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At some point, every workplace tries to “motivate” staff and sometimes it goes very, very wrong. Whether it was a sad pizza party, a patronising poster, or an email that missed the mark entirely, we want to see the worst attempts at workplace motivation. Bonus points if it somehow replaced a pay rise.

#1

We did really well, exceeded our targets, and our reward was...

...a single croissant.

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    #2

    They tried to discover our "Motivational Value Sets" - some psychobabble nonsense about whether one is motivated by leadership, caring, or thoughtfulness. Three problems: 1) As an introvert, I didn't want anyone probing my psyche 2) I'm actually motivated by knowledge, humour and honesty 3) We had just had a merger, so they thought it was a good idea to mix and match people from different places. One exercise was to place where we thought other people belonged on the chart. I didn't know where to place a colleague who I'd known for 10 years, let alone people who I'd first met an hour ago - and I got very stressed about the thought of other people judging me. Eventually, many years later, they realised that such things should be kept among people who actually worked together, and weren't suitable for socialising. It destroyed the relationship with my new bosses, who turned in into a disciplinary issue. Fortunately a later boss let me talk to someone who discovered why it was stressful and how to cope with future situations.

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    #3

    Instaid of giving us a bonus or present at the end of the year, we instead got to chose a charity in the year after to which they would donate money. It had to be in the village and related to the job. Mind you they can reclaim the money by filing it as work expense in taxes, so it didn't cost them anything. They were actually excited to tell us. After we handed them a big present. Yeah they sucked

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    Ace
    Community Member
    Premium
    50 minutes ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You can only claim the amount donated against tax, which means they don't pay tax on it, but they absolutely do not get any money back from the taxman, so it does in fact cost them something like 80% (assuming UK corporation tax) of the total.

    #4

    For me, the worst thing an employer did was to give us some mission statement and values (always complete bullshot anyway) which included trying to develop an "entrepreneurial mindset". In my world, an entrepreneur is a money-grabbing middle-man who brings nothing of value to a business. So I could see no way in which this was a good thing.

    I carried on for a year or three more but the whole culture had shifted more and more in that direction and I left eventually, kinda took an unofficial (very) early retirement..

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    #5

    "In this company we treat you like family"

    My family is tox1c and dysfunctional, scarred by domestic violence, addictions, narcissist patterns, mental illness and trans-generational traumas. I really don't need a second "family" like that 😄

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