People Are Disgusted With This Woman Who Cut Off Her Stepdaughter’s Hair, Leaving Her In Tears
Getting ready for school presents more than one challenge, and dealing with messy hair is a common one. Needless to say, for those with extra long hair, it can get pretty time consuming.
For redditor u/Free_Grapefruit2289, taking care of her stepdaughter’s hair before school got too burdensome. That was one of the reasons she convinced the hairdresser to shorten the 11-year-old’s hair from below her waist to just past the shoulders. The woman’s decision upset not only the little girl, but her husband, and members of the AITA community as well.
Some people would rather cut long hair than have to deal with it in the morning
Image credits: AlexVog (not the actual photo)
This woman cut her stepdaughter’s hair as it was becoming a burden
Image credits: Olena_Rudo (not the actual photo)
Image credits: LightFieldStudios (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Free_Grapefruit2289
There are certain boundaries stepparents should never overstep
People in the comments didn’t hold back their opinions; they criticized the stepmother not only for cutting the hair against the little girl’s will but also for doing that without discussing it with her father. Verywell Mind suggested that stepparents should be mindful of certain boundaries, which can cause problems if intentionally or inadvertently overstepped. It pointed out that even though kids might find it difficult to articulate their boundaries clearly, crossing them can have a negative impact on their mental health.
Parents Magazine seconded the idea that there are some things stepparents should never do, such as trying to take the other parent’s place or pressure their partner to put them first. It also emphasized that adults shouldn’t assume a position of authority in regards to their stepchildren, as it can result in negative consequences, such as anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem or make the kid emotionally withdrawn.
A portrait of stepfamilies in the US, presented by Pew Research Center in 2011, revealed that more than one in four Americans have at least one step relative in their family, be it a stepparent, a stepchild, or a step/half-sibling (with 18%, 13%, and 30% people with step relatives having them respectively). Despite the majority—roughly 70%—of people with non-biological relatives being satisfied with their families, those surveyed admitted to feeling a stronger sense of obligation to their biological family members, according to the survey.
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
Some people really value their hair, despite it being difficult to manage at times
The woman seemingly didn’t discuss the problems about her stepdaughter’s hair with her husband—the girl’s father—as he later said he would have dealt with them himself. Even though roughly one-in-three people spend a week out of their year getting ready in the mornings themselves, he said he wouldn’t have minded waking up earlier to take care of his child’s hair.
You Gov revealed that women typically take longer to get ready than their male counterparts. (Pew Research Center pointed out that the situation is no different when it comes to teenagers as well; girls spend roughly an hour on grooming while boys dedicate 40 minutes of their day to it.) It is likely to have something to do with hair, as females often have longer locks than men, which often requires more time to manage. TIME delved deeper into the importance of long hair, suggesting that it was once considered by some a symbol of good health and was even used to show off a status of wealth.
No matter the reasons people decide to grow out their hair, some of them really value and make sure to take good care of it. The OP’s stepdaughter seemingly took good care of hers, too, and was alarmed that the hairdresser might cut too much of it off. Once they did, the girl was understandably upset. Especially considering that hair grows roughly six inches per year, and the chop the 11-year-old got was quite a significant one, resulting in a fight between the OP and her husband and quite a few angered redditors in the comments.
Bored Panda has reached out to the user ‘Free_Grapefruit2289’ via Reddit and will update the article once we’ve heard back from her.
Image credits: Maria Tyutina (not the actual photo)
The internet condemned the woman’s actions and unanimously decided she was a jerk in the situation
My daughter had beautiful ginger hair that almost reached her butt, she went to stay with her grandparents and came home with a short bob. I was furious, even more so when grandma told me to tell my daughter how beautiful she looked now she had a proper hair cut. My daughter was distraught and I had to deal with her refusing to look in a mirror for months because she would get upset everytime she saw her reflection. Yes, it's only hair and grows back, but in reality it's so much more than that, she was 12 years old and wasn't the same child for quite a few months and her hair never grew back to the same length.
I'd take grandma for a ride to hairdresser "mom, your current hairstyle is ridiculous, we need get you a "proper haircut", no "buts", since I decided you will look much better you have no say in that"
Load More Replies...
In the 80s and 90s, when I grew up and in the culture I grew up in, children had very little autonomy. Stepmothers were considered to have full authority over their stepchildren (as much as a full parent) and no one would have batted an eye at this stepmother doing this back then. SO glad that the cultural climate has changed since then. I had no control over any part of myself (hair, clothes, etc.) when I was 11.
It was abuse then too. It took me a long time to reconcile the hell my stepmother inflicted (along with my father). And because it didn’t include straight up physical abuse (at first) I was gaslit into thinking there was nothing to be upset about (I was still distressed, just suppressed it). I know it wasn’t acceptable then because the family I babysat for regularly started watching over me and cleverly keeping an eye on my mental health. The mother explained to me years later how disturbing it was watch.
Load More Replies...
I'm 56 and love my mum, best mum ever. Never, ever forgave her for cutting my hair when I was 6 though. We still argue because as an adult I refuse to have short hair and she always has short hair. A 56 year and an 81 year old still having the same single issue, just think about that before you mess with children's autonomy.
Same here, same ages. And my gran loved long hair so never allowed my mum to have her hair cut short and she hated it, first thing she did when she was 18 was to cut it shoulder length; I still have my hair long, never shorter than mid-back
Load More Replies...
My daughter had beautiful ginger hair that almost reached her butt, she went to stay with her grandparents and came home with a short bob. I was furious, even more so when grandma told me to tell my daughter how beautiful she looked now she had a proper hair cut. My daughter was distraught and I had to deal with her refusing to look in a mirror for months because she would get upset everytime she saw her reflection. Yes, it's only hair and grows back, but in reality it's so much more than that, she was 12 years old and wasn't the same child for quite a few months and her hair never grew back to the same length.
I'd take grandma for a ride to hairdresser "mom, your current hairstyle is ridiculous, we need get you a "proper haircut", no "buts", since I decided you will look much better you have no say in that"
Load More Replies... In the 80s and 90s, when I grew up and in the culture I grew up in, children had very little autonomy. Stepmothers were considered to have full authority over their stepchildren (as much as a full parent) and no one would have batted an eye at this stepmother doing this back then. SO glad that the cultural climate has changed since then. I had no control over any part of myself (hair, clothes, etc.) when I was 11.
It was abuse then too. It took me a long time to reconcile the hell my stepmother inflicted (along with my father). And because it didn’t include straight up physical abuse (at first) I was gaslit into thinking there was nothing to be upset about (I was still distressed, just suppressed it). I know it wasn’t acceptable then because the family I babysat for regularly started watching over me and cleverly keeping an eye on my mental health. The mother explained to me years later how disturbing it was watch.
Load More Replies... I'm 56 and love my mum, best mum ever. Never, ever forgave her for cutting my hair when I was 6 though. We still argue because as an adult I refuse to have short hair and she always has short hair. A 56 year and an 81 year old still having the same single issue, just think about that before you mess with children's autonomy.
Same here, same ages. And my gran loved long hair so never allowed my mum to have her hair cut short and she hated it, first thing she did when she was 18 was to cut it shoulder length; I still have my hair long, never shorter than mid-back
Load More Replies...
133
162