Bride-To-Be’s ‘Monster-In-Law’ Won’t Allow Her To Wear The Makeup She Wants And Her Future Husband Is On His Mother’s Side
Some people have dreamed about their wedding from when they are little and almost have it all planned in their heads. Even if you don’t particularly care about the ceremony, you still have preferences for color, style and other things.
While those decisions should be made by the future groom and bride as it is their wedding, sometimes parents get overly involved. But this woman not only has to bear her mother-in-law who proclaimed herself as the wedding supervisor, but her husband isn’t on her side either. They got in a fight over what makeup she should wear and she now thinks that she might have overreacted over a minor detail.
More info: Reddit
Woman is getting married and after compromising on what dress she should wear, she is not stepping down about her makeup
Image credits: Lucy Maude Ellis (not the actual photo)
The Original Poster (OP) is the future bride and she wasn’t planning on marrying her fiancé any time soon, but when the couple told his parents that she is pregnant, they wanted it to happen immediately. Most probably it has to do with the fact that the family is conservative, as the woman described it.
The parents not only want the couple to get married as soon as possible, but the OP’s mother-in-law wants to know about every decision so she can make sure nothing could be seen as “offensive.”
Bored Panda reached out to Scott R. Braithwaite, Ph.D., a Professor at Department of Psychology at Brigham Young University and a researcher whose main interests center on preventing marital distress and divorce as well as enhancing marital health, which involves an intervention called ePREP that he developed.
The Professor explained to us what may be the reasons behind the parents wanting to be so involved in their children’s weddings. The question we should be asking is whether weddings are for the couple or for their parents, “The answer people give probably depends mostly on whether they are the couple or whether they are the parents. In any case, parents often see a wedding as a public report card signaling how they did as parents. Because of this, they are eager to manage the situation so that they come across looking as successful as possible.”
The groom’s family is conservative and his mom is supervising the wedding to avoid any decisions that could offend anyone
Image credits: Lth35467
At first the mother-in-law warned the bride-to-be not to show too much skin with her wedding dress, but when she tried to control what makeup the woman will be wearing, the OP was not willing to step down.
The problem is that it was OP’s husband who pointed out that his mom wouldn’t like the bold makeup looks that the woman preferred. When she saw what her MIL suggested, they were very natural looks that didn’t even include eyeshadow or noticeable lipstick.
The husband demanded a compromise because he felt that she would look like a clown and embarrass them both in front of everyone. Because it was not only her face, as there is no distinction between “mine” and “yours” in marriage, according to him.
Professor Braithwaite comments on the man’s understanding of marriage as many people in the comments were quite concerned about this view, “In an ideal situation, both partners retain their individual sense of self but choose to come together to create a new whole that is greater than the sum of its parts—that is interdependence. This process is complicated and can lead to a lot of growing pains as a couple moves from the independence of single life to the interdependence of marriage. A risk in this process is losing one’s sense of self, which can lead to dependence. Dependence seems romantic but is unhealthy. It leads to an enmeshed relationship where it’s not clear when one partner ends, and the other begins.”
Firstly, she didn’t like the dress as she thought it revealed too much and the bride agreed to change it
Image credits: Lth35467
These little disagreements may be surfacing only because everyone is irritated and stressed about the upcoming wedding, but it’s hard to say what actually is going on their minds, but “The idea that the husband is aligning with his mother and not his wife is a little concerning, even if the wife is being undiplomatic.”
It could be that there is a deeper issue and Scott R. Braithwaite adds “Good communication about what’s really going on is probably important in the situation. They are quibbling over technical details when something more significant is happening deep below the surface.” So he would suggest the couple to figure out how to talk about those issues instead of focusing in problem-solving to improve the situation.
But when the mother-in-law also sent in the makeup looks she envisioned the bride wearing, the woman was upset that they were too natural and not her style
Image credits: Lth35467
Although a wedding is a union between two people, it usually involves more relatives. The father will accompany his daughter to the altar and will have the first dance with her. Sisters and brothers usually become bridesmaids and groomsmen. Your aunt and cousins help you to choose which dress looks good on you, etc.
But sometimes relatives want to be more involved than the bride and groom would want, especially their parents. And naturally, that leads to conflicts, because even if you are not planning anything big or extravagant, they will have a different opinion on something.
What is worse, her future husband agreed with his mother and didn’t want her to look like a clown and embarrass them both
Image credits: Lth35467
It is easier when you and your partner are on the same page, but if one of them sides with their parent, it becomes even more difficult. Conscious Rethink suggests that this is the first problem to be solved: “You need to make it very clear to your husband that the two of you are a united team, and that you need to make decisions for yourselves, regardless of what his parents might think or want.”
From there, it is easier to tell the parents your opinion and disagree with them. “Just know that the more you and your husband can stand up and stand firm, the more his parents will eventually get the message. They may resent you somewhat for it, but unless they are particularly toxic individuals, they should back down sooner or later.”
It is unclear if the parents in the story are particularly toxic and if the husband sides with his mom because he is used to not fighting with her or if he actually agrees with her. However, people in the comments made their assumptions and believe that the bride should run.
Image credits: F. D. Richards (not the actual photo)
The first red flag is that OP’s future husband sides with his mom, so it means that she will have to deal with her interfering with their relationship all the time. They were also weirded out how the man remarked that in marriage, the wife’s body belongs to him when she tried to argue that it’s her face and she can do whatever she wants with it.
When the OP asked if she was wrong to call her fiancé delusional, people thought that it was the exact word that best describes him. Do you agree? Do you think that this behavior before marriage is an indication of what waits after? Let us know in the comments.
People didn’t think that the woman would be happy in this marriage and that her mother-in-law’s behavior is just the beginning
Image credits: antonio (not the actual photo)
Oh God. Red flags! Men that are obsessed with their mothers. No. I'm sorry but your wife is now more important than your Mum. Of course there are individuals in marriage k******d. Marriage is two individuals sharing life. He's choosing his mum over his wife. What a fool.
Once I have watched " I love a mama's boy" and I can only think why they keep the relationship when it's obvious that the mother and her opinions and decisions are more important than the future wife? The woman complained about that all trough the episodes but still keeping the relationship. If you can see that you have to live with their mothers and do what they want, why keeping going? One even went with them in their honeymoon...yes you read it good...his mother went to their honeymoon..its mind blowing...just run and don't look back.
Load More Replies...
Lucky the wimp and his mother have shown their true colours before the wedding rather than after. Get as far away as possible as fast as possible!
These were probably not the first red flags she got from them. She's probably going to marry him. She's pregnant and will have to deal with them regardless of the marriage.
Load More Replies...
RUN!!! Call off the wedding and get a good lawyer, because you know damned well Mama and Sonny will do everything they can to take the baby away from you, OP! You might not want to hear this option, but I have to say it; you might want to rethink having a baby with this a*****e and his Mama (wouldn’t put it past her to try taking hormones to start lactating so she can breastfeed her grandchild after she and Sonny steal the baby from you). Depending on where you live and what your beliefs are on the subject, if you’re still in the first trimester, you could free yourself of a potential lifelong tie to these controlling nut jobs. You know what I’m hinting at. Otherwise, either always have plenty of your family and friends around you, as extra protection, or simply move as far far far away from them as you can, dye your hair, dress differently, change identifiable habits, change your name and your baby’s birth certificate. Hell, choose different birthdays for the both of you. Then stay OFF social media. Do nothing that can give them a hint of where you are, or they may play dirty and try to kidnap the baby and disappear. I wouldn’t trust them to not play dirty one tiny bit. It’s a really f****d up situation, either way. But I see this potentially turning into an abusive situation—-emotionally at first, then escalating to physically, including isolating you from family and friends, making sure you have no access to money, including your own salary if he “lets” you work, and making sure you have no options but to stay with his sorry a*s. No. Terminate the engagement, and if you’re not too far long and of a mind, terminate the other tie to him. Surgically cut everything related to him tf OUT of your life. Believe me, you’re still young, so there’s plenty of time to meet a REAL man, one who will love you for yourself and treat you right, and with whom you will feel safe and secure having children. All with zero threat of a controlling MIL pulling his strings to do what she wants him to.
So, the family is so conservative as to dictate what she wears and how she behaves. But not whether the son knocks up his girlfriend... that tracks.
Yeah that's a ironic trend i notice too. For a party supposedly about family values they really lack at it.
Load More Replies...
Ah man. NTA x 100000000. It’s her body, and he thinks not only he but his mom should get a say in it??? Also, she doesn’t even want to get married but his PARENTS think they should? They’re in their twenties! And god, she’s pregnant. What if she has a daughter? Can you imagine what that would be like for that poor little girl? She needs to run.
NTA!!! One word: RUN!!! Fiance and MIL are just trying to be puppet masters and play OP on a string with all these wedding prerequisites. If they even complain about make-up, time for OP to cut off the strings holding her back pronto.
This man seems like the kind who thinks women are property once they get married, given he's so conservative he won't even let her wear makeup. I hope OP runs and never looks back.
So he's conservative enough to hate lipstick but not conservative enough to keep it in his pants and not impregnate his girlfriend. It doesn't sound she's had much choice about whether she even wants to get married - quick, she's up the duff, must marry her now or the shame.
So, he is from a conservative family but liberal enough to shtup before marriage and not use birth control. You will be making a huge mistake by going forward with him. And don't think that granny won't try to use the kid as a weapon.
DONT GET MARRIED!! This is a controlling boy to his mommy. You will regret this badly!!!
Do not marry him. It seems he's already married to his mother. Run girl, run!
I'm a single mom who got pregnant before I realized the narcisist I dating was really quite criminal. Im very glad I am single. Its one thing to request that you choose some conservative looks if marying into a conservative family. (not picking them but requesting it) Its quite an other to choose your dress and makeup for you or to call you a clown... if he has seen you in makeup before he clearly knows you are not..so siding that hard with a parent nope
Please run. The fact that he is saying there's no yours or mime wrong dude I have my own thoughts and demand respect. It's suppose to be your wedding not hers if that's what she wants then sorry maybe she can marry her son.
This guy has raisins between his legs if he can't tell mommy dearest to take her obnoxious behavior and wedge it someplace dark! Do NOT marry this dude! He's not going to improve with time! I learned this lesson bc I was that guy for years till it took a devastating loss to get it through my granite brain bucket!
Granite brain bucket is the best ever 😂
Load More Replies...
There is no "mine". When refering to HER BODY? Scary AF. In a large portion of the United States marital rape is LEGAL... Go for a divorce and they won't even let it be admissible in court. Let alone a custody battle. That's what leads women to STAY in abusive marriages, that or leave their children alone in shared custody with their ex-husbands that LEGALLY raped them throughout their marriages. "You stayed home to raise the kids, I worked, I own the house and cars, if you leave me I'll get the kids." JFC, she has a chance to get out before it's a reality.
I need to know if this woman is safe. Did she call off the wedding? OMG, I can only imagine trying to raise a child with this monster. She needs a lawyer ASAP.
This is what led to my first divorce...it felt like I was actually married to his mom, and I can't even describe how horrible it truly was...I was always wrong and her "prescious baby boy" was always right, no matter what he did. Also, I learned later that the only reason she kept pushing us to get married was so he could have rights to our child (we weren't married when I gave birth), and under my state's law, even if the father is on the birth certificate, he won't have any rights until there is marriage, according to a lawyer. Is that fair? Definitely not, but I still wish I would have known, because I would have ran. OP needs to run too!
I agree a wedding isn't the right thing for them. Unfortunately a baby isn't either; and she's pregnant. Even if she decides to end the romantic relationship, she still has to co-parent a child with them. Her life with them is still going to be hard. I see a custody battle in their future no matter whether they get married or not. But she's more than likely going to marry him. I'm almost sure these weren't the first red flags she got from him.
I got married because of my MIL. Starting a marriage off in this way isn't good. My situation was different but I got married for the wrong reason and during a time of great stress. We didn't make it. Separated after 4 years. Divorced a year after that. And my MIL wasn't anywhere near as controlling as this woman's MIL.
OP run and run as fast you can away. What's going to happen when you have the child. They are going to have hissy fits about how you want to raise your child. And obviously he will agree to anything his mom says. This is not 1950 where if you get pregnant out of wedlock you have to get married. So not marry this guy. Not just for your sanity but your child's. They are going to undermine everything you do. Don't let someone dictate what you wear clothes and makeup wise. That's your decision. Had an ex who wanted his best friends wife to give me makeup tips. I didn't need her makeup tips. Her hair had been bleached so long I couldn't imagine the damage done. Raise your baby on your own. This going to get bad and I mean bad if you marry him because you will be marrying his mother. So run! NTA
Shotgun wedding. Should last about 9-13 months, then separation and then divorce, 2 years all told.
“There’s no tours and mine in marriage” ITS HER F*****G FACE WTF DOES HE EXPECT
This is very weird to me. I’ve only been married for 17 years now but even at the start of our marriage if My Mother or Father or my Future in-laws every made even a whisper of a suggestion for anything involving me and my wife - I always politely told them to buzz off. It seems weird to me this boy would cave when his Mother suggests anything and then even goes so far as to agree with her? S**t your mouth my guy. It’s your wife’s day, not yours. If my wife wanted to wear an actual clown suit to our weeding I’d say “ did you atleast get me a matching over-sized bow tie and size 57 shoe?” Walk. Or you’ll be on your knees fluffing his Mom’s co*k on the honeymoon and waking up to all three of you in bed picking names my George Washington Benjamin Carver Ellington the 3rd for your first born son…. And your first born will be a boy because his Mom will have you on a special diet to make sure of it.
Oh, dear. Personally I am not a big makeup girl and probably would like some of the same things your potential MIL does. BUT! I also always admire strong lip colors and beautifully made up eyes. What I don't like is someone dictating all my choices. Leave this guy at the altar. If possible, hire a clown to deliver the news that you are calling it off. Recommend that the clown be accompanied by a nice large bodyguard. Enjoy your life.
Stop! Drop the bouquet! Turn towards the door! Run through it & get down the road, down the hill, & round the corner ASAP. This is just a preview of what your's & your child's life will be like if you yoke yourself to this family. It's highly unlikely your potential in-laws will EVER be OK w/ you unless you jump every time they say frog. Your potential husband isn't loyal to you & you'll be alone. Run thru fire if necessary, but run. This marriage is doomed.
I sure as hell hope she didn't marry this guy, pregnant or not. He sounds like just as much of a monster as his mother is. It would be one of the biggest mistakes of her life if she went through it for the sake of the child.
So many red flags. If you go through with it start preparing for your divorce or being abused emotionally for sure.
First. Some momma's boy defend the wife/gf or fiancee. My son sometimes agrees with me as his gf does. And sometimes they don't. That's ok. All because he's a momma's boy doesn't mean they're told what to do. Some I agree they're controlled by their mothers. I'm just saying not all. He agrees with me when he TRULY agrees. But this mother from this story could be controlling. Especially if he defends and agrees with his mother all the time. And telling his future bride that there's is not such things is yours and mine when it comes to her makeup.... yeah that's a problem. It's ok if it was suggested and she didn't like it and she picked the makeup but that's not what happened. And being told by the parents to get married makes me wonder how old they are. But still. I hope she didn't marry him. Especially when his future bride didn't like the makeup, what he said but didn't tell his mom to back off and argued with his fiancee instead of the mom. RED FLAG
Run sweetie don't do it , RED FLAGS CONTROL ISSUES FORREAL WILL ONLY GET WORSE TRUST ME
One thing I really love about my fiancee... When I am arguing with his mother, that means *we* are arguing with his mother 😍
Ig I'm the only one questioning how in the world she got pregnant with this guy. Kinda sus if you ask me.
Do you got a good divorce attorney standing by??? I can't believe your asking this question. To be honest, I'm not to sure why your even thinking about this. The only question that you should be asking, is not to us, but to him. And it should be this, "do you plan on supporting the baby as a Father, and not my husband?" Sincerely, get out, don't do it, find your own way, there are plenty of good guys out there with mothers who support a healthy marriage, not controlling it, but loving you the way you are, not what they expect you to be. Good luck. And please, get out of this relationship. 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏please.
I’ve witnessed the “you’re to immature to understand “ and falling to what his “Mom” said before in my best friend growing up and her Longtime boyfriend and now EX-husband. Don’t wait 10 years and two kids later! Get out NOW
"There's no mine or yours in marriage" because it all belongs to mom. Too immature for marriage? Let's not get married until both ready for it and be a proper partnership, not mommy's puppets.
omg! as soon as mil posted herself as the 'supervisor' the red flag should have been raised but not waved as i get that the mother of the groom is often left out of the planning process. at that time, i would have discussed w/fiance' that i would accept her 'suggestions' but final decision would have been mine. as for the make up issue - fiance's comment of 'there's no mine or yours' in marriage is code talk for 'it's my way or the highway'. if i were this woman, regardless of pregnancy, would postpone any wedding until it was established marriage is a partnership not a dictatorship. i foresee a lot of conflict in the future - especially with a grandchild coming into the picture.
Oh lordy, red flags galore. But also, my eyeshadow for my wedding day was rainbow colors so this woman would've had a stroke lol. But this guy is a fool.
"Conservative" or just TAHs? Their whole family will act like jerks if her face doesn't turn them on at her wedding...or they want plain to make sure she doesn't turn them on? Creepy sexual predator behavior. & that shows their moral superiority? Or shows they can only keep from acting evil if females outside their religion (or cult) are forced to make themselves ugly? Or they're being evil anyway and hiding it? Or they enjoy evil acts more when they get to make their victims unattractive first? & they worry the family will think she is bad because their little angel got her pregnant while having premarital sex? I assume she was living within her own morals. He consciously chose to do what he supposedly believes is wrong. Not aware of a religion that offers heaven for controlling people not in the religion while not controlling themselves. Lots of men who act like they're God's boss say it, but not doctrine that I'm aware of.
First, the MIL has no business " supervising" the wedding. Not her place. Fiance needs to grow a pair and stop being a mamas boy. So many red flags. This is a prelude to what the marriage will be like, everything will be decided by MIL. RUN girl and don't look back! Leave both in the rear view mirror and find a man who respects you, because this nimrod doesn't. Good luck my dear.
You have a choice here. You can marry this limp noodle of a boy-man and in a sense, be married to his mother as well. Or.... you can call off this fiasco-in-the-making and live a much happier life without both of them. He's never gonna disagree with Mama: you can take that to the bank. Ask yourself if this is what you want for a lifestyle.
I'm usually the last to say "throw away the man" over one problem, but in this case, throw him far far away as fast as possible. Throw him far and run even farther in the opposite direction. Trust me, marrying a MIL is the worst!
Well, to the Bride. My thoughts are as follows. As his parents are very conservative they must be well known and can't afford to have their Posh name run through the mud. So give the M.I.L & so called future Husband a choice. I choose what i wear, wedding dress & makeup, OR there will be NO marraige, you will only get to see your child, Grandchild by court ordered visitation. Plus you will end up paying maintainance. How long do you think that will stay quiet for.?? How will your POSH name stand in the public eye then. Tell your interfering M.I.L to keep her unwanted nose out of your wedding plans. Tell your Future Husband, if you still marry him, to grow a pair and tell his Mother to back the hell off. You must put yourself & your unborn child ahead of what could be a very one sided marraige. This is also proving how much your BF DOESN'T LOVE YOU. The apron strings from Mother to Son, haven't been cut yet. As much as it may hurt you, put you and your child first.
Please don’t marry him, you are young and you can find a man who will love you and you baby, who will put you first and treat you and the baby like queen. Also don’t put your baby through the life you will have with that man. There will be plenty of fights your child will witness. If than you decide to get a divorce that will add stress on your child. Children tend to blame themselves. Right now, you have a choice to marry him and put yourself and you child through hell or run and don’t look back. You’re going to have a baby, and she should be first in making the right choice. He won’t be a good father either.
Scrape the jesus freak cultist off immediately. You marry this a*****e, you're marrying the whole twisted family. For the love of the gods, do not breed with him.
I find it interesting that she states they are very conservative. That kind thinking would include sex before marriage. Since she's pregnant, he clearly wasn't interested in being conservative or doing what mommy would approve in that situation. Clearly a hypocrite and a setup for difficult marriage at best. Red Flags all over this.
If you really don't see a way to avoid marrying, perhaps you can hold the wedding hostage to a prenuptial agreement. Put In how much support you would get in the event of a divorce, the fact that your mother in law must not live with you or come overunannounced/unapproved, that each party to the marriage maintains separate identities, that you get custody in the event the marriage dissolves, and whatever else is important to you. Once you've married him you will lose the leverage. And for heaven's sake, get a college degree if you don't have one and get some work experience. You need to be able to support yourself.
I got married at 19, at the insistence of BOTH our moms, because I was pregnant. I was divorced 3 years later. Marrying ONLY because you're pregnant is a TERRIBLE idea. RUN GIRL, RUN!
Bride gets final say in everything wedding related. Groom can make suggestions. All other must wait to be asked. Groom must agree with this or break up. That's it.
Please…RUN as fast as you can. YOU will be the 3rd person in this marriage. Your fiancé is a first class mommy’s boy and always will be. They don’t change. You will have no voice in this marriage. Is that what you want? Don’t you think you deserve better? Run now or divorce later, unless you are spineless and don’t want to cause waves. Way too many red flags. BTW: mom is not ‘conservative’. She is controlling. Big difference.
This is a red flag. Just run, don't walk, run as fast as you can away from him. A pregnancy isn't an excuse to get married. It gets even worst when he says "there is no such thing as mine or yours in marriage", this isn't a marriage. It's a circus and the mother is the ring leader.
I was forced to wear heavy jewelry till a week even after the marriage ended. All bcz my mil wanted to show her richness and luxury. And the joke is my husband did not like it and yet she did not care. If u hv a chance to break the marriage, plz do bcz believe me when I say u and ur husband will live more with ur mil than with each other. She will be literally and totally in ur life but ur husband won't be there. I started living life only after my mil died. So imagine ur plight!
Oh God. Red flags! Men that are obsessed with their mothers. No. I'm sorry but your wife is now more important than your Mum. Of course there are individuals in marriage k******d. Marriage is two individuals sharing life. He's choosing his mum over his wife. What a fool.
Once I have watched " I love a mama's boy" and I can only think why they keep the relationship when it's obvious that the mother and her opinions and decisions are more important than the future wife? The woman complained about that all trough the episodes but still keeping the relationship. If you can see that you have to live with their mothers and do what they want, why keeping going? One even went with them in their honeymoon...yes you read it good...his mother went to their honeymoon..its mind blowing...just run and don't look back.
Load More Replies... Lucky the wimp and his mother have shown their true colours before the wedding rather than after. Get as far away as possible as fast as possible!
These were probably not the first red flags she got from them. She's probably going to marry him. She's pregnant and will have to deal with them regardless of the marriage.
Load More Replies... RUN!!! Call off the wedding and get a good lawyer, because you know damned well Mama and Sonny will do everything they can to take the baby away from you, OP! You might not want to hear this option, but I have to say it; you might want to rethink having a baby with this a*****e and his Mama (wouldn’t put it past her to try taking hormones to start lactating so she can breastfeed her grandchild after she and Sonny steal the baby from you). Depending on where you live and what your beliefs are on the subject, if you’re still in the first trimester, you could free yourself of a potential lifelong tie to these controlling nut jobs. You know what I’m hinting at. Otherwise, either always have plenty of your family and friends around you, as extra protection, or simply move as far far far away from them as you can, dye your hair, dress differently, change identifiable habits, change your name and your baby’s birth certificate. Hell, choose different birthdays for the both of you. Then stay OFF social media. Do nothing that can give them a hint of where you are, or they may play dirty and try to kidnap the baby and disappear. I wouldn’t trust them to not play dirty one tiny bit. It’s a really f****d up situation, either way. But I see this potentially turning into an abusive situation—-emotionally at first, then escalating to physically, including isolating you from family and friends, making sure you have no access to money, including your own salary if he “lets” you work, and making sure you have no options but to stay with his sorry a*s. No. Terminate the engagement, and if you’re not too far long and of a mind, terminate the other tie to him. Surgically cut everything related to him tf OUT of your life. Believe me, you’re still young, so there’s plenty of time to meet a REAL man, one who will love you for yourself and treat you right, and with whom you will feel safe and secure having children. All with zero threat of a controlling MIL pulling his strings to do what she wants him to.
So, the family is so conservative as to dictate what she wears and how she behaves. But not whether the son knocks up his girlfriend... that tracks.
Yeah that's a ironic trend i notice too. For a party supposedly about family values they really lack at it.
Load More Replies... Ah man. NTA x 100000000. It’s her body, and he thinks not only he but his mom should get a say in it??? Also, she doesn’t even want to get married but his PARENTS think they should? They’re in their twenties! And god, she’s pregnant. What if she has a daughter? Can you imagine what that would be like for that poor little girl? She needs to run.
NTA!!! One word: RUN!!! Fiance and MIL are just trying to be puppet masters and play OP on a string with all these wedding prerequisites. If they even complain about make-up, time for OP to cut off the strings holding her back pronto.
This man seems like the kind who thinks women are property once they get married, given he's so conservative he won't even let her wear makeup. I hope OP runs and never looks back.
So he's conservative enough to hate lipstick but not conservative enough to keep it in his pants and not impregnate his girlfriend. It doesn't sound she's had much choice about whether she even wants to get married - quick, she's up the duff, must marry her now or the shame.
So, he is from a conservative family but liberal enough to shtup before marriage and not use birth control. You will be making a huge mistake by going forward with him. And don't think that granny won't try to use the kid as a weapon.
DONT GET MARRIED!! This is a controlling boy to his mommy. You will regret this badly!!!
Do not marry him. It seems he's already married to his mother. Run girl, run!
I'm a single mom who got pregnant before I realized the narcisist I dating was really quite criminal. Im very glad I am single. Its one thing to request that you choose some conservative looks if marying into a conservative family. (not picking them but requesting it) Its quite an other to choose your dress and makeup for you or to call you a clown... if he has seen you in makeup before he clearly knows you are not..so siding that hard with a parent nope
Please run. The fact that he is saying there's no yours or mime wrong dude I have my own thoughts and demand respect. It's suppose to be your wedding not hers if that's what she wants then sorry maybe she can marry her son.
This guy has raisins between his legs if he can't tell mommy dearest to take her obnoxious behavior and wedge it someplace dark! Do NOT marry this dude! He's not going to improve with time! I learned this lesson bc I was that guy for years till it took a devastating loss to get it through my granite brain bucket!
Granite brain bucket is the best ever 😂
Load More Replies... There is no "mine". When refering to HER BODY? Scary AF. In a large portion of the United States marital rape is LEGAL... Go for a divorce and they won't even let it be admissible in court. Let alone a custody battle. That's what leads women to STAY in abusive marriages, that or leave their children alone in shared custody with their ex-husbands that LEGALLY raped them throughout their marriages. "You stayed home to raise the kids, I worked, I own the house and cars, if you leave me I'll get the kids." JFC, she has a chance to get out before it's a reality.
I need to know if this woman is safe. Did she call off the wedding? OMG, I can only imagine trying to raise a child with this monster. She needs a lawyer ASAP.
This is what led to my first divorce...it felt like I was actually married to his mom, and I can't even describe how horrible it truly was...I was always wrong and her "prescious baby boy" was always right, no matter what he did. Also, I learned later that the only reason she kept pushing us to get married was so he could have rights to our child (we weren't married when I gave birth), and under my state's law, even if the father is on the birth certificate, he won't have any rights until there is marriage, according to a lawyer. Is that fair? Definitely not, but I still wish I would have known, because I would have ran. OP needs to run too!
I agree a wedding isn't the right thing for them. Unfortunately a baby isn't either; and she's pregnant. Even if she decides to end the romantic relationship, she still has to co-parent a child with them. Her life with them is still going to be hard. I see a custody battle in their future no matter whether they get married or not. But she's more than likely going to marry him. I'm almost sure these weren't the first red flags she got from him.
I got married because of my MIL. Starting a marriage off in this way isn't good. My situation was different but I got married for the wrong reason and during a time of great stress. We didn't make it. Separated after 4 years. Divorced a year after that. And my MIL wasn't anywhere near as controlling as this woman's MIL.
OP run and run as fast you can away. What's going to happen when you have the child. They are going to have hissy fits about how you want to raise your child. And obviously he will agree to anything his mom says. This is not 1950 where if you get pregnant out of wedlock you have to get married. So not marry this guy. Not just for your sanity but your child's. They are going to undermine everything you do. Don't let someone dictate what you wear clothes and makeup wise. That's your decision. Had an ex who wanted his best friends wife to give me makeup tips. I didn't need her makeup tips. Her hair had been bleached so long I couldn't imagine the damage done. Raise your baby on your own. This going to get bad and I mean bad if you marry him because you will be marrying his mother. So run! NTA
Shotgun wedding. Should last about 9-13 months, then separation and then divorce, 2 years all told.
“There’s no tours and mine in marriage” ITS HER F*****G FACE WTF DOES HE EXPECT
This is very weird to me. I’ve only been married for 17 years now but even at the start of our marriage if My Mother or Father or my Future in-laws every made even a whisper of a suggestion for anything involving me and my wife - I always politely told them to buzz off. It seems weird to me this boy would cave when his Mother suggests anything and then even goes so far as to agree with her? S**t your mouth my guy. It’s your wife’s day, not yours. If my wife wanted to wear an actual clown suit to our weeding I’d say “ did you atleast get me a matching over-sized bow tie and size 57 shoe?” Walk. Or you’ll be on your knees fluffing his Mom’s co*k on the honeymoon and waking up to all three of you in bed picking names my George Washington Benjamin Carver Ellington the 3rd for your first born son…. And your first born will be a boy because his Mom will have you on a special diet to make sure of it.
Oh, dear. Personally I am not a big makeup girl and probably would like some of the same things your potential MIL does. BUT! I also always admire strong lip colors and beautifully made up eyes. What I don't like is someone dictating all my choices. Leave this guy at the altar. If possible, hire a clown to deliver the news that you are calling it off. Recommend that the clown be accompanied by a nice large bodyguard. Enjoy your life.
Stop! Drop the bouquet! Turn towards the door! Run through it & get down the road, down the hill, & round the corner ASAP. This is just a preview of what your's & your child's life will be like if you yoke yourself to this family. It's highly unlikely your potential in-laws will EVER be OK w/ you unless you jump every time they say frog. Your potential husband isn't loyal to you & you'll be alone. Run thru fire if necessary, but run. This marriage is doomed.
I sure as hell hope she didn't marry this guy, pregnant or not. He sounds like just as much of a monster as his mother is. It would be one of the biggest mistakes of her life if she went through it for the sake of the child.
So many red flags. If you go through with it start preparing for your divorce or being abused emotionally for sure.
First. Some momma's boy defend the wife/gf or fiancee. My son sometimes agrees with me as his gf does. And sometimes they don't. That's ok. All because he's a momma's boy doesn't mean they're told what to do. Some I agree they're controlled by their mothers. I'm just saying not all. He agrees with me when he TRULY agrees. But this mother from this story could be controlling. Especially if he defends and agrees with his mother all the time. And telling his future bride that there's is not such things is yours and mine when it comes to her makeup.... yeah that's a problem. It's ok if it was suggested and she didn't like it and she picked the makeup but that's not what happened. And being told by the parents to get married makes me wonder how old they are. But still. I hope she didn't marry him. Especially when his future bride didn't like the makeup, what he said but didn't tell his mom to back off and argued with his fiancee instead of the mom. RED FLAG
Run sweetie don't do it , RED FLAGS CONTROL ISSUES FORREAL WILL ONLY GET WORSE TRUST ME
One thing I really love about my fiancee... When I am arguing with his mother, that means *we* are arguing with his mother 😍
Ig I'm the only one questioning how in the world she got pregnant with this guy. Kinda sus if you ask me.
Do you got a good divorce attorney standing by??? I can't believe your asking this question. To be honest, I'm not to sure why your even thinking about this. The only question that you should be asking, is not to us, but to him. And it should be this, "do you plan on supporting the baby as a Father, and not my husband?" Sincerely, get out, don't do it, find your own way, there are plenty of good guys out there with mothers who support a healthy marriage, not controlling it, but loving you the way you are, not what they expect you to be. Good luck. And please, get out of this relationship. 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏please.
I’ve witnessed the “you’re to immature to understand “ and falling to what his “Mom” said before in my best friend growing up and her Longtime boyfriend and now EX-husband. Don’t wait 10 years and two kids later! Get out NOW
"There's no mine or yours in marriage" because it all belongs to mom. Too immature for marriage? Let's not get married until both ready for it and be a proper partnership, not mommy's puppets.
omg! as soon as mil posted herself as the 'supervisor' the red flag should have been raised but not waved as i get that the mother of the groom is often left out of the planning process. at that time, i would have discussed w/fiance' that i would accept her 'suggestions' but final decision would have been mine. as for the make up issue - fiance's comment of 'there's no mine or yours' in marriage is code talk for 'it's my way or the highway'. if i were this woman, regardless of pregnancy, would postpone any wedding until it was established marriage is a partnership not a dictatorship. i foresee a lot of conflict in the future - especially with a grandchild coming into the picture.
Oh lordy, red flags galore. But also, my eyeshadow for my wedding day was rainbow colors so this woman would've had a stroke lol. But this guy is a fool.
"Conservative" or just TAHs? Their whole family will act like jerks if her face doesn't turn them on at her wedding...or they want plain to make sure she doesn't turn them on? Creepy sexual predator behavior. & that shows their moral superiority? Or shows they can only keep from acting evil if females outside their religion (or cult) are forced to make themselves ugly? Or they're being evil anyway and hiding it? Or they enjoy evil acts more when they get to make their victims unattractive first? & they worry the family will think she is bad because their little angel got her pregnant while having premarital sex? I assume she was living within her own morals. He consciously chose to do what he supposedly believes is wrong. Not aware of a religion that offers heaven for controlling people not in the religion while not controlling themselves. Lots of men who act like they're God's boss say it, but not doctrine that I'm aware of.
First, the MIL has no business " supervising" the wedding. Not her place. Fiance needs to grow a pair and stop being a mamas boy. So many red flags. This is a prelude to what the marriage will be like, everything will be decided by MIL. RUN girl and don't look back! Leave both in the rear view mirror and find a man who respects you, because this nimrod doesn't. Good luck my dear.
You have a choice here. You can marry this limp noodle of a boy-man and in a sense, be married to his mother as well. Or.... you can call off this fiasco-in-the-making and live a much happier life without both of them. He's never gonna disagree with Mama: you can take that to the bank. Ask yourself if this is what you want for a lifestyle.
I'm usually the last to say "throw away the man" over one problem, but in this case, throw him far far away as fast as possible. Throw him far and run even farther in the opposite direction. Trust me, marrying a MIL is the worst!
Well, to the Bride. My thoughts are as follows. As his parents are very conservative they must be well known and can't afford to have their Posh name run through the mud. So give the M.I.L & so called future Husband a choice. I choose what i wear, wedding dress & makeup, OR there will be NO marraige, you will only get to see your child, Grandchild by court ordered visitation. Plus you will end up paying maintainance. How long do you think that will stay quiet for.?? How will your POSH name stand in the public eye then. Tell your interfering M.I.L to keep her unwanted nose out of your wedding plans. Tell your Future Husband, if you still marry him, to grow a pair and tell his Mother to back the hell off. You must put yourself & your unborn child ahead of what could be a very one sided marraige. This is also proving how much your BF DOESN'T LOVE YOU. The apron strings from Mother to Son, haven't been cut yet. As much as it may hurt you, put you and your child first.
Please don’t marry him, you are young and you can find a man who will love you and you baby, who will put you first and treat you and the baby like queen. Also don’t put your baby through the life you will have with that man. There will be plenty of fights your child will witness. If than you decide to get a divorce that will add stress on your child. Children tend to blame themselves. Right now, you have a choice to marry him and put yourself and you child through hell or run and don’t look back. You’re going to have a baby, and she should be first in making the right choice. He won’t be a good father either.
Scrape the jesus freak cultist off immediately. You marry this a*****e, you're marrying the whole twisted family. For the love of the gods, do not breed with him.
I find it interesting that she states they are very conservative. That kind thinking would include sex before marriage. Since she's pregnant, he clearly wasn't interested in being conservative or doing what mommy would approve in that situation. Clearly a hypocrite and a setup for difficult marriage at best. Red Flags all over this.
If you really don't see a way to avoid marrying, perhaps you can hold the wedding hostage to a prenuptial agreement. Put In how much support you would get in the event of a divorce, the fact that your mother in law must not live with you or come overunannounced/unapproved, that each party to the marriage maintains separate identities, that you get custody in the event the marriage dissolves, and whatever else is important to you. Once you've married him you will lose the leverage. And for heaven's sake, get a college degree if you don't have one and get some work experience. You need to be able to support yourself.
I got married at 19, at the insistence of BOTH our moms, because I was pregnant. I was divorced 3 years later. Marrying ONLY because you're pregnant is a TERRIBLE idea. RUN GIRL, RUN!
Bride gets final say in everything wedding related. Groom can make suggestions. All other must wait to be asked. Groom must agree with this or break up. That's it.
Please…RUN as fast as you can. YOU will be the 3rd person in this marriage. Your fiancé is a first class mommy’s boy and always will be. They don’t change. You will have no voice in this marriage. Is that what you want? Don’t you think you deserve better? Run now or divorce later, unless you are spineless and don’t want to cause waves. Way too many red flags. BTW: mom is not ‘conservative’. She is controlling. Big difference.
This is a red flag. Just run, don't walk, run as fast as you can away from him. A pregnancy isn't an excuse to get married. It gets even worst when he says "there is no such thing as mine or yours in marriage", this isn't a marriage. It's a circus and the mother is the ring leader.
I was forced to wear heavy jewelry till a week even after the marriage ended. All bcz my mil wanted to show her richness and luxury. And the joke is my husband did not like it and yet she did not care. If u hv a chance to break the marriage, plz do bcz believe me when I say u and ur husband will live more with ur mil than with each other. She will be literally and totally in ur life but ur husband won't be there. I started living life only after my mil died. So imagine ur plight!
61
78