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“Rude Awakening”: Woman “Finds Herself” Single After BF Learns Why She Wanted A Solo Vacation
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“Rude Awakening”: Woman “Finds Herself” Single After BF Learns Why She Wanted A Solo Vacation

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Splitting the costs is one of the things couples have to seriously consider before taking off to their perfect vacation destination. Dividing it by 50/50 may seem like the most straightforward option, but in reality, partners rarely make the same amount of money. 

Redditor Fabulous-Plenty-5465 decided to cover all the expenses of their holiday, as his girlfriend had a less-paying job, and he wished to relax without any additional stress of finances. However, right at the end of the trip, she announced wanting to stay longer without him, expecting continued financial support. Feeling hurt and exploited, he refused, leaving her to her own devices. 

Splitting the couple’s vacation costs might be challenging for some

Image credits: Alex Green (not the actual photo)

To avoid additional stress, this BF decided to cover everything, and as a thank-you, his GF decided to stay longer with another man

Image source: Fabulous-Plenty-5465

Communicating what both partners want from their holiday and budgeting for it ahead of time is very important

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Image credits: Mikhail Nilov (not the actual photo)

According to Dr. Wendy Walsh, author of The 30-Day Love Detox, communicating what both partners want from their holiday and budgeting for it ahead of time is very important. While the money talk isn’t something everyone is comfortable addressing, having a quick conversation about who pays for what makes for a much more pleasant and conflict-free experience. 

One way to divide trip expenses is to keep separate travel funds. This is especially convenient for couples who haven’t been dating for too long and are worried about combining their finances. Each person can cover their own transportation expenses, such as flights, and take turns booking accommodations.  For instance, one can pay for the first three nights in Paris, and the other could cover four days in Florence (so it averages out). The same can be done with meals. 

If the couple really wants to keep things even, they can set up a travel fund in which they both contribute half of the amount. Let’s say they plan on spending $1,500 on a trip to Hawaii. Then they would each need to put $750 into that account. Later, the money can be used to cover mutual expenses like transportation, accommodation, and food, while purchases like souvenirs or clothes remain separate. 

There’s even an option where one partner pays for everything, meticulously keeps track of it, and the other person pays them back at the end of each day, week, or destination. Or both of them can take turns covering the costs while monitoring them and paying back the difference later. For this, some advise using a spreadsheet like a Google Doc, so all expenses are organized and documented. 

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Some think it’s almost unfair to divide finances 50/50

Image credits: Mikhail Nilov (not the actual photo)

However, when it comes to splitting costs, social psychologist Michael Kraus says, “You’re not going to have an answer that’s going to be the same for each couple about what is fair.” Since partners rarely get paid the same amount, some think it’s almost unfair to divide finances 50/50 without taking into account the other person’s situation. 

One partner may be burdened with student loans or have a less-paying job than the other. Therefore, it might not be just for the couple to split expenses evenly because that would make up 90% of one person’s check and 40% of the other. 

Financial planner Cathy Curtis recommends, “I advise young couples to seriously consider splitting the household bills according to income and then revisiting it every year as incomes change.” This can allow both people to save money for goals such as retirement, especially the person with a lower income. 

“When I bring it up, I see relief in the face of the person making less money,” said Curtis. “I think it’s totally fair, [and] I think it makes for greater equity, less resentment, and also creates more communication around money.”

People in the comments supported the author’s decision

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Readers suspected that the girlfriend wanted to stay longer for another guy

After some time, the author provided an update

Image credits: Ahmet Polat (not the actual photo)

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de-snoekies avatar
Alexandra
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The nerve! She wants you to buy the gun with which she can shoot you, metaphorically speaking of course.

fuyu avatar
fu yu
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Serious. At least the story has a silver lining. He could've been MARRIED to this woman.

Load More Replies...
shaunlee avatar
SheamusFanFrom1987
Community Member
1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good that OP told that poor, cheating excuse of a GF Arrivederci and decided to eventually move on with his life. From his update, it's clear she has less than wholesome reasons for "discovering herself". Also, said friends who called OP a-hole can stop running their traps and start forking out for her Rome Romance then. People, sheesh -_-

mooglestan2014 avatar
Moogie
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She just wants to spend time with her sneaky link, and use her boyfriend for money. I cannot believe what extremes people go to conceal their true, cheating, gold-digger personality!

coreypichler avatar
CP
Community Member
1 month ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Makabert, you are so cool and edgy. How can I be just like you? Should I start with losing any sense of decency?

Load More Replies...
deannababy61 avatar
Deanna Crichley
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why didn't the new guy fund her extended stay? Can the new guy not afford her? Or is he less interested in her than she was interested in him?

napalm-glop avatar
Rod
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hang in there buddy! I know how you feel as I've been in a similar situation. It's hurting bad right now but soon enough you'll be free from this and feel great.

cathelijnevan avatar
Cathelijne Van
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm sorry but how do you meet someone while you are together on a vacation??? With 2 years relationship you should be inseparable 🤔

kelleygilbertzumwalt avatar
Couragetcd
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He mentioned that he didn't feel well and stayed in one night and she went out without him. Which is a red flag right there IMO. Sure if they were only there for a few days, but if my siggy and I were in a hotel for 2 weeks, I think I can handle staying in with room service or delivery for a night to keep him company.

Load More Replies...
andreadevine avatar
Full of Giggles
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He dodged a bullet. She sounds like a gold digger in the making.

paulc_1 avatar
Paul C
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Find herself in Italy" sounds a lot like she really means she wants to "find some Italians on top of her in Italy". And get her mug of a bf to pay for it.

charlesmcchristy avatar
Charles McChristy
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Seriously, how did this b!mbo think this was going to play out? She tried to play him like a sucker. Glad he was smarter than that!

marigenbeltran_2 avatar
Windtree
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm glad OP broke up with his now ex-girlfriend. She only wanted to remain with him because OP didn't pay for her "finding herself" trip and if he had forgiven her he would have been her sloppy seconds. Or how we say it where I live: Plato de segunda mesa.

hermom504 avatar
WonderWoman
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

On vacation paid for by your SO, you somehow find someone who may or may not be a better fit? HOW? When? Where? WT AF?

paulojdleitao avatar
Paulo Leitao
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i will say what most people are probably thinking. she wanted to f**k around, on the guy's expense. what other chance of getting italian sausage would she get, if she does not make enough to go on vacation by herself? is this conclusion harsh ? yes. is it probable ? very.

dremosley avatar
Dre Mosley
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If she wants to "find herself," let her pay out of her own pocket.

linnoff avatar
Linnoff
Community Member
4 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

All I could think while reading this was the line from Chicago "I loved Alvin Lipschitz, he was a real artistic guy, sensitive, a painter, but he was always trying to find himself. He go out every night looking for himself and on the way, he found Ruth, Gladys, Rosemary and Irving"

mekla avatar
Melissa anderson
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why should he r boyfriend pay for her extended vacation for only her so she can have sex with a stranger she met there?

st-simon12 avatar
Sim
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would cancel the hotels, book my own separately and let her fund ger entire stay. There are cheap hostels in Italy and she can take the train.

jldrumm avatar
Captain McSmoot
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OP, dude. You're her boyfriend/soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend, not her father. It's not your place to financially support her solo vacation/sleeping around in Italy.

andy_feeney avatar
Costa
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Clearly got fixed up with a randy Italian waiter but can't do anything about it until BF is off the scene.

glennschroeder avatar
Papa
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If she really just wanted to find herself (whatever that means) and think about their relationship she could have done that back home.

williamteach avatar
William Teach
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, I was hoping that the update would be included. Too bad he couldn't switch his seat for the flight home. Or switch hers. I'd be using the noise cancelling headphones the entire way home

ephemeraimage avatar
Ephemera Image
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, I would have cancelled her ticket at the airport, lol. OP is far too nice. She used him for a free vacation.

oldmanfl01 avatar
Steve Hall
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I guess it's true that you can't have your cake and eat it too.

fluffydreg avatar
FluffyDreg
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Tbis has nothing to do with the story but like I don't get that phrase. Isn't the point of having cake is so you can eat it???

Load More Replies...
de-snoekies avatar
Alexandra
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The nerve! She wants you to buy the gun with which she can shoot you, metaphorically speaking of course.

fuyu avatar
fu yu
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Serious. At least the story has a silver lining. He could've been MARRIED to this woman.

Load More Replies...
shaunlee avatar
SheamusFanFrom1987
Community Member
1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good that OP told that poor, cheating excuse of a GF Arrivederci and decided to eventually move on with his life. From his update, it's clear she has less than wholesome reasons for "discovering herself". Also, said friends who called OP a-hole can stop running their traps and start forking out for her Rome Romance then. People, sheesh -_-

mooglestan2014 avatar
Moogie
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She just wants to spend time with her sneaky link, and use her boyfriend for money. I cannot believe what extremes people go to conceal their true, cheating, gold-digger personality!

coreypichler avatar
CP
Community Member
1 month ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Makabert, you are so cool and edgy. How can I be just like you? Should I start with losing any sense of decency?

Load More Replies...
deannababy61 avatar
Deanna Crichley
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why didn't the new guy fund her extended stay? Can the new guy not afford her? Or is he less interested in her than she was interested in him?

napalm-glop avatar
Rod
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hang in there buddy! I know how you feel as I've been in a similar situation. It's hurting bad right now but soon enough you'll be free from this and feel great.

cathelijnevan avatar
Cathelijne Van
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm sorry but how do you meet someone while you are together on a vacation??? With 2 years relationship you should be inseparable 🤔

kelleygilbertzumwalt avatar
Couragetcd
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He mentioned that he didn't feel well and stayed in one night and she went out without him. Which is a red flag right there IMO. Sure if they were only there for a few days, but if my siggy and I were in a hotel for 2 weeks, I think I can handle staying in with room service or delivery for a night to keep him company.

Load More Replies...
andreadevine avatar
Full of Giggles
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He dodged a bullet. She sounds like a gold digger in the making.

paulc_1 avatar
Paul C
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Find herself in Italy" sounds a lot like she really means she wants to "find some Italians on top of her in Italy". And get her mug of a bf to pay for it.

charlesmcchristy avatar
Charles McChristy
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Seriously, how did this b!mbo think this was going to play out? She tried to play him like a sucker. Glad he was smarter than that!

marigenbeltran_2 avatar
Windtree
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm glad OP broke up with his now ex-girlfriend. She only wanted to remain with him because OP didn't pay for her "finding herself" trip and if he had forgiven her he would have been her sloppy seconds. Or how we say it where I live: Plato de segunda mesa.

hermom504 avatar
WonderWoman
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

On vacation paid for by your SO, you somehow find someone who may or may not be a better fit? HOW? When? Where? WT AF?

paulojdleitao avatar
Paulo Leitao
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i will say what most people are probably thinking. she wanted to f**k around, on the guy's expense. what other chance of getting italian sausage would she get, if she does not make enough to go on vacation by herself? is this conclusion harsh ? yes. is it probable ? very.

dremosley avatar
Dre Mosley
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If she wants to "find herself," let her pay out of her own pocket.

linnoff avatar
Linnoff
Community Member
4 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

All I could think while reading this was the line from Chicago "I loved Alvin Lipschitz, he was a real artistic guy, sensitive, a painter, but he was always trying to find himself. He go out every night looking for himself and on the way, he found Ruth, Gladys, Rosemary and Irving"

mekla avatar
Melissa anderson
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why should he r boyfriend pay for her extended vacation for only her so she can have sex with a stranger she met there?

st-simon12 avatar
Sim
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would cancel the hotels, book my own separately and let her fund ger entire stay. There are cheap hostels in Italy and she can take the train.

jldrumm avatar
Captain McSmoot
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OP, dude. You're her boyfriend/soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend, not her father. It's not your place to financially support her solo vacation/sleeping around in Italy.

andy_feeney avatar
Costa
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Clearly got fixed up with a randy Italian waiter but can't do anything about it until BF is off the scene.

glennschroeder avatar
Papa
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If she really just wanted to find herself (whatever that means) and think about their relationship she could have done that back home.

williamteach avatar
William Teach
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, I was hoping that the update would be included. Too bad he couldn't switch his seat for the flight home. Or switch hers. I'd be using the noise cancelling headphones the entire way home

ephemeraimage avatar
Ephemera Image
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, I would have cancelled her ticket at the airport, lol. OP is far too nice. She used him for a free vacation.

oldmanfl01 avatar
Steve Hall
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I guess it's true that you can't have your cake and eat it too.

fluffydreg avatar
FluffyDreg
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Tbis has nothing to do with the story but like I don't get that phrase. Isn't the point of having cake is so you can eat it???

Load More Replies...
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