Wife Babysits Husband’s Coworker’s Kids, Then Starts Noticing Red Flags In Their Marriage

It will take a great deal of effort to win back the trust of someone you have cheated on. In the process, you will deal with their constant doubts and questions about your every move, which you can’t really blame them for.

This was a reality between a couple where the husband had a history of infidelity. To make things worse, he got close to a female colleague and involved his spouse in the other woman’s family affairs. 

The wife had been utterly confused, but her gut instincts had been sounding the alarm. She now turns to the Reddit community for some much-needed answers.

Regaining a spouse’s trust after infidelity requires effort

Woman looking suspicious and stressed while man stands behind her, relating to nannying his girlfriend’s children for free.

Image credits: sedrik2007 / Envato (not the actual photo)

However, a man who had a cheating past did quite the opposite with his wife, who chose to stick it out with him

Text screenshot showing a woman’s message about babysitting her husband’s female friend’s children and feeling suspicious.

Text about husband quitting drinking, starting therapy, but struggling with rescuing other women, raising suspicion.

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Woman suspicious of husband’s coworker nannying his girlfriend’s children for free while dealing with CPS involvement.

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Text excerpt showing a woman suspicious of her husband’s coworker while nannying his girlfriend’s children for free.

Woman in mustard sweater looking stressed while nannying children at home, suspecting husband's coworker involvement.

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The man’s behavior became more suspicious, leaving his spouse in a state of stress and confusion

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Woman gets suspicious of husband’s coworker after free nannying his girlfriend’s children at home.

Alt text: Suspicious woman reflects on nannying husband’s coworker’s children for free, raising concerns about the situation.

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The woman provided more information about her story

Woman suspicious of husband’s coworker while nannying his girlfriend’s children for free, reflecting on her feelings as a mother.

Text about helping with child care while being suspicious of husband’s coworker and nannying his girlfriend’s children.

Telling a spouse with a cheating past to no longer befriend someone from the opposite sex can be tricky

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According to the woman, their therapist told her husband to no longer be friends with a woman, given how he’d been unfaithful in the past. However, navigating these waters can be quite challenging, according to some experts we spoke with. 

Licensed psychotherapist Jessica Foley, LMHC, says it wouldn’t be fair because it promotes a “sense of untrust,” which may cause such rules to backfire in the long run. 

Meanwhile, licensed psychotherapist and betrayal trauma expert Christina Kantzavelos, LCSW, pointed out that setting these rules depends on intent and context because setting boundaries is different from enforcing control. And if a spouse’s interactions continue to trigger their partner’s betrayal trauma, requesting limitations would be appropriate. 

Communication expert and University of Illinois Springfield director and professor, Dr. Beth Ribarsky, recognizes that friends from the opposite sex can be a source of tension. She adds that even if physical infidelity doesn’t happen, emotional cheating could be a considerable risk. 

If couples must go down this road, Voyager Recovery Center Medical Director Dr. Lori Bohn, PHMNP, says they should approach it from a place of empathy. 

“Naturally, feelings may run wild, but putting complete bans on social contacts is likely to breed ill feelings and an undue imbalance in the relationship,” she said. 

Betrayed spouses must recognize the signs of whether or not the marriage is worth staying in

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It would’ve been a less complicated situation if the couple in the story hadn’t married. However, in their case, the woman must recognize the telltale signs to determine whether the relationship is still worth fighting for. 

According to Kantzavelos, one indicator is if the unfaithful spouse refuses to take accountability for their actions and continues to engage in harmful behaviors that don’t repair the broken trust. 

As for the betrayed partner, a clear sign to know that it is time to leave is if they feel chronically unsafe, resentful, and emotionally shut down despite genuine efforts. 

Dr. Bohn says another sign would be the inability to engage in discussions. 

“The choice to walk away from a marriage is personal, but one’s emotional and mental health must be of the utmost importance,” she said. 

Both Kantzavelos and Dr. Bohn have mentioned the option of professional help to deal with a partner’s infidelity. However, as the woman briefly mentioned in her story, she and her husband had already undergone therapy, seemingly to no avail. 

Her next best move is to involve lawyers and initiate the divorce proceedings, given that her husband has shown no signs or intentions of wanting to regain her trust and make her feel secure again.

Commenters sided with her and advised her to rethink the marriage

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing suspicion of cheating and concerns about nannying coworker’s girlfriend’s children for free.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment warning about a husband’s coworker and suspicions involving nannying girlfriend’s children for free.

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Woman suspects husband’s coworker while nannying his girlfriend’s children for free, raising trust and respect issues.

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Screenshot of a Reddit comment questioning if the children are the husband’s other kids, related to nannying suspicion.

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Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing suspicions about husband’s coworker and free nannying of girlfriend’s children.

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Screenshot of a Reddit comment warning about nannying his girlfriend’s children for free and growing suspicion of husband’s coworker.

Woman looking suspicious while using phone, reflecting concerns about nannying and husband’s coworker situation.

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The woman provided a lengthy update

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Woman suspicious of husband's coworker nannying his girlfriend’s children for free in a tense conversation about court orders.

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Woman feeling suspicious while nannying coworker’s children, questioning trust in husband’s coworker relationship.

Alt text: Text message revealing suspicion about nannying his girlfriend’s children for free and involving a coworker dropping them off solo.

Text excerpt about feeling silly and deciding to see a therapist to address insecurities and misunderstandings in a relationship.

Man and woman in bed having a serious conversation, woman looks suspicious of husband's coworker situation.

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She also revealed some of her realizations

Text excerpt about a woman’s suspicion while nannying her husband’s coworker’s children for free.

Text message expressing gratitude for advice and hoping to stop feeling sorry while dealing with a suspicious coworker situation.

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People in the comments had varying reactions about the new developments

Comment discussing boundaries and suspicions about nannying coworker’s children and husband’s behavior concerns.

Comment discussing suspicion and frustration about nannying husband's coworker's children for free and possible infidelity.

Comment text reading DARVO 101 in response to a woman suspicious of husband’s coworker nannying his girlfriend’s children for free.

Screenshot of an online comment discussing suspicion about nannying his girlfriend’s children for free.

Screenshot of a comment explaining gaslighting in the context of suspicion about nannying a coworker’s girlfriend’s children.

Screenshot of an online comment discussing concerns about nannying his girlfriend’s children for free and relationship trust issues.

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