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Hey Pandas, AITA For Not Personally Informing My Ex-Wife That My Current Partner Is Expecting?

I, a 37-year-old man, divorced my ex-wife, “Sophie” (36F), eight years ago after a tumultuous five-year marriage. We had our fair share of ups and downs, including a failed attempt at starting a family. Like many couples, we faced fertility issues, which of course, put a strain on our relationship. After three years of trying and countless visits to fertility clinics, we discovered that the problem wasn’t even medical. It was during this stressful period that Sophie admitted to having an emotional affair with a colleague, claiming the infertility struggles had taken a toll on her mental health over the years.

The revelation shattered our already fragile marriage, and in the end I chose to end it. Moving on was hard, but I eventually found happiness with my current partner, “Emma” (34), whom I met about four years post-divorce. Our relationship blossomed, and to our delight, we recently found out that Emma is pregnant.

Emma is rather active on social media, thus she shared the news of the pregnancy publicly on her multiple accounts on Facebook and Instagram

Image credits: Kelly Sikkema (not the actual photo)

Sophie unfortunately managed to learn about this pregnancy not from me but through mutual friends who said they’ve seen the posts on social media posted by my current partner.

My ex-wife reached out, upset that I hadn’t personally informed her. She expressed how hurt she was, mentioning our past struggles and how this news reopened old wounds

Hey Pandas, AITA For Not Personally Informing My Ex-Wife That My Current Partner Is Expecting?

Image credits: Liza Summer (not the actual photo)

Our conversation quickly escalated into an argument, with her accusing me of being insensitive to her feelings and accusing me of ‘rubbing it in her face’

Hey Pandas, AITA For Not Personally Informing My Ex-Wife That My Current Partner Is Expecting?

Image credits: Alex Green (not the actual photo)

Our shared circle of friends has been divided on the issue. Some believe I should have been more considerate and informed Sophie myself in private, given our history. Others agreed that I had no obligation to do so, as we’ve been divorced for years and have moved on with our lives. I’m left wondering if I was in the wrong for not extending that courtesy to Sophie, despite our strained past and the fact that we’ve both moved on. Could I have done things differently somehow? AITA?

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Please note that the images included in this article are for illustrative purposes only and do not represent the actual individuals or items discussed in the story.

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Brainmas 5 months ago (edited)

She is entitled to her feelings and I understand why she was hurt, however you have absolutely no obligation to tell an ex what's going on in your life when you don't have kids together. It's been 8 years! She needs to move on. Your girlfriend is excited and shared the news, that's her right as the pregnant person, and yours as well as the father. Reaching out to your ex to let her know you got your new girl pregnant would be super weird, and she probably would have been just as upset and made the same accusations.

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