Guy Breaks Up With GF Of 3 Months Because She’s Pregnant And He Doesn’t Want To Be A Dad
Interview
An unplanned pregnancy can turn anyone’s life upside down. It might be an unexpected blessing that a couple is thrilled about, or it could throw a wrench into their future plans. And it can make things even more complicated when both parents disagree on whether or not to keep the child.
Below, you’ll find a saga that was recently shared on Reddit, detailing how one man and his ex-girlfriend had a difficult time deciding what to do after finding out that they had a little one on the way.
This man has always known that he doesn’t want to have children
Image credits: Alena Darmel (not the actual photo)
So after finding out that his girlfriend was having a child, he decided that would be the end of their relationship
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION (not the actual photo)
After his first post, readers shared their thoughts and advice
The man also shared more details about the situation after reading some responses
He noted that he consulted a lawyer and took a paternity test as well
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)
Image credits: BurningBurner1600
The man also addressed questions about the possibility of getting back together with his ex
Readers were curious about the man and his ex-girlfriend’s families, as well as his future plans, so he explained the situation further
Later, he shared another update after receiving the results of the paternity test and explained the options he gave his ex
Image credits: Cody Portraits (not the actual photo)
Image credits: BurningBurner1600
Readers continued sharing their reactions to the situation, and the OP chimed in with more of his thoughts
“Get a vasectomy, so you don’t have to go through all this”
We reached out to the man who shared this story on Reddit to hear how he’s feeling about the whole situation now, and he was kind enough to answer a few questions for Bored Panda. “I’d rather she have just aborted the kid, but I guess this is about as good as I’ll get,” the OP shared.
As of now, he says he’s unsure when exactly the baby is coming, but he assumes it’ll be about 5 or 6 months from now. And thankfully, he noted that his sister and her wife are very excited. The OP also shared that the responses he received from Reddit were very helpful, so it appears that sharing all of these posts was worth it.
And as far as any wise words the OP has for men who may find themselves in a similar situation, he says, “Get a vasectomy, so you don’t have to go through all this [crap]. If you get turned down like I did, then try harder than I did to find someone else. If you end up where I am, then good luck I guess. Just trust your gut? I don’t know, I’m not an expert, I’m still figuring my [stuff] out.”
Image credits: August de Richelieu (not the actual photo)
Nearly half of all pregnancies are unplanned
In this day and age, we have better access to birth control than ever before in the past. We have condoms, contraceptive pills, intrauterine devices, arm implants and more. Yet with all of these tools at our disposal, we still can’t seem to prevent unplanned pregnancies. According to the United Nations Population Fund, nearly half of all pregnancies around the globe are unintended. Even in the United States, 46% of pregnancies are unplanned, the New York Times reports.
But an unplanned pregnancy isn’t always perceived as a bad thing. Sometimes couples are thrilled to receive the news that they’re going to be parents, even if they weren’t actively trying yet. They might have always dreamed of starting a family, and if they’re financially stable and ready to bring new life into the world, they might be over the moon.
On the other hand, however, expecting parents might be scared, stressed and overwhelmed by the idea of bringing a little one into the world. And if that’s the case, it’s important for them to understand that they do have options.
Image credits: Marco Verch (not the actual photo)
It’s important for couples to know that they have options when a pregnancy is unexpected
Healthline explains that when an unplanned pregnancy appears, couples must first consider whether or not they even want to be parents, as well as whether they’d like to parent together or separately. And if they’re not interested in being parents at all, there are other options to consider. The mother in this particular situation didn’t seem interested in entertaining the ideas of abortion or adoption, but for some women, these are perfectly viable options.
Being a parent can be scary, and it’s certainly expensive and time consuming. If a couple is too young to be able to provide for a child, they don’t have enough income to support a family, or they were simply never interested in having kids in the first place, they shouldn’t feel forced into it. Arranging an adoption is possible almost anywhere, and while having an abortion may be a bit trickier logistics wise, depending on where you live, it can be the best move for some couples to make.
It’s also important to assess your current lifestyle before deciding on whether or not to bring a child into the world. Are you used to traveling every weekend or staying out late every night? Would you have a difficult time giving up drinking or smoking? Are you healthy enough to provide a healthy home for a baby?
Image credits: Dave Goudreau (not the actual photo)
While being a single parent may not be everyone’s first choice, it does work for many families
In cases like this story, where one party is happy to raise a child and the other isn’t, single parenting is another viable option. And while it might sound difficult to imagine raising a child all on your own, it might be even worse to pressure a partner to stick around when they’re not actually interested in parenting.
Plus, plenty of parents raise their little ones without a partner. In fact, the United States has the world’s highest rate of children living in single-parent homes, the Pew Research Center reports, with 23% of kiddos living in homes with only one adult. In fact, kids raised in healthy single parent households are just as happy as kids raised with two parents.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this saga in the comments below, pandas. Do you think this man was right to break up with his girlfriend? Or would you have handled the situation differently? Feel free to share, and then if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda article discussing similar relationship drama, look no further than right here.
Image credits: Wesley Mc Lachlan (not the actual photo)
Finally, the man shared another update explaining the agreement he came to with his ex
Image credits: Sora Shimazaki (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
He also added a summary of their final decisions, as well as some of his future plans
Image credits: BurningBurner1600
Readers shared even more advice for the man, and the OP answered a few more questions
Any guy that knows they never want kids should probably just get a vasectomy, so they won't end up in this situation.
Well he did try but it's not easy. There are always those who are like "But what if you change your mind" or outright refuse to do it if you are below a certain age
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This was several decades ago, but my mother "accidentally" got pregnant to get my father to marry her. She knew was getting sick and needed someone that was going to take care of her. It didn't work. He was a 22 year old bartender who was neglecting the two kids he already had. She was 34. He left before the shotgun wedding and stayed out of my life for the most part. I don't blame him. He would have been a worse present father than he ever was an absent father. And for those who say those who don't want to have children are selfish an won't have someone to take care of you when you're old... as an child nursemaid and emotional punching bag for my mother, that's a horrible and selfish reason to bring a whole other soul into the world.
All of this could be avoided if doctors respected patients' wishes. I have lived in US and UK and tried to get tubal ligation, and in both countries I was rejected by multiple doctors in the US because I might change my mind (when I countered with, adoption is always an option this was ignored) and in the UK because my theoretical future husband might not agree. On the other hand, they would let me join the army, which I definitely would regret because I'm an adult. Why can't I make birth control decisions? A neurological condition prevents me from taking homonal birth control, and four months into a copper coil I was still bleeding, which led to dangerous anaemia. A few years later I'm happily partnered with someone who also doesn't want kids and they won't give him a vesectomy either. We keep trying, but if conservatives are really anti abortion, they should help us access effective birth control.
I so LOVE the adoption option - 1st you need the guaruntee that the child is PERFECT - or it will sit, being bounced from loveless foster families to loving and then loveless again. 2nd - The MOTHER is literally putting her life and health on the line to have this fetus grow and be born. not only death, but an even more likely cause of lifelong disabilities ( if you don't think urinating every time you sneeze is not embarrassing- try again and that is a minor issue).
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Any guy that knows they never want kids should probably just get a vasectomy, so they won't end up in this situation.
Well he did try but it's not easy. There are always those who are like "But what if you change your mind" or outright refuse to do it if you are below a certain age
Load More Replies... This was several decades ago, but my mother "accidentally" got pregnant to get my father to marry her. She knew was getting sick and needed someone that was going to take care of her. It didn't work. He was a 22 year old bartender who was neglecting the two kids he already had. She was 34. He left before the shotgun wedding and stayed out of my life for the most part. I don't blame him. He would have been a worse present father than he ever was an absent father. And for those who say those who don't want to have children are selfish an won't have someone to take care of you when you're old... as an child nursemaid and emotional punching bag for my mother, that's a horrible and selfish reason to bring a whole other soul into the world.
All of this could be avoided if doctors respected patients' wishes. I have lived in US and UK and tried to get tubal ligation, and in both countries I was rejected by multiple doctors in the US because I might change my mind (when I countered with, adoption is always an option this was ignored) and in the UK because my theoretical future husband might not agree. On the other hand, they would let me join the army, which I definitely would regret because I'm an adult. Why can't I make birth control decisions? A neurological condition prevents me from taking homonal birth control, and four months into a copper coil I was still bleeding, which led to dangerous anaemia. A few years later I'm happily partnered with someone who also doesn't want kids and they won't give him a vesectomy either. We keep trying, but if conservatives are really anti abortion, they should help us access effective birth control.
I so LOVE the adoption option - 1st you need the guaruntee that the child is PERFECT - or it will sit, being bounced from loveless foster families to loving and then loveless again. 2nd - The MOTHER is literally putting her life and health on the line to have this fetus grow and be born. not only death, but an even more likely cause of lifelong disabilities ( if you don't think urinating every time you sneeze is not embarrassing- try again and that is a minor issue).
Load More Replies...
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