One of the most discouraging parts of mental illness is when your thought processes don’t even make sense to you, but that doesn’t bring you any closer to overcoming them. That’s what writer M. Molly Backes describes in this Twitter thread about a symptom of depression that not everyone knows about, but many can relate to.
The writer describes encountering an “impossible” task, actually a minor task like a chore or an errand, that seems to overwhelming to deal with. The longer the task is put off, the more insurmountable it becomes, and when you have a whole house full of “impossible tasks”, you no longer know where to start.
Image credits: mollybackes
This Twitter thread talks about an insidious symptom of depression
Image credits: mollybackes
Image credits: mollybackes
Image credits: mollybackes
Image credits: mollybackes
Image credits: mollybackes
Image credits: mollybackes
Image credits: mollybackes
Image credits: mollybackes
Backes points out that the phenomenon actually has a proper name: executive dysfunction. It’s one of the main hallmarks of developmental disorders like ADHD and autism spectrum disorder, but even if you don’t have any of those conditions, it can be brought on by mental illness, stress and trauma. Executive function is the collection of skills that allows you to prioritize tasks, make a plan and figure out where to start. When it doesn’t work well, doing simple tasks feels confusing and takes disproportionate effort.
The writer was flattered that so many could relate to the thread
Image credits: mollybackes
Image credits: mollybackes
Image credits: mollybackes
Image credits: mollybackes
Image credits: mollybackes
Image credits: mollybackes
Image credits: mollybackes
Image credits: mollybackes
Image credits: mollybackes
Image credits: mollybackes
Image credits: mollybackes
Image credits: mollybackes
Image credits: mollybackes
Every time mental health comes up in the news and becomes a hot topic, we always announce that we’re there if our friends need to open up to us and ask us for help. It’s a well-intentioned offer, but even if we mean it, that platitude overlooks one important detail. If your friend is ashamed to ask you for help because they believe that their problem isn’t significant enough, or if they feel like they can’t write a message to you because they’ve been putting off responding to so many messages that they don’t know where to start, they won’t.
If you know that a friend is struggling with their mental health, you can start by reaching out to them first. You could try offering to cook dinner together and seeing if anything else that you can help with comes up while you’re with them, or inviting them to run errands with you and get them anything they need while you’re out.
Commenters identified with Backes’ words, added their experiences to the thread, and gave examples of ways people have helped them.
A lot of people could relate to the experience
Image credits: pirateprentice1
Image credits: mollybackes
Image credits: CameronIshee
Image credits: mollybackes
Image credits: mssarahradz
Image credits: bunoot
Image credits: ArielDumas
Image credits: RebeccaZainea
Image credits: atomiccthulu
Image credits: goodyerin
Image credits: Fadenshine
Image credits: mothpaperwords
Image credits: JoanneMason11
Image credits: ToryanaVestal
Image credits: ketoverlock
Image credits: Dutiful_Murdock
I'm 13, and have been struggling with depression for most of my life. One thing I find insanely hard to answer is when my parents or friends ask me what makes me happy. Depression has made me so out of touch with my emotions that I don't even remember what it feels like to be happy. To make the situation even worse, my whole life, I have been able to feel others emotions as strongly as if not more expressively than them, so there are so many instances where I don't know if the emotions i'm feeling are mine or someone else's. It often feels like i'm strapped to a chair in a tiny glass room. The world is moving by so fast, right outside the walls, but I can't join in. And then peoples expectations of me block the air supply, and if I try to scream for help, no one hears. And I'm left trapped in a little glass room, slowly suffocating.
Oh, sweetheart, please take your post to your parents, a teacher or an adult you trust and ask for some help. Your description of your symptoms sounds like disassociation and that is a very significant indication of major depression. I know from experience as both of my daughters suffered from this during their adolescence, as did I. Treatment works, it takes time but it does work and you will come out on the other side one day. You are not alone <3
@bookfan: I love your analogy. You sound like a very creative and imaginative person. I've suffered from depression since childhood, and my first major episode was when I was not quite 15. I'd like to offer some advice: start keeping a journal. Get a pretty one that makes you happy just to look at it and hold it. You don't need to write everyday. Write short stories, poems (they don't have to be perfect, no one but you will ever read them), letters to people you have lost in your life, and letters to people who have hurt you, made you angry or disappointed you (they will never see them). Then go back and read your entries from time to time. This helps you to see the progress you have made, and helps you to keep things in perspective (your memory likes to play tricks on you). It will also remind you of the people who were kind to you or supportive. It will also help you to get to know better the unique person who is YOU. Sending love and hope and best wishes. ❤👍
They're Impossible Task might be keeping a journal. I don't do that because writing is a pain. I like your comment though.
You are very eloquent. I have also felt like I'm behind a glass wall though I imagine mine as being slightly murky in places and what I do want to see, I can't. Deborah and BusLady have made good suggestions. I've found taking my dogs out for a walk and focusing on their pleasure to be helpful but not every one has or can have a dog. Other than that reading, reading, reading. Also sending hope and best wishes. ♥
Hey, I get how you feel. Im 13 as well, I've struggled for months. It feels li,e so many things that make me hate my life, It's overwhelming. It's almost like a wave. I hate how I look, I hate my personality, I hate what I say, and I hate who I am. I never feel Iike anything I do is enough for anyone. I hate telling anyone face to face. It's easier on here because I'm not really here, but I always feel ashamed to tell someone, as if Im weak, or stupid. It starts a whole new cycle. The one time I tried to tell my parents, My dad got mad at me and called me an ingrate, because "I already have a great life, how could I be depressed? how could I want to possibly kill myself?" I relate so much to what you say about the glass room. I feel though, that everyone is constantly watching me in that room, analyzing me. Don't you wish you could break it?
Ugh there are so many arrogant and ignorant parents these days. I couldn't talk about my feelings to one of my parents without them bringing up the 'so many people are worse off than you,' or 'stop feeling sorry for yourself all the time', or 'killing yourself isn't going to get you any attention, people will feel sad for a bit and then forget'.
I see you and I hear you and I feel the things which may - yet - have no name for you. But they will. And eventually others will see you and hear you and, yes, the feelings will have names and they will be feelings with names that you like. Keep searching, keep looking, keep going. You are worth the effort.
I'm sending love and force to you. One day at a time. I know it's difficult but better days will come. Just please don't give up. You are not alone, even if you feel like you are.
Bookfan please, please hold on. This site helped me a lot, it might help you, or someone you know>>>>. https://www.metanoia.org/<<<< I can sooo relate to what you said. You can ring someone like Lifeline in Australia, 13 11 14 and just ask questions. If the first help you get does not help, tell them, and get them to try something else.
Congratulations on surviving so far. It is a real accomplishment. from one depression survivor to another.
I feel the same way. I try to tell my parents about it but when I do they just say “oh no I don’t think you have depression your just too dramatic about everything.” And I hate it when people just say to talk about it to someone. I have a therapist but I honestly hate talking to her. She makes me feel like a insane person. My friends don’t have therapists. I don’t want anyone to of me of that crazy girl or the over dramatic or just that sad girl. I want them to think of me as one of them. I wanna be one of them. So I always wanna keep my mouth shut about what’s happening in my life, or else I fear that everyone will think of me differently.
I feel you right there. I am only 12 and many girls have broken my trust I feel like I cat trust any girls. the trust issues got worse in middle school. I hate my life right now, I make to many jokes about it and I hate my self for it. some days are better than others, and on those bad days, I draw. it helps me, and because of that, I have gotten so much better at drawing. many people compliment me, but in my head when they do compliment me, they see inside my head and try and make me feel better. I also don't really cry much anymore because of this one girl, and in my world, no matter were you are they can see you. it just keeps whispering the same thing over and over again. so yeah, feel you. im sorry if I wasted your time
Reading this makes me so glad that I had 16 years of normal life prior to depression. From then on, it has been a struggle with depression and anxiety. Regarding the last part of your comment, don't bother trying to please other people. The suffocation is only going to be continue as people will demand more. You have probably heard this alot and I know how hard it is to do so. People who don't see depression as a legitimate illness and put unreasonable expectations on you are influenced by the problem society we live in. They are the problem rather than you. As far as getting help, and advice, seeing a professional is always the best, because unlike others, the give better advice, they are trained to handle heavy subjects without being personally affected by it themselves, and can give you the right tools to cope with your situation. Medications take the edge off depression and are a great combination with regular therapy sessions. All the best.
I know how you feel I struggle with the same type thing. I am 12 (almost 13) and I just try to think of things that can break me out of the glass like friends, lovers, and books. Anything or anyone that I love helps me to be strong and break the glass. Then a few weeks later the glass has surrownded me again. Then you just have to start the process over again, and again, and again. I see you are a fan of books? Try thinking of your favorite book character to cheer you up! Or if you have a friend who read the same book as you then talk about it with them. In this way you could also make new friends! If this doesn't work try diffrent things until you find a solution thats best for you. Hope you find you solution!
Oh! I just wanna hug you. You are describing my life to the point of fault. When I told my parents I had depression ,they became scared and told me I m not ,I m just sad. They love me but don't want to deal with reality. Never believe in God's you all , it just makes us poppycock. I have always tried so desperately to ask for help, for them to just throw it in my face like it's any other day. It's so painful to go on everyday. I just wish it would stop. I don't even care anymore. It has become very distinctly clear that I was not made for this world. Wish u would get better though, it's already too late for me.
I know where you're coming from.
The person pointing out that sadness is a feeling and depression often completely strips away feelings leaving you numb? That's me.
is your username from the land of stories series? Just wondering
Sadly not. No twin brother either! ☹
This comment has been deleted.
This is totally me. I often don't feel depressed, but I can't bring myself to do the things I need to do. The situation is compounded by PTSD. Some days I just sit inside and can't move. I get overwhelmed by the number of things I "need" to do in a day (they often don't actually need to be done on a particular day). My brother suggested that I choose only one thing to do in a day and this has helped. If I can do one thing, then I can often do another thing as well. Or my son comes over to help (I often don't need help, just some moral support). It's hard to live this way.
I'm sure that just his being there make you feel supported.
Wow ! You have just described me . I am the same. You are lucky your son comes by to see you. Mine is 32, and has a GF of 2 yrs and he is NOT allowed to see me since the week before Thanksgiving. So we had not Thanksgiving, then my Malamute died in early Dec, then no son for Christmas or New Years, and then my other dog died from Cancer. I was numb and did not do a damn thing except stare at my PC screen. I would write a list everyday and do nothing on it. The list is SO LONG now. But I am starting to come out of it. So I hope that you feel much better too .
I hope you find your solution too! I love your brother's advice keep working at it, and always have hope!
I'm 13, and have been struggling with depression for most of my life. One thing I find insanely hard to answer is when my parents or friends ask me what makes me happy. Depression has made me so out of touch with my emotions that I don't even remember what it feels like to be happy. To make the situation even worse, my whole life, I have been able to feel others emotions as strongly as if not more expressively than them, so there are so many instances where I don't know if the emotions i'm feeling are mine or someone else's. It often feels like i'm strapped to a chair in a tiny glass room. The world is moving by so fast, right outside the walls, but I can't join in. And then peoples expectations of me block the air supply, and if I try to scream for help, no one hears. And I'm left trapped in a little glass room, slowly suffocating.
Oh, sweetheart, please take your post to your parents, a teacher or an adult you trust and ask for some help. Your description of your symptoms sounds like disassociation and that is a very significant indication of major depression. I know from experience as both of my daughters suffered from this during their adolescence, as did I. Treatment works, it takes time but it does work and you will come out on the other side one day. You are not alone <3
@bookfan: I love your analogy. You sound like a very creative and imaginative person. I've suffered from depression since childhood, and my first major episode was when I was not quite 15. I'd like to offer some advice: start keeping a journal. Get a pretty one that makes you happy just to look at it and hold it. You don't need to write everyday. Write short stories, poems (they don't have to be perfect, no one but you will ever read them), letters to people you have lost in your life, and letters to people who have hurt you, made you angry or disappointed you (they will never see them). Then go back and read your entries from time to time. This helps you to see the progress you have made, and helps you to keep things in perspective (your memory likes to play tricks on you). It will also remind you of the people who were kind to you or supportive. It will also help you to get to know better the unique person who is YOU. Sending love and hope and best wishes. ❤👍
They're Impossible Task might be keeping a journal. I don't do that because writing is a pain. I like your comment though.
You are very eloquent. I have also felt like I'm behind a glass wall though I imagine mine as being slightly murky in places and what I do want to see, I can't. Deborah and BusLady have made good suggestions. I've found taking my dogs out for a walk and focusing on their pleasure to be helpful but not every one has or can have a dog. Other than that reading, reading, reading. Also sending hope and best wishes. ♥
Hey, I get how you feel. Im 13 as well, I've struggled for months. It feels li,e so many things that make me hate my life, It's overwhelming. It's almost like a wave. I hate how I look, I hate my personality, I hate what I say, and I hate who I am. I never feel Iike anything I do is enough for anyone. I hate telling anyone face to face. It's easier on here because I'm not really here, but I always feel ashamed to tell someone, as if Im weak, or stupid. It starts a whole new cycle. The one time I tried to tell my parents, My dad got mad at me and called me an ingrate, because "I already have a great life, how could I be depressed? how could I want to possibly kill myself?" I relate so much to what you say about the glass room. I feel though, that everyone is constantly watching me in that room, analyzing me. Don't you wish you could break it?
Ugh there are so many arrogant and ignorant parents these days. I couldn't talk about my feelings to one of my parents without them bringing up the 'so many people are worse off than you,' or 'stop feeling sorry for yourself all the time', or 'killing yourself isn't going to get you any attention, people will feel sad for a bit and then forget'.
I see you and I hear you and I feel the things which may - yet - have no name for you. But they will. And eventually others will see you and hear you and, yes, the feelings will have names and they will be feelings with names that you like. Keep searching, keep looking, keep going. You are worth the effort.
I'm sending love and force to you. One day at a time. I know it's difficult but better days will come. Just please don't give up. You are not alone, even if you feel like you are.
Bookfan please, please hold on. This site helped me a lot, it might help you, or someone you know>>>>. https://www.metanoia.org/<<<< I can sooo relate to what you said. You can ring someone like Lifeline in Australia, 13 11 14 and just ask questions. If the first help you get does not help, tell them, and get them to try something else.
Congratulations on surviving so far. It is a real accomplishment. from one depression survivor to another.
I feel the same way. I try to tell my parents about it but when I do they just say “oh no I don’t think you have depression your just too dramatic about everything.” And I hate it when people just say to talk about it to someone. I have a therapist but I honestly hate talking to her. She makes me feel like a insane person. My friends don’t have therapists. I don’t want anyone to of me of that crazy girl or the over dramatic or just that sad girl. I want them to think of me as one of them. I wanna be one of them. So I always wanna keep my mouth shut about what’s happening in my life, or else I fear that everyone will think of me differently.
I feel you right there. I am only 12 and many girls have broken my trust I feel like I cat trust any girls. the trust issues got worse in middle school. I hate my life right now, I make to many jokes about it and I hate my self for it. some days are better than others, and on those bad days, I draw. it helps me, and because of that, I have gotten so much better at drawing. many people compliment me, but in my head when they do compliment me, they see inside my head and try and make me feel better. I also don't really cry much anymore because of this one girl, and in my world, no matter were you are they can see you. it just keeps whispering the same thing over and over again. so yeah, feel you. im sorry if I wasted your time
Reading this makes me so glad that I had 16 years of normal life prior to depression. From then on, it has been a struggle with depression and anxiety. Regarding the last part of your comment, don't bother trying to please other people. The suffocation is only going to be continue as people will demand more. You have probably heard this alot and I know how hard it is to do so. People who don't see depression as a legitimate illness and put unreasonable expectations on you are influenced by the problem society we live in. They are the problem rather than you. As far as getting help, and advice, seeing a professional is always the best, because unlike others, the give better advice, they are trained to handle heavy subjects without being personally affected by it themselves, and can give you the right tools to cope with your situation. Medications take the edge off depression and are a great combination with regular therapy sessions. All the best.
I know how you feel I struggle with the same type thing. I am 12 (almost 13) and I just try to think of things that can break me out of the glass like friends, lovers, and books. Anything or anyone that I love helps me to be strong and break the glass. Then a few weeks later the glass has surrownded me again. Then you just have to start the process over again, and again, and again. I see you are a fan of books? Try thinking of your favorite book character to cheer you up! Or if you have a friend who read the same book as you then talk about it with them. In this way you could also make new friends! If this doesn't work try diffrent things until you find a solution thats best for you. Hope you find you solution!
Oh! I just wanna hug you. You are describing my life to the point of fault. When I told my parents I had depression ,they became scared and told me I m not ,I m just sad. They love me but don't want to deal with reality. Never believe in God's you all , it just makes us poppycock. I have always tried so desperately to ask for help, for them to just throw it in my face like it's any other day. It's so painful to go on everyday. I just wish it would stop. I don't even care anymore. It has become very distinctly clear that I was not made for this world. Wish u would get better though, it's already too late for me.
I know where you're coming from.
The person pointing out that sadness is a feeling and depression often completely strips away feelings leaving you numb? That's me.
is your username from the land of stories series? Just wondering
Sadly not. No twin brother either! ☹
This comment has been deleted.
This is totally me. I often don't feel depressed, but I can't bring myself to do the things I need to do. The situation is compounded by PTSD. Some days I just sit inside and can't move. I get overwhelmed by the number of things I "need" to do in a day (they often don't actually need to be done on a particular day). My brother suggested that I choose only one thing to do in a day and this has helped. If I can do one thing, then I can often do another thing as well. Or my son comes over to help (I often don't need help, just some moral support). It's hard to live this way.
I'm sure that just his being there make you feel supported.
Wow ! You have just described me . I am the same. You are lucky your son comes by to see you. Mine is 32, and has a GF of 2 yrs and he is NOT allowed to see me since the week before Thanksgiving. So we had not Thanksgiving, then my Malamute died in early Dec, then no son for Christmas or New Years, and then my other dog died from Cancer. I was numb and did not do a damn thing except stare at my PC screen. I would write a list everyday and do nothing on it. The list is SO LONG now. But I am starting to come out of it. So I hope that you feel much better too .
I hope you find your solution too! I love your brother's advice keep working at it, and always have hope!