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Hey Pandas, What’s The Worst Motivational Thing Your Workplace Ever Did?
At some point, every workplace tries to “motivate” staff and sometimes it goes very, very wrong. Whether it was a sad pizza party, a patronising poster, or an email that missed the mark entirely, we want to see the worst attempts at workplace motivation. Bonus points if it somehow replaced a pay rise.
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"In this company we treat you like family"
My family is tox1c and dysfunctional, scarred by domestic violence, addictions, narcissist patterns, mental illness and trans-generational traumas. I really don't need a second "family" like that 😄
They tried to discover our "Motivational Value Sets" - some psychobabble nonsense about whether one is motivated by leadership, caring, or thoughtfulness. Three problems: 1) As an introvert, I didn't want anyone probing my psyche 2) I'm actually motivated by knowledge, humour and honesty 3) We had just had a merger, so they thought it was a good idea to mix and match people from different places. One exercise was to place where we thought other people belonged on the chart. I didn't know where to place a colleague who I'd known for 10 years, let alone people who I'd first met an hour ago - and I got very stressed about the thought of other people judging me. Eventually, many years later, they realised that such things should be kept among people who actually worked together, and weren't suitable for socialising. It destroyed the relationship with my new bosses, who turned in into a disciplinary issue. Fortunately a later boss let me talk to someone who discovered why it was stressful and how to cope with future situations.
Instaid of giving us a bonus or present at the end of the year, we instead got to chose a charity in the year after to which they would donate money. It had to be in the village and related to the job. Mind you they can reclaim the money by filing it as work expense in taxes, so it didn't cost them anything. They were actually excited to tell us. After we handed them a big present. Yeah they sucked
For me, the worst thing an employer did was to give us some mission statement and values (always complete bullshot anyway) which included trying to develop an "entrepreneurial mindset". In my world, an entrepreneur is a money-grabbing middle-man who brings nothing of value to a business. So I could see no way in which this was a good thing.
I carried on for a year or three more but the whole culture had shifted more and more in that direction and I left eventually, kinda took an unofficial (very) early retirement..
We did really well, exceeded our targets, and our reward was...
...a single croissant.
I served as the faculty representative on a high school's board of trustees. At the last meeting before Teacher Appreciation Week arrived, five board members volunteered to bring treats for the teachers that week, one each day. Teacher Appreciation Week came, and zero of those board members showed. Not one. At the next board meeting, there were no apologies. In fact, not even any acknowledgement of a failed promise. No mention at all.
I work in health care. During Covid they mailed those of us that were still coming to work an insulated water bottle with a sheet of company logo stickers.
To help motivate everyone "positively", they announced they were going to institute a new policy. Certain projects were going to be classified as "critical". Anyone working on such a project who met the deadline got some kind of a bonus. Those who did not would simply get fired.
This was at a software development company. Our projects were usually many months long at the shortest. Longest was four years. It's very difficult to meet a deadline exactly when it was set 3 1/2 years earlier. (Many things can change in that time.) Software development is notoriously difficult to estimate. Every company, every team, for the past few decades has discovered this fact.
But the worst part is that they weren't going to tell anyone which projects were critical.
Then not long after, they told everyone that they all had to work Saturdays. Mind you, these were salaried workers, many putting in 55+ hours already and not getting paid any overtime. Regardless of how many hours you put in during the week, they were going to require working Saturdays. (The company was really bad about assuming everyone who worked there had a little house s***e at home to take care of everything there, like childcare, dropping kids off and picking them up, etc.)
