50 Hilarious Tweets That Helped Us Collectively Survive This August

My Daughters find me..quaint. "Why don't you get a laptop?".."Yeah, no" my desk top is just fine, thanks.

Now, they're rolling around the city, delivering Uber Eats, taking income from a person.

We have four adults in this house, all of whom are either IT professionals or very comfortable with IT. We converted an upstairs room into a server room with six Windows servers, a few Linux machines, three NAS appliances, and other accoutrements. So they all live in their own room, which is nice. But we also have five desktop workstations, three laptops, three or four tablets, four cell phones, smart TVs, etc. I understand this person's sentiments. There are times when it is very, very nice to head for the dog park.

That's the situation in my home, but I'm a 75 year old.

Hmm, the problem I quickly found was my other half just went into the room with the computer and stayed there.

Best response ever.

I'm a male, and even I know if a man asks about "positions" in a household whatever theyre gonna say next is gonna be blatantly incorrect.

I never trust a 'bread winner', sounds like a gambler.

What a stupid question?? I feel so sorry for this man who regards this type of relationship as transactional.

Love that

I can tell when Summer turns to Autumn. I don't know if it's the tilt of the Earth or what, but I cannot tell when other seasons turn.

This is a beautiful way to express it!

I’m always glad when summer is over…but just a little wistful, too.

He's a good boy! 😁

It looks to me like a golden sitting behind a tnr cat.

Call me Pat

I do, Shirley.

I laughed so hard that i spilt food onto my white shirt. GRRR

Stopped wearing white a long time ago! Last time was in Budapest when I ended up wearing a goulash stain! Was worth it though, was delicious. I also own two dark-furred dogs now, so that doesn't help!

White shirt in a ramen restaurant really wasn't the smartest choice. A mistake I've only made once

This is my sister. Also applies to any new item of clothing.

That’s impressive

Miki

Miki

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On its own, that's an interesting idea, but riddle me this: Why this person didn't used the table that's underneath??

Finally a useful reason for a baseball cap.

Samara from The Ring. Scary af

Hahaha, hahaha, hahaha!

Yes, because typing in “refer to my CV as it’s all in there” doesn’t work.

"If you had to give up a body part for the CEO which part would you choose?"

"too"

I did that. As I was filling out the application, I thought I heard my OLD boss's voice. I didn't want to work for him again, so I just left. And left the application there, tho. It wasn't my old boss's voice. It was my NEW boss's voice.

Every survey, ever.

sounds about right.

Most of my friends are guys. We ride motorcycles, lean on trucks and talk about random things like Model T transmissions, big steam trains, weird trivia, and whatever else interests us. The occasional personal thing comes up but it's not the focus, just one more side road. When I do a girls weekend we talk about family, relationships, beliefs, occasionally travel, and sometimes cooking and gardening. Different not better or worse, just different.

Husband's response: "What's wrong with that?"

Lotekguy

Lotekguy

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What?? No time devoted to debates over their favorite pro and college teams and players? Unthinkable!

Men. omg With two heads that don't talk to each other I'm not surprised. hehe

why is he blue!

somthings fishy here?

Somebody doesn't know the difference between a scar and a scratch.