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17
Woman Called Parents “Terrible” After They Ruined Her Dream Of Having Kids Before It Even Happened
Times are tough; so tough, that more and more adults are choosing to move back in with their families to save money. Around 1-in-3 Americans aged 18-34 currently live with their parents. But of course, doing so can create all sorts of not-under-my-roof drama, depending on the dynamics.
When one married woman and her husband fell on hard times during the Covid pandemic, her parents offered to let them move in. Things were going well until the 25-year-old started talking about her desire to have a baby. Much to her surprise, the woman’s dad threatened to kick her out if she got pregnant. The way she retaliated left the father regretting his words…
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This married woman expected her dad to be excited to hear that she wanted to have a baby
Image credits: YuriArcursPeopleimages / Envato (not the actual photo)
Instead, he threatened to kick her out of the house and it caused massive drama
Image credits: drazenphoto / Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: anon
Having a baby is expensive, is the couple really in a position to afford it?
The woman’s parents are against her having a baby under their roof because of the noise, disruption and chaos that comes with a newborn. But there’s another factor at play that many netizens have raised…
Babies are expensive. And if the couple is already struggling financially, are they really in a position to bring new life into this world?
Little humans put a dent in your pocket before they’re even born. There are medical bills, you need to stock up on diapers, clothing, a car seat and a whole lot more. When it comes to the birth, you’d better be prepared. According to personal finance website WalletHub, the average conventional delivery in the U.S. costs over $2,600 with insurance. Without insurance it could cost nearly $15,000.
The cost can vary greatly depending on what state you live in, the type of delivery, whether you have delivery complications and the hospital you opt for.
WalletHub recently released a report titled “2025’s Best & Worst States to Have a Baby.” The team compared the 50 states and the District of Columbia across 31 key measures of cost and health care accessibility, as well as baby- and family-friendliness.
The research revealed that Massachusetts is the best state to have a baby, mainly because it has the third-lowest infant mortality rate in the country and the eighth-lowest maternal mortality rate. It also has the best neonatal hospitals in the U.S. for premature births or babies with health problems.
In addition, the Bay State has the sixth-lowest share of households with infants or toddlers experiencing food insecurity, and the second-highest share of children under three years old with all seven recommended vaccines.
“Parents in Massachusetts benefit from the best leave policies in the nation after the birth of a child,” notes the report. “You can also take advantage of parenting programs that are covered by Medicaid.”
And that’s not all… Massachusetts is also the best state for raising a family, according to WalletHub.
North Dakota came in second, mainly due to low costs. “The state has the lowest costs in the country for a conventional delivery with no complications, at an average of just $7,500,” reveals WalletHub. “For comparison, in the most expensive states, that can cost you as much as $27,000. North Dakota also has the second-lowest costs for a conventional birth with complications, and the fourth-lowest cesarean section costs.”
The state has the third-lowest average hourly rate for a babysitter in the country, at just $17.56. It has the ninth-most child care centers per capita and fifth-most mom groups per capita, giving plenty of options for care and support.
With the costs of having kids continuing to rise, many people are choosing to be child-free, or have less children than their parents or grandparents did.
“Parents today spend more money on extracurriculars, schools, experiences – they also spend more time than parents did in the ’60s. Parents want their children to succeed, they perceive a future of intense competition and want to prepare their children,” explained Stacey N. Doan in a WalletHub press release. Doan is a Professor and Director of Berger Institute for Individual and Social Development, Claremont McKenna College.
She adds that today’s parents also want to prioritize and spend time with their children. “They are also considering lifestyle and careers,” the expert says. “A calculation is being made, and for most parents, less is more.”
“Your daughter needs to grow up”: many understood where the father was coming from
But not everyone took the dad’s side, with some calling him out for his decision
Some people felt that the whole family should do better
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What do you think ?
shg stewart 5 months ago
If you can't afford to live on your own, the situation's not going to get any better if you have a baby. You shouldn't even be thinking about having a baby until you're relatively financially stable. I'm not talking about rich or well to do, but living on your own and having money left over at the end of the month should be sort of the minimum.
Sarah Matsoukis 5 months ago
Feels like she was mad because she planned to have a baby there and stay
Emilu 5 months ago
Their house; their rules. And frankly, so many people assume their parents will automatically be the free babysitters nowadays; the entitlement is crazy. In my mother's friend circle I think everyone else has at least one grandkid (sorry Mum; you're just getting grandbirdies) and they're on the hook for at least three days of assumed sitting per week. Several of the grandmums have more grandkids than days in the week so I have no idea how they're doing it. If the OP and his wife don't want to look after another baby (and with a recently-diagnosed autistic child, I can definitely understand that they may not want to), they shouldn't have to compromise under *their* roof. Not even getting into how the daughter/partner can afford a baby if they needed to move back with the folks for financial reasons. OP needs to realise that it may drive a permanent wedge in the relationship with the daughter, though, if she's going to be stubborn (and IMO, immature) about it and consider that first.
The_Nicest_Misanthrope 5 months ago
Say it with me, people. IF YOU CAN'T AFFORD A BABY, YOU SHOULDN'T BE HAVING A F*****G BABY!!!
ॐBoyGanesh 5 months ago (edited)
Hubby & I had to start work roughly 8 months before our house was built, 2500 miles from our previous home. My brother’s former home, which he would vacation in a few times a year & occasionally VRBO was available to us. Free-of-charge at his insistence. As an extended guest or temporary border in someone’s home, we felt extremely obligated to pay for everything we could. Including paying for him & his wife to have a private vacation in lieu of staying with us in his house. Because when someone gives you their private space to help you out, one of your first priorities, if not THE first, should be to “pay your own way.” Having a child whilst living with one’s folks & placing additional burdens onto them is not paying one’s own way. It’s not adulting. We waited to adopt a dog (and many other animals) after we moved into our own place. Didn’t even consider bringing a pet into someone else’s home, much less making a baby.
Ben Aziza 5 months ago
The YTA and even some of the ESH are a special brand aren't they... Sure placate the adult that acts like a child and thinks they can raise one... What absolute troglodytes. The parents handled it as well as any could...
Olive 5 months ago
I honestly mostly read these to see how mental the YTA commenters are going to be.
Load More Replies...
Alexandra 5 months ago
Again, this should be a no-brainer. It's OP's house, so his and his wife's rules apply. They didn't tell their daughter she should NEVER have a child, just that she couldn't have one while living in their house and that was the correct thing to say. If you can't afford a place of your own, you've no business having a kid you probably can't afford either. The YTA's really baffle me: why should this couple let themselves be taken advantage of by their daughter? It's irrelevant that it's family: taking advantage of someone else is not something you should be doing. Period.
Beak Hookage 5 months ago
My sister and her boyfriend moved in with our parents temporarily to save money. When did they have their first child? AFTER they'd gotten their own house and were financially stable.
Michael Largey 5 months ago
You'd really have to hate your baby to bring it into the world in a situation like this.
Gerry Higgins 5 months ago
NTA - If they can't afford to put a roof over their own heads it's irresponsible for them to be thinking about having babies. And the last thing you need is another mouth to feed.
Nils Skirnir 5 months ago (edited)
If this were 160 years ago and on the family farm, OP would’ve been a jerk. In the modern world, if you can’t afford to raise a child, especially if you’re 25+ and have to live with your parents, you shouldn’t have a kid. OP acted appropriately.
Shelley Colleen 4 months ago (edited)
So their grown, married daughter, who they generously opened their home to, became bored during the pandemic and thought it was the perfect time to get knocked up. After all, her folks would probably be thrilled to help care for their first grandchild, right? She thought she'd be spared o from having to do ALL the baby care! She assumed they'd happily help her with the tough stuff like midnight feedings and diapers. She thought she had won the baby lottery!
Tony Zecco 5 months ago
Seems like a reasonable boundary to have. I don't understand the esh and YTA verdicts.
Beth Wheeler 5 months ago
NTA. Supposedly the daughter is a grownass woman and her husband is a grownass man, they both need to grow the hell up. If they can't afford to live on their own they can't afford to have babies. END OF STORY! The little boy has been diagnosed with Aspbergers Syndrome and the parents don't want or need any babies living in their house. Hopefully the parents have a good Pediatric Neurologist and resources for him. If they haven't already done it they need to set up an IEP meeting at school for him. If there is a Division of TEEACH near them they should call for an appointment, they have great resources.
Zig Zag Wanderer 5 months ago
Paying to have a baby delivered? That's not a thing in civilised countries.
Robert Beveridge 5 months ago
Of course nta but I gotta wonder...if your reasoning for doing this is "we can't handle the disruption, screaming, etc.", then why on earth would you give them until three months after birth to find a new place? The logic ain't logicking.
Mau 5 months ago
Because they aren't monsters: pushing heavy pregnant woman out of their house it's is not what they want, they pressure her to be responsible for actions and decisions.
Load More Replies...
Janelle Collard 5 months ago (edited)
So a couple of 20-somethings want to have a baby but mom + dad have to care for it? Ok!
Mike F 5 months ago
Well, TBF that was implied. IMO it's mom and dad's house so it's their rules. They already have 2 at home before the daughter an SIL moved in. Add in the youngest recently being diagnosed with Aspergers, and the 2 temps talking about having a kid and thus turning the house on it's ear, I'm right there with em. You can pop out a dozen, h3ll, turn your house into the set of Yours Mine and Ours, but do it in your house.
Load More Replies... Duh 5 months ago
I think we've all been sold a bill of goods where in our society everyone "needs" their own house with no other family living in it, each home "needs" a car for every adult, those houses all need to be furnished. Capital is so dependent on us living apart and making everybody work away from the home so parents can't actively raise their children or care for the old and infirm family members. It has us by the throat, killing off public spaces, public transportation, public education to sell us more shite.
Mike F 5 months ago
What "our society" needs is for couples to be prepared and responsible when it's time for them to start their own family. This business of "it takes a village" is nonsense if everyone is not ready to buy into it. This would be a great time to have a kid, no payments, no rent, no bills. It's so much malarkey. Simply because "they want..." doesn't entitle them to turn someones home on it's ear.
Load More Replies...
Kit Black 5 months ago
When you choose to have and raise children, you are responsible for those children. And there's nothing wrong with having your adult children live with you if both parties agree to it. This family already has three children, but only one of them is a married adult who cannot afford to live on her own. They are also responsible for their other two children, one of whom would not do well living with a baby. The ADULT daughter's desire to have a baby under mommy & daddy's roof is not more important than the mental health of the youngest child.
Load More Replies...
Bartlet for world domination 5 months ago
Yeah and what about the cultures where any man would be the boss of any woman, 43 years his senior or not? The cultures where no privacy is expected? Where daughters would be living in the husband's family anyway? Where gay sons have to fear for their lives? Where developmental disorders aren't a thing? Your point seems to be that community can be found within a family, and I agree. In OP's culture however, that's a choice, not a given, and I'm inclined to prefer that.
Load More Replies... shg stewart 5 months ago
If you can't afford to live on your own, the situation's not going to get any better if you have a baby. You shouldn't even be thinking about having a baby until you're relatively financially stable. I'm not talking about rich or well to do, but living on your own and having money left over at the end of the month should be sort of the minimum.
Sarah Matsoukis 5 months ago
Feels like she was mad because she planned to have a baby there and stay
Emilu 5 months ago
Their house; their rules. And frankly, so many people assume their parents will automatically be the free babysitters nowadays; the entitlement is crazy. In my mother's friend circle I think everyone else has at least one grandkid (sorry Mum; you're just getting grandbirdies) and they're on the hook for at least three days of assumed sitting per week. Several of the grandmums have more grandkids than days in the week so I have no idea how they're doing it. If the OP and his wife don't want to look after another baby (and with a recently-diagnosed autistic child, I can definitely understand that they may not want to), they shouldn't have to compromise under *their* roof. Not even getting into how the daughter/partner can afford a baby if they needed to move back with the folks for financial reasons. OP needs to realise that it may drive a permanent wedge in the relationship with the daughter, though, if she's going to be stubborn (and IMO, immature) about it and consider that first.
The_Nicest_Misanthrope 5 months ago
Say it with me, people. IF YOU CAN'T AFFORD A BABY, YOU SHOULDN'T BE HAVING A F*****G BABY!!!
ॐBoyGanesh 5 months ago (edited)
Hubby & I had to start work roughly 8 months before our house was built, 2500 miles from our previous home. My brother’s former home, which he would vacation in a few times a year & occasionally VRBO was available to us. Free-of-charge at his insistence. As an extended guest or temporary border in someone’s home, we felt extremely obligated to pay for everything we could. Including paying for him & his wife to have a private vacation in lieu of staying with us in his house. Because when someone gives you their private space to help you out, one of your first priorities, if not THE first, should be to “pay your own way.” Having a child whilst living with one’s folks & placing additional burdens onto them is not paying one’s own way. It’s not adulting. We waited to adopt a dog (and many other animals) after we moved into our own place. Didn’t even consider bringing a pet into someone else’s home, much less making a baby.
Ben Aziza 5 months ago
The YTA and even some of the ESH are a special brand aren't they... Sure placate the adult that acts like a child and thinks they can raise one... What absolute troglodytes. The parents handled it as well as any could...
Olive 5 months ago
I honestly mostly read these to see how mental the YTA commenters are going to be.
Load More Replies... Alexandra 5 months ago
Again, this should be a no-brainer. It's OP's house, so his and his wife's rules apply. They didn't tell their daughter she should NEVER have a child, just that she couldn't have one while living in their house and that was the correct thing to say. If you can't afford a place of your own, you've no business having a kid you probably can't afford either. The YTA's really baffle me: why should this couple let themselves be taken advantage of by their daughter? It's irrelevant that it's family: taking advantage of someone else is not something you should be doing. Period.
Beak Hookage 5 months ago
My sister and her boyfriend moved in with our parents temporarily to save money. When did they have their first child? AFTER they'd gotten their own house and were financially stable.
Michael Largey 5 months ago
You'd really have to hate your baby to bring it into the world in a situation like this.
Gerry Higgins 5 months ago
NTA - If they can't afford to put a roof over their own heads it's irresponsible for them to be thinking about having babies. And the last thing you need is another mouth to feed.
Nils Skirnir 5 months ago (edited)
If this were 160 years ago and on the family farm, OP would’ve been a jerk. In the modern world, if you can’t afford to raise a child, especially if you’re 25+ and have to live with your parents, you shouldn’t have a kid. OP acted appropriately.
Shelley Colleen 4 months ago (edited)
So their grown, married daughter, who they generously opened their home to, became bored during the pandemic and thought it was the perfect time to get knocked up. After all, her folks would probably be thrilled to help care for their first grandchild, right? She thought she'd be spared o from having to do ALL the baby care! She assumed they'd happily help her with the tough stuff like midnight feedings and diapers. She thought she had won the baby lottery!
Tony Zecco 5 months ago
Seems like a reasonable boundary to have. I don't understand the esh and YTA verdicts.
Beth Wheeler 5 months ago
NTA. Supposedly the daughter is a grownass woman and her husband is a grownass man, they both need to grow the hell up. If they can't afford to live on their own they can't afford to have babies. END OF STORY! The little boy has been diagnosed with Aspbergers Syndrome and the parents don't want or need any babies living in their house. Hopefully the parents have a good Pediatric Neurologist and resources for him. If they haven't already done it they need to set up an IEP meeting at school for him. If there is a Division of TEEACH near them they should call for an appointment, they have great resources.
Zig Zag Wanderer 5 months ago
Paying to have a baby delivered? That's not a thing in civilised countries.
Robert Beveridge 5 months ago
Of course nta but I gotta wonder...if your reasoning for doing this is "we can't handle the disruption, screaming, etc.", then why on earth would you give them until three months after birth to find a new place? The logic ain't logicking.
Mau 5 months ago
Because they aren't monsters: pushing heavy pregnant woman out of their house it's is not what they want, they pressure her to be responsible for actions and decisions.
Load More Replies... Janelle Collard 5 months ago (edited)
So a couple of 20-somethings want to have a baby but mom + dad have to care for it? Ok!
Mike F 5 months ago
Well, TBF that was implied. IMO it's mom and dad's house so it's their rules. They already have 2 at home before the daughter an SIL moved in. Add in the youngest recently being diagnosed with Aspergers, and the 2 temps talking about having a kid and thus turning the house on it's ear, I'm right there with em. You can pop out a dozen, h3ll, turn your house into the set of Yours Mine and Ours, but do it in your house.
Load More Replies... Duh 5 months ago
I think we've all been sold a bill of goods where in our society everyone "needs" their own house with no other family living in it, each home "needs" a car for every adult, those houses all need to be furnished. Capital is so dependent on us living apart and making everybody work away from the home so parents can't actively raise their children or care for the old and infirm family members. It has us by the throat, killing off public spaces, public transportation, public education to sell us more shite.
Mike F 5 months ago
What "our society" needs is for couples to be prepared and responsible when it's time for them to start their own family. This business of "it takes a village" is nonsense if everyone is not ready to buy into it. This would be a great time to have a kid, no payments, no rent, no bills. It's so much malarkey. Simply because "they want..." doesn't entitle them to turn someones home on it's ear.
Load More Replies... Kit Black 5 months ago
When you choose to have and raise children, you are responsible for those children. And there's nothing wrong with having your adult children live with you if both parties agree to it. This family already has three children, but only one of them is a married adult who cannot afford to live on her own. They are also responsible for their other two children, one of whom would not do well living with a baby. The ADULT daughter's desire to have a baby under mommy & daddy's roof is not more important than the mental health of the youngest child.
Load More Replies... Bartlet for world domination 5 months ago
Yeah and what about the cultures where any man would be the boss of any woman, 43 years his senior or not? The cultures where no privacy is expected? Where daughters would be living in the husband's family anyway? Where gay sons have to fear for their lives? Where developmental disorders aren't a thing? Your point seems to be that community can be found within a family, and I agree. In OP's culture however, that's a choice, not a given, and I'm inclined to prefer that.
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