Nailing the marriage game is hard, no doubt about it. About 9% of 30-year-olds have already ended one marriage, reports Business Insider. The national divorce rate in 2018 was 2.9 per 1,000 of the US population, which may not look so bad until you see that the marriage rate was 6.5 per 1,000. To put it simply, there’s a not-so-tiny chance it won’t work out for a large part of newlyweds.

And people on Reddit decided to find out what it is that pushes people over the brink in marriage. Two threads initiated by redditors u/dankph and u/KlyonneSpencer popped up asking divorce lawyers about the most ridiculous and outrageous reasons that their clients filed for divorce. And oh boy, you can't tell us you saw this coming. From literally crappy reasons to simply being too good-looking, these excuses will make you wonder what the heck these love birds were thinking.

#1

I had two couples come to me.

They had been friends for nigh on 15 years.

Husband A decided he liked Wife B more than Wife A. Wife A decided she likes Husband B more than Husband A.

The reverse was also true, and Husband B preferred Wife A, Wife B preferred Husband A.

The couples had near identical assets in terms of value. They came to me all together, and I drafted two sets of paperwork. Two default judgment hearings were set on the same day. The judge signed all the papers the same day.

A week after that, they all went to a JP and remarried. The husbands swapped houses and they all went about their lives exactly as they had the week before, but each slightly happier.

atonyatlaw Report

Ani Archeron
Community Member
1 week ago

you could tell me this was the plot to a bad holiday rom-com and i'd believe you

View More Replies...
View more comments
#2

My cousin divorced his wife because, after his wife's father murdered two people in a robbery-gone-wrong, she defended him and harassed the victim's family over Facebook

s40e54bf96 Report

Ilir Ajdini
Community Member
1 week ago

That is a good reason to divorce, in my opinion

View More Replies...
View more comments
#3

My client was the outrageous one, so my heart went out to his poor wife. He had OCD which manifested primarily financially, so he made their lives a penny-pinching hell. Examples: he was obsessed with avoiding unnecessary driving (wear and tear on the car, gas expenses), so he cut the whole family’s hair at home and never let them eat at a restaurant or go to the movies. Weirdest of all: he kept one toilet paper roll on him at all times and you had to get one square from him before you could go to the bathroom. He never gave more than one square. Wife finally got fed up and left him when 1) he gave her bangs during an in-home haircut and 2) their daughter was so traumatized by the toilet paper thing they couldn’t potty train her.

Julietcaravello1 Report

logical fallacy
Community Member
1 week ago

He needs help.

View More Replies...
View more comments

Bored Panda contacted Evan D. Schein, a partner and head litigator at Berkman Bottger Newman & Schein LLP law firm based in Manhattan, New York to find out more about why people do get divorced. Evan has litigated matrimonial matters in the Supreme and Family Courts of Manhattan, Kings, Queens, Nassau, and more.

Evan told us that throughout his career as a family law attorney, he has seen many different reasons people decide to end their marriage. “I have an inside look into all the reasons people get divorced—affairs, financial infidelity, lack of communication, growing apart, lack of connection; to name a few.” 

However, one particular reason still haunts him. “Out of all the reasons I have heard, a grudge years later over the wedding table seating chart still stands out for me,” he said.

#4

I do my student practice at my family's law firm. Young woman filed for a divorce because her husband drank ONE beer during weekdays after a day of work. The guy wasn't violent, doing drugs, or anything like that. He was just a normal, polite guy who liked to have a cold one after 10 hr shift. They are very good couple and argue so rarely that this woman's friends told her to write down everything he did to upset her and re-read it every day, so she had reasons to be angry about.

My mom (lawyer) set the woman straight, told her he' just doing what all guys do and to find herself new friends instead of ones ready to sabotage their marriage.

thefammefatale Report

Rex the Rat
Community Member
1 week ago

It's a good thing your mom wasn't in it just for the money and was able to help people

View More Replies...
View more comments
#5

Divorced guy here. I divorced my ex-wife because she decided to be a ‘Super Christian’ that spent hours each day lying on the floor speaking in tongues. Also she would have random conversations with former deceased relatives while doing mundane daily activities. The final straw was when I came home from work and my 2 yr old daughter was in the fireplace eating ashes two feet away from her while she laid on the ground chanting and speaking in her made up language.

bigmikesbeingnice Report

Dorothy Parker
Community Member
1 week ago

I hope Dad got full custody. And a jar of Holy Water.

View More Replies...
View more comments
#6

He got drunk at the wedding, she did not like it, and decided to divorce him right after the Honeymoon (which she went to without him).

Moreover, this was all an elaborate scheme of divorce-robbery, because the guy was loaded, and so was his entire family....

They were loaded because they were a family of EXCELLENT lawyers, and he was a third generation lawyer, with all the smarts and experience of his predecessors combined.

Lets just say it did not go well for her.

Freevoulous Report

Mainecoonsandhuskies
Community Member
1 week ago

Damn this could be made into a movie

View More Replies...
View more comments

These days, as we’re living in a time of crisis and isolation, everyone is experiencing tremendous stress. “There is so much unknown and uncertainty” that Evan is convinced that “this reality and these feelings will have a profound effect on marriages and relationships.”

The head litigator said, “I fully expect there will be a large increase in divorce filings.” And for those individuals who were already contemplating the idea of divorce and on the fence, “the current situation and this new way of life may very well push them in the divorce direction,” Evan explained.

#7

I knew a couple who got divorced after the wife walked in on her husband who was rubbing poop from their baby's diaper all over his body...

clairew469 Report

('-')/ neeta ('-')/
Community Member
1 week ago

What the actual hell

View More Replies...
View more comments
#8

Paralegal. A couple got divorced over a cat. Wife called cat Snowball because of white fur and only wanted the cat to eat wet food or chicken breast. Husband called cat Lily again because of white fur and believed it should only eat dry food. These two argued for a year over custody of the cat but did not give a s**t about their human kids aged 15 months, 4 years, and 6 years old.

sxcamaro Report

Luisa Vasconcelos
Community Member
1 week ago

Wow, that's sad.

View more comments
#9

One of my coworkers has been married seven times. One time she divorced a guy because he was 'too good-looking' and she couldn't trust him. Another time she divorced a man because he came home with the wrong brand of hotdogs that she told him to buy. I wish I was making this up

r4092d Report

Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
1 week ago

Talk about high maintenance.

View More Replies...
View more comments
#10

I knew someone who broke off an engagement because her fiancé kept pulling pranks on her, like buying fake lottery tickets and stuff. In her eyes, he was humiliating her in front of friends and family. It was almost like he was running social experiments on her to see how she'd react

sierraclouse Report

Luisa Vasconcelos
Community Member
1 week ago

Nowadays pranks are becoming very mean. Like cut the hair of the wife and this kind of things.

View More Replies...
View more comments
#11

"I didn't like her anymore" - 2 days after being married.

MaddenMan73 Report

Ilir Ajdini
Community Member
1 week ago

That escalated quickly

View More Replies...
View more comments
#12

My douche cousin told his wife she had three chances to give him a son. Daughter was born first. Strike one. Son was born second. Then they find out the boy cant eat gluten. So my cousin divorced her and has made zero effort to see his kids.

erfilmvictim Report

nanashi
Community Member
1 week ago

did he know that the gender of the fetus depends on which sex chromosome the sperm was carrying???

View More Replies...
View more comments
#13

Friend of mine divorced his then wife because she would only speak French when her family would come over. She was Spanish, as was her family... To add, her family spoke English, French and Spanish, he could only speak Spanish and English, she got bored of being married to him, her family basically talked s**t about him whilst he was there, was only when he recorded a conversation whilst they where there and got it translated he found out what was going on.

StanMarsh01 Report

Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
1 week ago

I would have been suspicious from the beginning when she started talking french, obviously hiding things or talking shit (as you found out).

View More Replies...
View more comments
#14

My client divorced her husband because he insisted on bringing his mother on their honeymoon. The reason? Because his mother was STILL breastfeeding him. Yes, the husband, a grown man, was still breastfeeding

omgiscarolein Report

Monika Soffronow
Community Member
1 week ago

I very much doubt that this is true.

View More Replies...
View more comments
#15

Colleague handled a case where money was not an issue but the kids were. Neither parent wanted them

virtuallEeverywhere Report

('-')/ neeta ('-')/
Community Member
1 week ago

What the hell. That's so frikking messed up. Hope the kids are in the hands of REAL parents now.

View more comments
#16

I worked as a paralegal for a divorce lawyer. Case analysis was one of my main responsibilities.

I s**t you not.

A recently married couple (of 2 years) broke it off because the husband would not stop feeding the dog. The dog got outrageously fat.

Apparently she saw connection between the dog and future children.

Bing-Wallace Report

Noez 🇸🇪
Community Member
1 week ago

Poor dog!

View More Replies...
View more comments
#17

One of our consults came in because his wife had been proposed to by one of those online scam people posing as the Prince of Turkey or something. She fell for it and was going to give him $45,000 and move to Turkey to marry him

Alyssa Galloway Report

Monika Soffronow
Community Member
1 week ago

He was lucky to find out before she had sent the scammer everything!

View more comments
#18

Not a divorce lawyer, but got out of my first marriage becuase shortly after we got married he decided he didn't like the way I talked, and asked me not to talk when we were out in company unless I "could talk straight."

Tootlies Report

Rosemari Ferreira Gebbran
Community Member
1 week ago

Happy that you walked away!

View More Replies...
View more comments
#19

I knew someone who got divorced the same day they got married. The groom was dancing with his sister at the reception, and the bride asked to cut in. His sister tried to punch her in the face but missed and punched the bride’s sister. All hell broke loose. The night ended with the bride asking the groom to choose between her or his sisters. He chose his sisters

Carolina Rodriguez de Saucedo Report

Pamela24
Community Member
1 week ago

So many sisters I'm getting dizzy.

View More Replies...
View more comments
#20

Paralegal here.

Still remember an early case i worked on, man divorced his wife for her Bingo Addiction. 10 to 12 times per week she went to bingo. She was 82 he was 86.



But the all time greatest. two 20 somethings, they were irreconcilable because he kept smoking her weed stash when she wasnt home.

DRAGONPUTZ Report

RJ
Community Member
1 week ago

awww

View more comments
See Also on Bored Panda
#21

Easy.

She spent $42,000 on psychic hotlines. Notable, she then wouldn’t accept any of our offers, and I continuously asked her lawyer to provide counter-offers...shouldn’t her psychic have told her how the case would turn out?!? Lol.

jdoc1121 Report

Monika Soffronow
Community Member
1 week ago

Totally believable. Since when are people who go to psychics equipped with any common sense?

View More Replies...
View more comments
#22

My dad was a divorce lawyer. He had a client who wanted to divorce her husband for 2 reasons:

1. He did not have enough hair on his chest.

2. He did not drive fast enough.

Keep in mind this was in the 70's when chest hair was a bit more important.

Bodhi_ZA Report

nanashi
Community Member
1 week ago (edited)

I'm honestly glad I wasn't alive in the 70's, it sounds like a very weird era for many reasons lol

View More Replies...
View more comments
#23

She was kidnapped in Mexico and he refused to pay ransom. Eventually her family managed to pay and she was left on the side of the road. It is not outrageous as in petty but outrageous as how absurd that is.

mennej Report

Jon S.
Community Member
1 week ago

If we all agreed to never pay a ransom, kidnap for ransom would end overnight. It is why it is illegal to pay in many countries. And why many authorities advise you don't pay. Although, I realise the difficulty of putting that into practice when it is your own loved one on the line.

View More Replies...
View more comments
#24

Not a lawyer, but did spend six months costing Legal Aid cases for solicitors in the early 90s. This included many divorces.

The most notable one was a woman divorcing her husband because he discovered he could talk to the dead on their honeymoon and then later spent all their money on spiritualist groups.

That wasn't what made it notable. During the divorce, the woman left the house. At some point her husband approached her and claimed that as he was letting the house fall into ruin, it would be better for both of them if he sold the house and split the proceeds with her. She agreed to this without consulting her solicitor.

A few weeks later the husband gave her £5. She asked what it was for. It was her share of the house. He'd sold it to his sister for £10 and kept living there. When she went to complain to her solicitors, she found they'd done the conveyancing for him. He'd deliberately used his wife's divorce solicitors and nobody at the firm had realised.

not_the_artist Report

Kathy Baylis
Community Member
1 week ago

Wouldn’t that be just cause for a legal malpractice suit?

View more comments
#25

Wasn't the reason but did happen during the course of the divorce. Neither side would follow the court orders. When they had to go back to court they were fighting over a pistol and the man's grandmother's bowls. I assumed for weeks that these bowls were some sort of heirloom or expensive china. When they finally brought the bowls in to swap they were f**king tupperware.

Carcharodons Report

Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
1 week ago

Well Tupperware is expensive.

View More Replies...
View more comments
#26

My friend divorced her husband because she read his text messages and saw that he was talking crap about her dogs to his friends. Her DOGS

missstabby Report

Monika Soffronow
Community Member
1 week ago

'Tis a good thing that she does not understand what her dogs say about her to their friends when they meet in the park.

View more comments
#27

I deal with a lot of divorces at work. I once reviewed a complaint for divorce because the wife always left poop stains in the toilet.

jessicag67 Report

Hello it Smee
Community Member
1 week ago

That is really shitty

View More Replies...
View more comments
#28

My friend's sister was a strict vegetarian. One night her husband gave her fish and meat, but she thought it was a meat substitute. When she found out it was real meat, she divorced him

rayabhuiyan5 Report

nanashi
Community Member
1 week ago

if the meat was given in malice or "pranks", the divorce is pretty much justified in my book.

View More Replies...
View more comments
#29

I had a client file for divorce because every morning his wife would ask him how he takes his coffee. EVERY morning for seven years

blanksmitty Report

Dorothy Parker
Community Member
1 week ago

Did he discuss this with her? Might be a clinical issue.

View More Replies...
View more comments
#30

Was a loud chewer at the dinner table. He developed a complex & literally needed out as he couldn't bear to eat with her.

TISM_riverphoenix Report

Vincent Philippart
Community Member
1 week ago

For some reason I can understand. I cannot bear people eating noisily or showing the inside of their mouths. Literally cannot be in the room. My friends and relatives know: I will train their kids to eat properly (wether they like it or not), or we cannot have a meal together anymore. Most parents are actually glad. It seems it's one of those things you wish you had the energy to teach your kids, but is just not high enough on the list of priorities.

View More Replies...
View more comments

Note: this post originally had 84 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.

See Also on Bored Panda