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Hey Pandas, What Is Something That You Have Lost That You Wish You Could Get Back? (Closed)
Something physical, emotional, or a person no longer in your life, that you want to have again.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
My mind. A massive breakdown many years ago has meant that the second half of my life has been spent living as someone else. Oh, I suppose you wanted something light and frothy as a reply. Sorry.
Final score:
37points
DarkViolet 2 years ago
No, this is honest and straightforward. I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope that you have a good support system in place.
Doodles1983 2 years ago
I haven’t ever heard of or spoken to someone else that has experienced this. I had a nervous breakdown in 2009. And about 4 months after the tip, I felt my brain changing. Literally like wires in my head, making new paths. I’ve never been the same since. I believe it is a protective response so as to never go “there” again. I hear you and (not to be cheesy) you are truly not alone in terms of the feeling.
RELATED:
#2
My desire to help humanity. Covidiots killed it, and now I'm just going through the motions. And, as a medical doctor, that's just so frigging wrong. I do my best, but... my heart for it's gone.
Final score:
33points
les 2 years ago
I'm sure I'm not the only person here that appreciates all you do and have done. You guys put yourselves at the front line of risk and these rancid pricks have blamed you. i wish you were allowed to refuse treatment and save it for those that at least appreciate it, then they might realise the last people you should be treating like this are those that care for you. It wasn't them that tried to make our loved ones last moments as comfortable as you could, it was you guys and tahts why you are the heroes and their still zeros, desperate for validation from knuckle dragging simpletons that watched a youtube video. you deserve much more than a clap on the street but sadly certain f**k witted bafoons are in power so thats not going to happen any time soon. Be proud of who you are because people are proud of you
Robin Roper 2 years ago
Truly an awful situation. The shear stupidity and idiocy that put us in the situation where people in power could have such negative impact on the very institutions is frightening. "We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo
Tamra 2 years ago
Can't remember where I heard this bit of wisdom, but it goes something like: You can't give if your cup is empty. So you must fill it up, and serve others from the overflow. That said, what our healthcare professionals have endured during COVID has been... traumatic, to say the least. They've had to serve from empty cups for too long. Maybe, in time, your cup can be refilled, but it's also fine to accept that you've lost the fire to practice medicine in the way you used to. COVID and the resulting political s**t storm has changed so many, and it's not over yet.
Leo Domitrix (Submission author) 2 years ago
I've gone back to research, my (second)true love but ... I can't care. Nobody will do antyhing with our data but skew it for 2024 elections. :-( Why? Why do they care so little for human life? It's gotten to where I'm willing to say, "OK, if your politics mean women have no health choice if the uterus involved, then your politics mean I don't have to treat your lifsetyle-induced stroke. God's will be done, am I right?"
Load More Replies...
Doodles1983 2 years ago
As someone who worked in healthcare through Covid, I empathise. It was rough on the entire medical community and has been utterly thankless. And the progress that was accelerated during the period, has receded. Or gotten worse. Not to mention, the pace picked up out of need, is now expected to be the normal and it’s burning everyone out.
Leo Domitrix (Submission author) 2 years ago
Yeah. And we're expected (we being the medical community) meant to do more with fewer doctors and hope that nurses can do it all. Which, love nurses tho' I do, and admire 90% of RNs as I do, I'm sorry, no, it won't work. It can't. Even nurse practitioners, who in th eUS can prescribe, are not 'equivalent" to MDs. I know NPs who'll even say that, but... Covid got budgets cut and workforces twisted and now when I go to the ER I worked at? With my hubby, whose cchemo is going badly? The most numerous staff was janitorial. *headdesk* We can't do it. Too much for too few for too long.
Load More Replies... 
Lady Lestrange 2 years ago
I'm so proud of you for everything you've done not only during the raging pandemic, but for your sheer desire to help humanity. I really appreciate and respect your profession that puts you and your family at risk. Don't lose yourself to some illiterate morons, who doesn't even have the slightest idea regarding the things going on around them. I pity them. But, you are great and awesome!
DarkViolet 2 years ago
Please don't let a handful of jerkwads ruin your life goals. We need you out there on the front lines, fighting for those who have no other means of navigating this minefield.
#3
My innate happiness and love of life...
Final score:
31points
Frances Pitchoune 2 years ago
Me, I've never had one. But try again. You're going to meet important people in your life, and you're going to say to yourself: okay, I'm going to stay for you. Try, please.
#4
My sister. She’s not dead, but depression messed her up really badly, and she hasn’t been the same since.
Final score:
29points
#5
My pet cat. He passed away 3 years ago and I miss him every day
Final score:
28points
DarkViolet 2 years ago
I'm sorry for your loss. I hope that you have a keepsake by which to remember him.
Marcy Wu (Submission author) 2 years ago
I do actually. Before he died, (I wasn't there unfortunately) my dad got his paw print into clay for me. I also have a shirt of a cat made of stars and the cat constellation someone painted me. I have ways to remember him thankfully. Just wish I had him instead
Load More Replies... detective miller's hat 2 years ago
I lost Callisto in 2012 and I still miss her. More than I miss a lot of the people I've lost. :/
Freya the Wanderer 2 years ago
I buried my dear alley cat Ragamuffin in 2014, and lost my pseudo-Siamese Aida last year. I'd love to bring them both back - at 1 year old, and spayed.
#6
My 3 dogs. Sadly, it's impossible to get all of them back, as one passed away recently. I still have hope for the other two.
Final score:
27points
#7
I know this is probably not what you meant but my self confidence. When I was younger I used to have high confidence and wasn’t afraid to express myself. As soon as I entered grade school though- I completely lost all of it
Final score:
26points
the harbinger of doom s/t/h 2 years ago
for me people happened. i dont know how to get my self love and confidence back
Load More Replies... DarkViolet 2 years ago
Grade school is where you are expected to march in lock step and think exactly how they want you to think.
#8
My mother's memory. Dementia is a horrible, horrible thing. It strips away everything. I miss my mom, even though she's still here.
Final score:
26points
detective miller's hat 2 years ago
Such a horrible illness for everyone involved. My dad turns 80 this year, and his short term memory is getting so bad, I'm terrified he'll end up diagnosed with Alzheimer's like his mum.
DarkViolet 2 years ago (edited)
I can't help but see dementia, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's diseases as an underhanded way of depriving people of their loved ones. It's like you're holding their hands, and this nameles, faceless fiend is standing right behind them. They're slowly pulling them out of your hands, and there isn't a damned thing you can do about it. I've seen too many acquaintances go through that type of hell.
#9
So many things. My ability to remember stuff. Not having ED. Feeling h0rny (I dont and havent for like 20 years). My eyesight. My willingness to let myself love a new person. Smooth skin. Hair on my head. Age isn't kind.
Final score:
25points
#10
I miss the feeling of "loving", both romantically and platonically. Being let down many times by family, friends, best friends, and peoples I used to trust for multiple times, has made me numb to such feelings. Nowadays, no one being special in my life, nor I can feel deeply compassionate towards people. Even if I help and show some sympathy towards others, it is nothing more than formalities as a good citizen and/or human being...
Final score:
24points
Lil Miss Hobbit 2 years ago
I am so sorry. I hope it comes back...mine has been, very slowly. There is hope.
Fei (Submission author) 2 years ago
Thx and big hug for you too Violet...
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Sapient Mulch 2 years ago
Came here to post this very thing. I remember something, sort of like what some folks might call "love", and the weirdest thing is I have a grown child, close friends that would be in a relationship with me if I were willing, but I can't turn my back on my solitude. I no longer really think such things exist. Rather like religion I'd imagine, (lifelong atheist), once you no longer believe, it ceases to matter.
#11
me, mentally and physically. 29 years ago i was diagnosed with a chronic and painful neuromuscular disorder, and it has stolen my ability to think clearly and disabled my body from the 24/7 pain/fatigue. i refuse to take pain meds because of the side effects. everyday when i wake up, i have to make the decision to get up and have a life of sorts. i know that sounds horrible, and it is. but i refuse to give up and chose to find joy in the little things.
Final score:
23points
Danish Susanne 2 years ago
Please don't be afraid of pain meds. Sure they have side effects but so has pain, and that can be worse
Xenon 2 years ago
I agree. Chronic pain can have worse effects on your body and mind than pain meds. I have chronic pain I somewhat control with meds. Before I had physiological depression. Still do a bit but not nearly as bad now.
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Klopec 2 years ago
I also have a neurological disease I'm in pain 24/7. Also had colon cancer. I'm terminal, no chance of recovery. I take a lot pain meds and smoke a lot of marijuana. I pray for death, I'm too weak to do it myself.
Doodles1983 2 years ago
Relentless pain can cause real mental and physical takedowns. Pain meds do have side effects but not always and it’s different for all. Given your resistance, addiction is unlikely so consider this. (It’s what I do.) I take relatively mild pain relief morning and night, every day. Twice a week, on a Weds night (for better sleep to finish the week) and Saturday morning (for the mental escape of relief from pain) I take a stronger slow-release opiate. If I am doing something out of the ordinary (I.e. a day out, I take pain relief four times a day, plus one stronger one.) The psychological relief of not being in pain 24/7 365 has been significant.
kitteh floof lover (Submission author) 2 years ago
i guess i should have clarified the no pain meds issue...mild pain meds do no good. for any relief at all, i'd need major doses of strong meds, and that would leave me bed ridden. Instead, i take an antidepressant to help me deal with the pain during the day, and half dose of another antidepressant to help me sleep through the night. since my type of pain is beyond what most pain meds can touch, i chose to take something that helps me deal with the pain. i can't do a lot of things i used to, but i've found new activities that i can do. thank you for your info, though. everyone is different and maybe someone will benefit from your example.
Load More Replies... detective miller's hat 2 years ago
I have MS and started taking kratom on the recommendation of my acupuncturist to deal with pain and inflammation. I've been on it for over 10 years and I would 100% still be an opioid addict if not for kratom. The FDA is being funded by the big pharmaceutical companies to push bad press and ban it in the US because so many people are successfully quitting pharmaceutical opioids using it.
Klopec 2 years ago (edited)
Pain meds just make you not care you have the pain, does not take the pain away.
kitteh floof lover (Submission author) 2 years ago
that's what my antidepressants do, but with less side effects.
Load More Replies... #12
Honestly... hope. Hope for a happy future and living a fulfilling life. Not slaving away at a job I hate, which pays pretty much nothing and doesn't allow me to save anything.
Final score:
21points
Elizabeth VanDyke 2 years ago
I'm afraid that our children and grandchildren will face a very bleak future, if any at all.
Mary Bates 2 years ago
Find another job! I've been there...inertia is very hard to overcome, as well as fear of failure. But there are other jobs out there right now, and you may well find one that improves your situation. What do you have to lose?
#13
my sanity
Final score:
19points
detective miller's hat 2 years ago
Same. But it's been 3 years since my last stint in the Home for the Bewildered! Hopefully another few years to go before the next breakdown.
#14
My innocence. I was the purest, sweetest, bouncy little kid. Where did it all go!? 😭
Final score:
18points
Abby Palmer 2 years ago
Into the void of adulthood and responsibility... What goes in their never comes back....
#15
My pet rabbits. They died over teb years ago but I still remember what their furr felt like or their unconditional love for me or how they melted away under my touch. I would love to get pet rabbits again but my current place and living situation isn't ideal for pets sadly :(
Final score:
18points
detective miller's hat 2 years ago
Same with my cats that have passed. It was honestly harder losing them than it was losing some of my family members. <3
#16
My mother-in-law. She was killed in a motorcycle accident because some 16 year old kid didn't see her. She would have loved her granddaughters and I'm sad that they never got to meet her.
Final score:
15points
#17
My childhood. Thanks to my abusive selfish, self-absorbed, abusive and neglectful parents I lost out on having one.
Final score:
15points
DBear (Submission author) 2 years ago
I just realized I said abusive twice. Actually that's appropriate in this case.
RachyLou92 2 years ago
Me too. I wish it didn't effect My parenting soo much too. Being able to see exactly where the abuse tainted me and having to be hyper aware not to fall into the same s****y person she was. . . . I have to be stronger. And better. And actually love my babies. And keep them safe. You will one day break the cycle. And be so proud that you managed to. Because its a battle. Everyday x
#18
My father gave me a Montblanc pen when I was 15. I cherished that pen. That pen traveled to every country that I have lived in and signed every contract to any job that I have held including my current job. Cut to 25 years later since receiving said pen, my beautiful wife doesn't realize it was in one of my pockets before throwing my clothes in the laundry. The pen was destroyed, like completely fubared. There was no fixing it. I still love my wife.
Final score:
14points
Steph 2 years ago
Ouch. Lesson taught the hard way: always empty your pockets before throwing laundry into the laundry bin! Or: do your own laundry yourself! 😉
Satan 2 years ago
I'm going to have to agree with Polymath. OP just told you that this pen has been with him for a good two thirds of his life until it was destroyed, and your first instinct was to reply with "Ouch" and a winky-face emoji. Have a heart.
Load More Replies... Robin Roper 2 years ago
Thanks for still loving her. Don't leave things in pockets of clothing, even if you're going to wear it again the next day - just don't.
Satan 2 years ago
Zeek, it's okay. I'm sorry for all these commenters who don't sympathise with you, and I can't begin to comprehend what that pen must have meant to you, it was a tragic accident.
InfiniteZeek (Submission author) 2 years ago
Thank you for your empathy Satan (lol that's a wild sentence to say 🤣) The pen meant a lot to me, yes, however, I have no issues with any of the comments here. My skin is pretty thick, and I genuinely don't think anyone was being mean or rude. Thank you though.
Load More Replies... PolymathNecromancer 2 years ago
Zeek, I hope you do not feel invalidated by these compassionless comments <3
#19
my eagerness to trust people and make friends.
Final score:
14points
Super Beast (Submission author) 2 years ago
thank you for caring enough to comment
Load More Replies... #20
My pet rat and her softness and warmth on my cheek when she sat on my shoulder.
Final score:
13points
#21
My integrity, honesty, and peoples trust. Once you’ve comprised yourself once its so difficult to recover from and easy to lie. I wish I could be stronger, prouder, and happier to be able to be honest and confront things head on
Final score:
12points
Realistic_Lemons (any) 2 years ago
It sucks that we as a society have done this so much that I can relate, but I know exactly what you’re going through, and while I don’t have a way to fix it, I can tell you that if you plan an hour or a day or a week to just tell the truth and face everything you usually can’t do, it will get better soon. ❤️🩹
RachyLou92 2 years ago
It does get better. I promise. I had lost everyone and everything. I had pushed my kids away. Sent them to live elsewhere. I had left my job. Left my partner. Went on a very long bender. Getting high. Making bad choices. Now. I have my children. Living with me. (I had more children too) I'm clean. I have a Job. A home. It's hard confronting your past. But I have. And I accept I made lade choices. And not always for the right reasons. But now I can be proud ans you know what. I'm actually strangely proud of my mistakes too. So keep your head up x
Robin Roper 2 years ago
It's extremely hard to rebuild trust. Advise - don't compromise your integrity; don't lie, ever; and don't cheat, steal, or mislead others.
#22
the amazing stereo setup i had in 1996 that i traded for 8 hits of acid, gram of coke & $350
Final score:
12points
Nice Beast Ludo 2 years ago
Ouch. Those losses always hurt the worst because you trade them for a high that makes you feel like s**t later and leaves you with absolutely nothing
#23
My childhood innocence and whimsy. Wanting to play with toys and write stories all day.
Final score:
12points
Realistic_Lemons (any) 2 years ago
As someone who should probably still have that, I want it back so freaking bad, but I don’t know how. I think it’s gone forever and I’ll never get it back. I miss my love for playing with the little dolls and action figures I liked and putting my Barbie’s on the motorcycles and nobody caring that the gender roles were switched or whatever, but now if I do anything considered “different” I get lectured and told that it’s wrong. I also miss not having any responsibilities except turning in my vocabulary worksheets. I hate that I can’t just think of people without remembering s****y things other people have said about them. I hate not having innocence or a childhood even though I’m not even old enough to drive a freaking golf cart.
Nice Beast Ludo (Submission author) 2 years ago
I remember when I was 12 and 13 I kept trying to force myself to play with barbies and dolls and really "get into" play mode like when I was younger and I just couldn't do it. It was sad.
Load More Replies... #24
I miss the childhood perception of time: where have all these endless, carefree summers gone?
Final score:
12points
Glen Ellyn 2 years ago
I realized I became an adult the summer after I graduated from high school. For a moment, I was excited about summer vacation; free time to do whatever I pleased. But about 30 seconds later, I realized I didn't get the summer off from work and it would be that way from then on! What a letdown.
Steph (Submission author) 2 years ago
time flies… never could relate to that expression as a child. Time seemed to stand still when I was young. 😢
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Idiocy Incarnate (she/her) 2 years ago (edited)
SO TRUE. especially the summer part. School starts in 3 weeks and I've had to research high-schools that'll help we with the job I want (animator) AND I suck at math so I'm practicing that too (I HATE math). Sometimes I wish I could, like, stop being a human for a bit and relax. BUT NO. I wish things were a bit more like harry potter. A certain number of OWLs and NEWTs and page-and-a-half essays about magic? PLEASE
#25
My hearing. I lost 90% of the hearing in my right ear over time due to Ménière disease. Then, in October 2020, overnight lost 100% of the hearing in my left ear also due to Ménière disease. I have two Cochlear Implants which I'm grateful for, but it's not "normal" hearing and they provide poor hearing of music. Guess I could add I also lost music.
Final score:
12points
#26
My will to live and a pair of converse i lost years ago
Final score:
12points
#27
My cookie monster coat that was blue, furry and had googly eyes on the hood I left in a theater after watching Peter Pan.
Final score:
11points
#28
My friend. Their depression pushed them over the edge two months ago.
Final score:
11points
#29
This might sound trivial and stupid. I lost my maternal grandmother when I was 18 years old. She was the best, and as I was the only daughter of her only daughter out of four children, she adored me as much as I adored her. One of the things I inherited from her was a small little earring, that kind of looped around the bottom part of my earlobe. And I wore it all the time. Somewhere along the way it got misplaced and I miss it even now at 54 years old. Love you Grams. I know you still look out for me.
Final score:
11points
DarkViolet 2 years ago
There's nothing trivial or stupid about missing something you've lost. That earring had sentimental value.
#30
When I was suicidal for the first time, I had this journal that I wrote in every day. But once I got better, I threw it away, I wish I can see it again, because if I'm being honest, I miss the journal and I wrote so many suicide notes and wills in there, and I wanna see how far I've grown.
Final score:
10points
Marinasongs1432 (Submission author) 2 years ago
Mind You, the journal was completely filled, and I'd fight my older brother if he tried to take it.
RachyLou92 2 years ago
It's great you have come soo far. I didn't have a journal. Not great at writing. But my last episode was 6 years ago. I have a latter from then that I wrote for my then 7 year old son and 2 year old daughter.apologising for not being strong enough. For killing their brother and for leaving them. That I could see that sometimes I was nearly as bad as she was. I would loose my temper and get so cross. But that they needed better. They needed a mummy that wasn't so broken. . . . . A couple of months ago I was again starting to circle the drain so I read that. And realised in the past few years I have been stronger. I have been better. I am trying. Yeah I have wobbles. But I didn't infant manage to kill myself or the boy. Went on to give birth to him and another little boy. It is crazy to see how far I have come. But I will not be looking at that note again as I burnt it. Because My eldest is 13. The last thing I need is for him to find it and read it. Past is best left there xx
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
All of my old journals went missing about 10 years ago and I really wish I could get them back too. I used to get them out to read all the time to try and remember the good times.
Geetha Geeths!! 2 years ago (edited)
i had a journal like that too but when i got a glance of it after 2 years when i got a lil better i just couldn't read a line it was like my body still remembered everything and i felt trapped and that was the last time I'd ever opened it . but recently when i tried again this time it felt so messy and headache-like looking at confused overwhelming things i couldn't understand why i even wrote it like that and man so much pressure i don't know why, so I sent it to its locker again.
#31
My creativity. I made beautiful things: jewelry, paintings, sculptures...but it's all gone now. I feel like the brightest, most vital part of me died.
Final score:
10points
DarkGlassSphere 2 years ago
Just a period. Some time later new spark appear but on a new level.
#32
My older brothers. I thought they loved me, and maybe they did at one point. But they abandoned me just the same
Final score:
10points
Darkwing Duck (she/he/they) (Submission author) 2 years ago
There's not much to it really. I was about 6 and they were pretty much the coolest people in the world to me. They were technically my half brothers, but little me didn't understand that. I just thought it was normal for them to be gone every other week. I remember sitting on the driveway and waiting for them to walk home from the bus stop like usual and they never came. I haven't seen or heard from them since. It seemed like they loved me, but then again I have only a couple memories with each brother and I was 6(there were 3) so yeah they abandoned their 6yo sibling seemingly without a second thought
Load More Replies... Glen Ellyn 2 years ago
I feel your pain. Three of my four brothers have cut me from their lives. I'm thankful that the fourth brother is still in touch and we talk every week (he lives about 50 miles away).
Darkwing Duck (she/he/they) (Submission author) 2 years ago
It means a lot to have someone truly understand. I'm glad one of your brothers still keeps in touch :)
Load More Replies... Satan 2 years ago
As an older brother myself, I'd be absolutely heartbroken if I had to leave my 3 younger siblings, I don't think I could live with myself. Do you know if they had any say in the matter?
Darkwing Duck (she/he/they) (Submission author) 2 years ago
I'm not entirely sure, but mostly sure. I know they didn't leave on good terms with my parents. They had been arguing with my parents a lot the few days before they left. They left and I can only assume they went to live at their mom's house. I'm an older sibling now and can't imagine leaving my siblings for the same reasons as you
Load More Replies... #33
My cat mittens she was the sweetest bestest cat ever I had her for almost 10 years she died at around 18 I think and she was part of many of my best childhood memories
Final score:
10points
#34
My 30s. I have the best memories from then.
Final score:
9points
#36
My Rapunzel locks, my previous health, my previous friendships.
Final score:
9points
#37
My legs and half of my fingers.. my happiness and will to live. I became a triple amputee 8.5 years ago and I HATE what I am now and I hate being here… I fought to survive for my mum, niece and nephews.. I KNOW I’m a disappointment and I feel it every single day, and if it wasn’t for the fact that I would disappoint those 4 people even more if I ‘left this plateau’.. I wouldn’t be here… I fight this battle every day and it’s been an even darker than usual time for the last few weeks…
Final score:
9points
Tamra 2 years ago
I'm so sorry you're suffering. On some level you do know that your loss would greatly affect the people who love you. And they love you for a reason. If you lose hope in yourself, try and hang on to the fact that there are people in your life who believe you add value to theirs.
Tina Kathrarg 2 years ago
8.5 years is a long time to be struggling to make a new life. I have to agree with Tamra, there are people who love you and would miss you terribly if you were gone. Please try to get help for your depression. Once the burden of depression is lifted, you'll be able to think clearly and realize what you still have. You have people who love you, you have tremendous strength to endure difficulties that would crush others, you have great insight and empathy to realize how much you would be missed and the fact that you have done the hard part (going on when you want to give up) shows that you are very caring to those around you. I know it's hard to imagine that things can ever be different, but that's the depression. You may discover that you have a talent for uplifting others who are dealing with life altering trauma because you're doing it now. When you're in a healthier state, you'll be able to speak from experience as to what is possible to overcome. You are NOT a disappointment!
Doodles1983 2 years ago
If you fight to stay with them, you’re never a disappointment. I can’t imagine the literal and psychological pain you must be in, I hope you can access support for both.
#38
So... when I was in like grade 2, I was bullied very badly. There was this girl who was the more popular kid in my class and she had actually been kinda neutral towards me so felt very much like the closest thing I had to a friend. That girl could do cartwheels, I absolutely couldn't but she invited me to come try to do a cartwheel with the other girls. I absolutely failed but I blame part of it maybe on a ring that I was wearing which was cutting into my finger (I had snuck it out of the house in my pocket, my parents would have never let me wear jewelry let alone a ring to school when I was 6). So one of the girls who was a friend of hers but had started bullying me that year (but that recess had been very nice to me) suggested I take off the ring and try again. I was really eager to try to fit in, I really wanted friends so I did. Still couldn't do a cartwheel, some of the kids laughed. The popular girl tried to help me before giving up and moving onto someone else. I went to get my ring and it was gone. I began to absolutely panic. It had been a little gold ring with my first initial on it and was a gift from a family member who lived in a different country-- it ended up being the last thing they would give me before passing away. So I'm looking for this ring and the girl that would bully me starts laughing and being very patronizing. I assume she must have my ring so come over to her which causes her friends to laugh and his to come over pushing me... all that fun stuff. She ends up taking the ring from one of the guys, walking to a large metal drain grate and dropping it all the way down. I tell at her ans her really upset and am crying, kids made fun of me and it turns into a brawl. Recess ends and I refuse to go inside because I think my parents will be upset me if they think In lost the ring. The TA genuinely tries to help get the ring but can't and my mum gets called to pick me up early because I am being very obstinate. I didn't dare wear jewelry again to school for years. I never trusted any of the girls in my class at that school after that. Most importantly, I never attempted another cartwheel and seldom did anything outside my comfort zone in front of others after that.
Final score:
9points
Hales M (Submission author) 2 years ago (edited)
Wow swiping really let me down. *I yell at her and I'm really upset
#39
I moved across the US in late 2021. I had a really awful experience with a scummy scammer and lost a lot of stuff. My books can be replaced (and have been), but I really miss the butterfly and orchid artwork I did as a teenager. Before Diamond Dotz was a thing, I was copying cross-stitch patterns with flower-shaped hole punched paper. I also lost my Christmas ornaments and fridge magnets, so many memories now that only exist in my mind.
Final score:
8points
Hamster_infront_of_Futur 2 years ago
i lost my dorm luggage too in covid and the hysterically annoying and funny thing is I forgot some of the important things I had there for 2 years. (I couldn't even remember what were those which were memories of my college life), i was literally angry with myself(i still am) how could i forget? personally, i had a lot of things going on at the time it happened so it didn't matter to me but when I shook off the problems a bit and when I realized what was happening it was already gone and it is my fault now for not realizing it sooner.
#40
My childhood body. I'm still pretty young but I'm sick of my current health issues and yearn for the years without those problems. Heart issues suck. (It's why I don't have a body anymore)
Final score:
8points
DarkGlassSphere 2 years ago
You may get better. One my friend was diagnosed with cardiac defect when he was a child. His mom cried every day, but he is about to face his old ages coming. He is ok. I know too many cases, when heart heals when it feels impossible, even for doctors.
#41
Hope
Final score:
8points
ric carter 2 years ago
I'll skip the human tragedies (personal, familial, social) and mourn being robbed of a Takamine 12-string guitar I had just bought with my last cash.
#42
I wish I could have my health back. In 2012, I was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer. I spent about a year and a half going through surgeries, chemo, radiation and more surgery. I was good for almost 10 years and got to see my son grow up which is all I really wanted. Then I found out that my tumor markers were going up and the cancer was now stage 4. Although incurable, I was told that it's only in my bones which has a better prognosis, but 2 months later I was in the hospital for 2 weeks with fluid around my lungs and heart. This finally went away, but I now have chronic pain in my chest that started after I used a new treatment. I haven't taken the drug since November and the pain has not improved. Ironically, my tumor markers continued to rise while taking the drug, but after stopping it, they are at their lowest since before my official diagnosis. The cancer is now in new places, but still only in my bones. It's been almost a year and a half since it came back and I still don't have a treatment plan that works without causing worse side effects. I'm not sure if I will make it 5 years or more as originally estimated if we don't find a treatment. I'm also afraid that the next one may cause other irreversible problems, but I have to keep trying.
Final score:
8points
Tina Kathrarg (Submission author) 2 years ago
Thanks to those who wish me well. Your kindness is appreciated. 🙂
Tamra 2 years ago
I'm so sorry you're going through this. It must be so frustrating, painful and scary. I think many of us take our health for granted, but when something like this happens, it's pretty much all-consuming. I wish you the very best of outcomes, and strength for your fight against this.
Tina Kathrarg (Submission author) 2 years ago
Thanks Tamra. I usually don't notice who posts what because there are so many people, but I just noticed that you always seem to have kind words for someone who needs to hear them & I find myself agreeing with you. I hope your kindness comes back to you 100x! 🙂
Load More Replies... DarkViolet 2 years ago
Don't give up hope. I had stage 3 uterine cancer that came back. There's a treatment out there with your name on it. Don't let the bastard win by default.
#43
My grandparents wedding rings. They passed away 20 years ago. The only thing my brother asked for was their wedding rings. My grandmother died first and my Dad bought my Grandfather a beautiful gold chain to wear my Grandmother's wedding ring around his neck. She wore that ring for 60 years. My Grandfather had a ring made for their 30th wedding anniversary that he wore. My brother wore the rings around his neck everyday until the chain broke. I put the chain and rings in a ziplock baggie and in my purse when we were moving. The baggie must have fell out. We never saw the rings again. All my Grandparents' other jewelry was stolen when my parents moved. I had asked my Dad for one of my Grandmother's rings when she died but he wanted to keep everything together. Now all we have are the memories.
Final score:
7points
#45
my ex best friend. they cut contact after they found out i had a crush on them and i regret it every day
Final score:
7points
Harshini G Saravanan 2 years ago
same thing happened to me not really a best friend but a close one.
#46
Random people I played a very successful Minecraft server with. I have the server, I just need the people (and computer)s.
Final score:
7points
#47
My motivation for school. At the beginning, I was excited, and most importantly, motivated to work. But now, it has perished.
Final score:
7points
#48
Most of my joy in life. It's not entirely gone, but it's not fully there. The worst part is I know it will get worse. Even though it will, I still appreciate the small things. Life is short, you have to live it while you still have happiness :)
Final score:
7points
#49
I lost my precious, talented, lovely, much loved daughter to the disease of alcoholism.
Final score:
7points
Tamra 2 years ago
I am so, so sorry. Inadequate words, really, in the face of such a horrific loss. I am a recovering alcoholic, and I know very well what this disease takes from you, and the damage it does to the people we love. It takes everything, and sometimes our lives. I can only say this: it is not your fault. And I hope you already know that. There is no amount of love, no amount of pleading, reasoning, intervening or supporting a person can provide that can save another from this disease. And as a mother, I know that must be absolute hell. No words can ease such a loss, but I hope that, in time, you are able to find some kind of peace. I really do.
Sara Bardsley (Submission author) 2 years ago
I got my 30 year chip in May. Even grieving, my sobriety still must come first. Thank you
Load More Replies...
Tamra 2 years ago
I'm so sorry, Karen. Please see my comment above to Sara, as it definitely applies to you to. May you find some peace.
Load More Replies... #50
My innocence and my childhood that I’m young enough to still have. I had to grow up too quickly and now I’ve lost younger me. I can remember when my mom and I would go to this pumpkin patch for Halloween and I would bring my favorite stuffed animal (that I do still have) and pick out a pumpkin to make a face out of. I miss having peanut butter and jelly for lunch every day and lying about the fact that I would make my own lunch because I thought it was cool, but now I’m too old to be doing little kid things and I just want to do everything I stopped doing when I should’ve still been doing them. I miss playing on playgrounds and making friends with any random kid because I wasn’t so skeptical of every single human being. I miss not thinking about politics and not dealing with stupid drama and not liking family members for being d***s when I used to just think of everybody as people who loved me, and that’s all that mattered. I miss having at least one parent home for most of the time and I miss being told that I couldn’t waste my money on robux because that was the most of my worries. I miss staying up all night watching Minecraft YouTubers and getting super excited when my babysitter let me stay up until nine o clock. I miss when I would get “mad” at someone for stealing the rubber bands for my rainbow looms. I miss when i wasn’t so disgustingly ugly and I wish I could go back and stop being so self conscious because when I look at pictures, I think of how cute I was, and I wish I felt comfortable in clothes still. I miss getting little crushes on someone and being scared to tell them because you thought they’d reject you, and not falling head over heels for someone and not telling them because you thought they’d reject you and stop talking to you when they’re one of your closest friends. I miss when i didn’t curse so much and when I didn’t even know what a slur was. I miss learning about queer people and just thinking it’s cool instead of having so many people tell you how wrong it is and make up facts that have been disproven because they watch too much Fox News. Lastly, I miss the friends I don’t talk as much to anymore because we don’t have time, and when we see each other we’re the happiest people on earth, but still don’t see each other often. I’m literally crying right now because I’m still just a kid and now I can’t redo my childhood no matter how much I want to. Thanks for reading this, and yes, I’m still sad.
Final score:
7points
Shiba Inu 2 years ago
Same. I definitely grew up way faster that I should have. Wish I could go back to when I was 4-5.
Realistic_Lemons (any) (Submission author) 2 years ago
Me too. Even 6-7 would’ve been fine, but now it’s not like that anymore.
Load More Replies... Realistic_Lemons (any) (Submission author) 2 years ago
Thanks! I’m sending some for you too!
Load More Replies... #51
My best friend of over 17 years. I'm a paramedic and when I had my first bad call and started suffering from PTSD, my friendships started crumbling. I hoped I'd be able to count on you the way I had my whole life, but it's been over two years since we've so much as liked a social media post from each other. I miss you and it breaks my heart that you got married without me, but I'm tired of reaching out with no response.
Final score:
7points
#52
My home town. It's still there, in CA, but it's as sad, run down, filled with homeless and impossible to afford as the rest of the state. Died about 20 years ago, even though the corpse still jerks now and then.
Final score:
6points
nia not long 2 years ago
Sounds like San Francisco. I feel the same about Oakland. It wasn't always how it is now and so much has changed about it in the worst ways, since I was a child. Then again, it still wouldn’t be the same even if the city stayed the same because a majority of the people I spent time with then are no longer here.
#53
My mind......
Final score:
6points
#54
Being able to just....go. Wakeing up at 5 in the morning and thinking "I'm going to ride the motorbike down to see my friends today. I can be there by 10 for brunch"
Final score:
6points
#55
A functioning UK government. UK politics stopped working the day after the referendum. Some of us are just embarrassed about the state of the place.
Final score:
6points
Elizabeth VanDyke 2 years ago
Here in the USA we had a criminal as president for 4 years, finally got him out of office and now the republiclown party is trying to get him re-elected!
#57
My family...I was incarcerated and b/c of my mistakes, my family has written me off. I would love to reconnect with them someday.
Final score:
6points
Tamra 2 years ago
This sounds like a situation that may just take time. Trust takes time to rebuild (from personal experience), and you can't hurry things along. In that time, the best you can do is just the next right thing, one after the other, to the best of your ability. After time, you may or may not get these people back, but in the meantime you will have built a life you can be proud of. Just tackle the day in front of you, one thing at a time. You've got this.
Lez Be Honest (Submission author) 2 years ago
Thank you so much for your kind words. They mean a lot! I know I have to take it one day at a time and that is exactly what I am doing. I am a better person than ever before, a person that I can be proud of. That is the important thing. For the first time in my life I can honestly say that I am living with integrity.
Load More Replies... #58
Everything my mother ever donated or threw away without my knowledge/permission.
Final score:
6points
#60
my selfishness (carelessness) and my self esteem + my mental + emotional stability
Final score:
6points
#61
my health and ability to walk. You don't appreciate it until it's taken away..
Final score:
6points
Frances Pitchoune 2 years ago
I understand you so much. I was young and ran an "official race" (not a Marathon, just a 10k, but my first). I was very badly advised by a trainer, and my knees were destroyed. I was not even 40 years old. Now I have a lot of difficulty just walking or climbing stairs.
#62
My virginity
Final score:
5points
DarkViolet 2 years ago
Same here. Along with the innocence of youth, both stolen by predators.
Marinasongs1432 2 years ago
The predators haunt my mind every damn day, and I hope they'll go away, I can barely live with them infesting my head.
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#63
My luggage that Lufthansa airlines lost on July 2, 2022 on a flight from Berlin - Frankfurt - Paris. I only care about my daughter's jewelry box that we didn't know was inside the bag (by mistake!) There is my camera/accessories/shoes/all my travel stuff and my prescription eyeglasses too. The staff forced us to check all our bags because they said the flight was full. All I want is her jewelry which are low in value but priceless in sentiment.
Final score:
5points
Maya 2 years ago
Does it look average or does it have a specific feature ? We always go through the 'cemetery of lost luggage' before the customs at CDG airport, I could have a quick look just in case
Elizabeth Hall Conley (Submission author) 2 years ago
I have many photos of the bag. It’s a teal blue Calpak duffle with a luggage tag on it. I now have Apple Airtags on all my bags. I did go to CDG but it wasn’t there. No one on our flight got our bags at CDG, they were all delivered a few days later.
Load More Replies... #64
My good name. To have the trust I onced had from colleagues, friends, and people close to me.
Final score:
5points
#65
Wearing high heels. I injured one foot only slightly, and now i can only wear flats. I'm only 5'2" and everything about my wardrobe has had to change.
Final score:
5points
Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 2 years ago
How about platforms or whatever they're called if ur insecure about ur height
#67
My son and every piece of my life that has changed for the worst in the eight years he's been gone. Tragedies like his change every single person involved as well as every single dynamic you knew as normal before. Shits crazy.....
Final score:
5points
#68
My adventurousness and fearlessness. I used to laugh at heights (providing I knew I was relatively safe) and just go on the fast, looping high rides. And then I started watching fair ride accident videos. Started thinking about what would happen if I fall or slip while wall climbing, or if something in the harness breaks. I'm so disappointed in myself for giving up half way up that wall just because I looked down. Fair rides? I went on a few recently at a fair. All I can describe it now is 2-3 minutes of being stuck in survival mode, trying not to get injured too badly and keep in my seat. I left with bruised ribs and tailbone.
Final score:
5points
#69
My purple dice. I got it when I was 4 and I stuffed a letter from my friend in it and it’s gone :(
Final score:
5points
#70
My normal happy life. Too much stress day after day in my life now.
Final score:
5points
#71
My childhood, my younger self, my healthy self.. I wish I could go back to the days I lost over nothing.
Final score:
5points
#72
My old bored panda account. Apparently my school decided I can no longer use my school email for my bp account, so I had to make a new one. My old one wasn't deleted, but I can't access it anymore.
Final score:
4points
Aqsa Azam 2 years ago
I had a storybird account in my tweens-early teens and I was so proud of it! It was a joyful and fun place to be but they moved to a subscription structure and I lost all my work; my stories and my poems. I miss that place. I read so many stories there that I would love to revisit and many that I would love to read.
#73
My dad's side of my family. We had a very small but close family and have lost everyone but me and him (my dad). First my great grandfather then 3 years later my great grandmother, then my aunt (which was a complete shock and unexpected and hurts to this day because we were so close), grandmother a year and a half after and then just recently my grand father. I miss my family and nothing is how I thought it would be at age 28. They won't be here to see me get married or even have children which they'd have been surprised about since I told them I didn't see it in my future. I know it's a part of God's plan but I'll admit I miss them so much
Final score:
4points
#74
Honestly I miss my grandma and great nana (nana passed) grandma I can no longer trust. I'm no contact with my mum because of abuse my whole childhood and adult hood and then I could see the abuse my children were going through at the hands of her and wanted better. So I stopped contact. My grandma doesn't agree. She believes that mum deserves more chances ext. But I can't risk my children.
Final score:
4points
RachyLou92 (Submission author) 2 years ago
Thing is. They were my salvation from a very unhappy childhood. They were the only positive In such a dark place. But they can't see that I need to not let my children get damaged like I was. They deserve better and I will protect them and love them. Its hard but my children have to be the most important thing. Always. My babies are the next generation. I don't want them having the same issues I do. I can barley leave the house. Barely speak to people. I lost all self worth and confidence.
#75
My stuffed animal cat "Peanut butter" my brother threatened to throw it away because it was in the room he was cleaning but I was distracted and told him to do whatever he wants with it, I didn't think he'd actually throw it out. He did. On garbage day.
Final score:
4points
RayRayBean (Submission author) 2 years ago
I didn't think he'd actually do it!
Load More Replies... #76
my selfishness (carelessness) and my self esteem + my mental + emotional stability
Final score:
4points
#77
My trust in people. When you know people hate you: yeah, it's okay, you deal with that over time. But the people you love and trust: it breaks your heart. Unfortunately, we never get over it.
Final score:
4points
#78
My 1.5 carat emerald cut diamond and platinum engagement/wedding band set. It had cracked from the pressure of my fingers, which had grown over 20+ years, and I took it off and put it in a purse in my closet, intending to take it to the jeweler for repair. My husband and I were going through marital issues and, as I was upset with him, I wasn’t in a huge hurry to take the set in, though I certainly planned to do so eventually. Unfortunately, he died suddenly, I ended up selling the house and downsizing, and well-meaning family and friends helped me take things to charity stores. I didn’t notice the purse missing till much later, and by then it was gone without a trace. I never filed a police report or insurance claim because I felt it was my own stupidity that led to the loss, but the ring was not only sentimental but beautiful and worth at least $20,000, possibly much more, as it was certified and nearly flawless.
Final score:
4points
What do you think ?
Claudia Stieble 2 years ago
There is not much I want back, but the first on my list would be my little sister who is gone now for more than 6 years, but I still miss her weekly calls. The second and last point on my list are my 3 fur babies who I also lost way before their time. Miss you, buddies.
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
It is so hard losing a sibling. It's been 21 years since my older brother died, and 13 since my youngest brother died. I still think of them almost every day. I hope you are able to hang onto the good memories.
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Ruth Harper 2 years ago
So I had this teddy bear that I got on my first Christmas. It went everywhere with me, even into adulthood. I was on a trip to Serbia, and I left him in the hotel. I wish I still had him.
Claudia Stieble 2 years ago
There is not much I want back, but the first on my list would be my little sister who is gone now for more than 6 years, but I still miss her weekly calls. The second and last point on my list are my 3 fur babies who I also lost way before their time. Miss you, buddies.
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
It is so hard losing a sibling. It's been 21 years since my older brother died, and 13 since my youngest brother died. I still think of them almost every day. I hope you are able to hang onto the good memories.
Load More Replies... Ruth Harper 2 years ago
So I had this teddy bear that I got on my first Christmas. It went everywhere with me, even into adulthood. I was on a trip to Serbia, and I left him in the hotel. I wish I still had him.
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