Bio Mom Appears 16 Years Later, Expecting Relationship, Hurt When Teen Says She’s Not Her Backup Plan

It’s totally understandable that accidents can happen, kids might be born, and mothers may decide to give them up for adoption. However, after years of no contact, they can’t just expect these children to accept the biological parents with open arms, can they?

When this woman delivered her baby, she decided to give her daughter up for adoption, but after 16 years, she suddenly showed up. Apparently, she realized that she could not have any more kids, so the mom wanted a relationship with the teen. Well, things didn’t go as planned. Here’s what really happened…

More info: Reddit

When parents choose careers over kids, they can’t really expect them to bond after years of no contact

Young parents kissing their smiling baby girl, highlighting bio mom appears after 16 years in family reunion moment.

Image credits: sviatkovskyi / Freepik (not the actual photo)

The poster’s mom had her in her early 20s, but gave her up for adoption as she wanted to focus on her career

Alt text: Teen refuses relationship with bio mom who appears 16 years later, feeling hurt over not being backup plan.

Text about bio mom reaching out after 16 years, expecting relationship, and teen feeling hurt and not a backup plan.

Excerpt about bio mom explaining why she gave up child, mentioning youth, career success, and being a scientist.

Text excerpt about bio mom appearing after 16 years, expecting relationship despite teen saying she’s not a backup plan.

Text on white background expressing hurt feelings about a bio mom remembering her child only after 16 years.

Text excerpt about a bio mom reaching out after 16 years, discussing relationship expectations and emotional conflict.

Image credits: BoatInevitable2681

A bio mom comforting her teenage daughter during a heartfelt conversation on outdoor stone steps.

Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

However, when the poster was 16, her mom reached out wanting to bond, but the teen realized that it was because she couldn’t have more kids

Text excerpt about bio mom reaching out after 16 years, expecting a relationship, but teen feels hurt and not a backup plan.

Teen expresses discomfort after bio mom appears 16 years later, expecting a relationship and feeling hurt.

Text from a message about a bio mom texting and hinting at a visit after 16 years apart.

Text on a white background reads a personal message about telling someone to stop visiting and not planning to visit.

Text expressing guilt and reluctance to build a relationship with bio mom who appeared after 16 years.

Image credits: BoatInevitable2681

Teen girl in a hoodie looking hurt and contemplative, reflecting feelings about bio mom and relationship expectations.

Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

The poster refused to have this strange relationship, and even netizens assured her that she was not a consolation prize for her mom

Text post discussing bio mom reaching out after 16 years, expecting relationship, but teen refuses backup plan role.

Screenshot of an online discussion about establishing boundaries with a biological mom appearing after 16 years and relationship expectations.

Comment advising teen on setting boundaries with bio mom appearing after 16 years, addressing hurt feelings and relationship expectations.

Alt text: Adoption story of bio mom reappearing after years, facing teen's rejection and hurt over relationship expectations

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing bio mom appearing after 16 years, struggling to build relationship with teen.

Teen girl sitting against a brick wall, looking at phone, reflecting feelings of bio mom reappearing after 16 years hurt

Image credits: Wavebreak Media / Freepik (not the actual photo)

The poster gave an update that she had openly spoken with her mom about how hurt she had felt for being treated like a last resort

Text excerpt about bio mom appearing after 16 years, expecting relationship, and hurt by teen refusing to be backup plan.

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Text excerpt about bio mom appearing after 16 years, expecting a relationship, and feeling hurt by teen’s response.

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Teen expresses hurt and rejection when bio mom appears after 16 years expecting a close relationship based on blood ties.

Text post about bio mom choosing career over child, expecting mother-daughter relationship, reflecting on adoption challenges.

Image credits: BoatInevitable2681

Woman in casual clothes looking worried while talking on phone, illustrating bio mom and relationship struggles.

Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

Although the poster was glad that she gave her up for adoption, as she had incredible parents, what the woman was asking was unfair

Text excerpt about a bio mom choosing career over parenting, highlighting feelings in a teen’s relationship.

Text about bio mom expecting a relationship after 16 years and feeling hurt when teen rejects being backup plan.

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Text excerpt reflecting feelings after bio mom appears 16 years later, expecting relationship but facing hurt from teen's response.

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She felt relieved from the stress and anxiety after finally confessing to the woman that she definitely didn’t want a relationship with her

Today’s story starts on a sad note as the original poster (OP) tells us how her biological mom had given her up for adoption because she wasn’t ready. However, when the daughter was 16, the woman suddenly showed up asking to bond. Well, the teen had a lot of questions, so she agreed to meet her, but little did she know how hurtful things would get.

OP found out that her mom was quite successful, but couldn’t have any more children, so she wanted a relationship with her daughter. The poor poster was absolutely devastated at being treated like a last resort, so she confessed that she didn’t want to bond with her. Unfortunately, the woman wasn’t able to take the hint and still persisted with her convincing.

When OP texted her to stop, the woman called her up and asked what made her so uncomfortable. Well, the teen spilled the whole truth about how hurt she was that her biological mom only wanted her because she couldn’t have more kids. In fact, the poster also confessed how bizarre the whole situation was since the “mother” was practically a stranger.

Although our lady admitted it was mean, she felt that what the woman was asking was quite unfair. However, after all was said and done, OP felt relieved from all the stress and anxiety that she had been feeling since her biological mom showed up. The teen also revealed that it didn’t really bother her if this bridge was burnt as long as it gave her mental peace.

Teen girl on bed using laptop, reflecting emotions about bio mom appearing after 16 years and relationship expectations.

Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

Research shows that, “During the teenage years, youth form an identity that is separate from their parents. They also learn and practice adult life skills. Adoption adds complexity to the normal developmental tasks of teenagers, even for those who were adopted as newborns.” It must have been challenging for the poster while growing up.

Moreover, finding out that her mother only wants her as a last resort must have added insult to her injury. Netizens pointed out that the woman was actually trying to emotionally manipulate the teen to form a bond. Experts warn that it’s important to set up clear boundaries with such master manipulators, or it can have an adverse impact on the victim’s mental well-being.

Her mom’s behavior was actually affecting OP as she was stressed out and anxious because of the whole situation. Well, I am glad that she set up healthy boundaries before it worsened her condition. Besides, it seems like her adoptive parents are really loving and caring as they let her decide everything that she wanted when it came to her biological mother.

National data collected on adopted children and their families in the United States shows that 85% of them are reported, by their parents, to be in excellent or very good health, and 88% of them aged 6 and older show positive social behaviors. Well, looks like it was a good thing OP was given up for adoption rather than facing neglect from her birth parents.

Don’t you agree? Let us know in the comments below!

Folks online applauded the poster for her update, claiming that she had made the right decision by standing up for herself

Screenshot of a Reddit conversation discussing maturity and life encouragement from a teen to supportive commenters.

Text conversation about a bio mom appearing after 16 years, relationship expectations, and emotional hurt from a teen.

Screenshot of an online comment discussing feelings after a bio mom appears 16 years later, addressing relationship expectations.

Comment on Reddit discussing a bio mom reappearing after 16 years, and a teen's response to their relationship expectations.

Comment about bio mom and developing a relationship, discussing feelings and potential future hurt in family dynamics.

Comment text praising someone for standing up for themselves and dealing with feelings when a bio mom appears unexpectedly.

Comment highlighting emotional immaturity of bio mom appearing after 16 years, expecting a relationship with teen.

Comment discussing bio mom appearing after 16 years, struggling with boundaries and relationship expectations.

Comment discussing handling a bio mom's unexpected return with honesty and maturity in a difficult relationship situation.

Comment on a forum screen with 48 points, posted 2 years ago, saying You did the right thing for you.

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