Grandma Says She Can Take Better Care Of Disobedient 14 Y.O. Than Mom, Learns Truth The Hard Way

Grandma "I am a better mum". Also Grandma "get her out of here, I need a smoke" HAHAHA. And yes, I love that guy too LOL.

I'm stuck on the phrasing here: "Took her vape away." That phrasing implies that this child has a vape that people see as "hers," and that the taking of it was part of a punishment. What the hell? Amongst good parents, I'd like to think the phrasing would be, "I found out she had gotten a vape and I destroyed it."

Why do all the comments 'Bored Panda' posts leave me feeling like some AI bot is trying to lead a group therapy workshop? Initiated by stating a positive reinforcing comment to a previous comment, followed up with 'what are your thoughts' questions, while trying to illicit an open ended dialogue touching on the deeper points of the original posts? Mindfulness Panda Workshop 101 (my apologies if I've offended anyone who enjoys this)

I tested my limits with my mom when I was 11. Ii decided that I was bigger and tougher than she was. I ended up flat on my back, on the kitchen floor with mom sitting on me. The takedown was swift and merciless. I wasn't hurt. No physical injuries. Only thing injured was my pride.

Kudos to the parents! Sometimes lessons are only learned the hard way. There's one thing though: the vape. That should absolutely go or else she runs the risk of having bad lungns before she turns 25.

No d***s are good for a kid. Probably part of her problem. D***s, including alcohol and weed, have a place in adult society, but not for kids.

This story generated the most comments I have ever seen on this web site. One thing we can all agree on: parenting is NOT a cake walk. I have been a parent, 1 son. He is an adult now. I have never been a parent to a daughter. I am not a grandma nor an MIL. I hope I would have the good sense that so long as my son and his future wife are not performing child abuse on their children, I would keep my mouth shut about their parenting. Because I have been a mother and worked full time. It was not easy. And that was in the 90s.

I think this all played out well. But now the tough love needs to come with compassion and understanding. Sometimes these behaviours come from low self esteem. Now with everyone "not wanting to look after her" she's going to think no one loves her. Her behaviour will get worse. Find a way to connect. She's not going to readily talk but maybe some of her punishment can be to assist you with cooking or do a home project together. You might have the opportunity to break some barriers when doing an activity together. And remind her that she is loved but the behaviour is not

Logical and natural consequences, for both daughter and grandmother. Way to go!

Grandma interfered and found out what a little b***h she is being and wants Mama to come get her the next day. Grandma got what she asked for! As for Tamara, I don't care if she is 14 she's not to old for an a*s beating for the behavior, smoking and skipping school. If I had done anything like that at 14 my Mama would have knocked me into the next decade.

My 13 year old daughter also called her grandparents when she had things taken away and was grounded and my parents (who heavily contributed to the struggles I had parenting 13 due to a complete disregard for boundaries) came immediately over after I told them no, to get their granddaughter because they always said she “needs a break from me/siblings” and I said absolutely no way she’s going and having a little vacay at grandma’s instead of the appropriate consequences of her behaviour at home. My parents screamed in my face for two hours , threatening to call the police if I didn’t hand over 13, scaring 3 & 6 year old grandchildren and tried to break in the door. After that I said we were taking a break from them and they FILED A LAWSUIT demanding forced visitation with 13 that would be the equivalent of 50% custody..the clincher? I had just started chemotherapy the week prior. Grandparents should SUPPORT the parenting of their kids not sabotage it at every opportunity. Bad People

Go mom for putting daughter AND grandma in place in a way that hurt nobody. Go hubby for having his wife's back and sticking to his guns. And go son for getting to help with the birth of a colt. What a cool experience! All in all I love what a good ending this had for everyone involved. And yes, I do consider Tamara as getting a good ending. Her family taught her a valuable lesson and still loved her in the end. AND she might be getting counseling.

I hope OP gave MIL a hug when she admitted defeat.

I raised mine I don’t tell the kids how to raise theirs and the only advice I give the grandkids rising theirs it to trust their instincts. As a mom natural consequences were the norm. Actions have consequences, words have consequences.

LMAO at that last comment. This was a very satisfying story, what with kid and grandma getting precisely what they asked for and the entire extended family having mom's back. 😆

A friend did the same for her poor grandson except he actually came to live with her. She also found out the hard truth. He was much more of a delinquent. It sounds like Mom & son had a wonderful drama-free week at the other grandparents. Win for them!

Yes weed vape is a thing... I have had those myself. BUT more than likely the daughter had a delta 8 vape, which is legal in most states and easier to get a hold of. Where I live weed is still illegal and it's harder to get a hold of those kind of vapes unless you live in a state that has weed legal. My friend had to go to NY to get weed vapes for me and a few others due to being legal in NY. If she tried to ordered it online they would not mail it if she lives in a state that it's illegal unlike delta 8, they do ship that to any state that has delta 8 legal. I used to order delta 8 online when my friend hasnt been to NY recently. It's really easy for kids to buy delta 8 at gas stations, that's how my 16yr old daughter's 17yr old friend gets his. Unfortunately my 16yr old vapes flavor nicotine, thanks to her idiot dad that lives in a different state than us getting her on vaping nicotine at 14 plus her older sister that's 21 vapes nicotine too. Thanks to her dad when she was 13🙄

Why are they letting her vape weed or otherwise??? Have they not seen all the kids hooked up to ventilators or flat out dying because of vaping??? They need to put a stop to that ASAP!!!

Looks like BOTH Granny & Precious Grandlamb got a learning experience. And as for the Boomer remarks: SWEETY, GRANDBABY IS SIMPLY FOLLOWING IN GRANDPA & GRANDMA'S OLD COUNTERCULTURE 'HIPPY-DIPPY' ACT! Take it from a pair of old Baby Boomers who lived through the scheissen & were the nerdy 'oddmen out'!

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If your teenager never thinks you're an AH, you're probably not doing it right. That doesn't mean to be one, but the vast majority are gonna push those boundaries, if you don't push back or at least stand your ground things can spin out of control quickly. Obviously some kids are more challenging than others so one size doesn't fit all, but kids allowed to run their own show all the time can be in a life changing situation in no time. And it's usually not a good change. Sometimes being a good parent makes us the bad guy.

I think it should have been the op that made more consequences when the daughter came home and not the dad. I think daughter seems to think she can get away with being like that around mom and nit with dad based on ops comments that she doesn't behave like that when he's around. I say this as a former 14yo girl who definitely tried this with my own mom when dad was away. I always viewed dad as the disciplinary one. I need to emphasise the tried part because I soon found out my mom was acrually the stricter parent!

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She needs to do more fun stuff with the daughter. Take her for girly lunch or shopping or something. Girls go through a pulling away period in their teens and it sounds like this is made worse by falling in with the wrong crowd. Mom needs to transition into a more adult relationship with her daughter, treating her like a child will make her pull further away.