Tell us about your most challenging moments; emotionally, physically, or mentally. Was it worth it?

#1

Stopped a car from the passenger seat because the driver died while we were going down the road. Stopping the car was hard, the hardest part was that the driver was my husband.

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Caro Caro
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So sorry for your loss. I hope you have found peace and healing. Hugs Jaguarundi.

AK to LV
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm so sorry for your loss.

April Dancer
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That was truly brave beyond compare. Hugs and sympathy from all of us.

lil bear bear
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry that happen to you * sending virtual hug *

Devil'sAdvocate
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i'm so sorry. no one should have to do that. you are brave.

RELATED:
    #2

    I held my father's hand as he died, in May of 2021. I was the only one who stayed with him. My mom and sister "couldn't handle it" and they abandoned him around 8pm. I held his hand, talked to him, and listened to oldies music with him until he took his last breath at 3:17am. I told him it was okay to go, that he would finally be free of pain. It was the hardest thing I've ever done, and yet I am so happy I was able to be there with him.

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    Caro Caro
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sorry for your loss. That was a sweet and brave thing to do. I know how hard it is .... HUGS.

    Powerful Katrinka
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I got into bed with my mother-in-law, held her in my arms, and sang "You Are My Sunshine" when she was dying. Her two sons were out getting drunk because they "couldn't handle it." Hard, but but it felt right.

    Stormcrowe
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I did the same with my mamaw. *Hugs* I get the hardest but happy to be there

    Lostsocalgal
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    God BLESS YOU. I wish that I had done that for my Daddy. I was barely 20. The last thing he said to me was, ‘my precious, precious girl’ as I held his hand. I cry every time I think about that, 47 years ago.

    tara
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You are such a good 'child'. Your dad (and sister and mom) are so lucky to have you.

    Huddo's sister
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We did a similar thing when my eldest and youngest brothers died but whole family and friends gathered around. For my eldest, I was in the room right up until they came to take the intubator was switched off. I couldn't handle going back into the room when the nurse left and he died. For my youngest, we chose not to have him intubated at all, but was still a similar gathering.

    Monica Michelle
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Empathy and hugs. We did this for my dad last summer. A surreal experience.

    #3

    Elder care of my mother for 18 agonizing years.

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    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She was a survivor of both the Great Depression and World War II, which rendered her the most completely broken person I have ever known. The demands of the care itself broke me down early on as well, and hollowed out what would otherwise have been the most productive years of my professional career. And yet, it provided me with profound insights into the human condition that I would otherwise have never understood nor appreciated, and from that experience I think I emerged more completely human myself.

    Caro Caro
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your selfless act, love, care and sacrifice are heartwarming and wholesome. I love that you did this and are still so sweet and positive about it. Hugs.

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    censorshipsucks
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow that is hell. Props to you for being so brave.

    #4

    Have a baby. The exhaustion is crippling.

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    CMKL
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Definitely! My first came flying out like a freight train 30 minutes after my water broke, the nurses said I wasn't in labor, the amniotic fluid was trickling out because his head was so low. The Dr did an internal & walked away saying I'll be back, she barely got out the door when the baby decided enough was enough, Dr basically caught him. I was scheduled to be induced five hours after he was born. It took the 3hrs to fix his dramatic exit! The birth was 100% natural, the fix up I was practically knocked out! I have no idea why I turned around and did it two more times!

    Mel Schmidt
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Having a C~section and my son who was born premature was taken to the NCIU in a more equipped hospital. Not being able to bring him and get him dressed for the welcome home.

    censorshipsucks
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    yep, especially if it has colic or similar. Mine had reflux. Took weeks to figure out what was wrong. The best thing to do is rotating sleep shifts with your partner, if they are around.

    #5

    Standing up to my abusive stepfather. He was an alcoholic and an a*****e. It was scary as he was incredibly tall and physically intimidating. It made me ill and my mother never backed me on it (they stayed married) but I'm proud of myself

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    April Dancer
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me too. There may come a time when your mother wants to come back into your life. Deal with that in the way that feels best for you. Don't ever let her, or anyone else, make you feel guilty if you want to completely cut her out of your life.

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    Legless_snake
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m so glad you did that. Go you!

    Shelly Pettyiohn
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Jesus Christ is right beside you every minute and he sees your troubles God bless you and do not ever regret standing up for yourself

    #6

    Say my final farewells to my father. He passed after a lengthy battle with cancer. Next hardest is caring for my elderly mother.

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    Caro Caro
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sorry for your loss. How's your mum doing? Thank you for caring for her.

    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thanks. My mum has good days and bad days as we all do but I do my best to help her with whatever she needs.

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    K- THULU
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So sorry, It's the hardest thing, the last goodbye...... Even after 23 years, I'm not over my last night with my mum..... At least when my dad went, it was sudden, he just went in his sleep.... We all have to go through it, but It's never easy....

    Leo Domitrix
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah. Those both.... I send you a hug.

    #7

    Severed contact with my ex -girlfriend/ best friend so she could move to the other side of the country without feeling tied down, after my mum died.... She needed to focus on her future not our past.....

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    Caro Caro
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Aw, HUGS for you and promise to let me know how the tests turn out please :). X

    #8

    learn how to walk again after an 8 story fall that I somehow credit goes to God though

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    TailsFangirl03
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Woooh! Good for you and praise God!

    David Furritus
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just to be clear, are you giving credit to god for learning to walk or falling out of the building?

    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was suicidal back then I wanted to fall I was supposed to die, I had a 5% chance of survival and a less than 1% chance of regaining consciousness. I was supposed to either die or become a vegetable

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    censorshipsucks
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Credit goes to your physiotherapists and doctors, actually. If "God" was sooooo good, why did "he" let you fall out the window in the first place? I bet you "he" pushed you.

    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wanted to fall. I was suicidal I was supposed to die they told my parents to say their goodbyes but here I am I didn't die and I'm not in a vegetated state

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    #9

    Going to the police about someone who was stealing and harassing me and attempting to blackmail me. He was becoming more and more dangerous and not letting up. I had gone before but the police didn't care/ didn't follow up which was demoralizing. But... I knew... I needed to make them listen so after almost 6months later I called them again and again until finally I talked to someone who saw how dangerous it was. Previously I literally had an officer say "wow you must really be something to have a guy that into you, that's gotta count for something" after I showed them pictures he had sent of me in class earlier that day with a message about how he'd kill anyone who came near me... he wasn't a student at my university. It to so long but-- having a police officer look at a mountain of insanity (100+ one-sided texts a day, emails, phone calls, photos, detailed descriptions of how he would kill me and my dog and best friend etc-- things I had the time before) and actually listen to me and take things as a credible threat and not just "teenaged drama" meant so much to me. For him to be reprimanded (slap on the wrist but still)... i knew it was the right decision, I just wish they could have done it sooner, listened earlier and maybe I wouldn't have fallen apart as badly in the interim.

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    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Also-- for a little context-- between the first time i talked to them and the last time, he had gotten brazen enough that he had dragged me into an alley, slammed me into the bricks and wanted to have sex with me while holding me at knife point-- only thwarted by a pub having a camera in the alley and misreading the situation and telling us to go and me running like hell into the public square. Him cornering me on buses and squeezing me into inside seats and trying to feel me up, calling me a whore while showing photos taken from my bf's backyard of the back door being unlocked and my bf and I kissing-- essentially being like, if you make a sound I'll kill him and me... like barely 19, crying and trying to be quiet and terrified. Looking back... i don't know how i didn't break more than I did. I kept it a secret from so many-- i felt so much relief when he finally was arrested. Insane when you consider we dated for less than 4 months when I was 18-- it took until i was 22 until it was fully resolved and behind me with the last year and a half being court interactions.

    tara
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What a terrible thing!!! That sounds so scary! You must be really tough to have dealt with that.

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    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    *stalking not stealing. My phone apparently doesn't think stalking is a word and keeps autocorrecting.

    April Dancer
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well done to you for not giving in when the police weren't taking you seriously. As for him just getting a slapped wrist, that horrifies me, because that level of insanity will not end well.

    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The police officer i dealt with arrested him too late for a bail hearing on a long weekend-- a token of my gratitude. So he spent 4days in jail, then got community service and mandatory therapy and rehab-- for which he listed me as his primary contact so i got daily calls about his progress-- his gift to me. I got a year long peace agreement banning him from places I would be which resulted in him not being allowed to ride the bus anymore as three of the terminals were off limits-- i caught him once at one and he literally turned and ran. I'm not so petty that I would rat him out for it but-- seeing him genuinely look afraid for that brief moment... kinda helped make everything feel a bit better. I expected jail time though tbh. But-- i was nicer than i should have been in my witness statement. I just didn't want him to draw things out more than he already did.

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    Riley77
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    glad you are safe....sorry you went through all that

    censorshipsucks
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel really bad for you, but thank your lucky stars you aren't in my country. The cops only investigate murders, nothing less.

    #10

    Telling my best friend that I am mentally exhausted.

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    #11

    listening to my bestie tell me he wants to kill himself. He's alive.

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    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had to talk him out of it.. I sent like 2 hours crying, running through all the resons why I cared for him, and begging him not to do it. By the end of the night we were both sobbing messes, he was shaking so much...... c**p now I'm crying again

    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We wound up crying until we passed out (sleeping) I woke up like two hours later on top of him ( he was still asleep) he had tear stains on his cheeks and he was still gripping my hand. I woke him up and wiped his face.

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    tara
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thank God for you being there for him.

    Legless_snake
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’ve had to do this as well. It sucks to hear that about Simone who you respect so much

    #12

    Having to have my heart dog euthanised. He collapsed and it was discovered he had a mass on his spleen. He was nearly 14 and it was doubtful he would have survived surgery, but I still regret to this day not giving him that chance. I thought I was doing the kindest thing for him but I miss him every single day. It's been 8 years and doesn't get any easier.

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    Riley77
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I worked veterinary for years. there's a saying "quality of life vs. quantity of life". at 14, he would have had a hard time recovering from a major surgery like that. he would have been in pain. longer recovery. if the mass was cancerous, he would have been subjected to chemo, making him ill and hurt more. you saved him from that. Do not regret this decision which you made out of love. you did the right thing.❤️

    Riley77
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    btw, I too had to make that decision 7 years ago. my baby dog was 9 years old with breast cancer. tumor grew to grapefruit sized within 4 days. it was hard. but it had to be done. FOR HER. she passed in my arms before ever suffering one bit. I miss her, but will never regret saving her from that pain.

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    April Dancer
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Never regret that you saved your dear old friend from pain and suffering. It was indeed the kindest thing you could do for him.

    Shelly Pettyiohn
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Unfortunately your loss will never get any easier I know lost our dog after 14 years and every day I can literally burst into tears in a convenience store. I pray you find comfort in knowing you will see your BFF again it says it over and over in the Bible that there are animals. God bless you and I'm praying for your continued strength just remember people out there love you and can empathize with you

    Andrei Marentette
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Putting a dog down is always the hardest thing to deal with. I've never experienced it, but I can say that you have to think "do I stay with them during their last moments, or do I just leave them alone, and stay happy

    #13

    Sat with a woman as she held her toddler, as life support was terminated for the toddler is tied with holding up my own mom as my sister was pronounced dead. There's an abyss we see in those times that never stops staring back at us.

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    Caro Caro
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh GOD. I'm so very sorry to hear this. What a horrible time you must have had. I'm sending you an enormous HUG. Not a piddly one but a huge Caro Caro one.

    CMKL
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's heartbreaking! I used to work in a hospital on the terminal ward. So many people had no support system whatsoever. I can't even count the number of times I sat with people in their final moments after my shift ended or my day off. I felt that they should have someone that was there for them so they could move on. Ironically, the sperm donor that claims to be my father wanted nothing to do with me since the age of 8 until he died, and I can't even say that I ever felt bad for him, I was & still am emotionless about him, but not for others, even strangers.

    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Similar. I was numb to my dad in many ways, but to see that woman's grief... I still .... Yeah. Nobody should be alone in a crisis. (Not even my dad was.)

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    #14

    Move myself somewhere I knew no one. Began building a life from the ground up because of an opioid addiction due to an autoimmune disease that makes my entire body hurt all day every day. I’m 3 years into this ordeal and it’s been by far the scariest thing I have ever done. I’m still sober. Growing every day and doing my best to learn to work with my body rather than against it.

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    Riley77
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I did the "move where you know no one" thing when I was 18. Stayed for 26 years. Give it some time. And congrats on your clean

    tara
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can NOT imagine being brave enough to move somewhere new, on my own. I can barely cross the street by myself when I am in the city.

    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Let’s just say the social anxiety was very hard the first year. Going across the street to buy toilet paper was enough to give me a panic attack. Getting myself through it each time has made me a very head strong individual.

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    #15

    I have a gastric bypass. I used to be super morbidly obese. I'm a 5'34 foot in shoes shorty, my highest weight was about 385 lbs, BMI of 65. The surgery was hard, getting everything approved by different doctors and professionals was hard, but the hardest part was realizing, accepting and admitting that I needed help and was going to die on my own. Deciding to tackle your emotional food addiction and having a perfectly healthy system crippled in order to live knowing you can never eat and drink normal again was extreme.

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    tara
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Gaining it is soooo easy, losing it is soooooooo hard. Good for you for taking control and getting yourself better.

    Earl Grey
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wishing you a good start to an even better 2023!

    censorshipsucks
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    385 Lbs so what, 175 kg? That is terrible. Sorry to hear.

    #16

    Honestly, the hardest thing I have ever had to do is a long distance relationship. It absolutely destroys me every single day. I always feel heartbroken. I try to be happy and strong, but in reality I always breakdown and cry at night when I am alone. It just hurts so much. The pain results in anger and attitude, which doesn't help. I try to control my emotions, but sometimes the hurt and pain is overwhelming. I love the quote "I have never missed someone this much who I have not lost." It is totally worth it though. Long distance is temporary, but out relationship is forever.

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    lauralett50
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Am currently in a fairly new long distance relationship. Went from friends to him proposing in less than 4 months . I'm thinking about it . We talk every day. It's hard to be with out him , I'm in America, he's in Europe. Timing is everything.

    #17

    Gotten a divorce because I was deeply unhappy. Changed careers EVERY time my disability doubles down on the new normal. Choosing kindness and hope in a frightening world

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    patricia patricia
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Choosing kindness and hope in a frightening world". That's beautiful and brave. I wish I had the strength and courage to choose as wisely.

    lauralett50
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Considering divorce,from spouse. For my soul mate.Man it's hard.

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    #18

    Letting my child live with her father. We just got divorced, and he could provide a more stable environment than I could at the time. It was tough, and unwanted comments from others made it worse. My favorite: "only bad people give up their children". She's an adult now, and seeing the wonderful young lady she's become has convinced me more and more that I made the correct decision.

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    tara
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Only bad people give up their children" That is so wrong, what an awful thing for people to say!! I think that: Only bad people deny their children the best life they can give them.

    lauralett50
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Agreed. The children's well being should be priority.

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    CMKL
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm sorry that that happened to you. People don't realize how hard that is to do unless your in that situation, I don't wish that on anyone. You did the best possible thing for your child and yourself given the situation you were in. If you had custody of her and things went sideways those same people would be telling you how bad a parent you are. It's a lose lose situation.

    Lene
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There's this old story from ancient times about two women both claiming to be the mother of one child. The case was taken to be judged by the king. He told the women and the boy to approach him and then the each woman to grab an arm of the boy and pull. He said that the lady who ended up being the one who held on to the boy would be the mother. The women began pulling in each of the boys arms until one let go. The king gave the child to the woman who let go. Why? Because she would rather lose him than hear him cry and scream from the pain of being pulled by two opposite women. She was the mother as she would rather be alone than to see her boy being hurt. You, my friend, is your child's true mother because you couldn't watch her have less than the best possible life for her. And all those who cannot see that have never been in your situation anyway (I assume) so how would they know what a great mom in that situation would do? *hug*

    #19

    Blood tests. I have to go to a hospital to have them every couple of months to check I’m doing ok and they FREAK ME OUT. The way my finger scrapes against the test tube to get the blood out…. Aughhh, no, just no. I always end up in tears, but one way or the other I end up doing it.

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    FlamingoPanda
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Huge shoutout to you for keeping on doing it and looking after yourself despite how hard it is. Have you tried taking a plushie/soft toy with you to squeeze while you get the blood tests? That really helped me with my anxiety at the dentist.

    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thanks! :) And yeah, sometimes I do take my stuffed rabbit Violet with me.

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    censorshipsucks
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I faint with these, so at least I don't see anything beyond the needle approaching my arm.

    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yikes! I can’t even look at a picture of a needle on TV without feeling unsettled. 😬

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    #20

    Say goodbye to my mom while she was put on life support because of a doctor's error.

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    tara
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That sounds like the hardest thing, ever.

    Tessa Dawn
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So sorry to hear, sorry for the doctors neglect

    #21

    Deciding to leave the love of my life after 10 years together because I had spent 8 years of it dealing with his drug addiction, and trying everything in my power to help him. I told him I loved him, but that it was time for me to love myself more. He died due to that addiction 3 years later. My decision still haunts me, but deep down, I know I made the right one.

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    April Dancer
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In the end you had to save yourself. I can't begin to imagine how hard that must have been, but he was slowly dragging you down with him.

    #22

    Getting over depression & society anxiety. Seems like a never ending battle

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    lil bear bear
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You got this! You are so worth it!

    Guinevere89
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You get through rather than over. Always look to the other side of the current battle.

    rs_adahl1971
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I still battle them both every day.

    #23

    After showing up for work day after day after day for 20 years and realizing I had at least another 20 years of this. I had great jobs and was well paid but the sameness was appalling. Sticking it out was the hardest thing I've done.

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    darqemm
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For me it was realizing that working extra hard and being really good at my job did not mean a promotion or raise.

    #24

    Tell my sons, 14y and 16y at the time that their mother had overdosed. She had been clean and went to therapy for 2 years just to get to see them again. She had about 3 visits with them then died due to fentanyl. Brutal.

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    Riley77
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    sorry for your loss. continue to be there for your kids, it will make all the difference

    #25

    Being there for my mom after she tried to kill herself. My dad called me around 3am one night. He told me to get a bottle of water and walk down to the lake by our house. I did that, and when I got there I found out that my mom had tried to drown herself. I think she was drunk, but I'm not really sure. I then had to sit with her for what was probably half an hour, but felt like a lot longer, while my dad walked back to our house and got the car. She kept talking about what a terrible person she was, and how she was a bad mom. She's a great mom, and it was really hard to sit there and listen to her. I was 12 when this happened. I also later found out this was her 2nd attempted suicide, and my parents didn't tell me because they thought I was too young.

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    BoredPanther ‍
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So sorry for that, sending lots of hugs and praying to whoevers out there that she is fine now

    Caro Caro
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I hope you know your mum loves you and nothing what happened is your fault. Sometimes children who have been through this have a feeling that it has something to do with them - NO it doesn't. She loves you. Don't forget that. Hugs.

    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thank you. It was really hard at first, but 2 years of therapy definitely helped. Thank you for the hugs, I'm sending some back to you

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    #26

    Sitting next to my wife of 30 years as she finally lost her battle with cancer. She was in hospital for a week and never regained consciousness but I sat with her all through each night and most of each day talking to her and holding her hand because I was determined that she wouldn't pass away alone.

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    tara
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When my grandmother was dying of cancer, my grandfather would only visit for an hour or so at a time. She would cry and beg him to stay, but he wouldn't. He was busy making dating ads for the news paper so he could replace her, before she even died....... I wish he had of been half the husband you were, to your wife.

    Caro Caro
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Bill, that is the hardest but the best thing you can do for a loved one. Making sure they leave this world in peace - feeling loved. Hugs and I hope you are ok.

    #27

    Taking care of my elderly parents. Dad had a rough time moving in with me and by the second month didn't know who I was. I held his had as he took his last breath, 4 months to the day after he moved in with me. Now I care for my 98 yo mom who is naturally a very negative person. Zaps the happiness right out of you. Siblings don't visit her. My husband is handling this remarkably well. Mom is very healthy. Not sure how much more I can handle. :(

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    Riley77
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Stay strong. Lean on hubby if you need. What you are doing is a beautiful thing.

    censorshipsucks
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Threaten her with a retirement home if she does not stop it.

    tara
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Some places have programs for help with respite care, to give you a break. Sometimes just a little break can help a bit.

    #28

    I got my private pilot's license at 17 while I was a Jr. In highschool. The month leading up to it was hell... I had about three meltdowns because of the stress. I remember at one point I was sobbing in my car because it rained and I didn't have to practice that day. I got a part-time job so I could pay for a good portion of it on my own, so for most of my Jr. Year I was working, doing school, then flying. It was a lot considering I'd been a major couch potato for the past however long. All this said, it was totally worth it. I love flying. I've had my license for almost a year now, and while I don't fly near enough (because I'm trying to finish HS strong and other stuff) I love flying. It's an escape from the problems on the ground that I really need sometimes. 10/10 would recommend. Right now tho the hardest thing is choosing a major, a college, and a careers. I'm on of thoes annoying people who would be great at almost anything... Too many options so it's heka stressful and I'm too scared to actually start moving. Second semester right now and I haven't done much past ACT and SAT. Hopefully I can get something figured out but this is one of the scariest things I've ever done

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    FlamingoPanda
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Go you! A friend of mine joined the army (quite different here in South Africa to some places) to learn to fly and when he gets out he wants to do chartered safari flights for a living. There are always many options but never be scared to change careers or change course, even midway through a degree. I started out with a degree in chemistry and now am a software developer. :) You can do it!

    rs_adahl1971
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Adulting is hard. I tell my 23 year old son this all the time.

    featherytoad
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well if you like flying, do something in aviation. I always thought being a helicopter pilot would be cool.

    #29

    Telling my daughter she's an alcoholic. I didn't know how she would react. I was scared that she would cut me out of her life. That she wouldn't get the help that she needed. But she did. She went to detox. She's fallen off the wagon once. But after a month of her drinking she came to me and asked for help. She's on the right path. I keep telling her that she's not in trouble. I hate seeing her feeling ashamed of herself. I'm going to go call her right now 🥰

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    censorshipsucks
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Alcoholism is hell to deal with because drinking is socially acceptable so no-one really notices it, except the family. And when you try get them off the drug they protest that it's just a drink and not a drug and they do not need professional help yadda. And how dare you criticise their life choices. Meantime it is far more dangerous than MJ or Shrooms.

    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Exactly. There's so many triggers. Holidays, special occasions, funerals. Thanks for the understanding.

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    Legless_snake
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Im so glad that I could cause you to connect with someone. That makes me happy

    #30

    Having to watch my dog get euthanised this past summer. I stroked her head the entire time until i heard her final breath. Its only been a couple months but its so painful each time i see her leash and collar, which i have saved. She wore that leash and collar for as long as i can remember and hold many memories for me. RIP Lilly Grace

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    tara
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    RIP indeed. :( We never get to keep them long enough.

    #31

    Held my mother's hand as she was dying and physically feeling the exact moment she was gone .

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    Caro Caro
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Like a punch in the gut (was for me). I'm sorry for your loss and thank you for being there for her.

    #32

    My daughter almost died at 10 years old from an allergic reaction to a OTC pain reliever she had taken all her life. She spent 4 weeks in a burn unit because she lost 70% of her skin. It affected all of her mucosa membranes, inside of her body, eyes, mouth, lips...everything. The stem cells in her left eye were destroyed. She had to have eye drops every 2 hours. The eye drops were excruciating for her. It took several people to hold her down. The hardest thing I've ever done? Holding her head still so they could administer these eye drops while she begged me to help her. Wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.

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    Caro Caro
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As a mother you must have felt awful even tho you had to do it for her own good. I'm sorry for both of you. How is your daughter now?? Is she ok?

    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    2 years of recovery. She is blind in her left eye now, so she now has 2 disabilities. Thank you so much for your kind words. The syndrome she developed from the reaction was called Toxic Epidermal Neurolysis.

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    #33

    Handing my infant daughter to rescuers in a boat after we had gotten trapped in flooding. The flood had submerged most of the first floor of our house in water, and the only way for my kids to get to safety was handing them to the rescuer's boat from the 2nd floor balcony. This all happened in the pouring rain. I'm glad she was only 3 months old and probably doesn't remember it- for my wife and I it was an absolute nightmare.

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    censorshipsucks
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At least she was ok. I am assuming you're in Oz, Steve?

    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No, we were in Houston Texas at the time. This all happened more than 5 years ago.

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    Caro Caro
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Pffft, handing your child over to someone else in an emergency situation like that must have felt like giving her away. You saved her life tho and made that your priority. Is the house livable? You all ok?

    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We're fine now. This all happened over 5 years ago when we lived in Houston Texas. The house was destroyed and eventually tore down.

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    #34

    Putting up my 2 year old daughter and 1 year old son for adoption 31 years ago.

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    Lostsocalgal
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Jesus help you, what an unselfish act of humanity.

    The shoebill
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Im sorry but what caused you to do this?

    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Best decision of my life. I was 17 and 18 when I had them. But 3 years ago my daughter found me on Facebook. And they were adopted together. So. I've even got 2 grandkids. Thanks for asking

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    #35

    Got clean after years of drug use

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    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had been a drug addict for roughly 14 years. Lived on the streets of Toronto, and did whatever I could to get a fix. Saw some of the most messed up stuff I'd ever seen on those streets. Thankfully, I had an amazing support system, to hold me up, until I could do it on my own. I just celebrated 15 years clean, and could not be more thankful

    Caro Caro
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Congratulations. Well done you! I'm proud of you and I mean it!

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    Libby Fischer
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It is difficult for people who don’t experience addiction to understand how difficult it is to stop. Thank God you were open to His will to do what was needed and get sober!

    Shelly Pettyiohn
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Keep strong God is with you every moment in your struggle you can beat it

    #36

    I lived with and drank alcohol from about 3 years old with my dad. I drank dependently at 15 and drank consistently at 18. The hardest thing I have ever done or will ever do was to stop my full fledged alcoholic drinking at age 40. It was the best gift of life I could ever imagine. I turn 70 in two weeks. Everyday, I thank God for giving me the desire to stop drinking on that day in November of 1993. It was a miracle, I ask for that miracle in June. That’s all I knew to do, it was the hardest and bravest thing I’ve ever done.

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    Caro Caro
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow. You are brave and strong. I can't imagine the willpower it took and I'm proud of you Libby.

    Andrei Marentette
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    wait, your dad is a maniac. allowing you to drink at 3???

    #37

    Having to tell my students that another teacher (much beloved and a colleague of mine for 20+ years) had died of Covid. We all knew his kids also because they also attended our high school.

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    #38

    Watching my daughter go through 2 craniotomies and 33 rounds of radiation for ependymoma (brain cancer) when she was barely 3. With all she went through, she ended up being my rock for most of it. She went through a lot of pain, still terrified of needles at age 18, and has lasting difficulties due to the damage to her brain. But I only had 3 nervous breakdowns through the whole thing, and never in front of her. Every time I thought I'd break she'd do something very strange, like scare the hell out of the ICU nurse who didn't believe me when I said she could easily climb out of the crib. Or take the leads from the nurse and try to hook herself up to the machines before her radiation. Or the time she got mad someone else's radiation appointment was running late and disappeared. Nurse caught her just as she was heading for the treatment room and had to put us in a different area and block the door. At 3 years old she had a heck of an attitude. But it amused the nurses to no end after having so many terrified little ones to have one that asked so many questions and wanted to be involved. One nurse even joked they were waiting for her to try to draw her own meds!

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    Caro Caro
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    WOW. She is a strong young woman now. Congratulations and I hope you are both ok.

    #39

    Telling my boyfriend's 6 yr old son that his dad was going to be taken off of life support.

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    LH25
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Heartbreaking for you all.

    #40

    Fighting cancer. It was emotionally and physically exhausting. I was scared that I might die, and the surgery, chemo and radiation all in 9 months was so hard on my body. I remember explaining the fatigue to mom this way. You are sitting in your chair. There is a glass of water on the table by you, and you are thirsty. You can't summon the energy to pick it up. My pastor said that he had days where just lying on the couch watching the wall tired him out when he was fighting his. Good news, 6 years later I have no signs of a reoccurrence. I'm still dealing with some of the effects of the treatments, but overall am doing well.

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    #41

    Write the Eulogy for my son when he passed.

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    Caro Caro
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is so sad. I'm sorry for your loss. HUGS Loraine.

    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mmm. I , when, something related happens I still say, of its okay Oliver will be home soon. I am completely on ,y own, relatives in Scotland and an Inquest to face. Thanks.

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    #42

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    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not sure where mine has disappeared to but I'll answer again- My job- palliative care. Looking after someone and really getting to know them, caring for them and making sure they are as comfortable and content as they can possibly be as their life draws to a close.

    tara
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I work in a care home. There have been people I knew were about to die, people I really really cared about, watching them get more and more confused about things, watching their personality changing. Watching them fade away. It bothered me so much more then I realized, I couldn't sleep and I started having bizarre and scary hallucinations. I cannot imagine how strong you must be to do that very admirable job, over and over.

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    #43

    Having to watch my dog get euthanised this past summer. I stroked her head the entire time until i heard her final breath. Its only been a couple months but its so painful each time i see her leash and collar, which i have saved. She wore that leash and collar for as long as i can remember and hold many memories for me. RIP Lilly Grace

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    #44

    The hardest thing was having to tell my then three year old daughter that her mother had just died.

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    Caro Caro
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh GOD. That must have been really really hard. I hope you are both fine now and have found peace and happiness.

    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thanks, it was back in the 90's but it's one of those things we've both learned to live with. :)

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    #45

    1.My performance anxiety, even with though I always pass 2.Having to explain to my narcissistic best friend I could have other friends. We are only friends because she knows a lot about me, so I am scared of blackmail. My depression and anxiety (mostly) comes from her.

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    ShockSandSniper_
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You should whack your ’’friend’’ on the head. hard. perhaps with a brick if your up to it.

    The Person
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh, I was in this situation. It's hard to hear, but it doesn't sound like this is a good relationship for either of you.

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    #46

    I've struggled with endogenous depression all my adult life (undiagnosed until 1998) so life itself is full of painful challenges. I've emigrated with my family to Australia from New Zealand, worked for decades in toxic working environments, been targeted and bullied in same (by management) and then resigned so I could nurse my father until he died. No one really enjoys being that intimate with an incontinent parent, but I loved him and wanted the best for him. I can't pick any one of these and say it was the hardest. They all seemed like worst at the time. Kudos to all those who grapple with depression and win a few bouts. And even if you lose a few, you still gain something. Just forgive yourself and know that you are loved, loved just as you are. Arohanui.

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    #47

    Wife and I divorced after she decided she wanted to have kids. I knew I would never want kids (30 years later and I still feel the same, she has 3 kids). There were no other issues. Yes, we fully discussed prior to 5 year marriage. She changed her mind.

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    #48

    You don't really want to hear this, but you asked. I kneeled down to quiet a dog chained in the back yard, and didn't realize my best little friend, a tiny kitten with an attitude, was trotting along at my heels. He came right up between my feet and the Shepherd chomped him. It all happened so quick. He was all broken inside. I had to yell "Tammy get a bucket." And I had to drown my best friend. Didn't stop to think at all, I knew what had happened and the longer he was alive, the greater his suffering. I didn't start to shake until well after the incident was over.

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    Caro Caro
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You did the best thing possible but OMG that must've been hard.

    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes Caro, thank you, hardest thing I've ever had to do. I'm so glad we can sometimes go into "auto mode" and just instinctually take the best actions to get the job done. There's time to shake after you've done what you can.

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    #49

    Raising a child with adhd and autism as a single mother while dealing with cptss, therapy and building up my own live. I left my sons dad when I found out I was pregnant because he was very abusive and I was scared he would do something to me while pregnant and I didn't want that kind of life for my child. My family lives 3 hours away so I did most of it alone. It is the most hardest, exausting time of my life but also the most beautifull and full of love. Also the misunderstanding from other people doesn't make it easier.

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    mcborge1
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I fully believe you when you when you say it was hard and exausting! I raised my daughter on my own, she has ADHD and Autism too so I know how exactly what it's like. We lost her mother when my daughter was three to cancer so for the first three years of being a dad I was a carer to her mother too and yes it was really tough. My daughter is 29 now and i'm still her full time carer. not everyone gets to pick a path in life, sometimes life picks a path for you. I hope you and your son are doing well. :)

    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh that's so sad to hear.. I only can imagine how hard that has to have been to take care of a child with needs and also to take care of your wife and loosing her. You are a great dad and a very strong en awesome person for doing that. That's true, but I really believe it maked our love and bond so much stronger. Even when it's exhausting I'm so happy he is there. We are doing pretty great now.. I'm still in therapy but I hope not for very long and I deciced to go and live closer to my family with my boyfriend who is really sweet for me and my son. And I hope I can start with helping other parents with childeren like ours. I Hope you are and your daughter are doing well too.

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    #50

    Having to tell my sister that I was taking her home the next day from the hospital to die as there was nothing more the doctors could do. She had just turned 49. She died a month later from cancer. In a little more than a year, my sister, brother, mom and dad all died from cancer.

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    Caro Caro
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm so sorry for your loss. What a horrible year that must have been. Hugs.

    #51

    I always said that all of my life my Dad carried me... I got to carry him as a pallbearer at his funeral.

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    Caro Caro
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sorry for your loss. What a special moment tho, to do this for him.

    #52

    Going through a tear gas chamber in Navy basic training. I had to take off my gas mask and take a breath of the gas before I exited. It was agony. Ironically, when I joined the Army fourteen years later, I was one of the people that actually ran the chambers and gained quite a tolerance for the gas and would do entire exercises without the mask on...

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    #53

    Have to leave my marriage due to abuse and then be too old to date again.

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    Ray Heap
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Too old to date! Wut? Dont know how old you are, but at way north of sixty, amma getting more dates than ever before in my life. My motto is: If they are not dead, they are datable.

    Samantha Power
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sorry to hear that please don't think you are too old to date. I am 67 years old and met this wonderful man in a meet up group,

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    #54

    At the end of their lives, when they were half in and half out of this part of their journey, I assisted both of my parents' departure from their pain and misery. It was definitely the hardest thing I've ever done

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    #55

    Accept the fact that I’m going to get so muscular I’ll be competing against the Greek Gods. And I’ll do my best to lose my weight.

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    #56

    - come out -break up with toxic long-term girlfriend - live 11 years without support (im 12 and now have some friends

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    #57

    Pulling myself from trying to commit suicide on more than one occasion. The thoughts still creep in my head sometimes but I've gotten strong enough mentally to fight them off. I have to keep telling myself that it's a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

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    #58

    I took my 19 year old sweet kitty, Mini to the vet to send her on to the Rainbow Bridge. 😿

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    #59

    Weight Loss Surgery. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. Some people see it as the easy way out. I went through a year of classes, had to lose some weight ahead of the surgery to reduce my liver size. Support group, giving up so many things I will never be able to eat again. For 35 years I struggled with my weight. If I could have done it on my own I would have. I now have a longer expected life span and feel so much healthier. My wife, family, work, church were all supportive 100%. Some people in my support group never made it to surgery because no one supported them. This may be the hardest thing some obese people have ever done, support them so they can get healthy and live longer lives.

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    #60

    We had to let our beloved dog, Murphy Alexander, go to sleep 11 days after my dad died.

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    #61

    NOT look at bored panda

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    #62

    Pulled myself back from committing suicide on more than one occasion. The thoughts creep im my head from time to time but I've gotten strong enough to fight them off.

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    #63

    Closing my father's eyes. He was in hospice, surrounded by daughters and granddaughters, and when he passed, we were lucky to be with him. His beautiful blue eyes were still open and I instinctively reached over and closed his eyes, knowing I'd never see them again. He taught us how to live; he taught us how to die,

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    Caro Caro
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sorry for your loss. I'm am glad to know he did not die alone. Hugs Jen.

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