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“Pack Your Bags And Get Out”: Woman Reveals She’s Leaving In 5 Days For A Solo Trip, Partner Is Not Having It
Relationship red lines tend to be pretty subjective, some folks labor along in horrible, toxic situations, while others dump folks left and right. There are perhaps no right answers, because it is the sort of thing everyone needs to discuss with their partner. But therein lies the trap, sometimes people prefer to avoid discussing anything with their loved ones, to everyone’s detriment.
A netizen asked the internet if they were wrong for both dumping and kicking out their girlfriend after she announced, without warning, that she was about to embark on a solo backpacking trip. We reached out to the person who made the post via private message and will update the article when they get back to us.
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Most folks don’t like it when their partners keep secrets
Image credits: V1ktoria / Envato (not the actual photo)
But one netizen dumped their GF over an unannounced solo trip to Latin America
Image credits: varyapigu / Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: ohnsgaythrowaway
Everyone has their own breaking point in a relationship
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Breaking up is always a serious measure, but there are occasions where the “reasons” for such drastic action do not appear sufficient justification for the repercussions that ensue. Reducing a partner to homelessness due to an unannounced solo vacation is a potent illustration of this disparity. At worst, not discussing a personal vacation could be a sign of bad communication or mismatched expectations regarding openness, but it is far from the type of betrayal or risk that typically calls for the most extreme of reactions. Reducing a disagreement over disclosure to taking away shelter enters into an area where the penalty far exceeds the act.
Solo travel can be vastly different based on the individual and circumstances. Some individuals just must have some time by themselves in order to recharge, others want to go after things that their spouse may not enjoy, and most often the exclusion is simply a result of forgetfulness and not something secretive. Even if the silence between them hurts, it does not necessarily mean unfaithfulness or a breakdown in trust. In healthy dynamics, such a time is a time for dialogue, a time to ask why the information wasn’t disclosed, how each views independence, and what both require in terms of future transparency.
For its part, making a partner homeless makes an appeal to expectations into a crisis that has real material consequences. Housing is a basic requirement, and depriving someone of it turns what would otherwise have been a matter of interpersonal conflict into an act of destabilization. It promises not just to display anger but also a readiness to exert power in a way that privileges punishment over care.
Healthier relationships will probably be based on the law of proportion, the belief that a small row should not lead to long-term damage. When someone crosses the line beyond what the situation can reasonably justify, it can uncover a dynamic of retaliation over empathy.
Kicking a person out of a home without warning is toxic
Image credits: A. C. / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
There are disagreements about autonomy and honesty in all relationships. Some individuals desire near-total honesty, while others are more discreet or playful. Such discrepancies are not always destructive, but they must be negotiated continuously. The healthiest most often than not requires compromise, setting more definitive boundaries around when plans are to be revealed, or agreeing that solo time and solo outings are necessary as long as both parties feel valued. These are painful conversations to have, but they’re far preferable to decisions that permanently shatter the relationship.
Breaking up sometimes is the right choice if values and expectations simply can’t be reconciled. But even in that case, coupling immediate homelessness with the decision makes the conclusion unnecessarily merciless. Ending and separating already possess sentimental weight, depriving one individual of safety for a simple vetoed visit crosses into disproportionate measure. A relationship must never be a space where miniature breakdowns of transactions can result in life-altering sentences.
Ultimately, the matter isn’t so much whether a lone trip should have been revealed as it is one of proportionality. Partnerships are formed not merely through honesty, but through vision, the capacity to balance an action against its effect and react in measured terms, not explosive ones. If the response to a small action is proportionally disastrous, it says more about the health of the relationship than the trip.
Some thought it was reasonable to dump her
Others thought it was an overreaction to make her homeless
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What do you think ?
Lyone Fein 3 months ago
I wonder why she felt the need to hide this trip from him? Is it because he is so controlling, or is it because she no longer wants to be in the relationship? We really don’t have enough information.
Nea 3 months ago
I always feel these AITA posts show us only one side of the story. I dont know what made the woman want to do this, its likely she has a valid reason.
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Alexandra 3 months ago
If 'living life to its fullest' requires being away from your boyfriend you obviously have no business being together at all.
Emilu 3 months ago
Eh... this just leaves a sour taste in my mouth. I get the OP being pissed that his ex kept the trip from him -- especially if she'd been planning it for a while -- but making her homeless because she organised a trip behind his back seems a bit rich (read: controlling, manipulative, etc). Overall I think it's best they've discovered their incompatibilities before they were more attached.
BeesEelsAndPups 3 months ago
Agreed. ESH in my opinion. Springing a months long trip on your partner (and backpacking across South America would take months, not weeks) three days before leaving is reason to break up. Being lied to for months is reason to break up. Kicking her out of "his' apartment is BS though. Whatever agreement they had about the rent, she lived there too. That said, she's leaving in less than a week, so she'll have a few months to figure out where she'll live. Who knows, she might just stay. We have a beautiful continent.
Load More Replies...
Jay Cee 3 months ago (edited)
So we get to hear what a wonderful guy he is, how he "allows" her so much, how she lives rent free but how about the other side of the coin? Perhaps she was feeling trapped and knew, if she told him about the trip in advance, that he would throw a hissy fit which he did, in fact, do. Personally I think she'll be better off without him. Hope she enjoys the trip and sends him lots of postcard telling him how wonderful life is . . . without him!
Tabitha 3 months ago
Sometimes people in relationships take separate vacations. Being together 24/7/365 for a number of years can wear on you, and you crave some “Me” time without your partner around. It’s not at all that you have fallen out of love with them, it’s just that you need some time to yourself without them around. OP sounds like he’s f*****g exhausting to be around, and I don’t blame the woman for wanting time away from him, especially if he consistently reminds her that he’s paying for everything in what should be THEIR home, not just his. She should’ve been considered his partner, but he apparently treated her like a lodger he gets to sleep with. She’s better off out of there and away from him.
Load More Replies... 
Lee Gilliland 3 months ago
I was agreeing with him until he said "allowed ". She is a fully grown woman and he is NOT har parent.
Ace 3 months ago (edited)
There is obviously something more to this than has been posted. She seems to have felt a need to get away from him, and there is probably a reason for this that he's not saying (or doesn't realise himself). I hope she had already made plans to leave his home, but may have been caught out by it, and of course it's a complete AH move on his part to demand she packs her bag and leaves like that. Through that he's inadvertently showing us his dark side that he's not mentioned in words. Definite YTA for that.
Apatheist Account2 3 months ago
One can understand a bf being concerned about a gf travelling solo anywhere, but South America has some particularly dodgy spots. That said, the fact that she hid it from him means the relationship was already over. They probably forgotten it in the intervening 6 years.
Lyone Fein 3 months ago
I wonder why she felt the need to hide this trip from him? Is it because he is so controlling, or is it because she no longer wants to be in the relationship? We really don’t have enough information.
Nea 3 months ago
I always feel these AITA posts show us only one side of the story. I dont know what made the woman want to do this, its likely she has a valid reason.
Load More Replies... Alexandra 3 months ago
If 'living life to its fullest' requires being away from your boyfriend you obviously have no business being together at all.
Emilu 3 months ago
Eh... this just leaves a sour taste in my mouth. I get the OP being pissed that his ex kept the trip from him -- especially if she'd been planning it for a while -- but making her homeless because she organised a trip behind his back seems a bit rich (read: controlling, manipulative, etc). Overall I think it's best they've discovered their incompatibilities before they were more attached.
BeesEelsAndPups 3 months ago
Agreed. ESH in my opinion. Springing a months long trip on your partner (and backpacking across South America would take months, not weeks) three days before leaving is reason to break up. Being lied to for months is reason to break up. Kicking her out of "his' apartment is BS though. Whatever agreement they had about the rent, she lived there too. That said, she's leaving in less than a week, so she'll have a few months to figure out where she'll live. Who knows, she might just stay. We have a beautiful continent.
Load More Replies... Jay Cee 3 months ago (edited)
So we get to hear what a wonderful guy he is, how he "allows" her so much, how she lives rent free but how about the other side of the coin? Perhaps she was feeling trapped and knew, if she told him about the trip in advance, that he would throw a hissy fit which he did, in fact, do. Personally I think she'll be better off without him. Hope she enjoys the trip and sends him lots of postcard telling him how wonderful life is . . . without him!
Tabitha 3 months ago
Sometimes people in relationships take separate vacations. Being together 24/7/365 for a number of years can wear on you, and you crave some “Me” time without your partner around. It’s not at all that you have fallen out of love with them, it’s just that you need some time to yourself without them around. OP sounds like he’s f*****g exhausting to be around, and I don’t blame the woman for wanting time away from him, especially if he consistently reminds her that he’s paying for everything in what should be THEIR home, not just his. She should’ve been considered his partner, but he apparently treated her like a lodger he gets to sleep with. She’s better off out of there and away from him.
Load More Replies... Lee Gilliland 3 months ago
I was agreeing with him until he said "allowed ". She is a fully grown woman and he is NOT har parent.
Ace 3 months ago (edited)
There is obviously something more to this than has been posted. She seems to have felt a need to get away from him, and there is probably a reason for this that he's not saying (or doesn't realise himself). I hope she had already made plans to leave his home, but may have been caught out by it, and of course it's a complete AH move on his part to demand she packs her bag and leaves like that. Through that he's inadvertently showing us his dark side that he's not mentioned in words. Definite YTA for that.
Apatheist Account2 3 months ago
One can understand a bf being concerned about a gf travelling solo anywhere, but South America has some particularly dodgy spots. That said, the fact that she hid it from him means the relationship was already over. They probably forgotten it in the intervening 6 years.
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