Some people I worked with would give Christmas gifts to seriously ill children in hospitals. The person who organized it was very upset because I didn't want to let the parents know I was one of the donors. Why on earth would a parent of a dying child (she died December 26th) need to worry about sending thank you notes? IMO, just adding insult to injury. Let these poor people grieve in peace.
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I totally agree with you. Putting myself in your position, I would tell your coworker or whoever organized this thing, if they have to gloat about their charity then I dont want to be involved.