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English is the most spoken language in the world with a mind-bending total of 1.348 billion speakers. So no language like it has ever dominated the world. The influence of English can be easily traced in the way its vocabulary has infiltrated so many other languages.

Researchers at the IULM University in Milan have noticed that, in the past 50 years, Italian syntax has shifted towards patterns that mimic English models, and that’s just one example. And thanks to the global influence of social media, younger generations from around the world are all speaking fluent English, mimicking insta-famous natives from across the sea like it's no big deal.

So it’s only fair to expect something from this language, right? For example, that it makes sense, is user-friendly and somewhat intuitive. And it kinda is, or is it? Well, you gotta draw your own conclusions after scrolling through some of the weirdest, most frustrating and pretty incredible English language quirks we collected below. From the cursed English pronunciation to the sentences that have 7 or more different meanings depending on the stressed word, this is a crazy class you wouldn’t like to have an exam in.

#1

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

quazza Report

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    #2

    English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

    death-limes Report

    Serial pacifist
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If the plural of goose is geese, should the plural of moose be meese?

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    English, the universal language of this world, is somewhat of a tough nut to crack for anyone who just got on board. The reason for this is the fact that this language is full of unique quirks and incredible oddities that, although challenging at first, give it character. For example, think of the sentence “I haven’t slept for ten days, because that would be too long” by Mitch Hedberg, who created this paraprosdokian, a phrase that figuratively defeats your expectation. The listener or reader will have to reframe or reinterpret the earlier clause. Coming from the Greek ‘para’ meaning ‘against’ and ‘prosdokia’ meaning ‘expectation,’ a paraprosdokian leaves the reader somewhat baffled by the conclusion of the sentence.

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    #4

    English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

    showerfeelings Report

    Tails
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I will one up you. Every E in Mercedes is pronounced differently.

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    #5

    English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

    shadowwraiths Report

    XSpooky_Mint
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I didn't kill your dog. I DIDN'T kill your dog. I didn't KILL your dog. I didn't kill YOUR dog. I didn't kill your DOG.

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    #6

    English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

    moist-grunge Report

    May
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    English is considered one of the easier languages to learn - it gets much more complicated out there people

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    Another confusing thing in the English language may be syntactic ambiguity. Here is an example: “I’m happy I’m a tennis player, and so is Albert.” It can mean four things: “I am happy Albert and I are both tennis players,” “I’m glad I'm a tennis player, and Albert is also a tennis player,” “Albert and I are both glad I’m a tennis player,” or “I am glad I’m a tennis player and Albert is also glad to be a tennis player.”

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    #7

    English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

    iowahawkblog Report

    May
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Try reading this out quickly..

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    #8

    English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

    allisonkollins Report

    Rose the Cook
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Both are rarely heard outside America except from people who think Americanisms are trendy.

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    #9

    English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

    Report

    Geronyms, brand names used to mean an everyday item, are also common in the English language. These terms have seeped into the general psyche and are used more often than their technical counterparts. We almost always ‘Google’ something instead of doing an ‘online search.’ In the US especially, for example, people often refer to cotton swabs as ‘Q-Tips’ after their brand name. Increasingly more popular nowadays is the process of ‘Photoshopping’ an image, after Adobe’s software of the same name.

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    Auto-antonyms are words with multiple meanings, two of which are antonyms of one another. Some are used in everyday language without our realizing it: the word ‘off’ is guilty of this. We can turn something off, meaning it will cease to be on. Conversely, the alarm can go off, meaning it has—rather bizarrely—just turned on. In more technical terms, a ‘strike’ can, in baseball terminology, mean a hit or a miss.

    #10

    English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

    chlothegod Report

    David
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And I read it the other way around in the second comment.

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    #11

    English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

    MikeFinesse_ Report

    El muerto
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would like to see a firefall and a waterfly

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    #12

    English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

    dajo42 Report

    Kira Okah
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    English has more than five vowels but only five letters to display them.

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    #13

    English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

    egberts Report

    Gay_Forg
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I SHOULDN'T BE ABLE TO READ THIS CORRECTLY AND UNDERSTAND IT

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    #14

    English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

    languageguru Report

    Melinda Baldwin
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The pronunciation. I simply had to say it out loud.

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    #15

    English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

    lisaquestions Report

    El muerto
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    when ask to use ones own words. I go; "emjuju wata wata majojo" because those are my own words.

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    #16

    English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

    Report

    Robert T
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There's a moose loose aboot this hoose.

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    #17

    English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

    questlon.tumblr.com Report

    #18

    English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

    trexis__ Report

    Cactus McCoy
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Easy. As an English/American native speaker go for german words like "Streichholzschachtel".

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    #19

    English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

    Real_jaeflex Report

    Serial pacifist
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Also, if a person from Poland is a Pole, then shouldn't a person from Holland be a Hole?

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    #20

    English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

    farmsuggestion Report

    NsG
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The "if" throws me. "You all would have" all contract in previously accepted ways. Same with "I would have". I have never seen "if" contracted into anything before. It would have been recognisable as Y'all'd've if I'd've. (Because I'd also like to point out that the apostrophe around I'd was in the wrong place)

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    #21

    English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

    Report

    #22

    English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

    invicxtus Report

    A B C
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm so glad "bae" hasn't stuck. Absolutely hated it.

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    #23

    English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

    DankertJackson Report

    Luther von Wolfen
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Sean" is Irish and the others are English versions.

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    #24

    English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

    rudy_betrayed Report

    Ian Milne
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Pony Bologna only rhymes if you pronounce Bologna incorrectly

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    #25

    English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

    PoweredByJollof Report

    #26

    English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

    Report

    Kira Okah
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't know about anyone else, bt seeing "nineth" makes me want to say it as nin-eth with two syllables. Maybe that is why ninth eventually beat nineth, for a time both versions were correct.

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    #28

    English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

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    Monday
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Huh...TIL that intimate was also a verb. Thank you random sentences.

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    #29

    English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

    livemulticulturually Report

    Allan Breum
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Kowtow is technically not an English word, its an anglicized version of a Chinese words.

    A B C
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Queue is French, gargantuan probably has Greek roots, so... That's what language does. Adapt and evolve.

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    Robert T
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Antidisestablishmentarianism? Discombobulated? Triskaidekaphobia?

    Kimi Tomminello
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lol have you been brushing up on your spelling bee words 😉 j/k discombobulated is one if my favorite words and it learned it because of spelling bees.

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    Kira Okah
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    All of those look like perfectly serviceable words to me.

    Jon Steensen
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    my favorite English word is swap. How can you have a word that sounds like pulling out a boot that was stuck in mud?

    Alan Gale
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My lasting memory of my first time at the Glastonbury festival, is the sound of many dozens of boots, sandles, trainers etc, being sucked out of the mud!

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    BasedWang
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ayyyy I actually used kerfuffle in a sentence the other day

    Richard Salisbury
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm pretty certain kerfuffle is onomatopoeic...

    Brian Bennett
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You know the English language is a bitch if you are a poor speller!

    Huddo's sister
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And if you have only heard a word in a particular accent. I confused my teacher in grade 5 by writing 'smornen'. The sentence was 'I did that the smornen' It should have been 'I did that in the morning' The Australian 'country' accent is quite lazy :)

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    Helen Ovtroy
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Five guesses why this person capitalized sponge but not any other word in the entire post, including English

    Lori
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why is sponge capitalized? Just sayin'.

    Paulio
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why is colonel pronounced kernel? Like why

    Skylar Jaxx
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Colonel... The one word in English that will NEVER make sense to me

    Printerman
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I mean, they're all made-up words anyway.

    Karen Lyon
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For a long time, I struggled with "people". I knew the "o" was there, but didn't understand WHY, and always wanted to put it first, like the "i before e, except after c" rule. LOL. I don't know the origins, but I doubt that the presence of that "o" would make sense if I did!

    Sam Moor
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It took me a long time to learn why I never heard anybody say the word colonel while never seeing the word curnel written.

    Dee Stern
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And why is there no word that rhymes with orange?

    Abby Parker
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Whenever I write the word triple, I always think it’s wrong because ripple has the double p in the middle 😆

    ThEboRedEsTpANdA
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    thorough especially always looks wrong

    Debi Jones
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Queue looks french and isn't used in the USA

    Mine Truly
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    One Narwhal Err Aisle Zamboni Wednesday

    Rebecca Flanagan
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Spatula. Golf. <—— Say them aloud. Gah!

    Claire Armstrong
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I actually do this a lot lol. Think of a word and keep repeating it until it ends up no longer sounding like a real word and then I have to ask my partner if it actually is a real word or not. I get funny looks from my man a lot!

    IzaCoder
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m somewhat surprised that nobody has mentioned “cwm!” It’s an actual word, and according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary (www.merriam-webster.com), it is “a deep steep-walled basin on a mountain usually forming the blunt end of a valley.” Link to definition: https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/cirque

    moose man
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    All the time when I’m looking at a mono font and a non mono font. The characters just don’t look right anymore if you know what I mean

    Brian bell
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes. Sometimes I find I accidentally misspell a word because it simply looks wrong when I see it written out.

    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How does a word look "fake"?

    sirfryingpan
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i do that all the time and then my really irrational anxiety gets kicked up to max

    memyselfandI
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Room. I had to stop reading a book once for like ten minutes just staring at the word room.

    Robert Trebor
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    English steals from any other language anything it wants to.

    Eb
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    English does nothing! People bring words with them when they migrate, or borrow and adapt them.

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    Israel Martinez
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Reminds me of the young on line at KFC looking at the menu and being interested in the "co-lo-nell's" special ...

    Suhaira tasni
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    why is colonel spelled as cornel and not COLONEL?

    Kira Okah
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It comes from "columnua" for the spelling, the pronunciation from obsolete Old French "coronel". "The Normans" is most likely the reason why.

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    peter howard
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And no because I'm English and know the words...

    Monday
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I also know the words, but there are times when you look at them and go "I know that's right....but it looks wrong".

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    #30

    English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

    fairyminas Report

    Cactus McCoy
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Because a mussel basically is only muscle.

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    #31

    English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

    maddylizy Report

    Summer Mason
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Trying to teach my daughter to read and write is hard. She has to sound out her words when reading. But the sounds the words make are not the same as spelling them on paper. 🙃

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    #32

    English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

    ohheykenz123 Report

    Kira Okah
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Different words developing the same spelling over time. Bass (base) is from Mediaeval Latin, bass (fish) is from a Germanic root.

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    #33

    English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

    nause0us Report

    Devil's Advocate
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Because Americans use Z for S, where the English use S for S

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    #34

    English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

    alexkoford Report

    Rebecca Bailey
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Arkansas and Kansas didnt come from English. Arkansas is a French corruption of the pronunciation of a Quapaw word meaning "The Down River People" Kansas is named after the Kansa people. Almost all of the states names came from native words, or French or Spanish corruptions of those native words.

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    #35

    English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

    PatrickReza Report

    NsG
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Because it relates to gratitude, not greatitude? (Very much a guess, I haven't had a brew yet)

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    #37

    English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

    andrea_sarn Report

    A B C
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's to distinguish the bomb before from the boom afterwards.

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