*Plot twist*

#1

I was wating for this moment my whole life! I opened the front door to find someone standing on my porch.

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everyone's favorite person
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Do you have a moment to listen to our message about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?" I shut the door, disappointed. It was not the pizza delivery guy.

strawberry idiot
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Another knock comes at the door. It's the same guy, holding a pizza. "I deliver pizza part time."

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webster
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Hello, I'm with the National Defense Against Demons, NDAD for short, and I was wondering if I could speak to you about all the monster hunting you've been doing," said the man outside, adjusting the collar of his pinstriped jacket. I nodded slowly, stuffing my hands in my pockets and gripping the switchblade, just in case.

I-am-bubbles!(she/her/cat)
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I didn’t trust him, something was wrong. The way he looked at me, the way he spoke, I knew that. But who? Oh no. The demon I met 5 years ago.

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idraax poission
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"I'm here to talk to you about your car's extended warranty $

Boredaf
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Yes?" I say excited to finally mess with one of these people.

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Gummy_wormz
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But my excitement died right away when I saw the knife in his hands...

*Displayname*=idk
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It was blood covered and he had an evil grin along his face.

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Chinmayee Kalghatgi
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That person was a serial killer and he was willing to train me on the art of putting cherries on milkshakes

StevenTheNeat
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

meanwhile, the pizza guy lay in a ditch with a bloody hole in his head. he was a poor excuse for an obstacle.

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Anna Scythe
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It was then I remembered it was Purge night.

Aurora Borealis
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It was my neighbor, James. We had always gotten along well, but I suppose it was all a ruse. He held a bloody knife in his hand and had an malicious glint in his eye.

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Phil DeBlanc
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It was an ex-girlfriend and she was holding a baby she said was mine.

Gummy_wormz
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She dropped the baby off with me and left. I didn't know what to do from there.

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Destiny Harrison
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Ah. Finally found you." Death said reaching for me from the porch.

Benjamin Brogan
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It was Ed McMann holding Balloons and a Huge Check from Publisher's Clearing House!

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RELATED:
    #2

    “Hmm yes. Potato”.

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    DUN DUN
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She said looking at an onion.

    Lucas Skrobot
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The potato looked at the human as they looked at the fry cutter

    Shoto Todoroki
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Potato looks up, large eyes shining with joy. His thick black tail wagging at the mention of his name "Woof!".

    Penny Harrison
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mrs Potato ran for the door while Mr Potato sacrificed himself for his family.

    kallee the frog
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    the way the granade was hidden, she nearly couldn't tell the difference.

    Heather Vandegrift
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Looking at the hole in the victim's chest, and the pile of blood soaked hash browns behind him, it was clear that the Potato Gun Reaper was at it again.

    Nezuko Kamado
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She said looking at her near dead father as she proceeded to take a bite.

    Anna Scythe
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The child said while putting her 14th sticker on the loaded gun

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    #3

    She went into her bedroom and dove under the bed, sure she'd be safe there. She waited and waited, but the noises wouldn't stop..

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    webster
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "STOP BLASTING NICKELBACK!" she screamed, slamming her fists on the ground in anguish.

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Look at this phonograph. Played better music than Nickelback.

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    Gareth Baus
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She was going to get a new sibling after all.

    Heather Vandegrift
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Closer and closer they came, then the door rattled... A clawed hand reached under the crack in the door, sharp tallons for her! Finally, she couldn't take the howling anymore! "Alright, FINE, you little monsters," she yelled, crawling out from under the bed and exasperatedly flinging open the door, "I'll share my tuna sandwich!". Her 4 fluffy cats of various sizes and cookies bounded into the room, mowing insistently and pawing at her leg, eager to partake of the delicious tuna sub sure had made the mistake of bringing into the house without sharing.

    Griffin T
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As tears of terror trickled down her cheeks, she heard a song song voice standing out amongst the racket "You can run but you can't hide, for these sounds come from inside"

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Dammit!" she heard her father shout. "If we don't get this new battery in before the old one dies, we'll have to factory reset. Just follow the clicking. If it stops... she's gone."

    L Whitehurst
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "No... no, it can't be possible, but her father's words rang in her head: "Angela, you're an android, and something's gone wrong with your battery. I'm going to have to shut you down for a little bit..." She had locked the door to her room behind her, and she heard her parents on the other side, her mother desperately crying to her father, "Frank, no! There's got to be another way! I can't lose her!" "Shut up, woman!" Frank's voice boomed. "Angela, honey, open the door..." He said in a sickly sweet voice. Angela ignored them and went to the mirror. "There's only one way I can truly know." She clawed at the skin of her arm, stifling her own cries of pain. She ignored the blood, and looked in horror at the metal mesh that lay beneath her skin. It was real. It was all real.

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    Sruthika Karalmarx
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I shouted stop jumping in the bed and pillow fight I said to my sisters

    StevenTheNeat
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    but the stench of their love attracted something bigger... something more sinister. she had seen the ancient beast tear her parents limb from limb, feeding on nothing but screams. but she was hiding from the foul, skin peeling noise of its own screams.... a scream that voiced a parents loss of their children... but this time, it was the child's turn for loss...

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    Benjamin Brogan
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Her parents had been doing "It" for a Week straight!

    Robert Duran
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She put her hands to her ears, and felt... Her headphones were still on!

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    #4

    "Dark in here isn't it?". I thought I was alone.

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    Richard A Petro
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "That's right, you're a loan" said a loud, hissing voice behind me "and I'm here to collect WHAT is owed me!" Then, to my right, a partially eaten apple thumped on the ground next to me!

    Genny McD
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My heart shot into my throat. So I really want alone. I turned around slowly to see who, or what was with me.... (your turn, kept it going!)

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    Gummy_wormz
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wish I had been alone. That voice belonged to someone I knew very well. Someone I hated. Albus. Albus Dumbledore.

    *Displayname*=idk
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Album Dumbledore had murdered 47 people. Six of which were my friends, and my mother. He always was obsessed with me.

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    GaeFrog
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It was dark because i was blind LMAO

    olx
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i should have been alone. this was the being buried part of the afterlife.

    Aa Cn
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Being buried turned out to be much more of a drag than I thought it would be when I was alive. No wonder zombies are so grumpy!

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    webster
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "I told you to stop inhabiting my body until I get my soul back, dude," I grumbled, grabbing a bottle of holy water from the shelf and taking a swig. A moment of burning pain quickly relieved as the ghost was expelled from my body. "You know, I'm beginning to think you aren't as comfortable with me as I am with you," he scoffed, dusting off his translucent jacket. "Just don't do that when we go to visit the White Witch. I'll need her to see that I'm moral so that she'll retrieve my soul." "Right. Sorry I accidentally threw that out, by the way." I glared at the ghost, before grabbing today's clothes from the closet and walking towards the bathroom.

    Lulxby
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was shocked! I thought turning off the lights while I used the bathroom would protect me, but the creature in the shower just kept coming back...

    Bruno Madrigal
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The voice seemed to come from all directions.

    StevenTheNeat
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    the dark steven had come to collect. not just him, but all of neat at once.

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    Gladys Hayes Southerland
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I dearly hoped l was alone because nobody else was supposed to be in this room except me. "Whose bright idea was it to go into any dark room, let alone this room? Idiot.", l muttered.

    Heather Vandegrift
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The only sound that replied was my heartbeat, and the metal tinkling of her ID tags from her collar as I set it on the table. It hit me then, like a sledgehammer... She was gone. My beautiful, wicked smart best friend and service dog, Abby, was never going to turn on the light at that phrase again. I thought I was alone before; no family who cared, my only friends driven away by my crippling phobias, anxiety, and paranoia. I had stated to get better. I had started to understand that there was nothing out to get me, that I was safe... But now, with Abby gone, I was truly alone. "No" whispered an old familiar voice, laced with venom, "not alone. Never alone. i T W i L l b E $ 0 G 0 o D t O P L @ y WiTh YoU aGaiN

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "I sure do hope I'm born soon..."

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    #5

    “I’ve been kicked, beaten and unwanted ever since I can remember.” … “But, whenever I see a human, I still wag my tail out of hope.”

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    StevenTheNeat
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    hope for one last meal, before the critical cancer reaches my brain. if it gets to my spine, there will be no hope that my race can overtake the humans, and survive on this planet. my name is byerkan the first, and this is the story of the end of the humans.

    Chinmayee Kalghatgi
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It all started when the mighty Alpha centauri system detected humans. We are a bunch of superior beings and in order to stay superior we eliminate species by altering the planet to create “climate change”. We also plant robot politicians who only operate based on votes. Today, I will set the planet on fire

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    Reading-under-Sequoias🫶🇺🇦
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Another human approached, something in their hand. The dog walked over to them and took a scrap of food. This went on for a few weeks before the kind human returned with something different. A collar. And that's how the dog gained a happy home. The end!

    Shoto Todoroki
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But despite that, I still feel discouraged whenever I see other dogs picked. So I sit taller, perk my ears up. But I still hear the sharp words "What a scary dog!" "Pitbulls are a terrible dog! Worst breed ever!" "Those dogs shouldn't be allowed to live." I still wag my tail hoping that someone will see that I'm a good dog, that I'm not scary. That I just want to be held and hugged and called a good boy. "You'll never get adopted, humans hate your breed!" Snaps another dog. I close my eyes- but when I open them again, I'm laying in a soft bed instead of the hard ground. I hear soft talking and smell yummy food instead loud terrified barking and fear scent. Then I see them, my tail wags as my human, the one who chose me. Who saw me and wasn't scared. Who knew I was a good boy! "Hey bubby, it's okay. You're safe here, you're my good boy." (The end)

    loyalhufflepuff07
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ahh I'm not crying you're crying. Such a good ending 👍🏻 keep it up dude!

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    Aurora Borealis
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nooo!!! Don't write for this one or I will actually cry. I can't with this. I can barely watch Disney's Kitbull short without crying

    Snowfoxrox
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love that short!! My niece looses it every.single.time. Have you watch another short called OUT?

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    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "I used to wag all five, but they finally matured and slithered away in search of nutrients."

    Gladys Hayes Southerland
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Problem is, you just don't get that y'all are just too needy!, Sasha languidly stretched to her full length before delicately licking her front paw. "If you learn to show more dignity...

    Destiny Harrison
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Hope that they'll ignore my tail and finally recognize that just because I'm a mutated clone of Hitler doesn't mean I'm not deserving of love."

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    #6

    “What in the planet blown up in the space war of 1942 is this doing in your room?” Those were the words my mother siad as she held up the dust particle that belonged to my half-spider sibling

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    Destiny Harrison
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mother, was a mental patient. We'd gotten very used to her ramblings over the years. I very calmly explained to her that it wasn't a dust particle, it was a bed sheet, and perhaps, the time had come for her third medication of the day.

    Anjelika
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mum let's be honest, you caught me doing worse

    Lucas Skrobot
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It was a dead bully half fly from school he had killed

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "I can't help where he molts, mom."

    Shoto Todoroki
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I look up at my mother and sighed "I didn't do it! But I also won't say that my brother did it either!"

    StevenTheNeat
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    it had been days since they arrived... the boltsmann eradicators had done their job. and her sister was one of the first to pay... pay for existing on boltsmanns lawn....

    #7

    He darted forwards, catching the door before it slammed shut. "We only have a few hours left!"

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    K- THULU
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "But", I wept, " i just can't sit through another star wars movie..."

    *Displayname*=idk
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Then like a bullet, I was pulled back and tied to a chair to watch the disappointing film. He just smiled the whole time googling all the characters, and looking at me as I tried to escape.

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    Jette Wang Wahnon
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The panic in his voice was drowned in the increasing high sound of approaching enemy planes.

    StevenTheNeat
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    but they werent planes... they were bugs... horrific, ancient bugs, come to redeem missed human sacrafices.

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    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "And it only takes you five minutes of it. We have plenty of time before the kids get home; slow your roll."

    J P.G.
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Drink the rest of the milk before it expires!

    webster
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Don't worry," his brother said coolly, "We've stopped the end of time before."

    shreya joshi
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Jeez," I grumbled. "You'd think this was my first time breaking into a museum. Oh wait. IT IS!!" He whipped his head back forcefully to look me in my eyes. I put my hands up in surrender and he turned back around. I sighed with relief, my body relaxing. For my first time, i had done a pretty good job picking the lock. We walked in slowly only to come face to face with... a... oh. A picture of a lion. You might be wondering exactly how we had gotten here. We may or may not have put a little something extra in the night guards grubhub to make this happen. But for you to get it, we have to go all the way back to the beginning...

    Destiny Harrison
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "If we don't go now we'll never get tickets to the WHAM cover band playing at the community center!“ My brother Mark yelled for the fifth time that hour. No one had the heart to tell him he was wrong.

    Gilmore Girls
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "For your last wordle before midnight, you mean?" And she looked dead in the eye. "No" she said like a cracking whip. "I will NOT help you with your stupid wordle." His face fell. "Please, Emmie, please". He begged. He was on his knees now. Finally. She grinned mischievously. "Fine," she said giggling. "Oh, Emmie". The first word she put in: Laugh.

    Gladys Hayes Southerland
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The indigo digital numerals moved Time forward relentlessly without guilt or regret. It was now 9:30PM." At midnight, l will turn into... '

    Alexandria Potter
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "I can't" I sobbed. I couldn't kill her. Not if my life depended on it. Even if the whole world depended on it.

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    #8

    I opened my eyes and expected to see the colorful vibrant colors of the kitchen. But instead i was greeted by utter darkness.

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    Zedrapazia
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This was the moment i realized that I had walked into the kitchen cabinet accidentally

    webster
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's what I get for giving my cat the remote control to my brain..

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    Shoto Todoroki
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My steps slow down as I look around, the room felt eerie as a uncomfortable silence settled. The only sound being that of my heart pounding in my ears like drums and the unsteady waver of my breathing. Who knew being a night guard of a popular childrens pizzeria would be so scary! That's when I heard it- a low pained groan. I turn slowly only see the massive form of the purple electric gutair playing bunny towering over me.

    Ziya
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Because the stupid landlord cutted the electricity supply...... For the 6th time this week. I had to pay my bills after 2 months

    NG
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    … and turned on the light switch

    Rayne
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "D*mn electricity bill," I muttered.

    Aa Cn
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I fumbled for the light and switched it on, flooding the room with light. The garage sale clock near the fridge told me it was 9AM, but you wouldn't know it from pitch black outside the window. I could feel my confusion mirrored in the mutterings of my neighbours outside, wondering why the sun hadn't risen yet.

    *Displayname*=idk
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Then out of nowhere blight space lights had flooded the sky, there were so many!

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    Genny McD
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I tried to rub my eyes and realized I still had my sleep mask on. Goodness! I giggled at myself for being so silly. I took my sleep mask off, in front of me and ask around was my familiar kitchen. All was good. I wandered into the living room carrying a my of coffee and reading the news in my phone. I went to sit in my chair, mainly out of habit. My coffee sounded down the front of my t shirt, scalding me, as I landed on the floor. I looked around to see what happened, when I realized, this wasn't my living room.....

    shreya joshi
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But wait... it looked exactly like my house! Where was I? Lost in my thoughts, I barely noticed when the lighting changed behind me. I slowly turned to see that behind me, where the wall was supposed to be, lay a whole setup of cameras and lights manned by people in black shirts...

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    Firefoxy3121
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As showers of something thudded onto the roof I began to hear something that sounded like sobbing, while another spoke the last rites. I began screaming and clawing at the roof as I realised my fate

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    #9

    This biscuit tasted different,...weird. What ingredients have they used; it tastes so unnatural!

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    Francesa Miller
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "But it's all natural." Aunt said. "Healthy, organic ingredients only." No wonder it tasted weird. It was missing my normal sugars, flavorings, and preservatives. I could already feel the withdrawal symptoms rising to an unwholesome crescendo. How dare she do this to me.

    YourFavouriteSelo
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    then, i realised the flavor. with dread, i thought... almonds

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    Georgia Hebert
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And that's when I realized, it's an edible!

    Succulent
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And then you realized. You were eating a DOG BISCUIT

    Cynthia Dennard
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not only did it taste unnatural; it smelled like antiseptic. Why would she give me...and then my throat started to close...

    Succulent
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Then I looked on the back. It was gluten free, dairy free, egg free, vegan and it did not have any artificial colors or flavors. No wonder it tasted like birdseed

    Destiny Harrison
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "This is the last time I buy gluten free biscuit mix from the gas station! “ I thought to myself knowing that the fifth time was really the last.

    Shoto Todoroki
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The judge cuts open the biscuit and they frown when they seey that they have been served leaf mulch biscuits "What in the-!?"

    Sue Denham
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Princess Penelope spat out the offending mouthful. How dare her people try to give her anything other than Kitty Krunch!

    Anjelika
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's what you get for putting salt instead of sugar

    Nicole Normand
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I registered I was eating fake cookies placed on a nice plate for decoration.

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    #10

    It’s like there was no escape, the room went on forever. That was until she realized she was dead.

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    Correy
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Indeed you are. Wait, she said, who is speaking to me? It is me, the voice said, Albus Dumbledore

    DUN DUN
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "YOU UMBRIDGE, YOU PINK TOAD, YOU DESERVE FAR WORSE FATE THAN DEATH!!!" said Dumbledore calmly.

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    webster
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Damn, I did Reaper Duty last year," she groaned, grabbing the familiar scythe from the ground and stalking off out the Gate of Hell. This was going to be a long six weeks.

    Shoto Todoroki
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How long has she been dead? Oh how she wishes to do that day over. Only if she had stayed home, she wouldn't have clipped into the backrooms. She can only hope that someone else comes along to keep her company.

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So she sat there and rotted about it real hard.

    J P.G.
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So she turned off her PS5.

    Destiny Harrison
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Then the room suddenly came to a dead stop.

    YourFavouriteSelo
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    lmaooo. 10/10 Harry Potter references. i almost choked on my yogurt.

    YourFavouriteSelo
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    10/10 Harry Potter references. I almost choked on my yogurt. lmaooo

    Genny McD
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Upon that realization, she cried. After feeling sorry for herself that she was dead, she thought about what to do next. That's when she remembered, 'The idea'. Almost as soon as the thought materialized, so did the blue hue that began to pulse inside the room. Was she even ready to face this? Faintly she heard a dull roar, like water falling. It kept getting louder. She started at the blue light as it just kept growing and the roaring getting louder. She clasped her hands to her ears. All of a sudden, within the blue, she saw a hazy shadow take form....

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    #11

    How could she do this? She swore she wouldn't

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    *Displayname*=idk
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She killed the petty cashier from Walmart. All because she couldn't win the $500 gift card from the survey.

    ash
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    she swore she would not talk about bruno, but she did

    Destiny Harrison
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "You forgot the #1 Mom necklace I gave you! “ I yelled to the dancer on the pole.

    Shoto Todoroki
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He looks towards is wife with tears in his eyes "You told me you would never do the mayo in the pudding cup trick ever again!" He cries.

    Gladys Hayes Southerland
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But there was the evidence right in front of me. Right there on the pristine, snowy coverlet on her bed.

    Ines Spotify
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My sister ate the last slice of pizza while I went to the bathroom. She swore we would share it. I guess we're even now, now she can't get mad that I slept with her bf.

    Robert Duran
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She ran off with my husband and left me here to pick up the pieces. I just wanna die...

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Specifically, she said, "Like F**K I wouldn't!"

    J P.G.
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But yet, she bought 1-ply toilet paper. The horror!

    Effseven Six
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I felt my face flush with panic. She was doing it before my eyes. One by one she placed the pineapple slices on the pizza. I couldn't close my eyes tight enough.

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    #12

    But what about Kate??? We can't just leave her!

    Report

    Will sell soul for corn chip
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    " SHUT UP MELVIN, SHE STOLE MY PRINGLES. SHE CAN DIE FOR ALL I CARE"

    webster
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "She didn't steal all of them!" Melvin protests. This does not sway you. "She ate the sour cream and onion ones. She deserves this.."

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    Destiny Harrison
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I grasped the bridge of my nose and explained that "Kate" was a house plant and would be absolutely fine by herself while my three year old had an absolute melt down about going to daycare without her "best friend". It was then that I knew I could never die. My child would need me for the absolute rest of their life.

    HarrySans
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

    ˖⁺(𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊)_
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

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    loyalhufflepuff07
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh, please, it's a hot sauce showdown with my best friend's sister! She's got a bow and arrow and a half blind golden retriever, she'll be... Yeah, we should probably go back. She won't survive.

    NG
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    but there was no time, and we rushed into the closet, leaving kate to talk to the religious group at the door

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Hmm... you're right. We may need the extra meat if we're to survive."

    Sarah Dollar
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    “Yes we can” I said. “She stole the last cookie she must pay.”

    Gilmore Girls
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Kendall, Kate wasn't there in the first place, it was a prank!" Kendall flew into a rage. "Kennedy!" She yelled "you can rot here for all I care!" And locked her in. Except she locked Kennedy in the kitchen. So yeah.

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    #13

    the explosion he felt, the one that shook the earth.... was the destruction of the last great man- made tank-city. he fell to his knees, with one hand on his helmet, and the other on the ashy dirt of this old earth.

    Report

    Peej Maybe
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "CUT! Honestly Steven, how many times do I have to tell you, you look like a walrus chewing a wasp when you stick out your bottom lip during emotional scenes! Reset everyone, let's try it again and this time for goodness sake try and be a little less wooden!"

    Roseriver_DSMP
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Little did they know, he was the one who destroyed it. His great unfinished symphony... would forever be unfinished.

    Reddog McGraw
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ....looking down at the dust swirling about his hand, he thought of all who came before, striving and bleeding for this ground. He rose to his feet and spit in defiance of the Mech Fortress on the horizon... It was time to bleed a little more.

    Shoto Todoroki
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He sat in silence for a heartbeat then a smirk spreads across his lips as a small huff leaves him. It turns into chuckle then a full on crazed laugh. Getting to his feet the man howls in with hysterics as he gazes upon the ruined world "Finally!" He starts "A shame it had to come to this, but they will finally see the extent of my power." He grins as a small horned figure steps up, it's long thin wings flex out "I'll bring them to you sir."

    #14

    I was walking through an alley. Cold. Alone. I thought for sure they would be here by now... "those idiots, they probably forgot about me" Then I heard a sound. An ambush! Before I knew it, I was surrounded by strange creatures. I knew I couldn't take on these things by myself. Then I saw a massive beam of light. I heard the boss music intensify. "finally" I sighed, "They're here"

    Report

    Lennah Palbachm
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ... but then Ryan Reynolds appeared out of nowhere and stole my sunglasses.

    *Displayname*=idk
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feared these creatures, because they had captured my friends. a And then I saw Eric Cartmen from South park. He told me to give him the last of my KFC or I would die.

    Destiny Harrison
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Time to step up. I've gotta dance battle for the fate of the universe. Again." I thought stretching my hamstring and mentally running through the choreography for Rhythm Nation in my mind. It served me so well the last 3 times.

    Shoto Todoroki
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "We have surrounded! No point in running now!" Called one of the strange creatures "You're wanted for Alien Tax Evasion!"

    Ryu Okamiya
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "¡¡HAPPY BIRHTDAY MISS MASON!!" Shouted out the tinny creatures sorrounding me trying to hug me ,acompanied by the other two teachers who planned this. "¡I knew it! ¡You didn't forget! For a moment I was scared that nobody was here yet" replied to the kids that were laughing

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "The Influencer takeover has begun."

    Nicole Normand
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    (I don't think the author of #12 can count)

    #15

    “Ah yes.” He stared longingly at the shooting range.

    Report

    Chris Osborn
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If only we had bullets to put in the gun.

    Shoto Todoroki
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "You just gonna stand there or are ya gonna do somethin'? You're holding up the line." The man running the water shooting carnival game growls.

    Destiny Harrison
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But he knew she'd never love him again. Not after she'd caught him cheating on her with the archery range, the dart board at the local bar, and the Target down the road from his house.

    ColdBlooded
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Whoever made this target is a very fine artist indeed", he said.

    Gladys Hayes Southerland
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Who would have thought ammo for a .38 would be 🔛 the black market in the US?

    Benjamin Brogan
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ..."Live targets today?" I asked. "Yes. Bottle and can targets are expensive. Paper and melons have gone extinct." my Sargent replied.

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The range had terrible aim, but it's refusal to stop trying was awe inspiriing.

    athornedrose
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    he missed that range. when all there was to shoot at were targets. when your bullet didn't result in the spray of blood, it was much easier to watch and appreciate your accuracy

    chimken 🇺🇦
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For one day, after he was educated enough, he would KILL THE KAREN CASHIER AT TARGET

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    #16

    A girl was walking with her friends. They were going to an amusement park!

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    DUN DUN
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They had received tickets in an envelope the previous day, and they were SO excited! But they were not so sure about the address of the park...Area 51? What area was this? 25? 37? How many more blocks to go before they reach 51? They decided to ask the man standing ta bit farther, in the all black attire. They hoped he would know where to go from here.

    *Displayname*=idk
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When they approached the man in the black attire with the question he did not awnser, he stood still. Suddenly he a huge gust of wind rolled over and the man fell apart. He was just skin and the black attire the three girls had seen. Something had eaten the man from the inside out, leaving nothing, not even bone.

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    What even is this
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But they saw something new, and DIED. Get the reference?

    loyalhufflepuff07
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No, Eep, that does not mean you get to go inside. Stay inside the family kill circle.

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    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They'd brought all the drugs they could get their hands on on short notice. After all, the invitations said, "So high, but not in the sky, join us without further ado.....and then you'll float, too."

    Shoto Todoroki
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "I hope that they that attraction open, I want to see if those things really existed." One friend says excitedly. "I heard that they were furless and thumbs that let them pick up things and carry stuff."

    Genny McD
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They had taken this route every other time they went. It only took 30 minutes to walk the short distance to the front gate. Finally the made it to the gate. As soon as they walked though the turnstiles, a giant green rabbit walked up to them to take pictures. The girls laughed. This was the worst park mascot yet! As soon as the ugly green rabbit put its silent arms around the girls, the park attendant went to take the photo. As soon as the shutter clicked, all went dark. We were all screaming and bumping into each other. There was like no room to move at all and it was pitch black. What we didn't realize was, that we were now trapped inside the camera somehow....

    #17

    He insisted that the knife slipped. One of the witnesses was certain it was no accident.

    Report

    Gummy_wormz
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But the witness was not JUST a witness. He was... The victim.

    Roseriver_DSMP
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ghostbur's only faint memory was his own begging... and the death he had wished for. But he couldn't remember his past self, his reputation, or why he wanted to die.

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    Essex Eagle
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The buttered bread fell to the floor

    Spittnimage
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Colonel Mustard in the drawing room with a knife was sure this excuse would work again.

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The knife, in a coma, so far had been unable to tell anyone which it was: a slip, or was he pushed?

    Destiny Harrison
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He really meant to stab the person 173 times not 172! He'd never get the Guinness record with sloppy gripping like this. Next time he'd have to really step up his game.

    Shoto Todoroki
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The judge looks towards Brutus "What do you have to say for yourself?"

    Anjelika
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He admitted to tripping on a pebble, he had no idea the knife would catch on his mistress's dress, striking her heart

    Robert Duran
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He had been complaining about the onions all morning and wanted to go home. Bastard cut himself on purpose.

    Lost Panda
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The witness was her daughter and she was right, it was no accident, the knife pierced the flesh quickly and expertly, almost effortlessly like her mother had done this a hundred times before, one manoeuvre of the blade and the cracking was off the roast pork and her mother devoured it all before the rest of the family could sit down to eat. Mother always stole the crackling!

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    #18

    I opened the door and saw my girlfriend sitting at the table

    Report

    DUN DUN
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ...and shoving cabbage into her mouth like there was no tomorrow. I got so mad! Doesn't she know about the cabbage price hike!? How can she finish all of it at once!? That was a week's worth of stuff right inside that mouth of hers.

    Nicole Normand
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, I thought, I'm going to have my revenge tonight while she farts away in her sleep!

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    Paola Martz
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ..."how strange", I thought, since it's been eight years since my girlfriend passed away.

    *Displayname*=idk
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She was as pale as the clouds, and when I touched her she felt as ice. Her eyes looked lost but yet found.

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    Ines Spotify
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My ex girlfriend. My heart starts to beat really fast inside my chest, I'm scared she might even hear it. She killed my wife 15 years ago when she realised she was the other girl. She's playing with a knife but doesn't look at me. 'I came to kill you but then I saw you have a daughter.' 'Please don't hurt her', I beg. ' Wouldn't it be a shame if you lost your daughter too?'. That's when you realise your teenager is tied up on your couch. 'You should have told her not to open the door to strangers claiming to be an old friend'. She walks to the living room putting the knife on my daughters throat. 'You were the only thing I had. You should've chosen me, not them.' That's when she slices your daughters throat. 'NO! WHAT DID YOU DO?! WHAT DID YOU-' 'Now we can get back together, honey! Nothing can hold you back now!'

    Shoto Todoroki
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "We need to talk." She starts. I grow nervous as I approach her not saying a word. I dreaded the next words, my friends told that those four words are ones you never want to hear. I look her in the eye. "I know you're the one who has been grating cheese into our dogs mouth...."

    Gladys Hayes Southerland
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She motioned me to come in & have a seat. Puzzled at all the cloak & dagger stuff that brought me here, l sat down. Someone to my right set down a small tray with a beer & a shot. My favorite vodka with a beer chaser.

    Cynthia Dennard
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    slowly drumming her fingers on the tabletop as she held the note in her hand meant for me from my neighbor.

    Destiny Harrison
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Which I thought was odd. Normally the table wasn't visible when you opened the door. She rearranged the furniture again. Dating a Virgo can be frustrating but she's a good cook so I keep her around.

    RandomFrog
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Holding a baby in her arms, bottle feeding it. “Where’d the baby come from??” I asked surprised, “and when did we buy a bottle!?””

    Anjelika
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I keep telling her to stop doing that

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    #19

    "Thank God you picked up! Where are you?"

    Report

    Nicole Normand
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You called me; you should know where I am.

    Shoto Todoroki
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "In the office...but you know your wife might get mad again..." Jake from State Farm mutters

    Succulent
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In a safe at the bottom of the Pacific

    Totally A Panda
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Awesome! Just wanted to make sure I didn't waste my money. Seems a little extra but you know how assassins are these days...

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    Gilmore Girls
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "I'm in the phone, Rose," I said sarcastically. She gasped. "Really?" I rolled my eyes. "No, Rose, I'm at the concert, for the FIFTH time!"

    Destiny Harrison
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Country music lyrics are really going downhill" I thought, listening to the chorus.

    Gladys Hayes Southerland
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "In bed." "Why aren't you at the airport?" "My plane doesn't arrive until tomorrow. Why, where are you? " "At the airport." Dumb & dumber misread the text.

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    #20

    "So, you're telling me," I questioned, "Magic is real and I can do it?" The enchantress nodded, grabbing my hand, pointing it towards the sky, and grinning at my shocked reaction as blue electricity crackled between my fingertips.

    Report

    DUN DUN
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My vision went black, and the next thing I knew, I was waking up in a hospital with severe 4-degree burns on my fingers and hand. That w(b)itch! She electrocuted me when I was high!

    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Never again am I allowing my borderline-sociopath brother to set me up on a date..

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    Shoto Todoroki
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Gasping Kaminari looks away from the movie and towards his friends "Dudes! That means I'm a wizard!" The electric boy pipes

    Jude Fire
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    " No Kami. You're not even a pro hero yet. You still short-circuit yourself at least once a week."

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    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Hey, dude?" my friend said. "I don't think these mushrooms have kicked in yet."

    Destiny Harrison
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm still not sure why Nicholas Cage made me call him "the enchantress" but it was a really cool night. We ended up getting tanked and binging Taco Bell till like 5 am.

    bigfoot🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Wow! Static electricity sure is cool Pieter van Musschenbroek!" said the boy.

    #21

    After years of research, I had finally found what I was looking for. In the cold Antarctic night, I opened the frozen wooden crate.

    Report

    Nicole Normand
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My old skis were in there, right where I left them.

    Jette Wang Wahnon
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The wind was getting stronger and the bone-piercing cold invaded my body,.I shivered,time was short and I knew I had to hurry to get back to my camp.I lifted the ski out of the box and then saw another box I had stoved in with the skis and my memory was flooded with images it had been too painful to think about all these years.Our ship had been crushed by the tightly packed ice,provisions gone and most of my mates had succumbed one by one.The remainder of us knew without food we would perish as well..An ice floe passed us and a dark shape was seen.At this moment a giant wave pushed it towards us and God knows how but we managed to secure it.A Firelander,long dead lay staring up at us with open,awful eyes.We could not eat this,but the stench was abominable so with the rest of the timber we made a box for it...I had put this to the back of my mind till now...

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    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A withered old crone who introduced herself as Pandora slithered out. "Never should've freed me, dearie. I wasn't the one who opened; I'm the worst evil they managed to contain once it was. But...no longer." She grinned, and a razor sharp tongue whipped out, wrapping around my neck. A pestilence of bugs flew from her enlarged taste buds as she squeezed.

    Simian Gamer
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Evidence proving that Santa has been murdering his reindeer each year and replacing them.

    Wendy Yandle
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The mate to my favorite sock! Too bad it was lost when I was in 5th grade and I'm a retired Hanes worker in my 70s.

    J P.G.
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And there it was: "I wanted to tell you about our extended warranty."

    Cynthia Dennard
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And found nothing. It was all a lie.

    Will sell soul for corn chip
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The frostbite bit at my stiff fingers, and as the wind screamed around me, hiding my own. Inside the box was a awful creature of ink black skin, that oozed pus and open sores that throbbed, threatening to burst. Its eyes had a yellow crust to them, and it wheezed and shivered. The stench was the worst part, it smelled of sickly rotten flesh and of fish. I felt the bile rising to my throat

    Jette Wang Wahnon
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The stench was even worse than I remembered and though I couldn´t feel my hands I managed to slam the lid shut.I had come back for the remains of my companions.I never told anyone,but we ate each of the men who succumbed to the ice,the icy winds and numbing cold water that pummelled us at all times and I was the sole survivor.It was too late to do anything for now so decided to track back to camp where a fire would be blazing and my new puppy,a husky pup would give me some courage to continue with my mission the next day.

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    Shyla Clay
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The puppy nibbled at my fingers as I lifted him up. His tiny tongue found my nose as I pulled him to my face.

    Destiny Harrison
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The cure for smelly dog farts was at my fingertips! I pulled the wheel of cheddar out of the crate and turned to my trusted hound dog Barry with a sinister grin on my face. I couldn't hold back the maniacal laughter as his tail began to wag.

    Shoto Todoroki
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And to my horror it was just a crate of sparkling water

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    #22

    “Trust me,” he said as he jumped of the cliff with a grin on his face

    Report

    Shoto Todoroki
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The cliff in realty was no maybe about as big as a boulder, I hear his sneakers crunch on the gravel on the other end. He returns his face flushed with embarrassment "It was cooler in my head"

    aceofspades
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    but then, all of the sudden, the gravel fell, because you forgot you were playing minecraft, and the gravel in the nether has weird-àss physics

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    Sue Denham
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "You forgot to put on your cape, Superman," I yelled. Unfortunately it was too late.

    Roseriver_DSMP
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "I knew Revivebur wasn't fit for life." He walked off, glad that annoying soot was gone again.

    Jacob Frey
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Surprised, Cliff jerked and his grin faded as the leprechaun used his hair to repell down his face.

    Sarah Dollar
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    and I never saw him again, as my plan was all along😔

    Gladys Hayes Southerland
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I watched in horror as his body fell. Suddenly, a roc from out of nowhere swooped under him, breaking his rather rapid descent.

    Ines Spotify
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The thing is... my husband died 3 years ago. Should I listen to this man who is his spitting image? Am I hallucinating again? -She was in a coma after a car accident, she saw her husband. Will she die if she jumps too?

    Robert Duran
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "BRANDON!!!!" I screamed. He looked back at me so peacefully. He hit the rocks below and and blood splattered everywhere. "NOOOOOOO!!!!"

    Melaniedawn Pressler
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just then, a women came over the loud speaker and said, "The 3-D art museum will be closing in 10 minutes."

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    #23

    "So it's a deal, then?" The man asked, holding out his hand.

    Report

    Jono
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    With the cost of living rocketing , he thought he may have to sell his other hand too

    webster
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "It's a deal," I agreed, shaking his outstretched hand firmly, "I'll kill the cheerleader, you'll kill the jock." He nodded again, toying with his stubble, his basic poindexter glasses gleaming in the moonlight. I'd spent all night watching movies (Heathers, Halloween, anything with murders)... The chess club would rise again!

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I took it. What else could I do? I couldn't play my instrument with just one and my music is all I'd had left.

    Marinasongs1432
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Yeah, I guess", I say tentatively, "I will randomly dress up as the grim reaper and ask random people about their car insurance warranty, and you will buy tacos once we're finished.

    Shoto Todoroki
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "It's a deal." I say shaking the raccoon's paw "I mean, you're giving me a place to live and a job. What's the worst that can happen?"

    Firstname Lastname
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Yes," I replied giving him the deck of cards. "Passing these out is called a deal."

    Gladys Hayes Southerland
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Fist bump, if you don't mind, old chap. Germs & all that. "

    Ines Spotify
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    'If I ask for forgiveness to anyone I hurt and redeem myself in the next 48 hours, you promise I'm not going to hell?' 'That's right', the grim reaper said shaking his hand but crossing the fingers of his other hand behind his back.

    #24

    I woke up and and realized somebody was in my bed. I said, “What the…”

    Report

    Jacob Frey
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Why are you surprised every single morning?" questioned my conjoined twin.

    Henryk Tzschoppe
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "MOMMY" yells the little boy lying there. "The Monster from my closet is back!"

    Nitro Codes
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was still pretty drunk, so I told the lady (it definitely was a lady), "Lady, I'm sure your fine and all, but I am married already." "Then what happened, Saw?" "Whelp, turns out the lady was my wife. Once I recovered from my hangover and the ritual was completed, she mentioned it."

    Shoto Todoroki
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The sleep paralysis demon rolls over comfortably snuggling deeper into the sheets

    kallee the frog
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "we had such a great time last night," she purred.

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    chimken 🇺🇦
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    “Amelia, not today.” I said, and the ferret sighed in exasperation. I pointed to the door, and she followed my command.

    Gilmore Girls
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Oi, you damn cat!" I yelled "Gerroff!"

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Okay, beyond who you are and WHYYYYYYY....HOW did you even fit in there without me noticing? How are you not choking on down? How...how much have you seen?"

    Will sell soul for corn chip
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    " hmm....?" The woman groaned rubbing her head and dragging her hand through her hair, her face pinched as she squinted in the morning light, trying to get used to it.

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    #25

    It was all dark. I mean, after all, it was the insides of a whale.

    Report

    Maggie
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Still, the advantage was plenty of whale oil for his lamp, so he lit it. "Bloody heartburn", grumbled the whale. Must be something I ate.

    loyalhufflepuff07
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe I should've just gone to Ninevah...

    kallee the frog
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Jonah thought. Maybe running from god wasn't the best decision.

    Shoto Todoroki
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    'I still wonder how I ended up here' ponders the wooden puppet

    Succulent
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Darn. Being a whale expert sucks

    StrangerOfTheDark
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Said the whale, "We've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty".

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm less terrified of being eaten and more terrified of the guy who keeps f*****g his puppet and swearing it's a real boy. As if that would make it better. I was worried he may turn on me, a warm body, but noted he was hung like a cricket and felt marginally safer.

    #26

    the group chat and see what happens if we can make a meeting with the team to make the changes in our budget. we just wanted you guys wanna know that you blew me away and you didn't get a good job at the time to get my life in order to be at the fact I have a lot to say to the vans of you.

    Report

    Shoto Todoroki
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Uh...okay but do you want fries with that?" The fast food worker asks.

    HarrySans
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "As the duck waddled away" and the man sped off.

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    Robert Duran
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Hmmm" said the scientist. "We managed wire him directly to his cellphone, but he's using predictive text to speak. Bring me more anesthesia. We need to make a few more adjustments."

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Psst, the boss is having a stroke," my co-worker whispered. "i know!" I gushed. "And on Thursday afternoon! Four day weekend, here we come!"

    Ines Spotify
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    'I think the anaesthesia is working, i have no idea what he's trying to say'

    Jacob Frey
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The internet Bots were evolving. They had figured out how to solve the latest Captcha and could now infiltrate Zoom meetings. They weren't perfect yet, but the latest projections determined they would be indistinguishable from real humans within days. Then who could we trust.

    Destiny Harrison
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Jim had a stroke right before our very eyes. We were horrified. But he just kept talking like nothing was amiss.

    #27

    He looked down at his plan, whisking a tuft of brown hair out of his face. "Now I just need something to blow up... AHA!"

    Report

    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "What about my own nation? Yes, that seems about right."

    kallee the frog
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "What about Cheryl's phone?" he smugly grinned to himself. he started sending dirty text after dirty text, some so outraguos he burst out laughing. then he got a text back. it said. he froze.

    Ines Spotify
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    'I told you to stop messaging me, Jake. I am married to your grandpa now, I'd appreciate it if you called me grandma now'

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    Benjamin Brogan
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ...this Balloon shall do the trick!

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "A giant bouncy house full of confetti and pinatas. That way when they discover all the bodies, they will never know what actually happened."

    Shiroiko
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Said Putin before attacking the Ukraine

    Jacob Frey
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Here" mom said throwing a bag of birthday balloons on the table. "Get to puffing. Your sister's birthday party is in an hour and we need all of these blown up."

    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "But- I don't have a sister..." He said with a terrible realisation.

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    J P.G.
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "No, you don't! And stop touching my hair!"

    Shoto Todoroki
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "No John, remember the last time?"

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    #28

    The priest ,always the same priest,complained that banned Carolina was at it again riding the cable-car

    Report

    Chinmayee Kalghatgi
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This time the preist had a plan, he sent a bunch of killer bees wearing trench coats to steal her money in the form of a billionare

    StevenTheNeat
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    each of the bees were sentient due to critical radiation. these hyperbees would mean certain death for anyone who got stung.... in this case, Carolina.

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    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "The cable car promises it's consensual, but we see the fear in its front windows."

    Jacob Frey
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But he needed concrete proof to show the cable-car police that it was actually evil North Carolina and not her benevolent twin sister, South Carolina, before they would believe him.

    Shoto Todoroki
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The cable-car was her only form of transportation to the man she loved. The priest was so incredibly attractive to her, with his Mr. Clean look to him. "Nothing will keep us apart!" She hollered as she hung out the window.

    #29

    I stared into the dark hole that had mysteriously appeared in my garden. And way deep down into the black void, something stared back.

    Report

    Genny McD
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I jerked back in suprise at the eyes staring at me. I must have been hypnotized by those eyes, I didn't realize that I was also in the hole now sinking deeper until a chunk of dirt fell in my head

    *Displayname*=idk
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I kept sinking, I was scared. I suddenly fell into water. Trying to swim up to catch my breath, but the thing was dragging me deeper and deeper until I couldn't hold my breath anymore. I passed out.

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    Alex Thorburn
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I screamed GENGAR IS THAT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I dropped my pokeball

    Georgia Hebert
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Come to the dark side! We have coffee and cookies ;)

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Wweee....wwwoooullld....lliike....toooo....disscusssss...your....WARRRRRRRANTYYYYYYYY

    Jacob Frey
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At that moment, I lost my balance and tumbled into the void. As I fell, I looked up through the opening and met my own face gazing down at me.

    Cynthia Dennard
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And it spoke: "So are you just gonna stare at me or help me outta here?"

    Shoto Todoroki
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And when I blinked it blinked. I raised my hand it raised its own hand. I said "Nope" as I turned away knowing just who to call to send down that hole. Mark from high school....

    loyalhufflepuff07
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "They stoles it, my precious. We needs to gets it back, my precious." "Is that Gollum or Smeagol talking?"

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    #30

    It was the middle of the night when the sound of the doorbell woke her up. Groggy and confused, she took a minute to decide if it was real or she had dreamed it.

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    webster
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dreamed it, she must have. It was crazy. Of course Nicolas Cage didn't just offer to set up a doorbell for her new apartment. But his face, perpetually and simultaneously in a state of confusion and petty sarcasm, was so clear to her...

    Will sell soul for corn chip
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She couldn't help but laugh uncomfortably, " um...sir? What??????"

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    Shoto Todoroki
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The door bell rang again "Sweetie, it's dad! I finally found the milk that you love." He father calls "It took twelve years but I finally found it!" The pure joy in his voice can be hear as clear as day "Turns out they stopped making it here, I found it in Switzerland!" He says "Let me in and we can share some, I even got this amazing cheese too."

    Gladys Hayes Southerland
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The insistent bell rang again. She grabbed her gun from its hiding place as she swung her feet to the floor. She turned on the living room light, clicked the safety off & racked it. Then standing to the right of the door, she called out "Who's there? "

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The doorbell reached over and comforted her. "It was just a nightmare honey, go back to sleep."

    athornedrose
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    she'd dreamed it, of course. hard to ring a bell to enter a tent.

    #31

    As I was just finishing up, my brother burst into my room. All the blood drained from my body.

    Report

    DUN DUN
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I died of exsanguination; all because of my stupid brother!

    Tessa (She/Her)
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He stared at me, as I was mid-way through my Google search of 'Google.com'.

    DUN DUN
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Are you in the Illuminati?" he asked calmly. My hands started to sweat. How did he know? Who told him? What should I say?

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    *Displayname*=idk
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He had deleted my bored panda account. I felt like I had nothing left. And because it deleted, I could not make another using my email.

    Will sell soul for corn chip
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    " how are you alive...?! I KILLED YOU! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD!!!!"

    Lainie
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Okay, this time at least woke me up in time for school, lil s**t.

    kallee the frog
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I quickly closed the porn.com tab. "h-hi there," i said awkwardly. he didn't see me, did he? "w-why are y-you in my r-r-r-room?' he stared, and it was then i realized I had 15 other porn tabs open.

    chimken 🇺🇦
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    “What are you doing…?” He says, watching me shut my computer fast as light. Truth is, I was shopping for cabbage. On…AMAZON!!!!!!!

    Marinasongs1432
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I guess that is a good thing, as I have kidney failure. My blood is going through major dialysis right now and now my brother saved my life, as he accidentally turned the machine on. The doctor forgot and I could sue for medical malpractice. One of his stupid mistakes made him my hero. I promise to send him kidney beans until I die or at least get a new kidney. I can see my wife and kids, happy again, and our debts paid off.

    rxndomhumxn01
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Stupid vampire brothers, I thought as I felt the sharp teeth sinking into my neck

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    #32

    I was walking down the road, scrolling through bored panda. I started to write a post...

    Report

    Aroace tiger (she/they/he)
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But you realise you were banned from commenting for a day for being sarcastic

    Aroace tiger (she/they/he)
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OH THAT ACTUALLY SENT I was just being salty but I'm keeping it up

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    *Displayname*=idk
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was writing about something that would change everything. I had to get it out, but my mom had family link and banned all my social media except Bored panda.

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "But then decided to seek professional help for my bad habit of writing letters to inanimate objects."

    Nicole Normand
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    my goal being more popular there than on Pinterest.

    Gilmore Girls
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But I was banned for revealing my password. A picture of my cat, password.

    Sunny Day
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But then I got lost in confusion. Why is d**k censored, but penis is not?

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    #33

    Here I was, alone in a clearing in the woods. Stepping upon me was a large gray wolf-who I did not expect to suddenly speak up to me. (Continue)

    Report

    Succulent
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "who the hell are you and why are you standing on my pizza?" He said, angry

    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    EHEHEHEHHEHHEHEEHHEHEEHHHEHHEEHHOW IS EVERYONE EVEN FUNNIER THAN I, EVEN IF I TRY SO HARD XD THIS IS GREAT

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    Melaniedawn Pressler
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Where are you going my child?" the wolf said slyly. "Nowhere." I mumbled as I noticed he was wearing Grandma's jacket.

    loyalhufflepuff07
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Hey, I see you like jackets. How about I just give you my red cape and we'll call it good?"

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    kallee the frog
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Hey babe, you left this at the crime scene," he says holding a knife in his jaws.

    Nitro Codes
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Oh, and in case you want it ... " *he hands me his phone number* "You know what to do." I thought maybe I would call him...

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    DA Stradling
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Get thee back on the meds", it said, then stole my tacos. I hope it enjoys them.

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Stop mixing your mushrooms with Everclear. This is getting out of control, Susan."

    Shoto Todoroki
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Don't start with that Team Jacob whooblah!" He snaps

    Nicole Normand
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He kept telling me I was his fated mate and would be forever taking care of me and the pups we'd made together. Did I believe him? No! I always thought my FM would be a lion shifter.

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    #34

    The man waited silently. His lantern flickered, then went out.

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    Succulent
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hello. We're been trying to reach you about your cars extended warranty. He said menacingly

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It had a lovely time out, but felt secretly terrible for flickering on the silently waiting man.

    kallee the frog
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He didn't move to light it again. Ras walked up to him, knowing exactly where he was. "I know who you're after," she breathed in his ear.

    Shoto Todoroki
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It didn't take long until he heard the rattle of bones as the undead soldiers began to advance him

    Nicole Normand
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thus died the last lighthouse in the country.

    #35

    "Hey buddy. You like candy?"

    Report

    webster
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Yessir!" the little boy hollored. "Too bad, go bum off someone else," said Ronald McDonald, fed up with his day job.

    kallee the frog
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The kidnapper smiled, and i could see the sunlight glint off his teeth. I thought about it, and i decided i wanted more. "add in two puppies of my choice, and you have yourself a deal, mister." she offered, and teh madman closed his eyes in relish as he though about how he felt when the little girl called him 'mister'. "alright," he agreed. he had backup puppies in his car, in case the candy didn't work. she then slyly breathed in his ear, "I think you have the perfect puppy for me," he gasped in delight only to have her slit his throat, using the knife she stole frm him. giggling as he gargled his own blood, she loped off tward the car to claim her candy and puppies.

    *Displayname*=idk
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "The little girl tilted her head. 'Mommy said to get stuff for the soup. I think you will be perfect' lighting flashed and the girl disappeared. The man was never seen again, but rumor has it she still roams the streets before lighting storms." The older brother closed the book. "Now I have to go out and get ground beef for tacos tomorrow."

    Marinasongs1432
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Nope!" I said, walking away before randomly adding "The last candy I ate made me a car."

    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ok i have to know ... where can I get some of your LSD?

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    Gilmore Girls
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Well, why do you think I'm in a sweetshop? To do a music video?" I asked sarcastically. She blinked, and said "You are Kandi Flozs though, music star." Huh?

    Ines Spotify
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    'Yes!' the little boy answered with a bit of hope. 'Me too. Do you have some?'

    loyalhufflepuff07
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Yeah." "Do you like red balloons?" "Yeah." *chomps arm*

    Cynthia Dennard
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "She doesn't come cheap but well worth it I tell ya!"

    Shoto Todoroki
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Oh yes!" Buddy barks wagging his tail. His owner made the best doggy safe candies

    Gummy_wormz
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Yes!" The girl exclaimed. "And you.... You'll make the perfect candy. " With a sinister grin on her face, she jumped forward. The last anyone heard of that man was his horrified scream, and the last anyone saw of him was a splatter of blood. It's said that if you see that girl, and she's talking about candy, run away. Because if you don't... You're next.

    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you don't become a horror writer, or at least write a short horror story, I will attack you.

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    #36

    "I'm tired of picking up this turtle twenty times a day," she signed angrily.

    Report

    StrangerOfTheDark
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Then maybe you should stop stealing my turtle", said Steve.

    Travis Fox
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The turtle sneered back "you think you're tired? Try crossing the road only to be picked up by some a*****e who puts you back on the other side."

    Georgia Hebert
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She then took the turtle ladder out of the aquarium.

    Shoto Todoroki
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "You don't need to pick him, we just asked you if you heard him hiccup." Ron signed back

    #37

    As the zombie smashed the car window, I smacked him with a baseball bat. The zombie sighed and said...

    Report

    Maggie
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Will you stop that. I left my car keys inside, I'm just trying to get home."

    Marinasongs1432
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Sir, Duolingo sent me because you haven't been practicing your spanish. So you have to beg for your life in spanish" He pulls out a gun.

    Purple Potato
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "i've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty"

    Shoto Todoroki
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "C-Can we stop?" The director lifts his hand and filming pauses "What now?" The zombie actor points at you "They used the real metal bat again...I swear I can't work with them."

    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm loving the replies here, but I was honestly expecting someone to comment “Sir, we've been trying to contact you about your car's extended warranty.”

    Anjelika
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm not going to eat your brains mate, these days human brains are all air,not nourishing at all

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "I thought it was PEANUT BUTTER JELLY with a baseball bat? Where's my goddamn peanut butter and jelly???"

    chimken 🇺🇦
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    “Dude, chill the f**k out! I left my wallet!”

    rxndomhumxn01
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Chill, I just wanted to ask if you had spare ketchup for my buddy Dracula

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    #38

    14+ years and I still whisper his name, the first thing in the morning or whenever m in pain...Àll tears are for him....💔

    Report

    Nicole Normand
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Good thing I'm keeping him on his lazy-boy, otherwise I would forget how he looks like after all these years.

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "PRAISE QUOB AND THEIR MANY NOODLY APPENDAGES!!!"

    #39

    Just when I thought everything had been taken care of, I heard the telephone ring. Shivers of dread ran up & down my spine; I wondered, can I? Do I? Will I be able to do this?

    Report

    Lennah Palbachm
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My car insurance reminder was never pleasant

    Shoto Todoroki
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You decide to answer only to hear "Sorry, we were out of chicken salad, we hope its okay that we subbed it for tuna salad..."

    Allie Hale
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hi this is Pizza Hut, what’s your order?

    Allie Hale
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hi, this is Pizza Hut. What would you like to order?

    chimken 🇺🇦
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I certainly did NOT want to talk about our lord and savior, Jesus Christ

    #40

    She went out to the veggie garden like she did every morning. To her dismay she noticed a new molehill in the middle of her strawberry patch, so she leaned forward to inspect it.

    Report

    Roseriver_DSMP
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And it turned out the molehill was a rickroll. Careful where you look....

    kallee the frog
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But it didn't look like an eveyday molehill. bending down to brush some dirt off, it suddenly popped up a head, which had a angry expression on it. "you interrupted my rebirthing session," he grumbled. she froze, and he narrowed his eyes at her.

    Shoto Todoroki
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When she was close enough a long red tongue shot forward and wrapped around her, with blinding speed the tongue yanks her down the hole. The ground trembles as a massive body energes from the ground. The 'strawberries' being nothing more that antenna long sharp teeth chomp away as it's dirt like body loves along searching for more food

    #41

    I turned my collar up, against the slowly rain. I looked him in the eye.

    Report

    Ribbon
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And I asked him those burning questions. "Where did he come from," I demanded with tears in my eyes. "Where did he go? Where did he come from?" Before I could continue, he cut me off. Three simple words, yet powerful enough to make one go weak in the knees. "Cotton Eye Joe."

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He stared back and said, "Flipping your collar does nothing against the rain. That's just a ridiculous thing we all need to abolish in shame. Here!!" It took a second for the pain to clear before realizing he'd thrown an umbrella at my face.

    Marinasongs1432
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Mam, I don't have your cheez-its." I giggle loudly, ignoring the blood in my throat.

    #42

    Abigail finally decided she would eat the curious blue heart shaped plant. One bite and the world began to swirl and twist in on itself.

    Report

    Will sell soul for corn chip
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Colors she had never seen before danced around her, terrifying creatures with too many limbs and gaping jaws jumped at her as she screamed, crying for help and she rocked back and forth. She clawed at her face, her nails drawing blood. Finally, she passed out, only waking up when it was dark, her face aching.

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When she came to, she was sitting over her sisters corpse in her loveliest blue dress. Except for the big, red hole in the chest cavity. "I warned you to stop borrowing my clothes, b***h." "AND I TOLD YOU TO STOP BORROWING MY BOYFRIENDS!!" came a loud wheeze from her chest. A tentacle shot out from the heartless hole, wrapping itself around her face, and dragged her sister in. The process takes only five agonizing seconds. Eight hours later, a very tired lady in a lovely blue dress began to vomit her sister up. "Next time I'm CRAPPING you out!!" "GGHRZZGLEWZXC!!!" came a stern but gentle melody from the torture food room. "Okaaaay mom, we'll stop....for now." they whisper in tandem, giggling. (Wtf did I just do....thank f**k hardly anyone will see this 😂)

    Nitro Codes
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I WANT TO UPVOTE THIS SO everyone CAN SEE THIS

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    webster
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I mean, she already ate quartz, so what was the big deal?

    Gilmore Girls
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Somehow her glasses fell off. Darn it! She yelled a profanity into the air. The plant hated her, and she hated it, so that worked out

    Marinasongs1432
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She was in wonderland, watching a war between the red and white queen.

    Shoto Todoroki
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Watching on the monitor the scientist begin to jot down the goings on "She ate the blue one...again." the other scientist stares as they looks at their teammate "Again!? Dang it Abigail!"

    Nicole Normand
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A rabbit hole appeared and she jump right into it. Thus started Alice's little sister dream adventure.

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    #43

    I vomited. Disgusting.

    Report

    kallee the frog
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    but the fact taht it was into my crushes's mouth was rather interesting. he had a look of pure bliss on this handsome features, as he thought i was going to kiss him.

    Will sell soul for corn chip
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Her arms were too long, dragging against the floor, eight eyes that protruded her eye sockets, and a dislocated jaw with her long tongue drooling against the floor. She had no hair, nor eyebrows or lashes, and her skin had a yellow tint to it. Looking at her as she wheezed with her almost non existent nose, i almost vomited again. The doctor briefly looked at me in concern, before turning away annoyed at the mess i had made. " 125, clean yourself up. You aren't exactly a pretty sight either" I supposed he was right i thought to myself, as i looked at the glass of the wall containing me, seeing my reflection.

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I sucked it back in, bc wasting food is the true disgusting thing.

    Cynthia Dennard
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    All of the hard parts of him that I couldn't absorb -nails, teeth, earrings- were floating in the pool of vomit. I rubbed the back of my hand across my mouth and ambled to the refrigerator for a glass of blood.

    Shoto Todoroki
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "But perhaps this is the only way that will get my human to stay home with me today." Grins the cat as he lays on the couch pretending to be sick

    Firstname Lastname
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The things a mother bird will do for her hatchlings.

    *Displayname*=idk
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can't believe I just witnessed the first cross between a pig, human, and cow.

    ColdBlooded
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Must have been aunties refreshing vegan burger with no meat or cheese...

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    #44

    I hear a boom. "O no the apocalypse has begun."

    Report

    you can call me Geo
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "You're always so full of drama" my Thea says, looking at me with her wry smile. That was the back door slamming. Your uncle is off to buy cigars.

    Gummy_wormz
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But little did I know, it was not my uncle who had gone out, it was my father, who had left to get milk.

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    Roseriver_DSMP
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Tommy walked out, looking across the hills. "Tubbo, Wilbur has blown up L'manburg again. I thought he was over this now." He went back to making a sandwich.

    Anonymousplease
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The cat had fallen of the desk, but not before she sent an email to my teacher with random letters

    Shoto Todoroki
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "You always say that every time we watch fireworks, it's like you want something to happen."

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Then I remembered I'd had Taco Bell for supper."

    #45

    Umm babe, where did my cooking oil I just made go? I told you I need it for the brownies today!

    Report

    Nicole Normand
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We're going vegan; you can use my avocado instead.

    kallee the frog
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't you remember? you were drunk last night and tried to use it as a lube.

    Cynthia Dennard
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He stood there silently staring at me. "You used it yesterday; don't you remember?".

    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Damn it I knew I didn't smoke before I made dinner no wonder I was high...

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    Shoto Todoroki
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She says nothing as they both make eye contact, she has the empty container in hand, oil all over the floor.

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Okay I thought that beer tasted funny..."

    Shyla Clay
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "You can't use oil on brownies. They'll get zits before they're girl scouts," the troop leader pointed out.

    #46

    Looks like I dug my own grave with this one; a crowd had gathered around me. Now, I have two options...

    Report

    Marinasongs1432
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Give the Doritos or suffer the people holding signs with Bernies Sanders with gloves.

    Gilmore Girls
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Run, or tell Allie that her baby names weren't ridiculous. I ran. Because honestly, LeighAnna, Kalliope and Honeigh are utterleigh Zstupiid!

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    1. Get in the grave. 2. Make a much bigger grave for all those who fuckethed around and foundeth out.

    ava
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Run away or cause a distraction

    Shoto Todoroki
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Climb out of the grave or stay still despite my growing hunger for brains

    #47

    With his sword out, he started to battle the dark overlord. Suddenly, he fell to the floor, and the dark lord raised his sword.

    Report

    Maggie
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Pointing it dramatically to the sky, he shouted, "Let there be light!" And there was light. And he showed himself to be, in fact, the Light Lord.

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The hero was totally fine though, bc the dark lord couldn't resist a long, revealing monologue first.

    rxndomhumxn01
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ah yes, classic TWVM. Time Wasting Villainous Monologues. Classics, they never get old

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    Shoto Todoroki
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Waaaait!" The hero cries holding up his hands catching the other off guard "What?" He asks. The hero looks up at him "Aren't you going to reveal some upsetting info?" The villain blinks "Like?" He asks. "Like that you're my father?" The Dark Lord laughs "Good one, but I don't know you like that. I only know that you're here to ruin my rein."

    Georgia Hebert
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The downed hero pulls put an Uno Reverse card ;)

    #48

    This was it, the moment I'd been waiting forever for. He was the one!

    Report

    Dog Lover
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He had beautiful brown eyes and a big smile. He was dog she had been waiting for.

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The perfect teeth of a kind virgin was all I needed. The Dark Lord's title shall be mine by sunrise.

    #49

    Please, anybody...

    Report

    Marinasongs1432
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Can you answer my question? Where is my son?

    kallee the frog
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I moaned, waiting in line at mcdonalds.

    Destiny Harrison
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Fill an extremely large bowl with orange jello, eat half of it, and use the remainder as a flotation device in the hotel's swimming pool.

    Ines Spotify
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Can anybody hear me? My head is spinning & not one person around this table seems to notice.

    Melaniedawn Pressler
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I screamed from the dressing room, embarrassed. Last time I try on an outfit that's to small for me.

    #50

    Have you got the chequebook? Oh, and we need some butter.

    Report

    Marinasongs1432
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Of course we do, considering you used it to lubricate your ass!"

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He began chewing the chequebook. "Wow...I can't believe it's not butter..."

    Jacob Frey
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She took off the hazmat helmet and her hand dropped from the hatch's handle. "Regular or Chunky Peanutbutter. I'm only going out into the apocalypse for groceries ONCE this month. The mutant Karens are getting ridiculous..."

    foofoofloofy
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She screamed as he held a knife to her throat.

    #51

    I am sitting in the dark alone listening to the screams from the other room. I will be next.

    Report

    Marinasongs1432
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This dentist ran out of numbing materials due to the pandemic. Everyone was getting root canals.

    Ines Spotify
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is my first time in a bdsm club, kinda excited kinda scared..

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They are also my screams I hear. And as I scream, I hear myself whimpering in the dark, alone in the other room. If anyone is reading this please help, I've gotten myself into a quantum entanglement of the deadly kind.

    kallee the frog
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    the doctor was the best i could find online, though. He broke the best bones. When drugs ran out, people invested in pain specialists. the doctors had caused them to be addicted to the pain.

    HorseMuse
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes, prepare to die…

    Totally A Panda
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I knew getting my brother a nerf gun was a bad idea.

    Destiny Harrison
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As I peeled my shoe off the sticky tile, I realized that prostitutes don't usually have waiting rooms and now I knew why.

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    #52

    I was floating around in my tub, and I sneezed. Someone said bless you; I live alone.

    Report

    Destiny Harrison
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Which is completely irrelevant as I was bathing in an IKEA display at the time. The staff was extremely upset.

    Gilmore Girls
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How did bubbles sound like me asking Alexa to do anything?

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And that was how it all began on what became known as, "The Day the Water Turned Sentient".

    foofoofloofy
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I looked at the man who was coming in through the window. "Can you hand me the bubblebath?" I asked him.

    #53

    (Not mine, but wanted to share) “The aliens arrived with a message of peace and love for Earth. So, as the first gesture of goodwill, they purged all human parasites from its surface.” “Please, take me instead!” I scream, grabbing at the men who were holding my children. “Sorry Ma’am, kiddies only” they replied, as they continued loading up the last lifeboat aboard the ship. Being one of the first humans on mars has its perks. Being the only one to be forgotten however, certainly doesn’t. Two eyes peered down at me through the darkness. “No, no survivors here.” I heard the rescue searcher say. Personally, I love all of my creations equally. Sometimes though, I wonder if any of them remember that they used to be human.

    Report

    Crowsgoin*brrr*
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And startling awake, the cat said to itself, "damn that was a scary nightmare... is that how humans used to 'get it on' back when they weren't extinct?..." and proceeded to lick its behind.

    kallee the frog
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I gasped for air, the snow covering my nose and mouth. I could hardly whisper out, "im here," but it was in vain. my so-called resuers had moved on. i sighed, thinking of my boyfriend, blake, as my last breath escaped my chapped lips.

    aceofspades
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    then, you suddenly woke up in a cart, a man wearing a blue tunic and mouth bound stares out into the woods, you hear a voice say "hey you." and as you turn to look, the man continues on "you finally awake.walked right into that imperial ambush, tryna cross the border, ya?"

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    Shoto Todoroki
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Grandpa, what's a human?" The little dino asks "I dunno, they don't exist so just go to sleep."

    Will sell soul for corn chip
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I stared at them floating above my body , that was mauled beyond belief, blood drying in the humid cave.

    #54

    Once upon a time there was a little girl who fell out of her tower and broke her neck and a bunch of stuff and a bunch of stuff and a bunch of stuff and a bunch of stuff and someone rescued her in a bunch of stuff and a bunch of stuff and we kidnapped her in a bunch of stuff and a bunch of stuff at the end and a bunch of stuff. And a bunch of stuff in a bunch of stuff and a bunch of stuff and a bunch of stuff. * see? Two sentences!*

    Report

    Genny McD
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At least, that's what she thought happened! Right before she got the ground, giant cloud like arms caught her right before she impacted the ground. She felt more than she heard. "You silly girl. Do you really think you can escape your confinement? You belong to me child. Stay" She felt her feet touch the hard cold stone floor. She looked around her. She still stood in the same barren room that she had been trapped in for the last 200 years.....

    Abraham Marshall
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Turns out, she was just hallucinating from the fall. also, she ended up with a speech imparamint which caused her to repeat the phrase, " and a bunch of stuff" over and over

    Marinasongs1432
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The girl was cryogenically preserved for 5000 years and sent to a zoo.

    Shoto Todoroki
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The princess sighs "At least add the cool batte."

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In the darkest spaces between worlds, a creature long asleep opened one eye, then the other. Someone had said, out loud or in thought, the phrase. Finally. Bounchastuf ena bounchastuf. Repeatedly, each refrain giving it more energy, forcing it into a wakefulness even more enraged than it's base nature already was. First things first. It would never be truly free until the ones who thought or said it are slayed. None must know the secret words, now that they'd served their purpose. It was time to tie some loose ends together then splat them against the ground like an annoyingly stupid fly with only one wing.

    Jacob Frey
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "But you just yadda yadda yadda'd over the best part!" Jerry Seinfeld exclaimed.

    #55

    "They told us we wouldn't come back alive". Tears steamed down my face. But where are U going?

    Report

    *Displayname*=idk
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I tried to follow them but they closed the only door. I couldn't touch it because it was electric. I had shivers going down my back. My only choice was to find them and kill them. But where was I to find them?

    Roseriver_DSMP
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He shook his head. "Nah. Technoblade never dies." He took out his sword to go take on his next target...

    Shoto Todoroki
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Sometimes that's just what happens." The tom flicks his tail before turning towards his mate and nuzzles their cheek "I'm a warrior and I must protect my clan."

    Lennah Palbachm
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ... the zombies then proceeded to eat my head.

    #56

    A young man watched two workers heave cinder blocks from a semi-demolished building. He wanted to join them in a simple task, but far overcame desire.

    Report

    Shoto Todoroki
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So he can only sit idly as he gazes up at his father. One day he'll be big and strong just like dad. One day he'll be able to help. But now he's just a baby.

    Will sell soul for corn chip
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    After all, what could he do? He was a ghost after all.

    #57

    I knew it was wrong, but it felt so right. How could I possibly explain this to anyone else, when I couldn't even understand it myself?

    Report

    *Displayname*=idk
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had solved the magic spell that was forbidden for even the highest of magic users. It was illegal and you could be sentenced life in prison!

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sighing heavily, I log out of my 4chan account and clear my history.

    Shoto Todoroki
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Says the raccoon as he proceeds to eat more trashy burger and slurps down a half drank coke

    #58

    "Forgejgdwjdjwdbvjhrjky" I said in dismay. "What the f**k" said Steve from Minecraft. "You're high, aren't you"

    Report

    Ribbon
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Nooo, I'm Adam" I giggled

    Lennah Palbachm
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I nodded, looking over the building "veeeeery" then I jumped

    HorseMuse
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m having a stoke…innmmm habbbin a stock….stttrrrroke !

    Marinasongs1432
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Must be, as I am somehow in Minecraft and my hands are bloody.

    #59

    My son used to love art, but would rip up his paper when he messed up. I just wish he didn't become a tattoo artist. Now your turn, what's the second twist?

    Report

    Federico Guerrero-Isaza
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ¨Oops, I accidentally gave your Danny Devito tattoo another arm.¨ *pulls out machete*

    aceofspades
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "well", he thought, "turns out my habit of ripping the paper didn't turn out well." he stared at the skinless man, who was screaming in agony "i mean, it was a bloody good tattoo."

    Benjamin Brogan
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Now when he messes up, he rips up the entire body! Alive or dead, it doesn't matter. He still rips up his mistakes.

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It was the last I could take when he did it to his grandfather, my dad. Seeing him again after all those years was bad enough, seeing him in that *condition* even worse. As I saw my son rip the rotten flesh from the open back of my dad's funeral suit, I knew it was time for him to stop taking family from the ground, and start contributing back to it.

    #60

    Grabbing her dagger, she leapt out the window only to find him standing there. "what do you want?" she growled with fury dancing in her eyes.

    Report

    Evie Denen
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "I want to talk to you about your car's extended warranty"

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Fury, get out of her eyes. You know it gives her migraines and unfortunately the Queen of Illuminated Mysteries has made her move first. The entire courtyard smells of blood, princess. Or should I say, Queen in running. I'm sorry you have to find out this way but you knew long ago; there'd be no time for tears. Your parents wanted you to live...and so do I." With a wink, and a twinkle over his shoulder as Fury flew out and danced fiery circles of protection around him, he said, "You know where to go, where our army is in waiting. Go. Now!!!" and he turned and ran back towards the sounds of fire, screams, and metal slicing upon flesh.

    HorseMuse
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m looking for Mrs Willobee, does she live in this building?

    Gilmore Girls
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Feed me," he replied. Hell hath no fury than a slightly hungry cat.

    Benjamin Brogan
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ..."to talk to you about our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ"...

    #61

    I should've stop - he kept telling to himself, as he ran hurriedly past where the body laid, in a puddle of blood that glistened with a rare purple spark under the moonlight.

    Report

    Lennah Palbachm
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ... but it was Starbucks, and you had to fight to be first.

    kallee the frog
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But the blood was too delicious. the money he earned for doing it was great. he just couldn't stop. who needed self-control, anyaways?

    Shoto Todoroki
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yet his blood runs cold as he hears the sickening snap of bones followed by a gutteral gasping cry. He slows down as he looks over his shoulder only to see the mangled form prop itself up by its hands. Long black hair slick with blood shields its face but he knows its staring at him.

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    #62

    I peaked aut of that hole, it was a beautiful green scenery and I realized I was on a peak

    Report

    DUN DUN
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ..and I said "F**k it!" and jumped. I woke up screaming like a banshee on my bed, sweating like a waterfall, and apparently, I had wet the bed. Shaking my head, I got up to clean myself when I saw that I was literally standing on a mountain peak, this one happening in real life. I said "F**k it!" and jumped again. This time I did not wake up.

    *Displayname*=idk
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A week later hikers discovered my body, the told the police and they began to investigate. They thought it was a murder. They arrested your bugger eating ex.

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    Shoto Todoroki
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I frown, nose twitching I dart back into my burrow "It's to dang cold." I hear my bunny grandpa say as he curls deeper onto himself

    #63

    I shouldn’t have been here. I looked in the mirror.

    Report

    🇺🇦WeDontTalkAboutBruno🇺🇦
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There was... an ugly person there! Oh nevermind, just me

    Cynthia Dennard
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It wasn't as bad as I thought; at least the one eye remained and was useable.

    *Displayname*=idk
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had scars from battles from over all the years of fighting.

    Shoto Todoroki
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But there is no reflection, I sigh "Twilight lied to me..."

    Gummy_wormz
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Something popped up behind me. I screamed!! The thing just looked at me and asked.... "You have games... On your phone?"

    Benjamin Brogan
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ...and asked, "Mirror, Mirror on the wall, which of these pills should I swallow?"

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And now I'm at the stylist instead of work bc money is fleeting but beauty *surely* lasts forever!

    #64

    I had already reached the seventh floor when I got warned about “The Box.” I wasn’t sure if I should turn around because I didn’t recognize the number.

    Report

    Sophia Semchenko Detsch
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Suddenly a potato walked out of the elevator and threw "The Box" at me and I fainted.

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ....at first I read that as "and I farted", so I died laughing imagining someone getting hit in the head with a box so hard it made them fart.

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    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I mustered all my courage, and knocked, hoping to never even find out what "The Box" is, or even what's inside "The Box". The lock rattles, and the door opens. I gasp...it is most definitely "The Box" and now I unfortunately got my antiwish. I knew what was inside "The Box". "Oh hai!! I'm Gwyneth Paltrow. May I force you to smell my pussy candle and its goop?"

    Shoto Todoroki
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Everyone's talked about 'The Box', it just seemed to be popping up everywhere. People at work talked about it and when I asked about it they looked at me like I was crazy. "Everyone knows the box!" They'd say. When I got home I saw a large box in my living room. I approached slowly only to have my mate jump out grinning "Ayo thanks for watching!" It was just some stupid internet trend

    #65

    "Howdy," he told me, blushing at my confusion. It felt like I was losing myself, like all of my soul was being drained from my body.... Was it?

    Report

    Will sell soul for corn chip
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    His face began to morph, his skin becoming tighter and more wax-like, his eyes sinking in, and he smiled, the lips far to thin, and far too many teeth

    Tanner Hardy
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I woke up. I hear an odd purring sound near the foot of my bed. It mad my cat. There he was sucking my toes away one by one.

    Shoto Todoroki
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The man then proceeded to talk and talk. Turns out he's an energy vampire

    #66

    "Is this really necessary?"

    Report

    Nicole Normand
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes it is. You have to suffer to be beautiful.

    Shoto Todoroki
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The doctor paused he looked at his assistant who was seconds away from giving you the sleeping gas "I mean- do you want to be in pain?"

    Gilmore Girls
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "No it is not," he replied. His teeth suddenly seemed to glisten. They elongated into fangs. Ella knew she hadn't asked for a neck massage. He was handsome, very handsome. Emma felt the world dissolving. The smell of the vampiric perfume lingered. It was bright, so bright. There was someone leaning over her. "Are you a vampire?" She asked dreamily. "No, I'm Jacob from IKEA. Please remove yourself from our beds. And your cat, too."

    Will sell soul for corn chip
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As i hung from the ledge, a rope tied around my waist as i dangled from the cliff. The woman holding the end of my rope tied it the tree branch, as the crowd began to form to watch my excecution.

    #67

    “Hey…” he asked him. “I like you…a lot” he said, as nervous as ever. “Eric…” Daniel kissed him. “I like you, too!” Eric grinned and kissed Daniel. “ERIC?!” Yelled a voice, eric turned his head and then he saw his

    Report

    Briana Burton
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mom. "Eric what did I say about having a lover" "I can't have one till I'm older" "that's right so what is this""but I'm old enough now" no your not" "why not" "cause I'm your mom and I say so" "I hate you mom"Eric then runs away crying

    athornedrose
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Daniel. the boy he'd loved for years. turning back to the thing he kissed, he saw the creature's smile widen until it's mouth unhinged like a trap door. "true love is too delicious!"

    Marinasongs1432
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mom: "Eric! How dare you get into a relationship with your own son!"

    Shoto Todoroki
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    father, the number one hero. "Eric how could you?" Eric could only hold Daniel's hand "I- I meant to tell you-..." he's cut off by his father who only shakes his head "I don't care that you love boys, I'm hurt that it had to be a villain. Daniel is Stamp Out's sidekick Fenrir." Daniel can only look at Eric with a mix of love and hurt

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Stan and Kenny, looking on in shock. To the side sat Kyle with his arms crossed. "I've suspected for so long I keep forgetting it isn't common knowledge. Hey, buddy? Remember all those times you gave me hell for being JEWISH??? Well...you get a free pass bc Daniel is cool and outing you would be wrong. But since I have a secret to hold over you, f**k it. I'm bi." Kyle glances at Daniel. "And we all know what firebrands repressed religious kids end up being, right Daniel?" With a wink, Kyle walks off nonchalantly.

    #68

    "Drink, Kiss and be merry for today we live but tomorrow we shall die." Every day is Earth day, anyway!

    Report

    Roseriver_DSMP
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She woke up. She was one of the few that narrowly escaped death itself... she put her space suit on and walked down across the Martian sand. Looking through the telescope, she could see the corpse of earth floating in darkness...

    Shoto Todoroki
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The drunken bar erupts in a cheer "Someone get this man a beer!"

    #69

    I was looking at pet edibles for my poor cats scared of thunderstorms. Underneath flavors to choose from 'cat' flavor was listed.

    Report

    Destiny Harrison
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wondered to myself how many cats one must taste before science can work out the flavor. Mr. Mittens T. Kitten was very particular about his cat flavored weed treats and if it was even slightly off I'd get an earful at 3am.

    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My sister was really looking for some for her dogs that are scared of thunder and showed me the bottle that had "cat" really under 'flavors'. We wondered who did the tasting and was "no animals were harmed in the making of this product". And also was it tested on animals and if so, which ones. And if it was tested on dogs, would hers develop a taste for cats? We had a lot of fun with coming up with funny questions about the edibles.

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    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Did they break it down by breed so that the elegant self diner can get the full bodied cannibalism experience?

    Marinasongs1432
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes, I know. My cat loves weed. She actually loves catnip tho.

    StrangerOfTheDark
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

    #70

    "is there anything out there?" I called into the darkness. "There are many things, should one stop to look", the darkness answered.

    Report

    Phil Green
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The whole band were stood there, looking out at the crowd...

    #71

    I turned my key in the lock and pushed the front door open. It stopped a few inches in, on something noiseless and heavy.

    Report

    Natasha
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Suddenly the door flys open and you fall into the room. “Surprise” everyone screams. “Sorry” your totally high brother says, “I didn’t realized your door was there.”

    Marinasongs1432
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Loch Ness was in your river house, and decided to eat all of your cheerios.

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "F**k, another in game boundary. I'm never going to escape this game if I can't find the way forward...."

    chimken 🇺🇦
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    “DAMN IT, BERNARD!” I yell, slapping my gerbil on its back. “Why did u get in the food again?” He looks at me guiltily

    See Also on Bored Panda
    #72

    This is from Kipper, one of my favorite shows as a kid. Deep in the middle of the dark, dark wood there lived a horrible, horrendous, terrible, tremendous...

    Report

    HorseMuse
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Human being, his name was, Umph, or Knobbled or something like that…

    #73

    I dropped to my knees, kneeling infront of the small water fountain in the town square. Pressing my forearm against the cold concrete I scooped the water into my hands and…

    Report

    Destiny Harrison
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Realized that my hand was suddenly completely wet.

    Gilmore Girls
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ... realised what an ineffective glass they made.

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    the water went completely through my hands. I forgot. I always forget. Cursed to watch you all f*****g LIVE, LAUGH, & LOVE...cursed with this thirst, this hunger...the ANGER. I'm over here in the dark veil between many worlds, forced to watch all you fleshy meals walk around and surround me and I cannot TOUCH...cannot TASTE....the RAGE..... Wait...something new. DIFFERENT. That child...that bite sized morsel is *laughing*. Laughing at me. Can he....SEE me? It was that moment I realized I felt the shrieking cold sensation of water, of sunlight. I glanced towards the kid who instantly stopped laughing as I morphed, changed. The fear shook his face white and before the first trail of piss down his legs could puddle, I'd finished my transformation and he fell over, dead. I abandoned him there, as my first meal shall be warm. I fly now. Time to catch up on meals. This fast has lasted so very long....and I'm RAVENOUS.

    #74

    It was a horrible accident; all 42 people died. But no one could find the gerbil.

    Report

    #75

    Justin couldnt beleive his luck. Miranda's mom betrayed him?

    Report

    Federico Guerrero-Isaza
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Miranda wondered why Justin was so happy about it.

    #76

    FREE COOKIES - will deliver! All you have to do is listen to a sermon about Jesus Christ, and how he died for your sins!

    Report

    HorseMuse
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I decided to bake after all!

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As long as I can draw my counterpoint: by being an all powerful being and yet forcing his son to die slowly, horribly, and very publicly, God is the original deadbeat dad. Then say, "How do you feel knowing your God held all our souls hostage to test his very frightened child?" That's all the distraction time I need before the floor panel opens up and they're Addams Family'd tf outta my house. I'll keep the cookies though.

    #77

    "So, what's your favorite food?" I asked, he just smiles at me. I got really woozy, "W-what's your f-favori-" I pass out, "You." he says

    Report

    Jacob Frey
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The wizard picked up his knife and cut off the gingerbread man's arm. Stabbing it with a fork, he put it into his mouth. He regretted ever teaching his apprentice the spell for animating objects.

    #78

    So I was standing there, staring down the open hole

    Report

    Jacob Frey
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Someone had eaten all my Cool Ranch Doritos!

    Benjamin Brogan
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I yelled, "Hello?" Listening to the infinant echo...

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Uhh...baby? I think the b******g did its job a little TOO well"

    #79

    "And that's my presentation, thanks for listening!" Said _______, a smile plastered awkwardly on their red-tinted face.

    Report

    kallee the frog
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    and she had quite the right to be awkwardly smiling.in the sewer, surrounded by the teenage muntant nija turtles. meilin lee was very out of place indeed.

    Gilmore Girls
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Indeed, what on earth was Ginny Weasley doing with Pepa Madrigal, talking about the weather?

    Jacob Frey
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But none of the stuffed animals applauded because none of them wanted to admit that they didn't know how to pronounce __________.

    #80

    He gripped the door k**b with his bloody hand, and turned around to take a last look. The kitchen light was still on...

    Report

    Cynthia Dennard
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    but you could still see the splatters everywhere.

    Shoto Todoroki
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The butcher sighs as he slinks back toward the kitchen "Freaking Kevin! I told him to turn the lights off..." he grunts as he hits the switch, only pausing long enough to wash his hands before heading home.

    #81

    The four-foot tall egg started to hatch. He didn't expect those mythical beast to come from egg.

    Report

    StrangerOfTheDark
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Egg was bad egg. Bad egg make bad omelette. He much sad now.

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Giant egg only good for boiling. Cut in half and use each side as a bowl for eggdrop soup and goddammit now I actually want eggdrop soup served in a giant boiled egg half.

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    athornedrose
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i mean a sphinx was a mammal, right? why an egg?

    QueenAppleDragon
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The basilisk hissed and the man froze with terror, glancing away but it was too late. He was already petrified.

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Then again, he hadn't expected the mythical beast to come at all yet nine months later he'd shat this egg out. It had thankfully been smaller, but as it grew, he had shrunk and grown malnourished. He knew the egg was eating him. Now the only question was, "Is my son good, or evil? Do I go on to a new chapter in my life, or am I dead man walking?" Finally the egg simply collapsed. A nightmare beheld him. It was covered in....no, it appeared to be *made* of sticky, not quite congealing blood. It oozed around the body, forming muscle and body parts as needed. It let out a cry that was both as from a shrieking baby and a large caged animal in heat. The man lifted his hands out to the creature with a smile that could never be sanely called a smile. "Come...take me my son. Find what you need inside me and take it as yours." The creature wasted no time. In a flash it was upon him. And in a flash, it was gone, exploding the door out and chasing the smell of people under night sky

    Jacob Frey
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The YouTuber wrung his hands in excitement. Would it be Rhett and Link or Mr. Beast himself?

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    #82

    She looked down smiling her creepy smile. « Goodnight John » she said with a swift movement down.

    Report

    athornedrose
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    and that was the end of it. he could never hurt her again. not her or any other woman. it was finally over

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "But wait, I forgot to mansplain the correct way to use a tamp-" *THUD!* said a big wad of dift on his face, filling up his open mouth.

    kallee the frog
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    that movement down was a knife, spliting him in half. she smiled to herself as his screams faded into the sound of someone choking on their own blood.

    QueenAppleDragon
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    (Only UnOrdinary fans will get this) Seraphina glanced at the limp body of the black haired boy who had stolen her cake. He had DARED TAKE HER CAKE.

    #83

    Her piercing grey eyes stared into his soul, “Tell me,” she said.

    Report

    foofoofloofy
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Huh?" He replied. "I wasn't paying attention. There's this cringe bird over there."

    kallee the frog
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "I-I can't," he gasped, his chest heaving. "oh, is that so, mr. Joshua. Well, then I suppose you will never get what you came for." His eyes farted to her lips for a millisecond, and the gesture did not go unnoticed by her. she grined wickedly and began to trot away, leaving him following behind like a lost puppy.

    Destiny Harrison
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Uuuuuuuuugh!“ He groaned in frustration. "Mary we've been through this. You aren't a vampire and you cannot compel me no matter how badly you want to know the secret KFC chicken recipe." He said for what felt like the fiftieth time.

    chimken 🇺🇦
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    “Fine!” He says. “I wanted seven ferrets, but I only got six!” He starts sobbing. She rubs his back in sympathy. “I know,” she says, tears forming. “I know.”

    Marinasongs1432
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He, feeling very uncomfortable but not wanting to share his secrets, said a ridiculous thing. "Marry me."

    Succulent
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So I replied. "Watch out. Those eyes are so piercing they could poke a hole in a fire nation ship leaving thousands to die at sea"

    Queen Ifunanya
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "I do not love you anymore. I want a divorce", he said.

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Your eyes make me hungry in ways I cannot understand," he said back

    HorseMuse
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How do you get to San Jose?

    #84

    It was dinner time and I sat to get served food. My wife emerged from the kitchen with a bowl full of soup.

    Report

    Marinasongs1432
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was eating with my girlfriend at a restuarant.

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "What the hell is this?? It's all liquid and no meat!" he said. "Gets annoying, doesn't it?" she said pointedly.

    #85

    "This is the worst day ever," Gaylord Q. Tinkledink muttered. He twerked very sadly. (Haha! Try to find a twist for that! Bet you can't)

    Report

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Gaylord Q. stared at Tinkledink's dance. The sadness in his words and face were on display, but his actions did not match the emotion. GQ looked back over their last two weeks together. All the blood. All the screams. All the unanswered begs and pleadings for their lives. GQ had been shown they were demons, he could see their skin quiver into some sharper shape everytime Tinkle touched him. But... But....But. Those two goddamn words that had just entered his head were so sickeningly terrifying he felt he might puke. "What if". What if he'd been misled? What if he'd slaughtered his in-laws? Tinkle had "kindly" spared him having to do his own wife. He stared at Tinkledink's sad little dance...and wondered once more those two words: What if....."I enjoyed it...?"

    Marinasongs1432
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    His nachos turned gay at the look of him, and made some sexy faces, asking to be spanked. (Joke. Pls don't downvote me)

    Destiny Harrison
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A magical dragon appeared suddenly and said "Follow me Gaylord Q. Tinkledink for my YouTube can surely teach anyone to twerk." Gaylord screamed as a dragon had appeared suddenly and he knew his meds were definitely off and causing wild mood swings, erratic behavior, and hallucinations.

    chimken 🇺🇦
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    his mom walked by his room. “What in the hell are you doing?” She asks. “Mom,” he says. “You named me Gaylord for a reason.”

    Community Member
    3 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

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    #86

    “please, no!” I whimper, cowering my head into my knees. I feel the cold wind rushing onto my skin.

    Report

    Destiny Harrison
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "No more freezer pops! It's February. February!!!" I sobbed.

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "And that, class, is a perfect example of a metaphor for aging," said our professor moments before hurling herself from the fourth story window.

    Marinasongs1432
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The sasquatch, who watched Disney movies, picked me up, saying "don't worry about me. I'm just your bisexual monsterous friend!"

    #87

    I looked up to the night sky for the final time. I can't believe it's time to move on from this city.

    Report

    Destiny Harrison
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "We... We built... We built this city on Rock and Roll."

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Until a haunting voice comes down from above..... "You must construct additional pylons"

    kallee the frog
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    but the rebel fights were getting closer. we didn't have much time on earth. I took a deep breath, and climbed a biut clumsily into the spaceship, ruining the moment spectaularly.

    HorseMuse
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The sky is a available everywhere you live! Stop being dramatic!

    Gilmore Girls
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, not a city. Something built in the stars. Stars Hollow, to be exact. Leaving Connecticut for England.

    #88

    I opened my favorite game and was banned. The ban had no reason.

    Report

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Getting banned sucked. Them using an image of a bar of Ban deodorant to get the point across hurt worse. But what hurt the worst? My PC began laughing then gagging.

    Federico Guerrero-Isaza
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I thought so, but it turns out they found that I was the one that hacked the game to replace every picture with Shrek. But still, why would they ban me?

    #89

    "Dammit," I groaned as I felt myself get stuck in the washing machine. "Stepbro, I'm home!"

    Report

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "I really f*****g hate living in the Pornhub universe."

    ᔑᓵᒷ 𝙹⎓ ᓭ!¡ᔑ↸ᒷᓭ
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    but low and behold, you got the good ending! where your stepbrother helped you out without anything sexual happened, and you ate pizza.

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    Federico Guerrero-Isaza
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When he saw that I somehow got my entire body trapped inside the washing machine, curled up like a piece of paper, he turned on the washing machine.

    #90

    Wait, I remember you

    Report

    Federico Guerrero-Isaza
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    no ... hold on, that was somebody else. sorry for your inconvenience.

    chimken 🇺🇦
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You were the one who didn’t cry in cooking class! *attacks*

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No, you only think you do. Your brain is in the process of forgetting so, ironically, everything seems familiar. Soon you won't even remember this conversation. You'll just have a vague idea of some lifeline to something important was just there but is now gone. But even that hollow feeling will soon be swallowed up by the amnesia. Then you, and all you ever were....will be a mere concept. A formula that failed to launch. Maybe....maybe next time you'll get it right. Good luck.

    kallee the frog
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "you... you were my highschool crush! I kissed you when you were drunk af, remember?" he stared. "umm, not really..."

    Jacob Frey
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "But you don't remember me, do you?" I asked, trying to gauge whether the brainwashing still held.

    #91

    I came here to do what must be done. And nothing is gonna stop me.

    Report

    Anna Chen
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "That's fine, but please take a moment to do your English homework. You don't want to go to the next level without learning proper spelling and vocabulary."

    Gilmore Girls
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Except for that falling tree. FALLING TREE??!!

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Welcome to Mad Cow and Bull Insemination Clinic, or McBic as we lovingly call it. I'll be your milker today!"

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    #92

    "What about no trolls left behind? Dad??"

    Report

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Trolls are what grow from being left behind. So pick up the pace or I'll go make you live with your brother under this bridge." "I...I don't have a-" "EX-F*****G-ACTLY!!"

    kallee the frog
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "don't worry, son," he assured me, but his mouth was working, and i could hear his jaw cracking. "it's all under control."

    #93

    No, this was wrong. What was I doing?

    Report

    chimken 🇺🇦
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It was SUMMER. I didn’t need to eat hot soup outside!

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, I set out to masturbate but....somehow I'm basting a turkey I don't remember buying with a baster I KNOW I definitely didn't buy. So maybe I should, at this junction, just kinda stop asking questions. Whatever's afoot; I'm too neck deep in it now.

    kallee the frog
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i gave up on my thoughts and slit his throat, the blood of my lover coating my clothes.

    Evie Denen
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why am I putting this pineapple on this pizza?

    #94

    i don't want to do this. i am doing this.

    Report

    kallee the frog
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    resigning all thoughts of doubt, i stepped into his bedroom.

    Succulent
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Time for dinner! I yelleded at my younger brother

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    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "So, that's the title of my novel about working retail. I kinda hit writers block after that though. I didn't plan my schedule with mini breakdowns in mind from having to remember just exactly how much s**t I've eaten over the course of my life."

    #95

    I am now outdoors. Is it okay now?

    Report

    Roseriver_DSMP
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He shook his head. "No...? There's a literal apocalypse caused by a madman trying to blow everything up including L'manburg. Eret- no wait. Is that Wilbur Soot?"

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Outdoors is a myth being peddled by big-Simulation.

    kallee the frog
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "yes, i guess," he laughed, the, suprising me, he kissed me. "what was that for?" i gasped. "i want you," he growled.

    aceofspades
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    then, as quick as the flash, i stabbed him in the chest 27 times, and as he was dying, i spoke to him. "39 buried, now it's 40." that's what he gets for believing i led him out here for a make out session.

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    #96

    This was it, the moment I'd been waiting forever for. He was the one!

    Report

    kallee the frog
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    his eyes drilled into mine as we leaned in for a kiss. when his lips touched mine, the world exploded. I moved my lips against his, first unsure, than gaining more confidence and passion. his hands explored my body. It was only when I heard a gasp i realized his girlfriend had walked into the room. hey guys, comment on mine and try finnish?

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Which was terrifying....dolls aren't supposed to walk at all.

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    Queen Ifunanya
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The petty thief who snatched my wallet in the busy market! The police had finally arrested him and retrieved my possessions from him.

    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sorry, accidentally posted twice. Funky internet

    HorseMuse
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The one to play my Romeo in the school play…

    #97

    Alexandra didn't want to go to that birthday party, but Mary stole her parents' car and went to pick her up. There was a traditional engagement ceremony across the street, when the two arrived.

    Report

    Federico Guerrero-Isaza
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They had to spend nine hours watching Sesame Street with their portable generator, then they did the Macarena.

    #98

    I screamed as the man in the mask slowly walked towards me, a knife raised above his head, watching me trapped in the corner of the room. As he was just about to stab me, I said, ¨

    Report

    foofoofloofy
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Uno reverse!" Suddenly I had the knife. I stabbed him with it and put his entrails in a sub.

    HorseMuse
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Are you havin’ a laugh?

    Destiny Harrison
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "You've had something in the corner of your mouth this whole time."

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Uh... fly's unzipped and may I just say...NICE d**k!" Nobody can resist that look down, and it was all I needed to show him who the better killer is.

    kallee the frog
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "look behind you," quietly. he sneered, and a shiver ran down my spine. "behind you!" i insisted with more urgency. he finaly turned, and that was all i needed. a swift uppercut to the jaw gave me the sound of bones cracking, and i smiled as he tumbled to the floor. but i wasn't quite out of danger yet.

    Jacob Frey
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Watch out for that anvil" I warned. "Do you expect me to fall for that old trick? Are you serious?" He asked. I was.

    #99

    Meow.

    Report

    Ayodele Oluwayemisi Esther
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As I woke up this morning, how to have a fulfilled day was the thought that kept flowing through my mind. My access to various comments on this site, alongside the privilege to contribute my quota, assured me of a fulfilled day.

    Jacob Frey
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I tried to explain to them one more time the cat got my tongue.

    Gilmore Girls
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You had food 1 blimming sec ago cat!!

    Succulent
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I said. Suddenly everyone stared at me imitating my cat

    chimken 🇺🇦
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    “Kara, for the last time, you’re NOT A CAT.”

    Benjamin Brogan
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Meow sir, listen to the sound of meow voice.

    David Henry
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You deserve this ancient cat curse. It is an absolute mental space invader. Non-OP? Then you've been warned. I want chicken, I want liver. Meow Mix, Meow Mix please deliver. I want chicken, I want liver. Meow Mix, Meow Mix please deliver. I want chicken, I want liver. Meow Mix, Meow Mix please deliver.

    Beth Morgan
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    #104 The plane took flight. As she looked at the land shrinking below her, she wondered if he had lived, or died..?

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