Friend Asks For Weekend Babysitting Favor, Never Comes Back For Her Kid

For some people, their connection with their kids is merely biological. They bring a child into the world without accepting the responsibilities that come with it. 

This woman decided that meeting with her long-distance boyfriend was a bigger priority than caring for her four-year-old daughter. She then left the child with a male friend and never came back. 

The man eventually got close to the daughter and began to seek custody, prompting a complicated situation with the woman’s family. You may want to have some popcorn handy while reading this lengthy post. 

Some people aren’t meant to be parents, but still choose to have children

Man holding a young girl outdoors, focusing on the theme of babysitting.

Image credits: Brooke Cagle (not the actual image)

A woman had plans to meet up with her boyfriend and decided to leave her child with a friend for the weekend

Image with text about a woman asking a friend to babysit her daughter for a weekend that extended to two months.

Text about babysitting Mariana and becoming fond of her.

Text message about babysitting request from a friend planning to travel to Atlanta.

Text saying, "I agreed to babysit. She told the school and everything," related to babysitting arrangements.

Text excerpt about a woman leaving clothes and a toy before catching a plane.

Woman at airport window with suitcase, looking at plane on runway.

Image credits: josemiguelsangar

However, she failed to show up on the day she promised to

Text about caring for a friend's daughter, park visit, dinner, and reading stories.

Text about babysitting weekend activities, including library visits and crafts, with a friend's daughter.

Text about a woman not picking up her daughter as planned, leading to concern and unanswered calls.

Text about a woman disappearing, leaving her daughter with a friend who wonders what to do.

Man in a casual shirt texting on a smartphone, focused on the screen.

Image credits: EyeEm (not the actual image)

The friend was obligated to take care of the child, who struggled with the new arrangement

Text message about visiting a friend's empty home and failing to contact mutual friends, related to babysitting disappearance.

Text message about a babysitting weekend turned months-long; child crying for mom.

Text about babysitting daughter while mother is away on an unexpected trip.

Text discussing a child's nightmares and anxiety after being abandoned by her mother who asked a friend to babysit.

Text from letter about babysitting arrangement with futon setup near bed.

Young girl holding a stuffed toy, gazing out of a window, symbolizing waiting and uncertainty.

Image credits: EyeEm (not the actual image)

The man had no choice but to seek assistance from law enforcement 

Text about caring for a child with new clothes, shoes, and lessons after a woman left her daughter for babysitting.

Text about a friend's daughter improving health with regular meals.

Text about legal guardian issues after babysitter's friend disappears for months.

Text about a woman discussing concerns after babysitting her friend's daughter who disappeared for months.

Text reads about a father emotionally hugging his daughter before a trip to the police station.

Man sitting on a sofa looking stressed about babysitting situation.

Image credits: miksturaproduction (not the actual image)

He also contemplated escalating the matter with Child Protective Services

Emotional text expressing love and desire to babysit woman's daughter.

Text message about babysitting disappearance, mentioning grandmother and uncle's indifference to child's care.

Text screenshot about a woman seeking advice on adopting her friend’s daughter after babysitting for months.

Text message about custody decision after woman disappears, discussing future actions with grandmother and CPS involvement.

Text message about planning a special night, mentions giving Mariana the best night of her life.

Woman seeks legal advice after friend disappears, leaving her as surrogate parent for months.

Man talking on phone, concerned expression, holding a mug, addressing babysitting and disappearance issue.

Image credits: freepik (not the actual image)

However, his decision didn’t sit well with the young girl’s grandmother

Text from a friend explaining the need for temporary custody of her friend's daughter, concerned about trauma from separation.

Text discussing cultural identity in babysitting situation.

Text message discussing conflict after babysitting friend’s daughter; mentions CPS and intentions to adopt the child.

Text discussing conflict between personalities and focus on Mariana's wellbeing in a babysitting situation.

Image credits: Kidsittingforever

People who abandon their children may also feel lonely

There is no excuse for abandoning your child. You’re giving them lifelong trauma they don’t deserve. However, those who do it may likely be dealing with their own issues. 

“Quite often, the parents [who abandon children] feel abandoned themselves in terms of feeling isolated, not having a support system in which they can vent, talk, whatever,” Family Support Center executive director Bonnie Peters told Deseret News. 

Regardless of their reasons for leaving, a parent’s sudden absence in a child’s life may cause abandonment trauma. And if it happens at a young age, as it did with Mariana in the story, it may leave her with lifelong scars when she grows older. 

A 2021 review published in the National Library of Medicine suggests a link between an insecure attachment and the development of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). 

The trauma can linger into adulthood if left untreated, according to licensed marriage and family therapist Dr. Luis Ramirez. As he tells Psych Central, it can manifest through the fear of abandonment. 

“It will come out like sweat out of our pores as subconscious responses manifest through negative behaviors, depression, sadness, anger, anxiety, or paranoia,” he said. 

The devastating effects of being abandoned as a child are likely one of the reasons why the author felt compelled to contact local authorities. Social worker Elaine Totten-Beal says people are typically hesitant to take action.  

“Some people say, ‘Should I report or should I help?’ It’s not mutually exclusive,” she told Deseret News. “You can report it to people who need to know while also offering help. You can do both of those things.” 

Totten-Beal adds that people reporting child abandonment can remain anonymous, and she encourages people to do the right thing. It’s a good thing the author did, but unfortunately, the unfavorable circumstances that followed were beyond his control. 

Commenters didn’t hold back with their reactions as the man answered their questions

Reddit thread discusses woman abandoning daughter after asking friend to babysit, exploring emergency custody options.

Reddit conversation about a woman who disappeared after asking her friend to babysit her daughter.

Reddit discussion on child abandonment, highlighting legal advice and CPS involvement regarding a babysitting situation.

Discussion on babysitting responsibility and legal advice in comment thread.

Reddit discussion about a woman's friend disappearing for months after asking to babysit her daughter.

Conversation about babysitting a daughter, discussing financial help and refusing monetary assistance.

Discussion about woman disappearing after asking friend to babysit daughter.

Text exchange about babysitting a daughter, discussing guardianship and lack of communication from the mother.

Text conversation about a woman disappearing for months after asking friend to babysit her daughter.

Text exchange about a woman who babysits her friend's daughter and experiences emotional bonding.

Reddit discussion about a woman's friend disappearing for months after asking her to babysit.

Reddit thread comment praising a woman for taking responsibility of a friend's daughter.

Text exchange discussing a mother leaving her daughter with a friend for babysitting, then disappearing for months.

Reddit comments discussing a babysitting situation, praising the original poster.

Reddit discussion about a friend babysitting a vanished mom's daughter, showing support and perseverance.

Discussion about babysitting situation and reporting to CPS.

Reddit comments about a woman asking a friend to babysit, with focus on CPS involvement and perseverance.

Discussion on babysitting after child's mother disappears, user suggests reminding authorities of responsibility.

Discussion about confidentiality in court cases related to babysitting and child welfare issues.

Online comments discussing babysitting and legal advice for adoption.

Text exchange discussing babysitting situation and child custody advice.

Comment on a story about a woman disappearing after asking a friend to babysit, expressing mixed emotions.

Reddit comment offering advice on handling child custody after a mother disappears for months.

The author provided an update, stating the police had been handling the case

Text conversation about a friend disappearing after leaving her daughter, mentioning various people connected to her.

Text detailing a complaint to CAS for procedural issues, related to a woman disappearing after asking a friend to babysit.

Text about babysitting dispute, involving child agency and guardianship rights.

Text about a woman found pregnant after disappearing, possibly facing deportation, and not returning calls.

Police officer and man in a yellow shirt discussing a missing person report.

Image credits: Ahmet Kurt (not the actual image)

The situation got more complicated thanks to the child’s mother and grandmother

Text message discussing reaching out to family when calls were unanswered, related to a babysitting situation.

Text excerpt discussing a conversation about Mariana and her situation.

Screenshot of group text discussing a childcare situation with controversial remarks.

Text details parental rights and distress in child care situation.

Text revealing custody and substance issues involving a child.

Text discussing parental rights and system manipulation.

Woman holding child's hand, wearing patterned leggings, signifying babysitting trust.

Image credits: freepik (not the actual image)

The author claimed that the girl’s relatives had been criticizing him publicly via social media

Text conversation about babysitting and financial issues related to Mariana.

Text discussing pregnancy, relocation to the states, and DUI issues.

Text message discussing adoption and care of child, referencing babysitting situation.

Text recounts a woman discussing why she was chosen to babysit a friend's daughter, Mariana, reflecting on love and trust.

Text message recounts a tearful talk, followed by a Facebook tirade.

Woman on a phone call outside during winter, wearing a scarf and ring, discussing babysitting arrangements.

Image credits: pvproductions (not the actual image)

He also admitted to feeling depressed because of the messy situation

Text message discussing woman's untrustworthy situation; mentions drink, d***s, and boyfriend issues.

Text message discussing a friend's support and sacrifice during a difficult time related to a woman's disappearance.

Text discussing a legal deal for Mariana's adoption involving friends and family court representation.

Text discussing emotional impact on Mariana after mother disappears for months.

Text excerpt expressing feelings of bitterness, anger, and helplessness after months of struggle.

Plush toys on an empty chair, symbolizing babysitting disappearance.

Image credits: La Miko (not the actual image)

According to him, seeing the girl’s belongings that had been left in his possession had been difficult for him to handle

Text about missing daughter impacts mental health and legal situation of woman who babysat.

Text about "system failing Mariana" reflecting concern over a babysitting situation.

Text from online thread about a young mom starting a relationship and meeting frequently.

Text discussing emotional attachment and childcare responsibilities for Mariana.

Text discussing concerns about parental rights and child safety in a slow legal process.

Text about uncertain future, mentioning not seeing Mariana for over a year, likely ending.

Image credits: Kidsittingforever

Commenters sympathized with the man and sent their well-wishes

Reddit comments discussing a babysitting situation, expressing empathy and gratitude to a pro bono lawyer.

Text exchange about a film resembling a babysitting story, discussing its happy ending.

Reddit comment expressing sympathy about a woman asking a friend to babysit her daughter before disappearing.

Comment about a system's failure and support in babysitting situation.

Reddit comment reacting to a story about a woman disappearing for months after leaving daughter with a friend.

The author provided another update, stating that the situation got even more complicated

Text about a mother abandoning her daughter with a friend for months.

Text reveals surprise pregnancy news from a new relationship.

Text discussing custody and care of a child after being returned by CPS.

Text discussing dramatic relationship events and legal issues.

Text excerpt about someone backing out of a suit and uncertainty about Mariana's support.

Person sitting by a window, looking distressed, symbolizes friend overwhelmed by unexpected babysitting duty.

Image credits: freepik (not the actual image)

He also expressed sadness about not seeing the girl anymore after exhausting all legal options

Text expressing regret about Mariana not returning.

Text excerpt about dating a mom from Reddit, discussing relationship progress with her and her child.

Text about friendship and healing after a woman babysits a friend's daughter.

Text about handling a friend's daughter's belongings after unexpected lengthy absence.

Text message discussing legal options and the need for help, related to a friend babysitting missing woman's daughter.

Image credits: Kidsittingforever

Readers likewise felt bad for the author and tried to console him

Discussion about a woman asking a friend to babysit her daughter, leading to legal complications after she disappears.

Online discussion about babysitting dilemma and fostering a bond with a child.

Screenshot of a supportive comment, related to a woman disappearing after asking a friend to babysit.

Comment about woman leaving friend to babysit daughter, referring to moving on and wishing Mariana well.

Comment on babysitting dilemma suggesting resilience and focus on personal joy.

Reddit comment expressing sympathy related to a babysitting situation.

Text message about a similar babysitting situation with a daughter.

Text conversation expressing support after a woman leaves her daughter with a friend and disappears.

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