Guy Is Fed Up With Girlfriend’s Cooking Because She Puts Her Own Twist On Recipes, Asks For Support Online But Receives A Reality Check
Different cooking philosophies can lead to some spicy and fiery arguments in the kitchen. Some prefer structure, order, and following recipes to the letter. Others embrace the chaos and like to jazz things up. There’s beauty in both of these approaches. But it might be a tad difficult to work together.
The thing is that if you or your partner suddenly try to impose your cooking ideas as the only possible way of doing things, you might just have a falling out. And some arguments are so big, they even end up on the internet. Case in point, one redditor turned to the AITA community for some advice on whether or not he messed up.
The man explained how he’d called his girlfriend out for adjusting and modifying professional cooking recipes on the fly. Members of the subreddit shared their open and honest opinions on the situation, and it looks like the boyfriend was actually open to learning from his mistakes. Read on for the full story.
People draw inspiration from recipes in different ways. Some follow them to the letter. Others modify things as they see fit
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
A guy turned asked the internet if he was wrong to call out his girlfriend for changing some recipes while she was cooking
Image credits: zapCulture (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/throwaway1243127
Something you don’t see all that often is the AITA community overwhelmingly telling someone that, oh my, they are incredibly wrong. Rarer still is a redditor who gets called out for their actions and actually shows that they’re open to correcting their behavior. There’s some hope for humanity after all, it seems.
Most internet users pointed out that the guy was overly strict and really approached things the wrong way when he criticized his girlfriend for modifying the pro recipes they were using. One of the main points that some people made was that cooking was supposed to be fun and that recipes were guidelines rather than ‘contracts.’
Others noted that this was a very weird fight to pick. Especially since the guy appears to enjoy the dishes. It’s the unstructured approach to cooking that irks him.
Nobody really enjoys getting into arguments with their loved ones. The so-called post-argument ‘hangover’ is absolutely awful. Pretty much everyone has said things they didn’t mean in the heat of the moment.
As we’ve discussed in a previous article on Bored Panda, navigating the entire post-argument situation can be uncomfortable. But it is possible.
In short, being in physical contact with your partner can help you move past the situation. A hug or a kiss helps you get back in-sync with each other.
And the argument becomes a lesson, something that strengthens your relationship, rather than a reason for things to eventually fall apart.
This is how the internet reacted to the man’s incredibly strict approach to following recipes
I teach cooking classes to formerly homeless folks who just got their own place. One of the first things I teach is that in cooking, a recipe is nothing more than someone saying âI did this and I liked how it turned out.â Love garlic? Go ahead and double the amount! Hate peas? Maybe carrots would be better! No noodles in the house? Letâs serve it over rice and see if that works! If you like how it turned out, write it down for your own ârecipeâ collection!
That's similar to how I cook. I follow the recipe exactly the first time unless I know there's something in there I won't eat, and depending on how it turns out I'll adjust things to how I like it.
I am with you On this, I try to make the it per the recipe first. So I know what to expect and then tweak it the next time.
Exactly. I cook Ramen in either cream of mushroom or tomato soup, makes a nice filling meal. I've added bacon to hamburger helper. My wife taught me to make meatloaf with ketchup, mustard, and crumbled crackers and topped with American cheese (it was phenomenal). Cooking allows you to think outside the box.
I've done all of those kinds of things too. Also been putting a thick layer of cheese in the middle of my meatloaf for 40+ years. I experiment with different types of cheese. My husband's favorite is Velveeta but mine is goat cheese. Oh and soy sauce or Worcestershire sauce mixed in the ketchup or tomato sauce topping. Sometimes wrap it in bacon too. The OP wouldn't want me to cook for them either. Recipes are a jumpstart not gospel. And I don't measure much. 25 yrs in and my husband has never had a complaint and our friends call me all the time asking me to make their favorites of mine if they pay for my time and the ingredients. Which are usually recipes I invented out of desperation with whatever few items of food we had in the house. I'm betting an overwhelming number of good cooks do things the same way. Cooking is an experiment and we don't all have the same taste.....
That meatloaf sounds awful to me, but if you like it that is all that matters. Recipes are meant to be tweaked to your particular taste anyway. Have fun with them and experiment as you see fit.
Some of the best things I've cooked have been what Mr AH would call frankenfood...you use what you have any way you choose.
You ever see those foods like pineapple pizza or bacon sundaes where it's like, "who was the first crazy person to put those together and discover it's good". ^This^...this is how.
Exactly! While baking does require certain ingredients to be in a certain quantity for specific chemical reactions, most cooking does not. Adding additional spices, substituting this spice for that, adding some extra salt, these things are not going to turn your dish into a time bomb. This dude sounds so friggin a**l not quite sure how someone has lived with them for 4 years...
So often published recipes are just flat-out wrong. 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon in a 9" pie? You're not even going to taste that. Caramelized onions in 5 minutes? Yeah, I got a nice bridge in Brooklyn for ya if you believe that's possible.
Thank God! I thought something was wrong with me, I just pour cinnamon and vanilla in things and thought I was crazy cuz I can't taste it until I at least triple most recipes.
Nothing's wrong with you except having the tastebuds of a salt water fish. I bet that pie is good with triple cinnamon tho. Both are meant to be pretty subtle in most baking, i.e. you're not supposed to taste it. Still you like it, I bet it's awesome if nobody gags and says too much keep doing it your way, right?
A common issue with dried herbs and spices is that the ones we have at home are often old and not as potent as they would be if fresher. For example: ground cinnamon or cassias losses it's zip within a year or less; depending on storage and how old it is at purchase. Most people only use a tablespoon or two a year so it goes stale. Buying small abouts from bulk stores is an effective way to ensure freshness. Grinding spices from whole in a coffee grinder or morter and pestle is optimum. Dried herbs are only good for a few months. Storing in the fridge can length self life.
Lol. This is true and not true. I have certain spices that I have used for over 10 years. Yep. When people visit, they often request a favorite dish of mine that they have had. Some of the spices like certain brands of cardamom or nihari Masala are no longer available so I learned to keep my spices. I KNOW the rule is to throw them out, start over and for many, I do but for some I do not. Those who get their requested dish of mine always exclaim they cannot understand why my dish always taste so good..because there are many spices and dried herbs or concoctions that improve with age just like a fine wine, port, or vinegar. I have some spices that have been curing over 30 years. But if people knew some spices get better with age they would buy a lot less. Spices. Not herbs and I am referring to dishes requiring a dried blend not those that require the bright flavors of a fresh herb.
Beware of making alterations to baking recipes unless you've been baking for decades and understand the science behind those recipes, as baking is an exact science and the ratio of ingredients is often instrumental to the success of a recipe. But when you're cooking, let your creativity fly and do whatever alterations you want to make to the dish (but also don't complain about the recipe itself if it turns out to taste awful).
That's sort of true. The core ingredients (flour/oil/baking powder or soda/eggs) often need to be proportioned. However spices don't. They can be changed with the only risk is to the flavor.
Exactly.
My thoughts too.
This is true when it comes to the chemistry of baking but for seasoning, it should be OK to riff. Butter is not a seasoning. Cinnamon is, sugar can and other ingredients can affect the crumb or texture. I am not a baker but like most cooks do end up baking certain things. I find desserts can often be rifled on but breads cannot.
Nah, that's about the chemistry, not some flavour ingredients. And even the chemistry forgives a few changes here and there if you have at least a tiny bit of understanding what what does.
This is very true. You have to have been baking for quite a while to adjust a baking recipe. I made a cherry pie that called for 5 cups of frozen cherries. I only had 3. I knew I had to adjust the cornstarch or it would be too thick so I added half and later added a little more for texture. I was careful about the amount of sugar also. Although pie filling is still more forgiving than a dough or cake.
Throw a couple pinches of baking soda in with those onions and they will caramelize much faster. But not more than a quarter tsp or so or else you will end up with them melting into a puddle of sugary goo.
I'm sorry have you actually seen a recipe call for caramelized onions in 5 minutes? Because that is LITERALLY insane, and I'm having trouble processing that an actual recipe like that exists. It's barely enough time to start to soften the onions
I mostly definitely have seen some that give 20 minutes to caramelize onions, and that's still nowhere near enough time for true caramelization.
The difference is the professional chef has a better oven and pots which makes the process 10x faster also depends on which onion type used
I'm no professional but I do have a few expensive pots and pans. Plus have used both induction and gas stoves and maybe if you mince 1/4 cup of onions you can achieve that
If you add a tiny bit of sugar or salt the process is much faster.
Yep. I also suggested baking soda above is the one I've found works best. Lots of different things to try.
Yup, I've actually seen recipes that claim 5 minutes will caramelize onions. Crazy!!
There are ways to speed up the carmelization process. But they involve affecting the flavor profile too.
More like 20 minutes for amount of onions I use!
This comment has been deleted.
I feel that, cooked corn fritters and it asked for only 1/4 teaspoons of sugar which was definitely not enough
Depends on the corn and your tastes. The cultivar " candy corn" is sooo sweet that adding extra sugar to the batter is debatable.
Yeah, couples cooking together looks so romantic on the TV. in real life, stay the F out of the kitchen whilst I'm preparing food. She has her way of doing things, you have yours, both are fine, just don't try and mix them.
And definitely don't insist your way is the only way and then go crying to random strangers on the internet for validation.
I cook with my wife often. It always is romantic. The difference is that one of us takes the lead(we switch off) and the other assists! Been doing this well over 6 years and its been magical
It's only good if you have space for two people to work at the same time.
And one of you is willing to follow and let the other lead.
I love cooking with someone and miss the comraderie of it. One of the vacuums in my married life was that my husband could not cook, had little interest in trying new foods and did not want to learn about cooking. ( he is deceased now) I come from a family of cooks. We talk about food, recipes, what we ate, where, planning food trips etc anytime we call each other. I once cooked with a guy who prepped my veggies and asked so many questions about the why's of what I was doing..I considered leaving my husband for him. He was talking my language and that joy and immersion from both of us resonated. But he had other qualities that are incompatible so..no. A great partner in the kitchen helps but also stays in their lane. I am only territorial if I am crowded or someone keeps taking my ingredients or utensils/pots/bowls. Etc. Also, don't tell me how to cook. Most don't occasionally some try. I tell them to go sit down.
OMG. My family is the same way. We're all foodies. We talk about what we made, what we ate and where we ate it. I would rather be alone to cook. I don't care if someone preps for me, like dicing veggies, but I'll do the rest. If there are too many people around me, I might get distracted and forget something. It's just so nice to hear of someone who comes from the same type of family.
Pretty wise advice, especially for competitive couples.
I make cooking dinner together my go to for dating as it's a fun way to spend time with people with clothes on and I've never had an issue. Current person I sleep with doesn't like salt, I just cook without salt and season my own stuff to taste.
Cooking with a bit of salt and adding it later are two very, very different things. Salt can add a new dimension to crusts and crumb and can affect how other seasonings marry into a dish. ADDING salt after a dish is prepared will give a very different flavor profile and may also affect texture. The WHEN of adding spices is just as important as what and how much. If you are a foodie, adding salt after the dish is done shortchanged that dish if it is a necessary ingredient. This matters less if you just cook to eat. I have made up my mind (now that I am single again) that I will NOT date or bother with a man who does not appreciate cooking as well as food, does not like to cook or want to learn, does not read books and does not like Christmas. My husband did read ( hard and fast nonstarter for me) and he liked to eat but was indifferent to the process. I wanted to discuss everything about the ingredients, where they came from, etc. Total immersion. I want that and honestly " the person you are sleeping with now? Is she a woman or a thing? Wtf. She is not your gf?
Current person you sleep with? That's a terrible way to say that. There so many other ways to have phrased it, the person I'm dating, my current relationship, hell my friend. I think you just said that looking for some type of reaction.
I agree. Total cook and foodie here but that last line made my skin crawl. She merited a verbal phrase not a noun. Guess he could have said worse.
Are you aware that there are people who sleep with others regularly without them dating or even being friends? Like an extended one-night stand! kinda. If both people are comfortable that way, there's no reason to judge them for it
It negates humanity. Are they the act? If not we don't need to know what is being done with the person. " My current friend" is both decent and innocuous. He made her sound like a sperm receptacle. That does not like salt.
Well each to their own in my opinion. As a woman who's been in these types of relationships, I would not have liked the other person to describe me as their "friend." We're not friends. He said "PERSON he's currently sleeping with" imo that's really neutral and exactly how guys I was with and I would talk about each other. Again, if both people are on the same page, what's wrong with it?
I'm not judging anyone. I just feel like I would hope that someone "I was sleeping with" would have enough respect for me and I them, to find a more dignified way to put it. We didn't need to know that particular bit of information here, anyway. Just trying to start something.
My thoughts exactly.đ¤¨
Looks like it worked
I teach cooking classes to formerly homeless folks who just got their own place. One of the first things I teach is that in cooking, a recipe is nothing more than someone saying âI did this and I liked how it turned out.â Love garlic? Go ahead and double the amount! Hate peas? Maybe carrots would be better! No noodles in the house? Letâs serve it over rice and see if that works! If you like how it turned out, write it down for your own ârecipeâ collection!
That's similar to how I cook. I follow the recipe exactly the first time unless I know there's something in there I won't eat, and depending on how it turns out I'll adjust things to how I like it.
I am with you On this, I try to make the it per the recipe first. So I know what to expect and then tweak it the next time.
Exactly. I cook Ramen in either cream of mushroom or tomato soup, makes a nice filling meal. I've added bacon to hamburger helper. My wife taught me to make meatloaf with ketchup, mustard, and crumbled crackers and topped with American cheese (it was phenomenal). Cooking allows you to think outside the box.
I've done all of those kinds of things too. Also been putting a thick layer of cheese in the middle of my meatloaf for 40+ years. I experiment with different types of cheese. My husband's favorite is Velveeta but mine is goat cheese. Oh and soy sauce or Worcestershire sauce mixed in the ketchup or tomato sauce topping. Sometimes wrap it in bacon too. The OP wouldn't want me to cook for them either. Recipes are a jumpstart not gospel. And I don't measure much. 25 yrs in and my husband has never had a complaint and our friends call me all the time asking me to make their favorites of mine if they pay for my time and the ingredients. Which are usually recipes I invented out of desperation with whatever few items of food we had in the house. I'm betting an overwhelming number of good cooks do things the same way. Cooking is an experiment and we don't all have the same taste.....
That meatloaf sounds awful to me, but if you like it that is all that matters. Recipes are meant to be tweaked to your particular taste anyway. Have fun with them and experiment as you see fit.
Some of the best things I've cooked have been what Mr AH would call frankenfood...you use what you have any way you choose.
You ever see those foods like pineapple pizza or bacon sundaes where it's like, "who was the first crazy person to put those together and discover it's good". ^This^...this is how.
Exactly! While baking does require certain ingredients to be in a certain quantity for specific chemical reactions, most cooking does not. Adding additional spices, substituting this spice for that, adding some extra salt, these things are not going to turn your dish into a time bomb. This dude sounds so friggin a**l not quite sure how someone has lived with them for 4 years...
So often published recipes are just flat-out wrong. 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon in a 9" pie? You're not even going to taste that. Caramelized onions in 5 minutes? Yeah, I got a nice bridge in Brooklyn for ya if you believe that's possible.
Thank God! I thought something was wrong with me, I just pour cinnamon and vanilla in things and thought I was crazy cuz I can't taste it until I at least triple most recipes.
Nothing's wrong with you except having the tastebuds of a salt water fish. I bet that pie is good with triple cinnamon tho. Both are meant to be pretty subtle in most baking, i.e. you're not supposed to taste it. Still you like it, I bet it's awesome if nobody gags and says too much keep doing it your way, right?
A common issue with dried herbs and spices is that the ones we have at home are often old and not as potent as they would be if fresher. For example: ground cinnamon or cassias losses it's zip within a year or less; depending on storage and how old it is at purchase. Most people only use a tablespoon or two a year so it goes stale. Buying small abouts from bulk stores is an effective way to ensure freshness. Grinding spices from whole in a coffee grinder or morter and pestle is optimum. Dried herbs are only good for a few months. Storing in the fridge can length self life.
Lol. This is true and not true. I have certain spices that I have used for over 10 years. Yep. When people visit, they often request a favorite dish of mine that they have had. Some of the spices like certain brands of cardamom or nihari Masala are no longer available so I learned to keep my spices. I KNOW the rule is to throw them out, start over and for many, I do but for some I do not. Those who get their requested dish of mine always exclaim they cannot understand why my dish always taste so good..because there are many spices and dried herbs or concoctions that improve with age just like a fine wine, port, or vinegar. I have some spices that have been curing over 30 years. But if people knew some spices get better with age they would buy a lot less. Spices. Not herbs and I am referring to dishes requiring a dried blend not those that require the bright flavors of a fresh herb.
Beware of making alterations to baking recipes unless you've been baking for decades and understand the science behind those recipes, as baking is an exact science and the ratio of ingredients is often instrumental to the success of a recipe. But when you're cooking, let your creativity fly and do whatever alterations you want to make to the dish (but also don't complain about the recipe itself if it turns out to taste awful).
That's sort of true. The core ingredients (flour/oil/baking powder or soda/eggs) often need to be proportioned. However spices don't. They can be changed with the only risk is to the flavor.
Exactly.
My thoughts too.
This is true when it comes to the chemistry of baking but for seasoning, it should be OK to riff. Butter is not a seasoning. Cinnamon is, sugar can and other ingredients can affect the crumb or texture. I am not a baker but like most cooks do end up baking certain things. I find desserts can often be rifled on but breads cannot.
Nah, that's about the chemistry, not some flavour ingredients. And even the chemistry forgives a few changes here and there if you have at least a tiny bit of understanding what what does.
This is very true. You have to have been baking for quite a while to adjust a baking recipe. I made a cherry pie that called for 5 cups of frozen cherries. I only had 3. I knew I had to adjust the cornstarch or it would be too thick so I added half and later added a little more for texture. I was careful about the amount of sugar also. Although pie filling is still more forgiving than a dough or cake.
Throw a couple pinches of baking soda in with those onions and they will caramelize much faster. But not more than a quarter tsp or so or else you will end up with them melting into a puddle of sugary goo.
I'm sorry have you actually seen a recipe call for caramelized onions in 5 minutes? Because that is LITERALLY insane, and I'm having trouble processing that an actual recipe like that exists. It's barely enough time to start to soften the onions
I mostly definitely have seen some that give 20 minutes to caramelize onions, and that's still nowhere near enough time for true caramelization.
The difference is the professional chef has a better oven and pots which makes the process 10x faster also depends on which onion type used
I'm no professional but I do have a few expensive pots and pans. Plus have used both induction and gas stoves and maybe if you mince 1/4 cup of onions you can achieve that
If you add a tiny bit of sugar or salt the process is much faster.
Yep. I also suggested baking soda above is the one I've found works best. Lots of different things to try.
Yup, I've actually seen recipes that claim 5 minutes will caramelize onions. Crazy!!
There are ways to speed up the carmelization process. But they involve affecting the flavor profile too.
More like 20 minutes for amount of onions I use!
This comment has been deleted.
I feel that, cooked corn fritters and it asked for only 1/4 teaspoons of sugar which was definitely not enough
Depends on the corn and your tastes. The cultivar " candy corn" is sooo sweet that adding extra sugar to the batter is debatable.
Yeah, couples cooking together looks so romantic on the TV. in real life, stay the F out of the kitchen whilst I'm preparing food. She has her way of doing things, you have yours, both are fine, just don't try and mix them.
And definitely don't insist your way is the only way and then go crying to random strangers on the internet for validation.
I cook with my wife often. It always is romantic. The difference is that one of us takes the lead(we switch off) and the other assists! Been doing this well over 6 years and its been magical
It's only good if you have space for two people to work at the same time.
And one of you is willing to follow and let the other lead.
I love cooking with someone and miss the comraderie of it. One of the vacuums in my married life was that my husband could not cook, had little interest in trying new foods and did not want to learn about cooking. ( he is deceased now) I come from a family of cooks. We talk about food, recipes, what we ate, where, planning food trips etc anytime we call each other. I once cooked with a guy who prepped my veggies and asked so many questions about the why's of what I was doing..I considered leaving my husband for him. He was talking my language and that joy and immersion from both of us resonated. But he had other qualities that are incompatible so..no. A great partner in the kitchen helps but also stays in their lane. I am only territorial if I am crowded or someone keeps taking my ingredients or utensils/pots/bowls. Etc. Also, don't tell me how to cook. Most don't occasionally some try. I tell them to go sit down.
OMG. My family is the same way. We're all foodies. We talk about what we made, what we ate and where we ate it. I would rather be alone to cook. I don't care if someone preps for me, like dicing veggies, but I'll do the rest. If there are too many people around me, I might get distracted and forget something. It's just so nice to hear of someone who comes from the same type of family.
Pretty wise advice, especially for competitive couples.
I make cooking dinner together my go to for dating as it's a fun way to spend time with people with clothes on and I've never had an issue. Current person I sleep with doesn't like salt, I just cook without salt and season my own stuff to taste.
Cooking with a bit of salt and adding it later are two very, very different things. Salt can add a new dimension to crusts and crumb and can affect how other seasonings marry into a dish. ADDING salt after a dish is prepared will give a very different flavor profile and may also affect texture. The WHEN of adding spices is just as important as what and how much. If you are a foodie, adding salt after the dish is done shortchanged that dish if it is a necessary ingredient. This matters less if you just cook to eat. I have made up my mind (now that I am single again) that I will NOT date or bother with a man who does not appreciate cooking as well as food, does not like to cook or want to learn, does not read books and does not like Christmas. My husband did read ( hard and fast nonstarter for me) and he liked to eat but was indifferent to the process. I wanted to discuss everything about the ingredients, where they came from, etc. Total immersion. I want that and honestly " the person you are sleeping with now? Is she a woman or a thing? Wtf. She is not your gf?
Current person you sleep with? That's a terrible way to say that. There so many other ways to have phrased it, the person I'm dating, my current relationship, hell my friend. I think you just said that looking for some type of reaction.
I agree. Total cook and foodie here but that last line made my skin crawl. She merited a verbal phrase not a noun. Guess he could have said worse.
Are you aware that there are people who sleep with others regularly without them dating or even being friends? Like an extended one-night stand! kinda. If both people are comfortable that way, there's no reason to judge them for it
It negates humanity. Are they the act? If not we don't need to know what is being done with the person. " My current friend" is both decent and innocuous. He made her sound like a sperm receptacle. That does not like salt.
Well each to their own in my opinion. As a woman who's been in these types of relationships, I would not have liked the other person to describe me as their "friend." We're not friends. He said "PERSON he's currently sleeping with" imo that's really neutral and exactly how guys I was with and I would talk about each other. Again, if both people are on the same page, what's wrong with it?
I'm not judging anyone. I just feel like I would hope that someone "I was sleeping with" would have enough respect for me and I them, to find a more dignified way to put it. We didn't need to know that particular bit of information here, anyway. Just trying to start something.
My thoughts exactly.đ¤¨
Looks like it worked