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“AITA For Kicking A Server Out Of My Wedding?”
69points
2.5K
Occasions, People2 months ago

“AITA For Kicking A Server Out Of My Wedding?”

Imagine that today is your wedding day, and it promises to be one of the most important and happiest days of your entire life. The guests have already arrived, your groom is almost shining looking at you, and everything is ready for a delightful ceremony.

Well, now let’s continue our thought experiment. What can darken the mood of the bride on such a beautiful day, so much that it’s all she can think about? Any important issues? Health problems? Worried about her guests enjoying everything? No, none of that! In fact, all the thoughts of the bride will be occupied by one of the servers at the wedding!

Don’t believe it? Then here’s the story, first shared on the AITA Reddit community a few days ago, with nearly 18.3K upvotes and over 1.5K comments, both angry and sarcastic. Moreover, the bride herself was the author of the original post!

More info: Reddit

The Original Poster wanted to be the only star of her big day so she asked everybody to wear minimal makeup

Image credits: Dave Jimison (not the actual image)

So, the Original Poster arranged her wedding, invited guests, ordered catering from the best company – and everything should have been almost perfect, if the woman’s mood had not been overshadowed by one detail. It may seem insignificant to you and us, but the bride was literally upset.

Image credits: u/Present-Ad-3934

The thing is that the woman wanted to emphasize her role as the main star of the day, so she asked all her female guests in advance to wear minimal makeup, and all employees of the catering company who would have to work at the wedding just to wear a kind of a strict uniform.

Image credits: u/Present-Ad-3934

One of the servers, a 19 Y.O. girl, looked too flashy, according to the bride

Everyone obeyed the request but one of the servers, as it seemed to her, looked “too flashy”. The girl, about 19 years old, had clearly too much eyeliner, according to the OP. In addition, the bride was outraged that the girl had diamond studs in her ears, a flashy ring, and one of those nose studs. And finally, the server’s shirt seemed too low-cut, while her pants looked far too tight.

Image credits: William J Sisti (not the actual image)

In general, the bride, for some reason, decided that the server wanted to outshine her. She, around which the whole wedding party should revolve! No, it was literally unbearable! At first, the bride demanded to the boss of the catering company that he simply remove the girl to the back of the house. The boss said that it would be difficult because then there would not be enough staff, but they tried to do it.

Image credits: u/Present-Ad-3934

How indignant the bride was when, after some time, she saw the same server again! She once more called her boss and demanded that the girl just go home. The boss again complained about the lack of staff, but promised to come up with something. But when the guests moved to the bar counter, the OP saw the girl who so annoyed her for the third time!

Image credits: u/Present-Ad-3934

The OP ended up threatening to call the cops if the server did not go home at once

Then she simply approached the boss and stated that if the girl did not leave the building in a matter of minutes, she would immediately call the police. So finally the server was sent home.

True, the OP’s husband and mother-in-law said she was acting crazy, and that the poor college kid was now likely to be fired for literally nothing. And only the bride’s mother fully supported her daughter, saying that on the day of her own wedding, she has the right to do whatever she wants.

Image credits: Brent Miller (not the actual image)

The OP probably had some self-doubts associated with her own appearance

Bored Panda reached out to Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, to comment on this situation. “It is likely that the bride has some psychological complexes associated with her appearance, or self-doubt,” Irina comments. “It is also possible that she was so worried before the wedding that literally such a trifle caused her some version of a meltdown.”

“Of course, it was not worth calling the police, and in any case, no matter how spectacular the server looked, the bride is still the main star of her special day, and she clearly did not need to worry about it. Probably, this woman should visit a psychoanalyst to sort out reasons for such a reaction to a seemingly mundane situation. This should definitely help her in the future,” notes Irina Matveeva.

People in the comments simply told the OP to stop acting like the Evil Queen

We must say that many people in the comments to the original post were not as delicate towards the bride as our expert. Firstly, commenters do not believe that the server will be fired at all – most likely, the company staff will simply laugh at this incident. Secondly, people are upset that the bride, instead of being happy that day, ruined everything herself by obsessing over a college-aged server.

The commenters try to focus the OP’s attention on the fact that this was a server who was just doing her job, and that’s generally the last thing a bride should think about on her wedding day. She obviously needed to dance, laugh, enjoy everything – and not pretend to be the Evil Queen, like “Who is the fairest in all the land?”

By the way, we have lots of of various wedding tales, so if you’re interested in this topic, we can suggest, for example, this post of ours about a cousin who was not invited to the wedding, and she decided not to send a gift in return. And, as always, we highly welcome your comments under this post.

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Rose the Cook
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What is with this "nobody is allowed to be more attractive than me" at weddings these days? If the bride is so insecure or the groom is so easily seduced they should not be getting married.

Honu
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If I had needed to be the prettiest at my wedding, I would've had to disinvite my sisters and my female cousins. I wasn't a bad looking young woman or anything, but I've got a lot of stunners in my family. I was never going to be the prettiest girl in the room. I'm glad I got over that young, because we're old now and some of them that were used to being the prettiest took quite a psychological hit when the inevitable happened.

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James016
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The fact the bride threatened to call the cops is very telling.

Amy S
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Right? And tell them what? That a woman is doing her job, come quick?!

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Anonymous
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love the first reply that the catering company would get it right next time. Savage!

Trillian
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Anyone else tired of insecure brides who all but ask everyone around her to wear a bag over their heads so that they can "stand out"?

Beth
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't know, I'm kind of glad people show their character and behave like this. It allows me to see exactly who I don't want to be involved with. When people show you who they are, believe them kind of thing.

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Tamra
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, she was already the a*****e when she said guests were told to wear dark colors and minimal makeup. GTFO with that nonsense.

Fussy1
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thankfully when the server goes home at the end of the night, she can wash away the make up and change her clothes. But that pitiful bride will still be just as spiteful and nasty in the morning. Which is 'a look' that doesn't look good on anyone. To Server Girl, keep on being you!

tabitha knipp
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Man that catering company is still laughing at this psycho

CL Rowan
Community Member
2 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not the poor kid that b!tch threw out.

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Katie Lutesinger
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good grief, I've seen wicked stepmothers in fairytales who were less vain and jealous than this hag.

Amy Taylor
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm in my 50's now and have friends like this. They get so crazy when cute young girls are around their men. They get all these procedures done to compete with girls half their age. We already had our time being young and cute...let them have theirs!! Nothing wrong if you want to get things done and it makes you happy, but to be jealous to the point of dictating what people wear and how they do their makeup?? You need help.

Impetus
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Bride was 25. This isn't a midlife crisis, she's just obnoxious.

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Wood Carver
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I an sorry but I personally don't understand why anyone believes they get to do more than provide "suggested attire". Where did this no blondes no hair beyond shoulder length, no people with left handedness no children adults pets or birds, if you have blue eyes you must wear contacts because we have brown and don't want you being the center of attention, all guests required to bring their own falcon, food not included invites came from. But I at least have a rule. If you tell me and my spouse, adults, we aren't allowed to dress ourselves because it's your special day and you have outfits, I at least will not be attending. I own 1 suit, That is what I'm wearing. I can't afford to buy a purple suit for you sorry.

Mario Strada
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The moment I read "My dream catering company" I knew this was going to be a shitshow. Who has a "dream catering company"? It's like having a "dream tire and alignment garage".

Krissy G.
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It was that moment for me too. 🤦🏻‍♀️

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WonderWoman
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They told their guests to dress in dark colors so they could stand out??? AYFKM Where did this mentality come from that the bride and groom are supposed to be the center of attention and they can dictate to others?

MoMcB
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yep, if I'm buying clothes for your wedding, it'll be something I want to wear

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Lisa H
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It sounds like the boss was just telling the bridezilla what she wanted to hear and then rolled her eyes as she walked away. Basically, the bride is mad at this server for existing and doing her job like the rest of the staff. I'll bet the bride is an HOA board member who calls the cops on children.

Hey!
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I actually married twice and never noticed anyone but who was talking to me at that moment. Everything else was in the background. But most of all my husband, especially the second one. She needs therapy and her husband needs to get away from her. The mother wasn't better. They both acted entitled.

Beth
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Holly, think before you speak. That was unnecessary and you assuming such things is ridiculous.

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anarkzie
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would love to have been working as the emergency service switch board operator when she called for the police. "Hello I need the police there's an attractive woman at my wedding serving drinks".

Vanja Vidovic
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"I want her to disappear!" She would sound like that crazy queen from Alice in Wonderland.

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IamMe
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

First of all, there's no way the server got fired over this craziness. Second, I hope her husband got an annulment, because if that's how she acts on her actual wedding, how jealous is she normally?

Sarah Kathrin Matsoukis
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm insecure af myself but holy sh*t...not like that

Deborah B
Community Member
2 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What, you don't like your server to wear jewelery or make up? So you threatened her paycheck by asking for her to be sent home, and then threatened to call the police? You're totally the AH, Karen. Sympathies to the groom. Edit: Also sympathies to all service staff who have to deal with your BS.

Honu
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's not unusual for waitstaff uniform requirements to forbid stuff like that lady's jewelry. The idea is that the waitstaff should be subtle and not draw a lot of attention. If I saw a server in that kind of flashy jewelry, I'd notice. It's not impeccably professional. I wouldn't complain or anything. I'd simply notice it with a mild bit of surprise and then my mind would move on to other things that might actually matter. And I regard myself as being a pretty judgy person. I think this lady was mostly angry because the server was a pretty young lady.

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LH25
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow. Yes, YTA. There is always going to be someone prettier than you out there. I agree with the comments about it being pretty sad she couldn't focus on getting married she is so insecure. And calling the cops?!

Gene Perry
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I kind-a wish this b**ch would have called the cops. Imagine the cops showing up & being asked to arrest nose-ring girl! Imagine the cop's reaction! What a sight that would be.

BluEyedSeoulite
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I guess the cops arriving would have DEFINITELY made her wedding memorable for everyone

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Pamela Blue
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At her own wedding, her new husband and mother-in-law told her she was being crazy. Her OWN mother told her it was her wedding and she can do what she pleases. I truly think that the groom should have paid more attention to his MIL-to-be before he married. It seems that the little acorn didn't fall far from the tree.

KK
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A huge, huge YTA. I work in catering services and I have helped with weddings on a few occasions. There is already SO MUCH going on behind-the-scenes on our end and we put A LOT of effort into making sure everything goes right. I feel bad for the server, honestly.

S
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a pretty good feeling that server didn't get fired because everyone with an ounce of humanity to knows the bride was just being an insecure b***h. They probably just said, "take the rest of the night off so this woman will quit complaining and we can get this night over with"

ariana
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

what exactly would she tell the police?

Lou Cam
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Shed probably make something up that would get the poor server arrested.

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PSimms
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This woman will be divorced within five years.

Pittsburgh rare
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

More like 5 months. That number must have been an eye opener for the husband

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Rachel Ainsworth
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The bride disriminated against a woman doing her job because of the way she looks. I hope karma bites her in the a**e.

Cody Hill
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don't worry it probably will either the husband eventually gets tired of her and leaves her or he gets tired of her and cheats on her.

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Krisette Hawn
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow jealous much? YTA completely. You ruined your day with your own self absorbed insecurities. No one else probably even noticed her. You need help.

SuePrew
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wonder what she would have told the cops. "Arrest her, she's prettier than me!" ??

Krissy G.
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is what got me too, like what are you claiming is the actual crime or emergency here? The poor girl who has the audacity to exist and show up for work that day must be stopped! 🤣

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Bart
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

- 911 how can I help you? - help me, there is a woman with tight pants and a nose piercing serving me! It would be funny if it wasn't this sad. I hope she finds help...

Sergio Bicerra
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"911 here, is she using her piercing in the right or left nostril? Please woman, answer quick, people's lifes are at risk right now! S.W.A.T and Delta Force are on therir way!"

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TheDivineMsM
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some brides take the "it's all about me" attitude to a whole nother level.

Phryne
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm pretty sure that no one else really noticed the server until the bride started throwing a fit and drew attention to the server. But, hey! The bride got a bonus from ruining her own wedding: she now gets to be bashed on reddit/bored panda! And it's self-induced again, too...

mm65851
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is this even real? A bride would take time away from the reception THREE times to complain about a server? Who sounded pretty normally dressed, to me. Not like she was in full clown makeup and costume, or something. And call the cops? For what???

Krissy G.
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She was fixated on this girl for whatever reason. I can't imagine taking time away from my guests once over nonsense like this, let alone three times!

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Konpat
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was outshining everyone else at my wedding. Because I was over the moon happy and in love with my husband. It was an amazing day, and I start glowing just thinking back. My guests were allowed to wear whatever they wanted to. I couldn't have cared less about their looks, because all I could think about was the marriage. OP is sick with jealousy and probably radiating ugliness because of that.

Krissy G.
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because that's how it SHOULD be. The love is supposed to outshine everything else on that day. The minute she said her dream catering company I knew she was gonna be a bridezilla and this story was gonna be gross. Its all about the show she wanted to put on for others that day. Love played no part in this day it would seem. Sad but true.

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Sinkvenice
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That woman needs professional help asap, that kind of reaction is highly abnormal. I really hope she isn't like that all the time, otherwise her husband is going to be miserable. I don't understand the part about the guests forced to wear dark colours do the bride and groom "stand out". It's their wedding, everyone is there specifically for them, I guarantee nobody thought a server was upstaging the bride. Had they actually been called, what on earth would she have said to the police?? "There's a server at my wedding who's wearing too much eyeliner and jewellery. She's too distracting, arrest her!" :-D

moi
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

yikes, what a pyscho

Argle Bargle
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If I was her husband I'd already be looking into the anullment.

Vladimíra Matejová
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

you must have had a really shitty dress, hair style and make up if a server in a uniform and her regular make up could out shine you at your wedding day. and btw guests wearing dark colors...isnt this a vit more like a funeral than a wedding?

Kai
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ugh I will be skipping all further AITA bride stories...the answer always seems to yes

S
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've literally never heard of a bride telling her guests what amount of makeup to wear... that's absolutely insane to me. I understand having a dress code and having your bridesmaids follow a softer makeup look for pictures sake or whatever but guests...? That's doing too much. She could have asked the server to take off her earrings but even that seems so out of touch to me.

Pittsburgh rare
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh, there are many bridezillas that tell their bridesmaids/guest what make up to wear. This is the first time l see one going after a server tho

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Krissy G.
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm so glad everyone already told her what I was thinking. Uuuugh. I'm half tempted to go find the original thread and see if she has any further commentary trying to justify this gross behavior. I would've declined my invitation the moment I'm told how much makeup I can and can't wear. Wedding culture has gotten so out of control, and it's people like her mother and MOH that fuel it by telling her what she wants to hear instead of the actual truth. Being a bride does not give you free reign to terrorize people and become a monster. 😒

Jen
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would have gone if I was closer to the groom, but I would have worn neon pink and the most dramatic colorful make up I could manage - full on stage make up but with regular make up and toned down blush to look good up close and not kill my skin like pancake make up does.

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Ru Bee
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow this woman has some serious issues.

Ken Miller
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That marriage won't last 5 years.

Bobbi McGough Robert
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm sure the police we thrilled to be called because a server was outshining a bride. At least in the bride's limited imagination. The police should have arrested the bride for wasting their time! Now that would be a reception to remember!

Krissy G.
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would love to see it become one of those cases where they issued the bride a ticket and bill for using emergency services without having an actual emergency.

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Melissa Hollowell
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wish a B would call the police. And then spend her wedding night in lock up for abuse of emergency services.

Penny Kemper
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You're the A-hole. Tells people how to dress at their wedding, controlling a-holes that's who

Lory Jones
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Are you the A? Way beyond that. While you're getting mental health therapy, please do not breed.

Esgain Erin
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OMG... What an horrible person this bride seems to be. I hope the groom figures it out before having kids with her.

Kathrin
Community Member
2 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

calling the cops? i think they will take the bride instead cause of calling them over bullshet

Jods
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m glad I’m no relation of hers. Even if I was related to her, if she had tried this c**p out if I had been there she would have a magnificently black eye to make her really stand out.

Pittsburgh rare
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I worked at weddings to pay for uni eons ago, when brides weren't as unhinged as they are now, and even then witnessed some pretty nasty bridezillas. So l'm beyond surprise at this point.

GoGoPDX
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How do people like this have friends and who the actual f**k would marry someone like this? The fact that her mother and MOH backed her up is appalling and they are totally enabling her entitlement and jealousy. This woman seriously needs to get a therapist and I really hope she does not have children any time soon.

Impetus
Community Member
2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Her family has got to be loaded. That would explain most of this story

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GemmaL
Community Member