Mom Causes A Scene At A Restaurant After Overhearing That This Couple Wants To Switch Tables Due To Her Crying Baby
A confused woman who was out with her husband for the first time after their baby was born turned to the subreddit ‘Am I the [Jerk?]’ to get an outside perspective on the way she and her partner responded to a particularly noisy infant nearby.
Using the nickname Ok_Candy7966, she said that the couple got a babysitter and went to a very nice restaurant, so they really put a lot of effort (including money) into making the night worth remembering. So they were really frustrated with the “extras” that weren’t on the menu — the screams and cries.
Continue scrolling to read how everything unfolded.
This woman and her husband wanted to get away from their family life and do something as a couple, so they went to a fancy restaurant
Image credits: Sarah Chai (not the actual photo)
But their night took an unpleasant turn when the baby next to them started bawling their eyes out
Image credits: Alan Light (not the actual photo)
Credits: Ok_Candy7966
This topic has been resurfacing on the internet in one form or the other for quite some time now. Grant Achatz, the Chicago chef of Michelin-starred restaurant Alinea, caused an uproar a couple of years ago when he tweeted that someone brought an 8-month-old baby into his (very expensive) restaurant and the other diners weren’t happy about it. He asked his followers for advice, and, just like this post, it also generated a variety of opinions.
Many people appear to agree that the answer to how should all parties handle the situation lies in the setting. Vincenzo Mangiafridda, the owner of 83 ½, a restaurant in New York City, supports this line of thinking.
“As a father of toddlers, I encourage parents to select kid-friendly restaurants when they dine with younger children,” he said. “My wife rarely eats at 83 ½ because our son is not old enough to behave appropriately in such a setting.”
While Mangiafridda hasn’t enacted a ban or definitive policy, he’s aware of how a crying child can affect his company’s reputation among diners. “My business is my livelihood, and its success is dependent upon providing an enjoyable experience for all our customers.”
And it’s not just restaurants that are trying to figure it out. Some airlines have also joined in on the no-kids trend. Malaysia Airlines, for example, made headlines in the past for banning infants from first-class cabins and creating kid-free zones in economy, while Singapore’s Scoot Airlines introduced the ‘ScootinSilence’ upgrade, barring children under the age of 12 from particular rows. Then there’s AirAsia, which has the ‘Quiet Zone’ for passengers 10 years and above.
But you can’t discreetly exit a plane to give other people’s eardrums and nerves a break. You can in a restaurant, though. And that’s what one should do if one’s child is bothering everyone around them. At least for a little while. Do you agree? Let us know in the comments.
Most people think the couple did nothing wrong
But some believe everyone sucks here (ESH)
294Kviews
Share on FacebookI grew up in and around my Grandfathers rather posh restaurant, and I believe that until a child can sit through a meal, without needing to get down from the table early, they shouldn't be in the restaurant. I know it may be unpopular but with hot foodstuffs being carried around, it's not fair on other patrons or the serving staff.
Inam a chef and it really gets problematic when people let their kids run around the restaurant. It puts everyone in danger. I have tripped over kids mucking about, they even come into the kitchen which is an absolute no. No unauthoruzed staff are allowed in the kitchen least of a dueing service. I dont take no for an answer. I will swnd the kid back to their table and tell the parent they need to stay seated. Also parents who let their kids take off their shoes and run around..yo do you know how many glasses get broken in a restaurant? Stupid. When I owned a streerfood style restaurant I literally had a parent change their 2 year olds shitty diaper at the.table. i knew they did it becauae of the god awful smell. They acred liike it was cute. Wth! I wa sso stunned I couldnt say anything, partly because if I did it would have been Gordon Ramsey level anger. I love seeing well behaved kids at a restaurant. Kods that appreciate the experience and who are being included in the experience.
Load More Replies...I had something somewhat similar happen to me, but on a plane. Kid (around 4yrs old id say) sitting behind me kicking my seat, screaming like crazy while the parents did absolutely nothing. I pushed the button to call the stewardess whom came over. I politely asked if I could change seats because the parents behind me weren't considering anyone around them- but I politely said it very loud. Stewardess said no problem, but then the parents got mad At Me! Actually having the nerve to say 'I could've asked them to curb (their own) kid!' in stead of calling the stewardess...I flipped around stunned and replied for everyone to hear 'I shouldn't have to!'
I had a kid kicking my seat. I, very politely, asked the mother to have her child stop. She basically ignored me. I'd finally had it & stood (to the best of my limited ability), turned around and SCREAMED in the kid's face "STOP KICKING MY F*****G SEAT". Not my best moment I will admit, swearing at a child is beyond uncool - BUT, it did get him to stop kicking my seat.
Load More Replies...NTA. These, "Sorry, you're just gonna have to put up with my kids" parents are nauseating.
oh heck no, NTA all the way. I'm a parent to small children and I am OVERLY apologetic if my kids are making a ruckus in a restaurant or anywhere else. OP didn't say anything rude to the parents, they just asked the waiter if they could move, a totally reasonable request.
Just don't take it out in your kids with verbal or physical abuse. Especially if they are or even just might be neurodivergent in any way. My mom was really really embarrassed to be with her (mostly ADHD and also me, autistic) kids in public and made it no secret. Often turning to violence, name calling, and shaming once we were in private. This one time when i was 13 my 2 ADHD bros were running around and getting into everything i was told to help round them up. And j ended up telling one bro that being this way is why we can't ever have a nice time out and how much this ruins the day for the entire family and now he's too old to have no self control etc. All things my mom often screams at them. But cause i said it in public she made this big scene about publicly shutting me down and protecting her kids from judgment and then quietly hisses at me that if other people heard me saying those things they might call CPS on us and I'd go to prison for child abuse (since I'm not parent)
Load More Replies...Nta, why would you try to take a baby to a place like that? He won’t understand or enjoy it! “Nothing we could do” like she has never heard of sitters…
They went for their enjoyment. And sometimes you just can't get a sitter. That's why they took him. There's nothing wrong with that. But there WAS something she could do. She could have taken him outside, or, if she couldn't calm him down, boxes her food up to go. That's where she went wrong.
Load More Replies...I think ALL restaurants should have a child-free dinning area. Further more, it should be behind closed doors. I am a mother of 3 that are each two years apart. Mine were not allowed out of their chairs until it was time to leave. Plus, as babies if they started crying we paid our tab and left so others could enjoy their meal. I just don't get people inflicting rudeness onto others.
Sounds like you're a considerate parent. And I agree about the child free dining area with the door. The leisure centre my boyfriend works out at has a child free area, but there's no door.
Load More Replies...Obviously it's pricey since OP said it's a nice, fancy restaurant. That being said, most people don't get to go to fancy restaurants often, so when they do go, it's understandable that they want it to be a pleasant experience. Even if you go often, it doesn't mean you have to sit through your meal being serenaded by shrieks and cries. OP and her husband just wanted to have a nice, quiet dinner and to give themselves a break from kids. I wonder if the other mom heard everything or just partially hence she got really offended.
Even if they had been a couple without children, they didn't pay to have to listen to her baby cry. She should just accept that she's wrong for bringing a baby to a restaurant. Baby's cry, so take a minute to consider where not to bring a baby. Get a sitter, it's not that difficult. And if someone is going to great lengths not to be disturbed by your baby - have the grace to be embarrassed instead of getting offended.
Load More Replies...Old joke : "On a plane I asked the flight attendant to move me to a new seat because I was next to a crying baby. Turns out they won't do that if it's your baby."
NTA. The staff should have seated the couple with the baby far off from other diners in the first place. Asking to move to another table was a reasonable solution. The parents had no right to complain about anything and should have left their child at home with a sitter.
I'm a waitress and I absolutely hate crying babies. I work for a small restaurant and if a baby cries it almost echoes and its frustrating. If your kid is too young then you shouldn't take them to restaurants, because they disturb other people and it's honestly called respect. I don't mind if a kid cries once or twice, but if they keep crying then you should probably bring them home. And if your kids run around the restaurant you should learn to parent them, because it's unacceptable that you let your kids run around. No, people don't appreciate your children running close to their table, crying and screaming. I like kids and I've seen VERY polite ones that would sit at the table, draw, talk to their parents and it really shows what kind of education they are given.
I went to dinner at Red Lobster with my husband years ago, and we were seated against the wall, in what used to be the smoking section. So kind of a smallish, semi closed off area. There was a good sized family seated at a couple pushed together tables, in the middle of the area. They had two or three small children who were literally running laps around the whole section. They ran right past our table shrieking and laughing, almost hitting my elbow, several times. The wait staff was literally tripping over them, sometimes with fully loaded trays of hot food. And the parents just ignored them. Most obnoxious experience I've ever had. I couldn't believe the management didn't say anything to them. If I had been the me I am now, I definitely would have said something. Back then, all I could do was watch in disgust. My own son is 14 now. But even at a very young age, he knew better than to act a fool in public. Anywhere.
Load More Replies...OP is definitely NTA. The other mom is. Not for bringing a baby to a restaurant, and not for struggling to settle the child, and I can understand she was probably stressed and possibly defensive about the fact her baby kept crying. No, the reason the other mom is the AH is her verbal attack of OP and particularly her comment that OP probably doesn't have kids. That is not on. You can't say that to a stranger - you don't know if they've lost a child or struggled to conceive. (Even with acquaintances/friends, you don't necessarily know their full history or if they are silently struggling with fertility issues/miscarriage.) So yeah, the other mom was the AH, and she's lucky she just got the response she did from OP.
While I agree the other mom was TA for the things she said, I also think she was wrong to bring the baby to the fancy restaurant in the first place. Want to go out for a nice evening, parents? Spring for a sitter. Can't afford it? Then go someplace known to be family friendly or have takeout at home. You do not have the right to ruin everyone else's time.
Load More Replies...We were staying on the Queen Mary once in Long Beach California we had a decent room the first night no problems the second night they move kids right next-door to our room and they were loud having a great time I went to the front desk and ask them to have us moved they said they would tell the kids to be quiet I said no those kids are making memories with their family I don't want them to be disturbed if you just move us Everything will be OK the manager overheard our generous gesture of moving so they could continue their evening undisturbed and put us in the best room on the ship for the night it was amazing a little bit of niceness went along way and I bet those kids still remember the fun they had on the queen Mary that night 15 years ago!!!
"The manager overheard our generous gesture of moving so they could continue their evening undisturbed and put us in the best room on the ship for the night". And then everyone clapped. I mean, I'm not saying that this story is made up but the style gives me serious Linkedin/coaching vibes.
Load More Replies...Definitely NTA and your sister is dumb for saying you were. I hate when humans lack total perspective like that.
As a mother of a one year old I completely find their request to move okay. I avoided going out with my baby when she was crying a lot because I actually take the feelings of others into consideration and don’t feel the world revolves me because I spit out a spawn. It’s my problem to deal with not everyone else’s. Luckily my baby is really well behaved in public so I can take her out, but if she ever got loud or fussy I would go outside until she calmed down. I refuse to be that inconsiderate
I took my kids to places like Mc D's and they learned manners as they got older. So by the time they were able to sit on a booster chair and feed themselves we went to fancy places. The mom with the screaming kid should have gotten a baby-sitter or at least to them to a kid friendly place.
As a mom, I think you should not be bringing your baby out to fancy restaurants. Everyone needs to eat but tiny kids are unpredictable and there are drive thrust and family restaurants. There are babysitters or take out. Enough with expecting the world to revolve around you. What happened to decorum and manners. What happened to adult only spaces??????
I didn't take my kids to anything more fancy than a Pizza Hut before they were 5 and even then just during the day. Where ever we were with them as babies I spent most if the time in corridors walking them up and down to avoid crying. Yes I ate cold food mostly. On a bus I would get off at the next stop and walk for a bit instead. Better that than aggravating everyone in a restaurant or other public place. Also, I don't like the sound of crying either hence the coping mechanisms to avoid it.
My baby is 3 and a half months and we take him with us everywhere. He’s never cried because when he starts fussing we just give him a bottle right away and he quiets down. I agree that if he was crying I would take him away till he calmed down cause nobody want’s to listen to that myself included. I also would not leave him with a sitter while he’s so young cause Im paranoid and would worry too much.
NTA. I am a Chef. When I have the opportunity to go out and enjoy a fine meal in a restaurant that prides itself in providing the "experience" I don't want someone else's child ruining that for me. Nor do I want them ruining the experience of my food for others. This is a problem with our over entitled selfish society. Just because you have a right to enjoy some thing doesn't give you the right ruin it for others; they have the same rights and expectations. The masses do not need to conform to the individual. The reverse is, and always has been, true.
This is actually one of the reasons a lot of high end restaurants ban children, especially babies/toddlers. They can be loud, disruptive, even dangerous to patrons or servers (hot food and/or drinks, lots of people, etc). While it might not be a popular rule, it does have its purpose and reasoning. If the mother in question couldn't handle others requesting to move (as happens a lot in EVERY restaurant) she shouldn't have brought her baby out.
A crying child can ruin an evening and, in this case, for the entire restaurant! The author has the right to request another table, just as she could request to be moved for any other reason. Why should her tranquil, romantic evening be ruined by a crying child, particularly not her own? To the crying baby's mother, I say shame on you for feeling offended by someone exercising their rights! If the roles were reversed I'm fairly certain the mother of the crying baby would have similar feelings and quite possibly make a similar request. Your rights should not offend others and you should not subject others to bowing to you due to their exercising their rights! If the baby is very young and fussy, then you should get a babysitter or stay home with your baby until they're of age when they can better articulate their feelings.
Bringing your infant to a fancy restaurant is one of the more selfish and entitled acts of an idiot.
When my kids were small and started making a huge fuss we would pack it in and get our order to go because we were respectful of the other diners right to not hear my kids screaming and interrupting others meal. It's simple respect of others personal space.
Honestly, I feel like the other mom was more of an AH. It’s not like you asked the waiter to make them move, and you weren’t publicly ridiculing them and making a scene. She was for getting defensive about it. I wouldn’t expect a family that brought their crying kids to a restaurant to leave just bc their kids crying. I would ask for us to be moved if it was really bothering me that much. Especially since it’s just myself and my boyfriend. I know it’s already hard enough for parents to go do things with their kids. Why make it harder. She’s the one that got butt hurt for no reason.
Part of the problem with restaurant culture in the USA right now stems from the EXTREAM economic stratification we have gotten ourselves into. What is a high end rare & expensive night out to so many of us is cheep family dinning to others. This can lead to very different behavioral expectations in the same space. I'm so glad the waitstaff was able to move them!
NYAL Restaurants are not for babies. If it was a pizza place, family-type eatery, you expect it, but not in a fancy place.
Assuming restaurant meaning at least semi upscale decent place with an at least semi costly menu. This is no place to bring an infant if you can afford to go to a place like this than you can either afford a babysitter or have a relative take care of the child. If you can't afford a babysitter you shouldn't be dining out as a child can cause a lot of unexpected costs to occur. Either way you should be respectful of those around you as dining out also cost them a decent amount of money and they've likely been looking forward to the evening and deserve to spend it without having to deal with your kid.
What a psychotic mother. Not only does she believe she has the right to inflict her baby on the world, but the very thought of someone *leaving her beneficent presence* infuriates her.
Hubby and I have 3 kids and if we go out for a family to dinner we choose either family friendly time (5-6pm and home intime for bed) or family friendly location (playground or kids room). It's not hard to enjoy a night out as a family without disrupting the people around you. We set the rules for the kids on arrival and we stick to them. When Hubby and I want a nice date night we get a babysitter and we eat later to avoid the issue in this article and I would have definitely asked to be moved if I was in the same situation but I also would have been petty and told the woman off after her comment
NTA. While I agree to a point with your sister, the point is, don't engage. You don't need to explain yourself to a stranger. And your sister should have kept her mouth shut.
It is very annoying to have a baby cry when you want to have a quiet dinner, especially when a busy couple want time away. Over time, though, you get more patience and become more compassionate when kids are just being kids. My advice to the complainers? Chill out! At least, if you do have kids, you don't have to deal with the kid/s at the restaurant. There is always the to-go bag.
The ESH comments are ridiculous. Don't bring your wailing child into adult spaces. No one else chose to have that child. No one else bears the responsibility of enduring that child's screaming. I entirely understand that's how babies are. But if you can't get a sitter for them, maybe forgo the fancy restaurants for a time instead of making your crotchfruit everybody else's problem.
PFFT- Crotchfruit . I agree,I just thought the word was amusing
Load More Replies...My mom will do this and I find it irritating that she insists on troubling the wait staff. Specially since wait staff are assigned certain tables and she'll just point to an empty table and say she would like to sit there. I understand a crying baby in a restaurant. It happens crying babies happen everywhere. So are you going to keep moving. She has moved seats even in church (one without a nursery). It's hard on new parents specially on a first night out. Ex I worked in a party store that sold costumes. They were new parents and struggling to look at costumes for the baby while dad held her. Having babysat for years (unlucky to have not been able to have kids) I recommended he put the baby against his shoulder giving a light rhythmic tapping (like the heartbeat heard in womb) the baby quieted and was asleep within 5 mins he said I was a miracle worker. I just said Ive worked with a lot of kids and babysat for years. The relief on their faces was all I needed.
YEP YEP YEP. When we go out at night for dinner, we REALLT REALLY do not want to be around crying babies or out of control toddlers! Maybe that is the reason we hired a baby sitter for our kids so we could have a nice meal at a restautant.
Children can only be expected to behave for a limited amount of time. When that time is up, it's time to go. Get your food to go and let everyone else eat in peace. Your child does not get to ruin everyone else's dinner. Unless you are paying for everyone else's dinner. No? Didn't think so, leave.
This is why so many "Fancy" restaurants have no children policies. The adults there are trying to enjoy a night out. It could be rare for them to get out with kids. Then for the parents to just let the kid scream is obnoxious. I have 4 kids and 6 grandkids and would never do this or put up with it.
Well, I really hope the other mother with the baby at the restaurant didn’t actually call her a rude name - that’s completely inappropriate behaviour and verbal assault. A baby shouldn’t be at a “fancy” restaurant in the first place. The temporarily child-free for the evening mother shouldn’t have responded to the attack - that just escalates things with unreasonable people.
Kinda reminiscent about an incident from several years ago. Italian joint in Houston, couple with a severely disabled child who cried all the time. Apparently another couple got pissed and reminded the waiter how much money he spent there every week. Then the owner approached the second couple, asked them to leave and "I don't need your weekly business." Understand he sprang for the other couple's meal. He's got my respect.
If you get a baby you should just eat at home till the baby can walk and talk, unless you can get a babysitter ofcourse. It saves you the embarrassment and others the frustration
If the mother of the crying baby overheard what OP said to the waiter then she would know she has a new baby herself and not say she bets she doesn't have kids. This doesn't make sense unless she only heard a sliver of the conversation. On a side note I'd be beyond embarrassed if my baby was screaming at a restaurant. I'd step outside with him
I grew up the oldest (by nearly a decade) of 5. I've spent my entire young life into my early 20s exclusively dining at family friendly places (except in layer years where for my birthday my mom would take me to like an outback or something for a bit of a break from the kids and their limitations via behavior, age and expense). Cause that's what you do when you have kids. These f*****g parents that act so judged or line people are commenting on their parenting just because they don't want to be around a crying baby they didn't sign up for at dinner or on a plane etc.... They never could have handled growing up like i did. In online high school primarily so, from ages 14-19,so that i could babysit my twin infant siblings during the school day and the other two siblings between when they get out of school and my mom gets home. I would sometimes take the twins out for lunch at a local fast food burger place that's mostly designed for kids and families.
It was in Those environments and ages where judgemental hatefulness was all over. Probably not helped by said restaurant appealing to a lot of retired old white people that like to take young grand kids (usually 4-10 in ages). Even going in with my mostly brown family has me feeling awkward at times. But yeah i would come in as someone who was obviously a young teen during school yours with 2 infants i could barely take care of. Like i have terrible dyspraxia and anxieties and idk. I just thought getting out of the house and getting some different food i don't have to make for once might be nice and unfrazzle me a little. Instead i have several tables gossipping about me pretty loudly and making comments about how this is why kids need to keep their legs closed and what a shame it is that i threw away my life so young for a romp. Like bruh i was a virgin and a lesbian. And even if not...wtf that's still messed up, inappropriate, and worth a real dressing down.
Load More Replies...I would have just made up some other reason as to why I wished to move tables. Closer to a window to appreciate the view and the ambience or something. But I don't think OP is an AH. Maybe she could've worded what she said to the infant's mom a little better, or straight up just ignored her, but the crying infant's mom clearly overreacted and jumped the gun on assumptions--situations that are difficult in resisting the urge to respond to.
Why should she have to lie to spare a disrespectful persons feelings?
Load More Replies...Some parents feel like they should be treated with privilege because they have kids no restaurants no movie theaters
Why dont restaurants have a family room which is soundproofed so thst parents who want to go out with their kids can be surrounded by other screaming brats? I disagree with kids being out after 8pm, employ a child minder and let others enjoy their evening in peace and quiet.
Why make people do extra when parents can just do their job and home train their kids? Or keep them there?
Load More Replies...As much as i agree but i dont know if that moms kid has anything wrong with it or not but my Brother brings his baby boy with him in restaurants and he would always cry and my brother always apologize the reason why he brings his baby with is cause his baby has something medical wrong with him and my brother dont trust anyone to look after his son because his first son also had the same problem as this son and he lost his first son all because he left him with a babysitter who he showed what she need to do if the baby starts coughing really badly or stop breathing and now with his second son he takes him everywhere with him fearing the same thing will happen again.
that's one hell of a run-on sentence, mate. but still, that's your brother's choice, not everyone else's. if he has to bring his baby with him everywhere, he needs to accept there are many places he can't go & there are times he'll have to leave early because his baby is a pain in the a**e to everyone else. im very sorry for his loss & completely understand his dilemma, but no amount of apologies or explanations makes a shrieking baby less infuriating, distracting, & painful to listen to. so if he brought his baby to a fancy restaurant, even with his tragic backstory, he would still be an ah for bringing an infant into a place where people are trying to enjoy a peaceful night out.
Load More Replies...YTA You didn't have to say why you needed to move the way that you did, nor did you have to say what you said to the Momma. You have two children, so you should've understood, because I'm sure there were plenty of times that you took your oldest child out as an infant. My daughter and son in law with my oldest granddaughter, took her everywhere, because they didn't want her with a babysitter, but by the time my youngest granddaughter was born, they had learned to ask her MIL to babysit, because I live in another state. When my daughter was a baby, my ex husband, me, and my parents took her everywhere, because we were all over protective with her, because she was a miracle baby after I had a miscarriage, and we had one bad babysitter incident, and I'm so glad that my Momma came home early, and caught it. We later decided after my daughter was a year old to let our upstairs neighbor's daughter watch her, and she was a wonderful, wonderful babysitter. Lighten up on other parents.
Bruh😑. Op asked to move, how is that being snobby and entitled?
Load More Replies...a baby, colic or no, doesn't belong in a fancy restaurant. having nobody to watch the baby is no excuse to subject others to a shrieking infant when they're trying to enjoy a nice meal too. a screaming baby is a screaming baby no matter the reason & it's obnoxious as hell. the world doesn't revolve around you just because you have a child. show some basic decency before asking others for understanding.
Load More Replies...Maybe YOU don't mind a baby crying when you're in a fancy place to enjoy spending time with adults, but a lot of people do. I don't have kids, I can't complain if I'm in a park or McDonalds where kids are abound, but if I pick a quiet place I don't want crying babies. I'd offer help if it's a single parent struggling with shopping or transport, but it's really not at all my responsibility to help two parents to control their own kid in a place they shouldn't really be, it's not only bothering other people but also disturbing the baby's sleep
Load More Replies...I grew up in and around my Grandfathers rather posh restaurant, and I believe that until a child can sit through a meal, without needing to get down from the table early, they shouldn't be in the restaurant. I know it may be unpopular but with hot foodstuffs being carried around, it's not fair on other patrons or the serving staff.
Inam a chef and it really gets problematic when people let their kids run around the restaurant. It puts everyone in danger. I have tripped over kids mucking about, they even come into the kitchen which is an absolute no. No unauthoruzed staff are allowed in the kitchen least of a dueing service. I dont take no for an answer. I will swnd the kid back to their table and tell the parent they need to stay seated. Also parents who let their kids take off their shoes and run around..yo do you know how many glasses get broken in a restaurant? Stupid. When I owned a streerfood style restaurant I literally had a parent change their 2 year olds shitty diaper at the.table. i knew they did it becauae of the god awful smell. They acred liike it was cute. Wth! I wa sso stunned I couldnt say anything, partly because if I did it would have been Gordon Ramsey level anger. I love seeing well behaved kids at a restaurant. Kods that appreciate the experience and who are being included in the experience.
Load More Replies...I had something somewhat similar happen to me, but on a plane. Kid (around 4yrs old id say) sitting behind me kicking my seat, screaming like crazy while the parents did absolutely nothing. I pushed the button to call the stewardess whom came over. I politely asked if I could change seats because the parents behind me weren't considering anyone around them- but I politely said it very loud. Stewardess said no problem, but then the parents got mad At Me! Actually having the nerve to say 'I could've asked them to curb (their own) kid!' in stead of calling the stewardess...I flipped around stunned and replied for everyone to hear 'I shouldn't have to!'
I had a kid kicking my seat. I, very politely, asked the mother to have her child stop. She basically ignored me. I'd finally had it & stood (to the best of my limited ability), turned around and SCREAMED in the kid's face "STOP KICKING MY F*****G SEAT". Not my best moment I will admit, swearing at a child is beyond uncool - BUT, it did get him to stop kicking my seat.
Load More Replies...NTA. These, "Sorry, you're just gonna have to put up with my kids" parents are nauseating.
oh heck no, NTA all the way. I'm a parent to small children and I am OVERLY apologetic if my kids are making a ruckus in a restaurant or anywhere else. OP didn't say anything rude to the parents, they just asked the waiter if they could move, a totally reasonable request.
Just don't take it out in your kids with verbal or physical abuse. Especially if they are or even just might be neurodivergent in any way. My mom was really really embarrassed to be with her (mostly ADHD and also me, autistic) kids in public and made it no secret. Often turning to violence, name calling, and shaming once we were in private. This one time when i was 13 my 2 ADHD bros were running around and getting into everything i was told to help round them up. And j ended up telling one bro that being this way is why we can't ever have a nice time out and how much this ruins the day for the entire family and now he's too old to have no self control etc. All things my mom often screams at them. But cause i said it in public she made this big scene about publicly shutting me down and protecting her kids from judgment and then quietly hisses at me that if other people heard me saying those things they might call CPS on us and I'd go to prison for child abuse (since I'm not parent)
Load More Replies...Nta, why would you try to take a baby to a place like that? He won’t understand or enjoy it! “Nothing we could do” like she has never heard of sitters…
They went for their enjoyment. And sometimes you just can't get a sitter. That's why they took him. There's nothing wrong with that. But there WAS something she could do. She could have taken him outside, or, if she couldn't calm him down, boxes her food up to go. That's where she went wrong.
Load More Replies...I think ALL restaurants should have a child-free dinning area. Further more, it should be behind closed doors. I am a mother of 3 that are each two years apart. Mine were not allowed out of their chairs until it was time to leave. Plus, as babies if they started crying we paid our tab and left so others could enjoy their meal. I just don't get people inflicting rudeness onto others.
Sounds like you're a considerate parent. And I agree about the child free dining area with the door. The leisure centre my boyfriend works out at has a child free area, but there's no door.
Load More Replies...Obviously it's pricey since OP said it's a nice, fancy restaurant. That being said, most people don't get to go to fancy restaurants often, so when they do go, it's understandable that they want it to be a pleasant experience. Even if you go often, it doesn't mean you have to sit through your meal being serenaded by shrieks and cries. OP and her husband just wanted to have a nice, quiet dinner and to give themselves a break from kids. I wonder if the other mom heard everything or just partially hence she got really offended.
Even if they had been a couple without children, they didn't pay to have to listen to her baby cry. She should just accept that she's wrong for bringing a baby to a restaurant. Baby's cry, so take a minute to consider where not to bring a baby. Get a sitter, it's not that difficult. And if someone is going to great lengths not to be disturbed by your baby - have the grace to be embarrassed instead of getting offended.
Load More Replies...Old joke : "On a plane I asked the flight attendant to move me to a new seat because I was next to a crying baby. Turns out they won't do that if it's your baby."
NTA. The staff should have seated the couple with the baby far off from other diners in the first place. Asking to move to another table was a reasonable solution. The parents had no right to complain about anything and should have left their child at home with a sitter.
I'm a waitress and I absolutely hate crying babies. I work for a small restaurant and if a baby cries it almost echoes and its frustrating. If your kid is too young then you shouldn't take them to restaurants, because they disturb other people and it's honestly called respect. I don't mind if a kid cries once or twice, but if they keep crying then you should probably bring them home. And if your kids run around the restaurant you should learn to parent them, because it's unacceptable that you let your kids run around. No, people don't appreciate your children running close to their table, crying and screaming. I like kids and I've seen VERY polite ones that would sit at the table, draw, talk to their parents and it really shows what kind of education they are given.
I went to dinner at Red Lobster with my husband years ago, and we were seated against the wall, in what used to be the smoking section. So kind of a smallish, semi closed off area. There was a good sized family seated at a couple pushed together tables, in the middle of the area. They had two or three small children who were literally running laps around the whole section. They ran right past our table shrieking and laughing, almost hitting my elbow, several times. The wait staff was literally tripping over them, sometimes with fully loaded trays of hot food. And the parents just ignored them. Most obnoxious experience I've ever had. I couldn't believe the management didn't say anything to them. If I had been the me I am now, I definitely would have said something. Back then, all I could do was watch in disgust. My own son is 14 now. But even at a very young age, he knew better than to act a fool in public. Anywhere.
Load More Replies...OP is definitely NTA. The other mom is. Not for bringing a baby to a restaurant, and not for struggling to settle the child, and I can understand she was probably stressed and possibly defensive about the fact her baby kept crying. No, the reason the other mom is the AH is her verbal attack of OP and particularly her comment that OP probably doesn't have kids. That is not on. You can't say that to a stranger - you don't know if they've lost a child or struggled to conceive. (Even with acquaintances/friends, you don't necessarily know their full history or if they are silently struggling with fertility issues/miscarriage.) So yeah, the other mom was the AH, and she's lucky she just got the response she did from OP.
While I agree the other mom was TA for the things she said, I also think she was wrong to bring the baby to the fancy restaurant in the first place. Want to go out for a nice evening, parents? Spring for a sitter. Can't afford it? Then go someplace known to be family friendly or have takeout at home. You do not have the right to ruin everyone else's time.
Load More Replies...We were staying on the Queen Mary once in Long Beach California we had a decent room the first night no problems the second night they move kids right next-door to our room and they were loud having a great time I went to the front desk and ask them to have us moved they said they would tell the kids to be quiet I said no those kids are making memories with their family I don't want them to be disturbed if you just move us Everything will be OK the manager overheard our generous gesture of moving so they could continue their evening undisturbed and put us in the best room on the ship for the night it was amazing a little bit of niceness went along way and I bet those kids still remember the fun they had on the queen Mary that night 15 years ago!!!
"The manager overheard our generous gesture of moving so they could continue their evening undisturbed and put us in the best room on the ship for the night". And then everyone clapped. I mean, I'm not saying that this story is made up but the style gives me serious Linkedin/coaching vibes.
Load More Replies...Definitely NTA and your sister is dumb for saying you were. I hate when humans lack total perspective like that.
As a mother of a one year old I completely find their request to move okay. I avoided going out with my baby when she was crying a lot because I actually take the feelings of others into consideration and don’t feel the world revolves me because I spit out a spawn. It’s my problem to deal with not everyone else’s. Luckily my baby is really well behaved in public so I can take her out, but if she ever got loud or fussy I would go outside until she calmed down. I refuse to be that inconsiderate
I took my kids to places like Mc D's and they learned manners as they got older. So by the time they were able to sit on a booster chair and feed themselves we went to fancy places. The mom with the screaming kid should have gotten a baby-sitter or at least to them to a kid friendly place.
As a mom, I think you should not be bringing your baby out to fancy restaurants. Everyone needs to eat but tiny kids are unpredictable and there are drive thrust and family restaurants. There are babysitters or take out. Enough with expecting the world to revolve around you. What happened to decorum and manners. What happened to adult only spaces??????
I didn't take my kids to anything more fancy than a Pizza Hut before they were 5 and even then just during the day. Where ever we were with them as babies I spent most if the time in corridors walking them up and down to avoid crying. Yes I ate cold food mostly. On a bus I would get off at the next stop and walk for a bit instead. Better that than aggravating everyone in a restaurant or other public place. Also, I don't like the sound of crying either hence the coping mechanisms to avoid it.
My baby is 3 and a half months and we take him with us everywhere. He’s never cried because when he starts fussing we just give him a bottle right away and he quiets down. I agree that if he was crying I would take him away till he calmed down cause nobody want’s to listen to that myself included. I also would not leave him with a sitter while he’s so young cause Im paranoid and would worry too much.
NTA. I am a Chef. When I have the opportunity to go out and enjoy a fine meal in a restaurant that prides itself in providing the "experience" I don't want someone else's child ruining that for me. Nor do I want them ruining the experience of my food for others. This is a problem with our over entitled selfish society. Just because you have a right to enjoy some thing doesn't give you the right ruin it for others; they have the same rights and expectations. The masses do not need to conform to the individual. The reverse is, and always has been, true.
This is actually one of the reasons a lot of high end restaurants ban children, especially babies/toddlers. They can be loud, disruptive, even dangerous to patrons or servers (hot food and/or drinks, lots of people, etc). While it might not be a popular rule, it does have its purpose and reasoning. If the mother in question couldn't handle others requesting to move (as happens a lot in EVERY restaurant) she shouldn't have brought her baby out.
A crying child can ruin an evening and, in this case, for the entire restaurant! The author has the right to request another table, just as she could request to be moved for any other reason. Why should her tranquil, romantic evening be ruined by a crying child, particularly not her own? To the crying baby's mother, I say shame on you for feeling offended by someone exercising their rights! If the roles were reversed I'm fairly certain the mother of the crying baby would have similar feelings and quite possibly make a similar request. Your rights should not offend others and you should not subject others to bowing to you due to their exercising their rights! If the baby is very young and fussy, then you should get a babysitter or stay home with your baby until they're of age when they can better articulate their feelings.
Bringing your infant to a fancy restaurant is one of the more selfish and entitled acts of an idiot.
When my kids were small and started making a huge fuss we would pack it in and get our order to go because we were respectful of the other diners right to not hear my kids screaming and interrupting others meal. It's simple respect of others personal space.
Honestly, I feel like the other mom was more of an AH. It’s not like you asked the waiter to make them move, and you weren’t publicly ridiculing them and making a scene. She was for getting defensive about it. I wouldn’t expect a family that brought their crying kids to a restaurant to leave just bc their kids crying. I would ask for us to be moved if it was really bothering me that much. Especially since it’s just myself and my boyfriend. I know it’s already hard enough for parents to go do things with their kids. Why make it harder. She’s the one that got butt hurt for no reason.
Part of the problem with restaurant culture in the USA right now stems from the EXTREAM economic stratification we have gotten ourselves into. What is a high end rare & expensive night out to so many of us is cheep family dinning to others. This can lead to very different behavioral expectations in the same space. I'm so glad the waitstaff was able to move them!
NYAL Restaurants are not for babies. If it was a pizza place, family-type eatery, you expect it, but not in a fancy place.
Assuming restaurant meaning at least semi upscale decent place with an at least semi costly menu. This is no place to bring an infant if you can afford to go to a place like this than you can either afford a babysitter or have a relative take care of the child. If you can't afford a babysitter you shouldn't be dining out as a child can cause a lot of unexpected costs to occur. Either way you should be respectful of those around you as dining out also cost them a decent amount of money and they've likely been looking forward to the evening and deserve to spend it without having to deal with your kid.
What a psychotic mother. Not only does she believe she has the right to inflict her baby on the world, but the very thought of someone *leaving her beneficent presence* infuriates her.
Hubby and I have 3 kids and if we go out for a family to dinner we choose either family friendly time (5-6pm and home intime for bed) or family friendly location (playground or kids room). It's not hard to enjoy a night out as a family without disrupting the people around you. We set the rules for the kids on arrival and we stick to them. When Hubby and I want a nice date night we get a babysitter and we eat later to avoid the issue in this article and I would have definitely asked to be moved if I was in the same situation but I also would have been petty and told the woman off after her comment
NTA. While I agree to a point with your sister, the point is, don't engage. You don't need to explain yourself to a stranger. And your sister should have kept her mouth shut.
It is very annoying to have a baby cry when you want to have a quiet dinner, especially when a busy couple want time away. Over time, though, you get more patience and become more compassionate when kids are just being kids. My advice to the complainers? Chill out! At least, if you do have kids, you don't have to deal with the kid/s at the restaurant. There is always the to-go bag.
The ESH comments are ridiculous. Don't bring your wailing child into adult spaces. No one else chose to have that child. No one else bears the responsibility of enduring that child's screaming. I entirely understand that's how babies are. But if you can't get a sitter for them, maybe forgo the fancy restaurants for a time instead of making your crotchfruit everybody else's problem.
PFFT- Crotchfruit . I agree,I just thought the word was amusing
Load More Replies...My mom will do this and I find it irritating that she insists on troubling the wait staff. Specially since wait staff are assigned certain tables and she'll just point to an empty table and say she would like to sit there. I understand a crying baby in a restaurant. It happens crying babies happen everywhere. So are you going to keep moving. She has moved seats even in church (one without a nursery). It's hard on new parents specially on a first night out. Ex I worked in a party store that sold costumes. They were new parents and struggling to look at costumes for the baby while dad held her. Having babysat for years (unlucky to have not been able to have kids) I recommended he put the baby against his shoulder giving a light rhythmic tapping (like the heartbeat heard in womb) the baby quieted and was asleep within 5 mins he said I was a miracle worker. I just said Ive worked with a lot of kids and babysat for years. The relief on their faces was all I needed.
YEP YEP YEP. When we go out at night for dinner, we REALLT REALLY do not want to be around crying babies or out of control toddlers! Maybe that is the reason we hired a baby sitter for our kids so we could have a nice meal at a restautant.
Children can only be expected to behave for a limited amount of time. When that time is up, it's time to go. Get your food to go and let everyone else eat in peace. Your child does not get to ruin everyone else's dinner. Unless you are paying for everyone else's dinner. No? Didn't think so, leave.
This is why so many "Fancy" restaurants have no children policies. The adults there are trying to enjoy a night out. It could be rare for them to get out with kids. Then for the parents to just let the kid scream is obnoxious. I have 4 kids and 6 grandkids and would never do this or put up with it.
Well, I really hope the other mother with the baby at the restaurant didn’t actually call her a rude name - that’s completely inappropriate behaviour and verbal assault. A baby shouldn’t be at a “fancy” restaurant in the first place. The temporarily child-free for the evening mother shouldn’t have responded to the attack - that just escalates things with unreasonable people.
Kinda reminiscent about an incident from several years ago. Italian joint in Houston, couple with a severely disabled child who cried all the time. Apparently another couple got pissed and reminded the waiter how much money he spent there every week. Then the owner approached the second couple, asked them to leave and "I don't need your weekly business." Understand he sprang for the other couple's meal. He's got my respect.
If you get a baby you should just eat at home till the baby can walk and talk, unless you can get a babysitter ofcourse. It saves you the embarrassment and others the frustration
If the mother of the crying baby overheard what OP said to the waiter then she would know she has a new baby herself and not say she bets she doesn't have kids. This doesn't make sense unless she only heard a sliver of the conversation. On a side note I'd be beyond embarrassed if my baby was screaming at a restaurant. I'd step outside with him
I grew up the oldest (by nearly a decade) of 5. I've spent my entire young life into my early 20s exclusively dining at family friendly places (except in layer years where for my birthday my mom would take me to like an outback or something for a bit of a break from the kids and their limitations via behavior, age and expense). Cause that's what you do when you have kids. These f*****g parents that act so judged or line people are commenting on their parenting just because they don't want to be around a crying baby they didn't sign up for at dinner or on a plane etc.... They never could have handled growing up like i did. In online high school primarily so, from ages 14-19,so that i could babysit my twin infant siblings during the school day and the other two siblings between when they get out of school and my mom gets home. I would sometimes take the twins out for lunch at a local fast food burger place that's mostly designed for kids and families.
It was in Those environments and ages where judgemental hatefulness was all over. Probably not helped by said restaurant appealing to a lot of retired old white people that like to take young grand kids (usually 4-10 in ages). Even going in with my mostly brown family has me feeling awkward at times. But yeah i would come in as someone who was obviously a young teen during school yours with 2 infants i could barely take care of. Like i have terrible dyspraxia and anxieties and idk. I just thought getting out of the house and getting some different food i don't have to make for once might be nice and unfrazzle me a little. Instead i have several tables gossipping about me pretty loudly and making comments about how this is why kids need to keep their legs closed and what a shame it is that i threw away my life so young for a romp. Like bruh i was a virgin and a lesbian. And even if not...wtf that's still messed up, inappropriate, and worth a real dressing down.
Load More Replies...I would have just made up some other reason as to why I wished to move tables. Closer to a window to appreciate the view and the ambience or something. But I don't think OP is an AH. Maybe she could've worded what she said to the infant's mom a little better, or straight up just ignored her, but the crying infant's mom clearly overreacted and jumped the gun on assumptions--situations that are difficult in resisting the urge to respond to.
Why should she have to lie to spare a disrespectful persons feelings?
Load More Replies...Some parents feel like they should be treated with privilege because they have kids no restaurants no movie theaters
Why dont restaurants have a family room which is soundproofed so thst parents who want to go out with their kids can be surrounded by other screaming brats? I disagree with kids being out after 8pm, employ a child minder and let others enjoy their evening in peace and quiet.
Why make people do extra when parents can just do their job and home train their kids? Or keep them there?
Load More Replies...As much as i agree but i dont know if that moms kid has anything wrong with it or not but my Brother brings his baby boy with him in restaurants and he would always cry and my brother always apologize the reason why he brings his baby with is cause his baby has something medical wrong with him and my brother dont trust anyone to look after his son because his first son also had the same problem as this son and he lost his first son all because he left him with a babysitter who he showed what she need to do if the baby starts coughing really badly or stop breathing and now with his second son he takes him everywhere with him fearing the same thing will happen again.
that's one hell of a run-on sentence, mate. but still, that's your brother's choice, not everyone else's. if he has to bring his baby with him everywhere, he needs to accept there are many places he can't go & there are times he'll have to leave early because his baby is a pain in the a**e to everyone else. im very sorry for his loss & completely understand his dilemma, but no amount of apologies or explanations makes a shrieking baby less infuriating, distracting, & painful to listen to. so if he brought his baby to a fancy restaurant, even with his tragic backstory, he would still be an ah for bringing an infant into a place where people are trying to enjoy a peaceful night out.
Load More Replies...YTA You didn't have to say why you needed to move the way that you did, nor did you have to say what you said to the Momma. You have two children, so you should've understood, because I'm sure there were plenty of times that you took your oldest child out as an infant. My daughter and son in law with my oldest granddaughter, took her everywhere, because they didn't want her with a babysitter, but by the time my youngest granddaughter was born, they had learned to ask her MIL to babysit, because I live in another state. When my daughter was a baby, my ex husband, me, and my parents took her everywhere, because we were all over protective with her, because she was a miracle baby after I had a miscarriage, and we had one bad babysitter incident, and I'm so glad that my Momma came home early, and caught it. We later decided after my daughter was a year old to let our upstairs neighbor's daughter watch her, and she was a wonderful, wonderful babysitter. Lighten up on other parents.
Bruh😑. Op asked to move, how is that being snobby and entitled?
Load More Replies...a baby, colic or no, doesn't belong in a fancy restaurant. having nobody to watch the baby is no excuse to subject others to a shrieking infant when they're trying to enjoy a nice meal too. a screaming baby is a screaming baby no matter the reason & it's obnoxious as hell. the world doesn't revolve around you just because you have a child. show some basic decency before asking others for understanding.
Load More Replies...Maybe YOU don't mind a baby crying when you're in a fancy place to enjoy spending time with adults, but a lot of people do. I don't have kids, I can't complain if I'm in a park or McDonalds where kids are abound, but if I pick a quiet place I don't want crying babies. I'd offer help if it's a single parent struggling with shopping or transport, but it's really not at all my responsibility to help two parents to control their own kid in a place they shouldn't really be, it's not only bothering other people but also disturbing the baby's sleep
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