Woman Goes Viral With 7.7M Views When She Shares That Her Date Called Her An Uber To Go Home After He Saw How She Was Dressed
InterviewTo leave an unforgettable first impression can take a lot of preparation and time. Having this in mind, a lot of people like to sway others by showing up with their perfect appearance. Nice outfit and good makeup are some of the things that can help to make an impression on the person in mind. Very often this applies to going on a date, because everyone wants to look their best when they are about to meet someone who could potentially become their significant other. Of course, looking your best does not always indicate that you want to show others how good you look. A lot of people like to express who they are through their appearance by wearing intricate clothes and accessories and having eye-catching makeup on.
But it seems that sometimes even the closest people to you can have a problem with that. At least that is what happened to TikToker Nikki Jabs who decided to share her dating experience with her followers.
More Info: TikTok
A woman on TikTok decided to share her dating experience with her followers
Image credits: nikki.jabs
The woman, who is known for sharing her experiences as she lives and travels in a van, also shared some videos of her dating life. This is when “Greg,” her date, was introduced to her followers. Nikki was kind with details in her story and it seemed that everything was going really well for them. Her new date was very kind and well mannered, he even asked Nikki to stay at his place because of how much fun they had together.
All was well until one evening, the woman shared on her TikTok an incident that happened on the same night. The couple had plans to go out for dinner and then continue their night by going to a grand opening of the retail company were Greg works. Once they were on their way to the restaurant, the man kept staring at Nikki, which made her ask what is wrong. At first Greg told her that there was nothing wrong, but as the conversation continued, he made it clear that he didn’t want Nikki to go to this event looking the way she did that night. The woman suggested that she go and change to which he said that this whole situation made him feel “bad.”
Everything seemed to be going really well between the couple until one evening the woman shared a video after she was sent home by her date
Image credits: nikki.jabs
Nikki also revealed that it wasn’t the first time that Greg had commented on her looks by telling her that she didn’t need to wear makeup or that she was overdressed. Having this issue in mind, Nikki then told Greg that either he should be fine with her going to the event dressed the way she wanted to, or she wouldn’t go at all. The man then offered to call her an Uber.
This situation reached the point where the woman went back to his house and took all her stuff with her back to her van while he was out at the event. However, Nikki had to go back to his place one more time because she forgot her laptop. The woman shared that Greg tried to get her back by apologizing and asking her to stay, but she knew that it all was over.
The man decided that his date wasn’t wearing appropriate clothing, so he got her an Uber to take her home instead of them going to an event together
Image credits: nikki.jabs
Image credits: nikki.jabs
Once Nikki shared this story on social media, she received a lot of attention from people online. A lot of TikTok users were glad that she got out of this relationship early because this man was showing signs of some pretty toxic behavior that would’ve only become worse with time. Of course, there were some users who thought that the woman brought this situation on herself. The woman herself was open to the discussion and was glad that she was able to end this relationship without it escalating further.
After her first video, the woman sat down and explained the whole situation that happened that evening
Image credits: nikki.jabs
Image credits: nikki.jabs
The TikToker showed what she was wearing that evening and what made her date question her outfit choices
Image credits: nikki.jabs
Bored Panda connected Nikki to find out more about the situation and how she feels about it all. The woman shared that “the attention that the story has garnered has definitely kept my mind off of the fact that I just went through a breakup. It has been a whirlwind of a week for me. I am happy to have ended things sooner rather than later as his behavioral pattern of comments about my appearance progressed over time.” Nikki also shared that she cut all ties with the guy, despite him trying to apologize and get back together.
A lot of people became invested in this story, sharing their own opinion about the situation. Nikki revealed that what surprised her most was that “SO many women not only experienced this type of behaviors from this exes, but got ‘trapped’ into a tumultuous relationship for many years with their partners.” The woman was happy that she got the chance to get away from this early in the relationship.
The woman was furious with his actions, stressing that it wasn’t the first time he had commented on her looks
Image credits: nikki.jabs
For those who might find themselves in a similar situation, the woman’s advice is “to accept any compliments from your partner about your looks. If your partner says that you are beautiful without makeup, be flattered. But pay attention to comments that begin to compare, suggest, and request to change your appearance. This is a very slippery slope and if you begin to change your appearance based on the subtle comments of your partner, it’s time to reevaluate his or her intentions.” Nikki also stressed that communication is the key, so you need to speak about what bothers you. This is that she did but apparently it didn’t have an impact on Greg’s behavior. “If your partner truly loves you, they will accept you for who you are and how you choose to present yourself,” added Nikki.
The woman confronted her date with an ultimatum after which he asked if he could call an Uber for her
Image credits: nikki.jabs
The woman also added a comment on what she now thinks about her date: “I don’t think ‘Greg’ is a bad person. I think ‘Greg’ made a mistake. I really cared for him and I still do. I also don’t believe I was a victim; I believe I was the subject of a poor decision. I hope that he was able to learn from this experience to be a better romantic partner in the future and know that you should accept your partner unconditionally.”
Every situation teaches us and provides us with some new experiences. The TikToker also shared that “one important thing I took away from this experience is that if you choose to speak publicly about an important experience like this, many people will learn from your experience. I will continue to document parts of my life to anyone who wants to listen hoping that I may help someone someday if they find themselves in a similar situation.”
You can watch the full video down below!
@nikki.jabsReply to @kevinkreates_♬ Night Fever – From “Saturday Night Fever” Soundtrack – Bee Gees
People online were telling her that it was right for her to leave the man as he was showing some signs of abuse
2Mviews
Share on FacebookYeah, like the fact that that's not even a crop top, but a bandeau (she has to pull it down to make it look like a crop top), and he works for a retail company, and had told her it was casual.
Load More Replies...The comments calling the guy abusive are really exaggerated I think. People get nervous about their work and what their superiors think. He panicked a little at the crop top. Probably he went and saw other people dressed that way and realized he'd made a mistake. Doesn't mean they're meant to be together. As for comments about unlike you natural etc. We've had a decade or so of fighting back against the pressure for women to always look perfect and done up. This guy probably does like the girl exactly how she looks without all the effort which is sweet. When he is pushing it on her I think it is the result of growing up during that fight and not realizing that many women like to get dressed up. We are now at the opposite extreme
When everything you do is wrong it is abuse. "He" feels bad--manipulation. If she was improperly dressed that's a matter of fact and he can say so, not do a weird staring dance until she has to ask what's wrong. Manipulative. You can warn someone they are under or over dressed so they can steel themselves, but if he's wearing jogging pants, I call BS. If you want someone with you, you won't send them away like that. She could have worn a cocktail dress to that event. He was flexing. If you don't do what I want I'll punish you. You must put all your effort into what I want, but I won't tell you what that is so I can always punish you. That is abuse, or at least getting it started. If you don't think so, you are welcome to try it and see how you like the constant tension and fear. Maybe he never beats her, but the emotional stuff can be more impactful because it doesn't end with the sting of a slap.
Load More Replies...That is a personal opinion. I wouldn't take my partner to a workfunction if they were dressed this casually. Pretty sure that top is even shorter than the pic shows, she's pulling it down. Perfectly fine for the beach or a garden party or similar, not so much for a work thing.
Load More Replies...Yes she looked fine. You are all missing the point. She was going to meet his coworkers and friends at a work function. You do NOT show up in a belly shirt. That's akin to a guy showing up to meet her parents in shorts and sandals. It has nothing to do with her looks and everything to do with dressing appropriately for a certain function. If they were going out dancing that outfit would be perfect.
At first with her jacket on, it looked like she was wearing a black brassiere as a top. Not surprised he was uncomfortable with her appearance.
Load More Replies...The idea of crying on camera for the internet makes me… uncomfortable.
no need to be rude, 'Greg' said that to her because he thinks she overdressed and too revealing
Load More Replies...Men: Women, look pretty for us! Women: - put on makeup and heels- Men: No, not like that….
That kind of behavior isn't how mentally healthy person behaves and it doesn't apply to men only.
Load More Replies...To call it toxic behaviour stretches it.. maybe a dumb move. Wasn't everyone on the fathers side the other day when the daughter wanted to go to a wedding (formal dresscode) in leggings and a crop top? Not everyone has the same taste. I just wonder why he started dating her if he didn't find her attractive the way she presents herself? And tbh, if it was a work function where he'd know most people would wear old clothes, sportswear, pyjamas, and she arrives in much fancier clothes and looks - she'd stand out. Like wearing heels when going to a building site. Excuses are available. But he was an asshole about it, and the situation is solved. Case closed, Hopefully the guy has learned a lesson.
The wedding is a seperate issue since theres usually a dress code that includes color and shape of the dress for the girls. Unless specified otherwise it's not a good idea to wear something that will attract attention away from the main characters. For this story I think the guy over reacted. I also agree with you, calling this toxic is a bit of a stretch. On one hand I feel like he should be allowed to comment /critique her outfit. But on the other hand I don't think she was wearing anything too revealing. Maybe he was more religious, conservative, traditionalist. (Anyone of those word)
Load More Replies...I'd like to start off saying "Boohoo" this article stinks. Dude shoots 3 people but doesn't go to prison no one has nothing to say. Dumb girl whining because some guy didn't like her outfit the whole world is talking. Are you kidding me right now?!!?!!.. Find this dude send him a better woman then send this chick a dirty Kleenex for here fake tears. STOP USING SOCIAL MEDIA TO BASH OTHERS...If you don't like how he thinks or what he likes then kick rocks. I hate when people do this crap.
Exactly. He got her a ride home. People are accustomed to thinking anyone, owes them anything.
Load More Replies...I would have been embarrassed also...She is beautiful but that outfit makes her look like a french poodle lol. Reading the story I was like wow what an jerk but after seeing that horrible outfit I was like yeah I would have been embarrassed as well I wouldn't have sent her home but I would have had to just been super embarrassed the whole night. So ladies if your man dressed up in a tank top and tie dye parachute pants and loafers would you all been so understanding???
The outfit is fine. It may not be everyone's taste but it's fashion forward and she would have been fine at a corporate event. The problem it was casual and he prefers that and they were mismatched. If he wanted her to wear sneakers like him he should have said. He went about that wrong. But even if that's his preference he shouldn't bug her to dress that way if she doesn't want to. Insulting her for her outfit just makes you kinda gross and judgy
Load More Replies...People just abuse social media . Seriously ….instagram famous for over dressing an occasion and getting an Uber ride home . The guy didn’t think her attire was appropriate for the occasion , so he feels bad and gets her a ride home . The lady should of dressed a little more properly for the occasion instead of trying to catch her dates eye ….modern day shivery in my opinion
It sounds like she asked him “how do I look?” and he gave her an honest answer which she didn’t particularly care for. Both of them dodged a bullet honestly, as who wants to be with someone you have to lie to, someone who asks your “opinion” but expects a certain answer and becomes angry/upset when they don’t get it?
I want to back her but if the genders were switched then we would say that the guy was being immature and rude to not be considerate to something that made her uncomfortable and could get her in trouble. I think there should be been a compromise rather than a "my opinion in a situation that involves your career is more important than your opinion and I'm going to end the relationship if I don't get exactly/everything I want."
I think it would have been better for him to let her know before the date that the dress code was conservative. This would have allowed her to accept or reject the date before she went through the hassle of getting ready and both of them would had a better position to retain their dignity. Now both have them have been hurt and that can't be good for anyone.
She says he had mentioned in the past that he had started to talk to her about how she dressed. But I'm this story he never said anything to her about her clothes until she moved out. If you look at the story he says she looked pretty, said I feel bad, and she suggested it was about her attire. I think she baited him a bit.
Load More Replies...What an a**e. I swear people should have to have a license before they're allowed to date.
They need psychiatric assessments for being allowed in public
Load More Replies...These two don't seem like they belong together, but I'm not sure he's a monster. Try and look at the guy's point of view: he was concerned her clothes would make it harder for her to fit in. He tried to gently suggest that, emphasizing so strongly that she is in fact beautiful that that's all he actually says. But she knew he thought maybe the event had a different tone than what she was dressed for. No problem, he won't make an issue of it. But she won't let it die, until the point where she all but threatens to leave him. He gets hurt, and says, "fine... go!" but then regrets it. Definitely a screw-up on his part... but "abusive ... manipulative ... a**h*1e?" Not sure.
He may not have been hurt. He may have thought of she was that worked up she would be trouble at the function. They were arguing and he'd barely said 10 words. Maybe it wasn't the clothes that motivated the Uber, maybe it was the entire situation.
Load More Replies...Casual work attire does not mean show your belly like a teenager. She is beautiful and the outfit would be perfect for a dinner out or drinks but she was to be formally meeting his coworkers. I dont think it was abuse I don't think he was telling her how to dress I think he panicked as well. He didn't know how to approach the situation or resolve it. When you're looking for a forever person something like this, a stick in the mud, should not break the relationship. Grow a pair, talk about it and learn from it. Thats how a relationship becomes something. They both made mistakes, he should have been real and she shouldnt have left and maybe worn a different shirt or kept her jacket closed.
Sometimes these things die they're a bad fit. If she considered him having an opinion about how she dressed at his work function to be abuse is likely they're a bad match, because you can't have a real talk with each other when she considers him having any feelings on his she is dressed to be abuse and mistreatment.
Load More Replies...Communication could have avoided this. If he would have said to her it was a conservative dress code she could have had a better position to accept or reject before going through the hassle of getting ready. That would have given more dignity to both parties.
It wasn't conservative though, it was like casual leisure wear. The article said he was constantly saying she was overdressed and wore too much makeup. I think the outfit was fine even in a casual event setting. The problem was he wanted someone different who doesn't dress up and she enjoyed dressing up... and they were mismatched.
Load More Replies...I feel so bad for her. However, I am of an older generation. If anyone wore a crop top to my place of employment or to an event they would be immediately terminated. Even my kids high school's student handbook says that anyone who shows up in a crop top will be sent home. And I know that that has been every school's rules for decades. So no one who is as young as Ms. Jabs should still remember those rules. I'm really sorry to post a 'negative review' but, it is what it is. All schools and most employers still have had the same dress code since around the 70's. She does look cute for a date or even a second (or higher) meeting of his family. But most definitely not for a business function. So just give the guy a tiny bit of pity as he remembered these same rules and clearly was afraid that he might get into trouble. However, he should have brought up the company's dress code policy the day he told her about the event, definitely NOT the night of. So very sorry. Chin up!!
Given how she dressed previously, it likely never even occurred to him to explain how to dress appropriately for a business function.
Load More Replies...Look, the guy was most likely uncomfortable with her coming to an office party in clothing that may be seen as revealing and sloppy to his superiors, so he gently told her to change her outfit and offered her a ride home. A bit prissy? Yes. Monstrous and abusive? No.
I would've sent her home too. Who shows their whole stomach to a work event? It's called class... People should try to have some.
I dunno man. It was his WORK event. If she wanted to tag along she should know there's most likely gonna be a way he's gonna want to represent himself and you being with him is representing him too. He didn't say anything you did. He said you were pretty and you pulled out of him his dislike for your outfit which honestly was quite atrocious. Then you offered the ultimatum to either not go or go in that you're wearing. He offered then to pay for your ride back since you were clear you didn't want to change your clothes and go to the event. He expressed that admitting he disliked your clothes made him feel bad.Then after the fact he apologized and admitted he was wrong. If he was a narcissist he would've continued to say what she was wearing was ugly or even said so immediately and not tip toe around it.
I hate the outfit.... I have girls and don't allow them to show belly... I think it was clay of the guy to try and let you know he liked you but your attire was something that bothered him, and he told you early.... If you two can't learn to make changes for one another early you weren't meant to be, get over it.
Why are you sexualising women's stomachs ? Do you get upset at seeing men's stomachs too ? If men's stomachs don't bother you, then the problems is not with women, it's with you.
Load More Replies...I don't see why people are giving this man a bad rap. It's his job to be honest with her, and he was. Also, I assume she didn't ask him what specifically she was supposed to wear, so that's on her. I don't know much about job functions, so I don't know if they're supposed to be formal or not, but that jacket she was wearing wouldn't fit the theme of his job or any event for that matter except for a runway fashion show. She's exaggerating with all the crying over being sent home by an Uber. Damn, she even said "yeah go ahead. Send me home in an Uber" and she's the one crying. Either way, she feels like "If my date doesn't like my outfit and offers to send me home to change, that's mental and emotional abuse." I know it's been happening for 3 weeks, but maybe she should've taken the hint beforehand. Greg has different preferences and maybe she should think whether her outfits are suitable for different occasions, and if she doesn't like his preferences, so be it. Ne need for crying.
You and I are on the same page. Emotionally ABUSE is such a broad term now days. Oprn and honest communication in a relationship is entirely necessary. If two people have two different standards that doesn't make one toxic and the other righteous. But if you're coming to my job you should vibe with my standard, or you should opt to stay home, no hard feelings. But if my opinion of what you're wearing or how your behaving is automatically considered toxic, abusive and manipulative idk how people plan to stay together. Not every guy wants his co workers ogling his girlfriend. Not every woman wants to show a bunch of skin. Some guys like a sexy dressed woman all the time. It's not a right or wrong situation. It's preferences and compromises. You don't stay together without discussing preferences and making some compromises. Have we really gotten to where having to make a choice for your partner's comfort or benefit is automatically abuse? I worry a bit about when this generation gets old.
Load More Replies...Am I missing something??She said she picked him up from work, to go to a restaurant, then to his work function, but she had to take an Uber home?
She didn't say she was driving. I assumed she'd got in a taxi and picked him up on the way.
Load More Replies...He wasn’t in the wrong. He told her before hand that they were going to a grand opening, and if he brought her looking like that, she would have gotten him fired. There’s a huge difference between personal style and presentation style, and she was dressed for personal style.
Maybe not fired, but not first in line for a promotion based on maturity. What emotionally mature person brings a partner dressed as a teenybopper to a work event?
Load More Replies...I once had a girl that did not know anything about style, she sent me to change every time...she was not right, my friends make me find out
I'm glad you have good friends to warn you that it's a bad sign when someone makes you change for every single occasion.
Load More Replies...Another case of I can do and say and wear whatever I want without consideration of anyone else. A pretty girl dressed as if she's going to a nightclub. Had she been considerate of her date she would have inquired as to the appropriate attire for the occasion. I'm a woman and I would have sent her home in an Uber as well. When you're out with other people you need to respect their feelings and how your actions reflect upon them. She made a mistake in her attire for the occasion and hopefully she will be more respectful of her companions feelings next time.
Perhaps he should have addressed this beforehand?
Load More Replies...Idk if your going to a professional function with your significant other and they say showing your midriff is not appropriate for their work function, you should change. Work is a different atmosphere, one that the person who works there understands completely over the one that does not, and supporting each other requires that you represent them well at such a function or kindly opt out of attending that kind of function. I've gone to many work functions with my husband, from casual baseball games for team building, to cocktail parties, to Christmas parties where the gowns come out. My job at these events is to be charming, and on his arm because his work environment is not about me. It's about him. Not everything is about you all the time.
Umm...she just met the guy and was already LIVING WITH HIM.....she’s hardly a catch herself. Please tell me when people stop airing their personal lives all over social media for clout and to be placed upon that almighty, coveted VICTIM THRONE. Give me a break. Don’t know what is more sad. Her posting her pathetically conjured up tear filled eyes on the internet...or the fact hat almost 8 MILLION PEOPLE VIEWED IT!!! 🤬
I think maybe he should've just better communicated to her what the event attire was. This sounds like a simple communication issue that got blown out of proportion. Sending her home was a bit much though. I think he needs to work on his own insecurities. He could've stood by his woman. The other people probably wouldn't have cared that much and if they did, it's their problem not his or hers. But, I think it's also okay to have patience for someone who got flustered and didn't know how to handle it. Men are allowed to be overwhelmed and confused sometimes too
I can relate. I was dating a guy who was attending Harvard and while we had great chemistry and I matched him intellectually and had common interests, I came from a family of generational poverty and was working at Walmart at the time. I had no money in which to pursue a career in Psychology as I had always wanted. Needless to say, after a few months of dating secretly (even paying to fly me out to Boston to stay with him for a weekend), he broke up with me. His reason? He was too embarrassed to bring me home to his parents because I had nothing going for me that they would value and I wasn't worth the fight. Talk about a soul crushing experience. While I moved past it, the fact I'm still trapped due to the limitations of opportunities that comes from poverty, what he said still echos back to me from time to time with a, "See, he was right. You were never going to amount to being worth anything." The damage words do is real.
You are worth everything. To your family, to your friends. Do not let the words of someone depreciate your value and self worth. If you feel you can improve then do it. But do not let the words of idiots bring you down. To be honest for him to say that he does not deserve you or any woman until he learns respect. I am sorry this happened and was said to you. You deserve better.
Load More Replies...You look gorgeous! He handled the situation horribly, but I might take the unpopular opinion to note that such outfit could be considered inappropriate for a formal occasion. I would compare it to a man wearing shorts or flip-flops with socks. The woman should have asked for the dress code, the man should have handled the situation in a more sensible way. And no, this is not a women equality issue or a feminist issue, it's just simply a dress code that applies to both genders.
Whether wore was not formal either. Read the story again.
Load More Replies...Maybe I'm old but the writer seems to be putting a lot of spin on the original story, which itself was only one side of the story. It's possible the OP was the one who misjudged the situation. I don't think he's a narcissist or embryonic abuser, but I do think you should get to know someone before you move into their place.
Look I have to disagree with the angry comments here I don't have the whole story and I wasn't there but he did probably almost exactly what I would have done I would have been nervous and probably wouldn't have said anything and then she offered to change and he turned her down saying it was fine and then she told him he had to pick between her going to a casual party in eye very eye catching cloths where his boss and coworkers are or her going home to which this person who wanted to keep their job payed for her ride. If you give someone two options and one of them constitutes the end of the relationship that should be conveyed. And when he found out how much it meant to her he tried to apologize (and gave her back her laptop) . All I'm saying is A. It's relatively not that long a relationship he does not owe you his job and B. If he tells you its causal and you spend 40 minutes on makeup that's your bad. I'm very sorry that this incident upset the both of you.
Also he started the interaction with the fact that he thought she looked good at no point during this is there evidence he meant harm or hard feelings
Load More Replies...Unless the party was at a beach, cover yourself the hell up. You'd be furious if your date showed up in shorts or a tank top. What makes you think this was an appropriate outfit to a corporate party, honestly.
It wasn't a corporate party, genius. If you could read you'd know it was semi casual leisure wear. He said she was overdressed. Hope you don't do a job that requires reading comprehension.
Load More Replies...The outfit was his excuse, his reaction was her excuse. And now the wheel spins on with us to validate their experience... He may be narcissistic, and so might she be for needing our validation. Wake up from the charade, folks, or you're never gonna be able to go deep with that special someone because you'll be too caught up in what culture expects from your relationship. What do you expect from you, is the only right question. Neither he nor she are wrong here, this is just what they wanted and what happened. And yes, she and her outfit are YAS QUEEN... and none of us know his work environment.
But what I want is what everyone else has to want and if they want something else then they’re a total a*****e and I’m gonna cry and post it on the internet so everyone can tell me I’m right and if they say I’m wrong then I’ll call them s**t too! Bahhhhh, look at meeee
💯 this! So right Tracy. You left out the part where she moved back into her van because living in your car on social media is cool and she's a master of basic life skills. Let's all rally behind her because obviously questioning her choices is toxic and abusive.
Load More Replies...how is this anyones fault? simply two people who don't share their views.. I have never been in a relationship with anyone who puts effort in their outfit and now i'm happily married to a beautiful woman who does not own makeup or heels, doesn't shave and wears whatever is first in the closet. To each his own-it's obvious that these guys have insurmountable differences and they will find happiness with other-likeminded-people.
Both parties in the wrong here. She was poorly dressed for what appears to have been a semi-formal or "business attire" occasion. He didn't advise her when he invited her and then couldn't express himself effectively.
bill, no offence, but how was he supose to know she will have such poor tate and sense? most women are even more sensible when it comes to fashion and appropiate even attire than men, even. i don't realyl think is any of his fault here. can't really see it,
Load More Replies...This guy can best be described as what noted political analyst Lucy Van Pelt would call "a blockhead".
i mean...i don't wanna be the devil's advocate here, but that's not really a good attire for such event. surely his reaction is also a bit extreme (if is truly how she describes it) but ths woman needs to also do some reseach to get a sense of how to dress for certain occasions. i mean a date with him only ok, but a fromal event? a bit unappropiate. it feels she really need some advices when it comes to dressing. anyone who says that this outfit is "cute" for a grand openng needs a reality check. this is cute for your local cafe, read the atmosphere. in some places a certain etiquette is needed. i can't blame him complelty, but his reaction was too strong too. she just need a good friend with decent taste and good sense when it come to occasions, to take advice.
Tbh.. I think we all sometimes make mistakes on how we should dress up, and there's nothing wrong in making them, but, the whole situation could have been handled better and more subtly. If you say to your gf that you wish she'd change her outfit for an occation, and the gf immediately breaks up with you, do you guys think it's normal also? I personally don't see one person here being at fault. But both of them miscommunicating and misunderstanding each other. Plus, breaking up over small thing like that, I dunno.. If you actually like the person, why would you do that. Just to make a point that "you can't ever disagree with me", or "you can't tell me what to wear". It's like the famous question, to which there is no right answer: "does this dress make me look fat?". Honestly, I think both of them need to become more mature.
She was picking him up from work, she has a van and he will call Uber for her to go home? I don't get it. I think that her outfit is nice, not too reveling, however for a business celebration gathering I would choose something a bit more conservative.
If this story is the entire story, I agree with the comments being a red flag for “something”. You shouldn’t try to change anyone & it was HIS place of business. Not hers. I’m think however this story is coming at a bad time culturally. I think men, more specifically men falling on or near the straight side of the sexuality spectrum as a whole are kind of under attack right now because of the actions of a few men. Which obviously isn’t right or fair And I strongly believe had the man in this story done anything other than apologize he would have been attacked for expressing his feelings about the situation and told he wasn’t being a man. Personally I think her outfit was just fine. Her makeup was just fine. She seems like a pretty stylish woman so it’s not like she was trying to go out of her way to make a statement. Could she have handled it better 100% yes Could he have handled it better 100% yes However this has became an empowerment story and can apply to anyone.
Listen up, you all who think she was inappropriate: Her outfit was casual enough for what was an important event. Unless there was a specific dress code, it actually would have been more inappropriate had she worn what is actually considered casual. She wasn't inappropriate, and dude was in the wrong.
Simple facts.. Does everything have to go on social media?? It's ridiculous 😒
There is more to this story. Everyone is quick to judge after hearing one side of the story then proceeding to call names and abuse the guy that hasn’t had a chance to speak… Let’s be kind and encouraging.
I can see he was nervous, but if he wanted her to dress more casual he should have said. Plus clothing is an extension of ourselves, so asking someone veto change is like saying I don’t like you like this… so change to how I like you. I agree he may have screwed up but I think he was showing his real self. Maybe he can learn to be accepting and not aspect people to ALL BE THE SAME! If someone commented that my date was outrageous in their dress, maybe saying isn’t it great their creativity and confidence? I love that about her, would have shown REAL leadership qualities!
K so maybe she overdressed but he then SENT HER HOME LIKE A NAUGHTY CHILD. He does not get to underdress then complain about her overdressing then try and get her back the next day. If he complains about every little thing she does then he is being insecure but then again he might just be nervous around the girl he cares about so yeah sending her home is weird but for the rest you need more context and even that she asked him to call her an Uber so yeah we got half a story where she is clearly not saying everything that needs to be said
My ex did this to me. I asked him if it bothered him that I was a little taller than him. He said why would I mind having a tall nice looking blonde on his arm. Later on he complained and asked me to wear flats. I put on makeup for a date he told me the only women who should be wearing makeup were actors on stage. The second time I wore makeup he said that if I needed money To ask him for it. There was no reason to ‘walk the streets’. Yes, he implied I was a prostitute. I wear eyeliner, eyeshadow, and mascara sometimes lip stick that’s all. Be glad you noticed he was verbally abusing you when you did. It continued for years. I didn’t even notice. Until I kicked him out. Then I realized I was a completely different person. Than when we started dating. Shoshana Sherrington yes it is abuse. But there are no scars to see on the outside. Just the scars on the inside no one sees but you.
This is ringing a lot of alarm bells for me, as someone who endured a lifetime of narcissistic abuse; right out of the gate this guy is criticizing her makeup, her shoes, her clothes, even sending her home because he doesn't like what she's wearing. These are major red flags that should not be ignored, because they *always* start small to test your boundaries, and gradually escalate from there.
oh Tracy, please, let's not confuse poor dressing taste, and overssensitive behavoiur to narcissism on his side. is not the case here. she was going on a formal event on his work place.you'd think she has a bit more sense. plus, she was the one asking to go back home becuse he actually pointed out rightfully so that the outfit is not appropiate for such event. everyone is jumping on the narcissim train witout counting the whole context. for pete sake, really, this rings more red bells for her than him.
Load More Replies...I hope she never talks to him again. This is a first glimpse of abusive behavior, it will only get worse from here.
Stop!.WHAT SHE WORE IS LOUD & HIDEOUS! THEN WENT SKIN TIGHT! A simple shirt, pants & MUCH less eye makeup. Then BRIGHT RED JACKET? OMG!
When your dating your attracted to one another and your exploring everything together. Along this journey you are trying to understand how each other live, dress, eat . I don't believe that to attract a partner you slowly change their life to your pleasure or control what they wear, where they go, what they eat. The thought of telling a date what to do and how to do it is called control.This was not a mistake of words because those words have come out several times.Runnnnnnn.
It may have also been something else: Previously, he likely saw a more level-headed, "real" (in his opinion) person that could be someone he wanted to spend a happy drama-free future. When she appeared dressed as a high-schooler to what she knew was a business event, he realized he had made a mistake. He tried to be kind and ensured she got home safely. She, instead of having an adult conversation later and getting to the bottom of this, cries like a little girl and posts publicly. He dodged a bullet.
I believe that outfit was really not suitable for a company opening ceremony. She was aware of the occasion, so she made tge wrong choice of clothes.
I don't know l think that her choice of what outfit she chose to go out to dinner in and, to her dates work function was an outfit that would be more appropriate for going out to a night club. You choose curtain clothes for curtain events. His reputation and job was on the line at the work event. His boss and coworkers were going to be there. If they see the guy hanging out with someone who chose that outfit to ware that would make him look bad at work. I know I'm in the minority here but, that is my opinion.
Too many comments judging this man. Some men prefer natural looking women who don't have to put on metric ton of makeup every time they leave the house. All that makeup is a sign of insecurity. For people saying some women like to wear that much makeup, you're fooling yourselves. This is a learned behavior because society pushes women to do this but it's completely unnecessary to look beautiful. Also, going to a business function for the first time with someone new and wearing a crop top shows very little discretion. I've been dating someone for two years and we've never been to one of my work functions yet (mostly because COVID has stopped those from happening) but if there is one and she put a crop top on I would absolutely ask her to change. I'm not a controlling jerk for that. If she looks like she doesn't know how to dress for the occasion then it will reflect on me, at MY work event.
So he didn't like her style & dumped her, how is that different from any woman dumping a man, because she doesn't like his looks? & all the extra drama is just that... drama!
He didn’t tell her to go home, she pushed him for an ultimatum so there’s that. Do I think he was a jerk for caring what others think over his girlfriend? Yes. Her outfit was fine. They both jumped in pretty fast moving in together after only 3 weeks. I get she lives in her van but they just don’t seem suited as people. I don’t think it’s abusive. Just shallow & both seem petty.
This is not yet fully fledged abusive behavior, but it is the beginning of the grooming process. Abusers start by removing your certainty and confidence. In this case, her clothing and how she looks. She states that this has been increasing in regularity. They then convince you to start second guessing yourself ... oh,perhaps this is not appropriate, maybe he's right, I am overdressed'. This guys did NOT straight out say, 'babe, that's a little too much for the opening. You might be overdressed'. What he did was refuse to comment, say nothing was wrong when clearly it was and then waited until after the dinner to send her home. This is the beginning of the gaslighting process. If the OP had accepted that she was sent home (aka punished) for being dressed inappropriately she would have essentially given him the green light to continue with this behavior. This is not abuse. This is how abuse starts.
People, and women especially... know the signs. Establish firm boundaries and STICK to them. Abusers will will always push you to abandon them. If the beginning of the relationship is defined by you feeling unsure or strongarmed into seemingly insignificant things (like what you wear) and second guessing yourself... be very very cautious. Insignificant things become very significant very quickly.
Load More Replies...I was called a prostitute because I left my dance studio too tired to change, i had to walk home, i was wearing my leotard (pink) and my ballet skirt (also pale pink/cream coloured) my hair was in a bun--a man stopped me and asked if i wanted to come home with him. i said no, and he grabbed my arm and started to pull me. thankfully i was walking with a friend and she hit him with her bag. we ran.
He should have told her ahead of time what would be "appropriate" apparel for the event he was taking her to.
To be fair, who would expect someone to show up dressed like that to a company function? If a person I dated explained to me what to wear to a company function the first word in my head would be "condescending".
Load More Replies...“the attention that the story has garnered has definitely kept my mind off of the fact that I just went through a breakup.
You may be too young to see it, but at 66, I'm not. Trust me. You dodged a bullet with that one! This and his previous passive comments scream "RUN!!" He would only get worse. Sideways comments on your comments, then outright disapproval with the meaning that you do it his way or none, then he would do this to everything about you until you had no self esteem left, couldn't trust any decision you make without running it by him first, and going no where without him because he doesn't trust you, then accusations you are cheating. Laugh as you walk away from that one. I'm glad you didn't go home and change.
Whoa, at first I thought she meant he didn't want her to wear slacks to the occasion. But, reading further he had commented about all her dressing habits. Thank HIM for sending you home in an Uber.
I'd be more concerned with her weight.Or lack of it.Right to get away from this man..the type who will eventually say.."but I love you so much...so you can't see your friends or family,I will phone you ten times a day to see where you are,I'll occasionally have to smack you around for your own good...and the very worst..if I can't have you..who loves you so much..then nobody can"....
Actually it's good that he showed his true colours right away. I can only imagine how controlling he would be after a few dates. I really can't understand what's wrong with how she dressed.
It was a semi-formal event. It isn't an event to show your stomach at. If a woman sent a guy home because he showed his stomach at an event, I don't think anyone would complain. Why is the reaction different with the genders reversed?
Load More Replies...Well, there are two sides of the coin, and two side to this story. I am on Nikki's side. I think she should count her blessing because she has left behind perhaps a lifetime of emotional abuse. the guy knew where they were going and he should know the kind of clothes she wears and simply asked if she could wear the dress he like for the function. he said noting and so she dressed, what looked like to me in a comfortable manner, and not inappropriate. so, this guy worrying about what people would think? he didn;t love her, he wanted to show his boys he got a girl. however, Nikki wasn't dressed hot enough. sure a pretty face, but plain comfortable clothes, oh no, that would never do. she forgot her high heels and mini skirt, you know, the hooker look. Peple are cruel by nature. they hey and they get hurt its an endless cycle. It hard to find true love, but the search i s worth it. Nikki's serach begins anew, good for her.
Wow- what a control freak..Run for the hills!! I was married to one for 25 years!
It was a formal event. She didn't follow the rules of the event. Why is she complaining that she got sent home?
Load More Replies...Women these days need to learn to be a little more modest... If you want to be seen as a princess, then you must carry yourself like a princess....Dress with a little bit of class... Good guys don't want their woman showing off skin to everyone.... A belly shirt was very inappropriate for a first impression at a work party
It was a casual leisure clothing event and he thought she was overdressed. As for her shirt, it's a short blouse and she has a jacket over it. You are projecting a lot and making assumptions about what you think is 'classy' or appropriate. You sound sexist.
Load More Replies...It's a cute outfit, and you looked ok. It's just that it may not be an appropriate outfit if it was a semi professional business get together
The outfit was professional enough, the event was actually leisure/athletic wear. That was the problem, it was going to be more casual he thought. But he was probably wrong when he got there and noticed people with all kinds of outfits. Which is why he said later it would have been fine probably. Do people not read the articles?
Load More Replies...Men have no business telling a women how to dress. I had dates that made comments to me about my appearance. and that was the last comments they made to me.
It was a formal event. If she can't follow the rules of the event, she shouldn't complain if she isn't allowed to go.
Load More Replies...My boyfriend at the time offered to pick me up from my new job. "Nice, thank you! I said and told him it would be nice for him my colleagues. He showed up in baggy shorts, tank top and flip flops. I quickly turned him around at the door and said everyone was too busy today. No regrets to this day about not introducing him. He missed an opportunity to be supportive.
Load More Replies...I would have told her to go with the tube top. What is she living in Tudor times from the waist up?
The lady this story is about absolutely did nothing wrong. That guy was inse-f**king-cure about whatever attention she might have had over him. She definitely doesn’t need that a$*hole in her life, now or ever.
I have to disagree... the outfit was a little too trendy & dancefloor for a business function for a leisure sporting place. He was probably feeling embarrassed because people would be dressed more sporty and felt uncomfortable. When he actually got there though, he probably saw that some of the employees wives and girlfriends were dressed up like her, and it wouldn't have been a big deal. Some guys just don't like dressed up and made up, they like natural and casual. If you are casual most of the time, I am sure he could learn to live with you being dressed up on occasion. he over-reacted, it was a mistake. You either like him enough to forgive him or you don't .
Sorry, anybody who's on the guy's side must think it was cute in "Vertigo" how Jimmy Stewart turned his new girlfriend into his old girlfriend. The face that this had been going on for a while makes it clear that he was trying to turn her into who he thought she should be. That's creepy.
I’ve been in more than one abusive relationship, and this isn’t abuse. It’s drama. I don’t think the entire story is being told here. I feel that the author really was looking for an excuse to end the relationship and she found one. Then she wanted validation for her excuse, and she found that. Maybe that will put her more at ease with her decision, of which I feel she is uncertain.
She looked great. However, He also initially told her she looked fine. If she had not pressed him about how he "really" felt, the outcome may have been very different. If someone is pushed, they will often push back. Not to say he was not a manipulative creep (or that he was), but ultimatums always produce a win-lose situation at best, but more often a lose-lose.
A guy turns up to go to a woman's workplace do,dressed in a band t shirt, slacks and old tennis shoes. Woman then posts about how she " didn't accept no tennis shoes, not with this queen" and all the women will comment "yaaaasss goddess" etc. Changing his style, that wins approval. Woman turns up looking like a streetwalker to a mans do: man tried very tactfully to hint it's not quite right, plus he genuinely appreciates her natural beauty...even asks her not to damage her body with high heels. Man must be abusive, violent and probably got bodies in the basement. Jesus Christ. It was an appallingly inappropriate outfit and why the paint, it's so trashy. I don't get why women do this but if you do, why can't men have an opinion? I don't know ANY men who think this contour makeup looks good, nor the half naked stuff but they keep silent so as not to lose relationships they care about. If Greg cannot be honest about Nikki's fashion choices then how can they have any trust?
I think he just didn't want her to go to the company thing. He's probably messing around with a coworker.
It would be such a shame if suddenly he had no more clothes. Just saying.
Not sure why you cried though,, if he's as heartless as to send u off , don't shed ur precious tears on a moron...
Ok to be honest, girls and ladies with an iota of fashion sense will point out everything that's wrong with that choice of clothes. Not sure of the party was a formal or office dinner, but that too and the pants n hideous red jacket nothing goes together. The lady is simply gorgeous and doesn't need overloaded make up .. Sending her off a big NO considering the state of security nowadays. If she was the one, who. Ares about a party I would've just driven her home and put on something more formal and then gone to the party anyways but ' together '
I would be very uncomfortable finding she is documenting all of our dates on Social Media. There is an expectation of privacy for sure.
I agree that there's probably more to that story..anywhoo I in no way condone a man telling a woman what they should wear, but honestly the girl does have poor fashion sense. I mean ever heard of the basic rule of thumb, if you're gnna wear a fancy top, go with a casual botto9m, and vice versa? I just think she over did it with the shear black polka dot bandeau, and than the silk hot pink blazer to boot.. just saying.. kinda crazy looking..
Personally, it's a grand opening not a club. Her shirt was too short. I go to "casual" business meetings all the time and no one would wear a crop top. It's a classy event not clubbing.
She should have been embarrassed to go in public wearing that hideous outfit. That's what you call casual? You look like you're about to audition for the circus. Did he really beg you to come back? Did he though? Or did he just want you to come get the laptop you "forgot" so you had no excuse to go back.
There are 2 sides to all stories. we are only getting one side. Obviously, lack of communication and understanding is the real truth of it all. We also have the ultimatum and "know that you should accept your partner unconditionally". Modern day dating, you can get doxed, a viral video that is not even true ( you saw that one where a guy falls asleep on a plane and the woman next to him does a fake cheating boyfriend video, imagine being a respectable guy dealing with that short of crap) and a ton of other bad outcomes. He made the good choice. If you make an ultimatum, expect your bluff to be called. Also, No you don't have to accept a partner unconditionally. Accepting some of the good, knowing your skill sets, working on the other. Could this be the start of a manipulative relationship, Yes, I can perceive it as such because it seems that both parties are demanding. And he's definitely going down the manipulative road faster than she is.
Was he an insensitive, dodger idiot about how he handled things? Yes. He could've handled it better than making her uncomfortable about how she looks because he feels paranoid about how his work mates will perceive it. I've seen women wear far trashed than that to a company Christmas party, gets wasted to Jesus at the open bar and proceed to dance like a seasoned stripper.. OP is dressed just fine and it's an athleisure company so I don't see it being sneaks and Ts or being a black tie event either.
DUDE I WAS WATCHING THIS WOMAN ON A VIDEO NOT EVEN 2 SECONDS AGO AND THEN I SWITCH BACK TO THIS TAB AND WHAT
I'm happy she's done with that manipulative a**hole. I had an ex like that and I was happy I dropped him. He thought I looked too fancy or too good for him when I barely even put on concealer.
Can't wait to see how many down votes this gets, but it seems obvious that his comments about her wearing too much makeup and overdressing were code for he thought she looked like a ho and to please tone it down. Failing to take the hint she chose a hot pink satin jacket that made the black top underneath look like lingerie. Not surprised he was too uncomfortable to bring her to the work event. Doubt their tastes will ever mesh and hope they've both found more compatible mates.
She looks good, maybe not his taste.or the taste of other people to where they were going to.
He acted rather strangely but living in a van is also kind of strange so maybe you belong together?
No excuses for him, whichever way you look at it, he should have handled the situation better. If I was insecure about what employers/managers might think about the appearance of my company, I would have discussed that ahead of time. And his insecurities being projected is a huge red flag, get away from him ASAP
This story IS also proof that men are subhuman trash and garbage and women are divine goddesses and perfect humans
That was a LOT of red flags she skated over. How can someone so darling have such poor standards? She deserves better, I think.
This guy is a totally a self-absorbed A-Hole. She did the right thing for herself dropping him. He would only bring her down.
Hey I think you are a very attractive lady and that outfit makes you look that much cuter. I wouldn't worry to much on him obviously he's a Deutsch and you deserve so much better. If his opinion mattered we'd all be listening to him at the moment, I just wish everyone at his shindig knew how big of an a****** he is. Hell I would have took you home to mama anytime of day because you are you not what people want you to be and that trait is extremely rare in this day in age. Keep your head up because the world wants to see you for you, with those eyes, the world and as do I have no reason to worry about your wardrobe. I have two sisters and no brothers so I understand the hurt and pain this may have caused, but you know what it isn't your loss, it's his. I'm actually glad he did what he did because none of your precious, valuable, and considerate time was waisted on an invaluable, and inconsiderate man so be optimistic you wasted a minute amount of time on a guy that wasn't worth it.
Do you mean a 'douche'? A 'deutsch' is something very different and not necessarily negative 😉
Load More Replies...We are lucky to live in a era when women can make healthy choices and be encouraged to do so by peers. Thank you Nikkie for shinning a spot light on controlling judgemental behavior from a partner who did not appreciate your self expression. You know there is a lid to every pot and the wrong one just doesn't fit! God bless you and keep p you safe.
I think to judge someone based on one comment or one situation is as superficial as it gets. If a person thinks everything is about me me me, then that person will never have a normal relationship because they are looking only for what they can get and not what they can offer the other person.
I don't believe that HE feels good about HIMSELF, and is worried about HER because of this. He doesn't want her to wear makeup or dress up because he is afraid that someone else will find her attractive. I had a friend who was married to a Navy guy. She was overweight, and lost a HUGE amount of weight while he was out to sea. She was SO excited and proud to show him the new her. Instead of being happy, he was furious. He actually bought fattening desserts and refused to exercise with her. I think she should talk to this guy and ask him point blank wtf his damage is.
My first thought was that he might have come from a strict religious background that frowned on over exposure clothing and her attire made him uncomfortable. It could be his mother dressed in appropriate and so he rebelled. Sounds like a quick rushed mix matched relationship gone bad. Tell tale for a doomed relationship if they are so opposite.
Most ppl already said what I thought, do you want to be involved with such an uptight prick? You're very pretty, and happy Thanksgiving if nobody else said it to you. Have a great weekend. Very truly, Robert Aiassa
I dont care for the outfit , but he should not " send you home" your better off without him.
That's not what happened. She said that if she she could wear what she was wearing or go home and he said for the Uber for her. She made every decision here herself
Load More Replies...So her vibrance and confidence outshone his??? Screw that dude. He doesn't deserve her vibrance and confidence and beauty ❤️
I thought she was going to say the grand opening was semi-/formal and he thought she was underdressed. This is such a creepy jerk move. Yeah, move along. Weird behavior from him.
Her behavior seems quite toxic. An ultimatum? Sounds quite entitled. He knows best what is appropriate for his company - maybe should have communicated it before, but otherwise..
this guy sounds like an ass always remember you are perfect and so f*****g amazing this goes for everyone out there LOVE YOURSELF!!
This is the best possible outcome. The guy is clearly a loser and this was the easiest and quickest way to end the encounter.
I saw nothing wrong with what she's wearing or her makeup. Greg is an idiot and a control freak
Newsflash for women.... Men dont have to redefine or alter their tastes/wants/desires to suit women....any more than women have to alter how tall/what he does for a living/how big his .... is, for men. Get over yourselves.
Who cares you should have just changed the dumb outfit. It's compromising not boohoo! I can't get my way🥱Women have dealt with man's bull for decades. Every individual (men-women) has their own preferences. The world is totally screwed up right now and she's whining over a bad choice of outfits or just plain bad taste. Forget the dumb dress ! You either want to be with him or you don't. Another chick would be happy to take your place that's more suitable for this guy. One that's not into (Blasting) him on social media for likes and hearts! Just Stupid
It's clear that he is intimidated by how gorgeous she is and he was afraid that she was going to steal the attention from him!
You're beautiful and your outfit was cute! It's his loss and if he may die alone if he continue doing this to any women.
She's a pretty girl trying to look sexy who took it all the way to trashy. They should both find other people with more compatible ideas of taste and style.
Load More Replies...Narcissist. Got his supply and cut her loose. Best to be away from him and not waste any more time.
She didn't dress up for a formal event. She can't complain about it if she didn't follow the rules of the event.
Load More Replies...I've dated a few guys that have tried to get me to change my style for them. For one I was too gothic and he didn't like that. Another one didn't want me wearing bright colours or anything that sparkles, also it wasn't ok if I was wearing a man's shirt, there was also a hoodie he wouldn't let me buy because one of the many designs on it was a broken heart. I've had guys try to tell me how I should cut and dye my hair, how much makeup should I use, what kinds of clothes to wear, how much to drink, how to eat, what to do for entertainment.. I know some women can be like too, but I only have experiences of guys trying to change me and my looks for their liking. Assholes.
Girl if you ever see this, he's a moron! I wish I had your sense of style and fashion. I'm not a bad dresser, I always look ok, sometimes I just look good. But your outfit was absolutely amazing! And I'm sorry he sent you off with a stranger, hope you feel safe again now. This douchenozzle is not worth your time and energy. You are awesome!
That outfit is not appropriate for a corporate grand opening. And it's not because it's too revealing.
I don't get the problem. The guy didnt like the way the girl was dressed, she gave him an ultimatum, he picked his choice. She wears what she wants, he wants nothing to do with her. NOBODY was forced to do anything. Isn't this case one of the everybody's-happy situations?
Wow! I think you are really pretty! You are some guy's dream girl, I promise you. That guy seems like a narcissist. Run!
So he didnt want to be seen in public with a whore? We got bigger things to worry about.
The warning signs were there long before that date and she either missed them completely or chose to ignore them. Considering most people try to be on their best behavior or even put on a false persona when initially dating, she dodged a bullet and hopefully learned to pay more attention to warning signs in the future.
He was a narcissist, glad you got out NOW, rather than LATER. Glad you paid attention to the BRIGHT YELLOW FLASHING LIGHTS, F**K the red flags..
Is it just because I'm a 33 year old stoner, or did anyone picture the white antagonist team leader for the row team from How High in that scene when he tells his soon to be ex her 'butt' was showing lol
The tears in her eyes 😭 that got me right in the feels.. what a gorgeous woman.. his loss!
This IS proof that men NEVER do anything for women while women do EVERYTHING for men, fact and truth
Do you guys think that when a person sugar-coats comments & apologizes after realizing the reaction is not what they expected is NORMAL? My gosh, I hope you never meet such manipulative people and keep your innocence. I, unfortunately, have met so many people like these, from friends to colleagues, partners..... They only want you to change the way THEY want you to be, but if the goal is not achieved, they will find another way to make you feel bad and get you to do what they want eventually. Sugar-coated comments like that sound nice, but they actually make you doubt your decisions and beliefs. These are very dangerous people because they will just get worse and worse with time.
Dating has changed a whole lot since I have dated. I mean now if your date tells you what to do , you listen. So no trying to attract each other, no real dating. I guess you just jump to being controlled, exciting.
She was inappropriately dress. the shirt fine make up impeccable. Abut the Pants didn't suit the formality of the occasion. a nice skirt or Dress pants would have worked. He must think her skin is beautiful without a foundation. Women don't realize their own beauty. The eye make up was so spot on. What a gorgeous woman. He seen that in her. she needs to accept some constructive criticism. We all do. She should give him another chance .
He went in joggers. Those pants are beyond casual. Dress joggers don't exist. Obviously not a formal occasion if dude's wearing joggers. To the opening of a RETAIL store. Not even a high end retail store, just a run of the mill retail store. Sorry sweetie, no one's gonna wear a Balenciaga gown to an Aeropostale opening. Considering the company sells athletic and athleisure wear, I guarantee there were very few people in 'a nice skirt or dress pants'. Her outfit was fine. The issue was what she was wearing wasn't to HIS standards. Not the dress code. Not the job. Him. If we wanna talk formality, 'greg' should've been in a nice button up and DRESS SLACKS, not joggers and presumably a t-shirt. To steal your phrasing: HE was inappropriately dressed. Which brings me to another point. Seeing as HE was inappropriately dressed for his own function, where does he have the room to chastise and judge hers? News flash, he doesn't. Has nothing to do with constructive criticism. Grow up.
Load More Replies...What a toxic piece of sh-t! I hope he gets run over by a... No I'm not going to finish that sentence, that'd be toxic too. Run away, girl! Find someone who looks at you with love streaming out of every pore for who you are.
I am a Virgo and would NEVER treat a girl with such disrespect. Just saying.
Load More Replies...Tamara, the guy was wearing JOGGERS and RUNNING SHOES, how was she not dressed appropriately when he was dressed like that?
Load More Replies...Or maybe just READ the thing instead of defending the dickhead? The girl said the function was for an athleisure brand and the guy was wearing joggers and sneakers. She was dressed fine, he's a controlling dipshit.
Load More Replies...Yeah, like the fact that that's not even a crop top, but a bandeau (she has to pull it down to make it look like a crop top), and he works for a retail company, and had told her it was casual.
Load More Replies...The comments calling the guy abusive are really exaggerated I think. People get nervous about their work and what their superiors think. He panicked a little at the crop top. Probably he went and saw other people dressed that way and realized he'd made a mistake. Doesn't mean they're meant to be together. As for comments about unlike you natural etc. We've had a decade or so of fighting back against the pressure for women to always look perfect and done up. This guy probably does like the girl exactly how she looks without all the effort which is sweet. When he is pushing it on her I think it is the result of growing up during that fight and not realizing that many women like to get dressed up. We are now at the opposite extreme
When everything you do is wrong it is abuse. "He" feels bad--manipulation. If she was improperly dressed that's a matter of fact and he can say so, not do a weird staring dance until she has to ask what's wrong. Manipulative. You can warn someone they are under or over dressed so they can steel themselves, but if he's wearing jogging pants, I call BS. If you want someone with you, you won't send them away like that. She could have worn a cocktail dress to that event. He was flexing. If you don't do what I want I'll punish you. You must put all your effort into what I want, but I won't tell you what that is so I can always punish you. That is abuse, or at least getting it started. If you don't think so, you are welcome to try it and see how you like the constant tension and fear. Maybe he never beats her, but the emotional stuff can be more impactful because it doesn't end with the sting of a slap.
Load More Replies...That is a personal opinion. I wouldn't take my partner to a workfunction if they were dressed this casually. Pretty sure that top is even shorter than the pic shows, she's pulling it down. Perfectly fine for the beach or a garden party or similar, not so much for a work thing.
Load More Replies...Yes she looked fine. You are all missing the point. She was going to meet his coworkers and friends at a work function. You do NOT show up in a belly shirt. That's akin to a guy showing up to meet her parents in shorts and sandals. It has nothing to do with her looks and everything to do with dressing appropriately for a certain function. If they were going out dancing that outfit would be perfect.
At first with her jacket on, it looked like she was wearing a black brassiere as a top. Not surprised he was uncomfortable with her appearance.
Load More Replies...The idea of crying on camera for the internet makes me… uncomfortable.
no need to be rude, 'Greg' said that to her because he thinks she overdressed and too revealing
Load More Replies...Men: Women, look pretty for us! Women: - put on makeup and heels- Men: No, not like that….
That kind of behavior isn't how mentally healthy person behaves and it doesn't apply to men only.
Load More Replies...To call it toxic behaviour stretches it.. maybe a dumb move. Wasn't everyone on the fathers side the other day when the daughter wanted to go to a wedding (formal dresscode) in leggings and a crop top? Not everyone has the same taste. I just wonder why he started dating her if he didn't find her attractive the way she presents herself? And tbh, if it was a work function where he'd know most people would wear old clothes, sportswear, pyjamas, and she arrives in much fancier clothes and looks - she'd stand out. Like wearing heels when going to a building site. Excuses are available. But he was an asshole about it, and the situation is solved. Case closed, Hopefully the guy has learned a lesson.
The wedding is a seperate issue since theres usually a dress code that includes color and shape of the dress for the girls. Unless specified otherwise it's not a good idea to wear something that will attract attention away from the main characters. For this story I think the guy over reacted. I also agree with you, calling this toxic is a bit of a stretch. On one hand I feel like he should be allowed to comment /critique her outfit. But on the other hand I don't think she was wearing anything too revealing. Maybe he was more religious, conservative, traditionalist. (Anyone of those word)
Load More Replies...I'd like to start off saying "Boohoo" this article stinks. Dude shoots 3 people but doesn't go to prison no one has nothing to say. Dumb girl whining because some guy didn't like her outfit the whole world is talking. Are you kidding me right now?!!?!!.. Find this dude send him a better woman then send this chick a dirty Kleenex for here fake tears. STOP USING SOCIAL MEDIA TO BASH OTHERS...If you don't like how he thinks or what he likes then kick rocks. I hate when people do this crap.
Exactly. He got her a ride home. People are accustomed to thinking anyone, owes them anything.
Load More Replies...I would have been embarrassed also...She is beautiful but that outfit makes her look like a french poodle lol. Reading the story I was like wow what an jerk but after seeing that horrible outfit I was like yeah I would have been embarrassed as well I wouldn't have sent her home but I would have had to just been super embarrassed the whole night. So ladies if your man dressed up in a tank top and tie dye parachute pants and loafers would you all been so understanding???
The outfit is fine. It may not be everyone's taste but it's fashion forward and she would have been fine at a corporate event. The problem it was casual and he prefers that and they were mismatched. If he wanted her to wear sneakers like him he should have said. He went about that wrong. But even if that's his preference he shouldn't bug her to dress that way if she doesn't want to. Insulting her for her outfit just makes you kinda gross and judgy
Load More Replies...People just abuse social media . Seriously ….instagram famous for over dressing an occasion and getting an Uber ride home . The guy didn’t think her attire was appropriate for the occasion , so he feels bad and gets her a ride home . The lady should of dressed a little more properly for the occasion instead of trying to catch her dates eye ….modern day shivery in my opinion
It sounds like she asked him “how do I look?” and he gave her an honest answer which she didn’t particularly care for. Both of them dodged a bullet honestly, as who wants to be with someone you have to lie to, someone who asks your “opinion” but expects a certain answer and becomes angry/upset when they don’t get it?
I want to back her but if the genders were switched then we would say that the guy was being immature and rude to not be considerate to something that made her uncomfortable and could get her in trouble. I think there should be been a compromise rather than a "my opinion in a situation that involves your career is more important than your opinion and I'm going to end the relationship if I don't get exactly/everything I want."
I think it would have been better for him to let her know before the date that the dress code was conservative. This would have allowed her to accept or reject the date before she went through the hassle of getting ready and both of them would had a better position to retain their dignity. Now both have them have been hurt and that can't be good for anyone.
She says he had mentioned in the past that he had started to talk to her about how she dressed. But I'm this story he never said anything to her about her clothes until she moved out. If you look at the story he says she looked pretty, said I feel bad, and she suggested it was about her attire. I think she baited him a bit.
Load More Replies...What an a**e. I swear people should have to have a license before they're allowed to date.
They need psychiatric assessments for being allowed in public
Load More Replies...These two don't seem like they belong together, but I'm not sure he's a monster. Try and look at the guy's point of view: he was concerned her clothes would make it harder for her to fit in. He tried to gently suggest that, emphasizing so strongly that she is in fact beautiful that that's all he actually says. But she knew he thought maybe the event had a different tone than what she was dressed for. No problem, he won't make an issue of it. But she won't let it die, until the point where she all but threatens to leave him. He gets hurt, and says, "fine... go!" but then regrets it. Definitely a screw-up on his part... but "abusive ... manipulative ... a**h*1e?" Not sure.
He may not have been hurt. He may have thought of she was that worked up she would be trouble at the function. They were arguing and he'd barely said 10 words. Maybe it wasn't the clothes that motivated the Uber, maybe it was the entire situation.
Load More Replies...Casual work attire does not mean show your belly like a teenager. She is beautiful and the outfit would be perfect for a dinner out or drinks but she was to be formally meeting his coworkers. I dont think it was abuse I don't think he was telling her how to dress I think he panicked as well. He didn't know how to approach the situation or resolve it. When you're looking for a forever person something like this, a stick in the mud, should not break the relationship. Grow a pair, talk about it and learn from it. Thats how a relationship becomes something. They both made mistakes, he should have been real and she shouldnt have left and maybe worn a different shirt or kept her jacket closed.
Sometimes these things die they're a bad fit. If she considered him having an opinion about how she dressed at his work function to be abuse is likely they're a bad match, because you can't have a real talk with each other when she considers him having any feelings on his she is dressed to be abuse and mistreatment.
Load More Replies...Communication could have avoided this. If he would have said to her it was a conservative dress code she could have had a better position to accept or reject before going through the hassle of getting ready. That would have given more dignity to both parties.
It wasn't conservative though, it was like casual leisure wear. The article said he was constantly saying she was overdressed and wore too much makeup. I think the outfit was fine even in a casual event setting. The problem was he wanted someone different who doesn't dress up and she enjoyed dressing up... and they were mismatched.
Load More Replies...I feel so bad for her. However, I am of an older generation. If anyone wore a crop top to my place of employment or to an event they would be immediately terminated. Even my kids high school's student handbook says that anyone who shows up in a crop top will be sent home. And I know that that has been every school's rules for decades. So no one who is as young as Ms. Jabs should still remember those rules. I'm really sorry to post a 'negative review' but, it is what it is. All schools and most employers still have had the same dress code since around the 70's. She does look cute for a date or even a second (or higher) meeting of his family. But most definitely not for a business function. So just give the guy a tiny bit of pity as he remembered these same rules and clearly was afraid that he might get into trouble. However, he should have brought up the company's dress code policy the day he told her about the event, definitely NOT the night of. So very sorry. Chin up!!
Given how she dressed previously, it likely never even occurred to him to explain how to dress appropriately for a business function.
Load More Replies...Look, the guy was most likely uncomfortable with her coming to an office party in clothing that may be seen as revealing and sloppy to his superiors, so he gently told her to change her outfit and offered her a ride home. A bit prissy? Yes. Monstrous and abusive? No.
I would've sent her home too. Who shows their whole stomach to a work event? It's called class... People should try to have some.
I dunno man. It was his WORK event. If she wanted to tag along she should know there's most likely gonna be a way he's gonna want to represent himself and you being with him is representing him too. He didn't say anything you did. He said you were pretty and you pulled out of him his dislike for your outfit which honestly was quite atrocious. Then you offered the ultimatum to either not go or go in that you're wearing. He offered then to pay for your ride back since you were clear you didn't want to change your clothes and go to the event. He expressed that admitting he disliked your clothes made him feel bad.Then after the fact he apologized and admitted he was wrong. If he was a narcissist he would've continued to say what she was wearing was ugly or even said so immediately and not tip toe around it.
I hate the outfit.... I have girls and don't allow them to show belly... I think it was clay of the guy to try and let you know he liked you but your attire was something that bothered him, and he told you early.... If you two can't learn to make changes for one another early you weren't meant to be, get over it.
Why are you sexualising women's stomachs ? Do you get upset at seeing men's stomachs too ? If men's stomachs don't bother you, then the problems is not with women, it's with you.
Load More Replies...I don't see why people are giving this man a bad rap. It's his job to be honest with her, and he was. Also, I assume she didn't ask him what specifically she was supposed to wear, so that's on her. I don't know much about job functions, so I don't know if they're supposed to be formal or not, but that jacket she was wearing wouldn't fit the theme of his job or any event for that matter except for a runway fashion show. She's exaggerating with all the crying over being sent home by an Uber. Damn, she even said "yeah go ahead. Send me home in an Uber" and she's the one crying. Either way, she feels like "If my date doesn't like my outfit and offers to send me home to change, that's mental and emotional abuse." I know it's been happening for 3 weeks, but maybe she should've taken the hint beforehand. Greg has different preferences and maybe she should think whether her outfits are suitable for different occasions, and if she doesn't like his preferences, so be it. Ne need for crying.
You and I are on the same page. Emotionally ABUSE is such a broad term now days. Oprn and honest communication in a relationship is entirely necessary. If two people have two different standards that doesn't make one toxic and the other righteous. But if you're coming to my job you should vibe with my standard, or you should opt to stay home, no hard feelings. But if my opinion of what you're wearing or how your behaving is automatically considered toxic, abusive and manipulative idk how people plan to stay together. Not every guy wants his co workers ogling his girlfriend. Not every woman wants to show a bunch of skin. Some guys like a sexy dressed woman all the time. It's not a right or wrong situation. It's preferences and compromises. You don't stay together without discussing preferences and making some compromises. Have we really gotten to where having to make a choice for your partner's comfort or benefit is automatically abuse? I worry a bit about when this generation gets old.
Load More Replies...Am I missing something??She said she picked him up from work, to go to a restaurant, then to his work function, but she had to take an Uber home?
She didn't say she was driving. I assumed she'd got in a taxi and picked him up on the way.
Load More Replies...He wasn’t in the wrong. He told her before hand that they were going to a grand opening, and if he brought her looking like that, she would have gotten him fired. There’s a huge difference between personal style and presentation style, and she was dressed for personal style.
Maybe not fired, but not first in line for a promotion based on maturity. What emotionally mature person brings a partner dressed as a teenybopper to a work event?
Load More Replies...I once had a girl that did not know anything about style, she sent me to change every time...she was not right, my friends make me find out
I'm glad you have good friends to warn you that it's a bad sign when someone makes you change for every single occasion.
Load More Replies...Another case of I can do and say and wear whatever I want without consideration of anyone else. A pretty girl dressed as if she's going to a nightclub. Had she been considerate of her date she would have inquired as to the appropriate attire for the occasion. I'm a woman and I would have sent her home in an Uber as well. When you're out with other people you need to respect their feelings and how your actions reflect upon them. She made a mistake in her attire for the occasion and hopefully she will be more respectful of her companions feelings next time.
Perhaps he should have addressed this beforehand?
Load More Replies...Idk if your going to a professional function with your significant other and they say showing your midriff is not appropriate for their work function, you should change. Work is a different atmosphere, one that the person who works there understands completely over the one that does not, and supporting each other requires that you represent them well at such a function or kindly opt out of attending that kind of function. I've gone to many work functions with my husband, from casual baseball games for team building, to cocktail parties, to Christmas parties where the gowns come out. My job at these events is to be charming, and on his arm because his work environment is not about me. It's about him. Not everything is about you all the time.
Umm...she just met the guy and was already LIVING WITH HIM.....she’s hardly a catch herself. Please tell me when people stop airing their personal lives all over social media for clout and to be placed upon that almighty, coveted VICTIM THRONE. Give me a break. Don’t know what is more sad. Her posting her pathetically conjured up tear filled eyes on the internet...or the fact hat almost 8 MILLION PEOPLE VIEWED IT!!! 🤬
I think maybe he should've just better communicated to her what the event attire was. This sounds like a simple communication issue that got blown out of proportion. Sending her home was a bit much though. I think he needs to work on his own insecurities. He could've stood by his woman. The other people probably wouldn't have cared that much and if they did, it's their problem not his or hers. But, I think it's also okay to have patience for someone who got flustered and didn't know how to handle it. Men are allowed to be overwhelmed and confused sometimes too
I can relate. I was dating a guy who was attending Harvard and while we had great chemistry and I matched him intellectually and had common interests, I came from a family of generational poverty and was working at Walmart at the time. I had no money in which to pursue a career in Psychology as I had always wanted. Needless to say, after a few months of dating secretly (even paying to fly me out to Boston to stay with him for a weekend), he broke up with me. His reason? He was too embarrassed to bring me home to his parents because I had nothing going for me that they would value and I wasn't worth the fight. Talk about a soul crushing experience. While I moved past it, the fact I'm still trapped due to the limitations of opportunities that comes from poverty, what he said still echos back to me from time to time with a, "See, he was right. You were never going to amount to being worth anything." The damage words do is real.
You are worth everything. To your family, to your friends. Do not let the words of someone depreciate your value and self worth. If you feel you can improve then do it. But do not let the words of idiots bring you down. To be honest for him to say that he does not deserve you or any woman until he learns respect. I am sorry this happened and was said to you. You deserve better.
Load More Replies...You look gorgeous! He handled the situation horribly, but I might take the unpopular opinion to note that such outfit could be considered inappropriate for a formal occasion. I would compare it to a man wearing shorts or flip-flops with socks. The woman should have asked for the dress code, the man should have handled the situation in a more sensible way. And no, this is not a women equality issue or a feminist issue, it's just simply a dress code that applies to both genders.
Whether wore was not formal either. Read the story again.
Load More Replies...Maybe I'm old but the writer seems to be putting a lot of spin on the original story, which itself was only one side of the story. It's possible the OP was the one who misjudged the situation. I don't think he's a narcissist or embryonic abuser, but I do think you should get to know someone before you move into their place.
Look I have to disagree with the angry comments here I don't have the whole story and I wasn't there but he did probably almost exactly what I would have done I would have been nervous and probably wouldn't have said anything and then she offered to change and he turned her down saying it was fine and then she told him he had to pick between her going to a casual party in eye very eye catching cloths where his boss and coworkers are or her going home to which this person who wanted to keep their job payed for her ride. If you give someone two options and one of them constitutes the end of the relationship that should be conveyed. And when he found out how much it meant to her he tried to apologize (and gave her back her laptop) . All I'm saying is A. It's relatively not that long a relationship he does not owe you his job and B. If he tells you its causal and you spend 40 minutes on makeup that's your bad. I'm very sorry that this incident upset the both of you.
Also he started the interaction with the fact that he thought she looked good at no point during this is there evidence he meant harm or hard feelings
Load More Replies...Unless the party was at a beach, cover yourself the hell up. You'd be furious if your date showed up in shorts or a tank top. What makes you think this was an appropriate outfit to a corporate party, honestly.
It wasn't a corporate party, genius. If you could read you'd know it was semi casual leisure wear. He said she was overdressed. Hope you don't do a job that requires reading comprehension.
Load More Replies...The outfit was his excuse, his reaction was her excuse. And now the wheel spins on with us to validate their experience... He may be narcissistic, and so might she be for needing our validation. Wake up from the charade, folks, or you're never gonna be able to go deep with that special someone because you'll be too caught up in what culture expects from your relationship. What do you expect from you, is the only right question. Neither he nor she are wrong here, this is just what they wanted and what happened. And yes, she and her outfit are YAS QUEEN... and none of us know his work environment.
But what I want is what everyone else has to want and if they want something else then they’re a total a*****e and I’m gonna cry and post it on the internet so everyone can tell me I’m right and if they say I’m wrong then I’ll call them s**t too! Bahhhhh, look at meeee
💯 this! So right Tracy. You left out the part where she moved back into her van because living in your car on social media is cool and she's a master of basic life skills. Let's all rally behind her because obviously questioning her choices is toxic and abusive.
Load More Replies...how is this anyones fault? simply two people who don't share their views.. I have never been in a relationship with anyone who puts effort in their outfit and now i'm happily married to a beautiful woman who does not own makeup or heels, doesn't shave and wears whatever is first in the closet. To each his own-it's obvious that these guys have insurmountable differences and they will find happiness with other-likeminded-people.
Both parties in the wrong here. She was poorly dressed for what appears to have been a semi-formal or "business attire" occasion. He didn't advise her when he invited her and then couldn't express himself effectively.
bill, no offence, but how was he supose to know she will have such poor tate and sense? most women are even more sensible when it comes to fashion and appropiate even attire than men, even. i don't realyl think is any of his fault here. can't really see it,
Load More Replies...This guy can best be described as what noted political analyst Lucy Van Pelt would call "a blockhead".
i mean...i don't wanna be the devil's advocate here, but that's not really a good attire for such event. surely his reaction is also a bit extreme (if is truly how she describes it) but ths woman needs to also do some reseach to get a sense of how to dress for certain occasions. i mean a date with him only ok, but a fromal event? a bit unappropiate. it feels she really need some advices when it comes to dressing. anyone who says that this outfit is "cute" for a grand openng needs a reality check. this is cute for your local cafe, read the atmosphere. in some places a certain etiquette is needed. i can't blame him complelty, but his reaction was too strong too. she just need a good friend with decent taste and good sense when it come to occasions, to take advice.
Tbh.. I think we all sometimes make mistakes on how we should dress up, and there's nothing wrong in making them, but, the whole situation could have been handled better and more subtly. If you say to your gf that you wish she'd change her outfit for an occation, and the gf immediately breaks up with you, do you guys think it's normal also? I personally don't see one person here being at fault. But both of them miscommunicating and misunderstanding each other. Plus, breaking up over small thing like that, I dunno.. If you actually like the person, why would you do that. Just to make a point that "you can't ever disagree with me", or "you can't tell me what to wear". It's like the famous question, to which there is no right answer: "does this dress make me look fat?". Honestly, I think both of them need to become more mature.
She was picking him up from work, she has a van and he will call Uber for her to go home? I don't get it. I think that her outfit is nice, not too reveling, however for a business celebration gathering I would choose something a bit more conservative.
If this story is the entire story, I agree with the comments being a red flag for “something”. You shouldn’t try to change anyone & it was HIS place of business. Not hers. I’m think however this story is coming at a bad time culturally. I think men, more specifically men falling on or near the straight side of the sexuality spectrum as a whole are kind of under attack right now because of the actions of a few men. Which obviously isn’t right or fair And I strongly believe had the man in this story done anything other than apologize he would have been attacked for expressing his feelings about the situation and told he wasn’t being a man. Personally I think her outfit was just fine. Her makeup was just fine. She seems like a pretty stylish woman so it’s not like she was trying to go out of her way to make a statement. Could she have handled it better 100% yes Could he have handled it better 100% yes However this has became an empowerment story and can apply to anyone.
Listen up, you all who think she was inappropriate: Her outfit was casual enough for what was an important event. Unless there was a specific dress code, it actually would have been more inappropriate had she worn what is actually considered casual. She wasn't inappropriate, and dude was in the wrong.
Simple facts.. Does everything have to go on social media?? It's ridiculous 😒
There is more to this story. Everyone is quick to judge after hearing one side of the story then proceeding to call names and abuse the guy that hasn’t had a chance to speak… Let’s be kind and encouraging.
I can see he was nervous, but if he wanted her to dress more casual he should have said. Plus clothing is an extension of ourselves, so asking someone veto change is like saying I don’t like you like this… so change to how I like you. I agree he may have screwed up but I think he was showing his real self. Maybe he can learn to be accepting and not aspect people to ALL BE THE SAME! If someone commented that my date was outrageous in their dress, maybe saying isn’t it great their creativity and confidence? I love that about her, would have shown REAL leadership qualities!
K so maybe she overdressed but he then SENT HER HOME LIKE A NAUGHTY CHILD. He does not get to underdress then complain about her overdressing then try and get her back the next day. If he complains about every little thing she does then he is being insecure but then again he might just be nervous around the girl he cares about so yeah sending her home is weird but for the rest you need more context and even that she asked him to call her an Uber so yeah we got half a story where she is clearly not saying everything that needs to be said
My ex did this to me. I asked him if it bothered him that I was a little taller than him. He said why would I mind having a tall nice looking blonde on his arm. Later on he complained and asked me to wear flats. I put on makeup for a date he told me the only women who should be wearing makeup were actors on stage. The second time I wore makeup he said that if I needed money To ask him for it. There was no reason to ‘walk the streets’. Yes, he implied I was a prostitute. I wear eyeliner, eyeshadow, and mascara sometimes lip stick that’s all. Be glad you noticed he was verbally abusing you when you did. It continued for years. I didn’t even notice. Until I kicked him out. Then I realized I was a completely different person. Than when we started dating. Shoshana Sherrington yes it is abuse. But there are no scars to see on the outside. Just the scars on the inside no one sees but you.
This is ringing a lot of alarm bells for me, as someone who endured a lifetime of narcissistic abuse; right out of the gate this guy is criticizing her makeup, her shoes, her clothes, even sending her home because he doesn't like what she's wearing. These are major red flags that should not be ignored, because they *always* start small to test your boundaries, and gradually escalate from there.
oh Tracy, please, let's not confuse poor dressing taste, and overssensitive behavoiur to narcissism on his side. is not the case here. she was going on a formal event on his work place.you'd think she has a bit more sense. plus, she was the one asking to go back home becuse he actually pointed out rightfully so that the outfit is not appropiate for such event. everyone is jumping on the narcissim train witout counting the whole context. for pete sake, really, this rings more red bells for her than him.
Load More Replies...I hope she never talks to him again. This is a first glimpse of abusive behavior, it will only get worse from here.
Stop!.WHAT SHE WORE IS LOUD & HIDEOUS! THEN WENT SKIN TIGHT! A simple shirt, pants & MUCH less eye makeup. Then BRIGHT RED JACKET? OMG!
When your dating your attracted to one another and your exploring everything together. Along this journey you are trying to understand how each other live, dress, eat . I don't believe that to attract a partner you slowly change their life to your pleasure or control what they wear, where they go, what they eat. The thought of telling a date what to do and how to do it is called control.This was not a mistake of words because those words have come out several times.Runnnnnnn.
It may have also been something else: Previously, he likely saw a more level-headed, "real" (in his opinion) person that could be someone he wanted to spend a happy drama-free future. When she appeared dressed as a high-schooler to what she knew was a business event, he realized he had made a mistake. He tried to be kind and ensured she got home safely. She, instead of having an adult conversation later and getting to the bottom of this, cries like a little girl and posts publicly. He dodged a bullet.
I believe that outfit was really not suitable for a company opening ceremony. She was aware of the occasion, so she made tge wrong choice of clothes.
I don't know l think that her choice of what outfit she chose to go out to dinner in and, to her dates work function was an outfit that would be more appropriate for going out to a night club. You choose curtain clothes for curtain events. His reputation and job was on the line at the work event. His boss and coworkers were going to be there. If they see the guy hanging out with someone who chose that outfit to ware that would make him look bad at work. I know I'm in the minority here but, that is my opinion.
Too many comments judging this man. Some men prefer natural looking women who don't have to put on metric ton of makeup every time they leave the house. All that makeup is a sign of insecurity. For people saying some women like to wear that much makeup, you're fooling yourselves. This is a learned behavior because society pushes women to do this but it's completely unnecessary to look beautiful. Also, going to a business function for the first time with someone new and wearing a crop top shows very little discretion. I've been dating someone for two years and we've never been to one of my work functions yet (mostly because COVID has stopped those from happening) but if there is one and she put a crop top on I would absolutely ask her to change. I'm not a controlling jerk for that. If she looks like she doesn't know how to dress for the occasion then it will reflect on me, at MY work event.
So he didn't like her style & dumped her, how is that different from any woman dumping a man, because she doesn't like his looks? & all the extra drama is just that... drama!
He didn’t tell her to go home, she pushed him for an ultimatum so there’s that. Do I think he was a jerk for caring what others think over his girlfriend? Yes. Her outfit was fine. They both jumped in pretty fast moving in together after only 3 weeks. I get she lives in her van but they just don’t seem suited as people. I don’t think it’s abusive. Just shallow & both seem petty.
This is not yet fully fledged abusive behavior, but it is the beginning of the grooming process. Abusers start by removing your certainty and confidence. In this case, her clothing and how she looks. She states that this has been increasing in regularity. They then convince you to start second guessing yourself ... oh,perhaps this is not appropriate, maybe he's right, I am overdressed'. This guys did NOT straight out say, 'babe, that's a little too much for the opening. You might be overdressed'. What he did was refuse to comment, say nothing was wrong when clearly it was and then waited until after the dinner to send her home. This is the beginning of the gaslighting process. If the OP had accepted that she was sent home (aka punished) for being dressed inappropriately she would have essentially given him the green light to continue with this behavior. This is not abuse. This is how abuse starts.
People, and women especially... know the signs. Establish firm boundaries and STICK to them. Abusers will will always push you to abandon them. If the beginning of the relationship is defined by you feeling unsure or strongarmed into seemingly insignificant things (like what you wear) and second guessing yourself... be very very cautious. Insignificant things become very significant very quickly.
Load More Replies...I was called a prostitute because I left my dance studio too tired to change, i had to walk home, i was wearing my leotard (pink) and my ballet skirt (also pale pink/cream coloured) my hair was in a bun--a man stopped me and asked if i wanted to come home with him. i said no, and he grabbed my arm and started to pull me. thankfully i was walking with a friend and she hit him with her bag. we ran.
He should have told her ahead of time what would be "appropriate" apparel for the event he was taking her to.
To be fair, who would expect someone to show up dressed like that to a company function? If a person I dated explained to me what to wear to a company function the first word in my head would be "condescending".
Load More Replies...“the attention that the story has garnered has definitely kept my mind off of the fact that I just went through a breakup.
You may be too young to see it, but at 66, I'm not. Trust me. You dodged a bullet with that one! This and his previous passive comments scream "RUN!!" He would only get worse. Sideways comments on your comments, then outright disapproval with the meaning that you do it his way or none, then he would do this to everything about you until you had no self esteem left, couldn't trust any decision you make without running it by him first, and going no where without him because he doesn't trust you, then accusations you are cheating. Laugh as you walk away from that one. I'm glad you didn't go home and change.
Whoa, at first I thought she meant he didn't want her to wear slacks to the occasion. But, reading further he had commented about all her dressing habits. Thank HIM for sending you home in an Uber.
I'd be more concerned with her weight.Or lack of it.Right to get away from this man..the type who will eventually say.."but I love you so much...so you can't see your friends or family,I will phone you ten times a day to see where you are,I'll occasionally have to smack you around for your own good...and the very worst..if I can't have you..who loves you so much..then nobody can"....
Actually it's good that he showed his true colours right away. I can only imagine how controlling he would be after a few dates. I really can't understand what's wrong with how she dressed.
It was a semi-formal event. It isn't an event to show your stomach at. If a woman sent a guy home because he showed his stomach at an event, I don't think anyone would complain. Why is the reaction different with the genders reversed?
Load More Replies...Well, there are two sides of the coin, and two side to this story. I am on Nikki's side. I think she should count her blessing because she has left behind perhaps a lifetime of emotional abuse. the guy knew where they were going and he should know the kind of clothes she wears and simply asked if she could wear the dress he like for the function. he said noting and so she dressed, what looked like to me in a comfortable manner, and not inappropriate. so, this guy worrying about what people would think? he didn;t love her, he wanted to show his boys he got a girl. however, Nikki wasn't dressed hot enough. sure a pretty face, but plain comfortable clothes, oh no, that would never do. she forgot her high heels and mini skirt, you know, the hooker look. Peple are cruel by nature. they hey and they get hurt its an endless cycle. It hard to find true love, but the search i s worth it. Nikki's serach begins anew, good for her.
Wow- what a control freak..Run for the hills!! I was married to one for 25 years!
It was a formal event. She didn't follow the rules of the event. Why is she complaining that she got sent home?
Load More Replies...Women these days need to learn to be a little more modest... If you want to be seen as a princess, then you must carry yourself like a princess....Dress with a little bit of class... Good guys don't want their woman showing off skin to everyone.... A belly shirt was very inappropriate for a first impression at a work party
It was a casual leisure clothing event and he thought she was overdressed. As for her shirt, it's a short blouse and she has a jacket over it. You are projecting a lot and making assumptions about what you think is 'classy' or appropriate. You sound sexist.
Load More Replies...It's a cute outfit, and you looked ok. It's just that it may not be an appropriate outfit if it was a semi professional business get together
The outfit was professional enough, the event was actually leisure/athletic wear. That was the problem, it was going to be more casual he thought. But he was probably wrong when he got there and noticed people with all kinds of outfits. Which is why he said later it would have been fine probably. Do people not read the articles?
Load More Replies...Men have no business telling a women how to dress. I had dates that made comments to me about my appearance. and that was the last comments they made to me.
It was a formal event. If she can't follow the rules of the event, she shouldn't complain if she isn't allowed to go.
Load More Replies...My boyfriend at the time offered to pick me up from my new job. "Nice, thank you! I said and told him it would be nice for him my colleagues. He showed up in baggy shorts, tank top and flip flops. I quickly turned him around at the door and said everyone was too busy today. No regrets to this day about not introducing him. He missed an opportunity to be supportive.
Load More Replies...I would have told her to go with the tube top. What is she living in Tudor times from the waist up?
The lady this story is about absolutely did nothing wrong. That guy was inse-f**king-cure about whatever attention she might have had over him. She definitely doesn’t need that a$*hole in her life, now or ever.
I have to disagree... the outfit was a little too trendy & dancefloor for a business function for a leisure sporting place. He was probably feeling embarrassed because people would be dressed more sporty and felt uncomfortable. When he actually got there though, he probably saw that some of the employees wives and girlfriends were dressed up like her, and it wouldn't have been a big deal. Some guys just don't like dressed up and made up, they like natural and casual. If you are casual most of the time, I am sure he could learn to live with you being dressed up on occasion. he over-reacted, it was a mistake. You either like him enough to forgive him or you don't .
Sorry, anybody who's on the guy's side must think it was cute in "Vertigo" how Jimmy Stewart turned his new girlfriend into his old girlfriend. The face that this had been going on for a while makes it clear that he was trying to turn her into who he thought she should be. That's creepy.
I’ve been in more than one abusive relationship, and this isn’t abuse. It’s drama. I don’t think the entire story is being told here. I feel that the author really was looking for an excuse to end the relationship and she found one. Then she wanted validation for her excuse, and she found that. Maybe that will put her more at ease with her decision, of which I feel she is uncertain.
She looked great. However, He also initially told her she looked fine. If she had not pressed him about how he "really" felt, the outcome may have been very different. If someone is pushed, they will often push back. Not to say he was not a manipulative creep (or that he was), but ultimatums always produce a win-lose situation at best, but more often a lose-lose.
A guy turns up to go to a woman's workplace do,dressed in a band t shirt, slacks and old tennis shoes. Woman then posts about how she " didn't accept no tennis shoes, not with this queen" and all the women will comment "yaaaasss goddess" etc. Changing his style, that wins approval. Woman turns up looking like a streetwalker to a mans do: man tried very tactfully to hint it's not quite right, plus he genuinely appreciates her natural beauty...even asks her not to damage her body with high heels. Man must be abusive, violent and probably got bodies in the basement. Jesus Christ. It was an appallingly inappropriate outfit and why the paint, it's so trashy. I don't get why women do this but if you do, why can't men have an opinion? I don't know ANY men who think this contour makeup looks good, nor the half naked stuff but they keep silent so as not to lose relationships they care about. If Greg cannot be honest about Nikki's fashion choices then how can they have any trust?
I think he just didn't want her to go to the company thing. He's probably messing around with a coworker.
It would be such a shame if suddenly he had no more clothes. Just saying.
Not sure why you cried though,, if he's as heartless as to send u off , don't shed ur precious tears on a moron...
Ok to be honest, girls and ladies with an iota of fashion sense will point out everything that's wrong with that choice of clothes. Not sure of the party was a formal or office dinner, but that too and the pants n hideous red jacket nothing goes together. The lady is simply gorgeous and doesn't need overloaded make up .. Sending her off a big NO considering the state of security nowadays. If she was the one, who. Ares about a party I would've just driven her home and put on something more formal and then gone to the party anyways but ' together '
I would be very uncomfortable finding she is documenting all of our dates on Social Media. There is an expectation of privacy for sure.
I agree that there's probably more to that story..anywhoo I in no way condone a man telling a woman what they should wear, but honestly the girl does have poor fashion sense. I mean ever heard of the basic rule of thumb, if you're gnna wear a fancy top, go with a casual botto9m, and vice versa? I just think she over did it with the shear black polka dot bandeau, and than the silk hot pink blazer to boot.. just saying.. kinda crazy looking..
Personally, it's a grand opening not a club. Her shirt was too short. I go to "casual" business meetings all the time and no one would wear a crop top. It's a classy event not clubbing.
She should have been embarrassed to go in public wearing that hideous outfit. That's what you call casual? You look like you're about to audition for the circus. Did he really beg you to come back? Did he though? Or did he just want you to come get the laptop you "forgot" so you had no excuse to go back.
There are 2 sides to all stories. we are only getting one side. Obviously, lack of communication and understanding is the real truth of it all. We also have the ultimatum and "know that you should accept your partner unconditionally". Modern day dating, you can get doxed, a viral video that is not even true ( you saw that one where a guy falls asleep on a plane and the woman next to him does a fake cheating boyfriend video, imagine being a respectable guy dealing with that short of crap) and a ton of other bad outcomes. He made the good choice. If you make an ultimatum, expect your bluff to be called. Also, No you don't have to accept a partner unconditionally. Accepting some of the good, knowing your skill sets, working on the other. Could this be the start of a manipulative relationship, Yes, I can perceive it as such because it seems that both parties are demanding. And he's definitely going down the manipulative road faster than she is.
Was he an insensitive, dodger idiot about how he handled things? Yes. He could've handled it better than making her uncomfortable about how she looks because he feels paranoid about how his work mates will perceive it. I've seen women wear far trashed than that to a company Christmas party, gets wasted to Jesus at the open bar and proceed to dance like a seasoned stripper.. OP is dressed just fine and it's an athleisure company so I don't see it being sneaks and Ts or being a black tie event either.
DUDE I WAS WATCHING THIS WOMAN ON A VIDEO NOT EVEN 2 SECONDS AGO AND THEN I SWITCH BACK TO THIS TAB AND WHAT
I'm happy she's done with that manipulative a**hole. I had an ex like that and I was happy I dropped him. He thought I looked too fancy or too good for him when I barely even put on concealer.
Can't wait to see how many down votes this gets, but it seems obvious that his comments about her wearing too much makeup and overdressing were code for he thought she looked like a ho and to please tone it down. Failing to take the hint she chose a hot pink satin jacket that made the black top underneath look like lingerie. Not surprised he was too uncomfortable to bring her to the work event. Doubt their tastes will ever mesh and hope they've both found more compatible mates.
She looks good, maybe not his taste.or the taste of other people to where they were going to.
He acted rather strangely but living in a van is also kind of strange so maybe you belong together?
No excuses for him, whichever way you look at it, he should have handled the situation better. If I was insecure about what employers/managers might think about the appearance of my company, I would have discussed that ahead of time. And his insecurities being projected is a huge red flag, get away from him ASAP
This story IS also proof that men are subhuman trash and garbage and women are divine goddesses and perfect humans
That was a LOT of red flags she skated over. How can someone so darling have such poor standards? She deserves better, I think.
This guy is a totally a self-absorbed A-Hole. She did the right thing for herself dropping him. He would only bring her down.
Hey I think you are a very attractive lady and that outfit makes you look that much cuter. I wouldn't worry to much on him obviously he's a Deutsch and you deserve so much better. If his opinion mattered we'd all be listening to him at the moment, I just wish everyone at his shindig knew how big of an a****** he is. Hell I would have took you home to mama anytime of day because you are you not what people want you to be and that trait is extremely rare in this day in age. Keep your head up because the world wants to see you for you, with those eyes, the world and as do I have no reason to worry about your wardrobe. I have two sisters and no brothers so I understand the hurt and pain this may have caused, but you know what it isn't your loss, it's his. I'm actually glad he did what he did because none of your precious, valuable, and considerate time was waisted on an invaluable, and inconsiderate man so be optimistic you wasted a minute amount of time on a guy that wasn't worth it.
Do you mean a 'douche'? A 'deutsch' is something very different and not necessarily negative 😉
Load More Replies...We are lucky to live in a era when women can make healthy choices and be encouraged to do so by peers. Thank you Nikkie for shinning a spot light on controlling judgemental behavior from a partner who did not appreciate your self expression. You know there is a lid to every pot and the wrong one just doesn't fit! God bless you and keep p you safe.
I think to judge someone based on one comment or one situation is as superficial as it gets. If a person thinks everything is about me me me, then that person will never have a normal relationship because they are looking only for what they can get and not what they can offer the other person.
I don't believe that HE feels good about HIMSELF, and is worried about HER because of this. He doesn't want her to wear makeup or dress up because he is afraid that someone else will find her attractive. I had a friend who was married to a Navy guy. She was overweight, and lost a HUGE amount of weight while he was out to sea. She was SO excited and proud to show him the new her. Instead of being happy, he was furious. He actually bought fattening desserts and refused to exercise with her. I think she should talk to this guy and ask him point blank wtf his damage is.
My first thought was that he might have come from a strict religious background that frowned on over exposure clothing and her attire made him uncomfortable. It could be his mother dressed in appropriate and so he rebelled. Sounds like a quick rushed mix matched relationship gone bad. Tell tale for a doomed relationship if they are so opposite.
Most ppl already said what I thought, do you want to be involved with such an uptight prick? You're very pretty, and happy Thanksgiving if nobody else said it to you. Have a great weekend. Very truly, Robert Aiassa
I dont care for the outfit , but he should not " send you home" your better off without him.
That's not what happened. She said that if she she could wear what she was wearing or go home and he said for the Uber for her. She made every decision here herself
Load More Replies...So her vibrance and confidence outshone his??? Screw that dude. He doesn't deserve her vibrance and confidence and beauty ❤️
I thought she was going to say the grand opening was semi-/formal and he thought she was underdressed. This is such a creepy jerk move. Yeah, move along. Weird behavior from him.
Her behavior seems quite toxic. An ultimatum? Sounds quite entitled. He knows best what is appropriate for his company - maybe should have communicated it before, but otherwise..
this guy sounds like an ass always remember you are perfect and so f*****g amazing this goes for everyone out there LOVE YOURSELF!!
This is the best possible outcome. The guy is clearly a loser and this was the easiest and quickest way to end the encounter.
I saw nothing wrong with what she's wearing or her makeup. Greg is an idiot and a control freak
Newsflash for women.... Men dont have to redefine or alter their tastes/wants/desires to suit women....any more than women have to alter how tall/what he does for a living/how big his .... is, for men. Get over yourselves.
Who cares you should have just changed the dumb outfit. It's compromising not boohoo! I can't get my way🥱Women have dealt with man's bull for decades. Every individual (men-women) has their own preferences. The world is totally screwed up right now and she's whining over a bad choice of outfits or just plain bad taste. Forget the dumb dress ! You either want to be with him or you don't. Another chick would be happy to take your place that's more suitable for this guy. One that's not into (Blasting) him on social media for likes and hearts! Just Stupid
It's clear that he is intimidated by how gorgeous she is and he was afraid that she was going to steal the attention from him!
You're beautiful and your outfit was cute! It's his loss and if he may die alone if he continue doing this to any women.
She's a pretty girl trying to look sexy who took it all the way to trashy. They should both find other people with more compatible ideas of taste and style.
Load More Replies...Narcissist. Got his supply and cut her loose. Best to be away from him and not waste any more time.
She didn't dress up for a formal event. She can't complain about it if she didn't follow the rules of the event.
Load More Replies...I've dated a few guys that have tried to get me to change my style for them. For one I was too gothic and he didn't like that. Another one didn't want me wearing bright colours or anything that sparkles, also it wasn't ok if I was wearing a man's shirt, there was also a hoodie he wouldn't let me buy because one of the many designs on it was a broken heart. I've had guys try to tell me how I should cut and dye my hair, how much makeup should I use, what kinds of clothes to wear, how much to drink, how to eat, what to do for entertainment.. I know some women can be like too, but I only have experiences of guys trying to change me and my looks for their liking. Assholes.
Girl if you ever see this, he's a moron! I wish I had your sense of style and fashion. I'm not a bad dresser, I always look ok, sometimes I just look good. But your outfit was absolutely amazing! And I'm sorry he sent you off with a stranger, hope you feel safe again now. This douchenozzle is not worth your time and energy. You are awesome!
That outfit is not appropriate for a corporate grand opening. And it's not because it's too revealing.
I don't get the problem. The guy didnt like the way the girl was dressed, she gave him an ultimatum, he picked his choice. She wears what she wants, he wants nothing to do with her. NOBODY was forced to do anything. Isn't this case one of the everybody's-happy situations?
Wow! I think you are really pretty! You are some guy's dream girl, I promise you. That guy seems like a narcissist. Run!
So he didnt want to be seen in public with a whore? We got bigger things to worry about.
The warning signs were there long before that date and she either missed them completely or chose to ignore them. Considering most people try to be on their best behavior or even put on a false persona when initially dating, she dodged a bullet and hopefully learned to pay more attention to warning signs in the future.
He was a narcissist, glad you got out NOW, rather than LATER. Glad you paid attention to the BRIGHT YELLOW FLASHING LIGHTS, F**K the red flags..
Is it just because I'm a 33 year old stoner, or did anyone picture the white antagonist team leader for the row team from How High in that scene when he tells his soon to be ex her 'butt' was showing lol
The tears in her eyes 😭 that got me right in the feels.. what a gorgeous woman.. his loss!
This IS proof that men NEVER do anything for women while women do EVERYTHING for men, fact and truth
Do you guys think that when a person sugar-coats comments & apologizes after realizing the reaction is not what they expected is NORMAL? My gosh, I hope you never meet such manipulative people and keep your innocence. I, unfortunately, have met so many people like these, from friends to colleagues, partners..... They only want you to change the way THEY want you to be, but if the goal is not achieved, they will find another way to make you feel bad and get you to do what they want eventually. Sugar-coated comments like that sound nice, but they actually make you doubt your decisions and beliefs. These are very dangerous people because they will just get worse and worse with time.
Dating has changed a whole lot since I have dated. I mean now if your date tells you what to do , you listen. So no trying to attract each other, no real dating. I guess you just jump to being controlled, exciting.
She was inappropriately dress. the shirt fine make up impeccable. Abut the Pants didn't suit the formality of the occasion. a nice skirt or Dress pants would have worked. He must think her skin is beautiful without a foundation. Women don't realize their own beauty. The eye make up was so spot on. What a gorgeous woman. He seen that in her. she needs to accept some constructive criticism. We all do. She should give him another chance .
He went in joggers. Those pants are beyond casual. Dress joggers don't exist. Obviously not a formal occasion if dude's wearing joggers. To the opening of a RETAIL store. Not even a high end retail store, just a run of the mill retail store. Sorry sweetie, no one's gonna wear a Balenciaga gown to an Aeropostale opening. Considering the company sells athletic and athleisure wear, I guarantee there were very few people in 'a nice skirt or dress pants'. Her outfit was fine. The issue was what she was wearing wasn't to HIS standards. Not the dress code. Not the job. Him. If we wanna talk formality, 'greg' should've been in a nice button up and DRESS SLACKS, not joggers and presumably a t-shirt. To steal your phrasing: HE was inappropriately dressed. Which brings me to another point. Seeing as HE was inappropriately dressed for his own function, where does he have the room to chastise and judge hers? News flash, he doesn't. Has nothing to do with constructive criticism. Grow up.
Load More Replies...What a toxic piece of sh-t! I hope he gets run over by a... No I'm not going to finish that sentence, that'd be toxic too. Run away, girl! Find someone who looks at you with love streaming out of every pore for who you are.
I am a Virgo and would NEVER treat a girl with such disrespect. Just saying.
Load More Replies...Tamara, the guy was wearing JOGGERS and RUNNING SHOES, how was she not dressed appropriately when he was dressed like that?
Load More Replies...Or maybe just READ the thing instead of defending the dickhead? The girl said the function was for an athleisure brand and the guy was wearing joggers and sneakers. She was dressed fine, he's a controlling dipshit.
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