Woman Explains Why Many People Are So Hateful To Themselves, Yet So Loving To Others
Let’s be real—life isn’t easy. To begin with, there are thousands and thousands of small and big external issues we’re forced to deal with on a daily basis. And as if that wasn’t enough, sometimes, for no particular reason, our own minds try their best to convince us that there’s something inherently terrible about us.
Recently, writer Mary Katherine Backstrom published a Facebook post in which she opened up about about her personal struggles and shared her viewpoint on why we often tend to be so mean to ourselves with no apparent reason to do so.
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Being your own pal can often be significantly more difficult than being a good friend to someone else
Image credits: Mary Katherine Backstrom
Writer Mary Katherine Backstrom has recently published a Facebook post in which she talked about why we’re so quick to be mean to ourselves, yet so loving to those around us
Mary begins her post by giving a few examples of how comparing herself to other people and trying to be like them often leaves her sad, empty, and disappointed in herself.
“I saw a mom at my son’s school yesterday. She packed her kids healthy lunches and they actually freaking ate them,” reads one of the given examples. “So last night I tried to force-feed my kids carrots and meatloaf, and they cried. That made me feel like a failure.”
Then she shares how she’s recently told all of this to her therapist during one of their sessions. “I told him about lunchbox anxiety, and Michelin tire fat rolls, and my stupid, stupid videos,” Mary writes.
After hearing that, the therapist pointed out that Mary is a very kind and loving person to those around her and proceeded to ask her why she’s so mean to herself. This question made Mary burst into tears as she realized she truly is her own bully.
“Turns out, joy is a scary feeling,” the woman writes in her post and explains it by saying that whenever we find ourselves feeling happy, our minds simultaneously start preparing us for the crash landing. You can’t get too comfortable because you could fall down from the clouds at any given moment ad get terribly hurt, right?
“We celebrate our friends so easily because their joy isn’t a risk to us,” she adds.
Image credits: Mary Katherine Backstrom
The realizations born during the therapy session inspired Mary to try to finally try to befriend herself. And now, she’s challenging her followers to do the same.
“I made a new friend. Her name is Mary Katherine, and she’s pretty freaking cool,” Mary writes in her post. “I’m learning to like her a little bit. Maybe one day, she’ll feel loved.”
Mary’s words happened to resonate with many—the post has quickly gone viral and it currently has almost 30k reactions along with over 2.9k comments.
Here’s what people had to say about Mary’s post
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Can we get some more feel good posts here? Rather then just ragging on people or whatever? More posts like this!
Yes! We like the positive, happy posts with kitties and mental health, not America-bashing ones. (And this article was the most relatable one in ages.)
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FYI "death" is the word they censored...couldn't figure it out. My mind went to dirty words starting with D 😂
Oh my god, me too! I thought it was "d'ick" and was directed as a insult at the prom date of the daughter
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one of my biggest fears that im usually to scared to even try to talk about is that if i do get to a point in my life where i feel content, thats when life will rip it to pieces, and its more than just a fear because i think ive convinced myself its true? so man, i feel this article deep in my bones
Being your own best friend of course you encourage yourself. Success is okay, but really trying is dope. That grumpy voice is pure ego. Why listen to it? It's better to fail gloriously than be slave to that voice.
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I cannot remember who said this to me wayyy back in the 60s,but I have done it many times.....you roll out of bed,stand in front of your mirror,look at yourself and say »Every day,in every way,I get better and better ».....it works !!
That sounds like something from the 60s lol
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It really doesn't help that our entertainment culture has also cemented in our minds that triumphs are almost immediately followed by tragedy. We're taught to fear happiness, because we're constantly shown how that could potentially turn around in an instant.
Thanks for reminding me. I freaking rawk. https://soundcloud.com/dorothy-zink-1
Thanks for this. I'm not really hateful to myself, but for some reason I've spent a good 3/4 of my life preparing myself to die or see my relatives die - every. f*****g. day. Philosophically, it's sort of wise, but honestly... it's exhausting, and you're literally forbidding yourself to live.
My biggest take away is the realisation that body standards ARE a problem in some countries out there. I usually saw it on the net, or heard it on the TV, but now I see it. Looking at the pic, if it is of the person, I see that as a healthy normal weight, proper lookng person. How can they possibly feel uncomfortable in that body. I know photos sometimes distort reality but not those type of photos. She'd have to fill the frame and her cheeks for me to be convinced she's reaching unhealthy weight. Folds like a tyre? Isn't that normal? From my understanding that's how the body works. Except the unhealthy ones.
There’s also a layer of trying to curb your own ego a little. Like not wanting to be over confident that it comes across badly, but accidentally taking it too far against yourself. I do that.
I relate to a certain extent, but if your immediate thought when someone else does well is to feel badly about yourself, you may be nice, but you might also be a little self centered. You can take joy in the accomplishments of others without always relating it back to you.
It doesn't get any more straightforward from the pessimists code: "If I look for the bad, I'm never disappointed"
or rather you will always find it. There will always be something negative to find and that's all you will find.
Load More Replies... Can we get some more feel good posts here? Rather then just ragging on people or whatever? More posts like this!
Yes! We like the positive, happy posts with kitties and mental health, not America-bashing ones. (And this article was the most relatable one in ages.)
Load More Replies... FYI "death" is the word they censored...couldn't figure it out. My mind went to dirty words starting with D 😂
Oh my god, me too! I thought it was "d'ick" and was directed as a insult at the prom date of the daughter
Load More Replies... one of my biggest fears that im usually to scared to even try to talk about is that if i do get to a point in my life where i feel content, thats when life will rip it to pieces, and its more than just a fear because i think ive convinced myself its true? so man, i feel this article deep in my bones
Being your own best friend of course you encourage yourself. Success is okay, but really trying is dope. That grumpy voice is pure ego. Why listen to it? It's better to fail gloriously than be slave to that voice.
Load More Replies... I cannot remember who said this to me wayyy back in the 60s,but I have done it many times.....you roll out of bed,stand in front of your mirror,look at yourself and say »Every day,in every way,I get better and better ».....it works !!
That sounds like something from the 60s lol
Load More Replies... It really doesn't help that our entertainment culture has also cemented in our minds that triumphs are almost immediately followed by tragedy. We're taught to fear happiness, because we're constantly shown how that could potentially turn around in an instant.
Thanks for reminding me. I freaking rawk. https://soundcloud.com/dorothy-zink-1
Thanks for this. I'm not really hateful to myself, but for some reason I've spent a good 3/4 of my life preparing myself to die or see my relatives die - every. f*****g. day. Philosophically, it's sort of wise, but honestly... it's exhausting, and you're literally forbidding yourself to live.
My biggest take away is the realisation that body standards ARE a problem in some countries out there. I usually saw it on the net, or heard it on the TV, but now I see it. Looking at the pic, if it is of the person, I see that as a healthy normal weight, proper lookng person. How can they possibly feel uncomfortable in that body. I know photos sometimes distort reality but not those type of photos. She'd have to fill the frame and her cheeks for me to be convinced she's reaching unhealthy weight. Folds like a tyre? Isn't that normal? From my understanding that's how the body works. Except the unhealthy ones.
There’s also a layer of trying to curb your own ego a little. Like not wanting to be over confident that it comes across badly, but accidentally taking it too far against yourself. I do that.
I relate to a certain extent, but if your immediate thought when someone else does well is to feel badly about yourself, you may be nice, but you might also be a little self centered. You can take joy in the accomplishments of others without always relating it back to you.
It doesn't get any more straightforward from the pessimists code: "If I look for the bad, I'm never disappointed"
or rather you will always find it. There will always be something negative to find and that's all you will find.
Load More Replies...
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