Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app
Continue in app Continue in browser
BoredPanda Add Post

The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here.

Guy Illustrates How Boys Develop Sexism From Seemingly Small Interactions With Adults
418points
129.6K
Comics, Social Issues3 years ago

Guy Illustrates How Boys Develop Sexism From Seemingly Small Interactions With Adults

Parents, teachers, and other people around them play a large role in a kid’s life, socialization, and development. A lot of what happens in childhood can matter for a lifetime, so it’s really important that everybody involved try their best to raise a mindful human being. However, it’s easy to mess up. After all, nobody’s perfect. What matters is recognizing these parenting mistakes and improving. Recently, artist Damian Alexander created a comic pointing out one specific area that he thinks everybody should pay more attention to when raising kids. Boys adoring female role models.

More info: damianimated.comInstagram | Facebook | Twitter

And you couldn’t find a better person for the job. Damian grew up in a pretty artistic family and got a bachelor’s degree in Fine Art. Also, he experienced all of this first-hand. “Growing up, my favorite character was Matilda. She was so smart, and I related to her feeling out of place in her family,” Damian told Bored Panda. “The telekinesis thing was also really exciting for me. Then there’s Anne of Green Gables, Hermione from Harry Potter, Mary Poppins, Mulan, and so many more female heroes. I think it’s because girl characters tend to use creative problem solving instead of outright violence, and I found that a lot more engaging.”

His family never seemed to care much or take notice of it. “If I wanted a doll or something though, they’d direct me toward an action figure. They did it, complying with the social norms. Boys in my family would also turn up their nose if I wanted to play as Princess Peach in Super Smash Bros.”

And that’s the problem. Damian thinks that sexism, misogyny, homophobia, and gender bias are a huge part of why society thinks a boy shouldn’t look up to women. “A lot of men undervalue women and see them as less than. Probably because we have this toxic cycle of telling little boys they can’t admire women, and then having them grow up to disrespect women. A lot of parents also think if their son likes female superheroes, he’ll suddenly turn gay even though that’s not how that works at all.”

“Just let kids like what they like,” the artist said after being asked how society should break this gender role stigma. “If a little boy admires Elsa, just let him and don’t make a fuss about it. I’m so tired of seeing parents in the toy section direct their sons away from the doll aisle, saying, “Nope, that’s for girls!” Each time they’re planting the little seeds of misogyny in their kid’s head.”

After seeing Damian’s comic, people immediately started relating to it

Share on Facebook
Popular on Bored Panda
Leave a comment
Foxxy
Community Member
3 years ago (edited)

I saw a boy about 2 years old holding a pink my little pony ball. At the checkout the mum realised the design of ball he had and said “I’m not getting you a pink ball, any other colour would be better”. The little boy looked so upset coz he didn’t understand that people see toys and images as gender specific. My 5yo son loves cars, trucks, boats, fire trucks, getting dirty etc but he also loves having his nails painted, wearing a lil make up when myself or my daughter wear it etc. My 13yo daughter loves fashion and “girly” stuff but she loves getting dirty, riding bikes (she used to do BMX racing), playing rough etc. I don’t give a shit. I care about my kids happiness and if they are happy having opposite “gender” toys then so be it.

Danielle Renee
Community Member
3 years ago

you're raising happy, confident, well adjusted children...thank you! there need to be more parents like this.

Load More Replies...
Ivana
Community Member
3 years ago

Girls pick up on this as well. I avoided anything that could remotely be seen as feminine because I had equated femininity with inferiority. Femininity was frivolous and I wanted to be a hard-edged career woman. I was in my late 20s when it kind of hit me that I had been taught to loath part of my identity, my gender, a huge fucking part of who I am even though I was (and still am) a strong feminist. But my younger form of feminism was adapting masculine qualities because I wanted to be a powerful woman while avoiding pink like a color matters in the slightest. Now I accept that femininity and masculinity are bullshit, people are complex and have both traits and both traits have value. Compassion and leadership are both important and they are not exclusive on one or another gender.

2WheelTravlr
Community Member
3 years ago

This is so true. I ride motorcycles and worked in the motorsports industry, I always made a point of not dressing "girly" or wearing the kinds of riding gear that accentuated the fact that I was female. I'm so happy that the newest generation of female riders have amazing skills, no fear, and some dress like girls while others are more comfortable in guys gear. Things are slowly getting better, but they're still far from equal.

Load More Replies...
Aria Whitaker
Community Member
3 years ago

This is spot on and so, so sad. Even more sad: even after this clear-as-day explanation, there will STILL be those that will dismiss and deny this, so it probably wont be changing anytime soon. You can't change what you don't acknowledge.

Angela Yee
Community Member
3 years ago

Sadly true. But it does help a little to bring awareness, then at least some families change over time. Hopefully that eventually would make it improved in the future, even if it's pretty far off. (Sorry had a duplicate comment earlier)

Load More Replies...
Matt Palmer
Community Member
3 years ago

My son has a pink doll call baby, that HAS to go to bed with him. Sometimes a toy dinosaur joins the bed time cuddles. When asked what he wanted on his birthday cake (he is 4 in a couple of weeks) he said, Hulk, a dragon and a butterfly. I think that sums him up pretty well. I cannot understand people who are so insecure as to not allow their children to simply play.

Angela Yee
Community Member
3 years ago (edited)

I think that cake would be really cool actually. I have noticed as a young adult, that many males in my age group have started to rebel against the anti-cute things that they grew up with (especially in anime fandoms where it's normal for straight men to watch the "cutesy" anime, even though it's more perverted reasons). So I will see 20+ year old men who are more attracted to cute things in stores compared to when they were young boys who were taught not to like those cute things. I wonder if this could lead to more acceptance of things that were traditionally seen as "girly", if more adult men grew out of it by the time they are of age to be fathers. There is one manga (out of many) that is popular in Japan for its depiction of male character who enjoys "feminine" things, called Otomen. It has now become a pretty common theme in Japanese media, actually. I will watch Japanese TV series about fashion and see that there are now men who participate in even the "Kawaii fashion" trends today, and it isn't seen as badly as it used to be. I also noticed at anime conventions, it used to be rare, but now it is actually extremely common to see men and women "crossplay", dressing as characters of the opposite sex or gender of themselves, out of pure admiration for that character.

Load More Replies...
MsM
Community Member
3 years ago

I appreciate this story. I have 3 children, and my youngest is the only boy. Sometimes he would play with his sisters' "girl" toys. I never thought anything of it at all. One day my (since EX-) husband got angry and said "You're going to make our son gay!" I won't even start about how ridiculous that statement was. The point is, let kids be kids.

BusLady
Community Member
3 years ago

People told me that about my son who played with dolls. BTW, he is gay. But the toys didn't make him that way. Lol

Load More Replies...
Si
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

Emma Hunter
Community Member
3 years ago

In my experience when it comes to girls admiration is confused with attraction. Something in school we were asked who do you admire and all the girls would say guys like Brad Pitt.

Load More Replies...
Matt Atfield
Community Member
3 years ago

My son was running around with a toy pram and a baby in it. He and hia sister were playing "parents". He came home upset because the nieghbour told him dolls are for girls. Is he not supposed to learn how to be a dad? He also likes female hereos. He was teased at school because on pjama day he wore my little pony. I was so angry they didn't use this as a teaching moment for the kids ar school.

BusLady
Community Member
3 years ago

A missed opportunity there, for sure.

Load More Replies...
AnnaB
Community Member
3 years ago

There's a troll on this thread who's down-voting every comment that agrees with the author. I wonder how many down votes I'll get for writing this.

MsM
Community Member
3 years ago

The right-wing trolls always target stuff like this on BP. It's all they have left.... all thanks to their leader the Orange Anus, the GOP is crumbling. Downvote THIS! DO IT

Load More Replies...
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa)
Community Member
3 years ago

I definitely feel his pain on this. I connected early with video games that had female protagonists. Specifically an old Sierra title called "Laura BoW and the Dagger of Amon Ra". One of those adventure games about a murder mystery, but you play as a nosy news reporter who is also a woman. Kind of a Murder she wrote vibe I guess. I still love video games with female protagonists. Much more recently, "Life is Strange", blew my mind. That game made me cry way too much. So YAY for female protagonists. Can we please have more of that?

BusLady
Community Member
3 years ago

Years ago, my sons were playing video games at our house. One of the female characters had the stereotypical hourglass figure with the unrealistically huge breasts. One of the visiting boys made a sexist remark about her, and I got onto him, like don't say that in my house. He was only about 10 years old! And he was sexualising a character in the game.

Load More Replies...
Jolijn Njamin-Geurts van Kessel
Community Member
3 years ago

My 2.5 year old son loves Spiderman and Hulk, but he also loves Minnie and Daisy. Just let a kid like what the kid likes.

Kathy Baylis
Community Member
3 years ago

I love that young men are finally waking up to this. As a child (I’m 58 and female), male preference, ego, and gendered jobs pissed me off. In the ‘60s, people would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up, always followed by “a teacher or a secretary?” Their limiting me like that made me mad, so 6 year old me would answer “a firemen”! Should’ve seen their faces. In the ‘70s, in high school , I hated seeing when my whipsmart female friends immediately dumb themselves down when they started dating, just so their intellectually inferior boyfriends could feel smart. And “boys will be boys” always infuriated me. I expect better from my men. Now that I’m older, I call out misogynists, racists, homophobes, etc, in public, in a heartbeat, and just love to see them run away with their tails between their legs. I’m hopeful that this new generation of men will be the catalysts of change—-for the better!

nanashi
Community Member
3 years ago

I have 2 nephews and one niece, ranged 4-6yo. I bought them some toy watches (because they like my fitbit) and have it sent to their address directly. the colors were stated to be "selected randomly" so it just happen to get a blue and two pinks. my brother called me later that if I can exchange the pinks to another color because "[niece] wanted the blue one, so I can't have the boys wear the pink". I mean.... it's just a color bro. you wear pink pants the other day and it's fine, isn't it?? let them have pink toy watches.

DotC
Community Member
3 years ago

I feel like Victorians ruined modern gender culture, at least in the West. Hair length, clothing colors, wearing heeled shoes, all of that changes from decade to decade, century to century. Yet, people are violent about colors of things. So dumb.

Load More Replies...
Keessie
Community Member
3 years ago

Matilda is a freaking badass!!! Like so many of Roald Dahls characters, she is smart, confident and totally herself. My youngest son totally enjoys rainbows, unicorns, Disney Princesses, cars, animals, trampolines, singing and pestering his big brother. And, well, with the exception of the latter, he's encouraged to enjoy all of them. And still as a mom I have to take in consideration the world around him not freaking out about it and making him the victim of their narrow minds. Don't get me wrong, not by discouraging his behavior, but by actively reminding people that all that is for boys too. Before they even consider commenting about it.

Herb Coleman
Community Member
3 years ago

As I read this, I realized how much worse this is for athletes. When you combine this with the anti-feminine world of male sports you might see how we've prepared boys to harm women. From the moment boys set foot on the practice field, anything female is negative. if you whine or cry "he wants his momma". If you are not aggressive enough you are referred to as female genitalia. I've had coaches say things like "we really pulled our skirts up" (when we lost), or "put a dress on her" when you missed a block or a tackle. Anytime you screwed up you called something feminine. Next time you hear about an athlete hitting a woman, it's easy to dismiss him as having a character flaw. While that may be true, he was also groomed for several years that anything feminine was bad. You add the stress of a pro career and a woman who in any way challenges him or disrespects him and he will lash out to protect his "manhood". Not saying the women caused this, the training encouraged it.

Alice Laughs
Community Member
3 years ago

Randomly Downvoting Monster: I'm coming after you with upvotes!!! Muahaha. RUN.

Emmaline Yuzu
Community Member
3 years ago

how can i upvote this by 1 million?

Nick Factor
Community Member
3 years ago

make additional accounts is that a serious question

Load More Replies...
Anna Woodhull
Community Member
3 years ago

I absolutely agree. The good news is that I think this is starting to shift. I'm a mom of 3 young kids, 2 boys and a girl. Most of the other parents I come across don't push the idea of certain toys or colors being just for girls. And I can't imagine a teacher steering a boy away from a female character now. Also my boys really enjoyed the book Matilda.

Joannie Goulet
Community Member
3 years ago

I have 3 kids as well, the oldest is a boy. He loves machines and mechanical things, robots, anything space related... but also Peppa Pig, Disney Fairies and Dora. Some relatives still insist on giving him superheroes related stuff but I think it's more of a default thing, because they don't know him well enough. I was so amused when I saw him trade his Spider-Man advent calendar with his sister, who had received a pink Hello Kitty one. It's nice to see the world finally evolving and understanding that kids should be allowed to like whatever stuff they like without shame, boy or girl.

Load More Replies...
Eunice Probert
Community Member
3 years ago

You hit the nai lon the head. It's all about homophobia. Parents are terrified that they'll have a gay son and that he will reflect badly on them. And that's why there is a double standard.

Suzi Gauthier
Community Member
3 years ago

I fashion & in things like this, boys seem to have less freedom. Girls wear pants, but a boy in a dress?! Look at businessmen who look like carbon copies of each other. Even businesswomen have more freedom in their clothing. But if a man complains, he gets called gay.

Load More Replies...
Kiahna
Community Member
3 years ago

I always hated the gender stereotypes. If a girl threw something at a boy, she would be told off. If a boy threw something at a girl, she would be told ‘it’s because he likes you’. Like, no; he’s hurting me and you can’t keep using that dumb excuse.

OreOs
Community Member
3 years ago

YES it is v.impt to teach kids from a very young age that it is ok to look up to any gender role models and that bad behaviors will not be excused just because "boys will be boys". Another phrase i always hear to crying boys is that "big boys dont cry/you are a boy you shouldnt cry" this dismisses their feelings and ANYONE IS ALLOWED TO CRY when appropriate

Bunzilla
Community Member
3 years ago

Totally agree. 'Boys will be boys' and 'Boys don't cry' have to be some of the most toxic things you can tell kids.

Load More Replies...
Carol Emory
Community Member
3 years ago

My MIL taught her sons to respect women. She never objectified toys or made certain things taboo. She wanted them to grow up with open minds. In my family, my father never wanted his daughters to be at the mercy of a man. He wanted them to be able to be as independent as possible. So when it came time to raise my son, my husband and I decided to approach it with open minds. As a result..@ 27 years old, my autistic son is polite, helpful..and one of the biggest Bronies you'll ever meet (Bronies are boys that like My Little Pony!!)

BusLady
Community Member
3 years ago

Your MIL gave you a great gift. Same for your father. I had a MIL who taught her sons that women were put on this earth to serve men. My husband never did housework, which put a great burden on me, and it was a bad influence on our sons.

Load More Replies...
Caroline Driver
Community Member
3 years ago

And this is a fantastic way of illustrating why toxic masculinity is a terrible thing. I've been saying it for years, men are quite happy to love women, protect women, provide for women (I'm referring to the decent ones who don't actualy abuse them, physically or mentally), but for the most part, they still think that anything 'girly' such as crying, showing feelings, being sensitive, listening to friend's problems, sitting on the toilet to pee, is the most awful, embarrassing, humiliating thing ever, which just shows what they really think about us, how they have been conditioned to feel and think about us.

TheKnightOwl
Community Member
3 years ago

Things are changing. I work in a place where there's a lot of interaction with children, and see a lot less of this than I used to. J As an example, just recently a little boy was upset because we didn't have any pink golf balls, and pink is his fav colour. I showed him the red or the purple as that was the closest we had, and he picked purple as it was his second fav colour. I was waiting for his dad to react in some way about pink being his favourite colour, and all I saw was him smiling at his son...that's progress. Usually a comment like that would be met with embarrassment and trying to sway the little boy to a more "manly" colour. It's just a small anecdote, but it's a step in the right direction.

Elizabeth
Community Member
3 years ago

I've always been really grateful for my parents.... they didn't do this stuff. I was allowed to be a tomboy and none of my siblings were ever "steered" away from "female" things. Heck, they forced all of us to do dishes, laundry, trash duties, and lawn mowing. Looking back on it they were extremely progressive. In reality, my Dad wanted all of us to be self sufficient. *proud*

Bluebell Rizzi
Community Member
3 years ago

I agree 100% with this

Henrik Strömblad
Community Member
3 years ago

I watched Kim Possible and Totally Spies as a kid. Great shows. And don't even get me started on Xena the Warrior Princess and Sailor Moon. I also grew up in Sweden though and with my single mom, who didn't really care about that. I dare say I'm a better person for it. (As a side note though I also loved mindless action with Arnie and Sly. Last Man Standing is also one of the best movies ever. Just goes to show that we can all like things all over the spectrum and it doesn't mean shit other than that we like it and should be allowed to like it. God damn it.)

Lauren Caswell
Community Member
3 years ago

I never missed an episode of xena growing up ^-^ but on the armor note, my ultimate fave (apart from t2) was last action hero

Load More Replies...
Denisa Tomášová
Community Member
3 years ago

This is so interesting, how current is this for me right now. Because it's not even while ago I was thinking about it. Just a week ago I was in a store and while in a toys isle there was a woman with like a 4 year old boy. She told him that he can choose what he wants, but than when he picked something, she said that SHE didn't like the toy ( which I found absulute nonsense, such a statement) and then whe he wanted stuffed animal with hair bow the mom said that "it's too girly". Man, I was so angered on the inside, like how can you defy the geder of your 4-year-old child like that, it was just a freaking stuffed toy... And I mean, as for the while I was there the mom was still deciding the "chosen" toy for the kid. At this point how is this shaping 4 year old child, when then I can see boys under 10 cat calling me even though I'm way older than them. It's just a full circkle and at this point it's fault of both parents.

BusLady
Community Member
3 years ago

Cat calling is just a way of objectifying and degrading females. Likely they learned this behavior from male relatives. NO WOMAN OR GIRL WANTS TO BE CAT CALLED.

Load More Replies...
Samuel
Community Member
3 years ago

I'll add my 2 cents from what I've seen and experienced when I was a boy. I noticed most of us boys at primary school were encouraged to play with action figures or cops and robbers. Being seen even playing the same games with girls (I.e. jump rope or handstands) was considered strange and offensive. This of course was back in the early 90's. I vaguely remember after school waiting to get picked up and seeing one off my class mates getting picked up from his dad. The boy told his dad, "today, a boy came to school wearing a pink coat, and we all laughed" His dad said "that's not funny for him to wear pink.. he will end up turning into a fag if he carries on like that" I was too young to understand what any of that meant. I suppose it's an old mentality of of people not wanting young boys becoming gay. Just a theory.

Bubble tea 🤗
Community Member
3 years ago (edited)

I have 3 brothers and grew up liking things my bros liked . Like when a cool and expensive car passes I’m in awe my friends seem weirdid out about it. I have a tomboyish style too most of my clothes are hammy downs from my older bros. Having 3 brothers doesn’t mean I didn’t like “girly” stuff my bros loved playing with my dolls only last year did they come out with an boy America girl doll. There shouldn’t be a gender on what toys kids can play with!

Bunzilla
Community Member
3 years ago

This is why it made me very sad to see companies like Kinder Surprise and Lego suddenly come out with 'girls' versions of their products. Especially Lego, seeing as how, in their earlier days, they were really against that. I saw some of their early ads, and it kinda blew my mind how progressive they were, especially for the time.

Load More Replies...
read041
Community Member
3 years ago

I grew up with my mom always trying to force me to like dresses, pink, and "girly" things. She didn't lile me wearing jeans, liking video games and comics, and loving sports. She really gave me a lot of self esteem issues I still deal with at 30.

Agnes Jekyll
Community Member
3 years ago

He has hit the nail on the head.

Tisha Bell
Community Member
3 years ago

The 'Girl' toy aisle is brighter, more colorful, and has sparkles all over it, the "Boy" aisle is dark, a repetition of black paired with a shocking red, blue, or yellow. you put that combination and make any child choose- they're going to go with the stimulation overload of rainbows and sparkles. It's not about 'gender' kids are attracted to bright, shiny, and colorful objects.

Nick Factor
Community Member
3 years ago

that's actually because 10% of males are colourblind.

Load More Replies...
Pan Narrans
Community Member
3 years ago

Get your kids to read the Robert Heinlein or the Terry Pratchett juveniles. Great stories, great female characters.

Mewton’s Third Paw
Community Member
3 years ago

I’m surprised this is still an issue and I’m also surprised that this is a hill that conservatives want to die on. You’d think if parents were conservative that they’d just ignore a child’s sexuality on purpose or they’ll eventually start dating and possibly having sex. I’m not even joking. My parents were somewhat conservative Iranians and they let us play with boys and girls toys and never ever encouraged us to have crushes or boyfriends. If you don’t remind a kid that they are a boy or a girl, they won’t need to grapple with things like crushes, gender or sexuality until they are a little older. People always rush their kids to be one thing or another and have girlfriends and baby kisses and all that weird shit. A kid is an entirely non sexual entity and even making a big deal out of gender and orientation is sexualizing a child in my opinion.

rajath nair
Community Member
3 years ago

I once walked into a video game store with 2 hostel mates of mine. I intended to buy a game called 'Bayonetta', a pretty amazing game with a cool as heck female protagonist. I found it and as I immediately picked it up, one of my mates looked down at me and asked in Hindi if 'I still had my dick on me'. This is the problem. No matter what form of media it is, male protagonists and heroes are always considered normal role models. I don't care. I don't get impressed with fictional characters because of their gender. If there is a badass heroine who kills demons and monsters, I will proudly call myself a fan.

Nick Factor
Community Member
3 years ago (edited)

BAYONETTA IS AMAZING, also she primarily kills brainwashed angels until toward the end of the second game.

Load More Replies...
TwiceRice23
Community Member
3 years ago

This is so sad. It's 2019 people. Let kids be kids, regardless of outdated and harmful gender roles!!

Slinkman
Community Member
3 years ago

A boy at the after school daycare where i work loves the colour pink more then anything. Also when i'm painting faces he wants to be a prinses, i gladly make one of him. Adults need to step over 'how it should be' and take some lessons from our children.

Nick Factor
Community Member
3 years ago

what

Load More Replies...
Tralee Aylett
Community Member
3 years ago

So true. When I was younger my favourite colour was blue so my grandad painted my room blue. But it was a shade of blue that as I got older it would be able to go purple if I added purple accents. My brother jokingly said "only girls wear pink" and I found a black t-shirt that said "REAL MEN WEAR PINK!" on it in hot pink and gave it to him one Christmas. He loved it so much he wore it out, not to mention he go so many positive comments about it

Monika Soffronow
Community Member
3 years ago

When my son was a toddler, he used to stand on a stool beside me in the kitchen, doing the dishes, cleaning fish, or cutting vegetables. Whenever my mother in law saw this, she would immediately suggest the two of them go for a walk and informing me that I was going to turn him into a homosexual. "Nope", was my response, "I am going to make him into a real man, a real human being, who knows how to do things that need to get done, not a stunted man like his grandpa." She is now a lot older, with beginning dementia, and often enjoys eating a delicious meal her grandson has cooked.

Nick Factor
Community Member
3 years ago

THAT is a good story.

Load More Replies...
Rei Cayetano
Community Member
3 years ago

Thank you for creating this illustration.

Kim Hatfield
Community Member
3 years ago

I'm a Pre-K teacher and it saddens me when a classmate tells a boy he shouldn't use pink because it's a girl color. I set them straight - t's just a color! Children need to be free to explore and engage in a variety of activities - gender should not be an obstacle.

Eagle Girl
Community Member
3 years ago

..and people wonder why a woman in a position of power is viewed as wrong

BusLady
Community Member
3 years ago

When it comes to "girl toys" and "boy toys": When I was a kid, I thought all the boy toys were cooler than the girl toys, but I was not allowed to play with my brothers toys. On the other hand, my youngest son was allowed to play with girl toys, like Barbie dolls and doll houses. He also played with the traditional boy toys like Leggos and toy cars.

Izzi
Community Member
8 months ago

This was like 100% correct, but honestly, as a girl, we do get told to relate to female characters more. I mentioned how I related to Chandler Bing because I'm sarcastic and awkward and was told I couldn't because he was a guy character. The issue goes both ways. Just let kids be kids and look up to any role model of any gender or sex. Damn.

Zophra
Community Member
1 year ago

Your teacher was stupid.

Ellen Peck
Community Member
3 years ago

Pink, Blue, Blue, Pink - it's all in the 'conditioned' eye - look at Victorian times...! https://jezebel.com/the-history-of-pink-for-girls-blue-for-boys-5790638

Ina Norberg-Schulz
Community Member
3 years ago

My godson loved Elsa from Frozen. For his 5 birthday I asked him what he wanted for hisbirthday and he emadently said ELSA! I asked his mom if there was anything he needed and she awnsered he is in lack of sweaters. I bought him two sweaters whit Elsa-prints and he was ecstatic! The sad part was when the father went back to the shop and changed them for prints of Olaf and Sven. That led to a nasty fight where the father jelled at me that i could not by girlclothing to his boy...

Marnee DeRider
Community Member
3 years ago

You end up like an ex of mine who couldn't get through Erin Brokovich because it was a "chick flick". It was a serious drama and although it's fine if he just didn't like it, but he could not even allow himself to get interested because it was about a woman. Frightening.

Renita McAfee
Community Member
3 years ago (edited)

I've seen 2 year old boys (and older) beaten and called names if he cries because he hurt himself. Crying is for girls and gay men, according to many parents.

Janis Wise
Community Member
3 years ago

It’s just so simple really. We have always let my three soon to be four granddaughter pick her own toys. Obliviously consideration of price is a factor but never what color or gender specific characteristics the toy has. Consequently she has trucks and cars, baby dolls and superheroes, pink fluffy rug in her bedroom by her bed and a race track carpet on the other side of the room. We’ve never been concerned with her gender identity because of the toys she picked, but then we’ve never been concerned with her gender identity for any other reason either. A time will come and she’ll figure out what’s right for her, and we’ll be thrilled and love her whoever she turns out to be. She is this awesome kid right now, why would she be any less awesome just because of her gender leaning? Take a load off your shoulders, and pressure off the kids. The rest will work out, your opinion certainly isn’t going to change it, and just enjoy them.

James Gallegos
Community Member
3 years ago

See his first problem was he chose Matilda and not Lara Croft. ;) But seriously, I love Linda Carter as Wonder Woman. She at the time was the only superhero on tv. And I didn't care she was a girl/woman. I thought she was awesome and wanted to have an invisible jet just like her. Now I don't think I ever got any flack for liking her. I think it was encouraged because I was this kid with a "crush" on an older woman. Lol. Little did my family know that I was gay at the time. Maybe I looked up to her because of her amazing costume or able to change clothes by spinning around! Sigh, I wish I could do that, no laundry day! But I knew at an early age boys were not supposed to play with dolls and do girly stuff like that. So instead, I played house with my GI Joe and Star Wars action figures instead. Luke Skywalker and Duke living together in the Castle Greyskull, happily ever after.

Nick Factor
Community Member
3 years ago

lolllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll. <3

Load More Replies...
Holly Delaney
Community Member
3 years ago (edited)

I totally agree, and have to admit as a 58 y.o. woman I do cringe a little when a boy likes things that were originally marketed to girls. That’s part of my upbringing, but we should question those cultural norms. I agree that it can lead to misogynistic tendencies later in life. Figures that we are all supporting that underlying cultural behavior while trying to fight the inappropriate misogyny once they have grown up.

Beatrice Multhaupt
Community Member
3 years ago

Just after Roger Moore died, I started wondering why I suddenly stopped watching ''The Saint'', which had been my absolute favorite TV show for about two years. Well, I had switched to watching ''The Avengers'' because of Diana Rigg's Emma Peel. Instead of watching Moore rescue a damsel-in-distress every week, I got to watch martial artist Rigg rescue Patrick McKnee. BTW, I'm female.

Robbie musson
Community Member
3 years ago

The situation was flipped in our home. My son is the youngest with 3 older sisters. He always had his fill of all things “girlie”. Our 3rd daughter was/is our rough and tumble, strong-willed, precocious child. She shopped on the “boys” toy aisle and chose long basketball short/t-shirts. Now at 16, she an incredibly well -adjusted, still precocious but loving, beautiful young woman. Let kids be themselves and parents please put your fears and preconceived notions to rest. Your adult child will love you more for it.

Daria Z
Community Member
3 years ago

I played cars and soccer, and climbed trees when I was little, although my mom bought me nice dolls and dresses, and all my girl friends also preferred dolls. Still, I grew up being a tomboy. Maybe it has something to do with me having only mom and no dad, dunno. I kinda felt I had to be the strong one in the family, and everyone thought it was okay. However, if a boy tried anything remotedly girly, he'd be laughed at and finally ostracised. Back then we didn't think much about it but now I find it unfair. I'm glad the situation is changing, even here in Russia.

Gracie Mae
Community Member
3 years ago

my son's fave color was hot pink when he was about 5-8 yrs old or so. i let him wear whatever he wanted, even though dad had his doubts. he liked 'full house' and a couple of other shows like it. he grew up fine. if nothing else, i think it gave him a better understanding/outlook of the female psyche--which is great now that his family consists of his wife & 2 daughters...

Tanko Chan
Community Member
3 years ago

A little boy at the supermarket wanted his mom to buy something and it was something PINK. His mom insisted he couldn't take it because it was for girls and should pick something else "for boys". But the boy actually wanted the thing and they discussed a little. He sounded very disappointed, he didn't understand why he couldn't take home the pink something he liked. Wish I had the guts to intervene... but I guess no one would support me in his little battle.

Liz Morea
Community Member
3 years ago

Using that logic, wouldn't a boy who likes the same sex toys be thought of as gay? I think that it's normal if boys like girl dolls/action figures more than boy figures. Basing your or your child's life on what fickle society thinks will cripple both of you.

Kathy Baylis
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

Kathy Baylis
Community Member
3 years ago

Sorry, it posted twice...see the full comment above.

Load More Replies...
deanna woods
Community Member
2 years ago

We need to stop raising kids in the correct gender roles and just raise kids based on what they are interested in. Unless they're interested in something illegal, be worried, otherwise let kids be kids. One of my favorite colors is pink, but I played with toy cars when I was a little girl. I played sports and I also liked to play with dolls. I didn't and still don't have just a few interests. I had many. Let kids be who they are and not who we think they should.

Peter Robertson
Community Member
3 years ago

I'm a little amazed at how I still have this sort of instant reaction to "boy" and "girl" things, even when I know better. It's *that* ingrained. That said, as grownup, I get to show off my two favorite hero characters, Princess (general) Leia and Wonder Woman. No one entering my office has any doubts of my fandoms. But it took decades to let myself be comfortable with the things I love.

Shane Goguen
Community Member
3 years ago

Who are these people? Nobody cares what color shirt boys put on since Miami Vice nor what toys they play with. This reeks of male stereo types from 40 years ago!

Usana
Community Member
3 years ago

As someone who read mostly female authors, enjoyed many female characters, played many games with female leads, etc. I have to say. I didn't experience this. No. One. Cared. Not a bit. Now the fact that I wanted long hair, particularly after playing FFVIII(boy did I like Irvine's hairsyle). That lead to raised eyebrows among some, but was still mostly a shrug. A bit weird but whatever. Anyways, this makes me curious where ya'all grew up that folks care so much about you thinking a female character is cool that it blows up as big as the comics portray.

Lara Verne
Community Member
3 years ago

My brother likes My little pony TV series. He's not embarrassed.

Serena Larsen
Community Member
3 years ago

I love getting dirty, Pokemon, Yo-Kai Watch, as a girl. My mom was okay with it! I also love camping in the wild. I still love Pokemon cards, and Yo-Kai Watch medals. I love to collect rocks. I hate dolls, I love plushies. I don't like "fancy" clothing, more of like shorts, and a t-shirt with a fox on it. They don't have to have a fox on it, just blank or anything cute.

Serena Larsen
Community Member
3 years ago

As a girl, I love the color blue and I always loved Yo-Kai Watch and Pokemon, my mom was like "Why don't you get something for girls?" I love clothing that's NOT pink, or purple. Nowadays, I love Pokemon cards and fox plushies.

Joy Du Fosee
Community Member
3 years ago (edited)

My 5 year old daughter loves cars, dinosaurs, space ships, rockets, animals, etc. She also likes MLP and dressing up. She does have more 'boy toys' then 'girl toys'... and I don't mind it one bit. They are her toys not mine, and if she likes them and that's what she wants to play with then I don't care.

Debra Starr Moon
Community Member
3 years ago

I was so lucky. As a little girl I had my easy bake oven and barbies AND my hot wheels track and dump trucks. I played "house" and learned how to cook, and I went fishing and learned how to work on cars. Im so grateful my parents never subscribed to gender stereotyping!

Angelique Badger
Community Member
3 years ago

Pink is a skill in my house, all of my boys, their dad, and their uncle will wear pink, to them, it is if you can pull the color off. It is a status symbol in our house, funny enough I never wear pink. My boys have learned what consent is and to intervene where girls are being harassed. I know that violence is not the answer but they on many occasions got into a fight doing this. They will not back down, and they have been taught how to fight back. They play with female characters in games, my eldest especially and he has identified as asexual, I am sure it will change and I honestly don't care what he identifies with as long as he is happy. It is up to our generation to teach our boys how to respect woman and treat them as equal

Heather Frankish
Community Member
3 years ago

I have a 5.5 year old boy. If you ask him what his favourite colour is he says, 'All the colours of the rainbow'. I have bought him lots of clothes with rainbows on because he loves wearing rainbow clothes.

Nostalgic Hyena
Community Member
3 years ago

Take your sons to see movies such as Captain Marvel so that they don't grow up to be the dickheads who get angry when movies like that are released.

Benjamin Vogelsang
Community Member
3 years ago

Do you mean bad movies?

Load More Replies...
TeeMarieTisMe
Community Member
3 years ago

Yes yes yes! I couldn't agree with this more. I constantly watch friends and relatives with children say "oh no he can't have that it's for girls". I even once heard that a male nephew wasn't allowed to have a purple toy because "purple is a girl color". We need to change this type of thinking!

未周 陸
Community Member
3 years ago

Exactly as you Reap what you Sow! | Learnt Behaviours vs Gendered Traits?! Ha! Believe it: Never gendered traits!

Valentinian Han
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

Fairsher
Community Member
3 years ago

Reminds me of what happened just last week while shopping with 2 grandsons. Looking for slip ons for the pool/lake one , the 7 year old picked a pink pair and his older brother,10, said no, that's a girl color. I said color is color, there is no boy color or girl color, it's just color. An older couple heard this and I saw a look of disapproval from the man but the woman just smiled. Unfortunately none in his size but my oldest grandson learned a lesson ,so it was a win!

Cortney Lancaster
Community Member
3 years ago

I was at the supermarkte checkout with my 8 year old son. I saw at the checkout opposite us a mother with her children who was buying groceries be approached by an old man. He proceeded to tell her that her son (about 4) was holding onto a sheet of stickers (a bunch of different types were available at the counter) that featured things like butterflies and rainbows. He was adamant that he put that down and choose one that had dinosaurs or superheroes instead, because 'that one is for girls'. I was disgusted but ignored it because the mother was like 'no that's what he wants', but my son on his own volition went and picked out the exact same set of stickers and asked me if he could have them and I have never been prouder of my kid in that moment.

Kim Lorton
Community Member
3 years ago

Wow! Damian! You hit thee giant ignored nail on the head! If this was the exception, I’d still happy with your way of pinpointing a simple way to stop those behaviors before they cause permanent psychological changes, in akkk kids! But it’s the rule, and I am still shocked that it exists. Because of EXACTLY what you pinpointed. That kind of thinking won’t change, until people change how they raise their kids and what they mimic, and how they behave and influence their kids. Way to go!!👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻. It can also be applied to racism,too. TeAach them young, so they can influence and promote change. In their world!

Nick Factor
Community Member
3 years ago (edited)

I think gender specifics are 15000x more of an issue than racism. Most racism stems from religion or wars in history over territory, so just get rid of war and religion to get rid of racism.

Load More Replies...
Guinevere
Community Member
3 years ago

I want to upvoe this 5000 times!

Ann Abdelzaher
Community Member
3 years ago

My son is 11 now but he had a doll when he was little and he LOVED shopkins and watch the entire series of She-ra with me. He also adores anything cats, he has a ton of stuffed cats and when he was 3 he picked a cat in a bag.. both the cat and bag were pink.. he didn't care and neither did I. I have repeatedly told his dad to leave him alone about the cats thing as he constantly tells our son "cats are for girls". Drives me nuts.

Nick Factor
Community Member
3 years ago (edited)

how can a CAT be for a girl, also you should get rid of his dad

Load More Replies...
Kimberly Young
Community Member
3 years ago

My little brother played with girlie stuff all the time because he had 2 big sisters. I never thought about it at the time, but I bet the only reason that people didn't see it as weird was because they assumed his big sisters "made" him do it.

Jane Campbell
Community Member
3 years ago

My brother-in-law wouldn't even let his boys play with GI Joe dolls. Although I think they are all happy grandparents now, I can't help but think those GI Joe dolls could have taught them some extra life skills earlier in life.

Michael Whisman
Community Member
3 years ago

When I was in school girls could do no wrong. Boys got punished and girls never did. 2 girls had me cornered and kicking the hell out of me. I blooded one of their noses. Guess who the bad guy was?? My whole childhood was like that. They were sweet little angels and innocent.

Anton Feichtmeir
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

Kate Walters
Community Member
3 years ago

I’ve been teaching elementary school kids for 14 years now, and I still have to fight this deeply ingrained belief that, when doing read alouds or introducing new characters to my class, that my male students will only respond to male characters. It was such a part of my upbringing, that (boys who relate to girls are automatically gay, girls are inferior, etc.) that it requires some mental exertion to treat characters of both genders equally.

Nick Factor
Community Member
3 years ago

then you should not be teaching at elementary school.

Load More Replies...
Pamela Scott
Community Member
3 years ago

We want to see the way things are change this is the starting point. Another that has to change is when a girl falls down we check to make sure she isn't hurt then tell her she is okay and to walk it off. A boy falls down and it never fails somebody is going to start telling him you're okay get up and walk it off. How about making sure he actually is okay before you say anything stupid! If it hurt he should be allowed to react to being hurt not have someone tell him to automatically ignore what he is feeling. Think we would have more guys who were able to get help when they need it if this wasn't teaching them to ignore what they feel!!!!

Herb Coleman
Community Member
3 years ago (edited)

As a kid, I liked Charlies Angels and Kate Jackson was my favorite. Aside from being gorgeous, she was smart and clever. She also stood up to people and didn't use her "feminine wiles" to get what she needed. I liked her from when she was on the Rookies (although she played a cops wife, she was still a strong character). My best friend in high school (and other very intelligent woman) looked a lot like her.

Abby Not Normal
Community Member
3 years ago

Thank you so much to the artist for creating and sharing this. I did not expect it to present a phenomenon I had not heard about before but it totally did. Thank you.

Burk Billin
Community Member
3 years ago

Nobody should have struggles in life. It doesn't make one stronger................or does it?

R.s. Potter
Community Member
3 years ago

No, it very often *doesn't* make you stronger. Getting bullied by boys (when you're a girl) and being told "It's because he likes you" or "Boys will be boys" just destroys your self confidence and makes you feel worthless.

Load More Replies...
Ojberretta Berretta
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

oh more feminizing boys of the west yay ,women dont ask yourself where all the good men are while you are turning em into females

Jess-a-men
Community Member
3 years ago

Oh, we know where the good men are. They're among us, with us. Raised with Lego and Barbie dolls, with pink and blue and all the things they loved. Teached that girls and boys are equal, allowed to do as they wanted, not as society deemed right. Big masculine good men who had a choice... and beautifully feminine good men who also had a choice. The great thing is that both choices make good men!

Load More Replies...
Άρης Παπαδόπουλος
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

He is like a young Elton John

Gage Franke
Community Member
2 years ago

And this is bad how? Elton John is a fucking legend.

Load More Replies...
Tiffany Marie
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Just be honest & say you always wanted to be a little girl instead of a boy :)

Neon Petra
Community Member
3 years ago

Shut. Up.

Load More Replies...
Valentinian Han
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

And now you're a fag and everything is clear.

Nick Factor
Community Member
3 years ago

how can you even use that word

Load More Replies...
Ryan Osbaldeston
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Though I understand what this strip is saying and I am sure a lot of young people go through this sort of thing I was lucky enough to have avoided much of it. Growing up two of my family's go to TV shows were Charmed and Alias. Both of which featured strong female leads. Phoebe was my favorite TV character for years. Even now more than half of my favorite fictional characters are female. Starbuck and Six from Battlestar. Michone and Carol from Walking Dead. The driven Lesle Knope of Parks and Rec. Supergirl. Tatiana Maslany from Orphan Black is one of the best actors out there hands down. Arya on GoT. Dolores on Westworld. Kristen Bell in anything she is ever in. Agent May on Agents of Shield should be a roll model to everyone. Shallan and Jasnah from Stormlight Archives are easily the best characters in the series. Same thing with Egwene from WoT. Though considering this list it may just be that I have a thing for the ladies who can kick ass

Nhan tran
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

I am sorry that you have to live in this society

Suzi Gauthier
Community Member
3 years ago

We should always strive to improve, both as individuals & as a society. Those who don't grow & change, die. Why do you think our species dies at around 80? If we lived forever, we'd still be living in caves, because "if it's good enough for me, it's good enough for my kids!" I'm sorry you think it's ok to just stagnate.

Load More Replies...
Coco
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Did you just draw an Indian family to show the "over protective"? WTF?

Stephen Wade
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

You people are maroons.

Kaisu
Community Member
3 years ago

Maroons? Like the colour maroon? Or like the band Maroon 5?

Load More Replies...
anarkzie
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Sexism is wrong and kids should be able to play with whatever characters they want but this link that you're drawing between the two seems very simplistic.

Sveta Smirnova
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

To me, there may be a difference between barbie and black widow characters to boys

Stille20
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

I believe gender equality requires that we change not only how when are treated, but also how men are treated... that being said, I was underwhelmed by this comic.

pepjrp
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Little boys are maligned and despised when they are in grade school and always compared to girls on behavior issues. Boys are different than girls and teachers need to understand that. More girls graduate high school and college, while boys are demonized. Where's that article, where little boys are not hated?

Full Name
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

I agree with his basic premise, but I got off the train once he treaded down Route Virtue Signal. I did have a good chuckle though when I saw his pic because it fits EXACTLY the stereotype of a virtue signalling wus who knows no other way to suck up the ladies.

Layla
Community Member
3 years ago (edited)

Yeah, I'm sure all the ladies are hiring private investigators right now to find the address of this one guy on the internet so they can ask him out. I mean, he should've just scribbled his phone number in the corner of his comics, cause we all know if he drew something nice about the other sex, the only possibly fathomable reason is that he expects to get laid because of it. (Edit: /sarcasm - do I need to say)

Load More Replies...
Asia
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

And now you get female characters shoved down your throat left and right in media.

Kaisu
Community Member
3 years ago

You say it as if during the entire duration of film and TV and book history we haven't had male characters shoved down our throats

Load More Replies...
Monkeywrench Productions
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

oh fuck off.. "all my brother can show is anger and is emotionally crippled." get over yourself, you fucking baby

Herb Eaversmells
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Isn't also ok to like "boy things" as a boy? I don't sway my son in any way, but he loves dirt, trucks, sticks, baseball, wrestling, etc. I wouldn't mind if he watches wonder woman, or wants a "girls" toy, but he has not shown any interest in traditional feminine products. Can we also stop assuming because young boys gravitate towards masculine things, that society has somehow pushed them that way.

Suzi Gauthier
Community Member
3 years ago

Sure, it's when you push them the other way that there is a problem. Girls stuff becomes negative, so of course they look upon girls as lesser as they grow. Boys should have the same freedom as girls to pursue their interests.

Load More Replies...
Marco
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Ohhh... blah

Alejandro Herrnsdorf-Sakellaridis
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

And that's how soyboys are.created.

Mewton’s Third Paw
Community Member
3 years ago

Imagine being this bitter about a plant.

Load More Replies...
John Smith
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Damian is what's known in the trade as a Soy Boy. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Ed Souza
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Exactly. Just look at the guy. Soy all over.

Load More Replies...
Miklós Nagy
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Tell your son that liking girls are bad and wonder why will he love boys when he grows up...

Burk Billin
Community Member
3 years ago

what's wrong with loving males? I assume your mom does.......or did.

Load More Replies...
Tiffany Marie
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

To each is there own.. I personally am not attracted to a pussy male, in fact I don't enjoy having a bigger pair of balls then the dude I'm having sex with. It's a turn off. I like a protector, warrior, rock. Now if women enjoy beta bitches, there is so many!! Go for it :)

Foxxy
Community Member
3 years ago (edited)

I saw a boy about 2 years old holding a pink my little pony ball. At the checkout the mum realised the design of ball he had and said “I’m not getting you a pink ball, any other colour would be better”. The little boy looked so upset coz he didn’t understand that people see toys and images as gender specific. My 5yo son loves cars, trucks, boats, fire trucks, getting dirty etc but he also loves having his nails painted, wearing a lil make up when myself or my daughter wear it etc. My 13yo daughter loves fashion and “girly” stuff but she loves getting dirty, riding bikes (she used to do BMX racing), playing rough etc. I don’t give a shit. I care about my kids happiness and if they are happy having opposite “gender” toys then so be it.

Danielle Renee
Community Member
3 years ago

you're raising happy, confident, well adjusted children...thank you! there need to be more parents like this.

Load More Replies...
Ivana
Community Member
3 years ago

Girls pick up on this as well. I avoided anything that could remotely be seen as feminine because I had equated femininity with inferiority. Femininity was frivolous and I wanted to be a hard-edged career woman. I was in my late 20s when it kind of hit me that I had been taught to loath part of my identity, my gender, a huge fucking part of who I am even though I was (and still am) a strong feminist. But my younger form of feminism was adapting masculine qualities because I wanted to be a powerful woman while avoiding pink like a color matters in the slightest. Now I accept that femininity and masculinity are bullshit, people are complex and have both traits and both traits have value. Compassion and leadership are both important and they are not exclusive on one or another gender.

2WheelTravlr
Community Member
3 years ago

This is so true. I ride motorcycles and worked in the motorsports industry, I always made a point of not dressing "girly" or wearing the kinds of riding gear that accentuated the fact that I was female. I'm so happy that the newest generation of female riders have amazing skills, no fear, and some dress like girls while others are more comfortable in guys gear. Things are slowly getting better, but they're still far from equal.

Load More Replies...