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These 40 Sneaky Pets Knew Exactly What They Were Doing, And It’s Equal Parts Genius And Evil
You think you know your pet—until they outsmart you again. From sneaky snack heists to pulling off Oscar-worthy performances just to get belly rubs, our furry companions are often far more cunning than we expect. And honestly? It’s both impressive and mildly terrifying.
So, I asked the Bored Panda community to spill the beans: what’s the smartest, sneakiest, or downright evil thing your pet has ever done? From cats who plot like Bond villains to dogs who game the system for extra treats, these stories might just make you rethink who’s really in charge at home.
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#1
We use word buzzers with our German Shepherd mix. He now has a vocabulary of about 40 word buzzers (and would have more if I could do a better job of keeping up with making them), but earlier on, when we didn’t have quite as many, he showed us how smart he was…
We live on the 3rd floor and noticed that the top of his crate was flush with the windowsill in our bedroom, so I put a dog bed on top of his crate with a ramp so he could get up there himself. But at the beginning, he was a little wary of the ramp, so I would lift him up there, where he enjoyed surveying the neighborhood.
We have a dog bed in the livingroom, and had a “bed” buzzer for him to reference it. We called the dog bed “bunkbed” so that he wouldn’t be confused when we would reference one or the other, but at this point, I hadn’t made a “bunkbed” buzzer yet.
A couple of weeks later, he pushed “outside” + “bed.” “Outside” meant that he wanted to go outside for a walk, or out on the deck to sun himself (now we have a separate “deck” buzzer). I said, “Buddy, we don’t have a bed outside, I’m sorry.”
The next day, he pushed “outside” + “bed” again, and again, I said, “I don’t know what you want, I’m sorry.”
The following day he pushed “outside” + “bed” again and my husband realized, “I think he wants to go on the bunkbed.” So I asked, “Do you want to go on the bunkbed?” and he perked up and started going towards the bedroom, then paused, waiting for me to go with (to lift him up). So apparently, for him, the bunkbed was the bed where he could look outside.
We now have a separate buzzer for “bunkbed” and he climbs up there by himself.
He has also put together “ice” + “food” for dog ice cream cups.
We have a whole bunch of these kinds of instances. He’s very smart (and sometimes demanding) with his requests!
Final score:
110points
Benjamin Brogan 4 months ago
My dog does the word buzzers only we don't have as many (13) so when there's something he wants and there's no buzzer for it, he'll bring it to me or sit and stare at the item, sometimes he'll come and take me by the hand and lead me to what he wants. But the Coolest thing he does is unbelievable! So I'm a Sleepwalker, he lays on my legs at night to keep me in bed!
Scott Tepper (Submission author) 4 months ago
Here's a picture of him with some of his word buzzers in the background. We named him Ryda based on a video game character. ryda-pic-6...74-png.jpg 
Reemerger 4 months ago
An awesome & majestic boy, with the added ability to to use flag code to communicate in case a ship passes by.
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Ripley 4 months ago
Good lord, if I had a "treat" buzzer my dog would be pressing it so fast that her foot would be a blur. "treat-treat-treat-treat-treat-treat-treat-treat=treat-treat-treat . . ."
Scott Tepper (Submission author) 4 months ago
Ok, so, we DO have a treat buzzer. And he does press it several times a day, though I do try to limit them. So I do have to sometimes tell him "Treats all done".
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GalPalAl 4 months ago
Many, if not all animal species are smart but we don't give them enough credit with the exception of humans. Many of us have freedom of choice but tend to use that to do dumb things.
Scott Tepper (Submission author) 4 months ago
You are totally right. I've had dogs most of my life, but it wasn't until I read "How Stella Learned to Talk" by a woman who worked with non-verbal children and noticed that her new puppy learned similarly......that it changed the way I thought about how dogs think. They are much smarter than we think they are. If you haven't read it, it's a REALLY good book.
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Senjo Krane 4 months ago
Can someone please explain. do you have a whole floor full of different buzzers? I've never heard of this.
Scott Tepper (Submission author) 4 months ago
Hi Senjo, I'm so sorry that I didn't see this earlier. I'm happy to explain. It's all based on a woman who is a speech pathologist who works with non-verbal children. She got a puppy and noticed that it learned similarly to how her non-verbal kids learned. So she got a progammable word buzzer (You record a word or words, then when you press it, it plays the recording back) and she recorded the word "outside" and put it by the back door. Every time they went outside she pushed the button. Then after a few days, the puppy pushed the buzzer on it's own, so she let the dog out. After that, the dog understood that if it pushed the buzzer, the owner would let the dog go outside. And then she expanded that with more and more words. There are many people who have a lot of words for their dog. I read a story that says the average dog can handle about 10 word buzzers, but some can manage more. My dog is very smart (German Shepherds are known as working dogs and tend to be alert....
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#2
One day it was really quite windy but Shilo, my Border Collie, still wanted me to go out and throw the frisbee for him. I threw the frisbee into the wind so the wind wouldn't carry it into the neighbour's garden. The frisbee went one way and Shilo watched it and then ran about 50 yards in the opposite direction, stopped, turned around, and sat down. I was really wondering what he was doing, but then the frisbee got caught in the wind and was blown back towards us. It flew past me and towards Shilo and when it was nearly above his head he just jumped up and caught it. I got a lesson on how to work smarter, not harder from my Border Collie that day.
Final score:
87points
Marsha Hultberg 4 months ago
Great story! Dogs are amazing creatures. And Border Collies? Particularly smart.
#3
Years ago, a starving black kitten showed up in my back yard the day before Halloween. Of course I let him stay, and over the next few days, I was able to befriend him. He had a badly infected left eye that needed treatment, so when he finally let me pet/examine him, I bedded him down in the garage, scheduled a vet appointment ,and gave him as much cat food as he could handle.
He ended up becoming one of my housecats, but still seemed to remember what starvation felt like. If I ever was late with a meal, he would paw at the door that led to the garage. I guess he figured that if he could get in there again, the Infinite Cat Food Fairy would come and bless him, and he could have all the food he wanted!
Final score:
73points
Stephanie Did It 4 months ago
Thank you for taking him in just before the most dangerous day of the year for black cats. I believe they do remember hardships and their relief. When I hold Henri and squeeze her the way I did for comfort when she had an URI (upper respiratory infection) as a small kitten, she just melts and drools.
#4
I have a Tuxedo cat named Mortimer. He likes to hide and ambush the other cats. We scold him, but sometimes it's just too hilarious to seriously scold. We have those little cloth cat houses that look like pineapples. He will climb under the padding inside of it, to where it's pretty obvious that something is in there, but you can't see him, and then reach out and swat at other cats.
In another instance, we had a plastic see-through tarp lying on the floor. He LOVES getting under blankets to ambush other cats, so he hides under the see-through tarp. I tell him, "Morty, buddy... No cat is going to fall for that." RIGHT after I say this, along comes Paw Paws, my more 'robust' grey cat. He sniffs at the tarp and Morty reaches out and gets him. I'm not sure which is worse, that Mortimer thought it would work, or that it actually did work on Paws.
Final score:
66points
Son of Philosoraptor 4 months ago
Mister Jones is all black, slinky, looks like a micro panther. Total jerk to his sister. Corners her and plays I'm not touching her! while she screams loud enough to concern the neighbors.
Anthony Elmore (Submission author) 4 months ago
Oddly enough, when we first got him, he was a stray someone found living on their farm and wanted to get rid of. We thought he was she at first, so we called him Morticia. Accidentally did the same thing with another stray kitten we called Merlin who ended up being female. My brother actually adopted her and changed her name to Kopi, but that magical little fluff ball will always be Merlin in my heart.
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Panda Cat 4 months ago
My tuxedo cat Raleigh picked on my housemate's tuxedo cat Ringo. Raleigh was undisputably attractive, and Ringo looked like a dork. One day, I had my bike wheel leaning against the wall at the bottom of the staircase. Ringo wanted to go upstairs but didn’t want to tangle with Raleigh, so he carefully climbed through my wheel, putting his feet through the wheel and therefore the spokes. It was so funny, but we didn’t want to laugh out loud because, well, Ringo could have hurt himself badly. I don’t think Riley ever did anything aggressive to Ringo, but he just carried himself in a way that convinced Ringo that he was all powerful.
#5
My sweet girl Aiko is actually really well behaved. But there are two things that fit this category and both seem to have the same reason. She hates sharing my attention. I work mostly from home, so after a while she figured out that if she unplugged the modem I stopped paying attention to the computer for a bit. The second one she only does when we are outside taking a walk and I have the audacity to pick up when someone calls me. She barks and doesn’t stop until I hang up the phone. I mean she is not wrong, it’s HER time with me and those people need to go away lol
Final score:
61points
JK 4 months ago
In my last job they had a bunch of dead keyboards. I joked that I was going to take them home and leave them in random places for the cats to lounge on. Mind you, I no longer have cats, but I thought it would be an excellent and confusing distraction.
Maik Vos (Submission author) 4 months ago
Lol I think that would be great
Load More Replies... #6
One of my dogs (sadly now at the Bridge) worked out how to open the fridge by turning his head and gripping the door. He would go in and help himself to whatever was there. He was pretty damned clever.
Final score:
59points
Cee Cee 4 months ago
Lola my long gone Siamese did this. Tried a couple of things including a child lock. Nope she still got in. Finally drilled through top and into the door. Dropped a 4" nail. That worked! She knew what she had to do to gain access but no opposable thumbs. Sorry Lola.
fyw48zjdkh 4 months ago
Had a dog that opened the fridge. Had to install a window bolt on the fridge
Load More Replies... detective miller's hat 4 months ago
My Harleyquinn (cat) figured out how to open doorknobs by jumping up and turning the doorknob with her front paws.
Gabby Ghoul 4 months ago
My first service dog was a border collie (she is my avatar here) and she could open the fridge. Among other things, she could also open jars and turn doorknobs. I had child-locks on all the lower kitchen cabinets.
#7
Our golden retriever had a sneaky habit.
She was very well behaved and knew what she was and wasn't allowed to do.
One of the things she was NOT allowed to do was lay on the couch. She had at least 2 beds or dog cushions for herself on the floor (if the cat didn't claim one).
However, as soon as she thought everyone left the house she would go lay on the couch. She was smart about it because as soon as someone came home she would quickly and quietly hop off.
We only noticed when we would go sit on the couch almost immediately when getting home and there would be a warm spot.
When she got older she became lazy and wouldn't vacate the couch quickly enough. So when we came home we would look at her sternly and she would sheepishly slide off.
I still miss her...
Final score:
57points
Crystalwitch60 4 months ago
Dogs SHULD BE ALLOWED ON THE SOFA AND OUR BEDs They are FAMILY n you don’t make family sleep on the bloody floor !! (I hope ) ! Nothing wrong what so ever wrong with dogs on furniture pfft all mine spanning my 60 yrs sleep on the sofa ,and with me on the bed , as it should be , he’s not being naughty ,he’s being family !,
Benjamin Brogan 4 months ago
After all, that's why it's called FURniture!
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#8
This happened about 12 years ago (my cat passed just this past winter at age 18; she had a long happy life though). Dragonfly was extremely smart, and believe me, she understood what was said to her. It was shortly before Christmas and I had a small artificial tree up. A friend and I were sitting on the couch. Dragonfly kept biting one of the branches, and I kept telling her no. Finally, I yelled her name and clapped my hands. She stopped, glared at me, then she leaned forward, licked the branch, then ran off. She knew exactly what she was doing.
Final score:
55points
Tabitha 4 months ago
We rescued a pair of kittens, brother and sister, when we were first married (the brother lived to almost 20). The first Christmas they were 6 months old. The tree went over a couple times, and ornaments were broken because they were still small enough to climb it. The next Christmas, we took fishing line and a plant hook to attach the top of the tree to the ceiling so it wouldn’t topple. However, ornaments still dropped and broke because the tree would suddenly start wiggling violently from two half grown cats who were still small enough to climb it. By the third Christmas, they were too fat to climb it, and we had learned to put unbreakable ornament we don’t really care about on the bottom branches of the tree, so they could bat at them and get them off the branches to play with. But I’ll tell you, those first two years were hell. I’ve had cats my whole life, and I never had kittens who would try to destroy a Christmas tree like that.
BarfyCat 4 months ago
It's essential to have unbreakable ornaments in the "cat zone" of the Christmas tree!
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T'Mar of Vulcan 4 months ago
I read that studies show cats know what we're saying... they just don't care.
#9
We got our love about 13 years ago for me specifically. I am disabled and actively sick. I needed a cat that was bomb-proof. A cat who could handle all of my problems. She decided to teach herself to go get my mom if I don't recover from throwing up in the correct amount of time. She's also sick, however, and on her last month. I'm taking her for a walk today.
Final score:
53points
Tabitha 4 months ago
It is amazing how they keep you company when you’re sick, only taking short breaks to eat or go to the litter box. If you have more than one, they take turns leaving the bed or couch to take care of business, so you always have at least one with you. And some people have the audacity to say cats don’t care about us and are only using us for food. They couldn’t be more wrong about that. They do love us, and try to do whatever they can to take care of us when we’re sick, or cheer us up when we’re sad. Because that’s part of what you do when you love someone.
#10
My dog knows she's not supposed to bring her very big outside-ball inside. But when I am on a work call (wfh) she brings it in, while locking eyes with me, knowing full well, I can't yell at her in that moment.
Final score:
52points
#11
I adopted our little dog Alice while my husband was out of town for work. I just needed some company during his absences and the kids were becoming very independent. He was not initially happy. She has a luxating patella so will occasionally three leg it (according to the vet it isn't painful and surgery would do more harm than good). As she grew these occurrences became rarer. Fast forward 7 years and when it is bedtime my husband makes a big show of yelling "bedtime". Alice immediately jumps onto the floor and will go completely lame until he comes and carries her to the bed. She sleeps underneath his arm and will stretch out her tiny legs into my back and push me away if we try to spoon. I still love her like crazy but never expected that the dog I SAVED would also steal my husband. 😂
Final score:
49points
Tabitha 4 months ago (edited)
Had the same thing happen to me with our dog Scruffy, who died of old age a couple years ago. I am the one who rescued him off the street, during a heatwave, after he was dumped by people who obviously neglected him, judging by the poor condition he was in. ME, I, ME. No one else. ME. Brought him home, gave him a bath because he had fleas, brushed his fur which was full of mats, clipped his nails that were so long they were curling and crossing each other, and fed him til he was full because he was painfully thin. We also got him to the vet and had him neutered. He had finally landed in heaven with two people who loved him like crazy. So which of us do you think he absolutely idolized? The person who rescued him? Nope. He fell head over heels in love with my husband. Looked in my husband as a god. Me, well I was Mom, and he loved me too, but not to the extent he loved my husband. So basically, I was the hero who rescued Scruffy off the street and saved his life (it was over 100 degrees Fahrenheit and he was on a busy street, so one way or the other he would’ve died within a few days, or ended up in the pound—-and the closest shelter was NOT a no-k**l one) so he could idolize my husband, who did none of those things for him. Go figure, right?
Alyce 4 months ago
Bestie had that with her Siamese. She put in all the work to save that cat and the cat hissed at her whenever she came in the room, but adored her husband. Figured out cats can apparently get dementia when the cat started sleeping on her lap...
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Lisa Lilla 4 months ago
My husband does not like cats, not hate, just meh. Well guess who’s lap the cats want?
Bananaramamama (Submission author) 4 months ago
I just revisited this post, that is not my photo...but that is exactly what our Alice looks like 😂
Kristine Pena 4 months ago
BS on the no surgery thing - Our shelter pup had two luxating patellas so we did one then the other. It was expensive and a bit of recovery time was needed but she is as fast as the squirrels now and is really proud of how she can keep her yard pest free!
Bananaramamama (Submission author) 4 months ago (edited)
I completely understand. Her situation was diagnosed at 6 months during her spay. The suggestion was before we tried surgery (because it was a mild case) we would let her mature and grow and see if it would essentially correct itself. And it honestly has. I am a veterinary technician so she has unlimited access to whatever she needs. As she grew it became a non existent problem. My point was she will become completely lame just to get Dad's sympathy. But when she was diagnosed because of her size, age and degree of luxation the vet suggested we give it some time
Load More Replies... Bananaramamama (Submission author) 4 months ago
So does my kids and husband (or so they think 😂)
Load More Replies... #12
Crawl into our bed at 5:30AM ... It's totally ok to sleep in the bed, but where I take offense is when he makes such a ruckus and climbs all over so I can't sleep. Only for him to sprawl all over and sleep, after I evacuated my place. For one braincell, he is an evil genius
Final score:
45points
Bec 4 months ago
We had two beloved cat brothers from kittens to teen years who would sleep on the bed with us, after they passed we adopted princess and she would want to get on the bed pillow and proceed to clean herself on and on until she got the boot. She had to be closed out of the bedroom for many years, but eventually was allowed back in for occasional snoozes on my legs, or to sleep on one of our pillows after we have vacated it.
Son of Philosoraptor 4 months ago
My cat has just started to grab the blanket and physically drag it off me at 430am. Yay!
sturmwesen (Submission author) 4 months ago
Ma'am 😉 how about climbing over you while putting his knees in everyones stomach, "talking" (I guess staff, pit and rotti owners know what I mean), nosing up to your face? but today I got to surprise him with lights on when he was still sleeping elsewhere HA! take that LouLou!
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PurpleCatStencil 4 months ago
My first two cats were 5 years apart and were perfect bedmates. One slept on my right side, the other slept with his head on my left shoulder. No issues. My next two were siblings who would fight over which one got to play capture the flag with my toes... Now, kitties sleep in the living room until I get up for the day.
#13
We took in a cat from a friend; he was a big, smart boy, maybe some Maine C**n. He knew to wait to get into things when we left the house, or just as I would drift off to sleep. No houseplants at any height were safe! He would also wait for me at the window by the front door to meet me after work, and liked to play fetch - which he worked out how to do on his own.
Final score:
43points
Doris Bennett 4 months ago
Our big white cat W.C. was a Klept-O he would steal anything not nailed down and bury it in his litter-box. He also loved to play fetch. I think he thought he was a dog.
Uncle Schmickle 4 months ago
The censored word is C o o n. The breed of cat is a Maine C O O N.
#14
My chonky floof Tig often decides he wants attention at 3 am, when I am sound asleep. He stands on my chest, and when that doesn’t work, he licks my eyelids. Imagine the most sensitive parts of your body being rubbed with sandpaper. It’s an evil thing he has found that works every time
Final score:
38points
PurpleCatStencil 4 months ago
My first kitten, Tracks, would sleep on my left shoulder and boop my eye while in REM sleep. Truly odd way to wake up.
Karen Bryan 4 months ago
Had a friend whose cat would wake him up by running his whiskers over friend's face. Subtle, but effective.
nottheactualphoto 4 months ago
My cat Ginger (rapper name "Heavy G") would stand on my belly with her tiny pointy feet.
#15
Our cat likes dog food, and our dog’s feeder opens when she gets close to the feeder. Our dog sleeps in a crate at night, so the cat learned to push the dog’s feeder close to the crate at night. The feeder would open, and the cat would enjoy dog food all night long.
Final score:
38points
Janissary35680 4 months ago
Be careful with cats eating kibble formulated for dogs. Cats are obligate carnivores and need an amino acid called Taurine to live. Most dog kibble I've seen contains little or none of it.
#16
Female cat comes to get me when her brother doesn't let her eat because she knows he won't dare bully her when I'm around. Also, they both fart on you, which is pure, evil, biological warfare.
Final score:
37points
Tabitha 4 months ago (edited)
Whether it’s a cat fart or a dog fart, both silent but deadly btw, it will definitely wake the dead and trigger volcanic eruptions somewhere in the world, all while melting the paint off the wall. Even my husband’s digestion can’t match it, and that says A LOT right there.
Kombatbunni 4 months ago
Nothing says I love you like a headbutt or a kitty toot to the face, and I’ve had both happen to me 😂
Laugh or not 4 months ago
Kitty toot makes it cute, instead of the bio-weapon it is.
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Helen Rohrlach 4 months ago
When my sheepdog was pregnant, I decided to buy can dog food to feed her as well as her usual dry food. She was farting and having diarrhoea within one day. Never again.
#17
My cat Gretel tries blackmail: if she doesn't get her way, she threatens to pee in the kitchen area while howling loudly to get my attention.
Since she HAS peed there in the past, I take it seriously. I try to find out what she wants but if it's not possible (like me dropping everything and going to bed to keep her warm or making the rain stop Western Australia winter), then the battle of wills is ON!
She may be just a little bit spoilt ... but I did win the "Bring in the live rodents to play with in the air conditioning battle" (Western Australian summer). Not before a rat and then a mouse were mislaid. She got the rat later but we never did catch the mouse.
Final score:
37points
JK 4 months ago
That is so funny! Way back I would catsit and the owners kept a k**l list. June (female tiny tabby) had something like 20. Averil, a very placid black male kitty who was adopted as a stray had just one. So I let them out and told Averil to bring me back a treat. I think he picked up one of June's earlier kills because they would toss the mice back into the woods. I added to his list.
Tabitha 4 months ago
Years ago, we rescued a half-grown kitten, maybe 6 months old, several years ago (if you could call it that, because she apparently loved being wild). At first she was strictly outside, then out during the day and in at night, then 100% indoors (keeps them safe so they live a lot longer than outside cats). Whenever she went outside, she LOVED to hunt. I cannot tell you how many times we let her out when we left for work, then came home to her carnage. She was the serial killer in the neighborhood. There was one animal we still aren’t sure what it was, because what she left behind looked like something Jack the Ripper would’ve left behind after his frenzy reached its peak. It was unrecognizable, but since there was no fur we speculate it was a snake, even though what was left didn’t resemble a snake or any other recognizable animal. After that we decided it was time for Smudgy to become a 100% indoor housecat.
Load More Replies... Bec 4 months ago
Our little kitty terrorists will claw at the furniture until I give in and give them what they want, usually to be let outside.
#18
Henri is the smaller of my two voids, and she's a delicate little lady but very much into everything. Henri slams doors for attention. She gets behind an open door and stands up, pushing and "walking" it closed. She's trapped Loverboy in closed rooms several times. I think the most annoying is when she slams my glass shower door!
Final score:
37points
Ti Al 4 months ago
We had a moment with our two very beloved, now late, cats. The female decided she didn't like her brother, who was a very competent door-opener, anymore. One day I saw her in the bedroom, VERY casually leaning against the wardrobe door. Suspiciously casual. When i heard the door rattle a little bit, she started singing loudly. Yes, her brother was in there. No, he wasn't supposed to be in there. No, she wasn't planning on letting him out. We had lots of people ask us afterwards why we secured every door with a bolt.
Beth Wheeler 4 months ago
I had a cat that was 18 when I had have him put to sleep. He would reach up with his feet and move his doorknob to get in our bedrooms if they were closed. Mine was only closed if my kids had a friend spend the night. He also tried to get into the kitchen and bathroom cabinets. My oldest is 36 and I still have baby locks on the cabinets because of another cat and the dogs.
#19
My dog does the word buzzers, only we don't have as many (13), so when there's something he wants and there's no buzzer for it, he'll bring it to me or sit and stare at the item. Sometimes he'll come and take me by the hand and lead me to what he wants. But the coolest thing he does is unbelievable! So I'm a sleepwalker, and he lays on my legs at night to keep me in bed!
Final score:
36points
#20
One of mine hated closed doors. We had the pull-down handles and she'd open the toilet door and bathroom door - when in use even! Cupboards, as well. She'd steal thawing meat, so I started to put it in cupboards. Nope she opened it, even the ones up top. Next, in the oven's warmer drawer, she got in! Via the back of it actually, although the gap looked too small to me.
She loved to rip up paper too, so we started keeping important papers in a locked cupboard, old cabinet, with an old-style key. She'd watch us do this. I came home one day to find her sitting in front of it with a paw on either side of this key doing her best to turn it - the correct way!! Lucky it was a bit too stiff and she didn't succeed. Animals are not stupid, what they'd do with thumbs is interesting, if not scary.
Final score:
35points
Emilu 4 months ago
Oh gosh, I can only imagine the mischief my birds would get up to if they had opposable thumbs. I assume your cat is the same.
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Judy Reynolds 4 months ago
Many years ago, we had a cat who loved bread. He would rip open the plastic bag and eat the top of the loaf. The only way to stop him was to keep bread in the microwave. He crossed the Rainbow Bridge 15 years ago, and we still keep the bread in the microwave.
Bill Swallow 4 months ago
Chinchillas have opposable thumbs. And are Nocturnal. And love to chew on wires. And are floofy like miniature gas giant planets - so floofy that they can go through enclosure bars like a T-1000 liquid metal Terminator going through a jail door, even if the spacing looks about half of the chinnie's size.
Tabitha 4 months ago
You mean you were able, even if only for a little while, to keep your cat out of the bathroom when it was in use? I can even make it all the way into that room without company slipping in without me knowing it. I’ve just resigned myself to having my furry “bodyguards” in the throne room.
AtMostAFabulist 4 months ago
I have levor handles and my cat can open them. He also knows that a security chain needs to come off before the door opens. If he ever figures out how to do that there will be trouble.
Janissary35680 4 months ago (edited)
I wrote this back in 1998 when we had (among others) a cat named "Tiglat Pilaser" (it happens when you're a historian and your spouse is a Hittitologist) and a GSDxDobe cross named "Kanyak". Enjoy: "I, Tiglat Pilaser, having determined that the Big Feet keep their most precious comestibles in the Colde Boxx, endeavored to open same by inserting my paw beneath the door of the Colde Boxx and, having seized the rubber gasket thereof, would have drawn the door open except that my strength sufficed not. Whereupon I sent mental instructions to the Dog of this Abode, said Dog’s name being “Kanyak”, with the command “Open the door of the Colde Boxx.” And the aforementioned Kanyak did rise from his ensconcement and proceed posthaste to the door of the Colde Boxx and with his snout he did pry open its door. Whereupon I gazed on the contents thereof and my heart was gladdened...
Janissary35680 4 months ago (edited)
... For there was meat and there was fowl and there was fish and there was cheese and there was butter and there was milk and there was cream. Whereupon I summoned my brethren saying “Hasten hither for there is much to eat and the Big Feet are not about.” And whilst we feasted upon the contents of the Colde Boxx we suffered the Dog to gnaw upon the meager remnants of the carcass of a bird sacrificed to the Big Feets’ Demon of the New Year. And having denuded the aforementioned Colde Boxx of its contents we Masters of the Universe did set to cleaning and preening ourselves in our contentment until the sound of a Big Foot implement being inserted into the door of the Abode did cause us all to Beat It. The best part is that the Dog got blamed for it all."
Load More Replies... #21
When my cat wants wet food, but it's not time for wet food she will wait for me to pass by again, sometimes meow until she gets my attention, then run to her food bowl. She'll then make a show of eating the dry food and spitting it out on the floor like 'I'm trying human to eat the dry food, but it's simply not edible!' She'll try this for like 10 minutes before giving up and eating the food in her bowl and what she spit out onto the floor.
Final score:
34points
Bonesko (Submission author) 4 months ago
Yeah, she's my smart little a*****e 🥰
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GalPalAl 4 months ago
Have an antisocial cat that I took in from my neighbor who passed. After years of working on befriending her, she has turned into the cat who just wants to see me for wet food. Goes to the empty bowl looks at it, then at me and pouts. Mind you, she likes the dry food but ALWAYS wants more wet food.
Bonesko (Submission author) 4 months ago
Similar story here. She was a stray, all skin and bones. She was so weak she could barely take a few steps. Took a couple of months for her to become healthy. Now years later she's your run of the mill entitled cat haha. Its amazing how a little care and time turn them into demanding furry queens.
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#22
I’m lucky my birds can’t get up to too much mischief! 😆 Aside from constantly trashing my floor by dropping stuff on it, the main thing I need to deal with is my conure mocking me. Eg: I’ll cough (I have asthma, so it happens a lot) and then a few seconds later I’ll hear this *cough… cough…* from down the hallway. Or I get “go to sleep!” parroted (pun intended) back at me.
I didn’t even try to teach him to talk, and conures aren’t known for their talking ability. I just have an annoying one.❤️
Final score:
32points
Bored Birgit 4 months ago (edited)
Give him a partner, he certainly will be distracted from parroting you. 🐦💚🐦
Emilu (Submission author) 4 months ago
I would like to one day but I’ll need to be careful. He can be aggressive around other birds (admittedly, I haven’t had him around fellow conures, but he’ll try and take a chunk out of my cockatiels if he can get away with it).
Load More Replies... GalPalAl 4 months ago
I promise you that even though it seems annoying, if he stopped doing it, you would miss it.
Emilu (Submission author) 4 months ago
Oh absolutely. He can be a pain, but I adore him ❤️
Load More Replies... #23
Chicco 🐕 leaves toys and bones EXACTLY where I'm going to tread on them. It's uncanny. He's got my movements in the house honed down to a science.
Final score:
31points
Bored Birgit 4 months ago (edited)
My cat Nelli does this with a small bird that has a sound chip, so that I step on it at night when going to the bathroom. And I swear, I can hear her chuckle every time! 🤭
#24
Well, it doesn't seem 'Evil', and I'm not sure it's 'Clever'. Does 'Weird' count? We have a rescue tabby named Apollo who plays Fetch. He was lonely (we had three cats total, all rescues, and no two of them could stand each other) and kept wailing about no one loving him or playing with him or paying attention to him (he *LIES*). So we got a kitten for him. Another rescue tabby, a four month old neutered male. Very curious, *very* hyperactive, VERY hard to contain, so we named him 'Pixel', after Robert Heinlein's 'The Cat Who Walks Through Walls'. Within a week, Apollo had taught Pixel to Fetch. And, I have to say, the kid has Brought Balance To The Furs. Our cats all seem to get along OK now.
Final score:
31points
Bill Swallow (Submission author) 4 months ago
It's really weird seeing a cat play Fetch. I throw a cat toy or a ping pong ball; Apollo chases it at hyperspeed, then trots back with it in his mouth and drops it for me to throw again. Now he has Pixel doing the same thing. Is this common among cats? Here's Apollo and Pixel - Apollo-and...bc8f6e.jpg 
Rosemary . 4 months ago
It is common for cats to play fetch, although it's funny to see. Cute kitties!
Load More Replies... Bill Swallow (Submission author) 4 months ago
I should add - Apollo will play Fetch WITH HIMSELF if he's bored and no one will play. That is, he will pick up a ping pong ball, carry it over to the basement steps, drop it down the stairs, then run down after it, chase it around, then bring it up back upstairs and repeat the cycle. OUR CAT HAS INVENTED THE SLINKY!
Panda Cat 4 months ago
My kitty boy played fetch but now he’s almost a year old and has quit! IMG_7690-6...7-jpeg.jpg 
Damned_Cat 4 months ago
I read an article once about a study that showed that the more cats you have, the better they get along. I think it was that several cats will see themselves as a colony with a need to share resources instead of competing for them like just 2 or 3 cats might even when there's obviously plenty for everyone.
#25
I store my baseball caps in an antique picnic basket on top of an armoire at least six feet tall. My orange tabby, Jerry, has figured out how to jump up on top of the armoire (I have no idea how) and how to get the VERY heavy lid open and crawl inside. He won't come out unless I shake the treat canister, and now my hats are covered with hair.
Final score:
30points
Beth Wheeler 4 months ago
I had a cat that could jump to the same height as my son's face who is 6: 6 ' tall to get a toy that he absolutely loved.
#26
My tabby is such a sweet cat. He knows when I am sick or having migranes. He comforts me by lying the whole day next to me on the bed.
Normally he is very actif and loves to go outside, but when I am feeling sick he decides to stay with me. Love him ❤️
Final score:
29points
Panda Cat 4 months ago
I’ve been feeling lousy today and my kitty boy has been checking on me by standing on my chest on my chemo port. Still, he's a bit skittery so I don't make him get off. He seems to have decided I’m going to commit catricide when I do evil things like taking his collar off!
#27
I keep a treat container on my nightstand for "bedtime cookies." It's the kind with a button on the lid to keep the lid on. My cat has learned that if staring intently at the container doesn't yield the desired results of cookies, then knocking off the nightstand on the off chance it pops open is the next step. It's happened at least 2x, so now we keep the cookie container on the floor.
Final score:
28points
#28
Orangie. He ate every rubber band and yards of string. What did not make sense is that it was never found in the litter box and he never exhibited signs of distress. He also ate the nerf darts we would use for chase play if I didn't find them all and put them in an Orangie-proof place. I would find the little blue nubs a few days later. He must have had a very odd digestive system. He definitely earned his nickname P00P.
Final score:
26points
detective miller's hat 4 months ago
I cannot keep anything that remotely resembles string/ribbon out in the open, or Harleyquinn will try to eat it. I used to always tie Christmas gifts with coloured string, but no more! Not risking Harley needing emergency surgery to remove it after it gets tangled in her guts.
JK (Submission author) 4 months ago
Hey, thanks for the photo upgrade! When I was a kid my mom liked that stringy tinsel stuff and our Siamese would go to town. Those definitely made it into the box.
Load More Replies... #29
Through the summer short nights my dog Jasper has decided 3:30 in the morning is getting up time. This, of course, ensures the other 2 get up too and want breakfast. Very annoying. Luckily, I'm retired, so I go back to bed after lunch. Even so, I'd much rather he didn't.
Final score:
26points
Richard Iachetta 4 months ago
Please enjoy getting up with them at 3:30. Someday they will have passed and you will wish you had to get up at 3:30 again
#30
I have an orange FEMALE tabby [1 in 5 or 10, can't remember which are females but orange tabbys are usually male]. Unique lives up to her name. She can open my apartment doors whether they are push-open like the bedroom or pull-open like my outside doors. To wake me up she is 😈 evil. She grabs my foot and bites my toes. She then runs put of the room. When I go to make my coffee, she runs up and grabs the back of my leg trying to bite me. Evil cat that hates me lol. Yet she has to have access to me or sits at the door crying. If I don't open it she keeps jumping and hitting the door handle until she opens it, then just struts in. Unique also walks on a leash. Funny little girl.
Final score:
23points
nottheactualphoto 4 months ago
I had a girl orange tabby named Whisky. I've posted her picture here before, but BP doesn't allow that anymore. What a sweet kitty.
Panda Cat 4 months ago
Sure they do with DuckDuckGo and Safari. There ought to be a little camera icon in the same space as where you enter text. IMG_1359-6...e-jpeg.jpg 
#31
Q-Tip will hide in the bathtub or in the shadows around the corner to get the jump on his brother. If he sees me first he will lay down and roll over like the most innocent kitty ever.
Final score:
23points
#32
I have a little Calico cat and I love her dearly. But she has her own personality. She has little, slender paws, all feminine and cute. But they're less cute when they dig into my shoulder blades while I'm sleeping! They look like chopsticks! It's her way of waking me up early in the morning to give her food (even if her bowl is still full).
Final score:
22points
Tabitha 4 months ago
That reminds me that my two cats and my dog ALL need to have their nails clipped. Cue the three wrestling matches I have to fight to give all three animals a “mani-pedi”. Twelve legs. Five claws each (counting dew claws). Sixty—-60—separate claws to clip, all while wrestling with each one of them to get the jobs done, and for small animals they can sure be freakishly strong when it’s claw-clipping time. Or bath time for the dog.
Panda Cat 4 months ago
Be grateful that you have to do this. I’ve adopted 2 declawed cats. Poor kitties.
Load More Replies... Bored Birgit 4 months ago
Ah, my cat Nelli jumps from the cat tree on my belly with a "mew" sound early in the morning when she decides I have had enough sleep. Between 5 and 7am usually. Always gives me a kind of heart attack.
GalPalAl 4 months ago
Had a cat with similar build and did the same thing to me. I truly believe from the psychological issues she had that she didn't understand how claws work. She would always try to get my attention by putting her paw on me and the claws were always out. If I was able to get her to a vet (psychological issues), I would have asked them to trim the claws.
Frances Pitchoune (Submission author) 4 months ago
My beautiful little Calico passed away on Monday 😔 She had jaundice and some signs of cancer. It was incurable. I had to make the decision to have her put down. I miss her very much. My heart is breaking.
#33
My daughter's cat, Dune (a Devon Rex), bites her in her sleep and wakes her up! Even though, she has tried playing with him A LOT before bedtime to tire him out. And he will bite anywhere. During the day he will randomly bite people without warning, and he is not doing it for attention, as he casually walks away afterwards. My daughter asks if cats can feel remorse and I tell her this one doesn't! We love him anyways.
Final score:
21points
Ms.GB 4 months ago
My dad had a cat when he was single and he told me he once woke up in the middle of the night and his toe was hurting really bad but he didn't know why. He sat up and he's tall so his feet were right at the edge of the bed and his cat was hanging off his big toe by it's claws.
Damned_Cat 4 months ago
My husband and I used to have a little calico cat. When she was a kitten, she loved to sneak up on my sleeping husband who had a thick "80's moustache and chew or pull his moustache hairs as hard as she could. I blamed the hubby for keeping me awake because he was jumping up and cursing in the middle of the night.
#34
My dog, Olivia, likes to sneak up on her blind sister (lula) and scare her. We scold her but she dosent listen
Final score:
21points
•XxWillowxX• (Submission author) 4 months ago
I think so too, but lula is very old and has back problems so she cant really play
Load More Replies... #35
At the end of the day around dinner time, our cat would walk on the piano keys, because he knew that it would upset me…
I would yell at him, our dog would play cat cop, barking at the cat to get off the piano.
Once the house was in an uproar, I would realize what time it was and feed them both dinner.
Smart little SOB (cat) had me trained really well!
Final score:
21points
#36
Wakes me up at 5/6 in the morning but not on the days I have early shift. And if I don not open the door he bites me when at the toilet. The little *ss is however very cute but he needs to sh*t up in the morning.
Final score:
20points
Beth Wheeler 4 months ago
I'm usually awake at 6 when my alarm goes off. If I don't get up I also have one on my phone for 6:30. If I don't get up usually my male German Shepherd mix will lay his head on my legs or lap. A couple of times when I fell asleep in the recliner the little 100 lb snot divebombed me. Come on woman we gotta go pee NOW! His 85 lb sister will put her foot on me and dig in, she uses her foot like a hand to grip.
Kristiina Männiste 4 months ago
Our family cat does this. I usually wake up 6 (ish) but like to sleep in on free days. The cat, rather appropriately named after Luna from Sailor Moon, will absolutely trash the bedroom door to get me out of bed on time. She has also tried to teach me how to fight evil by moonlight (aka catching mice) by bringing me live mice when Im weeding my flower garden. But she seems to have given up after her second attempt ALSO resulted in me shrieking and jumping in surprise. (I was sitting on grass and the mouse was heading straight towards my baggy shorts to hide. I did NOT wat a mouse in my shorts)
#37
Samson Stimpson recognizes the numeral 6. That means kibble time. Commence with cat noises.
Final score:
18points
Judy Reynolds 4 months ago
I used to feed my dog at 5 PM. I have a clock that makes different bird noises on the hour. 5 PM is a honking goose, so he would run around madly, barking, at Goose O'clock. Sadly the Rainbow Bridge...
#38
Minnie cat, when she dastardly cuddles up to me and keeps me from moving for quite some time. I'm knot, just going to keep taking that.
Final score:
17points
#39
Every morning, both of my cats come in to the bathroom, while I am sitting there doing my business, and sit and stare at me in unison. They want their morning brushing.
Final score:
15points
#40
Max the Black , Cat of New Jersey, knows what he said . . . and so does everyone at church that day. He knew. He knew not everyone could pet him at once. That one, little mew.. That joy entropied, . . and all the bells were ringing . . ..or .. - the truth - It's when he wakes me up to sneeze on my face.
Final score:
12points
Panda Cat 4 months ago
I think a black cat went to church in New Jersey. He spoke briefly, maybe about being petted but telling the congregants they had to take turns. The church bells rang, signifying the service was over. Or maybe it didn't really happen. Maybe the dream ended when he sneezed into his human’s face. 🤷🏿♀️ That's the best I can do with information provided.
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What do you think ?
SD 4 months ago
In the wee hours of the night, my cat likes to play in her water bowl in my bedroom. Then she jumps on my bed and has a love fest by kneading my unprotected armpit with her soggy paws while purring and drooling up a storm. She is polydactyl so has five toes on each front paw. That’s a lot of wet, cold kneading power, but it’s her form of love do I just roll with it. 😻
FlamingoPanda 4 months ago
I had a dwarf hamster that would bite me if my blood sugar was low when I was playing with him or cleaning his cage, he never bit me at any other time. And currently have a smart ginger male (if you are wondering where the orange cat braincell is it is likely with Geronimo). He understands how to show me where the treats are, he tells me when he wants out, he grabs my hand gently when he wants pets and he understands when I tell him to be gentle when he is playing with me.
Emilu 4 months ago
My comment for this was #18. Said conure will also, if he’s in his cage and feels he’s not getting enough attention, use his beak to make a loud ‘knocking’ noise against the bars of the cage. Again, didn’t teach him this. He’s just my loveable green t**d. ❤️
Emilu 4 months ago
Here's a picture of the loser. His real name is Cheeky (which is fitting) but it morphed into Roll because of Chiko Rolls (not sure if they're an Aussie only thing?). He was called Chiko Roll for a while, now he's just Roll. I think he'd probably be "WTF" if someone tried to call him Cheeky at this point. Roll-2-687...b57fab.jpg 
T'Mar of Vulcan 4 months ago
My brother's old lady, a Russian Blue mix, will meow constantly until you move her cat bed out of the sun into the shade, or vice-versa.
Ghostpotato 4 months ago
So you know how cats clean themselves by licking their paw and stroking it over their head? My cat started getting stiff joints in his old age (he's got medication for it now) and figured out that he could use my hand instead, so when I went to pet him he'd lick my hand and rub his head on it!
SD 4 months ago
In the wee hours of the night, my cat likes to play in her water bowl in my bedroom. Then she jumps on my bed and has a love fest by kneading my unprotected armpit with her soggy paws while purring and drooling up a storm. She is polydactyl so has five toes on each front paw. That’s a lot of wet, cold kneading power, but it’s her form of love do I just roll with it. 😻
FlamingoPanda 4 months ago
I had a dwarf hamster that would bite me if my blood sugar was low when I was playing with him or cleaning his cage, he never bit me at any other time. And currently have a smart ginger male (if you are wondering where the orange cat braincell is it is likely with Geronimo). He understands how to show me where the treats are, he tells me when he wants out, he grabs my hand gently when he wants pets and he understands when I tell him to be gentle when he is playing with me.
Emilu 4 months ago
My comment for this was #18. Said conure will also, if he’s in his cage and feels he’s not getting enough attention, use his beak to make a loud ‘knocking’ noise against the bars of the cage. Again, didn’t teach him this. He’s just my loveable green t**d. ❤️
Emilu 4 months ago
Here's a picture of the loser. His real name is Cheeky (which is fitting) but it morphed into Roll because of Chiko Rolls (not sure if they're an Aussie only thing?). He was called Chiko Roll for a while, now he's just Roll. I think he'd probably be "WTF" if someone tried to call him Cheeky at this point. Roll-2-687...b57fab.jpg
T'Mar of Vulcan 4 months ago
My brother's old lady, a Russian Blue mix, will meow constantly until you move her cat bed out of the sun into the shade, or vice-versa.
Ghostpotato 4 months ago
So you know how cats clean themselves by licking their paw and stroking it over their head? My cat started getting stiff joints in his old age (he's got medication for it now) and figured out that he could use my hand instead, so when I went to pet him he'd lick my hand and rub his head on it!
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