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Dinner dates allow couples to spend quality time together, especially during special occasions. The worst thing anyone can do during such events is to invite friends to join in, a costly mistake that some people still commit.
This happened in today’s story, where a woman wanted to treat her boyfriend to a nice dinner for his birthday. The man, however, decided to reciprocate the sweet gesture by having two of his friends tag along. Worse, he had the audacity to call her out when she refused to foot the bill.
The incident made the woman contemplate a break-up, as she asked the AITAH subreddit for advice.
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Dinner dates are for couples to spend quality time together
Image credits: Jep Gambardella / Pexels (not the actual photo)
A woman wanted to take her boyfriend out to dinner for his birthday, but he decided to invite two friends to join
Image credits: KoolShooters / Pexels (not the actual photo)
When the entire party ordered a ton of food and friends, the woman refused to pay for the whole bill
Image credits: Jessie McCall / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Her actions caused a strain in her relationship, as her boyfriend accused her of ruining his birthday
Image credits: dreamingblondie
Image credits: Yunus Tuğ / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Couples are encouraged to devote time to going on dates
Relationship experts constantly stress the importance of spending quality time together. For one, The Gottman Institute advises allotting two hours a week on date nights to stay connected to each other.
Spending alone time with each other has massive benefits for the relationship. According to licensed couples counselor Kari Rusnak, MA, LPC, CMHC, it’s a way to build positive interactions to “store your emotional bank account.”
As Rusnak explains in an article for Psychology Today, couples must maintain a 5-to-1 ratio of positive and negative interactions to maintain a good perspective on the relationship.
“Date nights can be an opportunity to boost that ratio and have a good time together,” Rusnak wrote.
Most importantly, it allows couples to have fun together and keep the spark alive. As Rusnak points out, it’s a way to balance the relationship and the stress from daily obligations.
The woman likely wanted a fun night out with her boyfriend to celebrate his birthday. However, he decided to ruin it and blamed her for not paying for the expenses she had not planned for.
Image credits: Antoni Shkraba / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Difficult conversations should not be swept under the rug
The woman says her boyfriend has been avoiding talking to her after the incident as she mulls over a possible end to their relationship. It may be a difficult discussion, but experts advise against avoiding them.
“Make it a rule in your relationship that you both won’t avoid the uncomfortable stuff,” therapist and counselor Dr. Kurt Smith told HuffPost.
This is where transparency also plays a role. It’s a way for couples to build an emotional and authentic connection. As licensed professional counselor Priya Tahim, MA, LPC, NCC, said in the same HuffPost interview, the ups and downs collectively strengthen these bonds.
“Relationships don’t exist off only positive connections. In fact, it’s the negative experiences that often bring two people closer together,” Tahim explained.
According to the author, she had been trying to reach out to no avail. She even wanted to apologize for something she shouldn’t. If her efforts remain futile, perhaps breaking off the relationship would be her next best move.
Most readers sided with the author, as many advised her to proceed with the breakup
However, a few people somehow found fault in her
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What do you think ?
Sean Of The Spiders 1 year ago
Who are these YTA?! It's like him and his friends found the thread. Quackamole sounds like a trumpet blowing hippo at this point. Jeeeez.
tori Ohno 1 year ago
They're users and thieves, just like the boyfriend and his friends.
Load More Replies...
StumblingThroughLife 1 year ago
Wow! She was THE BOSS refusing to pay for the freeloaders... then ruined it by still being with someone whose gaslighting her. She sounds like she's reluctant to dump him, even though he's still treating her like sh*t. The OP isn't the AH, but she needs to imagine what life will be like if she sticks with this nasty POS.
Jay Scales 1 year ago
She's young. You don't see the signs as clearly. If we all knew back then what we know now.... so many bad decisions would've been avoided!
Load More Replies...
Fellfromthemoon 1 year ago
As HighwayFine put it, the guest supposed to pick something that won't break the bank. According to Miss Manners, the guest chooses from the middle of the menu (so, not the absolute cheapest option, but middle-range). Ordering multiple apetizers and drinks and running up the bill, as a guest, is a despicable move, freeloaders and cheapskates do it.
Delicate Fcuking Flower 1 year ago
Good god, even Stevie Wonder can see the giant red flags in this scenario
Trillian 1 year ago (edited)
So he changed a date dinner to a friend's dinner without telling you and expects her to pick up the bill? I don't like any of this, definitely would not be paying for people I didn't invite and would have a talk about communicating with him.
Nina 1 year ago
She shouldn't have paid for bfs meal either. T****r clearly planned to take her for a ride and invited his idiot friends to do it too. Hope she dumped him.
Robert Beveridge 1 year ago
Tinder? Twitter? Trucker? Titillator? Tintinnabulator? Okay, I'm truly at a loss on this one.
Load More Replies...
Michael Largey 1 year ago
In the important sense, the BF was absolutely right - it is rude to invite people to dinner and not pay for them. And since he did the inviting, he should do the paying. This woman should ditch him, and the Marianas Trench is the ditch I have in mind.
Schmebulock 1 year ago
She should send him a request for his half of the dinner and put in the notes she is dumping his loser a*s.
Sean Of The Spiders 1 year ago
Who are these YTA?! It's like him and his friends found the thread. Quackamole sounds like a trumpet blowing hippo at this point. Jeeeez.
tori Ohno 1 year ago
They're users and thieves, just like the boyfriend and his friends.
Load More Replies... StumblingThroughLife 1 year ago
Wow! She was THE BOSS refusing to pay for the freeloaders... then ruined it by still being with someone whose gaslighting her. She sounds like she's reluctant to dump him, even though he's still treating her like sh*t. The OP isn't the AH, but she needs to imagine what life will be like if she sticks with this nasty POS.
Jay Scales 1 year ago
She's young. You don't see the signs as clearly. If we all knew back then what we know now.... so many bad decisions would've been avoided!
Load More Replies... Fellfromthemoon 1 year ago
As HighwayFine put it, the guest supposed to pick something that won't break the bank. According to Miss Manners, the guest chooses from the middle of the menu (so, not the absolute cheapest option, but middle-range). Ordering multiple apetizers and drinks and running up the bill, as a guest, is a despicable move, freeloaders and cheapskates do it.
Delicate Fcuking Flower 1 year ago
Good god, even Stevie Wonder can see the giant red flags in this scenario
Trillian 1 year ago (edited)
So he changed a date dinner to a friend's dinner without telling you and expects her to pick up the bill? I don't like any of this, definitely would not be paying for people I didn't invite and would have a talk about communicating with him.
Nina 1 year ago
She shouldn't have paid for bfs meal either. T****r clearly planned to take her for a ride and invited his idiot friends to do it too. Hope she dumped him.
Robert Beveridge 1 year ago
Tinder? Twitter? Trucker? Titillator? Tintinnabulator? Okay, I'm truly at a loss on this one.
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 1 year ago
In the important sense, the BF was absolutely right - it is rude to invite people to dinner and not pay for them. And since he did the inviting, he should do the paying. This woman should ditch him, and the Marianas Trench is the ditch I have in mind.
Schmebulock 1 year ago
She should send him a request for his half of the dinner and put in the notes she is dumping his loser a*s.
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