Woman Doesn’t Want Men Sitting Next To Her On A Busy Train, Gets In An Argument When She’s Asked To Move Her Bag From An Empty Seat

Sometimes dumping your bag on the bus seat next to you is an absolute necessity. You’ll know this if your mom has given you way too much homemade food and clothes to take to a far away university dormitory. And what’s a poor student supposed to do if not ride public transport?

This backfired on today’s Am I The Jerk participant who used her bags to occupy a seat next to her on the train while it was jam packed. Turns out she did it to protect herself from creepy guys.

More info: Reddit

With harassment being as big a problem as it is, people are trying to find ways to protect themselves

Image credits: veerasak Piyawatanakul (not the actual photo)

A Reddit user caught a lot of flak for taking up the seat next to her with her bag in order to protect herself from “creepy men”

Image credits: Illustrious-Sink-768

Image credits: Pixabay (not the actual photo)

People roasted her for being incredibly entitled, saying that she should have just stood if she felt strongly about it

This poster found herself the target of upset train passengers and netizens alike. Her decision to block one of the seats in order to protect herself from harassment may be understandable, but it still isn’t excusable. 

After causing a scene about this and still refusing to move the bag, an employee had to intervene, directing her to the priority seat.

This caught the ire of even more netizens as not only did she try occupying an empty seat, but she was now in a single priority seat, which the elderly or people with disabilities most likely need much more than her.

The men surrounding the poster weren’t exactly elderly, she mentions them being in their 30s and 40s, but that still doesn’t change anything as they have the same right to use the seats as the poster did. In her comments she further specified that she wouldn’t mind seating a woman next to her, as it wouldn’t make her feel unsafe, but creepy – and it seems this means “any” – men are a no-no.

While the commenters accused her of being a misandrist – someone who has an intense hatred or prejudice against men, it’s certainly statistically true that women experience a significant amount of harassment on public transport, most of it being committed by men.

Image credits: Alexie Valix (not the actual photo)

The statistics invariably vary, but considering the poster is from the US, let’s look at those statistics.

The Metro Magazine conducted a survey of 891 San José State University (SJSU) students, who frequently use bus and rail services. 63% said that they experienced some form of harassment while on public transport. And while the most frequently experienced thing was obscene or harassing language, at 41%, 11% experienced some form of physical harassment, which is very significant.

In the next part of the study, Metro describes finding that while both genders experience harassment, women suffer it far more. The chance for women to experience harassment while riding public transport was roughly double that of men. Obviously, this also led 45% of the surveyed women to reduce their usage of public transport, while only 7% of men had similar sentiments.

Image credits: Ian Taylor  (not the actual photo)

Considering all of that, you can do things to make public transport safer both immediately and in the long term.

According to an article in Stylist magazine in partnership with Transport for London, there are 4 main things that you can do to help prevent harassment. 

One is to recognize the signs: intense staring, rude remarks or requests, physical touching, showing explicit images, exposing oneself… There are many more indicators that something is off, and if you see the other person get uncomfortable, that’s a good sign it may be time to step in.

Interfering must be done safely – it could be done by striking up a conversation with the person being harassed about something unrelated, pretending you know them or even standing between them and the harasser, creating a barrier. 

If you believe that safe intervention isn’t possible, you should contact the attendants or even get help from the police. 

Once you’ve protected the person from immediate danger, you should provide emotional support. While you may feel angry at the time, it’s important to stay calm and not overwhelm the other person with your own feelings. 

Finally, you should encourage the victim to report the accident, as almost half of the people who experienced harassment do not talk about it or report it, allowing the perpetrators to go uncaught and become repeat offenders. 

As victims may be shaken up, the issue shouldn’t be pushed harshly, but rather gently supported.

This story by Illustrious-Sink-768 has a mere 74% upvote ratio, as opposed to the 80-90 percent they have a lot of the time, which is an indicator of what people thought about it. The poster’s comments were majorly downvoted, barring one with a single upvote, and they were judged to be a major jerk.

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The community downvoted her comments majorly and judged that she was, after all, a jerk

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