“Am I The Jerk For Changing Our Server’s Tip From $154 To $4?”
Interview With Author
There are many different ways to be charitable. You can volunteer your time and energy. You can promote a cause near and dear to your heart. Or you can use your hard-earned money to pleasantly surprise a stranger. For instance, if they were a particularly good server.
Redditor u/OttoBonz recently turned to the r/AITAH for their verdict after a spot of drama at a local restaurant. The OP revealed how she’d initially left a massive tip for the woman who’d been waiting on her table. However, after a slight hiccup, she slashed the tip to just a few dollars. Read on for the full story, as well as what the internet had to say.
Bored Panda reached out to the author of the story, redditor u/OttoBonz, and she was kind enough to answer our questions about leaving big tips and being charitable. She was open about the fact that both she and the server could have probably handled the situation better. You’ll find our interview with the OP as you read on.
Customers are generally happy to reward servers who give them a pleasant dining experience
Image credits: imagesourcecurated / Envato (not the actual photo)
One woman revealed that she changed her server’s tip after her last-minute behavior
Image credits: LightFieldStudios / Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: OttoBonz
“I feel the server and I both probably could have handled the situation better”
Bored Panda was curious about when the OP and her husband first started giving big tips to servers who deserved to be recognized for their hard work.
“We started doing this within the last year, maybe six-ish months ago,” the author, u/OttoBonz, shared.
“We usually don’t stick around to see their reaction. It’s not about us, despite what others say,” the redditor explained to us.
“We’ve been blessed and want to share that blessing.”
We wanted to get the author’s personal opinion on the signs of a good server. “I think a good server is attentive and anticipates needs,” she said and added that someone would know to refill a drink before it’s empty.
“But more than that, is kind and easy to talk to/connect with. That’s what I really like when we go out to eat,” redditor u/OttoBonz told us.
The author also opened up about how everyone can be charitable in their daily lives if they don’t know where to start. “I’m sure I’ll catch a lot of flack for this one, but we’re Christian. We’ve been blessed in our lives and feel it’s important to share that blessing with those around us,” she shared.
“I’d say to figure out what’s important to you and either pray or manifest, or whatever you do in your personal practice, to see how you can help those around you,” the OP said.
“I feel the server and I both probably could have handled the situation better. A lot of good points were pointed out to me from this post. Some kindly, others not so kindly. But I did learn some things, and I will not react the same way if this were to happen again.”
Tipping customs vary widely from country to country and area to area
The attitudes toward tipping are going to vary quite a bit depending on what part of the world you live in. It’s not just the quality of the service and the food that you have to take into account.
For example, tips are very uncommon in Japan but practically mandatory in many parts of the United States. Forgetting to tip or not tipping generously is likely to get you a ton of odd looks. That’s why it’s so important to research local customs before taking a trip somewhere.
As BBC Travel points out, tipping is “ingrained in the national psyche” and Americans take it very seriously. Broadly speaking, it’s now customary to add 20% to 25% on top of a bill because so-called ‘tipflation’ has kicked in.
Some people are starting to feel that it’s becoming unsustainably expensive to eat out because you’re shelling out far more cash than you’d ever see on the menu.
Meanwhile, many servers feel entitled to larger and larger tips, even for average or substandard service. However, many of them depend on this to make ends meet because their base hourly wage is so low. This varies from state to state.
It’s a complex problem. The country’s cultural attitudes and laws won’t change overnight. However, if all servers were to suddenly earn a fair minimum wage, it might shift the US perspective on tips.
Good service should be encouraged no matter what the actual tips look like
They could become mainly a way to show one’s appreciation for above-average service. Large tips would then have an even bigger impact because they’d very clearly state that the entire experience at the restaurant was stellar.
This way, there’s a clear incentive to go beyond the call of duty. On the flip side, someone who knows they’ll get tipped some amount no matter what happens might not feel driven to improve as quickly. Arguably, forced tipping is going to negatively impact the customer experience.
At the end of the day, if a server is particularly rude, it’s up to the customer what their tip will look like. If it’s been a genuinely awful experience, a generous tip would only send the wrong message. Why would you reward someone who ruined your night?
However, in those extreme cases, it might be best to talk to the restaurant manager about what happened. It’s best to stay calm and not sound too accusatory. Simply explain the situation and that you expect to be treated with basic respect. Clear up the misunderstanding: there’s always the possibility that you interpreted the situation wrong.
You also shouldn’t expect ‘perfect’ service every single time you go out to eat. Servers are people, too: they get tired and they make silly mistakes from time to time. Not to mention that some servers are still learning the ropes. Nobody should be using the threat of low tips to punish occasional slip-ups if there’s no ill intent behind the behavior. Generosity and charity should not come with preattached conditions.
But what do you think, dear Pandas? What would you have done in this situation? How do you approach tipping? Do you only ever tip when the service is above average or do you always leave something for the staff? What’s the biggest tip you’ve ever left? Share your thoughts in the comment section.
Some readers thought that the author did nothing wrong. Here are their thoughts
However, other internet users had a different take on things and were more critical of the woman
Meanwhile, others thought that pretty much everyone messed up that night
Poll Question
Thanks! Check out the results:
Subscribe to Access
Exclusive Polls
By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Privacy Policy.
Thank you! You've successfully subscribed to newsletters!
You May Also Like
Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk
Do you think childless individuals should be expected to chip in for group babysitting costs during friend gatherings?
17 Y.O. Is Done Sharing Her Birthday With Her Late Twin, Parents Are Not Having It
Do you think the girl should be allowed to celebrate her birthday without the remembrance of her deceased twin?
If I'm paying cash like that I would always make sure that a server is aware of the fact, has seen me put the money down, or I would physically take it to a payment desk or equivalent. Getting annoyed by the server who hadn't seen them is unwarranted - they're just doing their job, and whether they could see the table or not you've put them in an awkward position by just not engaging brain before action. YTA
I'm blaming the restaurant as much as everyone involved. The waitress more than likely made a bit of a scene, at least for anyone in earshot, embarrassing the guests. The OP made a bigger scene trying to "teach a lesson". And the restaurant is allowing an old fashioned policy that unfortunately doesn't work these days, especially if they are having issues with dine-and-dashers. Set up a booth at the entrance for payments if there is an issue with this.
Load More Replies...
The restaurants punish the servers??! Good ol' USA. Let's kick the hard workers when they're already down. Smh.
They legally can’t do that, but since most people aren’t educated with employment law they get taken advantage of
Load More Replies...
The first thing that came to my mind after reading this: Tipping culture sucks in the US
In this case, the OP was giving a donation on top of the tip, which is related to US tipping culture (in that the OP is making that donation because of sympathy about how tipping culture affects servers) but so totally optional that I don’t feel sorry for the OP. Especially since as someone who has visited the US, I know for a fact that the OP could have just handed the money to their server and averted this whole drama.
Load More Replies...
Making servers pay for those that dine and dash out of their measly $3 per hour wages is beyond disgusting and is surely illegal?
That's the part of the story that pisses me off the most.
Load More Replies...
So she went from playing angel to punishing a young and probably inexperienced server for a little oversight. Yea, TA. And eff tipping culture for giving people this sort of power.
If the waitress was scared they were dine-and-dashing, she probrably didn't have time to check the table - she had like three seconds before they were out the door, and she got stuck covering their bill. (In the US, this is unfortunately common). It's customary to signal the wait staff and make sure they see you leaving cash for just this reason. She wasn't being an a*****e, she was protecting herself. YTA for taking back the whole tip - you should have left 20% minimum. She did her job - you messed up, by not showing you had paid, and then you were petty.
I'm calling BS. I don't believe a single word of this story is true. A 400% tip? Someone is making this up and I know because any server would check the table FIRST!
It's a humble brag tale gone wrong. I don't believe it either.
Load More Replies...
Gratuity or tipping is wrong, because it's removing the income issue from employers' responsibility to the customers.
I mean, it should be a bonus for exceptionally good service at best. That's how it works in my country - you can tip if you were happy with the service but you don't have to do it and nobody's gonna give you sh*t for not tipping.
Load More Replies...
Never leave cash on the table. We also do large tips for good service. You know what feels great, you put the money IN THEIR HAND and say this is a thank you for great service. People will take cash off the table.
That’s how my husband does it. In hand with a thank you, no change.
Load More Replies...
I have a good friend who leaves very large cash tips whenever he drinks, which is all the time. He even does it in instances where it's not deserved and the server or bartender wasn't even attentive and on very small checks. It's all good but I started seeing he does it more for his ego than anything else. Instead of adopting a "how dare you?" Attitude, realize the current climate these servers are working in. Understaffed, spread thin and over worked. Should've let her apologize and left her with the original intention.
For those that don't realize this (a scarey majority) it's actually illegal for restaurants to hold a server liable unless they can prove that they knowingly allowed for the dine-n-dash in some states. At which point its an actual chargeable offense. You can contest this and go to a labor board. Furthermore, it's always a good idea, safe, low crime area or not, to make sure cash reaches the intended hands yourself. Make sure that money lands in the correct hands with your own two eyes before you walk out the door, either by waiting at the table or walking up to your server and giving it to them as you're leaving. That's covering your own bases.
In some states it is legal. In others it's legal only for tip pool restaurants.
Load More Replies...
In Britain, we ask for the bill, pay it and then leave a tip for the server. I can understand your server panicing when she saw you leaving
I'm assuming since they knew how much the bill was, that they'd asked for the bill? In which case the server would've been aware that they were waiting to pay. If OP didn't request the bill, I can see why the server panicked but yes she could've handled that much better - asking them if they wanted the bill instead of straight up accusing them of stealing. IDK, I can understand both points of view so I'd go with ESH
Could you believe how high your horse is??!! Server's have it rough and there is a lot of stress factors involved. Do you think she may not have looked at tge table as she is busy on serving other patrons as well. Do you think she may only have seen you leave and not pay. Do you think??!! Obviously the AH Go back and give her the initial tip so that this experience humbles you a little
People here are way too comfortable to be called a thief when your intention was to do a good deed. Imagine the embarrassment they felt? The aggressiveness of the server? Completely not acceptable. In my country accusing people of a crime is a crime in itself. Better be damn sure.
Except in the US, if a diner commits a crime, the server is punished. It's on the diner to be damn sure they give the $ to the server or at least alert them to your leaving the payment, not leave it out to be picked up by anyone.
Load More Replies...
First of all, OP, you dropped $200 cash on a $50 restaurant tab. At 30, you're not doing "fairly well". At minimum rage, that's about three days net income, maybe. Already dipping into YTA territory and we haven't even started the story. Secondly, a $50 tab for two is grilled salmon and a glass of wine or steak and a beer; a nice night out but very little cursive on the menu, and a prime target for dine and dash. Now, flip the POV. Depending on the region, 75% of the waitstaff's income comes from tipping. If they pay for dine-and-dashes, $47 is about a day's wage for which they are also not getting paid (and IMO the owner running that SOP should be dragged behind their auto-driving Tesla.) Yes, the waitress should have checked the table for a cash drop before accusing you of theft meaning ETA here. But for yanking back $150 pocket lint, you're the king.
Regardless of this event, I note that the US law on the employment of waiters makes them similar to beggars, who must do everything to earn a tip that will help them survive, since the salary is not enough. Even in Italy it is common to leave a tip and waiters' salaries are often quite low, but the situation is absolutely not comparable to that of the USA.
What I love about this is that she did admit she was in the wrong... But still kinda blamed the server. She mentioned that she was a Christian and about her beliefs affecting her actions. I guess she must have slept through the forgiveness sermons. Coming from a former preacher's kid, but nothing gets on my nerves more when people either weaponize their religion and use it as an excuse for their bad behavior, or use it as a shield or crutch. Yeah, yeah. We are all sinners. But maybe we should try to actually emulate Christ instead of falling back on that, 'I am only human/a born sinner' c**p. Did the server make a mistake? Ehhh, kinda? Considering all the former waiters giving their input on how dine and dashers are treated by management (passing the buck to the waiter and taking it from their check), I don't think she really screwed up. I think the OP is full of themselves and needs to eat some humble pie and not weaponize her kindness. And not be so sensitive.
YTA. Punishing someone over a perceived slight is the very definition of vindictive. She was doing her job. Get over yourself.
This woman is definitely the AH. Why would the server expect a customer to leave the payment on the table. People are paying with cash less and less. The OP says she’s a Christian, yet has no sympathy for the server, who may have to pay back the restaurant if customers leave without paying. It’s probably happened to the server before. By the OPs admission the server did a good job, yet the OP made her feel like two cents when she took away the tip. Some people like to say they are Christian’s, but are really just jerks hiding behind Christianity.
I'm not sure why TAH thinks that leaving that much money on the table is not a problem. 200 hundred is a lot of money to a lot of people and can easily be picked up. This AH is living in a fantasy world. It's not like they ordered a cup of coffee and left a 5. I mean christ sakes how careless are people with money nowadays!
Ok so I worked in many restaurants in my life time. Here is the deal with many of their walkout policies. Server is stuck paying either half or full and if it happens more than once, possibly fired. The ancient of thinking you possible worked for free if a let's say 90 tab walks out and you made 150 total. On top that, you must cover your tip outs to a host and bat usually and the tax on tab then of course the tip that never was. It's possible that was the case and perhaps her anxiety of trumped her trust in the GP. Now you took a tip you whole heartedly wanted to bless her with assuming she was excusing you of theft and you left her a insult of a tip because you were offended.
No matter the amount, I always find my server and hand the tip to them directly. I know it won't get stolen, and if they happen to work at one of those places that wants their servers to pool the tips so everyone gets an equal payout no matter the caliber of work they put in (which is utter and complete bs) they can pocket it since THEY earned it. I also live in a small southern town (USA) and you can bet your biscuits the number of dishonest people and meth/crackheads is high enough that you probably don't want to leave money of any amount unsupervised on the table. 🤷
Yta I'm assuming the money was inside the booklet that holds the bill, she would not have seen that and who in there right mind leaves 200 cash sitting on table for anyone to grab. Where I live most people pay at register or hand payment to waiter/waitress I would have assumed a dine in dash as well and then shenwould have had to pay
Used to be a server so lets nip this in the bud now. Restaurants do not punish the servers anymore. It's 2024. Maybe small mom and pop restaurants but chains do not anymore. NTA. It's like when the server asks if I want my change tip instantly goes down. Cause that's them asking for a tip, its rude. And when paying cash I always make sure the server sees it due to bussers stealing from the servers. So I do feel like you should have waited till they noticed money out but she definitely shouldn't have came at you like that. And all these judgmental people giving you c**p for trying to leave a big tip...screw them. It's very nice of you to do that once in awhile. I feels good to get a large tip on a small ticket.
The righteous cow should have handed the cash to the server initially and always should. She gets off on telling people they do well and what not. Leaving a $150 tip is nice but not to brag on the Reddit board about doing it when going out. The server didn’t want to be in the hook but the patrons should know better than to leave cash on the table especially $200. She the ah for taking back the money.
Let me preface this with a "I hate tipping and tipping culture. It's terrible. And we need to do better with our service industry." Both are AH. But neither major ones. First and foremost, if you otherwise felt the service was that good to deserve a 300% tip, then it's ridiculous to cut it down to 8% over a misunderstanding. Second, there's a lot of reasons for a server to disregard the table to stop you. By the time they stop and check, if you hadn't paid, you could be out the door and harder to get. You think there's low crime, but don't know. She worded things poorly, but given the situation she thought she was in, it's not as if she had a prepared script to go off of. It was panic at being $50 out on her day. Finally, for you, totally understandable for you to be hurt by the accusation. I doubt it was nearly as bad as you think, but that doesn't matter. Reduce the tip? Sure, totally justified. But by that amount? Not sure you're justified there.
This brought to mind a story from years back where we went to watch a very early morning hockey game at a bar. They had a special license to start serving at 830 am to match the international game - being played in Sweden. So we got there before 8 to get a table. The waitress explained no alcohol would be served till the time which was fine but it meant she wasn't taking any of our order. So like no juice or coffee until 830. The entire restaurant was packed & not being waited on until.the bell so it became insanely backed up. The rest of the service became awful in result. Lots of chaos just everywhere. My boss has paid the bill & I didn't realize she left not a great tip - just $5 as the waitress pretty much ignored us the entire time. But then she confronted my boss in the parking lot with the tiny tip, to which my boss said oh thanks I must have forgotten that & took back the 5 the waitress was waving in her face. I was already in the car at that point & just laughed at the moment.
We stop leaving cash and walking out when someone stole it all. And as a server, I have seen customers steal tips. I even saw a table of six leave great tips, but one guy came back and stole the money his friends left. Per policy, we weren't allowed to say anything. But I never paid for a walkout. You don't pay to work.
Another thing to think about is that some restaurants make the servers pool the tips then divide them evenly.
what idiot walks out and leaves money on the table to begin with instead of handing it to the server?
im confused, they had a bill for $46 but they left $200 on the table and didnt need change? was the bill $150 and the $40 was a tip or was the bill $40 and the $150 was the tip? and who leaves money on a table without making sure it gets collected by staff instead of getting stolen?
I see both sides so easily. Yes punish/teach people that behaviors have consequences but also I can easily see this being someone who only reacted this way due to toxic work environment (lose of wages for dine and dashes). If the restaurant is shady and taking your pay for something out of your control I get confronting the guests before checking (still can politely). The restaurant industry needs to do and be better. A server shouldn't be punished for a dine and dash if they weren't part of it. They shouldn't stress losing their income because of a******s. For the customer I get not wanting to leave that big of a tip for someone who called me a thief, I wouldn't want to, but a random extra $150 can also, sadly, be a big help for some people. I think I would've taken the 150 back but left a 10
Yta..she's young and not a typical gen z ..yeah, she could have controlled her emotions a little bit better, but everyone has a bad day, everyone gets their a** chewed by their boss or as another person commented, maybe she had to be responsible for a chew and screw...if everything was perfect until you're ready to walk out the door, why do this??? Did it affect your meal?? Give the kid a break, retail, food service, etc.all suck to work in..
NTA the server was WAY out of bounds! To even infer a customer was a thief is outrageous without absolute proof! Not only would I have taken back the generous tip, but I would have spoken to the manager. Wth is the server's problem? Maybe projection? Makes me wonder how many times she herself has 'dined and dashed.' Your husband needs to get a grip and learn how to stand up for both of you. The server was accusing him of being a thief also!
I think in a perfect world ok but walk a mile in her shoes,she admitted she hadnt checked table (she basically panicked). Also I think your change in tip was harsh and seemingly erased everything up to that point???. Lastly who are you to teach teach her a lesson? Heard the saying about glass houses?
Seriously, I can totally understand the waitress's reaction. Yes, she should have stayed calm and asked politely about paying, to spare the customers from embarrassment. I would have left the original tip, told her it's on the table and said to her how great her service was, but that the way she made a scene like that wasn't appreciated and give her a friendly tip of advice for future scenarios to stay calm and politely address the situation.
This made me remember how when I moved to a small town in Idaho, had been there only a short time and my ex and I went to a really great steakhouse for dinner one evening. Great food, friendly service, casual atmosphere. Our waitress was a beautiful young woman and very nice. We paid and left, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. About a week or two later, I bumped into her somewhere in town. She had been carrying around $20 ever since because she realised after we left that she'd made a mistake on our bill and overcharged us and had been hoping to run into me to pay us back. I was only 26 at the time and so surprised by the situation that I just took the money. I wished I would have just told her to keep it just for her honesty. We didn't have much, but we hadn't even realised we'd been overcharged, so we could have spared it. But my brain was just not quick enough! But we went to that restaurant anytime we wanted to dine out, and usually tipped well, especially around holidays.
Load More Replies...
Well (a deep subject for shallow minds), making assumptions is a very slippery slope, after all it does spell out that it does make "an a*s out of you and me". This young woman should have, indeed, checked the table before making the worst "assumption " and reacting the way she did. However, OP was rather vindictive in her reaction by shorting her tip by such a huge amount, just plain mean and uncalled for. Would have been better if she changed the tip to 15 or 20% given the fact she admitted the service was just fine, in fact, fine enough to warrant her leaving the initial $200. Her reaction was on the level of a 10 yr old on the playground taking their ball and leaving because of some perceived slight. Thus, they were both wrong.
I would go back and give her the tip. In your job u probably don't know the trama of someone unintentionally or intentionally walking out on a server. U give with your heart u forgive with your heart. God bless u and I pray u do the right thing with your blessings. Ty Paul B
I would never have left that much cash just lying on the table like that. It's too easy for someone else, even another server, to nonchalantly walk by and snatch up that money. Always make contact with your server before you just up and leave. It was nice that OP wanted to leave such a hefty tip, but that wasn't the wisest way to do it. And as anyone can see, doing that paves the way for a lot of mistakes to be made. Server didn't check the table, because OP hadn't acknowledged they were leaving. OP didn't skip out on the bill, but the server didn't know that. Some establishments used to make the server responsible, and would take the amount out of the employee's paycheck, if the party skips out on the check. Maybe that's why the server was quick to jump to conclusions. Both parties were at fault. The whole thing could have been avoided.
They both could have handled the situation better. The server could have chosen to question them politely, rather than framing it as a confrontation. The diner should have left *nothing less* than a 20% tip. Leaving more is indeed a kindness. That's also the exact quality our world would benefit from, were it a more common practice. Guessing that the server had indeed been previously victimized by "dine-n-dash" AHs. That's probably why she caught up w/ them *before* they'd reached the door. If she'd gone to the table 1st & been right, chances are they'd have escaped & she'd be left paying their bill herself. US restaurants pay their staff below even min. wage, which is horrendous. Many also often make their staff pay unpaid bills left by creeps. So, dine-n-dash can result in a server basically working for free (from a few hours to a few days, depending on the amount left unpaid). That's a hideous outcome, and we should feel ashamed as a nation for allowing it.
I am a server and I love my job although I only have a 8 grade education I am not a drug user drunk where and I have never received any extra money or food stamps my the state. I am not now bit I have been a single mother who had a daughter I had to provide for I remember when my grandpa died I had to go to work to feed my daughter that evening. YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT SOMEONE IS GOING THRU. it don't hurt to be kind ALL the time if you can lighten someone day well Bless You. Because God did you this morning when you woke up
Yta, but because of a different reason. Why on earth would you give a tip 3 times the bill? As a non-usa citizen I know tipping is different in the US than in other countries. But do you realise that by doing this, you are destroying your own tipping culture even more. (worse when doing it abroad, setting the 'norm' for the rest of the word, even when not necessary)
This is a fake post. The op is getting a lot of flak on reddit because they've been caught falsifying posts in the past.
OP was embarrassed when she was accused in public of stealing, so she decided to punish the waitress. She could have showed the girl compassion. Most people paying in cash, wait for the server to bring back change and that change is left in the bill folder. They could still leave an excessive tip and walk away knowing the server will be pleasantly surprised and the server would feel at ease that their table paid for their meals.
This is unbelievable from the get go. If it's on of their regular spots, the server would have known them. Even if she was new, the others would have given her a head's up to how they tend to tip. This is fake all around.
Tips are a bonus, bot a guarantee. Its not my job to subsidize the restaurants wages. You can earn your tip. Its my money, ill do with it what i choose.
Restaurants do this all the time. If you dont like it they will just hire someone who wont complain. I have had people walk off with what equals my weeks wages in dinning bills. I still had to tip out the bar that night based off that sale as well so lost all i made and had to pay out of pocket to the bar as you can't just not tip out before leaving for the night.
Whoa, absolutely not! 100% YTA. You've obviously never experienced the panic of seeing someone walk out without knowing if they've paid or not. It's terrifying. When a guest doesn't pay, the server pays for it, not the restaurant. We have mobile pay at the restaurant I work at and it's thrown me off many times where someone pays on their phone and dips quickly, and I hurriedly have to go back to my screen and check that they finished paying. Losing $46 in tips if OP hadn't paid would have been a big loss. Major a*****e to take all the effort that they obviously put in since you tipped so well in the first place, and throw it out the window because you can't be empathetic. Disgusting.
NTA. It's her boss's job to pay her, not yours. Tipping has gotten ridiculous.
I would've done the same thing why because the same amount of time it took her to run after you because she thought you didn't pay is the same amount of time she could've went right to your table and claimed her tip and saw that you paid your bill and left her a huge tip. but since she did that she blocked her own blessing oh well her loss
YTA. Total power move, just like the "generosity" in the first place. Ugh.
The server made a small mistake. OP didn't actually dine and dash so getting so indignant about it and taking it personal is weird. Literally does not affect you that she thought you left without paying. Could've made it a teaching moment while still feeling good about yourself for leaving a large tip but we know that it's not really about that. It's about making yourself feel good and not about just helping people. Otherwise OP wouldn't have made a post about something so innocuous and made a big show about taking the tip back. Tip or don't, that's your choice. But don't use it to make yourself seem like a good person because if you were you'd just do it and not turn to the interenet for validation.
I don't know if tipping culture still stands in restaurants. It used to be that tips were split between waitstaff, cook and back kitchen staff. So those measly tips you leave end up being truly measly if this still stands
Both on this one. Waitress should have quick checked the table first, but some places also hold the server responsible for unpaid bills. It is possoble she's had this happen and just panicked it happened again. No need to cut what might be a needed tip over her trying to save her already small paycheck
Why would you just leave that much money on the table without letting someone know? OP sounds a bit arrogant IMO. It's not about tipping. It's the entitlement that they can just walk out without letting the server know the bill was covered. It looked like they were walking out on the bill so they got treated as such.
Ummm, stuck up much OP? The server likely gets garnished for walkouts by the business. Most times generosity involves empathy, forgiveness, understanding & selfLESSness. IMO you're a thin-skinned phony & living in a small town " Southern " area doesn't exempt you from being a kind person. YTA
accidental double entry, that is just how angry this post has me right now.
If you're paying cash, why would you leave the full amount on the table without telling the server ?? Is that a common thing to do? I'd think they were dine and dashing too
Absolutely the a*****e! I feel like she just came here to brag about leaving such a big tip then snatching it away from her because she wanted to make sure that she didn't get stuck paying your bill. Could the waitress had handled that better? Yes she could have but she probably has lost money in people taking off in her, even though I despise restaurants that do that to already underpaid staff.
Man, people are harsh. I leave cash tips all the time. Unfortunately some servers feel that it's not their job to continually check on their tables because they're busy talking or sometimes rightfully very busy. Usually when I walk away leaving cash on the table, it's because they're watching the TV in the sports bar or on their phone and not around. You can't flag another server as they try not to make eye contact or ignore you rushing away saying "I'll grab your server". If they were doing their job like they're getting paid to do they would have picked it up from me personally in the 5 to 10 minutes that we typically stay after our meal is done. The server could have avoided this by simply asking a question and explaining why she did so before checking the table.
This is pretty common for people who have money or power; they sometimes pretend like they’re being benevolent but if you make one wrong move, they’ll pull the string so fast your head will spin. And it doesn’t matter what the context is; they don’t care why you might have done what you did, it’s the fact you did it and they didn’t like it. In this case, the OP was ever so slightly embarrassed over a misunderstanding and wanted the server to feel some pain or embarrassment of her own. Because it isn’t enough to be rich and powerful, other people have to be appropriately deferential to their betters.
Why are people downvoting people who think that they are the AH in this situation? They aren’t saying anything mean, they just have a different opinion.
I'm with the customer! The server have to learn to be calm and have patience. It's sad but Servers have to understand they will not always get tipped no matter what service they provide it's part of the business.
Waiting tables is NOT a career path people go out of their way to choose. They do it because options are limited. Most restaurants pay their wait staff well below minimum wage, with tips making up the rest of it. Many also mandate the server be held accountable for dine and dash. I had a customer like you once. They tipped generously the first time. The next time, they brought a huge group of 20 people and took up half my section, ran me ragged for two hours and left less than 10 percent. The next time they came in, I refused to wait on them. The gal who did take them gave them bare minimum service. Wait staff aren't nice to you because they like you. They're nice because it's they're job and they depend on the tips. You punished that server for doing her job. You took money out of her pocket. Literally. Because she did her job by asking you to pay. Ask yourself what it was about you that made her think you're the kind of person to dine and dash.
Miss Ma'am... You are, in all possible ways, the @ssh0l3. Sweet jesus lady. Cash payment vs. credit/debit are two whole separate options. Most people pay with card these days. Even if she wouldn't have had to pay your bill if you did a dine and dash, that means she's still paying out for bussing, hosting, and dishwash tipout. You are ABSOLUTELY the @ssh0l3. And just because she didn't realize you'd already paid (which she would have, if you could have indicated that to her in any way), for that, and THAT ALONE, you decide to restrict her personal earnings on her work towards you as a table from a giant tip to a "here, maybe that can help with the taxes you're paying and your minimum wage of $2.13 / hr..." Good lord you are an absolute piece of hot smelly wet garbage. Go to h3ll and stay there, and never ever again frequent an establishment where tips are all that servers have to bring home. Sincerely, every single server that's ever been threatened with the good old dine and dash.
Also, and only for context, I worked as a server/waitress/bartender for 13+ years in the Southern parts of the USA. Whatever your server earns from the price of your tab, they are legally required to pay out tipshare, towards the hostess/host, the busser, the dishwasher, and sometimes even the cooks. So, what you left her means she just made nothing, at all, period. I understand punishing people for making mistakes. But if you've lived in the South at all, or for long, then you realize that what you did is the equivalent of spitting in her face. You are absolutely TA. If you are so worried about the money you left why didn't you put it into her hands and thank her? Why just walk away from $200 on a table unless you wanted the right of virtue signaling and offense as she realized she was going to have to have paid for the privilege of waiting upon your table... You, my dear, are a real piece of work.
Load More Replies...
OP was DEFINITELY an AH. ANY one who agrees with them has never worked as a server. And like so many said, who doesn't at least indicate to the server the $ is there SO THEY KNOW ITS THERE and risk it getting stolen? And they definitely were play power games, and trying to humblebrag by bringing up how much extra they were tipping
If I'm paying cash like that I would always make sure that a server is aware of the fact, has seen me put the money down, or I would physically take it to a payment desk or equivalent. Getting annoyed by the server who hadn't seen them is unwarranted - they're just doing their job, and whether they could see the table or not you've put them in an awkward position by just not engaging brain before action. YTA
I'm blaming the restaurant as much as everyone involved. The waitress more than likely made a bit of a scene, at least for anyone in earshot, embarrassing the guests. The OP made a bigger scene trying to "teach a lesson". And the restaurant is allowing an old fashioned policy that unfortunately doesn't work these days, especially if they are having issues with dine-and-dashers. Set up a booth at the entrance for payments if there is an issue with this.
Load More Replies... The restaurants punish the servers??! Good ol' USA. Let's kick the hard workers when they're already down. Smh.
They legally can’t do that, but since most people aren’t educated with employment law they get taken advantage of
Load More Replies... The first thing that came to my mind after reading this: Tipping culture sucks in the US
In this case, the OP was giving a donation on top of the tip, which is related to US tipping culture (in that the OP is making that donation because of sympathy about how tipping culture affects servers) but so totally optional that I don’t feel sorry for the OP. Especially since as someone who has visited the US, I know for a fact that the OP could have just handed the money to their server and averted this whole drama.
Load More Replies... Making servers pay for those that dine and dash out of their measly $3 per hour wages is beyond disgusting and is surely illegal?
That's the part of the story that pisses me off the most.
Load More Replies... So she went from playing angel to punishing a young and probably inexperienced server for a little oversight. Yea, TA. And eff tipping culture for giving people this sort of power.
If the waitress was scared they were dine-and-dashing, she probrably didn't have time to check the table - she had like three seconds before they were out the door, and she got stuck covering their bill. (In the US, this is unfortunately common). It's customary to signal the wait staff and make sure they see you leaving cash for just this reason. She wasn't being an a*****e, she was protecting herself. YTA for taking back the whole tip - you should have left 20% minimum. She did her job - you messed up, by not showing you had paid, and then you were petty.
I'm calling BS. I don't believe a single word of this story is true. A 400% tip? Someone is making this up and I know because any server would check the table FIRST!
It's a humble brag tale gone wrong. I don't believe it either.
Load More Replies... Gratuity or tipping is wrong, because it's removing the income issue from employers' responsibility to the customers.
I mean, it should be a bonus for exceptionally good service at best. That's how it works in my country - you can tip if you were happy with the service but you don't have to do it and nobody's gonna give you sh*t for not tipping.
Load More Replies... Never leave cash on the table. We also do large tips for good service. You know what feels great, you put the money IN THEIR HAND and say this is a thank you for great service. People will take cash off the table.
That’s how my husband does it. In hand with a thank you, no change.
Load More Replies... I have a good friend who leaves very large cash tips whenever he drinks, which is all the time. He even does it in instances where it's not deserved and the server or bartender wasn't even attentive and on very small checks. It's all good but I started seeing he does it more for his ego than anything else. Instead of adopting a "how dare you?" Attitude, realize the current climate these servers are working in. Understaffed, spread thin and over worked. Should've let her apologize and left her with the original intention.
For those that don't realize this (a scarey majority) it's actually illegal for restaurants to hold a server liable unless they can prove that they knowingly allowed for the dine-n-dash in some states. At which point its an actual chargeable offense. You can contest this and go to a labor board. Furthermore, it's always a good idea, safe, low crime area or not, to make sure cash reaches the intended hands yourself. Make sure that money lands in the correct hands with your own two eyes before you walk out the door, either by waiting at the table or walking up to your server and giving it to them as you're leaving. That's covering your own bases.
In some states it is legal. In others it's legal only for tip pool restaurants.
Load More Replies... In Britain, we ask for the bill, pay it and then leave a tip for the server. I can understand your server panicing when she saw you leaving
I'm assuming since they knew how much the bill was, that they'd asked for the bill? In which case the server would've been aware that they were waiting to pay. If OP didn't request the bill, I can see why the server panicked but yes she could've handled that much better - asking them if they wanted the bill instead of straight up accusing them of stealing. IDK, I can understand both points of view so I'd go with ESH
Could you believe how high your horse is??!! Server's have it rough and there is a lot of stress factors involved. Do you think she may not have looked at tge table as she is busy on serving other patrons as well. Do you think she may only have seen you leave and not pay. Do you think??!! Obviously the AH Go back and give her the initial tip so that this experience humbles you a little
People here are way too comfortable to be called a thief when your intention was to do a good deed. Imagine the embarrassment they felt? The aggressiveness of the server? Completely not acceptable. In my country accusing people of a crime is a crime in itself. Better be damn sure.
Except in the US, if a diner commits a crime, the server is punished. It's on the diner to be damn sure they give the $ to the server or at least alert them to your leaving the payment, not leave it out to be picked up by anyone.
Load More Replies... First of all, OP, you dropped $200 cash on a $50 restaurant tab. At 30, you're not doing "fairly well". At minimum rage, that's about three days net income, maybe. Already dipping into YTA territory and we haven't even started the story. Secondly, a $50 tab for two is grilled salmon and a glass of wine or steak and a beer; a nice night out but very little cursive on the menu, and a prime target for dine and dash. Now, flip the POV. Depending on the region, 75% of the waitstaff's income comes from tipping. If they pay for dine-and-dashes, $47 is about a day's wage for which they are also not getting paid (and IMO the owner running that SOP should be dragged behind their auto-driving Tesla.) Yes, the waitress should have checked the table for a cash drop before accusing you of theft meaning ETA here. But for yanking back $150 pocket lint, you're the king.
Regardless of this event, I note that the US law on the employment of waiters makes them similar to beggars, who must do everything to earn a tip that will help them survive, since the salary is not enough. Even in Italy it is common to leave a tip and waiters' salaries are often quite low, but the situation is absolutely not comparable to that of the USA.
What I love about this is that she did admit she was in the wrong... But still kinda blamed the server. She mentioned that she was a Christian and about her beliefs affecting her actions. I guess she must have slept through the forgiveness sermons. Coming from a former preacher's kid, but nothing gets on my nerves more when people either weaponize their religion and use it as an excuse for their bad behavior, or use it as a shield or crutch. Yeah, yeah. We are all sinners. But maybe we should try to actually emulate Christ instead of falling back on that, 'I am only human/a born sinner' c**p. Did the server make a mistake? Ehhh, kinda? Considering all the former waiters giving their input on how dine and dashers are treated by management (passing the buck to the waiter and taking it from their check), I don't think she really screwed up. I think the OP is full of themselves and needs to eat some humble pie and not weaponize her kindness. And not be so sensitive.
YTA. Punishing someone over a perceived slight is the very definition of vindictive. She was doing her job. Get over yourself.
This woman is definitely the AH. Why would the server expect a customer to leave the payment on the table. People are paying with cash less and less. The OP says she’s a Christian, yet has no sympathy for the server, who may have to pay back the restaurant if customers leave without paying. It’s probably happened to the server before. By the OPs admission the server did a good job, yet the OP made her feel like two cents when she took away the tip. Some people like to say they are Christian’s, but are really just jerks hiding behind Christianity.
I'm not sure why TAH thinks that leaving that much money on the table is not a problem. 200 hundred is a lot of money to a lot of people and can easily be picked up. This AH is living in a fantasy world. It's not like they ordered a cup of coffee and left a 5. I mean christ sakes how careless are people with money nowadays!
Ok so I worked in many restaurants in my life time. Here is the deal with many of their walkout policies. Server is stuck paying either half or full and if it happens more than once, possibly fired. The ancient of thinking you possible worked for free if a let's say 90 tab walks out and you made 150 total. On top that, you must cover your tip outs to a host and bat usually and the tax on tab then of course the tip that never was. It's possible that was the case and perhaps her anxiety of trumped her trust in the GP. Now you took a tip you whole heartedly wanted to bless her with assuming she was excusing you of theft and you left her a insult of a tip because you were offended.
No matter the amount, I always find my server and hand the tip to them directly. I know it won't get stolen, and if they happen to work at one of those places that wants their servers to pool the tips so everyone gets an equal payout no matter the caliber of work they put in (which is utter and complete bs) they can pocket it since THEY earned it. I also live in a small southern town (USA) and you can bet your biscuits the number of dishonest people and meth/crackheads is high enough that you probably don't want to leave money of any amount unsupervised on the table. 🤷
Yta I'm assuming the money was inside the booklet that holds the bill, she would not have seen that and who in there right mind leaves 200 cash sitting on table for anyone to grab. Where I live most people pay at register or hand payment to waiter/waitress I would have assumed a dine in dash as well and then shenwould have had to pay
Used to be a server so lets nip this in the bud now. Restaurants do not punish the servers anymore. It's 2024. Maybe small mom and pop restaurants but chains do not anymore. NTA. It's like when the server asks if I want my change tip instantly goes down. Cause that's them asking for a tip, its rude. And when paying cash I always make sure the server sees it due to bussers stealing from the servers. So I do feel like you should have waited till they noticed money out but she definitely shouldn't have came at you like that. And all these judgmental people giving you c**p for trying to leave a big tip...screw them. It's very nice of you to do that once in awhile. I feels good to get a large tip on a small ticket.
The righteous cow should have handed the cash to the server initially and always should. She gets off on telling people they do well and what not. Leaving a $150 tip is nice but not to brag on the Reddit board about doing it when going out. The server didn’t want to be in the hook but the patrons should know better than to leave cash on the table especially $200. She the ah for taking back the money.
Let me preface this with a "I hate tipping and tipping culture. It's terrible. And we need to do better with our service industry." Both are AH. But neither major ones. First and foremost, if you otherwise felt the service was that good to deserve a 300% tip, then it's ridiculous to cut it down to 8% over a misunderstanding. Second, there's a lot of reasons for a server to disregard the table to stop you. By the time they stop and check, if you hadn't paid, you could be out the door and harder to get. You think there's low crime, but don't know. She worded things poorly, but given the situation she thought she was in, it's not as if she had a prepared script to go off of. It was panic at being $50 out on her day. Finally, for you, totally understandable for you to be hurt by the accusation. I doubt it was nearly as bad as you think, but that doesn't matter. Reduce the tip? Sure, totally justified. But by that amount? Not sure you're justified there.
This brought to mind a story from years back where we went to watch a very early morning hockey game at a bar. They had a special license to start serving at 830 am to match the international game - being played in Sweden. So we got there before 8 to get a table. The waitress explained no alcohol would be served till the time which was fine but it meant she wasn't taking any of our order. So like no juice or coffee until 830. The entire restaurant was packed & not being waited on until.the bell so it became insanely backed up. The rest of the service became awful in result. Lots of chaos just everywhere. My boss has paid the bill & I didn't realize she left not a great tip - just $5 as the waitress pretty much ignored us the entire time. But then she confronted my boss in the parking lot with the tiny tip, to which my boss said oh thanks I must have forgotten that & took back the 5 the waitress was waving in her face. I was already in the car at that point & just laughed at the moment.
We stop leaving cash and walking out when someone stole it all. And as a server, I have seen customers steal tips. I even saw a table of six leave great tips, but one guy came back and stole the money his friends left. Per policy, we weren't allowed to say anything. But I never paid for a walkout. You don't pay to work.
Another thing to think about is that some restaurants make the servers pool the tips then divide them evenly.
what idiot walks out and leaves money on the table to begin with instead of handing it to the server?
im confused, they had a bill for $46 but they left $200 on the table and didnt need change? was the bill $150 and the $40 was a tip or was the bill $40 and the $150 was the tip? and who leaves money on a table without making sure it gets collected by staff instead of getting stolen?
I see both sides so easily. Yes punish/teach people that behaviors have consequences but also I can easily see this being someone who only reacted this way due to toxic work environment (lose of wages for dine and dashes). If the restaurant is shady and taking your pay for something out of your control I get confronting the guests before checking (still can politely). The restaurant industry needs to do and be better. A server shouldn't be punished for a dine and dash if they weren't part of it. They shouldn't stress losing their income because of a******s. For the customer I get not wanting to leave that big of a tip for someone who called me a thief, I wouldn't want to, but a random extra $150 can also, sadly, be a big help for some people. I think I would've taken the 150 back but left a 10
Yta..she's young and not a typical gen z ..yeah, she could have controlled her emotions a little bit better, but everyone has a bad day, everyone gets their a** chewed by their boss or as another person commented, maybe she had to be responsible for a chew and screw...if everything was perfect until you're ready to walk out the door, why do this??? Did it affect your meal?? Give the kid a break, retail, food service, etc.all suck to work in..
NTA the server was WAY out of bounds! To even infer a customer was a thief is outrageous without absolute proof! Not only would I have taken back the generous tip, but I would have spoken to the manager. Wth is the server's problem? Maybe projection? Makes me wonder how many times she herself has 'dined and dashed.' Your husband needs to get a grip and learn how to stand up for both of you. The server was accusing him of being a thief also!
I think in a perfect world ok but walk a mile in her shoes,she admitted she hadnt checked table (she basically panicked). Also I think your change in tip was harsh and seemingly erased everything up to that point???. Lastly who are you to teach teach her a lesson? Heard the saying about glass houses?
Seriously, I can totally understand the waitress's reaction. Yes, she should have stayed calm and asked politely about paying, to spare the customers from embarrassment. I would have left the original tip, told her it's on the table and said to her how great her service was, but that the way she made a scene like that wasn't appreciated and give her a friendly tip of advice for future scenarios to stay calm and politely address the situation.
This made me remember how when I moved to a small town in Idaho, had been there only a short time and my ex and I went to a really great steakhouse for dinner one evening. Great food, friendly service, casual atmosphere. Our waitress was a beautiful young woman and very nice. We paid and left, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. About a week or two later, I bumped into her somewhere in town. She had been carrying around $20 ever since because she realised after we left that she'd made a mistake on our bill and overcharged us and had been hoping to run into me to pay us back. I was only 26 at the time and so surprised by the situation that I just took the money. I wished I would have just told her to keep it just for her honesty. We didn't have much, but we hadn't even realised we'd been overcharged, so we could have spared it. But my brain was just not quick enough! But we went to that restaurant anytime we wanted to dine out, and usually tipped well, especially around holidays.
Load More Replies... Well (a deep subject for shallow minds), making assumptions is a very slippery slope, after all it does spell out that it does make "an a*s out of you and me". This young woman should have, indeed, checked the table before making the worst "assumption " and reacting the way she did. However, OP was rather vindictive in her reaction by shorting her tip by such a huge amount, just plain mean and uncalled for. Would have been better if she changed the tip to 15 or 20% given the fact she admitted the service was just fine, in fact, fine enough to warrant her leaving the initial $200. Her reaction was on the level of a 10 yr old on the playground taking their ball and leaving because of some perceived slight. Thus, they were both wrong.
I would go back and give her the tip. In your job u probably don't know the trama of someone unintentionally or intentionally walking out on a server. U give with your heart u forgive with your heart. God bless u and I pray u do the right thing with your blessings. Ty Paul B
I would never have left that much cash just lying on the table like that. It's too easy for someone else, even another server, to nonchalantly walk by and snatch up that money. Always make contact with your server before you just up and leave. It was nice that OP wanted to leave such a hefty tip, but that wasn't the wisest way to do it. And as anyone can see, doing that paves the way for a lot of mistakes to be made. Server didn't check the table, because OP hadn't acknowledged they were leaving. OP didn't skip out on the bill, but the server didn't know that. Some establishments used to make the server responsible, and would take the amount out of the employee's paycheck, if the party skips out on the check. Maybe that's why the server was quick to jump to conclusions. Both parties were at fault. The whole thing could have been avoided.
They both could have handled the situation better. The server could have chosen to question them politely, rather than framing it as a confrontation. The diner should have left *nothing less* than a 20% tip. Leaving more is indeed a kindness. That's also the exact quality our world would benefit from, were it a more common practice. Guessing that the server had indeed been previously victimized by "dine-n-dash" AHs. That's probably why she caught up w/ them *before* they'd reached the door. If she'd gone to the table 1st & been right, chances are they'd have escaped & she'd be left paying their bill herself. US restaurants pay their staff below even min. wage, which is horrendous. Many also often make their staff pay unpaid bills left by creeps. So, dine-n-dash can result in a server basically working for free (from a few hours to a few days, depending on the amount left unpaid). That's a hideous outcome, and we should feel ashamed as a nation for allowing it.
I am a server and I love my job although I only have a 8 grade education I am not a drug user drunk where and I have never received any extra money or food stamps my the state. I am not now bit I have been a single mother who had a daughter I had to provide for I remember when my grandpa died I had to go to work to feed my daughter that evening. YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT SOMEONE IS GOING THRU. it don't hurt to be kind ALL the time if you can lighten someone day well Bless You. Because God did you this morning when you woke up
Yta, but because of a different reason. Why on earth would you give a tip 3 times the bill? As a non-usa citizen I know tipping is different in the US than in other countries. But do you realise that by doing this, you are destroying your own tipping culture even more. (worse when doing it abroad, setting the 'norm' for the rest of the word, even when not necessary)
This is a fake post. The op is getting a lot of flak on reddit because they've been caught falsifying posts in the past.
OP was embarrassed when she was accused in public of stealing, so she decided to punish the waitress. She could have showed the girl compassion. Most people paying in cash, wait for the server to bring back change and that change is left in the bill folder. They could still leave an excessive tip and walk away knowing the server will be pleasantly surprised and the server would feel at ease that their table paid for their meals.
This is unbelievable from the get go. If it's on of their regular spots, the server would have known them. Even if she was new, the others would have given her a head's up to how they tend to tip. This is fake all around.
Tips are a bonus, bot a guarantee. Its not my job to subsidize the restaurants wages. You can earn your tip. Its my money, ill do with it what i choose.
Restaurants do this all the time. If you dont like it they will just hire someone who wont complain. I have had people walk off with what equals my weeks wages in dinning bills. I still had to tip out the bar that night based off that sale as well so lost all i made and had to pay out of pocket to the bar as you can't just not tip out before leaving for the night.
Whoa, absolutely not! 100% YTA. You've obviously never experienced the panic of seeing someone walk out without knowing if they've paid or not. It's terrifying. When a guest doesn't pay, the server pays for it, not the restaurant. We have mobile pay at the restaurant I work at and it's thrown me off many times where someone pays on their phone and dips quickly, and I hurriedly have to go back to my screen and check that they finished paying. Losing $46 in tips if OP hadn't paid would have been a big loss. Major a*****e to take all the effort that they obviously put in since you tipped so well in the first place, and throw it out the window because you can't be empathetic. Disgusting.
NTA. It's her boss's job to pay her, not yours. Tipping has gotten ridiculous.
I would've done the same thing why because the same amount of time it took her to run after you because she thought you didn't pay is the same amount of time she could've went right to your table and claimed her tip and saw that you paid your bill and left her a huge tip. but since she did that she blocked her own blessing oh well her loss
YTA. Total power move, just like the "generosity" in the first place. Ugh.
The server made a small mistake. OP didn't actually dine and dash so getting so indignant about it and taking it personal is weird. Literally does not affect you that she thought you left without paying. Could've made it a teaching moment while still feeling good about yourself for leaving a large tip but we know that it's not really about that. It's about making yourself feel good and not about just helping people. Otherwise OP wouldn't have made a post about something so innocuous and made a big show about taking the tip back. Tip or don't, that's your choice. But don't use it to make yourself seem like a good person because if you were you'd just do it and not turn to the interenet for validation.
I don't know if tipping culture still stands in restaurants. It used to be that tips were split between waitstaff, cook and back kitchen staff. So those measly tips you leave end up being truly measly if this still stands
Both on this one. Waitress should have quick checked the table first, but some places also hold the server responsible for unpaid bills. It is possoble she's had this happen and just panicked it happened again. No need to cut what might be a needed tip over her trying to save her already small paycheck
Why would you just leave that much money on the table without letting someone know? OP sounds a bit arrogant IMO. It's not about tipping. It's the entitlement that they can just walk out without letting the server know the bill was covered. It looked like they were walking out on the bill so they got treated as such.
Ummm, stuck up much OP? The server likely gets garnished for walkouts by the business. Most times generosity involves empathy, forgiveness, understanding & selfLESSness. IMO you're a thin-skinned phony & living in a small town " Southern " area doesn't exempt you from being a kind person. YTA
accidental double entry, that is just how angry this post has me right now.
If you're paying cash, why would you leave the full amount on the table without telling the server ?? Is that a common thing to do? I'd think they were dine and dashing too
Absolutely the a*****e! I feel like she just came here to brag about leaving such a big tip then snatching it away from her because she wanted to make sure that she didn't get stuck paying your bill. Could the waitress had handled that better? Yes she could have but she probably has lost money in people taking off in her, even though I despise restaurants that do that to already underpaid staff.
Man, people are harsh. I leave cash tips all the time. Unfortunately some servers feel that it's not their job to continually check on their tables because they're busy talking or sometimes rightfully very busy. Usually when I walk away leaving cash on the table, it's because they're watching the TV in the sports bar or on their phone and not around. You can't flag another server as they try not to make eye contact or ignore you rushing away saying "I'll grab your server". If they were doing their job like they're getting paid to do they would have picked it up from me personally in the 5 to 10 minutes that we typically stay after our meal is done. The server could have avoided this by simply asking a question and explaining why she did so before checking the table.
This is pretty common for people who have money or power; they sometimes pretend like they’re being benevolent but if you make one wrong move, they’ll pull the string so fast your head will spin. And it doesn’t matter what the context is; they don’t care why you might have done what you did, it’s the fact you did it and they didn’t like it. In this case, the OP was ever so slightly embarrassed over a misunderstanding and wanted the server to feel some pain or embarrassment of her own. Because it isn’t enough to be rich and powerful, other people have to be appropriately deferential to their betters.
Why are people downvoting people who think that they are the AH in this situation? They aren’t saying anything mean, they just have a different opinion.
I'm with the customer! The server have to learn to be calm and have patience. It's sad but Servers have to understand they will not always get tipped no matter what service they provide it's part of the business.
Waiting tables is NOT a career path people go out of their way to choose. They do it because options are limited. Most restaurants pay their wait staff well below minimum wage, with tips making up the rest of it. Many also mandate the server be held accountable for dine and dash. I had a customer like you once. They tipped generously the first time. The next time, they brought a huge group of 20 people and took up half my section, ran me ragged for two hours and left less than 10 percent. The next time they came in, I refused to wait on them. The gal who did take them gave them bare minimum service. Wait staff aren't nice to you because they like you. They're nice because it's they're job and they depend on the tips. You punished that server for doing her job. You took money out of her pocket. Literally. Because she did her job by asking you to pay. Ask yourself what it was about you that made her think you're the kind of person to dine and dash.
Miss Ma'am... You are, in all possible ways, the @ssh0l3. Sweet jesus lady. Cash payment vs. credit/debit are two whole separate options. Most people pay with card these days. Even if she wouldn't have had to pay your bill if you did a dine and dash, that means she's still paying out for bussing, hosting, and dishwash tipout. You are ABSOLUTELY the @ssh0l3. And just because she didn't realize you'd already paid (which she would have, if you could have indicated that to her in any way), for that, and THAT ALONE, you decide to restrict her personal earnings on her work towards you as a table from a giant tip to a "here, maybe that can help with the taxes you're paying and your minimum wage of $2.13 / hr..." Good lord you are an absolute piece of hot smelly wet garbage. Go to h3ll and stay there, and never ever again frequent an establishment where tips are all that servers have to bring home. Sincerely, every single server that's ever been threatened with the good old dine and dash.
Also, and only for context, I worked as a server/waitress/bartender for 13+ years in the Southern parts of the USA. Whatever your server earns from the price of your tab, they are legally required to pay out tipshare, towards the hostess/host, the busser, the dishwasher, and sometimes even the cooks. So, what you left her means she just made nothing, at all, period. I understand punishing people for making mistakes. But if you've lived in the South at all, or for long, then you realize that what you did is the equivalent of spitting in her face. You are absolutely TA. If you are so worried about the money you left why didn't you put it into her hands and thank her? Why just walk away from $200 on a table unless you wanted the right of virtue signaling and offense as she realized she was going to have to have paid for the privilege of waiting upon your table... You, my dear, are a real piece of work.
Load More Replies... OP was DEFINITELY an AH. ANY one who agrees with them has never worked as a server. And like so many said, who doesn't at least indicate to the server the $ is there SO THEY KNOW ITS THERE and risk it getting stolen? And they definitely were play power games, and trying to humblebrag by bringing up how much extra they were tipping
31
131