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“AITA For Telling My Family The Real Reason My Mother And I Are Not Attending My Sister’s Wedding?”
I think that one of the most painful things in life is watching our parents grow old and live through the struggles that come with it. Despite these challenges, they insist on being a part of our milestones, as nobody can love us unconditionally as they do.
Speaking of old age, this woman had dementia, but remembered the important things. However, one of her children was shocked when the other one refused to invite their mom to her wedding. Moreover, she lied about the real reason, but the truth eventually came out and sparked drama!
More info: Reddit
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It can be difficult to watch our parents grow old, but that doesn’t mean we don’t see them at all
Image credits: The Yuri Arcurs Collection / Magnific (not the actual photo)
The poster stayed with their mom, who had dementia, but she was able to recognize that her children were important in her life
Image credits: freepik / Magnific (not the actual photo)
When the poster’s sister was getting married, she invited them, but not their mother, as she couldn’t bear to see her like that
Image credits: shurkin_son / Magnific (not the actual photo)
The poster backed out of the wedding, but they learned that their sister was lying to people and saying that their mom couldn’t travel, so she hadn’t invited her
Image credits: freepik / Magnific (not the actual photo)
They told their aunt the truth, so many family members also refused to go, and the poster’s sister accused them of ruining her wedding
Image credits: prostock-studio / Magnific (not the actual photo)
However, the poster was annoyed at their sister’s lies, as their mom had never displayed any problematic behavior while traveling
Image credits: Wild_Kitchen_2841
In fact, the mother and the poster had a trip planned to Europe soon, but they were still angry about the reason and the lies that their sister had used
In today’s sad tale, the original poster (OP) vents about their conflict with their sister. To give a bit of their background, the author stayed and cared for their mom, who had dementia. However, she still recognized her adult children as important people in her life, and remembered their birthdays and stuff. Moreover, the mother-child duo traveled often as the old woman loved it.
For her safety, the OP used a leash, and when their mom hugged strangers, they explained the reason why. Basically, they never had any major trouble while traveling. On to the main issue, which started when the author’s sister invited them to her wedding, but not their mother. When pushed for a reason, she stated that she couldn’t bear to see their mom in this condition.
Naturally, the poster was upset and refused to attend the wedding, and the bride was angry as she wanted them to walk her down the aisle. However, what really triggered the OP was when they spoke with their aunt and found out that the bride had lied to everyone. She told the family that her mom could no longer travel, so she wasn’t inviting her to the wedding.
The shocked author told their aunt the truth, but things escalated quickly as the woman posted about it on Facebook. Well, many people in the family started boycotting the wedding, and the OP got a furious call from their sister. Apparently, she felt that they had ruined her wedding again, but all that they had done was tell the truth, so they wondered whether they were a jerk.
Image credits: shurkin_son / Magnfiic(not the actual photo)
According to the WHO, in 2021, 57 million people had dementia worldwide. Every year, there are nearly 10 million new cases. Moreover, dementia is currently the seventh leading cause of fatalities and one of the major causes of disability and dependency among older people globally. However, it’s important to consider that this condition is not the same for everyone.
Studies highlight that “dementia involves a decline in the mental abilities you need for daily living. However, treatment can look different for each person because dementia affects everyone in different ways.” That’s what the poster was saying. Although their mom didn’t understand things, she was still happy to celebrate the milestones of someone important to her.
The sister lied about the whole thing and got mad when she had to face the consequences of her actions. Experts emphasize that some people refuse to admit they’re wrong, even in the face of overwhelming evidence, due to a fragile ego. That’s why they defend their actions and blame others. It seems like the bride knew she was doing something wrong, so she lied.
Some people argued that she had the right to decide who could attend her wedding and who couldn’t, but she shouldn’t have deceived the rest of the family. Some also felt that the OP’s reaction was extreme, but the author commented that they were just telling the truth. What do you think about the story? Also, whose side would you choose? Let us know your thoughts in the comments!
Most netizens sided with the poster as the sister lied, but some also felt that their reaction of boycotting the wedding was quite extreme
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Paul C 3 days ago
Seeing a loved one get worse and worse with dementia is really hard, but you suck it up and try your best to still connect to that person in the hope they have a good day and remember. Towards the end, my father thought I was his brother, but he still remembered my name (which is different from his brother's). Weirdly, he didn't recognise my mother (who visited him daily) or my sister (who visited every week), but did recognise me, who visited once a month (as I live much further away). It just shows you can't predict what someone with dementia will remember at any time, and why you have to put yourself through pain to try to give them a happy memory. After they are gone, you try to just remember the times before dementia stole them. It was years ago for my father and I do now mostly remember the good times, not the end times. I wouldn't respect myself if I had taken the easy route by not going to see him because of the pain it caused me every time.
Ms.GB 2 days ago
It's extremely hard. I didn't have the luxury of walking away because my mom needed someone to care for her, not that I would've walked away. Sometimes in life you just need to suck it up and put your feelings aside to help someone you love when they are at their worst.
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Tabitha 2 days ago (edited)
Just because someone is sick, whether temporary or terminal—-but especially terminal—-you are supposed to do your utmost to INCLUDE them in family events as much as possible. They won’t e here for the future ones, births of children and such, so at least have them at the wedding. Especially since OP’s Mom is not totally out of it, she’s still functional, though her short term memory is pretty much hazed over, and her long term memory is taking her back a few decades to her thirties. She still knows who she is, and who the majority of her family is as well, and can come to understand this is her GROWNUP daughter’s wedding. You know, too bad there’s someone with a terminal disease who isn’t matching your “aesthetic”, Bridezilla, but that person also happens to be your own MOTHER, ffs. Include her in your life, as well as your wedding pictures, because she won’t be there next year (mentally, if not physically).
Paul C 3 days ago
Seeing a loved one get worse and worse with dementia is really hard, but you suck it up and try your best to still connect to that person in the hope they have a good day and remember. Towards the end, my father thought I was his brother, but he still remembered my name (which is different from his brother's). Weirdly, he didn't recognise my mother (who visited him daily) or my sister (who visited every week), but did recognise me, who visited once a month (as I live much further away). It just shows you can't predict what someone with dementia will remember at any time, and why you have to put yourself through pain to try to give them a happy memory. After they are gone, you try to just remember the times before dementia stole them. It was years ago for my father and I do now mostly remember the good times, not the end times. I wouldn't respect myself if I had taken the easy route by not going to see him because of the pain it caused me every time.
Ms.GB 2 days ago
It's extremely hard. I didn't have the luxury of walking away because my mom needed someone to care for her, not that I would've walked away. Sometimes in life you just need to suck it up and put your feelings aside to help someone you love when they are at their worst.
Load More Replies... Tabitha 2 days ago (edited)
Just because someone is sick, whether temporary or terminal—-but especially terminal—-you are supposed to do your utmost to INCLUDE them in family events as much as possible. They won’t e here for the future ones, births of children and such, so at least have them at the wedding. Especially since OP’s Mom is not totally out of it, she’s still functional, though her short term memory is pretty much hazed over, and her long term memory is taking her back a few decades to her thirties. She still knows who she is, and who the majority of her family is as well, and can come to understand this is her GROWNUP daughter’s wedding. You know, too bad there’s someone with a terminal disease who isn’t matching your “aesthetic”, Bridezilla, but that person also happens to be your own MOTHER, ffs. Include her in your life, as well as your wedding pictures, because she won’t be there next year (mentally, if not physically).
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