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23 Men Share How Life Turned Upside Down After They Ruined Things With Their Partners
Article created by: Monika Pašukonytė
As a hopeless romantic at heart, I honestly believe in true love, finding the one, and all that jazz. However, I am not blind to the fact that we are all humans in the end, so very likely to make mistakes and ruin things even with our soulmates.
Well, when Reddit user Calm-Jackfruit-8671 asked, “To the men who messed it up with an amazing girlfriend/wife, how is your life now?”, male netizens shared whether life turned for the better or worse. If you have messed up similarly, you might also be able to relate to these stories, so just scroll down to read them!
More info: Reddit
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#1
Broke up at 19, she was a great girl and turned out to be a great woman. I was hanging with so called “friends” that was terrible.
Crossed paths at 32, we hung out and recently engaged, getting married in October!
I appreciate her everyday!
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#2
Not the man, but my husband and I separated a little over two years ago due to his alcoholism. He eventually went to rehab, did a DBT program, and stayed sober and consistently went to individual therapy and Smart Recovery meetings for over a year. He took accountability for his choices and then started (respectfully and slowly) courting me again, complimenting me and bringing me flowers when he picked up/dropped off the kids, cleaning the kitchen when I finally invited him to stay for dinner, etc. The rest was history and we moved back in together in late October. I certainly can’t say every relationship is repairable and every woman is willing to forgive, sometimes it’s just too late- but very often all it takes is to care enough to put in the work to be better.
#3
Was too young to know how good I had it so we broke up so I could move across the world to stretch my legs. Four lonely years helped me realise the world was kinda overrated without the right person to share it with. I moved back and we reconnected, and now there’s three of us and I’ve never been happier.
Edit: the 3rd person in this scenario is my daughter. Because we got married and had a kid. Wth are people reading 👆🏽and thinking we’re poly?
#4
Broke up due to life reasons even though we still deeply loved each other. Fell into depression for a few years after that and never quite recovered.
That was 10 years ago as of this year. I was in my early-mid 20s when we broke up. I've dated a fair amount since then but never found that kind of connection again.
#5
I screwed things up at 18 with a girl I would’ve been happy to marry. Took me almost a decade to get over her. but in that time I became the person I wished I could’ve been for her.
Finally started dating again about 2 years ago. Now I’m really ready for my forever. Wouldn’t have it any other way—I actually know how to act right now.
#6
I’m still dealing with guilt and regret, nearly half a year later. Most of that is from not breaking it off sooner, before some deep resentment took hold. If we had, we might have been able to salvage a friendship.
#7
I wonder how many exes are reading these comments, wondering if the person who messed it up big time with them ever regrets it or misses them. I certainly wonder that at times...
I'm very happy, and I'm glad that ex ended things, because I'm much better off without him. But I do sometimes wonder if he ever regrets the way he treated me. I don't want him to be miserable, but it would be somewhat nice to hear that he wishes he had been better to me.
#8
I broke up with my ex a year and a half ago. She was genuinely kind, loving and warm. Saw a future with her.
The most significant flaw was she had a mother who was a narcissist and she couldn't break free from her. I often wonder if she'd been more capable of dealing with her mother if I'd been a better supporter of her but I was deeply concerned she would be reliant on me to deal with her rather than have the strength on her own.
She moved away immediately after I broke it off and blocked me when I tried to patch things up. Which I think for her sake, I'm glad she did. She now loves hours away from her mother and I hope it has given her the chance to escape her shadow.
I think of her regularly, with sorrow.
#9
It’s been low and dull ever since honestly. I couldn’t have given her the life she deserved anyway.
#10
Lost a masterpiece and kept the frame. Wake up each day surrounded by reminders of colors I couldn't maintain, always wishing I could paint over the smudges and learn the medium of patience. Life is now one big study in longing—nothing beats the beauty of what was once vibrant.
#12
I’m doing well, but it took a lot of time. Both of us are happily married to other people now.
I feel very fortunate to have bounced back and to see her do the same.
Edit: She will always have a part of my heart, but sometimes love is wanting someone to be happy with someone else, rather than with you.
#14
We're together now. It only took nine years and a failed marriage for me to work up the guts to tell her how I really felt about her (six years with my ex and 3 years of rebuilding myself emotionally and financially). It didn't take me nearly that long to second guess myself.
#15
I messed up, she also messed up too. We both did some unkimd things to eachother. We went our ways dated other people for a few years. Found eachother again, apologized, talked through things and now we are 3 years strong strong and I plan to propose soon.
#18
Honestly…it’s really fkn hard. I wish every single day that I didn’t break up with her. So many things remind me of her and there’s still a glimmer of hope that we will be together…I just have no idea how to even approach it and tell her I still love her without opening up previous emotional wounds. I’ve dated after and it just doesn’t feel right.
#19
Hey, I'm actually doing really well now. I've learned a lot from that experience and grown as a person. Thanks for asking.
#20
I miss her. Now I'm losing another person right now. Perfect timing for this post. It was in 2018 the first time.
#21
Everytime looking back years later it’s turned out to be a good thing it happened. So good.
#22
My partner of 3yrs left me in November, no explanation just wasn’t happy anymore, I still think about her every day but every day it gets a bit easier. If it’s meant to be it will be. Love always prevails :).
#23
Mutual split. Miss her. Never felt the love from someone like that before. Circumstances prevented us from staying together. Chose to stay in a toxic household with a toxic ex. It is what it is.
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