50 Of The Most Brilliant Comebacks Ever Screenshotted, As Shared On The ‘Clever Comebacks’ Page (New Pics)
There are very few things in life that feel better than one-upping someone. Not too many of us will admit it, but it feels absolutely amazing when you prove someone wrong, show everyone you're right, and demolish others with well-placed witty comebacks. The best roasts end up on the 'Clever Comebacks' subreddit, a community of nearly 754k members, eagerly combing the corners of the internet for humorous, witty, and razor-sharp comebacks.
When it comes to being witty, there are two general approaches. The first one is firing off an instant quip, taking advantage of the perfect timing. It's a skill that you can develop over time. The second approach is taking a bit more time and carefully honing the perfect response for each situation. That's much easier done on the internet than in real life, but it's also something we can all do, no matter our current skill in cleverly taking others down a peg or two.
London-based British musical stand-up comedian, author, and comedy writer Ariane Sherine highlighted to Bored Panda in a follow-up interview what's most important when it comes to a clever comeback. "I think the most important thing with comebacks is speed. Even if the joke isn't a total zinger, people will be impressed by your quickfire response," she said. Read on for her other insights about how we can all up our comedy game.
You'll find Bored Panda's earlier post about r/clevercomebacks right over here. Be sure to give it a read once you're done enjoying this list and upvoting the comebacks and epic burns that you personally feel deserve calling the fire brigade over.
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Just Try Not Being Straight For Awhile
You Can Still Breathe Idiot
Also, the subject of double masking among people outside healthcare wouldn’t even have come up if Trumpy boy hadn’t been all “RAMPANTLY SPREADING COVID IN THE COMMUNITY IS FREEEEEEEEEEDUMB!!!1!” Signed, Our prime minister doesn’t like covid
It's Already Happening
Ariane told us that most stand-up comics have a "repertoire of comebacks" that they often share with others in their profession when it comes to tackling hecklers at shows. "We're not all as fast and talented as it seems! But if we're doing stand-up, our own routines will be original—it's just heckle putdowns that might not be," she said.
Hypocritical, Hyperbolic, And Hyper Stupid
Room Temperature Iq
Someone from the US talking about rights is quite ironic in my opinion. Although I don’t see anywhere that suggests Gary is from the US.
Exodus 20:7
Comedian Ariane also opened up about an "awful stand-up show" that left her incredibly embarrassed. However humiliating the situation was, it was also an example of razor-like wit in action. "I started a joke by saying 'I'm single at the moment...' and a guy in the audience yelled, 'I'll shag you!' So I called his bluff and said, 'Come on up here then' and he shot back, 'Nah, I've taken a closer look and I don't fancy you!' Really humiliating and not much fun at all, but possibly quite amusing for the audience."
I Hope This Hasn’t Been Done Before
Ok, cool answer for that MF. BUT MUFASA!!! 😭😭😭😭😭 THIS WAS THE DAY MY CHILDHOOD ENDED!!!
I Hate Anti-Maskers
Ariane added that you gain emotional resilience as a comedian by becoming more experienced and practised at the comebacks. "You don't want to give them the chance to reject you, as I did previously— you've got to get in there first with a funny insult!"
Simple, Yet Effective
What a stupid tautology of a statement ffs. PSA: Feminism isn't attacking men for being men. It's equal right. So tiring to see this nonsense
Illegal Plants
Philip Brought A Tank In A Knife Fight
For those of us who have some trouble firing off clever retors, Ariane said that we can always take inspiration from comedians if things don't come naturally to us. "As I say, heckle putdowns are generally shared among comics so there's no code of honour when it comes to using them (but you mustn't nick original stand-up material!)" she said.
I Should Be Allowed To Pick The Oil Company I Die And Kill For!
Can Anyone Show Martha The Original Constitution ?
Looking For Approval In All The Wrong Places
What did they think they were proving? That JB isn't tyrant-y enough?
Earlier, I spoke to comedian Ariane about wit, comebacks, and comedic timing. The professional comedian explained to Bored Panda that when it comes to witty comebacks, they can be spontaneous as well as planned out.
Common Sense Is Really Rare These Days
Whatttt !?? No Vegan Options At KFC!???
As an amateur astronomer, I found this very informative. I will avoid World of Carpets. Thanks for the heads up
Oh, I've taken up an interest for astronomy as well, I heard that they have some great telescopes in Fred Meyer's, just for future reference.
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As a vegan myself I can definitively say KFC does have vegan fries and corn, which is more than a lot of places. And they tested Beyond Meat and will expand it to the menu soon. Can’t wait!
Discriminated against my ass. I’m vegetarian, I would be thrilled if the whole world was vegetarian, but I’m not walking into a BBQ joint and whining that there aren’t tofu ribs for me.
Ok but KFC literally stands for "Kentucky fried chicken"!What did she think was gonna happen
Yes, exactly, (thanks?) that is why that response was made.
Load More Replies... But, if she's vegan, why even visit that establishment at all? If anything, she should boycott it
Reminds me of the people who proudly don't tip, because servers should be paid a living wage, instead of boycotting places with tipped servers. They'd be more believable if they actually stood for their beliefs
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...KFC stands for Kentucky Fried Chicken not Kentucky fried chickpeas
Actually their coleslaw and biscuits aren’t vegan but their fries and corn and green beans are. I still swing by for fries sometimes there.
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I'm a vegan. I understand her desire to be given meatless options at restaurants, but... It's f*****g KFC. It's not a proper restaurant and I wouldn't eat there even if I was still eating animals. Expecting this option at KFC is a bit much. This is a slow process and we are making progress, but KFC was never going to be on the front of issues like this. However, McDonalds has apparently made deals with Impossible Foods to offer vegan burger patties, so even the fast-food companies are seeing that vegans are a valid market. See? Progress!
If one (or more) of my friends are vegan, vegetarian, we decide in front what restaurant to visit. If I opt to go to a steakhouse, they are obviously declining before setting food in said restaurant. Because that's why we communicate!!!
Like that time that I asked the Apple store if they had any granny Smith apples in stock and he awkwardly snickered while looking at me like I'm a weirdo. You wouldn't believe this guys....... They didn't have a single Apple. False advertising
Biscuits, Coleslaw, Mash Potatoes, French Fries, Mac and Cheese. Take your pick.
I think vegans will not eat anything that is not solely plant based. Biscuits, coleslaw, mash potatoes and definitely mac and cheese contain either cream or milk so they won't eat it.
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SHe's vegan. Coleslaw has Mayo, which has eggs. In U.S, biscuits (not cookies) are made with buttermilk
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Imagine going to some fried chicken place for a bowl of salad without meat
I'm annoyed, because I went to dairy queen yesterday, and they had NO Oxi-Clean at all.
Alright, here's a little strategy I use... it's called, and stick with me, reading. Now, I gotta go get my new parachuting equipment from the Burger King down the road.
I don't get why Gemma was down voted, I know that they sell meat, but still it would be nice
Well, I'm vegetarian and I have never gone somewhere where I couldn't find something to eat.
Actually in the UK there have been vegan option for a while...
"Went to IKEA...." .... OK, fair enough, that might be the one place you could get vegan chicken and a carpet... (Joke!)
Replying to Gemmas comment... yes, meat-free options do make that easier, but it’s KFC. Kentucky Fried CHICKEN?
KFC has a meat free option. It's called KFC’s New Zero Chicken Burger. I think it is in some Asian countries for now but still.. https://thespoon.tech/kfc-launches-plant-based-zero-chicken-burger-in-locations-across-singapore/
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There are many other restaurants where everyone can find something to eat... but not KFC, of course. If you are a vegan, your friends will not take you there, they will choose another place (unless they are assholes).
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Damn... Guess My Opinion Is Invalid
A lot depends on the person thinking up the comeback as well as the particular situation they're in. After all, we've all had moments when we fire off a joke that's 10/10 without knowing how it came to us. We've also been in situations where we're in the shower washing our hair, and we suddenly come up with the ideal comeback to something someone said a week ago. Alas! Usually, it's too late to deploy that perfect comeback because it's far, far too late.
She's Baaaad
Maybe I Am Karen?
Bill Burr Everybody
"I've definitely come up with comebacks that are spontaneous," Ariane shared. For instance, I told my daughter that if she didn't behave, I'd give her inheritance to a donkey sanctuary. She said, 'You wouldn't', and I came back, 'You bet your ass!' But though I hadn't used that comeback before, I clearly had knowledge of the pun and might have used something similar in the past."
He's Not Wrong
Look Before You Leap
Vandalized Pineapple
As for finding the line between a regular comeback and one that makes you laugh out loud, according to comedian Ariane, it's clear for everyone to see when the comeback's good and when it falls flat on its face. "It needs to be very fast, well-timed, and take people by surprise as well as being clever, witty, and immediately understandable." When you break it down like that, the art of the comeback becomes even more daunting than it was before.
Fortunately, our subconscious mind kicks in and takes over from us when we least expect it. (It could do that more often because it's bloody brilliant when it takes charge.) "But that's relatively rare in my experience. I'm sure many other comics are more natural than I am!" Ariane shared that it doesn't happen nearly as often as we'd like.
When You Get Shot Down By Facts
That’s My Gender
Who’ll Email You When You Block Him More Like This
Founded back in 2018, the 'Clever Comebacks' subreddit celebrated its third birthday back in January. Since then, it's amassed a huge following that keeps on growing. Since our last post about the community in December 2020, the number of members has grown from 679k to almost 754k.
Not everyone has the nuanced point of view that witty comebacks can be either impulsive or planned out. According to Rhea Wessel writing for the BBC, witty comebacks can only be made in the moment and timing is vital. Without it, there's no wit and no comeback worth remembering.
They Lack Opposable Thumbs
What's with the antivaxxers thinking they are lions, I've seen a few of this. Poor lions, we musn't tar them with such a dumbass brush
Other People’s Kids Is A Surprisingly Great Form Of Birth Control
This Is Not Your Business There Is A Something To Consider, You And Your Boss Do Illegal Things Every Day
While we all secretly enjoy a spot of dark humor here and there, there's an advantage to choosing to go for more positive comebacks instead of negative ones. "Often the best retorts are comebacks that are witty, take the higher moral ground, are appropriate and most importantly, positive," Rhea writes on BBC Worklife.
Choosing positive comebacks over negative ones is especially important in a work setting which can affect the atmosphere and how employees feel about their jobs. "Positive comments are a far better tool for keeping projects on track while showing your love of linguistic acrobatics. Others will find the humor in them and you may see negative interactions quickly cease," Rhea explains.
The Founders Would Say "The F**k Is An Ohio?"
Asking For A Friend
Totally True
Well, It Had To Be Something Productive, Right?
Now That Is Some Comeback!
That's actually a cute way to turn a self depreciating put down type of thing into a sweet potential date or friend :)
"Id Like To Live"
“How Many Gold Medals Do You Have?”
Found On Fb... Personally I Found The Response To Be Quite A Zinger
Colorado Didn't Send Their Best Or Brightest
Do Some Research Before Spouting Nonsense
I Would Prefer "Beeeeees Run Run"
Fascists Calling Others Fascists
And a slew of chumpanzee twits who grew up on legitimate press suddenly believe in a fraudster like trump. Insane
Savage Comeback
I will add another, largely denies women’s rights for example domestic violence, sexual assault etc.
I Am More Better Than Everyone
Kaepernick Has Entered The Chat
Hey Girl, Are You Piñata ?
Vaccinated Politician Tries To Call Out Elitism
Note: this post originally had 95 images. It’s been shortened to the top 50 images based on user votes.
To deny science is to hinder science. Please respond to the Anti-vaxers with straight forward logic and scientific based information.
Every. Day. And they still refuse. I understand intellectually that their fear drives their denial, but I'd still like to drag each one into an autopsy of a Covid victim an dshow them what this does to *otherwise healthy people*...
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They have one! Here: https://www.boredpanda.com/anti-vaxxer-vaccination-funny-comebacks/?utm_source=bing&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic
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To deny science is literally a punch to the face for some people who died because they didn’t have the technology we have today.
Jonas Grinevicius stop being so good with your articles.😜 You're really on fire. Very very well done.
I wanted to write "BURN!!!!" in just about every comment section - so I'll write it here.
Hey whoever manages the caption writer needs to have a conversation about that disgusting "ass and jiggle" caption
To deny science is to hinder science. Please respond to the Anti-vaxers with straight forward logic and scientific based information.
Every. Day. And they still refuse. I understand intellectually that their fear drives their denial, but I'd still like to drag each one into an autopsy of a Covid victim an dshow them what this does to *otherwise healthy people*...
Load More Replies... They have one! Here: https://www.boredpanda.com/anti-vaxxer-vaccination-funny-comebacks/?utm_source=bing&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic
Load More Replies... To deny science is literally a punch to the face for some people who died because they didn’t have the technology we have today.
Jonas Grinevicius stop being so good with your articles.😜 You're really on fire. Very very well done.
I wanted to write "BURN!!!!" in just about every comment section - so I'll write it here.
Hey whoever manages the caption writer needs to have a conversation about that disgusting "ass and jiggle" caption
