I'll go first: I am a person made of anxiety and ADHD, pills and supplements, and a record streak of three days without tears. But I am also a person of a lot of hard work. You can post anything, good or bad. I really need to get my head in a space where I feel confident independently. However, I am making a lot of progress in that, and I am very proud of myself! Say anything you want to say to a bunch of strangers on the internet.
No judgment here.
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I'm tired. I always am and I have been for a very long time now. Part of me just wants to give up on everything. I can't take much more.
I get it. I've always found that there's not much I ca really think to say to people who feel down. I guess I just want to say that I am sorry, and I am sending my support!
I am very shy, and I feel so trapped. I feel like I'm always struggling to keep the little attention from friends and teachers I have, and whenever I try to speak up it feels wrong. I want to be an artist and inspire people one day (I drew my own profile pic!), but it seems like I'll never be brave enough to put my stuff out there.
I am an artist myself! I hope to be an architect someday, but I'm currently still in my last year of middle school. Inspiration is a delicate feeling thing. I'm sorry you feel like you're too shy. For the record, your profile pic looks GREAT, and I think you're an outstanding artist! For the friends and teachers dilemma, I can't relate as much because I personally am very loud, but I have felt isolated before. I'm sorry that you feel trapped, that feeling is the worst! I wish I could help! Just know, that I, a complete stranger on the internet, believe in you (and your art!).
My illness is progressing and I'm stopping treatment. I'll ride out what time I have left.
I hate myself for so many things. It feels like I'm letting everyone down. Like everyone hates my existence. I'm not good enough. I hate that my parents make me have therapy, but it truly doesn't help. I have medicine that I don't want to take. I'm forced to have a religion.
I want people to understand what I'm feeling. Because of my disabilities my parents don't think I can handle things. I'm not allowed to go anywhere by myself, despite being in the late teens. I want to date who I'd like. I want my privacy. I want to cry without being made fun of. I want to dress the way I'd like to. To have friends of any kind. I hate that I suck at talking; communication in general. I hate that I can't go a single day without hating myself. I want to be okay. I want to live a life where I'm not taken advantage of, bullied, forced to do things, love who I want, & express my feelings. I want my family to not be poor. I want to help people. I want everyone to be okay, to not have any struggles, to live their lives the fullest.
ty ...I needed to let this out :)
I feel you! Life sucks sometimes. This is a lot. I'm so sorry you're feeling this way! I wish I could help.
I’m holding back things from my therapist that I should tell her. Like how I hurt myself and how I actually feel. All because I want to feel cured.
Please tell your therapist what you just shared with us. Trust me when I say, you aren't going to shock them, and they won't judge you because they've heard it before from someone else - probably many, many times. There's no point in going to therapy if you aren't telling them everything, and there is a HUGE difference between wanting to feel cured, and actually being "cured". You can do this.
I have chronic physical and mental health problems but have been engaging once a week with my psychologist for more than a year. It's the most I've ever spoken about myself and we're discovering allsorts and processing them as we go. So far, so good.
We recently discovered that I am in a controlling and abusive marriage. I don't know what to do. Do I love her? The honest answer is I don't know. I understand the concept of love, I just don't know how to identify it or what it feels like. I think I do but who really knows? So now I am just so confused and afraid.
Thanks for reading and thanks OP for the opportunity to share my experiences. It feels better getting out there, I guess.
Scagsy, I hope the idea of writing that down and someone reading it really does help you somehow. I wish there was something more "substantial“ I could do for you, but unfortunately there isn‘t. I read it, I am very, very sorry for you, and I hope there will be a good solution for you!
No matter what I do I never feel good enough. I've been told I'm not good enough and I've felt like a terrible person for a long time. I've hurt myself and still, it hasn't helped me. How do other people just let themselves be hurt or kill themselves? It's not an option for me, I feel no release from it and I feel TRAPED. :(
what do i need to get off my chest? my boobs
*transmasc crying*
I feel like im overdramatic, needy, and just overall "LOOK AT ME!! LOOK AT ME!!" every time I show someone art. Even if im proud of it. I hate everytime i look in the mirror, feeling fat and stupid. I say things online (like: I AM A DEMON, I AM AN IDIOT MUAHAHAHAH) to make myself feel better. please, dont call me attention seeking if i beat myself up like that. and PLEASE. NO 'nooo your beautiful!! dont let anyone tell you otherwise!' because IM the one thinking it. NOT other people.
I f*****g hate my dad, but i love him at the same time. he'll call me useless, threaten to kick me out of the house, invalidate my feelings, and on ocassion, he'll hit me. but he always apologizes, and we do a lot of fun stuff together. i dont feel he'll accept his little girl is actually a polyromantic demigirl with their lovely nb S/O, and i'm not sure how to tell him without getting grounded or in trouble in some way.
I'm sorry you're going through that! I really think you should tell people that your dad hits you
My parents won’t let me grow up. They constantly want me to take on more responsibility but hold back the freedom. For example, I had to wait until my sophomore year of HS to get a debit card. My brother got one at the same time! He was in 7th grade folks.
I feel like I can never talk about my past. I didn’t really talk about anything from before I was 7 and then from 5th grade on. My brother and mom have constantly said that didn’t happen or you’re lying but in reality I’m not. I had some trauma I didn’t realize was there until a few years ago and I feel like I can’t talk about it with them. I do with my counselor tho.
I’m actually super not confident in school. I constantly doubt my abilities and it’s reflecting my grades and it’s scaring me. I really need to do well but my brain isn’t allowing me
I think I have misophonia but I haven’t told my parents yet.
My anxiety is raging and I can’t stop it.
Sorry. That was a lot. Thanks for having a safe place for me to vent Pandas
Of course! I'm so sorry you're dealing with that! Being a kid if the hardest age, and I'm not as old as you are yet, but it sounds rough! I really hope things get better!
I f*****g hate my mom. She’s always had a no crying or anger rule since I was in KINDERGARTEN AND I WAS EXPECTED TO STOP CRYING AFTER LIKE 2 SECONDS! My dad also does this. The only reason I still like my dad is because he does make up for it. My mom on the other hand is a Karen b***h who complains about walking on eggshells and that me and my sister have attitudes and are selfish when she is like that! Oh also she gets to be angry and cry.
And it’s because of this…
I started “punishing” myself for crying and being angry by digging under my skin with my nails and scratching until I bleed.
I don’t want a therapist because the last time I told my old school counsellor about my mild anxiety she told my parents and I couldn’t trust her after that.
I feel like my best friend is pulling away from me but I can’t just go to their house because they live in the USA.
I’m afraid everyone secretly judges and talks s**t about me because I’m prone to breaking down under stress (from not being allowed to cry or be angry and therefore never learned proper emotional management)
I feel like my time as a child/teen is going by way too fast now that I look back at the years because I’ve only got 4 more years before university and I just wanna go back in time and chill there
I'm sorry. Sometimes, I really don't understand my parents either. But not to that level! I completely agree that the crying and anger rule is incredibly stupid and counter effective! You have a lot to let out! One thing I do is I do art, and express my anger and frustration that way (though the activity sounds mundane) it helps. Maybe you could try finding an outlet?
Dear everyone at school besides that one teacher and my friend: F**k you.
sorry
... won't get much better anywhere else, but, yeah, school sucked big time in my time, and unless it has changed a lot, still does. A damaging institution meant to transform young, curious and bright people into economically exploitable braindead obedient consumation units that - no more "who" - don't even care about themselves.
I’m bi and I have a crush on my best friend but no one knows but I can’t bring myself to tell anyone… it hurts every time she talks about her crush who also has a crush on her but I’ll play along with it because it makes her happy. She’s bi too so I’m hoping maybe I’ll have a chance to at least tell her in the future and it won’t ruin our friendship, but I just need to tell someon but there’s no one I can.
(Also just to clarify so there’s no confusion; they know I’m bi but not my crush and it’s killing me)
Oof, I felt this so hard. Honestly the best thing you can do is just try to move on. If you need to, maybe step back a bit in the friendship. I know from experience that this can be hard to do not only because you don't wan't to do that to a friend but also because just being around them makes you feel good, but if it comes to that it might be a good idea.
I have this absolutely psychotic teacher that I’m trying to get fired. She’s made multiple kids cry but the most recent thing to happen was when she made a kid try to self harm with a pencil. So she starts the first period off telling us about her life; we hardly learn anything at all. Apparently, she learned that week that she was partially deaf in one ear; because of this, everybody now has to speak into a microphone. Her microphone coincidentally stopped working, which made everybody laugh. She got really annoyed with this and started shouting about how if she was in a wheelchair we wouldn’t be laughing at her and how some disabilities people weren’t able to see, like how she was deaf. Then one poor confused kid (we’ll call him James) said QUIETLY to his friend, “wait I thought deaf meant that you couldn’t hear at all?” She completely EXPLODED with this making the girl next to James clutch her ears. “Are you mocking me?!? How dare you! I said on the first day of school that my biggest pet peeve was people mocking me that sort of bullsh*t really p*sses me off!” Then she said “everybody out! Except you James you stay!” Then everybody goes outside unsupervised (illegal) while we hear screaming and shouting inside. When we’re allowed back in, James is hunched up crying; later he stabs himself (not vital) with a pencil and the counselors are called. This is the worst occasion, other kids have been able to handle it but there are almost always tears. After this happened, she failed the entire class with a nonexistent assignment worth 100 points (after many parent and student accusations this was corrected) This teacher often refuses to come to work, she calls out sick but tells us she just didn’t feel like coming that week. The same goes for grading assignments. She’ll put it off until the end of the quarter because she “didn’t feel like doing it then” Please help me get her fired, I’m scared she’ll target me next as I have spoken to the counselors about her before. She’ll take a kid outside, do SOMETHING, make them promise not to tell anyone about their time outside, and leave them to return to the classroom in tears when she’s angry with someone. She works at mesa verde middle school and is an around 60 year old woman who catfishes on TikTok and instagram(has about 100 followers on TikTok) though this is unrelated. Once again, please help me get her fired, I’m not allowed to reveal her name but I just need to know what to write in an email to the principal or the board.
Honestly just write what you wrote here. Maybe clean it up a bit in terms of grammar and make it a bit more polite (keep the angry tone tho) and you should be golden.
I feel like I killed someone. In middle school, I got meningitis and was hospitalized. I live in a very rural area, so it took too long to get to the hospital, and I was really struggling to stay alive and conscious. While I was in extreme pain just after getting a Lumbar puncture(which took 7 tries), I received a text in a group chat with my friends that a 16 year old student(we'll call them A), who was best friends with one of my friends, had a heart attack and their brain was without oxygen for a long time. I somehow knew at this moment that only one of us would survive. While I was trying to keep conscious, I swore I saw A. We were in a huge gray field. We kinda started wrestling,, and eventually I pinned them down. I pushed them as hard as possible towards the ground, and they disappeared. I recovered enough to partially sit up soon after, and just then I received a text saying A had in the hospital I was in. When I was able to get back in school, my friend who had been A's friend was extremely depressed. I still feel like I killed A, and I'm afraid that A's friend might also unalive theirself.
I'm thinking about leaving my partner of 15yrs. He feels me pulling away, so he's being more like the person I fell for. It hurts that I had to pull away for him to stop being an a*s. I'm tired of hurting, tired of my hurting not mattering, tired of him ignoring problems until they go away. He makes me feel like I'm the problem, so maybe I should just go away. I don't know how much more I have in me to keep trying.
This has been on my mind for several months, and it is a major contributor to my current depression. I've been on meds for about 2 months. Calmer anxiety has given me a chance to really think. I've been able to open up to some people I trust to get different perspectives. Consensus is I'm not crazy and they don't like seeing me hurting. Conversations with a friend who has seen more of our relationship than anyone else has given me some perspective. My partner is controlling, emotionally invalidates me, I will always have to give more than I get, and he will never change for me in the ways that I need. This relationship no longer meets my needs. I do not want a relationship like that. Our lives are very entwined, it will be my most complicated breakup. I haven't fully accepted it, I still hope I'm wrong.
I absolutely hate my job. I left from a great office and felt like it was specifically because I went from somewhere so great to somewhere else. But I am constantly left out of any conversations or lunches with other staff in the office. I don't want to be here anymore.
I'm so sorry! I understand the feeling of exclusion! I really hope things get better, or, even better, you end up in a place where you feel included :)
My family is not supportive of the LGBTQIA+ community. I, unfortunately, have gone through tons of identities and still might have to find a better label someday. I hate having to hold in all my feelings, opinions, and relations with the community. So, I'll come out here! I'm Asexual (More specifically Apothisexual, sex repulsed), Lesbian (I just melt when I meet cute girls), and Lithromantic (Which basically means that I feel romantic attraction, but if the person I like reciprocates those feelings, or is like "Oh yeah, let's be in a romantic reltionship, then." My feelings POOF.) There! I'm out of one of my many closets that i've yet to come out of! 😊🏳️🌈
Good for you! I also came out on this website before even coming out to my friends. And I get the feeling of having to stifle how you feel about things. Seems to me that we're on similar parts of our journeys and I wish you the best of luck!
Im a female presenting person covered in tattoos and who has brightly colored hair (at the moment it’s blue). Im tired of people over sexualizing me.
I hate that people make assumptions about me like I’ll hook up with them and then become angry when I don’t match up to their preconceived notions of me.
It just hurts me so much and makes me want to close myself off to people
I hate myself. I stopped eating for ages and I started scratching my skin with glass, I still do those things now and I don’t know how to stop. My anxiety is just everywhere for me.
Sorry but thanks for letting me vent 💖
I've been through these things before, and trust me when I say it gets better. You are not a bad person, and there is a community for you somewhere. Please hang in there, get a snack, bandage up your scars, and remember: someone out there either cares or will care. Someone would miss you if you were gone. You are important and have potential for great things.
The whole Karen meme is tiring. I feel like going through life named Karen is like having a dark rain cloud over me. I wish people would consider this.
It must be very annoying. Sorry for you. I don't know if this helps, or if I'm adding insult to injury, but maybe try to consider it's more of an age thing? Meaning whoever came up with this whole Karen thing must have been young, and chosen a name that occurs only in the older generations... it does NOT mean a character trait, it's just a coincidence that the kind of people it refers to is roughly in the same age group your name occurs in... We do a similar thing in my native language (German), some more old-fashioned names are used as an insult.
That my father is and always has been a narcissistic manipulator. I had no voice nor self worth growing up. Everything was either his way or the highway, even though he was never there for us growing up. The times he was there, was only to scold and force us into "line" with his ideals. Im 28, live overseas, and through his manipulation no one but him and a terrible aunt speak with me. I know this is more a secret, but it's something I've been wanting to tell people for a long time and only ever hint at so no one goes," Poor you, I'm glad you're in a better place!". Those words mean nothing, even though they are also true.
That my father is and always has been a narcissistic manipulator. I had no voice nor self worth growing up. Everything was either his way or the highway, even though he was never there for us growing up. The times he was there, was only to scold and force us into "line" with his ideals. Im 28, live overseas, and through his manipulation no one but him and a terrible aunt speak with me. I know this is more a secret, but it's something I've been wanting to tell people for a long time and only ever hint at so no one goes," Poor you, I'm glad you're in a better place!". Those words mean nothing, even though they are also true.
If the government can just print money, why do I have to pay taxes?
Kinda hoping this gets lost, but anywho
I just turned 18 last week and I'm (#-$+($) scared. I don't feel mentally mature enough to adult. I can barely go into Versona and buy a shirt without having to spend the rest of the afternoon trying not to lose my mind. (Happened Sunday... Anxiety attack sounds too dramatic for what happened but it was overwhelming for no reason.) I don't know what I want to do with my life after highschool and the thought of picking a major then hateing it is terrifying. I don't want to go learn something I love learning about then not being able to get a job with it, and i dont want to learn about something i hate then get a job i deplore. I'm scared of getting stuck and it's paralyzing me. I almost wish someone would just tell me what to do so at least I could go do it and not worry about what if I messed up. There's so many directions I could go. It's overwhelming. I know people keep telling me that Its ok, I don't have to know right now, but I feel like that is total bs. If I go and change my mind ten times, it wastes my time and money. I don't want to let my family down. I know that I'm set up to be the family disappointment, that's just how my life goes, but I don't want to let them down but I don't know what to do.
Its too much c**p that I don't feel ready to handle. But I don't have a choice.
End of the day, I'm terrified. Just flat out terrified and I don't want to tell anyone because this isn't something they can help with. This is me being flawed and imperfect.
No one I've ever known has had a clear direction of what they wanted for themselves at 18. No one. Maybe you're thinking that if you pick a path or make a choice, you'll hate it and be unhappy or "stuck". That's only partially true. You may indeed choose to do something that you end up not liking - we all do, and that's very normal. But you just choose a different path and try that. Set smaller goals. Try just thinking about the year ahead, instead of the next 5 or 10. Take small steps. And I'll tell you something else - don't let the fear of disappointing your family hold you down. Ultimately, this is YOUR life, not theirs, and you have every right to live it for yourself!
I find myself so done with everything so often. I don’t want to talk. I don’t want to interact. Just seeing some people’s faces makes me angry! And I find myself say “I don’t even care” about things I should.
I am completely insane and depressed, I have no idea for the future and I’m a complete phycopath, sociopath and masacist
Ok, this is completely light hearted. I was playing a game, and you can chat with other people in the game. me and this one person were being nice to each other and having an actual conversation, and we were friends! Then they had to go. For some reason I was actually kind of sad??? Like, I will never meet this person and we communicated it "ya" "ok" "lol". like- what is wrong with me?
can you downvote me now
I'm too scared to leave the house anymore because of my anxiety. I'm really scared of throwing up in front of people- like EXTREMELY scared. i get panic attacks at school because i can't escape. i don't eat as much as i used to because of it. im probably switching to online school and leaving all of my classmates (who are amazing, by the way). my grandpa's 75th birthday party is tonight and I'm really scared to go because it's an hour long drive there and back. i have a speech presentation coming up and I'm so scared for it. life is super stressful and i haven't been able to enjoy the things i used to love. I could use your prayers or virtual hugs and support. when times get tough I've been turning to youtube and boredpanda more and more because it stops me from thinking. i am more comfortable telling a bunch of strangers on the internet these things than the people around me, because it's embarrassing and yeah. i have told my parents and some of my closest friends. they support me
I'm too scared to leave the house anymore because of my anxiety. I'm really scared of throwing up in front of people- like EXTREMELY scared. i get panic attacks at school because i can't escape. i don't eat as much as i used to because of it. im probably switching to online school and leaving all of my classmates (who are amazing, by the way). my grandpa's 75th birthday party is tonight and I'm really scared to go because it's an hour long drive there and back. i have a speech presentation coming up and I'm so scared for it. life is super stressful and i haven't been able to enjoy the things i used to love. I could use your prayers or virtual hugs and support. when times get tough I've been turning to youtube and boredpanda more and more because it stops me from thinking. i am more comfortable telling a bunch of strangers on the internet these things than the people around me, because it's embarrassing and yeah. i have told my parents and some of my closest friends. they support me
