“[Am I The Jerk] For How I Handled My Brother’s Girlfriend Trying To Force Me To Babysit?”

They say family is all about love, support, and showing up when it matters. But let’s be honest—sometimes, it’s more about unsolicited advice, pretending you didn’t see that group chat message, and dealing with relatives who think “no” is just a soft suggestion.

Because, in some families, there’s at least one person who treats everyone else like their personal problem-solving service. Just ask our Redditor, as she found herself in the middle of a childcare debacle when her brother’s girlfriend pulled the ultimate “surprise babysitting” move on her, and let’s just say—it did not go over well.

More info: Reddit

Some parents plan babysitting in advance, while others just disappear and hope you don’t notice the kid at your door

A woman and man happily play with a young child in a bright room, symbolizing family togetherness.

Image credits: Kaboompics.com / Pexels (not the actual photo)

One woman threatens to call the police on her brother’s girlfriend after she drops her kid at her house, despite being told in advance she won’t babysit for her

Text about woman considering police call after bro’s GF leaves child without permission.

Text conversation about seeing family in the city and suburbs, highlighting infrequent visits to Lexi and Bella.

Text exchange about unplanned babysitting due to teacher strike. Woman declines to babysit for brother's girlfriend's child.

Woman standing outside in a gray blazer, looking at her phone with concern, representing permission issues.

Image credits: MART PRODUCTION / Pexels (not the actual photo)

The brother’s girlfriend asks his sister in advance if she can watch her 5-year-old daughter one day but is refused, so she leaves the kid at her house anyway

Text recounts a woman almost calling police after brother's girlfriend drops kid at her house without permission.

Text of a woman threatening to call the police after a friend's GF left her child at her house without permission.

Text describing a heated argument about child abandonment and police involvement in a family setting.

Woman discussing with another person in a kitchen, addressing an unexpected situation involving a brother's girlfriend.

Image credits: Liza Summer / Pexels (not the actual photo)

The woman tries to call the kid’s mom to pick her daughter up, but she declines the calls each time

Text recounting a woman upset over her brother's girlfriend leaving her child at her house without permission.

Text conversation about a woman posting cryptic messages regarding motherhood challenges and feeling unsupported.

Discussion about family disagreement over a woman leaving her kid without permission.

Image credits: anon

The woman sends her brother’s girlfriend a text, threatening to call the police for child abandonment if she doesn’t pick her daughter up in a few minutes

The OP (original poster) was in the middle of a self-care moment, enjoying some much-needed relaxation at home—when suddenly, her cleaner informed her that someone had just dropped a child off at the door. And not just any child, but her brother’s girlfriend’s (Lexi’s) 5-year-old daughter, whom she barely sees once every couple of months.

Apparently, in Lexi’s world, “I won’t babysit your kid” means dropping the kid off anyway and hoping for the best. Because the OP was very clear about not watching her kid when Lexi asked. When the OP realized what had happened, she called Lexi. Over, and over, and over again. But Lexi? Oh, she was deep in ignore mode, pretending she didn’t just ditch her child.

So, the OP sent a text with the magical words: “Come get your kid in 15 minutes, or I’m calling the police for child abandonment.” Harsh? Definitely. Deserved? Probably. Effective? Absolutely. Because, suddenly, Lexi’s phone worked again! She came storming back into the house, furious, calling the OP and her husband “evil” for telling her boyfriend what happened and threatening police involvement.

The OP tried to keep the conversation private to avoid the 5-year-old witnessing the meltdown, but Lexi wasn’t having it. She started playing the victim, throwing out every excuse in the book—she was desperate, she never gets a break, and she needed this social time. And after the incident, Lexi took to social media, dropping cryptic posts about how hard it is to be a mother when “people you expect to be there for you” abandon you.

Now, the OP’s family is split; Mom is firmly on her side, while Dad wonders if it was really worth upsetting the kid when she was already there. Dad, that’s not the point! Brother Matt acknowledges Lexi was in the wrong but thinks the OP and her husband should have just rolled with it and fought about it later. Easy to say when you aren’t the one ambushed by an overly-entitled mom.

Woman conversing with a couple and a child in a living room, discussing an unexpected visit.

Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

Entitled people have a special kind of confidence—one that lets them believe their wants are everyone else’s problem and think they deserve more than others. When someone grows up getting everything handed to them, they might have a hard time understanding the concept of earning things. In other cases, entitlement is used as a coping mechanism for life’s “unfairness” or as a way of compensating for low self-esteem.

The key to dealing with them? Consistency. You give them an inch, and suddenly, you’re the family babysitter, ATM, and crisis hotline all rolled into one. Set firm boundaries, repeat yourself like a broken record, and, most importantly, don’t feel guilty for saying no. They’ll argue, act shocked, and guilt-trip, but that’s just the soundtrack of someone realizing they can’t steamroll you anymore.

Guilt-tripping is the sneaky cousin of manipulation. It’s when someone tries to make you feel bad for having boundaries, usually by playing the “but faaaamily” card or making themselves the tragic hero of their own sob story. The trick? Recognize it for what it is—emotional manipulation.

Stay firm, don’t over-explain, and resist the urge to apologize for simply existing as an independent person. If they hit you with, “I just thought you’d care,” a simple “I do, but not in the way you want me to” will leave them scrambling for their next tactic.

So, was the OP in the wrong? Well, forced caregiving is never okay, and consent applies to all relationships—including family. No one is obligated to provide childcare just because they’re related to someone.

What do you think? Should the poster have kept the kid for the day, or was she right to call her mom to pick her up? Share your thoughts below!

Netizens side with the woman, saying she is not the jerk in the story, as she specifically told her brother’s girlfriend she wouldn’t babysit her kid

Reddit comment about a woman considering police call over her brother's girlfriend's actions.

User comment on unexpected child drop-off without permission, discussing abandonment concerns.

Comment discussing a woman almost calling police after brother's girlfriend left her kid without permission.

Reddit comment criticizing a woman's behavior for leaving her child without permission.

Comment about a woman's decision related to her brother's girlfriend leaving her child without permission.

User comment discussing boundaries after a woman almost calls police on her brother's girlfriend.

Text comment expressing disapproval of Lexi's actions regarding dumping a child without permission, suggesting to block her.

Text exchange discussing babysitting disagreement and responsibility.

Text screenshot discussing unauthorized babysitting and response.

Reddit comment discussing a kid being left without permission, emphasizing boundaries and saying "NTA".

Reddit comment discussing the situation of a woman considering calling police on brother's girlfriend for leaving her child.

Reddit comment reacting to a woman considering calling police after bro's GF left her kid without permission.

Reddit comment discussing a woman being upset about a kid being left at her house without permission.

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