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Hey Pandas, What’s The Worst Motivational Thing Your Workplace Ever Did?
At some point, every workplace tries to “motivate” staff and sometimes it goes very, very wrong. Whether it was a sad pizza party, a patronising poster, or an email that missed the mark entirely, we want to see the worst attempts at workplace motivation. Bonus points if it somehow replaced a pay rise.
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#1
We did really well, exceeded our targets, and our reward was...
...a single croissant.
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#2
They tried to discover our "Motivational Value Sets" - some psychobabble nonsense about whether one is motivated by leadership, caring, or thoughtfulness. Three problems: 1) As an introvert, I didn't want anyone probing my psyche 2) I'm actually motivated by knowledge, humour and honesty 3) We had just had a merger, so they thought it was a good idea to mix and match people from different places. One exercise was to place where we thought other people belonged on the chart. I didn't know where to place a colleague who I'd known for 10 years, let alone people who I'd first met an hour ago - and I got very stressed about the thought of other people judging me. Eventually, many years later, they realised that such things should be kept among people who actually worked together, and weren't suitable for socialising. It destroyed the relationship with my new bosses, who turned in into a disciplinary issue. Fortunately a later boss let me talk to someone who discovered why it was stressful and how to cope with future situations.
#3
Instaid of giving us a bonus or present at the end of the year, we instead got to chose a charity in the year after to which they would donate money. It had to be in the village and related to the job. Mind you they can reclaim the money by filing it as work expense in taxes, so it didn't cost them anything. They were actually excited to tell us. After we handed them a big present. Yeah they sucked
#4
For me, the worst thing an employer did was to give us some mission statement and values (always complete bullshot anyway) which included trying to develop an "entrepreneurial mindset". In my world, an entrepreneur is a money-grabbing middle-man who brings nothing of value to a business. So I could see no way in which this was a good thing.
I carried on for a year or three more but the whole culture had shifted more and more in that direction and I left eventually, kinda took an unofficial (very) early retirement..
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