Guy Blames His Ex For Not Taking Care Of Their Child, Gets Destroyed With Words
Parenting can definitely be a challenge, but some people find it more difficult than the other, especially when the child is still just a mere baby. From changing diapers to many sleepless nights, the trials and tribulations of being a parent can truly take a toll on any person. And that becomes even harder when you’re a single parent. Tired of raising his 18-month-old son, one single dad decided to share his troubles with Reddit, seeking legal advice on making the mother of his son take care of the child. He explained the situation, focusing on his ex-girlfriend and the choices they both made, passing judgment and calling the woman a “deadbeat mom”. Although he asked for legal advice, the man got more than he bargained for. Scroll down below to read the full story and don’t forget to tell us what you think! (Facebook cover image: julie corsi)
Parenting can definitely be a challenge, but some people find it more difficult than the other
Image credits: tmldahl (not the actual photo)
One guy posted on Reddit, seeking legal advice for his parenting situation
People responded, although not as the original poster expected and they had a short back-and-forth
However, one person had the best reply to the poster’s message
444Kviews
Share on FacebookI'm a bloke, so saying this hopefully demonstrates I'm not a misogynistic sod. But isn't this the dire situation men have been leaving women in for centuries, as they walk away and quite literally leave her holding the baby, preferring to absolve themselves of any responsibility? Sounds like she had the brains to think this one through... while he did not. My only sympathy lies with the kid.
And she pays 125% of court ordered child support, much more than she needs to. There are many absent fathers doing their best to avoid paying any child support to single mothers, sometimes even despite court orders. Honestly, if the roles were reversed, I'm not sure the court would have ordered him to pay any child support at all or at least not as much because they weren't even engaged and she (if the roles were reversed he) doesn't have visitation or any other rights concerning the child. He seems very immature; he needs to learn he can't force her (or anyone) to care and change her life according to his wishes. He should be happy she didn't sue him for coerced birth, manipulation and harassment and that she agreed to pay any child support at all and very grateful she gave him the child he allegedly so much wanted and didn't get an abortion despite his wishes or give it up to someone else for adoption.
Load More Replies...Have you ever heard a man say he has to "babysit" his own kids? I have. Many, many times. I've NEVER heard a woman say it. This is the mentality we're dealing with.
Yes! Soooo many times and it makes me furious every time
Load More Replies...Her half of the seed is developed and stays in her body. It does not matter what she let you do it was your responsibility to add or not add your half to what was already there. You are directly responsible for bringing that child to life. If you don't want to be a daddy do not ejaculate in women.
She didn't want the child. He wanted it. She was nice enough to give it to him AND pay for it more than she had to. Now he has it. Welcome to the beautiful world of single parenting ! Deal with it. Period.
oopsie, sounds like Ben DOVER (real classy) has been in a similar situation and he's bitter. :(
Load More Replies...I hate how some men act like because they're dating someone, they get to have control over their bodies. "She wanted to have an abortion but I didn't..." Well that sucks for you, mate. Bodily autonomy is a thing. Sadly, sexist a******s exist.
Fetuses are not babies. Until a certain point when their brain develops enough to *almost* feel pain, they are not technically alive/they are brain dead. Even if the fetus is fully developed, it still has no right over the pregnant person. Using the pregnant person's body for nutrients is a matter of whether the person wants it to be there. Once they withdraw consent for the fetus to be in their body, they have the right to remove it. For example, if your sister is dying and the only person who can give her a blood transfusion is you, you still have the right to say no. It's ridiculous; even after you're dead people can't use your organs without consent when you were alive, even if the organs would save someone. Anti-choice people are saying that a pregnant person deserves less rights than a dead body.
Load More Replies...Yes... It's breaking my heart to see how awful those humans are. These kind of situation are why I'm not against abortions... Sometimes being alive is not worth it, expecially when your parents don't want you - that thing scars deep and the wound stays there forever
Load More Replies...To me this sounds like one of those people who fall in love with the idea of something without thinking about the realities. Like a kid who wants a puppy but then gets to find out that raising and training a living thing is actual work and just attempts to foist the responsibilities of other people all while trying to make sure they can still get all of the benefits of the situation.
I think it's more likely he wanted to tie her down to him with the child. It's a common abuse tactic, as most women would not give up their children.
Load More Replies...I had exactly the same thought. How many women are in this "single parent " situation? At least he can count with her money and with help of his family and he can still work. Many women can't do that and don't have that. It's supposed we fill sorry because he is a men , but if would be a woman telling this story everything would be so different. He is crying hungry with his belly full.
I love that expression. "He is crying hungry with his belly full." I've never heard that one before, but, believe me, I will be using it. :)
Load More Replies...YOU CHOSE to bully her into having a child she didn't want. She did NOT have to do that. YOU said you'd raise the child YOU CHOSE to keep. YOU had no legal standing to stop her getting an abortion, and YOU had no legal standing to stop her giving up YOUR son for adoption. ...///... SHE is paying support and YOU made that deal. Suck it up, sunshine. This is YOUR SON. You need your a*s kicked around the block, you sick little puppy.
Yes,he is a idiot, let's not offend puppy / puppies. 😉
Load More Replies...My heart bleeds for this poor child. Even worse, when he is older he very well might find his dad's post.
That is such a good point. The thought never even crossed my mind. That poor kid!!
Load More Replies...This is not a deadbeat parent, ask my three girls what a deadbeat parent is and they will tell you about the father that walked away from them 7 years ago and pays nothing.
As the saying goes " if it happened to men they would make changes immediately" So here is the result of legislation giving the father ability to force birth. Suddenly it leaves a sour taste in his mouth. Oh, wait women have to deal with this all the time. But somehow women get labeled as having babies to get welfare,or "work the system", or (like this guy) having false hope that Love will keep them together.
He had NO right to "force" her to do anything. She CHOSE to carry to term and give the baby up to him as long as that was the end of her involvement. In the long run, it would have been smarter to her to either have an abortion (which is what I would have done) or give the baby up for adoption to strangers.
Load More Replies...It's all been said. However, he is very young and very immature. He hopefully learned a hard lesson that you cant make anyone do anything, you cant control what anyone else says or does no matter how much you wish for it. And, he made this bed and he needs to keep making it every day. I hope the little boy finds good people in his life and in meantime has some caring mentors.
The s****y thing is he clearly didn't learn. He's just pushing the blame on her for not feeling maternal like he hoped.
Load More Replies...I really think this guy doesn't understand that it was all his choices.
The last one is 100% correct. He wanted to keep her, own her, and use her
Resentful.... wtf??? She pays support so she isn't a deadbeat... quit being a petty pr!@k and give your son all and more than you can give. She did not a child and by his own admission he wanted to see this through. I apologize but this whiney beep beep needs to get his head out of his a**e and be a dad.
Look you wanted the child man up and be a great dad or find a great family to adopt to.
This feels like a set up. Could anyone really be so ignorant as to what single moms have been going through for decades? Could anyone be less justified in demanding involvement when the "mother" made her intentions clear and gives financial support? Perhaps, but it seems ridiculous.
Yep, they are out there. I have encountered many males who think that "magical fairy motherhood bonding" will make me suddenly want a child if I had to carry one to term, despite the fact I have never wanted one and been VERY clear on it. I have to resist the urge to slap the stupid out of guys who want to argue that I don't know what I want.
Load More Replies...My children's Mother left when they were 7 and 8. I didn't have time to feel sorry for myself I had two little girls to worry about. I felt guilty that they only had one parent around and sometimes wondered if I was enough but I never thought of them as a burden. I did the best I could was always available to talk about anything and unfortunately that meant anything and everything no matter how uncomfortable it was, but they needed someone and Being their Dad I was that person. Well that was over 20 years ago and now they are both grown up and on their own with their careers and I think I did Okay, But it Truly was the only choice
Since poster "rand0mip"said it all, further comments are superfluous. The "father" was, is and will be a self-centered jerk.
If the roles were reversed, we'd be praising the dad for paying 125% of the child support while simply expecting the mother to raise the child. Now that the roles are reversed, this guy has the nerve, the audacity to say being a single parent sucks and is nothing but hard work. Welcome to what women have had top put up with since the dawn of time and a lot of that time, there was no child support. This guy better man the hell up or find adoptive parents for this child.
Why would you want to force your child onto a person who doesn't want anything to do with them. How could you trust that she would give proper care. Can handle them emotionally? Won't hurt the child? She is not a dead beat...just not a mom. You are doing what millions of single moms do....but with financial support. Hire a sitter once a week for a day off. One day...it helps, trust me.
To be honest, i totally understand her. Nobody should ever be forced to raise kid they don't want and since dude is the one who wanted kid, he has no moral ground to expect her to raise kid. It's not ideal situation, sure, but well, he chose it.
At a restaurant: Waiter: What can I get you? Him: We will both have the steak. Her: I'm a vegan. Can I have a salad? Him: No. Two steaks. Her: Vegan! Him: Two. Steaks. Waiter brings steaks. Him: Why won't she eat it?!
Oh god, what a horrible person this dude is. You realize that it was NICE of her to even give birth to the child?! She could have had an abortion without his consent, because it’s her body, this is extremely nice of her actually! Now she pays more support THAN THE COURT HAS ORDERED, omg this woman is a saint if you ask me. She made it clear she doesn’t want children and we don’t live in the 18th century so WAKE UP. You seem like some kind of closeted sexist who thinks every woman HAS to ant children and their main responsibility in life is to take care of kids. Wtf?! Just get a nanny, for god‘s sake. Or even better give that poor child up for adoption, before you’re gonna nag him with stories about his „horrible mother“ 24/7 and raise a misogynist or even worse, an incel or something. You are the worst.
OMG, welcome to every single mother out there where the man jumped ship and she is left holding the "Bag." Mothers do this day in and day out, go to college, go to work, miss work to stay at home with sick children, get home, fix meals, run the kids to after school events and are totally exhausted! Grow up and quit whining.
"she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that." "I honestly thought she would bond during the pregnancy and would eventually change her mind." Sounds like just another case of a man thinking no means maybe
Dude, it’s so obvious. She is fulfilling her court mandated obligations and paying more. The court can’t force her to visit her kid. So what do you want? A break? Hire a nanny with the extra 25 percent she is giving you. You “expected” her to ding the “magic” ? I’m a parent and needed those breaks too but I could never see myself saying I “resent” my son. I actually have a friend whose ex wife had a mental breakdown and he had to raise both his kids on his own. For years he never even dated. The kids grew and he has some breathing room now. So it goes. Your son needs you. Buckle up and be there for him. You have the right to be tired. You don’t have the right to resent an innocent child who depends on you alone
She’s not a dead beat mom, she paying you to a raise a kid she didn’t want to keep. I don’t think she should even pay child support. She warned you and you took on the responsibility of more or less A green to adopt a child from a mother that didn’t want one
Selfish git, she told you at the outset she did not want the baby and she did not want to be a mom. You are a bully because you thought you could force her to do something she told you she wouldn't. You are the person who demanded the responsibility for your child and now you want to change the terms. Oh well, if you can't love this child the way he should be loved then you should give him up for adoption immediately instead of using him as cudgel against his mother.
First of all, I'm sure this is just a fabricated attempt to make people realize what so many women go through as single parents. However, if they wanted to make it more realistic, they should have cut the support money down from 125% to 0% - which is how much the majority of dead beat fathers are paying.
Sound like he needs a break, nothing more nothing less. We're all worn and tired and frustrated, but thats what we do, as parents.
Being a parent is not easy at all: is frustrating, exhausting, stressful, and a huge etc. This guy wanted to be one and now that he is he found out it´s not funny and even worse: tries to get the ex involved. Well, I´m a single parent, welcome to our world my friend. Your baby is not a toy you can forget just for a while bc you are tired. As they said: Be a man and assume the responsability you asked for.
Yeah, a throwaway account on Reddit. I totally an sure that happened.
I support the remarks on this. She never wanted the baby to begin with. However, people who DID want the baby/babies and then walk away, without contributing anything (other than severe emotional abuse) are complete tossers. I feel for the kid. I would have been happy, if my ex had walked away when my babies were young, even without monetary support (which, he doesn't provide), because it would have meant my girls would have been without the emotional abuse that ensued over the years, before he walked away from them. Only my youngest girl has avoided the outcome.
Not only is the guy a major loser, he's put his genes into the human gene pool. Too stupid to understand birth control, waaaaaay to stupid to not to support the girl when she wanted to get an abortion. The kid is blameless, it's sad he has to deal with you as his father. Time to suck it up little boy and be the man you thought you were when you had sex. Next time, jerk it into a sock like all the other losers do.
I kinda wonder if this is a social experiment. Such as there is the reverse where a man doesn't want the child but the woman does and has it taking full custody and getting child support, but at the same time will want the man who wanted nothing to do with the parenthood to step in as a father. He could do what is wanted of him as far as providing support but will still be called a deadbeat and blamed for impregnating the woman than choosing not to be a part of their child's life.
The problem with my parents is that they both wanted me to themselves because they hated each other. My mum apparently tried to take me to Slovakia with her to get away from my dad but then my dad took her to court and they got shared custody of me but that meant they had to live in the same city
I'll generously assume that much of this guy's angry tone is coming from the exhaustion and frustration of being a single parent. And I will grant that it's admirable for him to be devoted to his kid, and hopefully he will continue to do so. That being said, the mother made her wishes and intentions perfectly clear from the start. This man in no way respected them. For her to pay well more than the court-ordered child support for a child that she made it absolutely clear from the beginning that she didn't want is incredibly generous of her. Hopefully the guy in question will remember all this next time he gets a girl knocked up and expects her to "take one for the team."
As an adoptive mom, I am quite sure there are hundreds of couples who would be more than overjoyed to give this youngster a home. With an open adoption he could even have visitation opportunities with his child after the adoption. So foolish to get himself into this situation, though, so I doubt he is smart enough to see his way out in a manner that benefits the child. Wrap it before you tap it, gentlemen.
This is absurd. This guy is so whiny. We ALL know more than 1 single mother, and eventhough it is hard as hell, they stand up, and do the job without crying like a baby. In what world does this guy live? Welcome to the real world of women, pal!
To be fair, tons of single AND married mothers do nothing but b***h whine and nag about being moms and how hard and thankless it is and then pretend it’s the best thing that ever happened to them. They are trashy too but this guy is different because he actively stopped the mother from getting an abortion when she wanted one.
Load More Replies...So what you learn later in life? Using protection like condoms, pills or other does NOT work 100%. It surely lowers the risk of pregnancy but it's not perfect.
Load More Replies...I had a male friend, he started dating a woman I know. He made it VERY clear he did not want a child. She stopped taking birth control and became pregnant. She tried so hard to make him out to be the bad guy. Spreading all kinds of nasty rumors, etc. I was on his side, he made it very clear he did not want children. He supports the child but has not relationship with him. People should respect/listen to their partners!
He wanted a baby, but he obviously wanted HER to do the parenting. What a whiner.
No he has nothing to b***h about. He got her pregnant ( with help from her also) she did not want it he insisted so be it on his head. Men have done this to women for god knows how long. They always manage with no help from the father. No connection and more often than not no money! That she pays support is more than a lot of blokes in that situation he should be grateful for that. He cannot force her to love a child nor take care of a child she did not want in the first place. He seems to think ALL women are naturally maternal, this is simply not true many are not! He got what he wanted the child he sired. Why should he ask for more? Now he knows how the women of the world feel!
I think this guys assumed that all women have motherly instincts. No way can a woman abandon her child...I chose not to have children, I have no motherly instincts so I chose not to take a chance and bring someone into this world and screw them up by not been able to show them the love they deserve ( and I m the one been called selfish) . I get so annoyed when people tell me "you'll see, it' different when it's your own ". I hope this story will show that feelings don't always change because you gave birth ... You got what you wanted mate ! you made your bed now lie in it but for the childs sake either get help or let a couple that desperatly want children adopt him.
Well lets see, she wanted to kill him in the womb, yet you're somehow surprised that she didnt bond with him during her pregnancy? Dude is having to deal with the reality most single moms have been dealing with for centuries but WITHOUT 125% of child support. Do I think she's a crappy person? Sure. Do I think she's legally obligated to do more than financially support you and the kid? Nope.
As I'm about to become father, I feel so sory for the kid, imagining this kid reading this post, unwanted and denied by mother, refused by father. I just hope that joke-of-a-father will get him adopted as soon as possible to loving family, so the little one will never remember any of it.
Wow. Ill have the wee lad. I am also single parent, working full time, making it work and loving it. My 6yo daughter tells me daily how were the best. this needs some balls and brain cells. Poor little boy.
Why didn't anyone say ANYTHING about this human derelict's failure to use a condom? If he had one scintilla of self responsibility and self respect, he would have thought of that right around the time he wanted to have sex with her. This guy is a moron and complete waste of skin. Poor kid.
As I read this guys whiny post about how he got more than he bargained for, I thought "WTF Dude!?! YOU were the one that wanted the kid! You were the one that wanted the responsibility! Now you're trying to shove it off on her because you have what is the equivalent of buyer's remorse? STFU!" I was also thinking that his family isn't helping because they see him as a dumbass. I prefer adoption over abortion, but it should still have been the girls choice, not the guys. If he wanted to be a parent so badly, then he should have done it the right way by finding a girl who he would have a vested relationship with and commit to being with her first before the kids arrived. Until then, he needs to keep his soldiers in check.
I was thinking, what if the roles were reversed? When this woman wanted an abortion and the guy did not, I thought that the responsibility was all his, and that of course she has the right to want nothing to do with the child. But what if it was a man who wanted the abortion, and a woman who wanted the child? I caught myself thinking that of course he had the responsibility to help and support the woman, since it takes two to tango, and he can not force the woman into have an abortion - he needs to take responsibility for making her pregnant. Many men have been caught in this "trap" having to take care of a child that they did not want. What if the man and the woman have to decide together, and the one who wants to keep it have to sign a contract that he/she understands that there will be no support from the one who wants the pregnancy terminated? At the same time, I strongly feel that it is the woman who should decide if there is an abortion or not (her body).
If you are morally against abortions, that only makes it more important to be careful not to get pregnant/make someone pregnant.
Load More Replies...I dont even know if you'll see this but i had to comment. As it stands, and without going into the how and the why,you are all this child has. Exhausting as it is, they rely on you and you alone, that's as simple as it gets. Your child needs you and probably worships the ground you walk on. Hopefully that thought will help a little. One question though:why would you want someone,the child's mother or otherwise, who has no interest, to help with the parenting? That doesn't make sense. Your child deserves to have people that love and care.
gee whizz think of your son he will grow up resentful knowing that neither of you really wanted him but he was a p**n, best thing you can do is give him to a loving family who want kids to love and nuture honestly you are a sic controlling person . i feel so sorry for the little boy, not you
Good for you rand0mip, you hit the nail on the head as that is exactly what the situation is. Poor little baby, I hope he goes up for adoption because someone needs to love him.
He wanted it, he got to keep it, just like who knows how many women who get raped/knocked up every day and are forced to be single parents with absent fathers. Sorry mate, you're just experiencing the other side of the coin first hand. You thought that she'd just change her mind for you, well tough, she acted 'like a man' and left you with the baby. Suck it up and campaign for single parents everywhere. No sympathy for him, only the child, hoping he doesn't f%^& him up too.
Now replace all of rand0mips rant from male gender to female. How does it sound?
That poor sweet baby in the hands of a man that doesn't even want him.
Terribly, terribly sad. The kid didn't know what raising a child entailed, or that the birth mother truly wouldn't want the child. He is engaging in what is called magical thinking; that just because that's what he wanted/expected, it would make it so. I hope he will get smart and consider giving the little boy up for an open adoption, one that he can be sure will take him as their own, rather than relinquishing him to foster care. The birth mother was clear from the start, and the father was/is unable to hear her. He forced her to go through a traumatic experience, but he still isn't done with wanting to force his will on her. He needs some therapy, ASAP.
The last one has the best come-back. If this guy wanted a kid so badly that he forced a woman into giving birth to the child, then he's the one responsible for raising it. If he finds that too hard, he can give the boy up for adoption. There are plenty of couples dying to adopt a child. But forcing her to raise the kid when she's paying 125% support? He doesn't have a case. If I were the judge I'd laugh him out of court.
After our 4th child,my husband & I would sometimes split the duties ,taking 2 each.Pretty much every time ,we would hear..."Oh you're babysitting for the wife "(?!)," he's so good to you" etc.One time at a family gathering,he changed our newborn's nappy (while I wrangled the 6,4 and 1 yr olds),did I get a "oh aren't you good with them"..? No,but I was told how "lucky" I was,to "thank him"for "doing my job for me" and how "clever"& "brave" he was,how "Grateful" I should be etc..This wasn't him,he always had the view that we made them together,so we were both responsible for their "upkeep".But others always made me feel he was doing me a favor ! Attitudes like that is what creates "manbabies" like the bloke in the article.The creep only wanted the baby to force the poor girl to be with him.She gave up so much to carry & birth a child,when she didn't want or have to have.Yet he paints her as the bad one...All I can say to him is,be careful what you wish for.
I find a lot of these responses really disturbing. Both of these people made a choice to bring a life into this world. She was not forced. That new life should be the primary concern and two involved parents are important. That may not be something legally feasible but morally that kid did nothing wrong and will suffer as a result of their joint irresponsibility.
Assuming the story here is actually real...am I the only one who actually feels sorry for the guy?o.O So much hatred here, that's not how you make the world a nicer place, you know. Imho it sounds like the guy had it for the girl more than she had it for him so he wanted the kid and through it, perhaps a lasting relationship and family with her. But she didn't so now she's out and he's having a very hard time understanding/accepting that, plus is super exhausted and stressed from raising the baby, so he's desperately clinging to straws trying to bring her back. If that's the case, he's made a mistake, but it doesn't quite make him the villain of the year. I just hope he can let it/her go finally, hire a nanny and move on, perhaps to being a great single parent, perhaps even to finding another mom to the kid eventually.
Obviously court forcing the girl to play mother, even if that was legally possible, could only do harm rather than good - not caring for baby now, she'd just hate it then, and she'd definitely hate the guy for forcing her too so who'd that help? It is a stupid idea but to be fair in the context it just kinda sounds really desperate.
Load More Replies...Someone pointed out that maybe this account was fake and the story was written to outrage people? Doesn’t matter but the story is just toooooo perfectly outrageous.
I can not even think of the words to say over this putrid pile of vile bile.
I am speechless to this. This guy has some clear brain issues if he doesn't see anything wrong happening from his side. This whole story is so, so wrong. I also don't understand the girl who went through pregnancy just because he wanted so.
She hit it right on the head , didn’t she. I do hope the child is looked after properly. Maybe you need more time, mane you don’t. But the main issue here, is that child. You need to be honest with yourself. It’s not a toy, you can’t put it back after getting fed up with it. I would seriously consider a lovely family for adoption, give the child what he / she deserves. You will only resent that poor child, and they feel and know that from day one.
I have so much to say but I will just leave it with this.... WHY IN HELL WILL YOU WANT HER TO HAVE VISITATION? She has already proved and said that she doesn't want anything to do with the baby and she wanted to kill him while she was pregnant!! How will you know that she will be responsible to take care of him if your son is with her!? I wouldnt trust her whatsoever! Stop and think about it....also, if you are having rest issues, need help or whatever, ASK YOUR FRIENDS and continue to let you family know what your going through that you need help. Don't be so desperate to do something to help yourself that won't help your son. Your not the only single parent in this world. People do it all the time. Stop being selfish and think of your son! There are so many people that would trade places with you in a second. Like I said, I have alot to say, but if you choose to change your perspective, it will help you to think clearly to help yourself and your issues and also, your son will love and react to you alot better!
this guy probably doesn't have any friends
Load More Replies...I know many women who lives like this. Many. and i'm sure everyone know at least one. this is not rare. Men leave women with kids all the time and this is accepted. This case is different only because he is a man, a father. I don't know why anybody would feel sorry for him. Single mothers are exhausted all the time too. And it's normal for everybody. They often don't have enough money or time to earn enough money. He gets money from her, more than he should, she was honest with him how it would be... i really don't get it what he want. You are tired? Sorry, but i have a kid too, dad of my son lives with us and loves us, and sometimes i'm really tired. That't how it is. Parenthood. She was honest with him. He chose it that way. Welcome to be a single parent. He's fine anyway. I only feel sorry for this little boy.
To this whiny immature idiot: Did you think that because you were able to bully her into keeping the child, you could also force her to be a parent? If you can't hack it, there are plenty of folks out there who would love the kid and also have the maturity to be a real parent. Stop using the courts to get back at your ex (because that's really what your little pity party is about). You are not going to win. Kids can read resentment in the womb and that poor kid didn't ask for any of this garbage from you.
How can you resent a baby? It’s not his fault at all...poor little thing.
She already did way more than she needed to. The last tweet is correct. Awful, abusive men get women pregnant all the damn time so that they will have a slave for at least 18 or so years. It is a form of domestic abuse. My mother had a good shot at a decent future before she got knocked up by my loser of a pedophile father. I never had a chance at a decent life, and she is 85 years old, still living with the consequences of her decision even though he has been dead for years and years. We have never talked about it, but I know we both wish abortion had been legal and accessible when it happened.
Her motherly instincts kicked enough, she gave birth to a kid she didnt wanted, she is paying too much child support for a kid she didnt want, what more? Usually the guy begs and cries he want a kid then leaves and doesnt help at all. Exactly this happened to me. This guy has already too much help from a responsible forced to be a parent mother. What a douche. Yes, caring for a child is hard, thats what women have told forever for a reason.
What an a*****e piece of s**t of a human. Hope he finally made a useful decision once in his life and sign that child off to adoption then castrated himself.
(continued) from a child, but men have done it for eons. So how is it any different? That is YOUR baby that YOU helped create. YOU stood up to take care of him (good job) now your only choices are either shut the f**k up and raise your son, or give him up for adoption. Hell I'll take him, what's one more? (oh and everyone freaking out 3 are biological the other five are my adopted step kids whom I love just as much as if they came from my eggs.)
The poor child!! A father in name but is tired of his new " toy" and has no clue how to really embrace this kid and love him. Give him to parents who will adopt and LOVE him. This guy only really loves himself, and needs to re-assess the situation as WHATS BEST FOR THE CHILD, not for him!
LOL, this sounds like he was trying to tie her down to him. Almost sounded like he wanted someone to take care of him. I respect the woman for being able to not get manipulated.
I would have just got the abortion anyway. It's not his decision. It's a matter of I'm telling you because you're the father. The only answer he should have given is, "I support your decision."
Seriously! I wonder why she would listen to him. Maybe he convinced her it would be like a gift.
Load More Replies...So all this happened two years ago, which makes that poor kid around 3 1/2 now. I really hope his situation is better now, either because his father manned up, or did what should he have done in the first place, and put him up for adoption.
I feel bad for the kid. I can only imagine how things will be when he reaches his teens.
This guy is such an a**e-hat and his description of circumstances so bizarre that I can't help but wonder if this is a made-up post...
What a disgusting sod. Trying to force a family on someone that doesn't want it. He needs to leave her alone, she pays towards the child. He's facing the reality of many single parents, better even because he gets 125% child support. He's facing a reality he knew was coming and chose to ignore and pretend wouldn't happen. The child is better off with adoption.
It's one thing for the father to want help, and another to say he "resents" the child. Even if he does (you can't help how you feel), say that out loud only to the most trusted people, NOT ONLINE. Is this guy 17?
so not only did you force this woman to have a child she didn't want and resent her for doing her legal obligation and nothing more (but really, some more, as she pays more than is mandated), but you posted all this on the internet so your kid can some day find out *exactly* how much no one ever wanted them? the only abusive parent is you.
He wanted the child, she didn't. She still pays child support. I know biological fathers who pressured their women into having kids and now don't pay a penny. She is NOT a deadbeat. You are living with the consequences of your decision and actions. If you need some time off, hire a babysitter! That's what responsible parents do. This post really makes me angry. As a female, as a person who cannot biologically have kids, as a step-mom, as a wife, as a human being who respects the choices of others.
"THEIR women"? excuse me? you don't own human beings!
Load More Replies...I think dads are underrated and there are some very good ones out there. My dad gave up a lot of things to become a single father to me and my sister when the only other given by the courts was for us to go to care (my mum is a nice person and loves us, but wasn't capable) and he's been amazing. My sister-in-law cheated on my brother with his best friend, left him and refuses to give him any access. My brother has fought (and still fighting) for access but the courts are on her side..... On the other hand, there's this guy and my nieces' father who refuses to believe they are his, has never given my sister child support, belittles her, says she is a terrible mother (she's fantastic) and has done the same to other women (at 26 I think he has about 8 kids with 6 different women including my sister)
It’s true there are fathers that do just fine. But that’s not the point of this article. This is talking about a single situation, and I don’t know if your story is entirely relevant.
Load More Replies...Personally, I don't like putting abortion out there as an option (that's my belief but I put that on no one else). I think that if you made the baby, deliver it, and what happens after is up to you whether it be putting the child up for adoption or choosing to start parenthood, whatever. However, I don't think it's moral to force someone into one or the other of those two options after birth. This guy is nuts if he thinks the courts will force her to raise this child. Are men forced to raise their children with the mothers they've abandoned? Last time I checked, no. Saying you resent your child is just f****d up. That's how kids get messed up in the head. What a jackass.
You’re probably the first person I’ve seen who doesn’t support pro-choice but is willing to call it just their own opinion. I do applaud you for that. If this isn’t to personal, are you a man or a woman, and are you a parent? I’m honestly curious, because most pro-life people are men who haven’t had children, or chose to have children.
Load More Replies...Hahahaha!!! What a joke of a guy... My mom had to bring me and my sister up because of an alcoholic dad and he didn't pay jack s--t, so this dude can consider himself lucky compared to the hundreds of thousand of women who don't recaive anything from the fathers... F--k him and his problems. My only concern is if he raises the child to be the same, the world doesn't need more egoistical a-holes. Has he even thought about the mental abuse the mother received for being coerced into giving birth?!?
Wow and just wow!!! Has anyone at all spent 10 seconds thinking about this child whom nobody seems to want or love? Millions of families would give everything to raise and love this little boy. Dad is definitely the deadbeat. Horrible!!!!!
I smell a rat, this is fake now twist it and say that it is really the dad who is a deadbeat.....sad though either way.
Good point Henry. Maybe you should have your own website and be responsible for putting a bunch of different stories on it every week! I'm sure you'd be able to!
Load More Replies...This is so clearly fake, I'm guessing that whoever the woman is that wrote this was trying to get male conservative pro life types to think with a gender reverse scenario, if it works then more power to her, because those guys are crazy and have zero consideration about the impact that forcing women to carry babies has on them, but I'm not buying that any guy is this thick and that any woman would go through 9 months of madness just to gift some random guy she has a casual relationship with a baby she did not want, and then to fork out money on surgery to fix the damage that the pragnancy did to her body, which as a gym type i'm guessing is something she takes pride in, this level altruism is just not believable, even before you add on the monthly 125% child care cost that she's giving up out of her pay packet to support this guy on this endeavour.
These things really happen, maybe not often or they're just not talked about often. My guess is that he somehow guilt-tripped her into feeling like she was obligated to have the kid and then having her own plan to leave right after as in "If you wanted this kid so badly, here! It's all yours!" And she most likely didn't get the abortion cause she either couldn't pay for it on her own at the time or thought he would've done something to her if she had.
Load More Replies...She is responsible.. but my only sympathy lies with the kid too..
The guy is just exhausted like many single parents and needs help. To be honest, women are doing this rather often – making decision to have a baby when men clearly don’t want to, in hope of them “doing the right thing” to get married. And even if biological fathers pay child support, they still complain that dads are not involved in raising a child, and try every way to get them do it - just like this guy does. Do people call it abuse??? No, what people usually say in such cases is “go girl, get him”.
I agree Olga. There should be an “opt out” period for men, equal to the length of the time she has to abort.
Load More Replies...This would've fine if you hadn't added "and be man, not a pussy" at the end
Load More Replies...No. Just the father. The mother was clear about what she wanted from the start. If she was allowed to get an abortion, the child would never be neglected and raised by his idiot father. But the father didn't want to give up his delusional dreams of a wife and child who would follow his every move. He should grow some balls and give the child up for adoption. Give him to someone who will love him properly.
Load More Replies...Well if that’s what they were investigating then they did a p**s poor job. They should have made the man’s hypothetical question more aligned with real problems that single moms face.
Load More Replies...Raising a child is not "just hiring a babysitter". It's a lot of responsibility, hard work and love. It is certainly not ~that~ easy.
Load More Replies...It’s as if all you care about is taking away women’s rights so much that you’ll align yourself with the shittiest people.
Load More Replies...You mean if she tried to stop him from having an abortion?
Load More Replies...You can't force people to be a parent when they don't want to, she made it clear from the start she did not want to. But because he was a selfish a*****e he forced her to give birth and that he will take 100% responsibility, now he can't cos he didn't think 2 seconds ahead. She doesn't want to be a parent, she doesn't claim to be a parent she doesn't even need to pay extra but she does. If the child asks why she didn't get involved then she will tell the truth that she was forced to have him, if he doesn't like the answer he can take it up with his useless dad who wanted to have his mom as a breeding slave basically.
Load More Replies...How? Because she doesn't want to be a mother and almost was forced to be one?
Load More Replies...I'm a bloke, so saying this hopefully demonstrates I'm not a misogynistic sod. But isn't this the dire situation men have been leaving women in for centuries, as they walk away and quite literally leave her holding the baby, preferring to absolve themselves of any responsibility? Sounds like she had the brains to think this one through... while he did not. My only sympathy lies with the kid.
And she pays 125% of court ordered child support, much more than she needs to. There are many absent fathers doing their best to avoid paying any child support to single mothers, sometimes even despite court orders. Honestly, if the roles were reversed, I'm not sure the court would have ordered him to pay any child support at all or at least not as much because they weren't even engaged and she (if the roles were reversed he) doesn't have visitation or any other rights concerning the child. He seems very immature; he needs to learn he can't force her (or anyone) to care and change her life according to his wishes. He should be happy she didn't sue him for coerced birth, manipulation and harassment and that she agreed to pay any child support at all and very grateful she gave him the child he allegedly so much wanted and didn't get an abortion despite his wishes or give it up to someone else for adoption.
Load More Replies...Have you ever heard a man say he has to "babysit" his own kids? I have. Many, many times. I've NEVER heard a woman say it. This is the mentality we're dealing with.
Yes! Soooo many times and it makes me furious every time
Load More Replies...Her half of the seed is developed and stays in her body. It does not matter what she let you do it was your responsibility to add or not add your half to what was already there. You are directly responsible for bringing that child to life. If you don't want to be a daddy do not ejaculate in women.
She didn't want the child. He wanted it. She was nice enough to give it to him AND pay for it more than she had to. Now he has it. Welcome to the beautiful world of single parenting ! Deal with it. Period.
oopsie, sounds like Ben DOVER (real classy) has been in a similar situation and he's bitter. :(
Load More Replies...I hate how some men act like because they're dating someone, they get to have control over their bodies. "She wanted to have an abortion but I didn't..." Well that sucks for you, mate. Bodily autonomy is a thing. Sadly, sexist a******s exist.
Fetuses are not babies. Until a certain point when their brain develops enough to *almost* feel pain, they are not technically alive/they are brain dead. Even if the fetus is fully developed, it still has no right over the pregnant person. Using the pregnant person's body for nutrients is a matter of whether the person wants it to be there. Once they withdraw consent for the fetus to be in their body, they have the right to remove it. For example, if your sister is dying and the only person who can give her a blood transfusion is you, you still have the right to say no. It's ridiculous; even after you're dead people can't use your organs without consent when you were alive, even if the organs would save someone. Anti-choice people are saying that a pregnant person deserves less rights than a dead body.
Load More Replies...Yes... It's breaking my heart to see how awful those humans are. These kind of situation are why I'm not against abortions... Sometimes being alive is not worth it, expecially when your parents don't want you - that thing scars deep and the wound stays there forever
Load More Replies...To me this sounds like one of those people who fall in love with the idea of something without thinking about the realities. Like a kid who wants a puppy but then gets to find out that raising and training a living thing is actual work and just attempts to foist the responsibilities of other people all while trying to make sure they can still get all of the benefits of the situation.
I think it's more likely he wanted to tie her down to him with the child. It's a common abuse tactic, as most women would not give up their children.
Load More Replies...I had exactly the same thought. How many women are in this "single parent " situation? At least he can count with her money and with help of his family and he can still work. Many women can't do that and don't have that. It's supposed we fill sorry because he is a men , but if would be a woman telling this story everything would be so different. He is crying hungry with his belly full.
I love that expression. "He is crying hungry with his belly full." I've never heard that one before, but, believe me, I will be using it. :)
Load More Replies...YOU CHOSE to bully her into having a child she didn't want. She did NOT have to do that. YOU said you'd raise the child YOU CHOSE to keep. YOU had no legal standing to stop her getting an abortion, and YOU had no legal standing to stop her giving up YOUR son for adoption. ...///... SHE is paying support and YOU made that deal. Suck it up, sunshine. This is YOUR SON. You need your a*s kicked around the block, you sick little puppy.
Yes,he is a idiot, let's not offend puppy / puppies. 😉
Load More Replies...My heart bleeds for this poor child. Even worse, when he is older he very well might find his dad's post.
That is such a good point. The thought never even crossed my mind. That poor kid!!
Load More Replies...This is not a deadbeat parent, ask my three girls what a deadbeat parent is and they will tell you about the father that walked away from them 7 years ago and pays nothing.
As the saying goes " if it happened to men they would make changes immediately" So here is the result of legislation giving the father ability to force birth. Suddenly it leaves a sour taste in his mouth. Oh, wait women have to deal with this all the time. But somehow women get labeled as having babies to get welfare,or "work the system", or (like this guy) having false hope that Love will keep them together.
He had NO right to "force" her to do anything. She CHOSE to carry to term and give the baby up to him as long as that was the end of her involvement. In the long run, it would have been smarter to her to either have an abortion (which is what I would have done) or give the baby up for adoption to strangers.
Load More Replies...It's all been said. However, he is very young and very immature. He hopefully learned a hard lesson that you cant make anyone do anything, you cant control what anyone else says or does no matter how much you wish for it. And, he made this bed and he needs to keep making it every day. I hope the little boy finds good people in his life and in meantime has some caring mentors.
The s****y thing is he clearly didn't learn. He's just pushing the blame on her for not feeling maternal like he hoped.
Load More Replies...I really think this guy doesn't understand that it was all his choices.
The last one is 100% correct. He wanted to keep her, own her, and use her
Resentful.... wtf??? She pays support so she isn't a deadbeat... quit being a petty pr!@k and give your son all and more than you can give. She did not a child and by his own admission he wanted to see this through. I apologize but this whiney beep beep needs to get his head out of his a**e and be a dad.
Look you wanted the child man up and be a great dad or find a great family to adopt to.
This feels like a set up. Could anyone really be so ignorant as to what single moms have been going through for decades? Could anyone be less justified in demanding involvement when the "mother" made her intentions clear and gives financial support? Perhaps, but it seems ridiculous.
Yep, they are out there. I have encountered many males who think that "magical fairy motherhood bonding" will make me suddenly want a child if I had to carry one to term, despite the fact I have never wanted one and been VERY clear on it. I have to resist the urge to slap the stupid out of guys who want to argue that I don't know what I want.
Load More Replies...My children's Mother left when they were 7 and 8. I didn't have time to feel sorry for myself I had two little girls to worry about. I felt guilty that they only had one parent around and sometimes wondered if I was enough but I never thought of them as a burden. I did the best I could was always available to talk about anything and unfortunately that meant anything and everything no matter how uncomfortable it was, but they needed someone and Being their Dad I was that person. Well that was over 20 years ago and now they are both grown up and on their own with their careers and I think I did Okay, But it Truly was the only choice
Since poster "rand0mip"said it all, further comments are superfluous. The "father" was, is and will be a self-centered jerk.
If the roles were reversed, we'd be praising the dad for paying 125% of the child support while simply expecting the mother to raise the child. Now that the roles are reversed, this guy has the nerve, the audacity to say being a single parent sucks and is nothing but hard work. Welcome to what women have had top put up with since the dawn of time and a lot of that time, there was no child support. This guy better man the hell up or find adoptive parents for this child.
Why would you want to force your child onto a person who doesn't want anything to do with them. How could you trust that she would give proper care. Can handle them emotionally? Won't hurt the child? She is not a dead beat...just not a mom. You are doing what millions of single moms do....but with financial support. Hire a sitter once a week for a day off. One day...it helps, trust me.
To be honest, i totally understand her. Nobody should ever be forced to raise kid they don't want and since dude is the one who wanted kid, he has no moral ground to expect her to raise kid. It's not ideal situation, sure, but well, he chose it.
At a restaurant: Waiter: What can I get you? Him: We will both have the steak. Her: I'm a vegan. Can I have a salad? Him: No. Two steaks. Her: Vegan! Him: Two. Steaks. Waiter brings steaks. Him: Why won't she eat it?!
Oh god, what a horrible person this dude is. You realize that it was NICE of her to even give birth to the child?! She could have had an abortion without his consent, because it’s her body, this is extremely nice of her actually! Now she pays more support THAN THE COURT HAS ORDERED, omg this woman is a saint if you ask me. She made it clear she doesn’t want children and we don’t live in the 18th century so WAKE UP. You seem like some kind of closeted sexist who thinks every woman HAS to ant children and their main responsibility in life is to take care of kids. Wtf?! Just get a nanny, for god‘s sake. Or even better give that poor child up for adoption, before you’re gonna nag him with stories about his „horrible mother“ 24/7 and raise a misogynist or even worse, an incel or something. You are the worst.
OMG, welcome to every single mother out there where the man jumped ship and she is left holding the "Bag." Mothers do this day in and day out, go to college, go to work, miss work to stay at home with sick children, get home, fix meals, run the kids to after school events and are totally exhausted! Grow up and quit whining.
"she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that." "I honestly thought she would bond during the pregnancy and would eventually change her mind." Sounds like just another case of a man thinking no means maybe
Dude, it’s so obvious. She is fulfilling her court mandated obligations and paying more. The court can’t force her to visit her kid. So what do you want? A break? Hire a nanny with the extra 25 percent she is giving you. You “expected” her to ding the “magic” ? I’m a parent and needed those breaks too but I could never see myself saying I “resent” my son. I actually have a friend whose ex wife had a mental breakdown and he had to raise both his kids on his own. For years he never even dated. The kids grew and he has some breathing room now. So it goes. Your son needs you. Buckle up and be there for him. You have the right to be tired. You don’t have the right to resent an innocent child who depends on you alone
She’s not a dead beat mom, she paying you to a raise a kid she didn’t want to keep. I don’t think she should even pay child support. She warned you and you took on the responsibility of more or less A green to adopt a child from a mother that didn’t want one
Selfish git, she told you at the outset she did not want the baby and she did not want to be a mom. You are a bully because you thought you could force her to do something she told you she wouldn't. You are the person who demanded the responsibility for your child and now you want to change the terms. Oh well, if you can't love this child the way he should be loved then you should give him up for adoption immediately instead of using him as cudgel against his mother.
First of all, I'm sure this is just a fabricated attempt to make people realize what so many women go through as single parents. However, if they wanted to make it more realistic, they should have cut the support money down from 125% to 0% - which is how much the majority of dead beat fathers are paying.
Sound like he needs a break, nothing more nothing less. We're all worn and tired and frustrated, but thats what we do, as parents.
Being a parent is not easy at all: is frustrating, exhausting, stressful, and a huge etc. This guy wanted to be one and now that he is he found out it´s not funny and even worse: tries to get the ex involved. Well, I´m a single parent, welcome to our world my friend. Your baby is not a toy you can forget just for a while bc you are tired. As they said: Be a man and assume the responsability you asked for.
Yeah, a throwaway account on Reddit. I totally an sure that happened.
I support the remarks on this. She never wanted the baby to begin with. However, people who DID want the baby/babies and then walk away, without contributing anything (other than severe emotional abuse) are complete tossers. I feel for the kid. I would have been happy, if my ex had walked away when my babies were young, even without monetary support (which, he doesn't provide), because it would have meant my girls would have been without the emotional abuse that ensued over the years, before he walked away from them. Only my youngest girl has avoided the outcome.
Not only is the guy a major loser, he's put his genes into the human gene pool. Too stupid to understand birth control, waaaaaay to stupid to not to support the girl when she wanted to get an abortion. The kid is blameless, it's sad he has to deal with you as his father. Time to suck it up little boy and be the man you thought you were when you had sex. Next time, jerk it into a sock like all the other losers do.
I kinda wonder if this is a social experiment. Such as there is the reverse where a man doesn't want the child but the woman does and has it taking full custody and getting child support, but at the same time will want the man who wanted nothing to do with the parenthood to step in as a father. He could do what is wanted of him as far as providing support but will still be called a deadbeat and blamed for impregnating the woman than choosing not to be a part of their child's life.
The problem with my parents is that they both wanted me to themselves because they hated each other. My mum apparently tried to take me to Slovakia with her to get away from my dad but then my dad took her to court and they got shared custody of me but that meant they had to live in the same city
I'll generously assume that much of this guy's angry tone is coming from the exhaustion and frustration of being a single parent. And I will grant that it's admirable for him to be devoted to his kid, and hopefully he will continue to do so. That being said, the mother made her wishes and intentions perfectly clear from the start. This man in no way respected them. For her to pay well more than the court-ordered child support for a child that she made it absolutely clear from the beginning that she didn't want is incredibly generous of her. Hopefully the guy in question will remember all this next time he gets a girl knocked up and expects her to "take one for the team."
As an adoptive mom, I am quite sure there are hundreds of couples who would be more than overjoyed to give this youngster a home. With an open adoption he could even have visitation opportunities with his child after the adoption. So foolish to get himself into this situation, though, so I doubt he is smart enough to see his way out in a manner that benefits the child. Wrap it before you tap it, gentlemen.
This is absurd. This guy is so whiny. We ALL know more than 1 single mother, and eventhough it is hard as hell, they stand up, and do the job without crying like a baby. In what world does this guy live? Welcome to the real world of women, pal!
To be fair, tons of single AND married mothers do nothing but b***h whine and nag about being moms and how hard and thankless it is and then pretend it’s the best thing that ever happened to them. They are trashy too but this guy is different because he actively stopped the mother from getting an abortion when she wanted one.
Load More Replies...So what you learn later in life? Using protection like condoms, pills or other does NOT work 100%. It surely lowers the risk of pregnancy but it's not perfect.
Load More Replies...I had a male friend, he started dating a woman I know. He made it VERY clear he did not want a child. She stopped taking birth control and became pregnant. She tried so hard to make him out to be the bad guy. Spreading all kinds of nasty rumors, etc. I was on his side, he made it very clear he did not want children. He supports the child but has not relationship with him. People should respect/listen to their partners!
He wanted a baby, but he obviously wanted HER to do the parenting. What a whiner.
No he has nothing to b***h about. He got her pregnant ( with help from her also) she did not want it he insisted so be it on his head. Men have done this to women for god knows how long. They always manage with no help from the father. No connection and more often than not no money! That she pays support is more than a lot of blokes in that situation he should be grateful for that. He cannot force her to love a child nor take care of a child she did not want in the first place. He seems to think ALL women are naturally maternal, this is simply not true many are not! He got what he wanted the child he sired. Why should he ask for more? Now he knows how the women of the world feel!
I think this guys assumed that all women have motherly instincts. No way can a woman abandon her child...I chose not to have children, I have no motherly instincts so I chose not to take a chance and bring someone into this world and screw them up by not been able to show them the love they deserve ( and I m the one been called selfish) . I get so annoyed when people tell me "you'll see, it' different when it's your own ". I hope this story will show that feelings don't always change because you gave birth ... You got what you wanted mate ! you made your bed now lie in it but for the childs sake either get help or let a couple that desperatly want children adopt him.
Well lets see, she wanted to kill him in the womb, yet you're somehow surprised that she didnt bond with him during her pregnancy? Dude is having to deal with the reality most single moms have been dealing with for centuries but WITHOUT 125% of child support. Do I think she's a crappy person? Sure. Do I think she's legally obligated to do more than financially support you and the kid? Nope.
As I'm about to become father, I feel so sory for the kid, imagining this kid reading this post, unwanted and denied by mother, refused by father. I just hope that joke-of-a-father will get him adopted as soon as possible to loving family, so the little one will never remember any of it.
Wow. Ill have the wee lad. I am also single parent, working full time, making it work and loving it. My 6yo daughter tells me daily how were the best. this needs some balls and brain cells. Poor little boy.
Why didn't anyone say ANYTHING about this human derelict's failure to use a condom? If he had one scintilla of self responsibility and self respect, he would have thought of that right around the time he wanted to have sex with her. This guy is a moron and complete waste of skin. Poor kid.
As I read this guys whiny post about how he got more than he bargained for, I thought "WTF Dude!?! YOU were the one that wanted the kid! You were the one that wanted the responsibility! Now you're trying to shove it off on her because you have what is the equivalent of buyer's remorse? STFU!" I was also thinking that his family isn't helping because they see him as a dumbass. I prefer adoption over abortion, but it should still have been the girls choice, not the guys. If he wanted to be a parent so badly, then he should have done it the right way by finding a girl who he would have a vested relationship with and commit to being with her first before the kids arrived. Until then, he needs to keep his soldiers in check.
I was thinking, what if the roles were reversed? When this woman wanted an abortion and the guy did not, I thought that the responsibility was all his, and that of course she has the right to want nothing to do with the child. But what if it was a man who wanted the abortion, and a woman who wanted the child? I caught myself thinking that of course he had the responsibility to help and support the woman, since it takes two to tango, and he can not force the woman into have an abortion - he needs to take responsibility for making her pregnant. Many men have been caught in this "trap" having to take care of a child that they did not want. What if the man and the woman have to decide together, and the one who wants to keep it have to sign a contract that he/she understands that there will be no support from the one who wants the pregnancy terminated? At the same time, I strongly feel that it is the woman who should decide if there is an abortion or not (her body).
If you are morally against abortions, that only makes it more important to be careful not to get pregnant/make someone pregnant.
Load More Replies...I dont even know if you'll see this but i had to comment. As it stands, and without going into the how and the why,you are all this child has. Exhausting as it is, they rely on you and you alone, that's as simple as it gets. Your child needs you and probably worships the ground you walk on. Hopefully that thought will help a little. One question though:why would you want someone,the child's mother or otherwise, who has no interest, to help with the parenting? That doesn't make sense. Your child deserves to have people that love and care.
gee whizz think of your son he will grow up resentful knowing that neither of you really wanted him but he was a p**n, best thing you can do is give him to a loving family who want kids to love and nuture honestly you are a sic controlling person . i feel so sorry for the little boy, not you
Good for you rand0mip, you hit the nail on the head as that is exactly what the situation is. Poor little baby, I hope he goes up for adoption because someone needs to love him.
He wanted it, he got to keep it, just like who knows how many women who get raped/knocked up every day and are forced to be single parents with absent fathers. Sorry mate, you're just experiencing the other side of the coin first hand. You thought that she'd just change her mind for you, well tough, she acted 'like a man' and left you with the baby. Suck it up and campaign for single parents everywhere. No sympathy for him, only the child, hoping he doesn't f%^& him up too.
Now replace all of rand0mips rant from male gender to female. How does it sound?
That poor sweet baby in the hands of a man that doesn't even want him.
Terribly, terribly sad. The kid didn't know what raising a child entailed, or that the birth mother truly wouldn't want the child. He is engaging in what is called magical thinking; that just because that's what he wanted/expected, it would make it so. I hope he will get smart and consider giving the little boy up for an open adoption, one that he can be sure will take him as their own, rather than relinquishing him to foster care. The birth mother was clear from the start, and the father was/is unable to hear her. He forced her to go through a traumatic experience, but he still isn't done with wanting to force his will on her. He needs some therapy, ASAP.
The last one has the best come-back. If this guy wanted a kid so badly that he forced a woman into giving birth to the child, then he's the one responsible for raising it. If he finds that too hard, he can give the boy up for adoption. There are plenty of couples dying to adopt a child. But forcing her to raise the kid when she's paying 125% support? He doesn't have a case. If I were the judge I'd laugh him out of court.
After our 4th child,my husband & I would sometimes split the duties ,taking 2 each.Pretty much every time ,we would hear..."Oh you're babysitting for the wife "(?!)," he's so good to you" etc.One time at a family gathering,he changed our newborn's nappy (while I wrangled the 6,4 and 1 yr olds),did I get a "oh aren't you good with them"..? No,but I was told how "lucky" I was,to "thank him"for "doing my job for me" and how "clever"& "brave" he was,how "Grateful" I should be etc..This wasn't him,he always had the view that we made them together,so we were both responsible for their "upkeep".But others always made me feel he was doing me a favor ! Attitudes like that is what creates "manbabies" like the bloke in the article.The creep only wanted the baby to force the poor girl to be with him.She gave up so much to carry & birth a child,when she didn't want or have to have.Yet he paints her as the bad one...All I can say to him is,be careful what you wish for.
I find a lot of these responses really disturbing. Both of these people made a choice to bring a life into this world. She was not forced. That new life should be the primary concern and two involved parents are important. That may not be something legally feasible but morally that kid did nothing wrong and will suffer as a result of their joint irresponsibility.
Assuming the story here is actually real...am I the only one who actually feels sorry for the guy?o.O So much hatred here, that's not how you make the world a nicer place, you know. Imho it sounds like the guy had it for the girl more than she had it for him so he wanted the kid and through it, perhaps a lasting relationship and family with her. But she didn't so now she's out and he's having a very hard time understanding/accepting that, plus is super exhausted and stressed from raising the baby, so he's desperately clinging to straws trying to bring her back. If that's the case, he's made a mistake, but it doesn't quite make him the villain of the year. I just hope he can let it/her go finally, hire a nanny and move on, perhaps to being a great single parent, perhaps even to finding another mom to the kid eventually.
Obviously court forcing the girl to play mother, even if that was legally possible, could only do harm rather than good - not caring for baby now, she'd just hate it then, and she'd definitely hate the guy for forcing her too so who'd that help? It is a stupid idea but to be fair in the context it just kinda sounds really desperate.
Load More Replies...Someone pointed out that maybe this account was fake and the story was written to outrage people? Doesn’t matter but the story is just toooooo perfectly outrageous.
I can not even think of the words to say over this putrid pile of vile bile.
I am speechless to this. This guy has some clear brain issues if he doesn't see anything wrong happening from his side. This whole story is so, so wrong. I also don't understand the girl who went through pregnancy just because he wanted so.
She hit it right on the head , didn’t she. I do hope the child is looked after properly. Maybe you need more time, mane you don’t. But the main issue here, is that child. You need to be honest with yourself. It’s not a toy, you can’t put it back after getting fed up with it. I would seriously consider a lovely family for adoption, give the child what he / she deserves. You will only resent that poor child, and they feel and know that from day one.
I have so much to say but I will just leave it with this.... WHY IN HELL WILL YOU WANT HER TO HAVE VISITATION? She has already proved and said that she doesn't want anything to do with the baby and she wanted to kill him while she was pregnant!! How will you know that she will be responsible to take care of him if your son is with her!? I wouldnt trust her whatsoever! Stop and think about it....also, if you are having rest issues, need help or whatever, ASK YOUR FRIENDS and continue to let you family know what your going through that you need help. Don't be so desperate to do something to help yourself that won't help your son. Your not the only single parent in this world. People do it all the time. Stop being selfish and think of your son! There are so many people that would trade places with you in a second. Like I said, I have alot to say, but if you choose to change your perspective, it will help you to think clearly to help yourself and your issues and also, your son will love and react to you alot better!
this guy probably doesn't have any friends
Load More Replies...I know many women who lives like this. Many. and i'm sure everyone know at least one. this is not rare. Men leave women with kids all the time and this is accepted. This case is different only because he is a man, a father. I don't know why anybody would feel sorry for him. Single mothers are exhausted all the time too. And it's normal for everybody. They often don't have enough money or time to earn enough money. He gets money from her, more than he should, she was honest with him how it would be... i really don't get it what he want. You are tired? Sorry, but i have a kid too, dad of my son lives with us and loves us, and sometimes i'm really tired. That't how it is. Parenthood. She was honest with him. He chose it that way. Welcome to be a single parent. He's fine anyway. I only feel sorry for this little boy.
To this whiny immature idiot: Did you think that because you were able to bully her into keeping the child, you could also force her to be a parent? If you can't hack it, there are plenty of folks out there who would love the kid and also have the maturity to be a real parent. Stop using the courts to get back at your ex (because that's really what your little pity party is about). You are not going to win. Kids can read resentment in the womb and that poor kid didn't ask for any of this garbage from you.
How can you resent a baby? It’s not his fault at all...poor little thing.
She already did way more than she needed to. The last tweet is correct. Awful, abusive men get women pregnant all the damn time so that they will have a slave for at least 18 or so years. It is a form of domestic abuse. My mother had a good shot at a decent future before she got knocked up by my loser of a pedophile father. I never had a chance at a decent life, and she is 85 years old, still living with the consequences of her decision even though he has been dead for years and years. We have never talked about it, but I know we both wish abortion had been legal and accessible when it happened.
Her motherly instincts kicked enough, she gave birth to a kid she didnt wanted, she is paying too much child support for a kid she didnt want, what more? Usually the guy begs and cries he want a kid then leaves and doesnt help at all. Exactly this happened to me. This guy has already too much help from a responsible forced to be a parent mother. What a douche. Yes, caring for a child is hard, thats what women have told forever for a reason.
What an a*****e piece of s**t of a human. Hope he finally made a useful decision once in his life and sign that child off to adoption then castrated himself.
(continued) from a child, but men have done it for eons. So how is it any different? That is YOUR baby that YOU helped create. YOU stood up to take care of him (good job) now your only choices are either shut the f**k up and raise your son, or give him up for adoption. Hell I'll take him, what's one more? (oh and everyone freaking out 3 are biological the other five are my adopted step kids whom I love just as much as if they came from my eggs.)
The poor child!! A father in name but is tired of his new " toy" and has no clue how to really embrace this kid and love him. Give him to parents who will adopt and LOVE him. This guy only really loves himself, and needs to re-assess the situation as WHATS BEST FOR THE CHILD, not for him!
LOL, this sounds like he was trying to tie her down to him. Almost sounded like he wanted someone to take care of him. I respect the woman for being able to not get manipulated.
I would have just got the abortion anyway. It's not his decision. It's a matter of I'm telling you because you're the father. The only answer he should have given is, "I support your decision."
Seriously! I wonder why she would listen to him. Maybe he convinced her it would be like a gift.
Load More Replies...So all this happened two years ago, which makes that poor kid around 3 1/2 now. I really hope his situation is better now, either because his father manned up, or did what should he have done in the first place, and put him up for adoption.
I feel bad for the kid. I can only imagine how things will be when he reaches his teens.
This guy is such an a**e-hat and his description of circumstances so bizarre that I can't help but wonder if this is a made-up post...
What a disgusting sod. Trying to force a family on someone that doesn't want it. He needs to leave her alone, she pays towards the child. He's facing the reality of many single parents, better even because he gets 125% child support. He's facing a reality he knew was coming and chose to ignore and pretend wouldn't happen. The child is better off with adoption.
It's one thing for the father to want help, and another to say he "resents" the child. Even if he does (you can't help how you feel), say that out loud only to the most trusted people, NOT ONLINE. Is this guy 17?
so not only did you force this woman to have a child she didn't want and resent her for doing her legal obligation and nothing more (but really, some more, as she pays more than is mandated), but you posted all this on the internet so your kid can some day find out *exactly* how much no one ever wanted them? the only abusive parent is you.
He wanted the child, she didn't. She still pays child support. I know biological fathers who pressured their women into having kids and now don't pay a penny. She is NOT a deadbeat. You are living with the consequences of your decision and actions. If you need some time off, hire a babysitter! That's what responsible parents do. This post really makes me angry. As a female, as a person who cannot biologically have kids, as a step-mom, as a wife, as a human being who respects the choices of others.
"THEIR women"? excuse me? you don't own human beings!
Load More Replies...I think dads are underrated and there are some very good ones out there. My dad gave up a lot of things to become a single father to me and my sister when the only other given by the courts was for us to go to care (my mum is a nice person and loves us, but wasn't capable) and he's been amazing. My sister-in-law cheated on my brother with his best friend, left him and refuses to give him any access. My brother has fought (and still fighting) for access but the courts are on her side..... On the other hand, there's this guy and my nieces' father who refuses to believe they are his, has never given my sister child support, belittles her, says she is a terrible mother (she's fantastic) and has done the same to other women (at 26 I think he has about 8 kids with 6 different women including my sister)
It’s true there are fathers that do just fine. But that’s not the point of this article. This is talking about a single situation, and I don’t know if your story is entirely relevant.
Load More Replies...Personally, I don't like putting abortion out there as an option (that's my belief but I put that on no one else). I think that if you made the baby, deliver it, and what happens after is up to you whether it be putting the child up for adoption or choosing to start parenthood, whatever. However, I don't think it's moral to force someone into one or the other of those two options after birth. This guy is nuts if he thinks the courts will force her to raise this child. Are men forced to raise their children with the mothers they've abandoned? Last time I checked, no. Saying you resent your child is just f****d up. That's how kids get messed up in the head. What a jackass.
You’re probably the first person I’ve seen who doesn’t support pro-choice but is willing to call it just their own opinion. I do applaud you for that. If this isn’t to personal, are you a man or a woman, and are you a parent? I’m honestly curious, because most pro-life people are men who haven’t had children, or chose to have children.
Load More Replies...Hahahaha!!! What a joke of a guy... My mom had to bring me and my sister up because of an alcoholic dad and he didn't pay jack s--t, so this dude can consider himself lucky compared to the hundreds of thousand of women who don't recaive anything from the fathers... F--k him and his problems. My only concern is if he raises the child to be the same, the world doesn't need more egoistical a-holes. Has he even thought about the mental abuse the mother received for being coerced into giving birth?!?
Wow and just wow!!! Has anyone at all spent 10 seconds thinking about this child whom nobody seems to want or love? Millions of families would give everything to raise and love this little boy. Dad is definitely the deadbeat. Horrible!!!!!
I smell a rat, this is fake now twist it and say that it is really the dad who is a deadbeat.....sad though either way.
Good point Henry. Maybe you should have your own website and be responsible for putting a bunch of different stories on it every week! I'm sure you'd be able to!
Load More Replies...This is so clearly fake, I'm guessing that whoever the woman is that wrote this was trying to get male conservative pro life types to think with a gender reverse scenario, if it works then more power to her, because those guys are crazy and have zero consideration about the impact that forcing women to carry babies has on them, but I'm not buying that any guy is this thick and that any woman would go through 9 months of madness just to gift some random guy she has a casual relationship with a baby she did not want, and then to fork out money on surgery to fix the damage that the pragnancy did to her body, which as a gym type i'm guessing is something she takes pride in, this level altruism is just not believable, even before you add on the monthly 125% child care cost that she's giving up out of her pay packet to support this guy on this endeavour.
These things really happen, maybe not often or they're just not talked about often. My guess is that he somehow guilt-tripped her into feeling like she was obligated to have the kid and then having her own plan to leave right after as in "If you wanted this kid so badly, here! It's all yours!" And she most likely didn't get the abortion cause she either couldn't pay for it on her own at the time or thought he would've done something to her if she had.
Load More Replies...She is responsible.. but my only sympathy lies with the kid too..
The guy is just exhausted like many single parents and needs help. To be honest, women are doing this rather often – making decision to have a baby when men clearly don’t want to, in hope of them “doing the right thing” to get married. And even if biological fathers pay child support, they still complain that dads are not involved in raising a child, and try every way to get them do it - just like this guy does. Do people call it abuse??? No, what people usually say in such cases is “go girl, get him”.
I agree Olga. There should be an “opt out” period for men, equal to the length of the time she has to abort.
Load More Replies...This would've fine if you hadn't added "and be man, not a pussy" at the end
Load More Replies...No. Just the father. The mother was clear about what she wanted from the start. If she was allowed to get an abortion, the child would never be neglected and raised by his idiot father. But the father didn't want to give up his delusional dreams of a wife and child who would follow his every move. He should grow some balls and give the child up for adoption. Give him to someone who will love him properly.
Load More Replies...Well if that’s what they were investigating then they did a p**s poor job. They should have made the man’s hypothetical question more aligned with real problems that single moms face.
Load More Replies...Raising a child is not "just hiring a babysitter". It's a lot of responsibility, hard work and love. It is certainly not ~that~ easy.
Load More Replies...It’s as if all you care about is taking away women’s rights so much that you’ll align yourself with the shittiest people.
Load More Replies...You mean if she tried to stop him from having an abortion?
Load More Replies...You can't force people to be a parent when they don't want to, she made it clear from the start she did not want to. But because he was a selfish a*****e he forced her to give birth and that he will take 100% responsibility, now he can't cos he didn't think 2 seconds ahead. She doesn't want to be a parent, she doesn't claim to be a parent she doesn't even need to pay extra but she does. If the child asks why she didn't get involved then she will tell the truth that she was forced to have him, if he doesn't like the answer he can take it up with his useless dad who wanted to have his mom as a breeding slave basically.
Load More Replies...How? Because she doesn't want to be a mother and almost was forced to be one?
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