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Michael Kimmel, a sociologist and the author of several books on male identity, including Guyland, Healing from Hate, and Manhood in America, thinks there's really a lot of evidence that many men are suffering.

And many other experts in the field agree, pointing out that men are dropping out of the workforce in greater numbers, their addiction rates are climbing, and they're four times more likely to commit suicide than women.

We, as a society, can't ignore these problems. These are people's lives we're talking about. And it's in everyone's best interest too, because when men can be themselves and be happy, we all benefit from it. To show you just how contagious their smiles and kind actions can be, let's take a look at the Twitter account 'Bros Helping Bros.'

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Jen M
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This happened to my grandmother, she was an army nurse in WWII. After, she worked in hospitals, then schools. But one baby was born, still, they thought. She visited the baby in the morgue, only to notice light signs of life, she resuscitated that baby, and he went home healthy with his family a while later. 20 years after that, sometime in my very young childhood, I remember she was tracked down by that, now grown man, to be thanked, profusely, for being the one person who ensured he survived that day. I always thought out of all her heroics in life, that was the most important moment in her long career saving lives, saving that single baby who everyone else had given up on. My grandma was the best, and I was always proud of her awesomeness!

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Recently, scholars and the media have been suggesting that the Western world is experiencing a masculinity crisis. However, semantics matter and we may have been approaching the matter from a wrong angle.

Michael Salter, who is a Scientia Fellow and an associate professor of criminology at the University of New South Wales at Sydney currently serves on the board of directors for the International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation.

He agrees that masculinity can indeed be destructive. However, Salter believes that both conservative and liberal stances on this issue commonly misunderstand how the term toxic masculinity functions.

"When people use it, they tend to diagnose the problem of masculine aggression and entitlement as a cultural or spiritual illness—something that has infected today’s men and leads them to reproachable acts," Salter wrote. "But toxic masculinity itself is not a cause. Over the past 30 years, as the concept has morphed and changed, it has served more as a barometer for the gender politics of its day—and as an arrow toward the subtler, shifting causes of violence and sexism."

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Lauren S
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow, I hope Rebel gets a medal someday. I never knew Guide Runners existed. Such an amazing idea.

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"Despite the term’s recent popularity among feminists, toxic masculinity did not originate with the women’s movement. It was coined in the mythopoetic men’s movement of the 1980s and ’90s, motivated in part as a reaction to second-wave feminism," Salter said.

"Through male-only workshops, wilderness retreats, and drumming circles, this movement promoted a masculine spirituality to rescue what it referred to as the 'deep masculine'— a protective, 'warrior' masculinity—from toxic masculinity. Men’s aggression and frustration was, according to the movement, the result of a society that feminized boys by denying them the necessary rites and rituals to realize their true selves as men."

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Lauren S
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love that the cop helped him. And I love even more that the boy felt he could approach cops for help.

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Michael Largey
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People capable of moral reflection seldom are made school administrators in the US. And those that are don't stay long..

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Caroline Nagel
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It is so sad that this happens in a so called civilised first world country. The USA government should be ashamed.

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Carole Reid
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Can't afford a school lunch." So much wrong with that statement. So much. Shame.

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Andrea Squires
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They do here in the UK. Free meals to everyone in reception and year one (Maybe also year two) and if you meet requirements, free for the rest of school until you leave involuntary education. Hot meals, too.

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Sian Edwards
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In Wales they're rolling it out (somewhat slowly) to all primary school children. In about 3 years from now, every child in Wales between 4-11 will be entitled to free school meals if they wish.

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Saint Tim the Godless
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I live in Massachusetts. All of our kids get free breakfast and lunch. Because how the hell do you expect a little kid to learn if they can't afford to eat?

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Shannon Mallory
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You're in a blue state. Blue states treat people like people, with worth. Red "party of LIIIIIFE" states are constantly at war with the very notion of social services ("Communism!!") of any kind - look at the recent rush in red states to throw as many poor people as possible off of expanded pandemic-era medicaid. Same politicians that are at war with public education as a concept. You ask "...how the hell do you expect a little kid to learn...." Answer: they dont.

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Julie S
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why do the powers that be in America seem to hate all Americans

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the redqueen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because the powers that be, are only in it for the power, and what that power can do for them, not the country. It's not that they hate all Americans- they just love themselves more.

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Kel_how
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow, that is f*cked up! That administration and school district should be ashamed of themselves. I'm so lucky I work at a school that offers free breakfast and lunch every day. Good on that kid!

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Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ok. I’m 62, roughly around the age of a lot of republican politicians, give or take 10 years, sometimes more. (I’m a Democrat, so don’t get confused). Anyway, the whole way through public school, in the sixties and seventies, the hot lunch made by the lunch ladies in the school cafeteria was 100% free. You only paid extra if you wanted chocolate milk instead of regular milk. You could also buy extra stuff like ice cream bars and snacks, but the hot lunch was free. That means ALL the same old fart republicans who want to abolish free school lunches ALSO got free school lunches themselves! So how about we reframe their BS to bring out the truth? What they’re really saying is, while sticking their tongues out at the rest of us is “So someone else’s taxes paid for ME to have the benefit of free lunch in school back in the day, but I don’t want MY taxes paying for your kids to have the same benefit of free lunch in school now, because I’m a stingy old bast*rd who wants to try and take my wealth with me when I die so no one else can have it”.

elmforms avatar
Elaine Morinelli
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How do you not feed kids? In California two meals a day are provided free to each kid, no questions asked. It's just ridiculous to charge kids for lunch.

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Fish Fingers
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Anyone else wondering what happened next? I'm assuming he was immediately suspended and threatened with legal action if he continued 🙄

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Granfaloon
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Idaho just denied $14 million in federal aid for free lunches for poor kids and I hate my state and my country.

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Deb Smith
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was one of four daughters of our grammar school's custodian/janitor. We were poor and qualified for the free school lunch, which most teachers made us come up to their desk to collect the prepaid tickets every day and the rest of the class would know we were the poor ones. One wonderful teacher in the 6h grade, would wait until we lined up for lunch and then he'd quietly slip my week's worth of tickets into my hand. (Thank you Mr. Johnson, for giving me a little dignity.) More often than not, we would go to school hungry and that school lunch was the only thing we would have all day. If Mom wasn't having a mental episode, we might get some kind of dinner a few days out of the week. During the summer, we starved. Wild berries and cherries, grass, leaves, some viney plant that tasted like spinach. A lily/orchid, not sure, tasted bitter, I didn't try that again. Going to bed hungry was a common thing. I hated it. Bless this boy for providing for others, there aren't enough like him.

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William Mclaurin
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Eating at break, in a place you are forced to be, by people with plenty of money ( guvment), for 8 to 10 hours a day, five days a week, should be free weather you're rich or poor. Even prisoners eat for free.

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Evil
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Free lunch and breakfast for EVERY student in MICHIGAN

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Diplodocus Dinosaur
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

One of the reasons we pay such high taxes in Sweden. Free lunches for school children, free medical and dental care for children under 18, subsidized costs for kindergarten, hospital care, surgery, aid for the disabled etc.

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sharyn turnicky
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why didn't the administrators see that ALL children in their district get lunch? Were they too busy banning books from Library?

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Christel Nellemann
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This speaks tons of the richest country in the world, who also does not think , it is a human right not to starve. 😢

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Nikki Sevven
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This isn't heartwarming; it's horrifying. No child should ever be hungry because they "can't afford" food.

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Kim Lorton
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is when that flipping administrator should’ve taken up the cause and helped every kid get a free meal at school!!

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Lyone Fein
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Doesn't that school have a free lunch program? Wtf? Even the tiny village I grew up in had free lunch over 40 years ago when I was in school!

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Ronnie Beaton
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I was a kid, back in the mid 70s, *every* schoolchild in Scotland got a free pint of milk to drink during their break. Of course, once Maggie Thatcher became Prime Minister she put a stop to it. "Thatcher the Milk Snatcher" she was known as.

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Mairlady
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

With what is going on in the world today, we need more hero’s!

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Gg
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Went to public school in the US. Our school always had free lunch. If you didn't have/forgot money or food they'd make you a sandwich. They still do this. I still remember in first grade a girl didn't like the lunch option so they made her a sandwich too.

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George Denniston
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is a huge life lesson! Most of the time, we just do not have all the facts. That is why, if we have good sense, we simply do not judge!

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Kilo Jones
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe they were too high to make lunch. I'm high right now, and just to provide context (uncommon in the thicket), I'm uncertain whose lunch I just ate-- which i'd rate: meh.

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Isaac Harvey
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why is it that stories of individuals stepping in in place of large institutions are considered ‘feel-good’ stories? If they were included in a book, they would be called dystopian.

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Nadine Bamberger
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Always expecting the worst of the children in your care, way to go, must make them feel real safe.

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Ivy la Sangrienta
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This sounds insane. My country has provided everyone a free hot lunch at school since 1948.

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Rebecca Gunder
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

One would hope admin would have already known about THEIR students who could not afford lunch and eliminated the problem before students learned about it. How sad.

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Kiri
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm in high school and the lunches at our school cost $3.50 a day

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M.
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sweet the kid did this, but it shouldn't be necessary. Make school lunches free.

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Randomcthulu
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't know what school that kid went to, but there's always been a free lunch program for those who need it where I grew up, was mandated by law

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Paul Brown
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Its pathetic that in this day and age that kids would go hungry in school.

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Clarissa
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Welcome to America! Colorado just passed a motion for free lunches for all in any school district that signs up. Yay. I'm curious how many districts won't sign up.

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Vanessa
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm in Los Angeles and all the schools I know of here and have gone to have subsidized lunch. Based on the families I come they get free or drastically reduced lunch. As long as they fill out the form in the enrollment packet then they'll be given free food every day. We also have programs where the school packs lunches over the summer for the families to get since some may not be able to afford to eat without their free school lunch

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Vanessa
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is coming from someone who got free lunch. I think at one point I had to pay 10 cents for it when our household income went up

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Zdena
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1 year ago

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Stop this nonsense articles about kids in the USA not having lunches. I am from Europe and even the poorer families can afford food. If the parents are drug users and do not care about their kids, the social system steps in. These articles are just propaganda for stupid people. don´t believe it.

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Salter explained that this claim of a singular, real masculinity has been roundly rejected since the late 1980s by a new sociology of masculinity.

"Led by the sociologist Raewyn Connell, this school of thought presents gender as the product of relations and behaviors, rather than as a fixed set of identities and attributes."

"Connell’s work describes multiple masculinities shaped by class, race, culture, sexuality, and other factors, often in competition with one another as to which can claim to be more authentic. In this view, which is now the prevailing social-scientific understanding of masculinity, the standards by which a 'real man' is defined can vary dramatically across time and place," he explained.

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Sue Lynn Chan
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1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have fix my broken relationship with my father. He may have a few flaws, yet he always there for me when I needed

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Cyber Returns
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

His niece will worship him forever and on that day when they have to stand up in class and tell the room who is their hero, you know who she is going to name

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Full of Giggles
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I was 24, I was homeless in a city with a high sexual assault rate. I would go to the library every few days and look for real estate listings for vacant houses in the area with fenced in yards. I would then sleep in one of the yards to hide myself from the crazies. I never went into the home or used the utilities. I kept to the yard and patio. Unbeknownst to me, a police officer had followed me a few times and saw me climbing over a fence. He stopped me one night as I was about to make my climb. Instead of arresting me, he took me to his home and gave me a safe place to sleep. He and his husband also sold me a 15 passenger van for $1000 and helped me convert it into a camper van. I lived in that van for three years and loved it. I still have it 15 years later.

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Connell and others theorized that common masculine ideals such as social respect, physical strength, and sexual potency become problematic when they promote unattainable standards, since falling short can make boys and men insecure and anxious, which might prompt them to use force in order to feel, and be seen as, dominant and in control.

"Male violence in this scenario doesn’t emanate from something bad or toxic that has crept into the nature of masculinity itself. Rather, it comes from these men’s social and political settings, the particularities of which set them up for inner conflicts over social expectations and male entitlement," Salter continued.

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Pie
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Reminds me of "Never make fun of someone mispronouncing a word, it means they learned it by reading.:

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Lauren S
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is a great drawing for 1st grade and such a sweet thoughtful thing of dad to do. I think any parent would keep it but brining it out for this occasion was simply gold.

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By the mid-2000s, despite Connell’s objections, her theories were being portrayed in ways that echoed mythopoetic archetypes of healthy and destructive masculinity.

In a 2005 study of men in prison, the psychiatrist Terry Kupers defined toxic masculinity as “the constellation of socially regressive male traits that serve to foster domination, the devaluation of women, homophobia, and wanton violence.”

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ShriSha Kamboj
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i love this initiative but i also know that some entitled people will misuse this

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Referencing Connell’s work, Kupers stated that prison brings out the “toxic” aspects of masculinity in prisoners, but that this toxicity is already present in the wider cultural context.

Since then, the return to toxic masculinity has leaked from academic literature to wide cultural circulation, and the reason is understandable. It offers a simple diagnosis for gendered violence and masculine failure.

"New proponents of the concept, sometimes unaware of its origins, tend to agree that men and boys are affected by a social 'sickness' and that the cure is cultural renewal—that is, men and boys need to change their values and attitudes," Salter wrote.

Yes, research consistently shows that boys and men who hold sexist attitudes are more likely to perpetrate gendered violence. But where do these sexist attitudes come from? 

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Are men and boys just the victims of cultural brainwashing into misogyny and aggression, requiring reeducation into the 'right' beliefs? Or are these problems rooted more deeply, and created by the myriad insecurities and contradictions of men’s lives under gender inequality?

"The concept of toxic masculinity encourages an assumption that the causes of male violence and other social problems are the same everywhere, and therefore, that the solutions are the same as well," Salter said.

But material realities matter. "In one Australian Aboriginal violence-prevention program that I evaluated with colleagues, Aboriginal educators worked in partnership with men and boys to identify the key drivers of gendered violence and inequality. Solutions were rooted in cultural pride, tailored to local contexts, and underpinned by recognition of the intergenerational impacts of racism and trauma," Salter said. "The program understood that masculinity itself isn’t toxic, and instead sought to understand and change the roots of toxic gendered behavior."

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michael Chock
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's all about keeping people desperate enough to do anything for money. Keeps our attention away from the takers doing this to us.

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Tiramisu
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There’s a LOT that is wrong and uncertain in Pakistan right now. But this… this gives me pride and hope for our future. Pakistan Zindabad 🇵🇰

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SheamusFanFrom1987
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, this is proof that the little boys in grown men never fade away, they just make way for the responsible fella sharing the body to do his thing when needed. However, when the opportunity arises, WEEEEEEEE....!!! :-)

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Katie Lutesinger
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's a cafe in my area where if you bring your dog they give you a free dog biscuit. So I took my dog there on his birthday and told the waitress "and a biscuit for him because it's his birthday!" Imagine my surprise when my food came with, not a dog biscuit, but a big shortbread cookie plus a takeaway container full of water. It was only later that I realised what had happened: I'd gone to the wrong bloody cafe, but they'd improvised with a free biscuit anyway, just because it was my dog's birthday. :D

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ThatCapybara
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh, to have siblings like this.... my brother: SHE DID I SAW HER DOES THIS MEAN I HAVE EXTRA TIME ON THE COMPUTER IS SHE GROUNDED MUUUUM

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