Article created by: Jurgita Dominauskaitė

There are so many weird and creepy people around that look and act normal at first, but when you talk to them some more or even become friends or start a relationship with them, you realize that they are quite toxic or crazy. After a couple of these experiences, you start to look for signs before committing to getting closer to that person.

There are a lot of common signs that are really telling, but we have started to demonize behaviors that don’t actually tell us anything and it's just a normal thing that many people do, including the bad people in your life. 

Reddit user MuchDuck did us all a favor and asked people online “What is widely considered a red flag but actually is not?” allowing people who do certain things to defend themselves and for others to learn that sometimes healthy behaviors that may seem suspicious or unacceptable to us don’t mean that someone is a bad human being.

More info: Reddit

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#1

Placed The Phone Screen Down On A Table

Two smartphones on grid paper representing behaviors turned into red flags but actually don’t mean anything concept. I once met a girl who thought it was a red flag that I always placed my phone screen down on a table. She thought it meant I was hiding something. I had to try and explain that it's too big to keep in my pocket and it's screen down to be polite and show her that she has my undivided attention. Although, I must admit, that her level of insecurity was a red flag to me.

Natural-Ad678 , Jeff Blackler Report

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    #2

    Not Having A Social Media Presence

    Smartphone screen displaying social media apps related to behaviors turned into red flags in online discussions. Not having a social media presence. I’ve had multiple people tell me that my choice not to use social media was a huge red flag, but in reality I got rid of my accounts because they were making me miserable. I got rid of my Facebook/Instagram/twitter accounts two years ago, and have been noticeably happier ever since.

    taylor52087 , Jason Howie Report

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    #3

    Being Independent, Or Even A Loner

    Person sitting on a bench by a lake with mountains in the background, reflecting on behaviors and red flags discussion. Being independent, or even a loner. Sometimes we’re just shy and have poor social skills. We’re not “creeps” or “weird”. I just do my own thing and leave people alone for the most part unless they want me in their life.

    BurghFinsFan , VirtualWolf Report

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    #4

    Not Responding To Texts Immediately

    Smartphone displaying a text conversation about behaviors often mistaken as red flags in an online group discussion. Not responding to texts immediately. No *Brenda* I'm not ghosting you, I am literally at work.

    deathjoe4 , StockyPics Report

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    #5

    Not Getting Along With Parents

    Two people walking separately on a sandy beach under a cloudy sky illustrating behaviors turned into red flags but harmless. Not getting along with parents. Some parents are abusive, neglectful, or toxic to be around; and if an adult chooses not to be around that, good for them. Of course, if a person is actively awful *to* their parents, that's another story.

    insertcaffeine , Lorna Mitchell Report

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    #6

    Not Having Many Friends

    Four hands stacked together wearing green wristbands, symbolizing unity and behaviors turned into red flags. Not having many friends. im just very introverted not a weirdo.

    sticks-in-spokes , lil'bear Report

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    #7

    Men Having Female Friends

    Two people walking by a lake, illustrating behaviors turned into red flags that don’t actually mean anything. Men having female friends. A lot of girls get jealous, but if it's a real friendship and not a bunch of exes and hookups, it actually shows women consider them reliable and good people to have around.

    freakydude92 , bluesbby Report

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    #8

    A Man Playing With A Child At A Playground

    Young children playing at a playground with adult supervision, illustrating behaviors turned into red flags but not serious. maledependasaid: A man playing with a child at a playground Grogosh added: Decades of that stranger danger stuff ruined dads being out with their child. Sure its a legitimate threat but the real bad stuff happens because they already know the kid, in family, friends, etc.

    maledependa , anjanettew Report

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    #9

    Men That Like Children And Babies

    Toddler walking alone on a beach at sunset, illustrating behaviors often mistaken as red flags in social contexts. Men that like children and babies. Why do we assume every guy that likes babies is a pervert and a woman can't be?

    Nivasha , Eduardo Merille Report

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    #10

    Not Making Eye Contact

    Close-up of a cat’s eyes and face, illustrating 35 behaviors turned into red flags but actually don’t mean anything. Not making eye contact doesnt mean someone is lying.

    Electronic-Emu-773 , arsheffield Report

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    #11

    Not Wanting Your Partner(S) To Know Your Passwords

    Login screen showing username and password fields with a remember me option related to behaviors turned into red flags smallemochick said: not wanting your partner(s) to have the passwords to all your social media accounts arturobear added: It's just weird. My husband and I sometimes leave things open on shared devices and each of us, just respectfully logs out and logs in with our own credentials. We don't open each other's mail either. There's a basic level of respect and trust you need to have in a relationship. If you feel the need to snoop, there's a lot more going on and the relationship has probably been on the rocks for a while. There are more mature ways to handle it - like being open with your feelings and having a frank conversation.

    smallemochick , Matthew Jones Report

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    #12

    Girls With Stuffed Animals

    A large collection of plush toys including bears and minions representing behaviors turned into red flags from online group discussions. Girls with stuffed animals. It’s just comfort and habit. Not that deep. Edit: I’m so glad so many others of all identities agree. Its so okay to enjoy comforting items at any age. So happy to see it. You deserve to find joy and comfort in the simple things.

    lavenderbleudilly , Francisco Anzola Report

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    #13

    When A Guy Doesn't Pay For All Dates/Buy Them Things

    Brown wallet partially open with credit cards visible on a wooden surface, illustrating behaviors turned into red flags concept. The amount of women I know that take it as a red flag that a guy doesn't pay for all dates/buy them things. I'm proud of what I have done with my life and that I can go do those things myself, I like a guy that treats me as an equal. That is not a red flag at all to me

    LeafsChick , Chris Potter Report

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    See Also on Bored Panda
    #14

    Going To Therapy

    Person sitting alone on a boat with the word therapy visible, illustrating behaviors mistaken as red flags. TruthProfessional340 said: Going to therapy DetectiveBennett added: Considering less than just two generations ago it wasn’t just a red flag but considered as admission of being really damaged, I don’t think society has accepted that it’s actually a good thing just yet. Boomers definitely used to think going to therapy/being in the “looney bin” was sign they were a bad person and I don’t think they’ve really seen the light on that yet. Hopefully our generations will completely break through these prejudices.

    TruthProfessional340 , Jason Rojas Report

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    #15

    Not Posting Pictures With Friends On Your Dating Profile

    Two people on a city sidewalk examining a star on the ground, illustrating behaviors turned into red flags. Not posting pictures with friends on your dating profile. Some people assume you’re anti-social and not pleasant to be around, but I choose not to because I feel weird to post pictures of other people than myself.

    GreenLurch , Tyler Merbler Report

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    #16

    Being Weird In An Innocent Way

    Person reaching up towards palm trees under a blue sky, illustrating behaviors that were turned into red flags but don’t mean anything. AngelsOfWar01 said: Being weird in an innocent way. Like society shuns anyone who thinks outside a set of parameters. When really its just a different way to view the world. Thrillhouse-14 replied: Agree. I also don't know why everyone feels the need to try and diagnose weirdness as autistic or ADHD or whatever, too. Why does there need to be an excuse for it? And why would a literal disability be the only thing to absolve that? People need to stop trying to railroad others just because they don't understand them. Some people are just built differently. They don't have to understand it, they just have to respect it.

    AngelsOfWar01 , Holly Lay Report

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    #17

    Jealousy

    Jealous sign lit up on building rooftop, illustrating behaviors often mistaken as red flags in online discussions. Jealousy. It’s a human emotion. Feeling jealousy isn’t a red flag. Now, punching the wall, or taking that feeling of jealousy out on a person IS a red flag.

    Conscious-Studio8111 , Matt Brown Report

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    #18

    Being “Clingy”

    Person holding camera smiling and leading another by hand along riverside path illustrating behaviors turned into red flags Being “clingy”. Now ACTUALLY being clingy and overstepping boundaries IS a red flag. But these days a lot of things that are perceived as clingy are just people showing genuine interest as opposed to trying to “play it cool.” Just my opinion though.

    YummyIceCream54 , Kevin Jaako Report

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    #19

    Not Dating For Several Years

    Two young men sitting on a stone wall outdoors, illustrating behaviors turned into red flags but actually harmless. Not dating for several years, I’ve been told by girls that if a guy has been single for over five years that’s a problem. So you’d prefer he’d be in 25 relationships in the last five years and wonder why all those relationships didn’t work out?

    bigblueberryboobies , Eila Manuel Report

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    #20

    Being Over 40 And Never Having Been Married

    Person sitting on a bench by a lake with arms stretched out, reflecting on behaviors turned into red flags. SadPlayground said: Being over 40 and never having been married. newbuttonacc replied: It's weird because by implication, it's "not being divorced" Which is, by extension, "not having sworn a vow to be with someone forever and then broke that vow" How is that a red flag? Idk. I lived in a highly conservative area and people were treating me like a weirdo for not being married at 22. Knowing how stupid I was at 22, not getting married was easily the smartest thing I did.

    SadPlayground , Umbrella Shot Report

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    #21

    Living With Family

    Young boy playing indoor soccer with toy goal, illustrating behaviors confused as red flags but meaning nothing in online groups. living with family, in this day and age it’s just not feasible for everyone to have their own place.

    kumakami89 , AlphaGeek Report

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    #22

    Not Going To College

    Two young women sitting on blankets on grass, studying behaviors and red flags discussed in an online group. Not going to college I plan to go personally but some people dont. I've been raised to believe people who go to college have their life together or are smarter than the average person. I've learned pretty quickly that people who don't go to college aren't stupid or anything. Some just have a different life path or can't afford it or found a job or buisness that works out better than any colleges opportunities would've given. College doesn't define a person's worth. It's just an expensive tool to get some people where they want to be.

    Crims0n_and_Cl0ver , matthew Hunt Report

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    #23

    Gaps In Employment Being Seen As A Red Flag In A Resume

    Young man sitting on the floor by elevator covering face, illustrating behaviors turned into red flags but not meaningful. So relationships are implied but not explicitly specified. So I am going to expand this to employment. Gaps in employment being seen as a red flag in a resume.

    devilsrotary86 , Soon Report

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    See Also on Bored Panda
    #24

    Not Owning A Car

    Two women cycling on a city street demonstrating behaviors often mistaken as red flags but actually harmless. Not owning a car. Idk how that's a red flag for some people, but personally I think public transport is superior

    New_CourierSix , Tejvan Pettinger Report

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