I don’t envy anyone. I’m very happy with my life.
I envy people who don't have an anxiety disorder. My biggest wish is to just be able to look forward to something without that feeling being partially clouded by anxiety. "What if... what if....what if...." Things that make me happy can only make me as happy as my anxiety allows. There is always a sense of fear that something I said or didn't say, did or didn't do, wanted or didn't want, could lead to disaster.
I envy anybody and everybody who is physically able to stand on their feet busting their a*s working 8+ hours every day. I physically can’t handle that. I’ve tried, more than once… Eats me up. I envy those who don’t have the mental disorders that I do, anxiety was already mentioned by someone else but that hit home, I envy those who don’t deal with that, depression, ADHD (that makes things so complicated for me and can scramble my brain at times), and autism. I don’t officially have it, but I speculate I do, I think I might be on the spectrum and I’m gonna get tested to find out for sure. But why do I think I might have it? All my mental disorders, the way that they make me. Being in special Ed while I was in school. I envy those who can’t relate to any of this, those whose brains actually function normally. I envy these people so much…
I don't actually envy one singular person, but I do envy one type of person and that's a beautiful person. Yes, I have friends and family who will tell me I'm cute or I'm pretty, and I very much appreciate that and am very grateful, but I want to feel as good as the beautiful people feel. I envy the girls in summer-inspo photos and couple-goal posts on instagram. I'm a sucker for the romance and I'm a sucker for believing what the media tells me when it says I'm missing out. I'm definitely envious of rich people... I mean kind of. I envy the fact that they never have to worry about where their next meal is coming from or if they can keep their family safe with security gadgets and junk. To be able to afford a safe, happy, healthy lifestyle is kind of a fantasy of mine... but it's something I envy in others, hardcore. I envy the people who get to work for a living... the people who aren't disabled who don't have to struggle with food stamps. I could go on.
What traits do they have that I don't?
As far as the beautiful people go, I would say they have the physical appeal and charisma that I certainly lack. That's about it for them. The working class is able to work, they're even called "Abods" or Able-Bodied, also they have the ability to prove their worth by being integrated into society and I don't have that opportunity just yet. I hope to, but as of writing this... I don't have that chance just yet. Don't get me started on the rich - the traits they have that I don't are simple ones. They're good looking, good feeling, confident, charismatic, smart, and did I mention rich? They have the means to not worry as much. They can buy their worries away... they simply have money and that's not a trait, sure, but it's something.
I envy the people who know what they’re doing with their lives, people who have a (big) goal to work towards, who are good at things. I just feel like I’m stumbling around, not really doing anything worthwhile with my life
I feel like this a lot. I work a commission job and so my work is literally just writing mostly the same content day in and out... and it's all routine and nothing to really look forward to. I don't really desire to go on a big trip or to make special plans, so what really is there?
Turtles i can go at my own pace and live a very long relaxed life
I feel the same exact way about snails (minus the long life, though snails can live fully happy lives)!
people who still are happy. people whos parents dont fight. people who dont have constant anxiety. people who want to live. people who arent sad all the time. people who want to talk. people who arent destroying their relationships. people who loves themself. people who have good supporting friends who dont use them as a tool. so basically everyone
It always hurts my heart to see people feeling the way I once felt and sometimes still do... I understand this completely, but I do want to throw out there that this life is temporary and all these troubles will be nothing compared to whatever greatness you eventually feel lead to perform. Reflect on the good: what are your positive traits and how do they make you stand out from others with those same traits? Once you learn you are worthy of love, the rest will fall in line. It will be okay!
I envy anyone who isn’t suffering from an eating disorder and has better mental health than me.
I've been diagnosed with EDNOS so I feel this tremendously. Recovery is available and allowed, though. I learned the hard way that I have to allow myself to receive the opportunities that are given to me. It's like receiving compliments - I gotta learn to accept that it's okay to take them, they're for me... just like my life, it's for me. ♥
