Mom Causes A Scene At A Restaurant After Overhearing That This Couple Wants To Switch Tables Due To Her Crying Baby
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A confused woman who was out with her husband for the first time after their baby was born turned to the subreddit ‘Am I the [Jerk?]’ to get an outside perspective on the way she and her partner responded to a particularly noisy infant nearby.
Using the nickname Ok_Candy7966, she said that the couple got a babysitter and went to a very nice restaurant, so they really put a lot of effort (including money) into making the night worth remembering. So they were really frustrated with the “extras” that weren’t on the menu — the screams and cries.
Continue scrolling to read how everything unfolded.
This woman and her husband wanted to get away from their family life and do something as a couple, so they went to a fancy restaurant
Image credits: Sarah Chai (not the actual photo)
But their night took an unpleasant turn when the baby next to them started bawling their eyes out
Image credits: Alan Light (not the actual photo)
Credits: Ok_Candy7966
This topic has been resurfacing on the internet in one form or the other for quite some time now. Grant Achatz, the Chicago chef of Michelin-starred restaurant Alinea, caused an uproar a couple of years ago when he tweeted that someone brought an 8-month-old baby into his (very expensive) restaurant and the other diners weren’t happy about it. He asked his followers for advice, and, just like this post, it also generated a variety of opinions.
Many people appear to agree that the answer to how should all parties handle the situation lies in the setting. Vincenzo Mangiafridda, the owner of 83 ½, a restaurant in New York City, supports this line of thinking.
“As a father of toddlers, I encourage parents to select kid-friendly restaurants when they dine with younger children,” he said. “My wife rarely eats at 83 ½ because our son is not old enough to behave appropriately in such a setting.”
While Mangiafridda hasn’t enacted a ban or definitive policy, he’s aware of how a crying child can affect his company’s reputation among diners. “My business is my livelihood, and its success is dependent upon providing an enjoyable experience for all our customers.”
And it’s not just restaurants that are trying to figure it out. Some airlines have also joined in on the no-kids trend. Malaysia Airlines, for example, made headlines in the past for banning infants from first-class cabins and creating kid-free zones in economy, while Singapore’s Scoot Airlines introduced the ‘ScootinSilence’ upgrade, barring children under the age of 12 from particular rows. Then there’s AirAsia, which has the ‘Quiet Zone’ for passengers 10 years and above.
But you can’t discreetly exit a plane to give other people’s eardrums and nerves a break. You can in a restaurant, though. And that’s what one should do if one’s child is bothering everyone around them. At least for a little while. Do you agree? Let us know in the comments.
Most people think the couple did nothing wrong
But some believe everyone sucks here (ESH)
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I grew up in and around my Grandfathers rather posh restaurant, and I believe that until a child can sit through a meal, without needing to get down from the table early, they shouldn't be in the restaurant. I know it may be unpopular but with hot foodstuffs being carried around, it's not fair on other patrons or the serving staff.
Inam a chef and it really gets problematic when people let their kids run around the restaurant. It puts everyone in danger. I have tripped over kids mucking about, they even come into the kitchen which is an absolute no. No unauthoruzed staff are allowed in the kitchen least of a dueing service. I dont take no for an answer. I will swnd the kid back to their table and tell the parent they need to stay seated. Also parents who let their kids take off their shoes and run around..yo do you know how many glasses get broken in a restaurant? Stupid. When I owned a streerfood style restaurant I literally had a parent change their 2 year olds shitty diaper at the.table. i knew they did it becauae of the god awful smell. They acred liike it was cute. Wth! I wa sso stunned I couldnt say anything, partly because if I did it would have been Gordon Ramsey level anger. I love seeing well behaved kids at a restaurant. Kods that appreciate the experience and who are being included in the experience.
And not with a phone in their hand with a cartoon blasting. That has to stop too. No one goes out to eat to listen to cartoons blasting from your kids phone or your kids phone or your kids phone. If you brought them spwnd time with them.
I agree with you. The restaurants bare some of the blame for permitting these selfish parents in wirh their baby or young kid, but the parents obviously have no common decency or care about others.
Your child is not my problem, period. If I am discreetly and politely asking a waiter to be moved and not engaging with you, then you should STFU and not insert yourself into the situation at all. It's your fault my meal, that I am paying for is being ruined to start with. OP is NTA 100%, the other mom isn't an AH for having a baby out in public, but her and the father are both mega AHs because they are ruining other peoples time out of the house; and to top it off decide to be smart @sses about it.
I bring my kid everywhere too, & while I didn't take him to a movie theater until he was old enough to sit quietly through a movie, yes , I absolutely would have brought him to a fancy restaurant, even as a baby. **BUT** If he had started crying, had a tantrum, or otherwise made a scene, I would (& have) immediately take him outside. Babies are part of life. & I had no problems with kids being at my own wedding (though this is a personal choice, & if someone wants a child free wedding, that's their choice, no judgement). But parents have to be responsible about it. Just because they can't understand and regulate, is not an excuse to let them annoy everyone else. So go ahead & bring your kid with you. Just take them outside, or leave, if they get like that. It's pretty simple, really. And while I don't think what the baby's mother said was appropriate, I think it's possible she could have been exhausted & frustrated & vented her feelings at OP. Still not right. And OP is definitely NTA.
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😂I bring my 4 kids everywhere you don’t like it you can f**k right off. My newborn cries all well that’s life.
Ew
Typical selfish parent. No respect for other people. No one wants to hear your whiny brat out in public so take it home. Restaurants and weddings are no place for young kids. If you showed up at my wedding with your kids I would have you escorted right out whether you like it or not.
If you invited me to your wedding, and my kid couldn't come, I'd send you a nice card, but I wouldn't come. Simple as that. No hard feelings. Your wedding, your choice. But it's not right to say babies don't belong. What we should say, is that parents need to start being responsible. They need to start actually being parents. And I say this as a parent, myself.
Gonna jump in on the children at weddings thing here. It really depends on the couple, the families and the venue. I understand people not wanting to risk a bunch of little kids running around a nice venue, or crying mid-vows. But I also get parents wanting to include their kids, or not wanting to leave them with a sitter, especially if they have to travel. We got married in a park so people's kids could play nearby during the reception. But we also wanted something pretty casual, (had a good pizza place cater and a sno cone truck) But something more formal might be more difficult with young kids. As long as everyone is on the same page long before the actual wedding (with time to decide on whether parents want to hire a sitter or stay home) there's nothing wrong with either wanting to include the children or to be a child-free wedding.
Weddings are about family, kids are part of that family and should be included. The best part of my wedding was my 3 year old nephew rolling up and down the aisle during the ceremony and playing with the train of my dress. The best part of some friends' wedding was dancing with thier very young neices, nephews and cousins. Weddings are absolutely where small children belong.
Typical? I wonder how often you were a pain in your parents a*s, or a pain in the a*s to those around you. And your parents were likely viewed as typical….
Well screw u b***h because they don’t belong everywhere like weddings restaurants and movies
Yes they do. BUT parents need to be responsible for them, since they can't be responsible for themselves. If they make a scene, take them outside. Period. And I say that as a mother myself.
For why does a baby BELONG at a wedding? What is it contributing?
YOUR life. Keep your mewling brats at home.
I had something somewhat similar happen to me, but on a plane. Kid (around 4yrs old id say) sitting behind me kicking my seat, screaming like crazy while the parents did absolutely nothing. I pushed the button to call the stewardess whom came over. I politely asked if I could change seats because the parents behind me weren't considering anyone around them- but I politely said it very loud. Stewardess said no problem, but then the parents got mad At Me! Actually having the nerve to say 'I could've asked them to curb (their own) kid!' in stead of calling the stewardess...I flipped around stunned and replied for everyone to hear 'I shouldn't have to!'
I had a kid kicking my seat. I, very politely, asked the mother to have her child stop. She basically ignored me. I'd finally had it & stood (to the best of my limited ability), turned around and SCREAMED in the kid's face "STOP KICKING MY F*****G SEAT". Not my best moment I will admit, swearing at a child is beyond uncool - BUT, it did get him to stop kicking my seat.
Yelling at a misbehaving kid is cool. Smacking the sh*t out of the little hellspawn and it's useless parents is technically uncool. So your still cool.
Smacking the parents would have been fine, the kid no that wouldn't have been cool. I feel for the poster though having my seat being kicked would really p**s me off.
The only reason they got mad is now they felt embarrassed. A 2nd red flag that confirms they don’t care and are probably bullies that only do something if someone tries anything.
I usually bypass the parents and tell the child to stop.
But again, my thought is 'Why should I have to be parenting someone else's kid?' ya know?
Yes, and some people seem to take it personally that someone else points their children are misbehaving and go on the defensive warpath instead of appropriately addressing the situation.
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The fact you call them “stewardesses” says more than anything else you’ve said.
consider the possiblity that English may not be his first language.
It often doesn't mean anything nefarious. Some people just haven't updated their vocabularies which, in most cases, is not a big deal until someone makes it a big deal. Languages change slowly however they (among other things) have changed rather rapidly in the last fifty years so it's no wonder not everyone is up on every single term. (Edit: I'm in my thirties so use "flight attendant" but I'm not going to s**t on someone for using an outdated term that, in the grand scheme of things, is mild in terms of offensiveness.)
Wait, what is the proper job title for that line of work now? I don't get how it's offensive to the person above
Flight attendant.
Depends on what their choice of pronouns is??
It's a name, get over it
I grew up in and around my Grandfathers rather posh restaurant, and I believe that until a child can sit through a meal, without needing to get down from the table early, they shouldn't be in the restaurant. I know it may be unpopular but with hot foodstuffs being carried around, it's not fair on other patrons or the serving staff.
Inam a chef and it really gets problematic when people let their kids run around the restaurant. It puts everyone in danger. I have tripped over kids mucking about, they even come into the kitchen which is an absolute no. No unauthoruzed staff are allowed in the kitchen least of a dueing service. I dont take no for an answer. I will swnd the kid back to their table and tell the parent they need to stay seated. Also parents who let their kids take off their shoes and run around..yo do you know how many glasses get broken in a restaurant? Stupid. When I owned a streerfood style restaurant I literally had a parent change their 2 year olds shitty diaper at the.table. i knew they did it becauae of the god awful smell. They acred liike it was cute. Wth! I wa sso stunned I couldnt say anything, partly because if I did it would have been Gordon Ramsey level anger. I love seeing well behaved kids at a restaurant. Kods that appreciate the experience and who are being included in the experience.
And not with a phone in their hand with a cartoon blasting. That has to stop too. No one goes out to eat to listen to cartoons blasting from your kids phone or your kids phone or your kids phone. If you brought them spwnd time with them.
I agree with you. The restaurants bare some of the blame for permitting these selfish parents in wirh their baby or young kid, but the parents obviously have no common decency or care about others.
Your child is not my problem, period. If I am discreetly and politely asking a waiter to be moved and not engaging with you, then you should STFU and not insert yourself into the situation at all. It's your fault my meal, that I am paying for is being ruined to start with. OP is NTA 100%, the other mom isn't an AH for having a baby out in public, but her and the father are both mega AHs because they are ruining other peoples time out of the house; and to top it off decide to be smart @sses about it.
I bring my kid everywhere too, & while I didn't take him to a movie theater until he was old enough to sit quietly through a movie, yes , I absolutely would have brought him to a fancy restaurant, even as a baby. **BUT** If he had started crying, had a tantrum, or otherwise made a scene, I would (& have) immediately take him outside. Babies are part of life. & I had no problems with kids being at my own wedding (though this is a personal choice, & if someone wants a child free wedding, that's their choice, no judgement). But parents have to be responsible about it. Just because they can't understand and regulate, is not an excuse to let them annoy everyone else. So go ahead & bring your kid with you. Just take them outside, or leave, if they get like that. It's pretty simple, really. And while I don't think what the baby's mother said was appropriate, I think it's possible she could have been exhausted & frustrated & vented her feelings at OP. Still not right. And OP is definitely NTA.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
😂I bring my 4 kids everywhere you don’t like it you can f**k right off. My newborn cries all well that’s life.
Ew
Typical selfish parent. No respect for other people. No one wants to hear your whiny brat out in public so take it home. Restaurants and weddings are no place for young kids. If you showed up at my wedding with your kids I would have you escorted right out whether you like it or not.
If you invited me to your wedding, and my kid couldn't come, I'd send you a nice card, but I wouldn't come. Simple as that. No hard feelings. Your wedding, your choice. But it's not right to say babies don't belong. What we should say, is that parents need to start being responsible. They need to start actually being parents. And I say this as a parent, myself.
Gonna jump in on the children at weddings thing here. It really depends on the couple, the families and the venue. I understand people not wanting to risk a bunch of little kids running around a nice venue, or crying mid-vows. But I also get parents wanting to include their kids, or not wanting to leave them with a sitter, especially if they have to travel. We got married in a park so people's kids could play nearby during the reception. But we also wanted something pretty casual, (had a good pizza place cater and a sno cone truck) But something more formal might be more difficult with young kids. As long as everyone is on the same page long before the actual wedding (with time to decide on whether parents want to hire a sitter or stay home) there's nothing wrong with either wanting to include the children or to be a child-free wedding.
Weddings are about family, kids are part of that family and should be included. The best part of my wedding was my 3 year old nephew rolling up and down the aisle during the ceremony and playing with the train of my dress. The best part of some friends' wedding was dancing with thier very young neices, nephews and cousins. Weddings are absolutely where small children belong.
Typical? I wonder how often you were a pain in your parents a*s, or a pain in the a*s to those around you. And your parents were likely viewed as typical….
Well screw u b***h because they don’t belong everywhere like weddings restaurants and movies
Yes they do. BUT parents need to be responsible for them, since they can't be responsible for themselves. If they make a scene, take them outside. Period. And I say that as a mother myself.
For why does a baby BELONG at a wedding? What is it contributing?
YOUR life. Keep your mewling brats at home.
I had something somewhat similar happen to me, but on a plane. Kid (around 4yrs old id say) sitting behind me kicking my seat, screaming like crazy while the parents did absolutely nothing. I pushed the button to call the stewardess whom came over. I politely asked if I could change seats because the parents behind me weren't considering anyone around them- but I politely said it very loud. Stewardess said no problem, but then the parents got mad At Me! Actually having the nerve to say 'I could've asked them to curb (their own) kid!' in stead of calling the stewardess...I flipped around stunned and replied for everyone to hear 'I shouldn't have to!'
I had a kid kicking my seat. I, very politely, asked the mother to have her child stop. She basically ignored me. I'd finally had it & stood (to the best of my limited ability), turned around and SCREAMED in the kid's face "STOP KICKING MY F*****G SEAT". Not my best moment I will admit, swearing at a child is beyond uncool - BUT, it did get him to stop kicking my seat.
Yelling at a misbehaving kid is cool. Smacking the sh*t out of the little hellspawn and it's useless parents is technically uncool. So your still cool.
Smacking the parents would have been fine, the kid no that wouldn't have been cool. I feel for the poster though having my seat being kicked would really p**s me off.
The only reason they got mad is now they felt embarrassed. A 2nd red flag that confirms they don’t care and are probably bullies that only do something if someone tries anything.
I usually bypass the parents and tell the child to stop.
But again, my thought is 'Why should I have to be parenting someone else's kid?' ya know?
Yes, and some people seem to take it personally that someone else points their children are misbehaving and go on the defensive warpath instead of appropriately addressing the situation.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
The fact you call them “stewardesses” says more than anything else you’ve said.
consider the possiblity that English may not be his first language.
It often doesn't mean anything nefarious. Some people just haven't updated their vocabularies which, in most cases, is not a big deal until someone makes it a big deal. Languages change slowly however they (among other things) have changed rather rapidly in the last fifty years so it's no wonder not everyone is up on every single term. (Edit: I'm in my thirties so use "flight attendant" but I'm not going to s**t on someone for using an outdated term that, in the grand scheme of things, is mild in terms of offensiveness.)
Wait, what is the proper job title for that line of work now? I don't get how it's offensive to the person above
Flight attendant.
Depends on what their choice of pronouns is??
It's a name, get over it