ADVERTISEMENT

How many times have you found yourself saying, "I was today years old," and then immediately having to sit down and process the implications? Because there is a deep humiliation that comes with discovering something that was apparently common knowledge to everyone except you. It is a shame that isn't easy to shake.

Whether you just mispronounced something or didn't actually know how babies are made, the cringe factor is equal. These people were brave enough to share their shame, and the results are both hilarious and profoundly comforting. Because nothing in this world is quite as reassuring as realizing that everyone is quietly walking around not knowing something they absolutely should.

RELATED:

    One of the most confidently repeated pieces of trivia in human history is also completely made up. The idea that humans use only 10% of their brains has been cited in classrooms, on motivational posters, and in at least one film starring Scarlett Johansson, and it is entirely false. But reading some of these confessions will make you wonder...

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Brain imaging technology shows that virtually all areas of the brain are active at some point throughout the day. Millions of people spent decades believing they had ninety percent of untapped mental potential sitting dormant. They did not. We are using all of it. This is as good as it gets.

    #4

    Humorous late realization about penguin size at the zoo

    J. Report

    g90814
    Community Member
    8 minutes ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think there was a prehistoric species of Penguin that were human sized.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    A survey of 2,000 Americans over 65 found that 36% wish they had known earlier in life what they know now about love, finances, and health – and that same percentage believes they would have made genuinely different decisions if they had. When asked which decade they would most like to relive, the majority chose their 30s, with their 20s coming in second.

    This makes you think, because most people in their 20s and 30s are convinced they are doing everything wrong. The seniors, looking back at those decades, remember them as the best years of their lives. Time, as always, has impeccable comedic timing.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    In 1999, Australian director Baz Luhrmann released a spoken word track called Everybody's Free To Wear Sunscreen, built around a fictional commencement speech written by columnist Mary Schmich. It is essentially a list of life advice set to music, and it contains more genuinely useful information per minute than most formal educations manage across years.

    Wear sunscreen. Do not worry about the future. Keep your old love letters. Stretch. The song was a global hit and is still shared at graduations decades later, because it turns out the things people learn too late are remarkably consistent across generations. Mary Schmich figured them all out in a newspaper column in 1997. Most of us are still catching up.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    The idea that blood turns blue without oxygen is one of those facts that lodged itself into an entire generation's brain during a school science lesson and has never been questioned since. It is also completely wrong. Human blood is always red.

    Deoxygenated blood is simply a darker, deeper shade of red rather than the bright crimson of oxygenated blood. The veins visible through the skin appear blue because of the way different wavelengths of light penetrate and reflect through tissue, not because of anything happening inside the blood itself. Nobody's blood has ever been blue. It was never blue. We were all just sitting there nodding.

    The most expensive lesson in business history was learned by a Blockbuster executive who sat across the table from Reed Hastings in the year 2000, listened to a pitch to acquire a small DVD rental company called Netflix for $50 million, and said no.

    Blockbuster filed for bankruptcy in 2010. Netflix is currently valued at over $200 billion. The executive who passed on that meeting has never been publicly named, which is either a mercy or a missed opportunity for the greatest "I told you so" in corporate history. But one thing is for sure, he probably wished he had known a little earlier what the power of the internet would bring us.

    Never miss a story that brings joy to the world. Follow on Google News

    #16

    Funny late realization about tinnitus and hearing ringing sounds

    adnanoid Report

    That’s all I yam
    Community Member
    Premium
    34 minutes ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have ADD and very much enjoy low volume background noise (coffee shop, radio, TV, etc.) I also have tinnitus and consider it a gift. I especially enjoy it when I drift off to sleep. If I didn't appreciate auditory stimulus, I can see how it would be a huge problem.

    #17

    Realization that pickles are made from cucumbers

    kaffeen_ Report

    g90814
    Community Member
    6 minutes ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think when I was younger I thought that eating cucumbers were different from pickling cucumbers. Like you planted seeds for each.

    View more comments

    In 2013, Welsh IT engineer James Howells threw away a hard drive during a home clear-out. On that hard drive were 8,000 Bitcoin. By the time he realized what he had done, the drive was buried somewhere in a Newport landfill under thousands of tons of waste. What followed was a twelve-year saga of repeated attempts to convince the local council to allow him to excavate the site.

    He made offers to share the recovered fortune, was involved in legal battles, and had a mounting pile of bills that would make anyone sit quietly in a dark room. The council said no every time. He has now given up entirely. He is probably still telling himself: "I was today years old when I learned not to throw things away without checking twice."

    #21

    Funny late realization about Christ not being Jesus last name

    KristianKing102 Report

    Sam Trudeau
    Community Member
    1 hour ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Apparently it's because at some point, last names became a thing and people treated it as that. At the time of Jesus, it was Jesus of Nazareth

    View more comments

    We all have one common enemy: Worcestershire. So let's once and for all learn how to order a Bloody Mary without making a fool of ourselves. The correct pronunciation is, and has always been, Woos-ter-sheer. Not Wor-chest-er-shire. Not War-sester-sauce. Not the creative phonetic interpretations that people have been inventing for decades.

    The English language created this word, buried the pronunciation inside it like a trap, and then watched the world struggle for centuries. Worcestershire did not have to do us like this. And yet.

    #23

    Late discovery that whole milk contains only 3 percent fat

    willk95 Report

    g90814
    Community Member
    1 minute ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    yup it varies due to breed and diet, but its 3 - 4.5% I think. So 2% isn't really removing that much fat.

    The beautiful thing about everything on this list is that none of it is actually too late. Yes, you spent 30 years mispronouncing a condiment. Yes, you probably only did use 10% of your brain most of the time. But you know now. That is the whole point.

    The things we learn late are the ones that stick hardest, retell best, and connect us most instantly to other people who are also quietly walking around with their own version of the same story. You were today years old. Better today than never.

    Are you brave enough to tell us what you learned way too late? Share it in the comments!

    #26

    Hilariously late realization about swallowing watermelon seeds growing watermelon

    Apostle_Kjna Report

    Captive
    Community Member
    54 minutes ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My father used to tell us boys if we swallowed the seeds they'd be stuck on our peepee

    #27

    Realization you don't have to take all bananas at grocery store

    ashleyjameswilliams Report

    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    44 minutes ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The cashier will ring them up by the pound by putting them on a scale.

    View more comments
    #29

    Late realization that white and dark meat come from same chicken

    SmedleySays Report

    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    42 minutes ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Steely Dan was not a person, but there were people who were glad to see him because he was certainly glad to see them.

    #32

    Misconception about eye crust being sand debunked

    anomsecrects Report

    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    40 minutes ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But what about that Christmas classic - 🎶🎵 "Crusty the Sandman / ..." 🎵🎶?

    #34

    Thunder not caused by clouds bumping into each other

    Living_Debate599 Report

    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    39 minutes ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They don't bump into each other because they use lightening as their brake lights and turn signals.

    #35

    Late realization about horseshoes and horse toes

    BronNatsPulisic Report

    Deborah
    Community Member
    54 minutes ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The horse's hoof is the evolutionary development of the toes. The middle toe, to be specific. The side toes evolved to the splint bones, and some of the toes completely vanished. Horses have been around in one form or another for about 60 million years, so this took time.

    #38

    Realization that flowers in vases drink water, not just evaporate

    dee Report

    That’s all I yam
    Community Member
    Premium
    26 minutes ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wouldn't consider the thought that they like being in water completely wrong : - )

    #39

    Misconception that black and white photos meant the world was black and white

    seoulssessions Report

    g90814
    Community Member
    1 minute ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Like watching the 1939 version of Wizard of OZ, when Dorothy first opened the door in OZ.

    View more comments
    #41

    Late realization about flirting signals and college attractiveness

    MisterPantsss Report

    Yeah, you heard
    Community Member
    39 minutes ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't get this one. Is it a joke?

    #42

    Funny late realization about teachers living at school

    Zin_773 Report

    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    36 minutes ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    An exaggeration, but not a complete falsehood.

    #45

    Late realization of the phrase birds and the bees explaining reproduction

    anonymous Report

    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    33 minutes ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The way birds and bees reproduce really doesn't resemble how humans do. Some sorts of mammals would have been better choices.

    #47

    Hilariously late realization about sports teams drafting and misunderstanding the process

    Asone2004 Report

    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    31 minutes ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The ?GI Bill will help you get an education. Playing sports in college tends to hamper it.

    #50

    Late realization on correct pronunciation of fatigue

    jenny8420 Report

    Otto Katz
    Community Member
    8 minutes ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Fra-gee-lay. It must be Italian"

    #51

    Surprise that elderberries are real and not fictional

    Wheezy_Cheezy_dawg Report

    Sam Trudeau
    Community Member
    1 hour ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!

    #52

    GOAT meaning greatest of all time discovered late

    unknown Report

    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    30 minutes ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sometimes you are the goat. Other times you're made it.

    #59

    Discovering you don't have to stand in shower while water warms

    MagicPieBush Report

    Sarah Bailey
    Community Member
    42 minutes ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oooohhh no thank you, that's an a*****t on my senses!