Parent Refuses To Entertain Daughter’s Morning Tantrum, Sends Her To School In PJs
Interview
Parenting is full of making tough choices. As much as it may hurt your child’s feelings, you can’t allow them to eat ice cream every single day. And no matter how hard they cry, it’s important for them to take showers and maintain their personal hygiene.
But parents also have to remember to choose their battles. Not everything is worth having a fight over or triggering a tantrum. So when one parent realized that the easiest way to get their daughter to school was to simply let her wear her pajamas, they obliged. Now, however, they’re wondering if that was the right move. Below, you’ll find the full story that they recently shared on Reddit, as well as a conversation between the parent and Bored Panda.
Parents often have to remember to choose their battles
Image credits: Mikhail Nilov (not the actual photo)
So when this parent realized the easiest way to get their daughter to school was to let her wear pajamas, they decided it was an opportunity to teach a lesson
Image credits: sergign (not the actual photo)
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Apprehensive-Sea6012
Later, the parent clarified that their daughter picks out her own clothes
“I think it’s safe to say she learned a valuable lesson from the experience”
Image credits: August de Richelieu (not the actual photo)
To learn more about this situation, we reached out to the parent who shared this story online, Reddit user Apprehensive-Sea6012, and lucky for us, they were kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda. Thankfully, the OP shared that things have definitely improved in their household since they made this post.
“I had a conversation with my wife about it after she had cooled off a bit, and she was eventually able to see where I was coming from and she isn’t as upset about it anymore,” Apprehensive-Sea6012 says. “I haven’t heard specifically from Elsie’s teacher, and I honestly didn’t hear much from Elsie about how they day went, but I can say that the morning routine has become a lot smoother.”
The parent also noted that reading the comments on their post was pretty interesting. “A lot of people seemed to agree with my approach which I was relieved about, but there were also quite a few people who had other opinions, some of which I didn’t necessarily agree with,” they noted. “But it was insightful reading people’s different perspectives. And Elsie has definitely been more cooperative with getting dressed in the morning, so I think it’s safe to say she learned a valuable lesson from the experience.”
Getting children dressed and ready for school is a struggle for many parents
If you’re a parent of a young child, chances are you’re very familiar with the struggle of getting them up and at ‘em, dressed appropriately, to eat a decent breakfast and to be out the door in time to not be late for school. Despite the fact that this happens five times a week, it can be incredibly challenging for both children and parents.
In fact, while many moms and dads look forward to school starting so they can work in peace without worrying about childcare, research has found that three quarters of parents actually dread getting back into the school routine every autumn. According to a 2023 study, it takes an average of 43 minutes for kids between the ages of 6 to 16 to get up, get ready and get on their way each morning.
Over a quarter of parents polled admitted that their kids are often late for school, and 27% say they struggle to get their little ones into their uniforms. An average of 139 hours per year are spent getting kids ready for school, and over one third of parents have trouble even getting their kiddos out of bed in time. Nearly a third of moms and dads have to convince kids to brush their teeth, and 32% consider it a chore trying to get their little ones to eat breakfast.
It’s best for parents to keep their cool when dealing with morning tantrums
Image credits: Yan Krukau (not the actual photo)
The parent who shared this story on Reddit certainly isn’t the first to have a hard time getting his daughter into school-appropriate clothes each morning. But according to occupational therapist Kim Barthel, this behavior, while frustrating, is perfectly normal. Particularly for toddlers, being assertive about what they want to wear is “all about individuation and developing their own sense of self,” Barthel told Today’s Parent.
But it’s important for parents to listen to their children’s concerns and find out if there’s actually an issue with the clothing or if their little ones are simply being headstrong. Some kids may have sensory processing issues, for example, and certain articles of clothing may hurt them or annoy them to the point of distraction. Meanwhile, other kids might just have to grow out of the phase of refusing to get dressed.
Regardless of the situation, Barthel recommends that parents keep calm and try not to become frustrated with their little ones’ actions. “If you get irritated by your child’s behavior, you’ll exacerbate it,” she notes. “Soothe and support. Don’t see it as a fight but as a need for structure and consistency.”
Wearing comfortable clothing is ideal for learning and working
Image credits: Arthur Krijgsman (not the actual photo)
The idea of wearing pajamas to school might make some parents raise their eyebrows, and admittedly, it’s probably not the best choice for every single day. But wearing something comfortable can actually be a great choice for school or work.
Mother and manager of a popular children’s boutique, Hayley Smith, shared with the Leafy Chronicle that many parents make the mistake of buying adorable clothes that end up being itchy or scratchy and can distract from their kids’ learning. “Making sure your kids are comfy is the best way to make sure that they get to spend their day doing their thing and making great school memories,” Smith says.
Adults might even be able to learn a lesson from kiddos who refuse to get out of their pajamas so as to not sacrifice their comfort. According to Vintti, relaxed dress codes can even make employees more productive in accounting firms (and presumably in all other office environments). Casual dress codes can increase comfort, boost morale, reduce stress, increase creativity and even boost employee retention.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this story in the comments below, pandas. Would you have let your child go to school in pajamas one time? Feel free to share, and then if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda article discussing a parenting dilemma, look no further than right here!
Readers assured the parent that they didn’t do anything wrong, noting that their daughter likely learned a hard lesson
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That's what gentle parenting is meant to be! This is real gentle parenting! Not punishing bad behaviour, but letting kids feel the negative consequences of their decision. He clearly told her what would happen if she made this decision, and then saw it through. The negative emotions she felt are neccessary in this. The only step missing is talking that through with her so she understands that her parents usually tell her to do something for a reason so the next power struggle goes smoother. They also should now talk to her and ask her why she did it to help her understand herself better and teach her how to think things through. And yes, they should try to find out if there might be a deeper reason why she doesn't want to go to school. But I disagree with the people who want OP to make everything fun or mitigate the impact by turning around. The idea is to teach her that she can avoid such situations by making better decisions. That's not happening by saving her last minute.
Yes! And this is how kids learn that they have to deal with the consequences of their actions. I have a friend whose daughter, when she was around the same age, insisted on playing outside in the winter without a coat ( it wasn’t below freezing). My friend let her and the daughter was back inside getting her coat within 10 minutes. From then on, she understood *why* she needed a coat, not just *that* she needed a coat.
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Is she awake, fed, and at school? Yes? Then that's a successful morning. Whether she's in PJs or "properly" dressed, doesn't matter.
The kid is 7 years old. Based on "throwing a tantrum every morning" I thought the kid was like 3. Maybe there's some underlying thing going on with the kid and/or the family...? But I think a relatively harmless lesson that was just a little embarrassing and will soon be forgotten by the other kids was an appropriate lesson about consequences.
I think there's definitely more going on here. The real question is why they don't want to go to school especially at 7.
Load More Replies...
That's what gentle parenting is meant to be! This is real gentle parenting! Not punishing bad behaviour, but letting kids feel the negative consequences of their decision. He clearly told her what would happen if she made this decision, and then saw it through. The negative emotions she felt are neccessary in this. The only step missing is talking that through with her so she understands that her parents usually tell her to do something for a reason so the next power struggle goes smoother. They also should now talk to her and ask her why she did it to help her understand herself better and teach her how to think things through. And yes, they should try to find out if there might be a deeper reason why she doesn't want to go to school. But I disagree with the people who want OP to make everything fun or mitigate the impact by turning around. The idea is to teach her that she can avoid such situations by making better decisions. That's not happening by saving her last minute.
Yes! And this is how kids learn that they have to deal with the consequences of their actions. I have a friend whose daughter, when she was around the same age, insisted on playing outside in the winter without a coat ( it wasn’t below freezing). My friend let her and the daughter was back inside getting her coat within 10 minutes. From then on, she understood *why* she needed a coat, not just *that* she needed a coat.
Load More Replies... Is she awake, fed, and at school? Yes? Then that's a successful morning. Whether she's in PJs or "properly" dressed, doesn't matter.
The kid is 7 years old. Based on "throwing a tantrum every morning" I thought the kid was like 3. Maybe there's some underlying thing going on with the kid and/or the family...? But I think a relatively harmless lesson that was just a little embarrassing and will soon be forgotten by the other kids was an appropriate lesson about consequences.
I think there's definitely more going on here. The real question is why they don't want to go to school especially at 7.
Load More Replies...
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