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After years together, many couples feel comfortable discussing what their future might look like. Ideally, those conversations help confirm that both partners see the relationship moving in the same direction.
But when this Redditor had that talk with her boyfriend, it didn’t go the way she expected. As they discussed marriage and what that next step might involve, she mentioned wanting an engagement ring that felt special and showed real commitment. Instead, her boyfriend told her she would need to “earn” it—a comment that caught her completely off guard.
Not knowing what to make of the situation, she took to the internet to share what happened and ask others what she should do. Read the full story below.
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While talking about marriage plans, the woman shared that she wanted an engagement ring that felt special and showed real commitment
Man and woman arguing on a couch, highlighting drama over engagement ring expectations after 4.5 years together.
Readers labeled the boyfriend’s reaction a red flag and offered advice on what she should do next
Red flag relationship advice about a man saying girlfriend must earn engagement ring after years together, causing drama online.
Reddit advice post discussing a man telling girlfriend she must earn an engagement ring after years together.
Reddit comment discussing relationship communication drama about earning an engagement ring after years together.
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Screenshot of an online comment discussing a man telling his girlfriend she must earn an engagement ring after years together.
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Commenter advises woman to leave boyfriend who says she must earn engagement ring after 4.5 years, sparking relationship drama.
Comment about relationship drama as man tells girlfriend she must earn engagement ring after 4.5 years together shared online.
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Comment from a man refusing to buy an engagement ring until it is earned after 4.5 years, sparking drama online.
Reddit comment discussing a man telling his girlfriend she must earn an engagement ring after years together.
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Screenshot of an online comment discussing a man’s demand for his girlfriend to earn an engagement ring after years together.
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Screenshot of a social media comment debating if a girlfriend must earn an engagement ring, sparking relationship drama.
Comment about a man telling his girlfriend she must earn an engagement ring after 4.5 years, sparking relationship drama.
Screenshot of a social media comment criticizing a man who says his girlfriend must earn an engagement ring.
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Screenshot of an online comment questioning a man’s demand that his girlfriend must earn an engagement ring after years together.
Screenshot of online comment about a man telling girlfriend she must earn an engagement ring, sparking drama.
Comment from a user discussing relationship drama after man tells girlfriend she must earn an engagement ring.
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Screenshot of a Reddit comment advising a woman about respect and love after her boyfriend says she must earn an engagement ring.
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Text conversation discussing a man telling his girlfriend she must earn an engagement ring, causing relationship drama.
Text message about man telling girlfriend she must earn engagement ring after 4.5 years, causing drama and relationship conflict.
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Comment expressing frustration about a man telling his girlfriend she must earn an engagement ring after years.
Reddit comment discussing relationship drama after man tells girlfriend she must earn an engagement ring.
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Commenter discussing opinions on earning an engagement ring in a long-term relationship and thoughtful ring choices.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment advising a woman on earning an engagement ring after 4.5 years together, sparking drama.
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Comment on a forum screen about a man telling his girlfriend she must earn an engagement ring, sparking drama after 4.5 years together.
Comment reading You will regret wasting your life with him if you stay, related to man telling girlfriend she must earn engagement ring drama.
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Comment discussing relationship expectations and drama after man tells girlfriend she must earn an engagement ring.
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Comment warning about relationship drama where a man says his girlfriend must earn an engagement ring after years together.
Comment advising to end relationship after man tells girlfriend she must earn engagement ring, sparking drama.
Screenshot of an online comment debating the idea that a woman must earn an engagement ring after years of dating.
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Comment discussing relationship dynamics after man tells girlfriend she must earn an engagement ring causing drama online.
Comment discussing a man telling his girlfriend she must earn an engagement ring, highlighting relationship drama.
Reddit comment discussing man telling girlfriend she must earn engagement ring after 4.5 years, sparking relationship drama.
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Oleksandra is an experienced copywriter from Ukraine with a master’s degree in International Communication. Having covered everything from education, finance, and marketing to art, pop culture, and memes, she now brings her storytelling skills to Bored Panda. For the past six years, she’s been living and working in Vilnius, Lithuania.
Oleksandra is an experienced copywriter from Ukraine with a master’s degree in International Communication. Having covered everything from education, finance, and marketing to art, pop culture, and memes, she now brings her storytelling skills to Bored Panda. For the past six years, she’s been living and working in Vilnius, Lithuania.
I'm the Visual Editor at Bored Panda, responsible for ensuring that everything our audience sees is top-notch and well-researched. What I love most about my job? Discovering new things about the world and immersing myself in exceptional photography and art.
I'm the Visual Editor at Bored Panda, responsible for ensuring that everything our audience sees is top-notch and well-researched. What I love most about my job? Discovering new things about the world and immersing myself in exceptional photography and art.
If the cost isn't share in an engagement ring, it's essentially a gift to "earn" the wedding. Why shouldn't the recipient "earn" the ring? If you're going to stick to the weird patriarchal formula, stick to it. Or, move into the modern era with parity and pick out and pay for rings together. If you're asking for a down payment on the marriage, it's fair your partner asks for one in return. But really, grow up and I'm higher
We'd been living together for a while before we got engaged, so our finances were pretty much all shared by then anyway. We picked out the stone (emerald-cut emerald, about 1.4 carat) and the setting together, we looked on the cost as a shared thing. Was about £1500, IIRC, >30 years ago.
If the cost isn't share in an engagement ring, it's essentially a gift to "earn" the wedding. Why shouldn't the recipient "earn" the ring? If you're going to stick to the weird patriarchal formula, stick to it. Or, move into the modern era with parity and pick out and pay for rings together. If you're asking for a down payment on the marriage, it's fair your partner asks for one in return. But really, grow up and I'm higher
We'd been living together for a while before we got engaged, so our finances were pretty much all shared by then anyway. We picked out the stone (emerald-cut emerald, about 1.4 carat) and the setting together, we looked on the cost as a shared thing. Was about £1500, IIRC, >30 years ago.
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