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Humor is one tough nut to crack. Sometimes it’s bland, other times it’s too in your face, occasionally it can even offend someone, leaving a bad aftertaste and ruined image. At the same time, there are many fans of dark humor who like puns with not just a pinch of salt but a bag of Carolina reapers. Others are clever joke aficionados that adore trivia-meets-comedy type of fun. And dad jokes are just a whole other category.
But what if you feel like you don’t fit into any of these categories? Well, this entertaining subreddit may have exactly what you need. Titled “Clean Jokes,” it’s described as a community for “for those of you who are either easily offended or just like clean jokes.” Created back in 2012, the subreddit is home to 130k members, so it’s obvious there’s a demand for content like that.
Below we selected some of the funniest offense-proof jokes for everyone to chuckle at, so be sure to upvote your favorite ones as you go!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Iron Man is technically a FEmale.
I will down vote myself on the way out....
Richard A Petro 3 years ago
Dang, I LOVE jokes that make people stop and think! Too often such comments just get periodically tabled, if you get my drift.
Gia Burner 3 years ago
Wait so if he ever has to order replacement suit parts online, would getting them shipped to him be FEmail🤣🤣🤣
Emma Schwertner 3 years ago
iron man/tony stark is not my favorite mcu character but this is amazing
When asked if there’s always an offensive element to telling jokes, Sophie Scott, the British neuroscientist and Wellcome Trust Senior Fellow at University College London, told Bored Panda that this is indeed the case. Her research investigates the cognitive neuroscience of voices, speech and laughter, particularly speech perception, speech production, vocal emotions, and human communication.
“There are no jokes that are guaranteed to be funny for everyone. And there may be a reference in there that someone finds personally offensive, like the basis for this very old Onion,” the professor explained.
RELATED:
#2
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."
The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"
HarriMissesScotland 3 years ago
My nephew had hearing aids when he was very young and he would turn them off if he didn't want to listen to his mom. Had surgery, no more hearing aids. But now he needs them again almost 24 years later because he has a degenerative disease. He is also mentally delayed and is thrilled to be able to hear more clearly, but can't wait to be able to turn them off when he wants. He wasn't happy when we explained that he won't be able to. He really wanted to be able to ignore us.
WhyAmIHere 3 years ago
Now I wanna be hard of hearing just to hear what kids at school think of me.
#3
A dog sees a "Now hiring" poster outside of a computer store. The poster reads: "Must be able to type. Must be able to program. And must be bilingual. We are an equal opportunity employer." The dog takes the poster in his mouth, and walks in. The manager spots the dog, and decides to humour it, pulling up a chair and a computer with a word processor. "Alright, if you want to work here, you need to first write a letter," and leaves the room. 30 minutes later, he comes back in, and the dog has typed out a completely error-free letter. "Well, I'll be. This is a smart dog. But can he program?" he asks himself. 20 minutes pass, and the dog has made a perfectly running website for the store. He looks, shocked, at the dog, and finally speaks. "Look, I know you have the qualifications, but, well... you're a dog." The dog nudges the words "We are an equal opportunity employer." on the poster, and the manager sighs. "There's no way you're bilingual." The dog looks him in the eyes, and says, "Meow."
François Carré 3 years ago
What a picky manager. I would have hired that dog on the spot without further question.
Richard A Petro 3 years ago
If i were the manager, I would've quit the stupid store the minute the dog walked in with the poster and went on the road with a "Reading Dog"; such critters are quite uncommon!
Moreover, Scott argues that “it’s possible that any joke could offend someone, and that the perceived offence is compounded by the invitation to laugh that a joke implies.”
“There is also evidence that people vary in the extent to which they think they are being personally ridiculed when they hear laughter, so it’s possible that they would be more likely to be upset by a joke,” she explained.
#4
I just failed a fire safety course when they asked what steps I would take in case of an explosion....
Apparently, “Really big ones” wasn’t an acceptable answer...
LandAhoy 3 years ago
There's a Ministry of Silly Walks clock, the hands are the legs, it's hilarious!!
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3 years ago
I feel like the second one and the third one are in the wrong place, I need to be switched with each other
#5
My Asian roommate says I have schizophrenia.
Jokes on him, I don't have a roommate.
Deep One 3 years ago
Thank the movie industry. They have been equating schizophrenia and multiple personality disorder for decades.
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PaintHat 3 years ago
Ah yes mental illness, hilarious. Such good clean fun to mock suffering. Let me go find some jokes on cancer
Belandriel 3 years ago (edited)
Well here's one from Norm MacDonald: When you die of cancer they say that you lost the fight. But when you die the cancer dies with you, so it's technically a draw! And for those of you hissing at this joke: he unfortunately died of cancer. Now you don't know what the hell to say!
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#6
A lumberjack went in to a magic forest to cut a tree. Upon arrival, he started to swing at the tree, when it shouted, “Wait! I’m a talking tree!"
The lumberjack grinned, “And you will dialogue!"
James Pasquini 3 years ago
That is exactly the kind of jokes we heard as kids while traveling in the car... with no escape! lol!
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To find out more about the Clean Jokes community, we reached out to its moderator Ccm596 who shared a couple of insights about it. “I had been wanting to start a good subreddit (I think I had already made a couple at this point, very niche stuff, /r/Kennedy, /r/matchboxtwenty, one for my hometown of only 15k people) and nothing really came to me,” the moderator recounted the origins of the subreddit.
Ccm596 noticed that “there was a sizable community in /r/jokes who had grown tired of the sub having so many ‘dirty’ jokes. I personally didn't, and don't, have an issue with dirty jokes, but I thought it'd be nice to have a community dedicated to cleaner humor,” they said in an interview.
#7
“Back in the day...” my grandpa started to say. “You could walk into a grocery store with $3 in your pocket and walk out with a loaf of bread, a dozen eggs and a bit of butter as well. But...
"Now however".. he continued, "wherever you go there are those darn cameras"
The 3 Year Letterman 3 years ago
*in British voice* this.. is the new horizon, the evolution, the final frontier…
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Lennart 3 years ago
The joke is for him being able to steal all these things before anti-theft measures
Inigo Montoya 3 years ago
Captain obvious, it's been a while. How are you doing these days?
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#8
The sky was looking ominous so I asked Siri, “Surely, it’s not going to rain again today?” She replied, “Yes, it is and don’t call me Shirley!” I guess I left my phone in Airplane mode again...
NsG 3 years ago
There's an old film called Airplane, starring Leslie Nielsen. It's considered to be one of the absolute best parody films, making fun of disaster movies that were popular at the time. There are literally hundreds of one-liners, but one of the most famous goes "Surely you can't be serious?", "I am, and don't call me Shirley" (using the fact that surely and Shirley sound similar). The film is worth a watch, including lots of background jokes. And, fun fact, the script (when not a specific joke) was a genuine disaster movie script, so they were taking the parody seriously
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Cyndra Houlihan 3 years ago
Watch the movie Airplane. If you like these jokes, you'll like at least some of the movie.
Micah 3 years ago
If you like the movie Airplane!, try the show "Angie Tribeca." It's a half-hour cop procedural, but it's a comedy with the same style of jokes as Airplane! and The Naked Gun.
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Jason Marin 3 years ago
"It's a damn good thing he doesn't know how much I hate his guts." "It's a damn good thing you don't know how much he hates your guts."
#9
Thank you student loans for getting me through college.
I don’t think I’ll ever be able to repay you.
Luis Hernandez Dauajare 3 years ago
It's this an American joke I am too foreign to understand?
So the idea of Clean Jokes, according to the moderator, is a place for redditors to have somewhere to go for jokes where they know that anything they click on will be appropriate for them to tell their children, or their coworkers. “Jokes that are guaranteed to be 'safe,' I guess. Where people of any community can have a laugh,” they added. To put it simply, the moderator says, “a clean joke” is the kind of joke that doesn’t deal in any "mature" concepts or situations.
#10
How do you tell a chemist from a communist?
A: ask them to pronounce “unionized.”
Merrill N. Munro 3 years ago
Is unionized the same as deionized? I rarely see it as un-ionized...(both a chemistry fan and a union member... so confused)
Bobby 3 years ago
Unionized should really be nonionized. Deionized is something that has been processed to remove ionic impurities. Similar but not the same
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Zibadoo 3 years ago
Then it depends on the context of the situation I guess
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Emo Sloth 3 years ago
Basically, there are these things chemistry deals with called ions and some things are ionized and some things are unionized (un-ionized). But unionized could also have to do with unions.
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Cpt. Robert Christian 3 years ago
So am I considered a "communist" because of being a proud dues paying member IAFF union? Who knew...
#11
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty second pause, I asked, "You still there sweetheart?"
"Yeah…" she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now…"
Luis Hernandez Dauajare 3 years ago
"Hey, Bill, I am calling you on that landmower you borrowed" "Wow, the landmower has really good reception"
Susan Williams 3 years ago
sort of like "turning on" the coffee maker by saying sweet stuff to it.
#12
My friend asked me if I wanted to hear a really good Batman impression, so I replied, "Go for it!" He shouted, “NO!! NOT THE KRYPTONITE!” Slightly puzzled, I said, “That’s Superman."
“Thanks man!” he laughed. “I’ve been practicing it a lot.”
*Displayname*=idk 3 years ago
My sister has videos of her jumping of the counter screaming "I AM BATMAN" . We like to bring it up.
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However, when it comes to Ccm596, “I have no qualms about dark, offensive humor. Many of my favorite jokes, to hear and tell, would not slide on the subreddit.” According to the moderator, “it is important for comedy to push the boundaries of what's 'acceptable' (so long as it isn't comedy that punches down), but at the same time, there's also definitely a place for 'safe' comedy, and it doesn't inherently have to be dark or offensive in order to push those boundaries.”
#13
A boy scout says to his scout leader, "Sir, is this snake poisonous?" The scout leader says, "No, that snake's not poisonous at all." So the boy picks up the snake, which bites him and the boy starts to spasm and foam at the mouth as the other kids look on in horror...
The scout leader says, "But that snake is venomous. Poison is ingested or absorbed, while venom is injected. Let's get it right next time, boys!"
Chancey 3 years ago
See, this is why it's important to know the difference between poisonous and venomous!
Vicki Cooper 3 years ago
I wish more people knew that. I get really annoyed hearing people (including some snake catchers, on their own shows) call snakes poisonous.
Khavrinen 3 years ago
Must not have been a Tiger Keelback ( Rhabdophis tigrinus ), an actual poisonous snake: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xGWzikzKUA
#14
I bought a universal remote today. I was disappointed to find out that it does not, in fact, control the universe. Not even remotely.
Richard A Petro 3 years ago
Actually, it does control the universe; it just takes an infinite amount of time to see the effects.
François Carré 3 years ago
You never know. Maybe it's doing great things, but in some other remote place of the universe.
Ambry Petersen 3 years ago
You till have to worry about it falling into the wrong hands...or fangs if you have a dog.
#15
If you think your microwave and your TV spying on you is bad…
Your vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for years...
Marla 3 years ago
This sort of thing has been going on for years. Ever since Hoover
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Ambry Petersen 3 years ago
Unfortunately for the vacuum most of us don't have the really juicy dirt, usually just the dry kind.
Robert Trebor 3 years ago
Electrolux was going to enter the American market, and they had an idea for the ad agency to use: "Nothing sucks like Electrolux". The ad guys talked them down from this.
When asked about how the Clean Jokes community is doing, Ccm596 said that they are honestly very happy with the state of the subreddit, “and I think our current trajectory is a good one,” the mod added.
“That said, I've always wanted to take a more active role in the moderation of the subreddit. At the moment, the MO is basically 'let AutoMod do its thing, handle things as we need to, hands off otherwise' and I think it works out fine, but a more active mod [team] certainly wouldn't hurt,” Ccm596 told us.
#16
My wife is turning 32 soon and I told her not to get her hopes up, “After all, the celebration is only going to last half a minute.” Confused, she asked, “What are you talking about?”
I said, “It’s your thirty-second birthday.”
#17
My Wife and I were blissfully happy for 25 magical years..
..and then we met.
Jo Johannsen 3 years ago
I was 20 and my husband was 19 when we got married. I was 25 when we got divorced; he was still 19.
Chinmayee Kalghatgi 3 years ago
He was mentally 19 or is there something I don’t get?
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malenchki 3 years ago
They were happy without each other then they met each other and were miserable
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#18
Can’t believe someone broke into my garage and stole my limbo stick
Seriously, how low can you go.
Moreover, “we had a bit of an incident in early days, which has me a little apprehensive about taking on new members to the team,” the mod recounted. “But like I said, I'm pretty hands-off myself too, so the answer isn't even necessarily in expanding. We used to have events once in awhile, 'joke of the month' type things, but I couldn't really think of anything fun to do with it, so I kind of dropped it after a while.”
#19
When my wife caught me standing on the bathroom scales, sucking in my stomach, she laughed, “Ha! That’s not going to help!” I said, “Sure, it does.” “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”
Ambry Petersen 3 years ago
Can't suck in the stomach while preggo, so I make my husband or my daughter read them to me instead lol.
Willa L 3 years ago
He can only see the number on the scale if he sucks in his stomach
Load More Replies... #20
My grandfather warned people that the Titanic would sink. No one listened, but he kept on warning and warning them! Nonetheless, they got sick of him... ...and kicked him out of the movie theater.
#21
The Fibonacci convention is supposed to be pretty special this year They say it's going to be as big as the last 2 put together.
Luis Hernandez Dauajare 3 years ago
The Fibonacci sequence. is the series of numbers where each number is the sum of the two preceding numbers: 0, 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34, 55, 89, 144, etc.
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#22
My Grandfather survived Pepper spray and Mustard gas attacks in two wars...
...and came home to us a seasoned Veteran.
Ambry Petersen 3 years ago
Almost as impressive as seasoned and smoked lol.....yeah I watch to many BBQ cook-off shows.
#23
I’m not bragging or anything, but I made six figures this year…
So they named me the year’s worst employee at the toy factory...
John Ford 3 years ago
Figures as in figurine toys. And 6 figures as in over 100,000$
Load More Replies... #24
You would think that a Snail without a shell would move that bit faster ? But it's actually more sluggish.
GhostlySnail 2 years ago
And then we are ghosts. I still have my shell, though.
Load More Replies... Emma Schwertner 3 years ago
this was not supposed to sound rude i swear!! XD
Load More Replies... #25
People always ask me how I sneak chocolate into movie theatres
Well lets just say, I have a few Twix up my sleeve
#26
I somehow managed to make it through high school math while only being able to remember even numbers!!
What are the odds?!
Gina Petolicchio 3 years ago (edited)
How was the 0 in 4 times 0 marked wrong lol that's actually what it equals
Ambry Petersen 3 years ago
I remember memorizing the multiplication tables, a skill that has served me well...unlike algebra.
#27
A bad workman always blames his fools… Tools!! I meant tools!! Stupid keyboard…
Ambry Petersen 3 years ago
If I had a penny for every time my autocorrect changed my intended word to something totally different I'd own the universe.
#28
For the last eight years I've been voted the " most secretive guy " in the office by my coworkers.
Can't tell you how much this award means to me.
#29
I went to the store last week to buy 6 cans of Sprite.
It wasn't until I got home that I realized I had picked 7 up.
Kelly Fifer 3 years ago
I once worked for Sprite doing door to door advertising. I have to visit 10 housewives every day and knock 7 up.
#30
A young man robbed a bank wearing a suit made of many mirrors but he turned himself in...
...after taking some time to reflect.
Luckily, the judge was lenient as he saw a lot of himself in the man.
#31
There was an old man who lived by a forest. As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting... He said, "Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it's completely gone now. My hair can't be saved. But look outside at the forest. It's such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later they'll all be cut down and this forest will look as bald as my hair." "What I want you to do..." the man continued. "Is, every time a tree is cut down or dies, plant a new one in my memory. Tell your descendants to do the same. It shall be our family's duty to keep this forest strong." So they did. Each time the forest lost a tree, the children replanted one, and so did their children, and their children after them. And for centuries, the forest remained as lush and pretty as it once was, all because of one man and his re-seeding heirline.
François Carré 3 years ago
Such a beautiful story just for a terrible pun in the end. love it.
#32
“How much to buy a singing ensemble!?” I asked the clerk. Puzzled, he questioned, "You mean a choir?" “Fine, how much to acquire a singing ensemble!?”
Beeps 3 years ago
Reminds me of: “Two pounds of strawberries, please.” - “We call that a kilo nowadays.” “Seriously? No longer strawberries???”
In too many fandoms 3 years ago
It’s because the guy think the clerk said “you mean acquire” so instead of saying “how much to buy a singing ensemble” he says “how much to acquire a singing ensemble”
Load More Replies... #33
Walking down the road last night, I passed an apple pie, an ice cream sundae, and a lemon cheesecake. I thought to myself, “The streets are strangely desserted!”
Beeps 3 years ago
When we were on holiday in Cairo there was this outdoor market with stalls selling nothing but sponge cakes, bottles of sherry, custard, and different flavours of jelly. I said to my husband: “Don’t you find that odd?” And he replied: “It’s a trifle bazaar.”
Alex Foster 3 years ago
I think I like this better than the joke it was posted on XD I'm sharing with my family
Load More Replies... #34
It’s a shame nothing is built in the USA anymore. I just bought a T.V. and it said, “Built in Antenna” and to be perfectly honest... I don’t even know where that is!
#35
While my wife was in labor I read her jokes to distract her from the pain, but she didn’t seem amused...
It must have been the delivery...
#36
We'll We'll We'll... ...if it isn't autocorrect...
Jo Johannsen 3 years ago
Wish I could turn it off. My spelling is not 100% perfect, and there will always be typos, but I'd rather make my own mistakes.
Scotira 3 years ago
Huh? How come you can't? Is that not optional on any phone?
Load More Replies... #37
I’ve just got a new job as senior director at Old MacDonald’s farm...
I’m the CIEIO!!!!
over it already 3 years ago
Why in the world would this be downvoted? I gotcha, Glasia.
Load More Replies... #38
Our doorbell rang and my son called to me, "Dad, there's a salesman here with a mustache!" I yelled back...
"Tell him I've already got one!"
Marie BellaDonna 3 years ago
The guy in the pic... Is that...a suit with skinny pants?? Ugh...
In too many fandoms 3 years ago (edited)
The dad makes a dad joke bc the son said there’s a salesman with a mustache, and the dad acts like he thinks the salesman is selling mustaches, so he says that he doesn’t need one bc he’s already got one. Btw sorry if there’s any grammar mistake English isn’t my first language.
Load More Replies... #39
What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter
Richard A Petro 3 years ago
What's the difference between an a place where people drink and an elephant farting in a cave? one's a "barroom" and the other is a "BARROOM!!!!"
#40
I told my daughter, "Did you know that humans eat more bananas than monkeys?" She rolled her eyes at me, but I persevered. "It’s true!" "When was the last time you ate a monkey?!"
GOODLUCK JOSHUA 3 years ago
Because man in Congo forst only can eat monkeys,, normal humans never eat monkeys! but they eat bananas!
#41
Smaller babies are always delivered by stork… ...but the heavier ones need to be delivered by crane...
#42
My wife thinks I don’t give her enough privacy...
At least, that’s what she said in her diary
#43
What does Alexander the Great have in common with Winnie the Pooh? Same middle name.
WhyAmIHere 3 years ago
What do my mom and your mom have in common? They both raised disappointments.
#44
If Jesus and Poseidon ever fought, Jesus would walk all over him.
#45
I poured my root beer into a square cup... Now I’ve just got beer...
#46
The big bad wolf converted to Buddhism and there was finally peace in the forest. But suddenly, the air was filled with screams of terror! A bear asked the animals running past him, "What's happening now?" "The big bad wolf!" a goat shouted. "Is meditating!" "So? Isn't that a good thing? questioned the bear. "Noooo!" the goat bleated. "It's become aware wolf!"
#47
I said to my wife, "I need to call the doctor today." She asked, "Which doctor?" I smiled back, "No, the regular kind."
#48
What's the difference between a wizard who raises the undead and a sexy vampire?
One is a necromancer and the other is a neck romancer.
Leah zzstu Merritt 3 years ago
I would say that the female is the vampire because she has red eyes, but I respect your opinions.
ThePanInPanda 3 years ago
I'm trying to guess which of the people in the picture is the wizard and which is the vampire.
#49
As we were walking down the driveway with the cans, I asked my son, "Did you know there’s no official training for garbage men?" Rolling his eyes, he responded, "No, no I didn't." I continued...
"Seriously, they just pick it up as they go along!"
ArodTheHorrible 3 years ago
Not sure I've seen 23 downvotes before... wow. How long do you get banned for that? Also, nothing low class about sanitation work.
Cleo Bean 3 years ago
Community service workers are NOT low class, but that comment you made was.
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#50
I was really embarrassed when my wife walked in on me playing with my son’s train set by myself, so in a moment of panic, I threw a bed sheet over it...
I think I managed to cover my tracks...
#51
I took my 8-year old girl to the office with me on, "Take Your Kid to Work Day." As we were walking around the office, she starting crying and getting very cranky, so I asked what was wrong with her. As my coworkers gathered round, she sobbed loudly, "Daddy, where are all the clowns that you said that you worked with?!"
#52
When I told my girlfriend I was named after Thomas Jefferson, she rolled her eyes and said, "Your name is Brian.” I said, “I know, but..." "I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson!"
#53
I dig. You dig. We dig. They dig. He dig. She dig. Now it's not a very beautiful poem, but it's quite deep.
#54
A genie asked, "What’s your first wish?" Steve answered, "I wish I was rich!" And the genie said... "What’s your second wish, Rich?"
#55
My family is all worried about my addiction to dot to dot puzzles. It's OK though... I know where to draw the line..
#56
I looked up from my computer and asked my son, "Have you heard of the blind cyclops brothers?" Puzzled, he replied, "Uh, no." I responded... "Neither have eye."
#57
I asked my girlfriend if I could make her mine. "Yes! Oh, yes!" she shouted, eyes filled with tears. "Great!" I said. "Now take this pick and go find me some gold!"
#58
Why are people from Ohio good at finding a spouse? Because they can go from Dayton to Marion in less than two hours.
#59
A pregnant woman hobbles painfully into the hospital with one hand on her back. A nurse rushes over to her and asks her what’s wrong, but the woman just shouts, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Didn’t!” The nurse shakes her head and says, “Sorry, I don’t understand!” The woman screams, “Can’t! Won’t! Don’t!” The nurse is really confused and turns to a doctor who says, “Admit her immediately!! She’s having contractions!!”
#60
I found a rock yesterday which measured 1760 yards in length… Must be some kind of milestone…
#61
What do you call a pirate wearing a sombrero? A sea señor.
#63
If there’s a bee in my hand, what’s in my eye? Beauty, because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder.
Tim Phree 3 years ago
More beauty if a second one? Two bee or not Two Bee, that is the question.
Federico Guerrero-Isaza 3 years ago
you just have to bee lieve in yourself.
Load More Replies... #64
As a wizard, I enjoy turning objects into glass... I just wanted to make that clear...
#65
A Woman stopped me on the pavement, said She recognized me from the vegetarian club.. But I'm certain I hadn't met herbivore.
#66
I yelled at my girlfriend, "If you continue stealing my cooking utensils, I'll move out!" She just laughed and said... "That's a whisk I'm willing to take!"
#67
I gave my daughter a watch for her birthday. She thought it was so cool and when she showed it to the next door neighbor, he asked, "That's a pretty watch you've got there! Does it tell you the time?"
She laughed and said, "No, this is an old-fashioned watch! You have to look at it!"
#69
What did the sand say as the tide came in ? Hey ! Long time no sea.
#70
All of the fortune tellers I've met are either really depressing or overly enhusiastic. Why can't I find a happy medium?
#71
A Man rushed into a Doctor's surgery, shouting ' help me Doctor, I'm shrinking' The Doctor calmly said ' Now settle down a bit '.. .. you'll just have to learn to be a little patient.
#72
I looked longingly into my beloved's eyes and whispered "A...E...I...O...U...and sometimes, Y." The priest then turned to her. "And has the bride prepared any wedding vowels?"
#73
What do you call a beehive without an exit? Unbelievable
Tim Phree 3 years ago
Should you help them by adding a tube? Tube bees or not tube bees, that is the question.
Richard A Petro 3 years ago
Mr. Phree you have BEE-FUDDLED me and I'm BEE-GINNING to become BEE-DAZZLED by your BEE-AUTIFUL responses..... really, BEE-LIEVE me!!
Load More Replies... #74
My son and I went camping yesterday when he asked me how to start a campfire. I explained, "You can start a fire by rubbing two sticks together, but make sure they’re the same because then... "You’ll have a match!"
#75
What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum? A meltdown
#76
The CDC has a recommendation for telling jokes during the pandemic...
Inside jokes, only.
#77
You know that theory about no two people see colors exactly the same way..? .. surely it's a pigment of their imagination.
#78
My shoes aren't very supportive and make me uncomfortable... ... you might say they're my arch enemies.
#79
My son asked me, "Is this pool safe for diving?" I chuckled and replied... "It deep ends..."
#80
In a recent poll, 80% of people in America said they would not open their homes to a sentient water basin that walked up to their door and asked for shelter... Let that sink in...
#81
My Wife is leaving me because I'm beginning to go bald. I don't mind...but it's Hair loss.
What do you think ?
Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 3 years ago
These are amazingly horrible, I'm going to go make my friends hate me with these now
ShareMusic 3 years ago
Funniest collection of clean jokes I've read in quite a while! Thank you! I love a good pun, too!
Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 3 years ago
These are amazingly horrible, I'm going to go make my friends hate me with these now
ShareMusic 3 years ago
Funniest collection of clean jokes I've read in quite a while! Thank you! I love a good pun, too!
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