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Any member of the LGBTQ+ community will probably tell you that coming out can be many things: difficult, heartbreaking, or on the contrary - beautiful and freeing. Our readers were asked to share coming-out stories of their own, and the submissions were flooded with emotional messages.
We’re hoping that reading these can raise awareness about this important topic and maybe even inspire some closeted people to be more courageous and confident about themselves.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
It wasn't planned.
My parents left one day to go shopping and I was running around screaming "I'M GAY!"
Turns out they came back early. Lesson learned and embarrassment received.
Final score:
154points
Viviane 4 years ago
One of my classmates in art school did the same. No, he wasn't alone, a bunch of us were hanging out and several were napping. The nappers opened their eyes, saw that it was Leo making the ruckus and went right back to sleep. All good.
ThatBiBookLover 3 years ago
Lol! The straight-but-acts-gay one in my class is named Leo!
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RELATED:
#2
The first time I was about 7 years old, and my father did NOT take it well that his "son" was now his daughter. Mom somehow convinced him it was "just a phase", which worked great until he got sick of it when I was 9. That's when he decided to commit a federal crime against me and threaten to keep doing that to me every night until I gave in and started acting like a boy. Traumatic, to say the least! It took me about 30 years to undo the damage and find myself again.
Joke's on him, I'm out to my friends and family now (I was quite direct in telling them and they're all cool with it) and he's living alone in an RV miles away and hated by all of his relatives.
Final score:
137points
Abused-waitingforlawstochange 3 years ago
this seems like a trend!! räping your trans child to stop him from being trans wether they are mtf like you or just want a flat chest like me (so female body) so you know (I've lived this first hand) they do it in conversion therapy camps too :( thankfully neither times I got pregnant 😔
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Sky Render (Submission author) 4 years ago
I agree! Even if it's been 30 years, the damage he did to me is still very real. I don't know if there's any sort of statute of limitations on this sort of thing, but if there is then there is something fundamentally wrong with our culture.
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Sky Render (Submission author) 3 years ago
Fun addendum to this: in the intervening year since I shared this (they must have recycled an old article for it getting so many comments...), I discovered that I am in fact intersex and predominantly have female reproductive anatomy. So yeah, I am simultaneously a trans and cis woman! Figure that one out.
cheryl strickland 4 years ago
God we underestimate how horrid people can be. I'm guessing he had homosexual tendencies he took out on you.
she/they and definitely gay 4 years ago (edited)
so horrible that he did that to you, if you were born in the wrong body and are female now nobody should say anything bad because it's how you feel. Congrats on coming out though.
Aeon Flux 4 years ago
It's not "if you want to be," she/they. It's "if you are."
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colorfultragedy 3 years ago (edited)
This "God is Love, Trump 2024" guy is an absolute piece of s**t
Éowyn The Detransitioner 3 years ago
Agreed :( Does anyone know if there's a way to get their comment deleted / get them banned? It's REALLY not ok to post homophobic hate all across Bored Panda
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Sky Render (Submission author) 3 years ago
"Pedophilia" is the delicate way of phrasing it.
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#3
I didn't tell them. I had a TikTok and they were blocked on there. They stole my phone saw it and told me that they are the only people who will ever love me if continue on with this stuff.
I am a genderfluid, asexual, and lesbian by the way. They took away all of my social media and here I am using bored panda because I am bored.
Final score:
114points
HooowlAtTheMoon 4 years ago
I'm so sorry, if you need someone to talk to, i'm here (im a gender confused asexual demiromantic lesbian if that matters)
Squawkleo 3 years ago
Genuine question; I'm still learning.... How can you be asexual and lesbian at the same time? Please be kind..... Just trying to understand. ❤️💛💚💙💜
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Holly Finn 4 years ago
I'm incredibly sorry. Know that you are loved and worthy of love regardless of your identity. I'm sorry your parents are choosing a controlling approach instead of creating a loving environment where you can be your most authentic self. Keep your head up, keep being who you are and true to yourself. Don't let your parents dim your light or doubt what you know to be true.
Onion Cutting Ninja 3 years ago
please dont downvote: genuinly asking: how can you be asexual and lesbian?
ThatBiBookLover 3 years ago
Asexual doesn’t mean aromantic - it simply means you aren’t interested in sex. This means that you can be romantically interested into women and yet not want to rail them. Source: someone who confused herself for an aroace :D
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Kitti B. 4 years ago
I'm so sorry for your bad experience of your parents finding it out like that :( Can I have a question? How can an asexual be lesbian? You're attracted to females but only on a romantic,non-sexual way?
Aay (they/them) (Submission author) 4 years ago
Yes. I am romantically attracted to females, just not in a s*xual way.
Load More Replies... cheryl strickland 4 years ago
I'm so sorry. I had 2 gay great uncle's that never had a long term relationship bc it was so taboo back then. They're both gone now, but they were better to us than our own parents a lot of the time. We raised our children tolerance and compassion so they also embrace human beings for who they are no matter their color, religion, nationality or sexual orientation. Don't hate people for things they have no control over.
Elizabeth Molloy 4 years ago
You won't be there forever, although it may feel like it sometimes. When you're an adult you can go and live your life and be HAPPY!
oddly_informed_raven 3 years ago
I'm also genderfluid, ace, and lesbian! but I use microlabels under all of those
Amy Taylor 3 years ago
I'm so sorry :( I'm a mother to a daughter who came out to me at 14 years old last year. Her girlfriend's parents say they still love her, but they will try and "pray the gay away". They spend a lot of time at my house where they are both loved and totally accpted for exactly who they are :)
#4
Not me but my wife's husband is gay and his coming story just shows what a great family they are. When he decided to tell his mom and dad he is gay his mom's answer was: "Honey!! I made you. I knew it before you could even know it yourself. And I couldn't care less. Be who you have to be. I love you. I'm proud of you. I just want you to be a respectable and happy man" and his dad ran out of the room to bring back a bottle of champagne they were keeping to open it when their son would feel safe and strong enough to tell them. I wish everybody had parents like them. The world would be a better place!!
Final score:
110points
Dogs accept all (She/They) 1 year ago
That's how I came out to my mom, I called my dad a day later. Both were supportive.
Potterhead 0-0 3 years ago
@god is love, trump 2024 God loves everyone- if you’re a real christian you would know that. And all gays aren’t going to burn in hell 🙄 it depends on their relationship with God
#5
I just told my friends and they went: "Wait, we're supposed to be surprised?? Quick, guys!!"
Final score:
104points
Laura Ketteridge 3 years ago
A friend of my daughter worked himself into a huge emotional mess, and announced he was gay. Everyone said, "Yeah, we know. We've known for years.' Apparently he was the last one to find out.
Onion Cutting Ninja 3 years ago
when my friend came out to me, i just said, "cool." she thanked me a lot for not making a big deal out of it and for accepting her. Different people want different reactions.
#6
Well, my mother's kind of against my sexuality. But I wrote her a letter about me being bi. She hasn't answered yet, but my foster family is with me and supporting me!
Final score:
101points
Aeon Flux 4 years ago
Against her kid's sexuality, maybe. Or maybe she had a bad experience.
Load More Replies... StrangeLittleThing 4 years ago
(I'm so sorry if this comes out rude, I'm known to be blunt) Why does your mother need to know? Like because you have a foster family?
Suraj A R 4 years ago
I too have the same point of view. Good or bad, there was no need to inform your mother, unnecessarily making her suffer when you knew she will not take the news well.
Load More Replies... #7
My dad pretty much ditched me and my mom when I was two so never had the greatest relationship. Cut to high school graduation and he feels the need to reach out so he invites me to his wedding. He told me it was his fifth so he wanted to poke fun at the institution so he was having it on Halloween and it would be a costume party. Well, in his absence he’d neglected to realize I’d been recently employed as a full time drag queen. I knocked on his door in full drag: a skintight leather catsuit, leather waist clincher, long black hair, stiletto boots, the works. When he opened the door he took one look at me then leaned back and shouted to his wife, “Honey, did you hire a hooker?” “No, dad, it’s me.” Best. Revenge. Ever.
Final score:
100points
The Doom Song 3 years ago
I bet you looked FABULOUS!!! Should have taken a pic of the old man's face I bet it was priceless
#8
I just listened to "A Little Bit" performed by Alex Brightman on full volume the whole day and my dad thought it was a funny song so he showed it to my mom and told her that I showed it to him, and she listened to it, then looked my in the eyes and said "Are you gay?" and I said "yeah" and started crying. then she asked a bunch of questions and it was nice.
Then I accidentally came out as genderqueer to my mom the other day bc I was crying about insecurities and stuff and she was like "oh but you're so so beautiful, don't worry!" and I went "I don't wanna be beautiful, I wanna be handsome!" and then my mom was kinda like "Oh... I need to know.... what are your pronouns my dear?" and I said I don't know. She told me it was okay, I could still be figuring it out.
And to my friends I just told them something random and I ended it with "anyways girls are hot", and they were like "WAIT" most of them were okay with it, one came out to me at the same time. One literally started the conversation by calling me a lesbian and winking at me I was like "what how did you know" apparently he'd known longer than I knew lol. One went on a rant about how the bible says I'm sinning and how I'm going to hell (I told her praise satan, she wasn't ready for that. she eventually learned to deal with it because me and that other lesbian who came out to me at the same time were her only friends lol). One did the CLASSIC "so do you have a crush on ME?" and I did at the time so that wasn't a good look for lesbians.
Final score:
96points
HooowlAtTheMoon (Submission author) 4 years ago
i know, the irony, right?
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Onion Cutting Ninja 3 years ago
Bible dosent ever say that. I am strongly religious, AND strongly an ally to the LGBTQIA+ community
VeninTheNonBinaryRogue 4 years ago
If anyone says I’m gonna go to hell, I’m just going to tell them to send me a postcard 🤷😂
#9
My coming out wasn't dramatic, because I know my parents support LGBTQ+, but I wasn't planning on coming out, because I think people shouldn't need to come out, as we are on the same level in importance as CisHet people. I think you should just say your pronouns, and that's it.
But of course, there are still people who think that LGBTQ+ is wrong, which is sad. Anyway, I just kind of mentioned I was Lesbian to my dad, at the dinner table, and my sister, who was also there. I don't know if they told my mom, but later when I accidentally mentioned it to her, she just acted like she already knew.
Final score:
94points
HooowlAtTheMoon 4 years ago
well that's nice. a lot of parents kind of realize it before you, they're good at reading their kids like that. i don't even know why i was scared to come out, my parents are so supportive of lgbtq that they stopped going to church because they didn't want us exposed to homophobia. and they are love church, so thats a big thing for them, and we're Christians so thats really cool to me.
Nicola Dimigen (Submission author) 4 years ago
My dad is also very Christain, but he doesn't go to church because he doesn't like what is said there. He also says that Jesus said love everyone so he thinks that what the church is preaching is just wrong, and not Christain. He basicly says that anyone who says that they are Christain, but doesn't support the LGBTQ+ community isn't a real Christain.
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James016 3 years ago
An old colleague of mine was telling me about when he came out to his parents, he was very nervous and sat them down and plucked up the courage to just say that he was gay. His parents' reaction was "Yeah we know that already" When he asked how they knew, they just said that he was their son and they just knew.
Louloubelle 4 years ago
My daughter came out simply because she was transgender and wanted to get various medical treatments and procedures. But she didn't have to tell me. I knew when she was a toddler that this is probably the way it was going to be. But she needed to do things in her own time and way. I just wish she had told me earlier, so she could have gotten hormones earlier.
Uglyemo Rat 4 years ago
I made a joke to my friend and she figured it out...to my family I was just outed ngl
Val 4 years ago
EXACTLY! Why would anyone have to come out? If you think about it, how sick is it actually to have the need to know which gender someone would prefer to have sex with?
Louloubelle 4 years ago
My son has mentioned a few times that he is bi. I never knew that, and frankly, I don't want to know who he sleeps with. He's 21. My attitude is, let's just assume at 21, that you're having sex. I don't need particulars.
Load More Replies... #10
I got a frying pan, walked up to my Mum, and said: "Hi Mum, look at this amazing pan! You should hang it up on the wall because it reminds you of me!" She looked at me like a was an idiot. So I said, "It's a pan, and I'm a pan..." It didn't work and I didn't feel like explaining. So I'm not out yet.
Final score:
86points
StrangeLittleThing 4 years ago
All I can imagine now is a girl with a pixie cut (sorry if your not but that's just what I imagined) in like the kitchen section of a shop holding a frying pan and saying 'Hi Mum, look at this amazing pan!'
Melinda Farkas 3 years ago
i mean... explaining being pan... to your mom...seems very unnecesarry...and difficult... might just say whenever you fins someone you actually want to be in a relationship with... that...yeap... they are my choice of partner... i like them... they are nice... and that´s it. I am bi and told my mother only when i had a girlfriend because that looked out of frame...and all she said was.... "well if you like it with her, then who am i to tell you do not do it."
Slay Queen 3 years ago
God Is Love, Trump 2024 if god hates gays why did he create them also if your homophobic then why are you reading this???
#11
This is the opposite of what was asked, but I moved across the country to San Francisco when I was 20. I'd met this guy Mike and hung out with him a lot, when I'd call home I'd talk to my parents about him and things we did together. Finally Christmas time came along and I said I was going to come home and bring a friend along whose parents were out of the country for Christmas. Mom of course said "Great! We're looking forward to meeting your friend!" My parents seemed surprised at the airport when I got off the plane, hand in hand with my girlfriend, Christine. Later that day when we were alone my mom asked "Wait, where is Mike? Isn't he your boyfriend!?" When I said "No.... he's my friend." She said "Oh my god, we thought you were gay and weren't ready to come out yet! We thought Christine was Mike's friend" Then it hit me, I'd been pretty quiet about my relationship with my girlfriend when talking to my parents, I really only only mentioned her in context with Mike like "I went out to dinner with Mike and Chris". And I remembered that when we talked on the phone, Mom would ask a lot of questions about Mike, trying to give me an opening to reveal that he was my boyfriend - I always thought it weird the way she was so interested in him. So even though I'm not gay and didn't actually come out, I found that my parents would have been very accepting, which makes me pretty lucky after hearing some of the horror stories from friends whose parents who would not accept their homosexuality at all.
Final score:
81points
Laura Carney 3 years ago (edited)
I was a shy quiet (and overweight) kid in jr high and high school, never went on dates or anything, well my step-mom was always telling me, "It's okay if you like girls, your dad and I will always love and support you no matter what". Which is great, but I am straight, always have been. But it was nice to know that if I was "different" I still would have been loved. I am proud to be an ally though! Love=Love
#12
I'm going to do the time I came out to my friends, cause I still I haven't come out to my family yet. But I hope I will by the end of the month. Anyway, my friends and I were at Knotts. I think we were in line for The Log Ride, and they were asking me who my ex-crush ex-friend was. I was like, if I tell them, then I'd have to come out. But I was originally going to come out. So, I said, "Lemme get one thing straight, I'm not." A look of surprise crossed my friends' faces. They accepted me and I was so happy. Then one of my friends said "That was so smooth, I think I might use that next time." I gave her a look and she came out to us as a lesbian. My other friend also came out as bisexual too. In the end, I was glad I came out to them. They were so supportive of me. HAPPY PRIDE MONTH Y'ALL!!!
Final score:
71points
John Whick 3 years ago
Go down to user godislove,trump2024🇷🇺. Down vote him
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Autumn 4 years ago (edited)
That line..... was genius XD Also, if u want to, u can give us an update on your parents. Oh yeah, and your profile pic is awesome!
XxcallistaxX (Submission author) 4 years ago
1) thanks for the compliments! 2) I have come out to my parents but I don't think they took it that well. We had like a three hour long talk that was very aggravating about how "if I am sUpPoSeDlY bisexual, I should've done my research first" and that "You can't just bam, be bisexual." They also said "It's just a phrase" That and a comment my mom said a while ago, "I don't think you're bisexual, you're just confused," really hurt me. Like they say they love me, but I think they have internalized homophobia. It's weird because my dad is a therapist and has worked with people of all sorts but I feel they didn't accept me as bisexual. Oh! And they were also like, "Please take down anything that symbolizes the bi pride colors or anything rainbow in your room, cause I want to take this time of letting go and hopefully changing and finding out your identity," rather than accepting it in the first place. TL;DR: They did not accept me. Sorry for the truth bomb. hehe 😅
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#13
I haven't officially come out to my parents, but I drew an ace flag and hung it up, and folded up my clothes to look like an ace flag. I haven't come out to my friends because I haven't seen them in a long time, but I'm afraid they won't like me anymore.
Final score:
64points
HooowlAtTheMoon 4 years ago
I'm sure your friends will still love you, if they don't, they're toxic and not good friends. you can be whoever you want and love whoever you want. I'll be your friend, if that makes you feel better about anything.
VeninTheNonBinaryRogue 4 years ago
If you come out to your friends and they don’t like you 1. They’re not your friends, and 2.I’ll be your friend if you want
Loki’s Lil Butter Knife 4 years ago
As young homoromantic woman on the asexual spectrum (yes, aces can still display some attraction to the same sex as asexuality is one huge spectrum), I still have never come out to my parents as they don't believe that asexuality is a true sexuality despite the Trevor Centre for LGBTQIA + posting more and more studies about it. However, I am sure your friends will still love you for who you are: an awesome, kind, intelligent, courageous, unique, loving person. You are your own person on your own amazing journey. If some of your friends cannot except you for that, they never were your true friends. You will find friends along your journey in life that will love and accept you for who you are-- hold on to them as they are precious. Wishing you the very best on your coming out journey. I highly recommend that you look into ace and LGBTQIA activist, Yasmin Benoit. She is a model and activist breaking the stigma and myths surrounding asexuality, demisexuality, and aromanticism.
Reyna Avila Ramírez-Arellano 3 years ago
IDK if ur still on BP but we are sooo similar . . . ace, the character we have as our username dated/ crushed on Jason Grace . . . lol!!
Load More Replies... Chillace (Submission author) 4 years ago
the reason i think they wouldnt like me is because we used to just hang out and make dirty minded jokes, i think they wouldnt understand that
Melinda Farkas 3 years ago
well i can go on about gay sex jokes for a day or two...and i am nor a man or a homosexual... it´s ok!
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#14
This is a little unusual, but I think it fits. I've been married a long time, and always loved the romantic and fun bits leading up to sex, but not sex itself. We thought I couldn't possibly be asexual because I always enjoyed myself beforehand. My husband knew this, and we always communicated clearly about what we wanted and needed (we used to joke that we probably talked about sex before anybody else in the country!). One day, he was reading a novel where the main character described herself a "asexual, but not aromantic." He said, "Honey, I think this is you." So I guess my husband brought me out of the closet?
Final score:
61points
Jackie Porter 4 years ago
I always thought I just had no interest in sex. I'd love to have a SO but without the sex. Don't get me wrong I enjoy sex but just very infrequently and this has caused me to lose relationships due to my lack of interest. I enjoy all the other parts of a relationship and even lament that I don't have that any more. I wasn't until in an effort to understand my lgbtqia+ friends and colleagues that I found out about asexual people. I realised this was me. I'm still very much single and whilst I've been single for a long time I find I've got used to it. I still miss having a companion there with me especially at times of stress and upset but I get over myself.
#15
Yup I'm bisexual and I'm allowed to have girlfriends (I'm a female) but only allowed to marry men.
Final score:
57points
HooowlAtTheMoon 4 years ago
That's my brothers logic too. He told me it was fine that I could have a girlfriend I just couldn't marry her. Even though he's bisexual, he tells himself that he can have crushes on boys but he has to marry a girl. Internal homophobia sucks. When you turn 18, your parents can't control that, because you're technically an adult.
The Chosen One 4 years ago
...you can't get married until you're a legal adult and by then your parents don't have legal control over you anymore. You can marry whoever the bloody f*****g hell you want, mate
Serene Trabeek (Submission author) 4 years ago
I guess but they still wouldn't support me or come to my wedding and my kids (ide adopt) wouldn't have grandparents or cousins from my side of the family because they would cut off all contacts with me
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Mewton’s Third Paw 4 years ago
“Allowed” applies to children and no child is allowed to marry in most places.
Melinda Farkas 3 years ago
well if you live in Europe.... apart from some very developed countries.... it is your right to do so... not just preference of your parents :D doesj´t matter anyway... just be with who you love..because you want to...not dor shared insurance and lower taxes!
Willow 4 years ago
This is kind of like my family. I'm bisexual but only allowed to marry men if I wanted to get married? Strange. But if me or you find someone we love even if their the same gender no one can control it except for you. In the end love is love.
#16
I said “Hey, I’m asexual” and they were like,” Okay, but what do you want for lunch?”
Final score:
57points
StrangeLittleThing 4 years ago
You just came out as asexual, it had to be garlic bread, was it garlic bread???
Silre (Submission author) 4 years ago
You know, garlic bread might have been involved
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Madb vonMesser 4 years ago (edited)
Heh, I came out as Ace at lunch. Spent the rest of it trying to explain.
#17
I was in the car with them haha and then I was kinda like "hey...I'm a lesbian..." and they were like oh okay and my mom asked if I was suicidal which...thanks for caring I guess but it was kinda weird and then I just kinda mentioned gay memes and my friends picked up on it
Final score:
55points
Noelle Morrison 4 years ago
She probably thought that because a lot of LGBTQ people commit suicide, because others bully/harass them.
Easily Excitable Panda 4 years ago
For centuries, doctors and religious figures have peddled the idea that LGBTQ+ was a mental illness. So you mom may have had a knee-jerk reaction if someone in her past was harassed or killed themselves because they were gay.
Rachel Cobb 3 years ago
This is basically what happened to me. I waited until both of my parents were in the same room, told them, and they were like: "Okay..? Are wanting a support group?"
#18
After seeing Eret wearing a dress and coming out as bisexual in front of so many people inspired me, I wasn’t afraid to let my true colors shine anymore. I told my family, my friends, and grandparents. My family accepted it almost immediately :), my friends being the teenagers we are they said “POGCHAMP” which made me laugh and feel appreciated because now my friend group has one of each. My grandmother however, we had an argument, she did say that I am female, but after talking it out we decided to just not bring it up again. My grandfather was chill with it. (Btw I’m non-binary)
Final score:
52points
ThatHuskyStorm 3 years ago
I upvoted you and two others since you were needlessly downvoted
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#19
I first told by best friend before we were about to preform at a Christmas party. I told her I am gay and she just gave me a big hug. Then she was like I’m so proud of you and I still love you and care about you. Then we both cried. Then we went and preformed. Later that night I came out to rest of my friends. It was and still one of the most amazing nights of my life and wouldn’t change a thing. Ive got some advice for any closeted teens out there. I’m a teen too. I know how you feel. Constant fear and stress about people finding out your secret. Just find someone that you know will accept you. Tell them who you are. I promise that when they accept you you will feel like a GIANT weight was just lifted off your chest.
Final score:
51points
rennie roo 3 years ago
I go to a catholic school and I am so scared to come out because I did with one of my "friends" and she was like ohmygod do you have a crush on me?? and you can't change in the girls locker room anymore, it's creepy. :,( anyone have any advice
asexualotl (she/her) 3 years ago
ok high school lesbian here :) first of all, explain that lesbians/sapphics are not attracted to every girl, the same way straight girls are not attracted to every boy! this should solve the locker room stuff (also there's kind of the universal lesbian experience of being super shy in the locker room and not looking around lol). also, if your school is more conservative, i don't think you should publicly come out, but rather only to your close friends and people that you really trust. don't come out to someone until you know they support the community. good luck <3
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Heidi Beck 3 years ago
Just say to her, “ Honey, don’t kid yourself. I’m not attracted to you.” It might take a day or two to figure that out.
#20
While explaining to my parents what being aromantic means.
Final score:
47points
Cin 3 years ago
I’m glad my parents are more convinced it’s because I’m an introvert that I don’t have to explain that. I’m not even sure where exactly I fit on that spectrum.
Con O Cuinn 3 years ago
Who says you have to know? If I've one thing against the LGBTQ community it's this; not everyone needs a label. You are Cin. Doesn't need to be more complicated than that
Load More Replies... #21
Ok. My coming-out story is really not interesting. I came out to my brother with a text message, and with my parents, while we were watching tv, I was like, "Hey. I'm Bi." And they were like "Cool." I came out to by queer friends through a text message, and that's... it. Not that intristing. :)
Final score:
43points
oddly_informed_raven 3 years ago
I told my friends my pronouns (who are basically all nonbinary too) and they were basically like "yeah cool, we're not surprised"
Ms. Human Being 3 years ago
Dude, I came out to my dad by saying something a long the same lines, and he legit just said ‘bye bye’ and we haven’t talked about it since.
Ms. Human Being 3 years ago
Btw, I officially identify as panromantic, asexual
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#22
Didn't have to. It's that obvious.
Final score:
42points
Laura Ketteridge 3 years ago
I really hope that with future generations there's no need to come out as there will not have been the assumption everyone is cishet.
#23
My parents found out when my mum was accidentally added to a group chat and I didn’t realise and said my gf dumped me so I didn’t really come out to them but I came out to my friends by just telling them that I had a crush on a girl and hoping that they were supportive (they were)
Final score:
41points
Just a girl with a brain (Submission author) 4 years ago
My friend had her number and accidentally managed to add her instead of me bc she just saw the last name
Load More Replies... #24
I made a six layer cake with my brother (he knew way before my parents did and he was totally cool, just surprised) where each layer was a color of the rainbow. On the top I wrote " I
Final score:
39points
Fishwasher 4 years ago
did you accidentally press publish? That's really impressive it's hard to bake a cake like that
Draga Millani (Submission author) 4 years ago
nope I wrote a whole thing idk what happened :/
Load More Replies... 𝕁𝕖𝕟𝕟𝕪𝔹𝕖𝕖 4 years ago
What did u write on top? It cut off at the end reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
#25
Bi. Knew my mother was supportive and just told her, but was unsure about my father. Me and him got chatting over wrapping some christmas presents for family, and he made it known offside that he was perfectly fine with LGBT+. So I told him too, he shrugged and said that it's fine, and jokingly said to add girls to the list of people to bring forward for marriage proposals.
Final score:
36points
#26
I was planning to do something big, but I ended up just going up to my parents and saying “ Hey, I’m bi.” Thankfully my parents are very supportive- they bought me a bi pride flag and earrings for the pride picnic going on in my area soon! It’ll be my first pride month out of the closet and I’m so grateful for an accepting family.
Final score:
36points
#27
I told them on the spot
Final score:
34points
#28
My mother would NOT SHUT UP about cishet intercourse so I just kinda yelled at her (after asking her to stop several times because nobody at her house was gonna do THAT) “IM GAY CAN YOU STOP NOW??!” Afterwards she didn’t believe me, and kept asking “are you reeaaally though?” And once I finally convinced her she didn’t care. Then the next day she asked me about pronouns and exact sexuality and I told her (they/them/theirs) and she hasn’t respected it since. Anytime I correct her she m arks it as disrespectful. Almost all my friends are lgbptqiaanbfd+ But I told the first at a sleepover when I was talking about a girl I liked.
Final score:
34points
HooowlAtTheMoon 4 years ago
She shouldn't tell you you're disrespectful, she's the one being disrespectful
Brian bell 3 years ago
Yeah, this is the first one that actaually made me mad. The whole turning it around BS... You can't disrespect someone by asking them to use proper pronouns!
Load More Replies... Easily Excitable Panda 4 years ago
Your mother is more than disrespectful; she's choosing to be ignorant. And talking constantly about cishet intercourse (or any other kind) TO YOUR OWN KID is just weird.
Bella, Your Kitty-Loving Queen 4 years ago
Same with me. I myself am straight, but both my friends are lgbtq, and they tend to hang out with the lgbtq kids, and the people they hang out with are also my friends, so..
StrangeLittleThing 4 years ago
... It's disrespectful to... Want to be called by your pronouns...?
#29
not dramatic for me... I literally said I was gay, then later I said I was Genderfluid... So I have to yell at my mom about my pronouns...
Final score:
30points
max martin (they/them) 4 years ago
hi! genderfluid here :). many genderfluid people (including me) are fine with any pronouns most of the time, and the only thing that fluctuates is gender expression or internal gender identity. i usually say my pronouns are they/them because it will ensure that people won't take "any pronouns" as exclusively she/her, my assigned gender at birth. so yes. unless a genderfluid person (or anyone who's gender is not immediately obvious) tells you their pronouns, you should stick to they/them. hope i answered your question :)
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#30
I just sorta mentioned it and hmthey were like ok cool and that was that.
Final score:
26points
Carla Campbell 3 years ago
My best friend (Gay male) decided to come out to his mom when he was in high school. We lived in a VERY small town. Her response: "Remember that pistol I got you for Christmas last year? Why don't you use it to blow your brains out?" I have NEVER, before or since, seen that level of hurt on a person's face. They still speak, but THAT type of talk is taboo. 😢
Mochi 3 years ago
OMG. I rlly hope he's able to cut ties with her soon,bc that a whole level of toxic he doesn't need.
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#31
Ok, I have 2 stories. 1. I had a few friends that I came out as trans to. Well, my drama class created a discord account and someone asked about everyone's name and pronouns. I told the truth but they still didn't know my preferred name. So, I sent a dm to my friend that I was already out to so she could pretend not to know about my name and ask over discord so that I could come out that way. It's much easier to come out when someone asks. She's a great friend. So anyway now I'm out to most of my drama class, but that's it. 2. I never officially came out to my family, but I told my younger sister. This was a mistake because turns out my sister doesn't know how to keep her damn mouth shut and at total random decided to blurt out that I said I "wanted to be a boy" (I don't want to be a boy I just simply am one, she hasn't quite grasped that concept yet but that's ok she was only like 6 at the time). Anyway, I started arguing with her, assuring them that it wasn't true. Do you want to know what the only defense my dumb a**e could think of was? I can't be a boy, because boys have cooties. COOTIES. THAT WAS THE ONLY THING I COULD THINK OF. Anyway I knew I screwed up, my parents obviously didn't buy it and they're super transphobic so I think they're trying to pretend they don't know but they're doing a terrible job hiding it. S**t.
Final score:
17points
Easily Excitable Panda 4 years ago
I'm sorry your family is transphobic. It's never made sense to me to do anything to love my friends and family. I hope you're able to survive that environment and stay strong!
VeninTheNonBinaryRogue 4 years ago
I never tell my sibling things like that which is why my lego town still lives. Never trust them with anything your not ready to tell, or stuff that could get you in trouble
Henry Hagens 4 years ago
If there is one thing I know, it is lego town + siblings = disaster!
Load More Replies... B0n3z_B (Submission author) 3 years ago
Update: I did come out to my parents pretty soon after I posted this and it didn't go well, I've been forced to hide who I am from my parents for my own safety at this point and I'm not allowed out of the house if I don't look 'feminine enough'. I'm not allowed to be in drama or hang out with any gay kids anymore (or at least the ones my parents think are gay) because apparently they're "confusing me". Things are pretty terrible.
Kevin Humble 3 years ago
"So anyway now I'm out to most of my drama class." - Gona gout on a limb here but - I guess no great surprise :) Glad it sounds like you have a good support group.
JustJackie 3 years ago (edited)
I knew I was a girl at 6, I also knew I was straight, so how is that any different? Reading comprehension...not so much huh?
Load More Replies... #32
Um, I tried to come out. Mom told be I was too young to be asexual. Not even gonna try to tell her I’m biromantic. She thinks I’m an extremely enthusiastic ally. I have to pretend I agree that I’m “too young for a sexuality”. My Dad and his girlfriend fully support me though so that’s nice 🥰 told them over text
Final score:
17points
Mad Dragon 4 years ago
Ugh. I got the same response from some people who say my 14-year-old is too young to say she’s a lesbian. So I said, “OK, so what age were you when you knew you were straight? Did you ever even date the same gender? How do you know for sure you’re straight if you don’t even try to be gay?”
#33
My parents thought I was going to say I was pregnant. They were relieved I was *just* bisexual.
Final score:
17points
#34
Oh, a continuation of 26, my step mother saw my pride pin this month (June) and asked, “oh, so what are you? Your friend is pan, right?” So I told her and she was kinda confused but then asked me if I had a crush on anyone (I lied and said no) and she told my dad the next day.
Final score:
16points
Silly Snek da third 0908 (Submission author) 4 years ago
Aight, still 26 idrkg
Load More Replies... #35
legit just used the ace of spade wrote "this is me" on it and shoved it under my parents' door.
Final score:
16points
the warner sister (Submission author) 4 years ago
My brother had already cut up some of the cards for a magic trick, so I bribed him with $6 and my Magic 8 Ball.
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Nicky Hands 3 years ago
As a parent & Gen x I wouldn’t have got this....but I have many LBGTQ+++++ friends so my kids have grown up knowing that all people are equal...My manta when my kids were little...You treat everybody equally...from the beggar on the side of the rd to the President, we are all human no matter where we are in life! ✌🏻✌🏻✌🏻
#36
A little over 5 years ago, I'd been talking to a girl on a dating site, asked her out and she said yes! I was in my late 20s and never had a date so I was amazed. But then came the question of how to tell my parents. I told my mother that I "might be going on a date... with a woman." That was it. I don't even remember her reaction. Never told my dad. The date never happened (she ghosted me) and my mother told me I was just confused because I didn't have enough female friends... So we haven't spoken about it since and I haven't really broached the 'hey I'm non-binary' thing either.
Final score:
15points
Viviane 4 years ago
I hope you've met someone nice since. By the way, your mother sounds confused.
Dodo (Submission author) 4 years ago
Lol, still never had a date (and I'm pansexual so it should be easier!). But yeah, she's very confused.
Load More Replies... Kevin Humble 3 years ago
"By the way, your mother sounds confused." ... so all I can see now is some parent saying "you are not gay - you are just confused" ... "NO YOU ARE CONFUSED" :)
Kitti B. 4 years ago (edited)
Almost the same reaction happened to me while i was in univerisity. i met a British girl online and we fell in love. I told my mum about her and she said I liked her because I'd never had a romantic relationship before. :( Well, actually we met (even had sex) but I never told it this part of it to my parents. I guess my mum wasn't right. But the fact she said I liked that girl because I had no experince hurt me a lot. :( I wish you would find a fantastic girl. You deserve it :)
#37
So i came out to my friend and texted her saying i was bi and she was actually bi too (pretty big surprise) then later she opened up to another friend and she was bi too (jebus pretty big coincidence) and I said i was bi too. Then, another friend opened up about being pan(ok someones gotta be lying).
Final score:
15points
Nicola Dimigen 4 years ago
Haven't you heard about the theory of gay attraction among friends?
Aroace tiger (any pronouns) 4 years ago
Its rediculous I'm aromantic asexual agender, my friend is a biromantic lesbian who is questioning their gender and I have a pan/bi friend too
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Laura Ketteridge 3 years ago
There's no need for anyone to be lying. :o) It's perfectly possible to have a friend group where everyone is part of the 'Rainbow Mafia'.
CrazyCatLady 3 years ago
Why would someone downvote you? This is hilarious
Load More Replies... #38
When I came out to my mom she thought it was a phase or the result of something traumatic. It really made me more confused but I've been like this for a long time so I know my truth.
Final score:
15points
Viviane 4 years ago
I knew some parents who thought the same thing at first when their kid came out as trans. Luckily, they got over it and became his biggest believer. They're really happy for him. They did a lot of research and now they could give a dozen TED talks about supporting a trans child.
Kevin Humble 3 years ago
"I know my truth." Don't know if that is a common phrase but I love it.
Easily Excitable Panda 4 years ago
I hope your mom gets over her phase of disbelief,and in the meantime, good to you for holding on to your truth!
#39
I came out to my mother first on a walk and I said “hey, I think I’m gay” and she was all cool about it and stuff. And then I told my friends on the group chat and I said “hey, guys, I’m gay, I like girls, hope you don’t mind” and they were like “that’s fine!” and “why would we mind?” It was really cool and nice.
Final score:
15points
Kevin Humble 3 years ago
That's how it should be. Hope we get to that place before we all kill each other.
#40
I've only come out to my immediate family, so for my mom I just told her right when I realized, but for my dad I just wrote him a note. I plan to tell my grandparents and uncles next time I see them, but I'm scared since my grandparents are kinda homophobic. I'm bi btw. And if you have any ideas on how I could come out please please tell me.
Final score:
14points
Viviane 4 years ago
Can you mention it to just your uncles for now? Whether they keep it secret or tell your grandmother is up to you. Not everyone comes out directly. One of my in-laws told her siblings and asked them to tell their father and see how he reacted (fine, as it turned out). One of my relatives asked her mother to tell others about being a lesbian (I had suspected, so no surprise when the mother told me).
RandomBeing 4 years ago
Idk. If they're homophobic I would personally (again thats just me) not. I mean you don't have to come out to anyone you don't want to or at all.
#41
i just told my friends and they went "wait, we're supposed to be suprised?? Quick, guys!!"
Final score:
14points
#42
I told my friends I had something to tell them, Friend1 jokingly goes, "So, you're finally telling us you're in love with Friend2." - And I replied, "No, that was, like, two years ago." - They both gaped. Turns out, I only have two straight friends anyway.
Final score:
14points
#43
I knew I was trans lesbian 25 years ago, but I had other issues that were much more pressing - substance abuse, mental illness, abusive relationship. Over the years, I got sober, got help with my mental illness and after a few other relationships, quit dating. I experienced a spiritual awakening - I became Christian - and realizing that God loves me exactly as I am made it possible for me to fully embrace my trans lesbian self. I'm out to some friends. I'm going to seminary this fall and I included the info on my application - my denomination is accepting/affirming. I haven't told my parents because they wouldn't understand and it really doesn't matter to me.
Final score:
13points
#44
Well, when I was a teenager (I'm 33 now) my older sister told me if I didn't come out to my parents right then and there then SHE would do it for me. So she sat my parents down in the basement and I told them I was a lesbian, and the first words out of my mother's mouth were "How could you do this to me?!" Long story short I'm no contact with my family...
Final score:
12points
Momma Jess (Submission author) 4 years ago
Lol, right? That's okay, my best friend's mother was a lesbian, and my dad's only comment was "Well I think she's been spending too much time over there with them" ...because 'teh gay' is contagious...
Load More Replies... Laura Ketteridge 3 years ago
What on earth happened to your sister that she thought it is acceptable to forcibly out a person?!
#45
I haven’t yet.... my parents are kindaaa homophobic (they said there’s nothing wrong with gay people or people part of the lgbptqiaanbfd+ but whenever I watch things like Larray or James Charles or something they say turn this off or why do you watch this, this isn’t appropriate) so can someone please HELPP should I tell them? If so... how Btw I’m bi 💗💜💙
Final score:
11points
Viviane 4 years ago (edited)
Comment #1: Not an easy situation. My first concerns: are you dependent on them? If they react badly, is there a place where you can go?
J.A.D.E (Submission author) 4 years ago (edited)
Thanks for the comments!!!! And I’m only 13 turning 14 soo I’m not sure if there is anywhere I can go if they do react badly..
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max martin (they/them) 4 years ago
hi! i've seen a couple of people use the acronym lgbptqiaanbfd+ on this thread, and i was wondering if you could tell me what the f is? here is what i have so far: lesbian, gay, bisexual, pansexual, transgender, queer, intersex, asexual, aromantic, non-binary, f-? and demisexual. is that right?
Viviane 4 years ago
Comment #2: I found some more information here: https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/coming-out.html and this one: https://pflag.org/lgbtq-people - it has a button at the top that says "Leave this site now" - it's in case your parents walk in on you. If you don't feel ready to tell them the truth, tell them you're doing research to help a friend.
𝕁𝕖𝕟𝕟𝕪𝔹𝕖𝕖 4 years ago
Oh. My grandparents search my history. They will find out soon.
Load More Replies...
S Mi 3 years ago (edited)
Always keep in mind your physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual safety (some places you need to include sexual in that list as people will decide to 'cure' someone). If there is a real possibility you won't be safe, wait until you are in a space to better maintain your safety. (Edit: typo)
#46
I haven’t come out to my family yet, but I have a group of friends who are all LGBTQ+ so it’s pretty hard not to come out there
Final score:
11points
#47
I came out to my friends while we were having a drawing competition. One of my friends looked over my shoulder and said "Your lines are really crooked." I responded with "my lines are not straight and neither am I!" and they were just like "ok!" BTW I'm bi
Final score:
11points
CrazyCatLady 3 years ago
Lol that’s so good! Btw though, why do you have a lesbian flag on your profile picture if you’re bi?
#48
It was Christmas time and we were about to sit down for dinner. This was when I came out as Bisexual. I have yet to come out as lesbian. I quickly got up grabbed a napkin went to my room and wrote on the napkin "I am Bisexual" and when to sit back down. After dinner, my mouth was covered with pasta sauce and I grabbed the napkin and wiped my mouth with it making sure the words were facing them. long story short my aunt and uncle ALSO CAME OUT A BISEXUAL. crazy right?
Final score:
11points
StrangeLittleThing 4 years ago
You think that's crazy? Want to hear the crazy thing with my family? (I ask because I don't really want to share with someone who doesn't want to know, also I wasn't being disrespectful or anything when I said You think that's crazy?)
#49
So I had just gotten my second Covid vaccine, and it was So. Freaking. Cold. And I was crying, I dunno why, so I had my mom come and tuck me in and I said I wanted to talk to her about something and said I was nonbinary. She said she would support me no matter what as long as I am a good person. I brought it up again this morning and said I wanted to switch to they/them pronouns. She’s going to tell my dad and Papa(my stepdad) along with my siblings because I don’t really want to tell them because telling mom was all I really had the capacity for right then. But they support me so yay!!!
Final score:
11points
#50
I wanna start by saying I’m very lucky that I have an incredibly accepting family. I never really officially came out as being queer, but rather I (a female) mentioned that I had a crush on another girl in my grade and was talking with her. I showed my step-mom a picture of her and she said “Awww! She’s cute!” And that was it. I hope that one day, all parents will have that same reaction to their child saying they have a crush or are interested in anybody of any gender.
Final score:
11points
#51
Hi Mom, I'm bi. Now let's talk about my girlfriend !
Final score:
10points
#52
I never did. I just stopped hiding things and eventually they realized.
Final score:
10points
#53
Decided to take the plunge over a big family Sunday lunch, that way I'd only need to do it once. Now this back in the 80's, a lot if my queer friends had been kicked out of their homes, AIDS was terrifying everyone and most weekends somebody was assaulted for their sensuality. Deep breath. I'm moving in with (X) because she is more than a friend. Deadly silence followed. The my Dad cleared his throat and said " pass the mash, love". My head started pounding, my heart was in my mouth, I started to stutter and he continued. "We thought as much, hurry up before it gets cold!". I know I'm one of the lucky ones.
Final score:
10points
#54
I’m bi. Turns out, my sister knew almost before I did! My mom is extremely supportive and when I came out to her she didn’t really seem surprised but when I told my dad and stepmom they sort of acted like it was just a phase and we haven’t addressed it since.
Final score:
9points
Easily Excitable Panda 4 years ago
The moon has phases. Human beings learn about themselves. I'm glad you've got your mom and sister on your side!
#55
I haven't told my parent's yet but last march I finally just texted my friend that I was questioning and she literally said in all capital letters "YAASSSSSS LIVE YOU'RE TRUTH BABE HECK YEAH" and also told me almost all of her friends are some part of Lgbtq+ and that shes bi!! So yeah im really glad that I told someone!!! BTW Happy Pride month!!🌈🌈
Final score:
9points
#56
lol i came ouut to my most of my friends and then my parents got my phone and saw so that wass that i guess
Final score:
8points
#57
I asked if they support LGBTQIAP+ they said yes. So I said I like girls, and identify as pansexual! :)
Final score:
8points
Kevin Humble 3 years ago
"Still figuring out what I am...think I'm pan but I'm not sure-" Don't matter - we love you... You do you.
Load More Replies... #58
i was kinda underwhelmed for mine, ive seen so many tiktoks of parents hugging their children of congratulating them, but mine just stared at me and went 'ok". and that felt kinda like a punch in the gut to me. itwas like they thought finding myself wasn't worth celebrating. but they still support me so . . .
Final score:
7points
Tess the ferret 4 years ago
If they support you, surely thats the most important thing? Maybe the 'ok' is just because they can accept it so easily, and the parents jumping around celebrating are confused and trying to hide it? Idk, this sorta made sense in my head but not so much now oh well hope it helps(if you can understand it that is)
#59
So I'm male and ace. Few years back, my dad and I were chatting at my grandparents' house. He's pretty drunk, going through a second divorce, starts talking about this girl from work, 20 years younger than him (he was 50), going like "I think I could bang her. But should I? What would you do?" So after a few minutes I got so uncomfortable with that conversation I decided I'd rather come out than continue discussing this. I was pretty drunk but sobered up real quick. I was really nervous but tried to play it cool, like "I don't know what to tell about that, I'm ace." He was cool about it, said he won't tell anyone if I don't want him to, and went right back to talking about how thirsty he was for this co-worker. I have very mixed feelings about this now.
Final score:
7points
#60
My parents were/are very supportive! My mom used to be bi when she was my age actually! So, I had a crush on my girl bff, but I also like guys so at first I was bi, but now I'm pan!! Oh- and my cousin knows and he is like the BEST! Its also my first pride month coming out! HAPPY PRIDE MONTH EVERYONE!
Final score:
7points
#61
Mine is embarrassing, I was looking at LGBTQ memes on one window of Chrome and doing homework on the other. I asked my Mum for help on the homework and then left the room for about 20 seconds. As I came back I heard "Uhhh, what is this?". Luckily my family's very accepting, but at first I freaked out, ran upstairs and cried for a while. We had a conversation about it after I'd calmed down. I always felt very disappointed that I didn't get to make the choice to come out, but I'm glad my family was so good about it.
Final score:
7points
#62
I came out by email. Well, for the most part, I told my eldest daughter in person (I shocked her) and I told one of my sisters over the phone, they did not take it well. Those experiences taught me that I needed to give my family time to thine about it before responding. That's where the email came from. Just to clarify, my friends and family are super accepting. I was in my 50's when I came out.
Final score:
7points
#63
My parents thought I was going to say I was pregnant. They were relieved I was *just* bisexual.
Final score:
6points
#64
This may not be what you're looking for, but here goes. I was born female and identify as female, but I am totally a cross dresser. When I was a small child I can remember feeling sooo stupid if I had to put on a dress. It took to my late 20's to start dressing for myself. For the last 30+ years though, the only female garment I wear is a bathing suit. A while back there was a lovely post of a cross dressing man and his outfits. He wore them well and was obviously happy. But the post still made me cringe, lol. Because I can't understand why anyone would choose to wear women's clothes. But, I will Always defend everybodies right to dress the way they want. Or Be who they are! Be true to yourselves, dear pandas!
Final score:
6points
VeninTheNonBinaryRogue 4 years ago
I hate dresses so much. Like, I would trip if it’s a long dress, and I can’t run. If it’s a short dress, I can’t sit properly. I sit with my legs under me or cross legged or other weird ways. I prefer suits to dresses.
Isobella GOURLAY 4 years ago
YESS! I haven't worn a dress in 3 years, GREATEST decision of my life!
Load More Replies... Istax 3 years ago
I am a Butch Lesbian Woman, and I too strongly dislike dresses! And long hair. And the colour pink. And basically anything that's to do with the stereotype of being female. Weirdly, there's always been a lot of pressure to "come out" as a straight trans man if you're a Butch Lesbian, especially from TRAs, which is annoying.
Neb 3 years ago
I have long hair and love easy-to-wear dresses, but I hate color pink! Unfortunately, with my coloring, pink looks good on me. Anyway, it should not be a rule of such. Any type of stereotyping is not fun.
Load More Replies... #65
I wrote my mother a 3,000 word essay of an email when I came out as trans FtM 6 years ago.
Final score:
6points
V33333P (Submission author) 4 years ago
Anxiety did a number on me haha. I had links to definitions, gave her a brief history of transgender people, freaked out in all sorts of ways... I'm very lucky. She's not gung-ho, but she understands this is who I am and why this is important to me
Load More Replies... #66
i havent...im too scared
Final score:
6points
#67
I sent meh friends a pic of the demigirl flag.they solved the puzzle and ye
Final score:
5points
#68
I'm not currently out to my family, but I am out to all my internet friends! It kinda went something like this, and I think it's kinda funny, but also very typical for me to do. We were all just kinda chatting on our discord server, and I sent a message that was almost the exact same wording as this; "Right y'all, I have something to announce. I'm Non-Binary!! I prefer they/them pronouns, and I'd really like it if y'all can call me Harley!" They were all really chill with it, and some of my IRL friends in that server have made it no issue to use my preferred name/pronouns. I'm hesitant with coming out to my parents and sister, as they're all really supportive but I'm still nervous.
Final score:
5points
#69
So I'm male and ace. Few years back, my dad and I were chatting at my grandparents' house. He's pretty drunk, going through a second divorce, starts talking about this girl from work, 20 years younger than him (he was 50), going like "I think I could bang her. But should I? What would you do?" So after a few minutes I got so uncomfortable with that conversation I decided I'd rather come out than continue discussing this. I was pretty drunk but sobered up real quick. I was really nervous but tried to play it cool, like "I don't know what to tell about that, I'm ace." He was cool about it, said he won't tell anyone if I don't want him to, and went right back to talking about how thirsty he was for this co-worker. I have very mixed feelings about this now.
Final score:
5points
Viviane 4 years ago (edited)
If your dad starts talking like a teenager again, you can maybe say, "I don't want to be your confidante, let alone your wing man." Plus if he propositions her, he risks a sexual harassment complaint. My husband recently stood up for an employee in her mid-20s who had problems with a 50-something man. The man ended up being transferred to another part of town.
#70
Coming out to my parents as bi was pretty routine, I think. I was 37 and married before I realized it myself, so there were some questions about whether I was going to "do anything about it" (at the time, I was not) and the standard "maybe it's just a phase" (prefaced with "maybe this is ignorant, but..."). Aside from that they took it pretty well. I know this isn't in the spirit of Pride month, but the more interesting story was coming out to my parents as polyamorous. That is a specific type of open relationship, aka consensual non-monogamy (where all partners are aware and approve of the situation) that is about full relationships, ie intimacy AND emotions. We opened up our marriage maybe a year and a half after I'd come out as bi. (Yes, it was related. Yes, most bi people are monogamous. But looking back at it, this was always a better fit for us anyway. My husband and his zucchini are very happy.) Anyway, the problem was that by the time we felt ready to tell my parents about it, they were in the midst of a move. They were leaving my city and I felt like I really should tell them before they left rather than over the phone, but they were just *so* busy packing & preparing for a full month that it almost didn't happen. Then, my mom needed to stay in the city for a week in order to attend a medical appointment. She would stay at my house a few days, and then with her sister for a few days. On the last day, her and I got deep into conversation and knowing it was last chance to tell her in person, I decided to go for it. I told her we were polyam and that I had a girlfriend. She took it... okay. But she had only asked a few questions (e.g. was I being safe, is the other person married) when she got a text from her sister, who had arrived early to pick her up. We did converse a bit by email after, but not much. I sent her some links, she didn't ask any more questions. In video calls later I didn't force the conversation but I hoped they'd ask me about. My girlfriend's name, anything. But I think they saw it as some sort of dirty secret, not a real relationship with its own ups and downs, struggles and funny anecdotes. I'm really bad at inserting topics into conversations and nothing was said about for months. Until, my girlfriend broke up with me. I was in the process of working through that when my parents called one time and asked how I was doing. I told them - badly - and why. I said, "Since I married my first boyfriend, this is the first time I've had a relationship end." And my dad chuckled and said, "Yeah, I guess it is." After that conversation, they finally understood I think. It had been normalized, it was something we were allowed to talk about. Now, my mom asks occasionally how the Tinder search is going, or how my husband's zucchini is doing. It took some time to get there, and they still don't *fully* understand, but they're doing their best to support our choices. It's good. :)
Final score:
5points
Rider 4 years ago
I came out Bisexual and Polyamorous by telling my family I was dating a married couple. They couldn't wrap their heads around it, they thought I was straight and polygamous. When they finally got it, it didn't go well. They were not allowed at family events, later when they were we weren't allowed to be affectionate, then it was she and I couldn't be affectionate. I was really shocked they haven't accepted me being bi. My cousin is lesbian and my brother gay. Yet bi isn't acceptable *sigh*. She left us 7 years ago (together 6), so my family likes to pretend it was a phase. I'll have to come out all over again when the kids move out and if/when we decide to date others. Next time I'll have a party and introduce our partner(s) as the reveal. They can walk out if they don't like it. And while most people are surprised I identify as genderfluid it's a none issue. It took a long time for me to understand that's what I was and by then everyone had already accepted me as is.
Parmeisan (Submission author) 4 years ago
Yes, I believe those mean more or less the same thing. A relationship that's a bit difficult to describe - more than friends but for complicated reasons not romantic partners. She is also ace (which I mention because of your username) but that's not the main reason it's complicated.
Load More Replies... #71
When I was 20 I figured out I was a lesbian when I fell in love with a co-worker who was 17...It was a consensual relationship that lasted over 3 years. Before she turned 18 her parents found out and went to the police to have me arrested for statutory rape. "So hey Mom, I may be arrested, and here is why..." Not exactly how I wanted to tell her, obviously. Luckily the police did not pursue anything, because at the time (mid-nineties), the legal definition required "penetration". I am thankful that the police could not figure out how you could have a sex without having a p*nis. My Mom loves me no matter what, but still does not like to talk about 20 some odd years later, and she thinks nobody else in the family knows still (except my brother). Luckily my brother is very supportive and told me that only one thing would change, that he now has girlfriend approval rights instead of boyfriend approval rights.
Final score:
5points
#72
Haven't come out to the family yet but i came out to my friends when we were hanging out and there was this really funky looking branch on the tree (we were climbing trees together) it was really twisty and so I was like "I'm as straights as this tree branch", my crush looked at me and just started laughing so i think she kinda knew. The next week or so our group chat (which had a couple of homophobes) was spamming me with pics of pans and going "oooh is this u" which kinda felt a bit sh*t. The only person who was being nice about it was my crush and this one other chick. FYI I'm pan in case you couldn't tell. The crush was my girlfriend of 3 months, we had to break up due to some stuff in our friendship group. So that was great. Anyways, HAPPY PRIDE MONTH YALL.
Final score:
5points
#73
Told my friends that “I’m either bi or pan, no clue which one.” And they looked me in the eyes and said and I quote: “We know”. My sister somehow suspects it, and I’m trying to come out to family now.
Final score:
4points
#74
My sister has always been a borderline-personality b*tch. I was twelve and she was fifteen and she loved causing trouble, so SHE told our dad I’m gay. It did not go well. The good news: I haven’t spoken to either of them in twenty years. I feel sorry for the rest of the world inflicted by them.
Final score:
4points
#75
My mom and me were cooking and I just kinda blurted it out.. awkward. For my dad I had it planned out to tell him and my step mom. Step moms like “duh” dad was shocked and didn’t speak for like 30 minutes. Still awkward.
Final score:
4points
#76
I knew my mum would support me but I was still really nervous. So I literally just sent her a message, chucked my phone on the sofa and ran upstairs.
Final score:
3points
#77
It wasn’t really a big thing, I texted my mom a picture of the bisexual flag with no context. She didn’t get it even after she googled it and I had to tell her. She said she didn’t care and she loves me no matter what. I knew she would tell my stepdad, but I told my dad myself. I sent him a message telling him I was bisexual, and he sent me back a paragraph basically telling me he was fine with it and he always wants to know what’s happening with me and I cried. Now I’m questioning if I’m genderfluid, and my mom once again is fine with it and I haven’t told anyone else.
Final score:
3points
#78
I came out to some of my friends by just bluntly telling them. I was putting off coming out to a set of friends but then one of my friends I was already out to outed me to them. And, I am out to my mom but not my dad. I live with mom; I made a slideshow, that was like "I AM NON-BINARY!!" and it explained my new name/prounouns/stuff i needed. My mom's reaction was "Oh...I know." She says she supports me and loves me no matter what; she is a little worried it is a little young for me to have it all figured out but she's ok with it! My dad...I don't even wanna try for a long time.... Stay safe everyone!!!
Final score:
3points
#79
I kinda just dropped into a conversation about how I had a crush on one of my girlfriends. Also, I just figured out that I’m a demigirl, and I haven’t told anyone about that yet. My grandma would FREAK. Lol
Final score:
2points
Toxxa 4 years ago
im sorry what is a demi girl? i have never heard the term before. (i do support lgbtq+ i just have trouble with words.
Hermione Granger (Submission author) 4 years ago
I completely understand! It’s hard to keep up with all the new terminology. Demigirl means that I partially but not fully identify as a female. I use they/she pronouns. Demiboy is the same. Hope that helps! Happy Pride!
Load More Replies... StrangeLittleThing 4 years ago
I'm a demigirl too I think! But really my mind has gone through soo many different what if I'm this gender? that I really don't know anymore!!
Hermione Granger (Submission author) 4 years ago
Well, take your time. You go at your own pace to figure yourself out. however, safety first when you come out. If you may be in danger if you come out, DON’T. Make sure you have a place to stay if you get kicked out. Best of luck!
Load More Replies... #80
I am gender fluid. I told 2 friends that i am questioning a while ago but i havn't actually come out so anyone. I am so nervous because my parents are christian and im not sure if the support LGBTQ+ enough for them to accept me. im only 14 so if they dont accept me im kinda screwed. i need help!
Final score:
2points
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ADHORTATOR 4 years ago
I am a fifty year old white heterosexual married man with two kids and it breaks m heart when I read that parents don't accept the sexuality of their kids, especially because of religion.
K.J. Heidebrecht 4 years ago
I worked in my dad's microfilm company (before digital record keeping began). On my lunch break, I'd sit in the camera repair shop and read. One day, my father slipped a Wall Street Journal opinion piece - more like a quiet screed - about why homosexuality is wrong. I read out and started writing a reply to him. I debunked the piece point but point. I set on it for a couple of days. When I reread it, I saw that I was irrational as I wrote, so I chucked it. I completely ignored the screed. A few weeks later I parked my car next to his one Friday. That day as I was leaving, he asked, "What are you doing this weekend?" I told him I washing my car, seeing a movie with friends, other stuff.. He said, "While you're washing your car, why don't you take off that bumper sticker?" I replied that I wouldn't do that. After we started at each other for a few secs, I said, "I know you don't want too accepts it, Dad, but I'm a les-" He cut me off and said angrily, "No, don't say that word, you're not that." Already his face had gone sunburn-red; I watched the color rise from under his shirt to the part in his hair. We started asst each other for a minute more. Then I said "Have a nice weekend," and walked out the door. -- OH, YEAH! The bumper sticker was white blockl letters on black. It read HOMOPHOBIA IS A SOCIAL DISEASE.
Aeon Flux 4 years ago
Guys, saying things like, "I don't understand why people need to even talk about who they want to have sex with," misses the point. People are telling you their identity. Who they are. They're not telling you because they necessarily want to share their sex life with you. They're telling you because it should be something we can talk about, and it shouldn't be seen as abnormal. Be careful about having a silencing effect. Be careful about having a silencing effect
Amy Smith 4 years ago
I got drunk after a row with my first girlfriend, came home at about 1am pissed (I had an interview with a University the next day so parents were annoyed). Shouted that I was gay to my mum in response to something she said that I can no longer remember. Her response was "what else is new?" I'm actually glad that it was easier than some other people's experiences and I still have a wonderful family. Love to anyone who had a terrible experience.
Chaotic-Pansexual-Gemini 4 years ago
I was sitting at the table on the morning of my 14th birthday with my cousin (who is also lgbt+ and already knew) and my parents. Only like, two cousins, my parents, and one grandparent knows. I had been wanting to tell them for so long and I’d been panicking and all over the place but I felt better with my cousin there. I explained to them (originally saying I was bi but then working it over and officially saying pan) and I recieved an hour long lecture about labels and how I could get into trouble and be bullied in high school and how it doesn’t really matter who I like but I should be careful about putting labels on myself. I attempted to explain that I knew this already and that I felt comfortable with labels and that I would deal with what would come. It wasn’t a pleasant conversation. But in the end, they seemed fine with my sexuality, more just that they were worried for me. I came out to my grandpa one morning while he was taking me to school cause I was telling him a story
Chaotic-Pansexual-Gemini 4 years ago
That wouldn’t make sense if he didn’t know. He’s pretty religious so I asked “how do you feel about the lgbtq+ community” and he said “I believe it is a sin, but that doesn’t mean that people should be attacked over it” and I said “thank you, I agree. So, I’m pansexual” and then I explained what that was and he was like “oh well I don’t see anything wrong with that” and I was like ok cool, and I finished my story and went into school. That was like half a year ago and neither of us have mentioned it since.
Load More Replies...
Bird lover 4 years ago
I am late to the race but: my brother(gay) and me(lesbian) came out on thanksgiving together as we both knew about each others sexualitys so he wore a rainbow dress and I wore a rainbow suit both with pin saying: "hi family, I'm gay". My mom was surprised as she was born in a very religious household but she just needed to process it. She has been very supportive.
Eileen Schaefer 4 years ago
I never had a real coming out. My mum said: „Later, when you have a boyfriend...“ and I said: „Or a girlfriend...“
Hayley Rodgers 4 years ago
I wrote an email to my mom. I never meant to send it. I would write these things and then delete them once I got all my feelings out. I was upset because of some comments she had made about the lgbtq community and I said that I was so upset because I was bisexual and I felt like she was attacking me. Then I accidentally hit send instead of save. I was nervous for a while then we had a talk and cleared up some massive misconceptions about what bisexuality means, and we haven't really talked about it since. I am in a hetero passing marriage so it doesn't really impact my daily image. And I guess it's just easier to move past it
Hey! 3 years ago (edited)
My oldest son came out to me. We were chatting about this and that and then he said his last STI test was negative. "Oh you get checked?" "Yeah, every month Mom." "Don't you wear condoms?" "Well, not for a blowjob." "Eww, that's gross. Why??? Ooops sorry that wouldn't be gross for you, right? So you're gay?" "Actually, Mom, I'm bi." "Bi? Am I N? (like my first name)" "No Mom, I'm bisexual." "What does that even mean?" "I go both ways." "I'm still confused." "I go out with women AND men" "W&M. Wow. Sooooo, if you're bisexual, was (him) a friend or a BF?" "BF" "Okay, what about him, him, him?" "All BF" "Ah! Now I understand all the drama. It was a break-up, not just a friendship." "Yep". Then my husband comes outside and I just tell him "Hey, P is bisexual, he goes both ways, he likes W&M" "(Rigid stance). Can we talk about something else?". So the thing is that I'm religious but this man is my son and I love him, which is what I told my husband. There is no way around this. He's okay, just won't talk about it.
Chelsea Bates 3 years ago
Just want everyone to know, that I know it's hard being your true self, but I'm here for you.
GenericPanda09 3 years ago
that's pretty sweet and appreciated i 'm sure by quite a few on here even if they they feel like they can't ''endorse' it.
Load More Replies... ADHORTATOR 4 years ago
I am a fifty year old white heterosexual married man with two kids and it breaks m heart when I read that parents don't accept the sexuality of their kids, especially because of religion.
K.J. Heidebrecht 4 years ago
I worked in my dad's microfilm company (before digital record keeping began). On my lunch break, I'd sit in the camera repair shop and read. One day, my father slipped a Wall Street Journal opinion piece - more like a quiet screed - about why homosexuality is wrong. I read out and started writing a reply to him. I debunked the piece point but point. I set on it for a couple of days. When I reread it, I saw that I was irrational as I wrote, so I chucked it. I completely ignored the screed. A few weeks later I parked my car next to his one Friday. That day as I was leaving, he asked, "What are you doing this weekend?" I told him I washing my car, seeing a movie with friends, other stuff.. He said, "While you're washing your car, why don't you take off that bumper sticker?" I replied that I wouldn't do that. After we started at each other for a few secs, I said, "I know you don't want too accepts it, Dad, but I'm a les-" He cut me off and said angrily, "No, don't say that word, you're not that." Already his face had gone sunburn-red; I watched the color rise from under his shirt to the part in his hair. We started asst each other for a minute more. Then I said "Have a nice weekend," and walked out the door. -- OH, YEAH! The bumper sticker was white blockl letters on black. It read HOMOPHOBIA IS A SOCIAL DISEASE.
Aeon Flux 4 years ago
Guys, saying things like, "I don't understand why people need to even talk about who they want to have sex with," misses the point. People are telling you their identity. Who they are. They're not telling you because they necessarily want to share their sex life with you. They're telling you because it should be something we can talk about, and it shouldn't be seen as abnormal. Be careful about having a silencing effect. Be careful about having a silencing effect
Amy Smith 4 years ago
I got drunk after a row with my first girlfriend, came home at about 1am pissed (I had an interview with a University the next day so parents were annoyed). Shouted that I was gay to my mum in response to something she said that I can no longer remember. Her response was "what else is new?" I'm actually glad that it was easier than some other people's experiences and I still have a wonderful family. Love to anyone who had a terrible experience.
Chaotic-Pansexual-Gemini 4 years ago
I was sitting at the table on the morning of my 14th birthday with my cousin (who is also lgbt+ and already knew) and my parents. Only like, two cousins, my parents, and one grandparent knows. I had been wanting to tell them for so long and I’d been panicking and all over the place but I felt better with my cousin there. I explained to them (originally saying I was bi but then working it over and officially saying pan) and I recieved an hour long lecture about labels and how I could get into trouble and be bullied in high school and how it doesn’t really matter who I like but I should be careful about putting labels on myself. I attempted to explain that I knew this already and that I felt comfortable with labels and that I would deal with what would come. It wasn’t a pleasant conversation. But in the end, they seemed fine with my sexuality, more just that they were worried for me. I came out to my grandpa one morning while he was taking me to school cause I was telling him a story
Chaotic-Pansexual-Gemini 4 years ago
That wouldn’t make sense if he didn’t know. He’s pretty religious so I asked “how do you feel about the lgbtq+ community” and he said “I believe it is a sin, but that doesn’t mean that people should be attacked over it” and I said “thank you, I agree. So, I’m pansexual” and then I explained what that was and he was like “oh well I don’t see anything wrong with that” and I was like ok cool, and I finished my story and went into school. That was like half a year ago and neither of us have mentioned it since.
Load More Replies... Bird lover 4 years ago
I am late to the race but: my brother(gay) and me(lesbian) came out on thanksgiving together as we both knew about each others sexualitys so he wore a rainbow dress and I wore a rainbow suit both with pin saying: "hi family, I'm gay". My mom was surprised as she was born in a very religious household but she just needed to process it. She has been very supportive.
Eileen Schaefer 4 years ago
I never had a real coming out. My mum said: „Later, when you have a boyfriend...“ and I said: „Or a girlfriend...“
Hayley Rodgers 4 years ago
I wrote an email to my mom. I never meant to send it. I would write these things and then delete them once I got all my feelings out. I was upset because of some comments she had made about the lgbtq community and I said that I was so upset because I was bisexual and I felt like she was attacking me. Then I accidentally hit send instead of save. I was nervous for a while then we had a talk and cleared up some massive misconceptions about what bisexuality means, and we haven't really talked about it since. I am in a hetero passing marriage so it doesn't really impact my daily image. And I guess it's just easier to move past it
Hey! 3 years ago (edited)
My oldest son came out to me. We were chatting about this and that and then he said his last STI test was negative. "Oh you get checked?" "Yeah, every month Mom." "Don't you wear condoms?" "Well, not for a blowjob." "Eww, that's gross. Why??? Ooops sorry that wouldn't be gross for you, right? So you're gay?" "Actually, Mom, I'm bi." "Bi? Am I N? (like my first name)" "No Mom, I'm bisexual." "What does that even mean?" "I go both ways." "I'm still confused." "I go out with women AND men" "W&M. Wow. Sooooo, if you're bisexual, was (him) a friend or a BF?" "BF" "Okay, what about him, him, him?" "All BF" "Ah! Now I understand all the drama. It was a break-up, not just a friendship." "Yep". Then my husband comes outside and I just tell him "Hey, P is bisexual, he goes both ways, he likes W&M" "(Rigid stance). Can we talk about something else?". So the thing is that I'm religious but this man is my son and I love him, which is what I told my husband. There is no way around this. He's okay, just won't talk about it.
Chelsea Bates 3 years ago
Just want everyone to know, that I know it's hard being your true self, but I'm here for you.
GenericPanda09 3 years ago
that's pretty sweet and appreciated i 'm sure by quite a few on here even if they they feel like they can't ''endorse' it.
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