Woman Blamed For Being Upset Over Canceled Honeymoon, Internet Urges Her To Cancel The Wedding
Marriage is often a compromise, in the service of something greater. But this doesn’t mean giving up everything you’ve wanted just because your partner has a change of plans. Particularly, if you aren’t even married to this person yet.
A woman (23) asked if she was wrong to be upset when her husband-to-be (35) decided to cancel their honeymoon to Paris so he could fund a monster truck with “the boys.” You read that correctly. Readers did their best to convince OP that she needed to get out of this situation as quickly as humanly possible.
For many people, a honeymoon is an important and magical part of getting married
Image credits: M.Peinado (not the actual photo)
But one woman ended up having her dream trip canceled for a pretty selfish reason
Image credits: Keira Burton (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Material-Dig2246
It’s hard to see any positives in the fiance’s actions
Image credits: Budgeron Bach (not the actual photo)
Given the avalanche of evidence presented by OP, this is basically an open-and-shut case. She presented her dream honeymoon, and her fiance agreed to it, then he canceled it for a personal hobby and doesn’t even understand why she is upset. As OP herself stated, a honeymoon is supposed to be a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Banking on a “second” honeymoon is roughly equivalent to researching divorce lawyers while walking down the aisle.
So the real question isn’t “if” OP is in the wrong, it’s hard to imagine a universe where that is true unless she is lying. What is perhaps more baffling is why she is with this man in the first place and why she even questions the fact that she is upset. To answer the first one, we know very little about this relationship, but it seems unlikely that she is there for the money.
After all, her fiance canceled a trip to Paris over finances. While overseas Eurotrips are by no means cheap, it’s also not something ludicrously expensive like buying a yacht to supercar. Yet he didn’t have money for it. Beyond that, it’s impossible to speculate, as we don’t know much else about the relationship.
He seems to have almost convinced her that she shouldn’t even feel unhappy
Image credits: Antoni Shkraba (not the actual photo)
What’s more surprising is that OP legitimately feels conflicted about how she feels. It would appear like the fiance is attempting to guilt trip her. After all, in a vacuum, you should support your partner’s hobbies, telling them not to do it is manipulative and controlling behavior. However, this is not actually what is happening in this story. The fiance, without even consulting OP, backed out of the honeymoon to do his own thing.
This, alongside the age difference, might indicate that there is an abnormally large power gap in this relationship. For better or worse, this is true for nearly every relationship, but it’s telling that OP has none of her own money put into the honeymoon. While the fiance doesn’t actually have to give OP anything before they are married, the majority of commenters are right, if he is acting like this before the wedding, it’s only going to get worse.
Every marriage is different, there are partnerships where, perhaps implicitly, both parties understand that they might have different priorities. However, it’s quite clear that this is important to OP, and her husband-to-be, ostensibly her biggest ally, has pushed her down to third place in terms of what he considers when making plans. If she ranks below “the boys” and a literal monster truck now, marriage is unlikely to make things better.
OP needs to face the truth that this guy is a waste of time and space
Image credits: Juan Pablo Serrano Arenas (not the actual photo)
Setting aside her fiance having the priorities of an eight-year-old, it’s clear that this man has, one way or another, gaslit OP into not realizing his faults. To reiterate the original point, there is nearly no shape, way, or form where she would be a “jerk” for feeling upset over a canceled honeymoon. To add insult to injury, he suggested a trip to Epcot as a worthy alternative, which might indicate that he perhaps doesn’t even know what Paris is.
Ultimately, we can only hope that she took this experience and the hundreds of comments in support of her to heart and worked out an exit strategy. A man who can’t even afford a trip to Paris is not worth being unloved in a marriage. Besides, dumping him can’t hurt that much, he can take out his emotions on the track with his shiny new monster truck. Afterward, he can eat his sorrows away with a happy meal and perhaps enjoy some cartoons.
People were shocked at the fiance’s behavior and did their best to warn OP
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Create a doodle of a woman using crayons, preferably using your non-dominant hand. Give it to him and say he can have this instead of a human fiancé. Much as comparing Paris to the Epcot Centre, “it’s basically the same”.
OP wrote a single comment on Reddit about how her fiancé calls her his "c*m doll" in front of his friends and that he says that's just his friend's vibe. Poor girl is being gaslit to hell, I hope she gets out, this is disgusting.
🤮 He and his friends are poor excuses for human beings if demeaning their partners is their "vibe". Now if she asked to be called that, then that's fine. If any of this is real, OP needs therapy. Just based on the fact that she put up with being called that and staying engaged with this walking red flag.
Load More Replies... Las Vegas! You can see the Eiffel Tower, the Statue of Liberty, the Colosseum, the Statue of David, the Grand Canal, the Egyptian Pyramids in Las Vegas. And get married. He can invest your honeymoon money in a casino to buy his dream! Seriously, get out of there, dump the infant before he drives you into penury.
She should give him a Hot Wheels truck to share with his friends. It's basically the same.
You are 12 yrs younger, I was 16 yrs younger. I was you. 40 yrs ago. Trust me. Do not marry him. It took 10 yrs before the disrespect and other things took priority over me. You're lucky, he's showing you early, you can stop it now. It will not get better. He is showing you his best right now. You deserve Paris with a man who wants to enjoy it with you 100% hugs
Stories like this make me think there is a group of teens sitting around saying 'let's make up the most ridiculous s**t, post it on AITH and watch people lose their minds", because, is anyone really this stupid and in need of the opinion of others to decide?
People have admitted to doing exactly that, and apparently some do it every day.
Load More Replies...
Your husband-to-be is definitely not husband material. How do I know? Well, same way as you: he cancels a trip you're looking forward to without consulting you, spends the money on something only he likes and then on top of all of this blames you for not being supportive! If you stay with that, well, guy, you will spend your life being blamed by him for everything under the sun. This trip-cancellation is a sign and it says "Get out NOW!"
My ex and I had planned a few days in London as I wanted to see a display of Egyption artifacts that were on show from Eygpt. Once in a life time. He suddenly turned round and told me that he hadn't booked the time off work and didn't want to go. I went on my own. Note I said my ex. Get rid of him. He is completly selfish. Easier to get rid of a fiance then a husband especially with a child.
Dump him and DO NOT marry him. He's selfish, greedy, immature. And sound take him to court, if need b be,, to get back every dime she contributed, ans start her life poverty again, much wiser. She young, she has plenty of time to find a good man...acreal man as opposed to self absorbed manchild. I ho0e sir see thing clearly before she marries it
It seems like this guy was so immature that he couldn’t get with a woman his own age, and now he’s treating you like an accessory that doesn’t have as much value as his truck. Please please please leave him.
Tell him to marry that monster truck and they can have their honeymoon in Epcot Centre Paris instead. SMH!!!
I love the idea of giving him a Tonka truck and telling him "It's basically the same thing."
You, at 23, are not old enough to get married, he, at 35, is too old to get married. Save your money and go to Paris alone or with a friend.
Was hoping for a response from OP, but the only comment from her I found was that when around his friends he calls her his "cụm doll." Absolutely repulsive. I hope she leaves. He wants an ornament, not a wife.
This is his warning shot; imagine going into labor alone, and other "Life Evevt"s"spent alone; because this Manchind has clearly told you his priorities. Get your money back, and end this sham!
That age gap is absolutely inappropriate! As a 34 year old man, I can ASSURE no man (or anyone) around my age has any business in getting romantically involved in people under 25. Our brain doesn't fully mature until around that age, and someone over 30 hasn't only gotten past that point, but has also lived years since gaining experience and stability. That age difference is inappropriate for the exact same reason why it's inappropriate for a 20 year old to date a 16 year old: because of the difference in the cognitive development, they can not be on equal footing in the relationship. The older has SO MUCH power over the younger. Period. (And I'm disgusted about the fact that that's exactly the reason why so many men are especially interested in women under 25.) And that's only the maturity reason: most people are at a very different point in their life too as a 20-something year-old versus in their 30's.
That's baloney. I know women in their 20's that have their older partners wrapped around their little finger. It's ageist and sexist to say that a woman can not wield as much personal power as a man. How would you feel if I tell you that at age 30, your brain is not fully matured either.
Load More Replies...
No, the 12 year "age gap" isn't the most alarming part of this story. The most alarming part is the gap between his level of maturity and hers.
Take it from someone who tried for 25 long years to change this behavior in her EX husband, you won't change him, he is an immature child, do yourself the biggest favor and get out now. Don't waste your entire life like I did.
Anymore all these seem as if they’re written by Jr. High schoolers as larks or by AI. Don’t believe any of these anymore.
The courting behavior is ending and he’s starting to show his real self. This will not improve.
This is merely a preview of things to come. Bachelor party: booze flowing like the Nile River, strippers, lap dancing. (It won't stop with the lap dancing, trust me.) Wedding: his frat buddies trying to sober him up enough to walk down the aisle without collapsing; running extremely late. Can barely stand, slurs vows. Reception: when cutting the cake, he shoves the slice into his bride's face. He stumbles more than dances with his bride; he disappears to drink in the parking lot with his buddies. Honeymoon: what honeymoon? He's still hungover. How to cancel this scenario? Hand him his ring back, get EVERY cent you invested back, open a separate bank account, and go to Paris. Oh yes, tell HIM where HE can go--and how to get there.
Create a doodle of a woman using crayons, preferably using your non-dominant hand. Give it to him and say he can have this instead of a human fiancé. Much as comparing Paris to the Epcot Centre, “it’s basically the same”.
OP wrote a single comment on Reddit about how her fiancé calls her his "c*m doll" in front of his friends and that he says that's just his friend's vibe. Poor girl is being gaslit to hell, I hope she gets out, this is disgusting.
🤮 He and his friends are poor excuses for human beings if demeaning their partners is their "vibe". Now if she asked to be called that, then that's fine. If any of this is real, OP needs therapy. Just based on the fact that she put up with being called that and staying engaged with this walking red flag.
Load More Replies... Las Vegas! You can see the Eiffel Tower, the Statue of Liberty, the Colosseum, the Statue of David, the Grand Canal, the Egyptian Pyramids in Las Vegas. And get married. He can invest your honeymoon money in a casino to buy his dream! Seriously, get out of there, dump the infant before he drives you into penury.
She should give him a Hot Wheels truck to share with his friends. It's basically the same.
You are 12 yrs younger, I was 16 yrs younger. I was you. 40 yrs ago. Trust me. Do not marry him. It took 10 yrs before the disrespect and other things took priority over me. You're lucky, he's showing you early, you can stop it now. It will not get better. He is showing you his best right now. You deserve Paris with a man who wants to enjoy it with you 100% hugs
Stories like this make me think there is a group of teens sitting around saying 'let's make up the most ridiculous s**t, post it on AITH and watch people lose their minds", because, is anyone really this stupid and in need of the opinion of others to decide?
People have admitted to doing exactly that, and apparently some do it every day.
Load More Replies... Your husband-to-be is definitely not husband material. How do I know? Well, same way as you: he cancels a trip you're looking forward to without consulting you, spends the money on something only he likes and then on top of all of this blames you for not being supportive! If you stay with that, well, guy, you will spend your life being blamed by him for everything under the sun. This trip-cancellation is a sign and it says "Get out NOW!"
My ex and I had planned a few days in London as I wanted to see a display of Egyption artifacts that were on show from Eygpt. Once in a life time. He suddenly turned round and told me that he hadn't booked the time off work and didn't want to go. I went on my own. Note I said my ex. Get rid of him. He is completly selfish. Easier to get rid of a fiance then a husband especially with a child.
Dump him and DO NOT marry him. He's selfish, greedy, immature. And sound take him to court, if need b be,, to get back every dime she contributed, ans start her life poverty again, much wiser. She young, she has plenty of time to find a good man...acreal man as opposed to self absorbed manchild. I ho0e sir see thing clearly before she marries it
It seems like this guy was so immature that he couldn’t get with a woman his own age, and now he’s treating you like an accessory that doesn’t have as much value as his truck. Please please please leave him.
Tell him to marry that monster truck and they can have their honeymoon in Epcot Centre Paris instead. SMH!!!
I love the idea of giving him a Tonka truck and telling him "It's basically the same thing."
You, at 23, are not old enough to get married, he, at 35, is too old to get married. Save your money and go to Paris alone or with a friend.
Was hoping for a response from OP, but the only comment from her I found was that when around his friends he calls her his "cụm doll." Absolutely repulsive. I hope she leaves. He wants an ornament, not a wife.
This is his warning shot; imagine going into labor alone, and other "Life Evevt"s"spent alone; because this Manchind has clearly told you his priorities. Get your money back, and end this sham!
That age gap is absolutely inappropriate! As a 34 year old man, I can ASSURE no man (or anyone) around my age has any business in getting romantically involved in people under 25. Our brain doesn't fully mature until around that age, and someone over 30 hasn't only gotten past that point, but has also lived years since gaining experience and stability. That age difference is inappropriate for the exact same reason why it's inappropriate for a 20 year old to date a 16 year old: because of the difference in the cognitive development, they can not be on equal footing in the relationship. The older has SO MUCH power over the younger. Period. (And I'm disgusted about the fact that that's exactly the reason why so many men are especially interested in women under 25.) And that's only the maturity reason: most people are at a very different point in their life too as a 20-something year-old versus in their 30's.
That's baloney. I know women in their 20's that have their older partners wrapped around their little finger. It's ageist and sexist to say that a woman can not wield as much personal power as a man. How would you feel if I tell you that at age 30, your brain is not fully matured either.
Load More Replies... No, the 12 year "age gap" isn't the most alarming part of this story. The most alarming part is the gap between his level of maturity and hers.
Take it from someone who tried for 25 long years to change this behavior in her EX husband, you won't change him, he is an immature child, do yourself the biggest favor and get out now. Don't waste your entire life like I did.
Anymore all these seem as if they’re written by Jr. High schoolers as larks or by AI. Don’t believe any of these anymore.
The courting behavior is ending and he’s starting to show his real self. This will not improve.
This is merely a preview of things to come. Bachelor party: booze flowing like the Nile River, strippers, lap dancing. (It won't stop with the lap dancing, trust me.) Wedding: his frat buddies trying to sober him up enough to walk down the aisle without collapsing; running extremely late. Can barely stand, slurs vows. Reception: when cutting the cake, he shoves the slice into his bride's face. He stumbles more than dances with his bride; he disappears to drink in the parking lot with his buddies. Honeymoon: what honeymoon? He's still hungover. How to cancel this scenario? Hand him his ring back, get EVERY cent you invested back, open a separate bank account, and go to Paris. Oh yes, tell HIM where HE can go--and how to get there.
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