Guy Gets Screenshots Proving Girl He’s Dating Is Using Him For Money, Plans A Revenge Date
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Dating is hard. Especially the beginning. I mean, watching The Notebook together isn’t enough to figure out the other person and whether they have the same expectations for the relationship as you do. These things don’t happen overnight. They take time and effort.
Recently, redditor redberryberry had been spending a fair amount of time with this one girl. She seemed nice and they were still getting to know each other, but it suddenly turned out that she was interested only in his wallet. Of course, it’s better to learn these things sooner rather than later, so you could say redberryberry dodged a bullet before taking any serious damage. However, he still wanted to make her pay for it. After getting back at the sneaky miss, redberryberry shared the story on r/ProRevenge and their post quickly went viral, receiving over 16K upvotes! Continue scrolling and see everything for yourself.
“I liked this girl mainly because she was sarcastic and beautiful, two things I look for a lot in dating,” redberryberry told Bored Panda. “She seemed really interesting and I wanted to get to know her more so that’s when we exchanged numbers and socials.”
Their dates would always be restaurants or places that sold food and stuff like that. “I tried to recommend other things like taking a walk or just coffee or something, but it would always be met with an excuse as to why she couldn’t or she would just say she didn’t feel up to it. But whenever it was a nice place or something she would be more than eager.”
Reflecting on their conversations, the guy thinks most of the trickery was over text. “She would often say she likes me a lot and can’t wait to see me and things like that, but when we were actually together she seemed disinterested and withdrawn,” he explained. “This would make me self conscious, and she would assure me over text (lying) that there was something between us.”
“Even though I could tell she seemed uninterested, I was blinded by lust admittedly and the texts she would send me, so I would always end up seeing her again just to repeat the cycle. Some of it was definitely my fault for being stupid and keep letting her drag me on.”
After all the texts after their date that he walked out on, he sent her the screenshot and everything and how he found out she was using him. He then told her to fuck off. She blocked him and they haven’t talked ever since.
People had a lot to say about the situation
There are a lot of different opinions when it comes to splitting the bill on a date. However, according to Emily Post’s Etiquette, the “official” rule states that, “for a first date at least, the person who asks for the date should pay unless both parties agree in advance to share expenses.”
Candice Jalili, the Senior Sex + Dating Writer at Elite Daily, seconds this. “As far as I’m concerned, the guy should pay for the first date. And if he really wants this to go somewhere, he should pay for the second as well,” she wrote. “After that, I’ll be more open to splitting the bill. But those first couple of dates are the time for me to be courted a little.”
But this line of who asks who gets a little blurry in the modern age of online dating. Or if the people already know each other and at least one of them isn’t sure whether they’re going out on a date or something more casual.
A possible solution to the tricky situation could be “the reach”. Patricia Garcia wrote, “More than half of the staff [at VOGUE] agreed, you should always reach inside your bag once the check arrives—even if you don’t intend to pay.”
“You do the fiddling, the shuffling, and give them enough time to reach for their own wallets to take care of the bill,” one of the magazine’s editors said. “Or else what’s the option? Just sitting there and staring at them, waiting? No, that’s too awkward.”
So the guy provided us with more information
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I know I will have a lot of down votes but why is always expected that men's pay the bills of a date ? Why? Why? Normally I always offer myself to split the cost specially on first dates and if I'm sort this month I explain to the person and if he still want to go, he knows before and don't expect me to pay. You have no idea how much men's appreciate that I'm different from other girls. This way I never left nobody thinking that I'm going on a date because "girl have to eat" and avoid any kind of gold digger test. This make first dates so much easier and we can really focus on knowing each other.
Upvote from me. It all stems from when women didn't have their own money to pay for things. We do now and so should share the costs. Dating is about getting to know one another - not about getting what you can from another person.
L McN - but that isn't genuine dating.
Correction Dilly, Dating SHOULD be about getting to know each other. I knew plenty of women who were in it for the free stuff...and, for a time, I used that for sex. Essentially it was prostitution even if not called that. I have since grown up...in no way will I accept someone who is after money, and in no way will I leverage a date for sex, only as a way to get to know if we want to continue a relationship or not.
Guys who go out with girls for their looks should not be surprised when the girls go out with them for their money. They all deserve each other.
So much this^^^. But this guy does sound really young, talking like $20-$40 plates with premium deserts is an expensive meal. And young people usually have to learn the lessons for themselves.
As the woman , any time we go out i INSIST for the bill to be split cos sometimes people see this as you "owe" them later on and try to use you for it.
I really like the act of paying for someone or someone paying for me. I like it as a gesture. But I agree that men shouldn't be expected to do it, I just prefer to have it to rotate each time we go out instead of always splitting it.
It isn't always expected that men pay the bills of a date. That's a vast over-generalization. It has been traditional that the person who issues the invitation either pay for the meal or provide a meal at home for their guests, but thing's change and dates are a special situation. One way for a couple to get to know each other is to talk about this.
I've dated a few men that felt "emasculated" when I offered.
I tend to agree with Emily Post saying whoever does the asking should also do the paying, at least for the first date and maybe even the second date too. By that time, you should be comfortable enough to admit whether you can afford to treat (or continue to treat) the other person. He asked, and paid. The red flags were her lack of interest in him during the expensive dates, along with her refusal of his offers of dates costing nothing. Also probably explains how she got the expensive clothes and—-not one but two—-Chanel bags. He seems to be a normal person who, like most of the rest of us, just wants to be with someone who wants to be with him (and for himself not his bank account). She seems to be a Luddite who doesn’t realize there are websites specifically designed to match gold diggers and sugar daddies these days.
He wanted to be with a "gorgeous" girl and it sounds like he had nothing to bring to the table. Smiling a lot and complimenting isn't enough. Was he interesting? Did they have anything in common? Does he have engaging hobbies or plans for the future? She made it clear that she didn't enjoy his company enough to do something cheap or free -- so that's the time to realize she's just not that into you. Move on. Make yourself more appealing company. Start looking for girls to date who are not out of your league. (I mean, you're welcome to shoot for the stars, but don't be surprised if you miss nearly every time.)
Keep in mind that there is still a big disparity between what men and women are paid, in addition to the pink tax. Only because of that it makes sense to pay for dates on occasion, but not split every time.
"She was absolutely gorgeous and honestly I couldn't even think that she would be manipulative at all." About sums up most men's idiot response to pretty girls. So many good looking girls treat men badly because they think their looks account for everything and make their manipulative behaviour okay. True beauty is inside, as so many people discover too late.
I was gonna comment on that too. He said he really liked her, even tho she was never engaging on dates or was interested in doing anything that didn’t cost money... but she was absolutely gorgeous. Other than her looks I wonder what about her it was that he really liked?
I picked up on the same thing. She wasn't engaged in the conversation when they went out but yet he was crazy about her because she was gorgeous. He's shadow and refused to see the red flags.
Yes but he's talking about in hindsight, when he taught about things afterwards.
I 100% agree that a person's character is of far more value than a random genetic lottery. On the flipside B, so many men treat good looking girls badly, because they assume that she'll do "anything" if they spend enough money on her first (or worse, that she "owes" them, for spending money on a date with her). ie - there are arseholes in every demographic. "Pretty" doesn't mean "gold-digger". Just as "man" doesn't mean "only willing to go out with pretty girls for orgasms".
Eventually these girls looks fade. They become old with the same crappy personality, but without the looks to distract people from their hidden agenda. I've seen those old women. On their own. No friends. No family. Nothing but their belongings that they've swindled out of a line of suckers. And each one of them miserable.
Hm, I am going to get a lot of hate for this but honestly there were such obvious signs and red flags from the beginning this man described but he just brushed over it because she was gorgeous??? She was quite obvious judging by what he wrote about her, she wasn't even subtle about her intentions. She knew men would handle anything for a girl as long as she is quite beautiful and she was right wan't she? And he reacted and "saw the truth" (which he could see much much before that) when she bruised his little ego over some social media post. If she wasn't gorgeous would he even bother with her from the start? Men can handle anything from girl as long as she is very pretty. My opinion is not popular so downvote me as you want but this is kinda lame. And yes, why not just talk to her from the start, ask her in subtle way about her intentions and why is he paying everything and why isn't relationship moving forward. Talk to her, get to know her as person, not take her out hoping paying for everything why obviously noticing her Channel bag. Is talking to each other dead now? Pulling pranks is ok but just having normal communications is lame? What is wrong with this society?
You're 100% correct, but this guy sounds pretty young, so this is just a lesson learned hopefully. I think it's just as much his fault, because if someone is genuinely interested in you, you'll know it. The same can be said for someone who's not into you, it's usually pretty obvious.
I have to agree. It sounds like she didn't really hide her intentions. Its a hard lesson to learn, but people are often dating to get something other than a relationship, free meal, attention, sex.
I know I will have a lot of down votes but why is always expected that men's pay the bills of a date ? Why? Why? Normally I always offer myself to split the cost specially on first dates and if I'm sort this month I explain to the person and if he still want to go, he knows before and don't expect me to pay. You have no idea how much men's appreciate that I'm different from other girls. This way I never left nobody thinking that I'm going on a date because "girl have to eat" and avoid any kind of gold digger test. This make first dates so much easier and we can really focus on knowing each other.
Upvote from me. It all stems from when women didn't have their own money to pay for things. We do now and so should share the costs. Dating is about getting to know one another - not about getting what you can from another person.
L McN - but that isn't genuine dating.
Correction Dilly, Dating SHOULD be about getting to know each other. I knew plenty of women who were in it for the free stuff...and, for a time, I used that for sex. Essentially it was prostitution even if not called that. I have since grown up...in no way will I accept someone who is after money, and in no way will I leverage a date for sex, only as a way to get to know if we want to continue a relationship or not.
Guys who go out with girls for their looks should not be surprised when the girls go out with them for their money. They all deserve each other.
So much this^^^. But this guy does sound really young, talking like $20-$40 plates with premium deserts is an expensive meal. And young people usually have to learn the lessons for themselves.
As the woman , any time we go out i INSIST for the bill to be split cos sometimes people see this as you "owe" them later on and try to use you for it.
I really like the act of paying for someone or someone paying for me. I like it as a gesture. But I agree that men shouldn't be expected to do it, I just prefer to have it to rotate each time we go out instead of always splitting it.
It isn't always expected that men pay the bills of a date. That's a vast over-generalization. It has been traditional that the person who issues the invitation either pay for the meal or provide a meal at home for their guests, but thing's change and dates are a special situation. One way for a couple to get to know each other is to talk about this.
I've dated a few men that felt "emasculated" when I offered.
I tend to agree with Emily Post saying whoever does the asking should also do the paying, at least for the first date and maybe even the second date too. By that time, you should be comfortable enough to admit whether you can afford to treat (or continue to treat) the other person. He asked, and paid. The red flags were her lack of interest in him during the expensive dates, along with her refusal of his offers of dates costing nothing. Also probably explains how she got the expensive clothes and—-not one but two—-Chanel bags. He seems to be a normal person who, like most of the rest of us, just wants to be with someone who wants to be with him (and for himself not his bank account). She seems to be a Luddite who doesn’t realize there are websites specifically designed to match gold diggers and sugar daddies these days.
He wanted to be with a "gorgeous" girl and it sounds like he had nothing to bring to the table. Smiling a lot and complimenting isn't enough. Was he interesting? Did they have anything in common? Does he have engaging hobbies or plans for the future? She made it clear that she didn't enjoy his company enough to do something cheap or free -- so that's the time to realize she's just not that into you. Move on. Make yourself more appealing company. Start looking for girls to date who are not out of your league. (I mean, you're welcome to shoot for the stars, but don't be surprised if you miss nearly every time.)
Keep in mind that there is still a big disparity between what men and women are paid, in addition to the pink tax. Only because of that it makes sense to pay for dates on occasion, but not split every time.
"She was absolutely gorgeous and honestly I couldn't even think that she would be manipulative at all." About sums up most men's idiot response to pretty girls. So many good looking girls treat men badly because they think their looks account for everything and make their manipulative behaviour okay. True beauty is inside, as so many people discover too late.
I was gonna comment on that too. He said he really liked her, even tho she was never engaging on dates or was interested in doing anything that didn’t cost money... but she was absolutely gorgeous. Other than her looks I wonder what about her it was that he really liked?
I picked up on the same thing. She wasn't engaged in the conversation when they went out but yet he was crazy about her because she was gorgeous. He's shadow and refused to see the red flags.
Yes but he's talking about in hindsight, when he taught about things afterwards.
I 100% agree that a person's character is of far more value than a random genetic lottery. On the flipside B, so many men treat good looking girls badly, because they assume that she'll do "anything" if they spend enough money on her first (or worse, that she "owes" them, for spending money on a date with her). ie - there are arseholes in every demographic. "Pretty" doesn't mean "gold-digger". Just as "man" doesn't mean "only willing to go out with pretty girls for orgasms".
Eventually these girls looks fade. They become old with the same crappy personality, but without the looks to distract people from their hidden agenda. I've seen those old women. On their own. No friends. No family. Nothing but their belongings that they've swindled out of a line of suckers. And each one of them miserable.
Hm, I am going to get a lot of hate for this but honestly there were such obvious signs and red flags from the beginning this man described but he just brushed over it because she was gorgeous??? She was quite obvious judging by what he wrote about her, she wasn't even subtle about her intentions. She knew men would handle anything for a girl as long as she is quite beautiful and she was right wan't she? And he reacted and "saw the truth" (which he could see much much before that) when she bruised his little ego over some social media post. If she wasn't gorgeous would he even bother with her from the start? Men can handle anything from girl as long as she is very pretty. My opinion is not popular so downvote me as you want but this is kinda lame. And yes, why not just talk to her from the start, ask her in subtle way about her intentions and why is he paying everything and why isn't relationship moving forward. Talk to her, get to know her as person, not take her out hoping paying for everything why obviously noticing her Channel bag. Is talking to each other dead now? Pulling pranks is ok but just having normal communications is lame? What is wrong with this society?
You're 100% correct, but this guy sounds pretty young, so this is just a lesson learned hopefully. I think it's just as much his fault, because if someone is genuinely interested in you, you'll know it. The same can be said for someone who's not into you, it's usually pretty obvious.
I have to agree. It sounds like she didn't really hide her intentions. Its a hard lesson to learn, but people are often dating to get something other than a relationship, free meal, attention, sex.