Hey Pandas, AITA For Not Telling My Friend I’m Not Happy With Her New Relationship?
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So, when I was in 7th grade, I had a huge crush on Lucas (M15), and my closest friend since the freaking 2nd grade, Amy (F14), knew that I liked him since 7th grade and Lucas liked me too, but neither one us of dated that young. We liked each other all through high school, but then several years later in our junior year, I noticed he started flirting with Amy, while I still liked him.
Amy, the “loyal best friend”, couldn’t help but give him the attention he wanted
Image credits: Eliott Reyna (not the actual photo)
Soon, it got out that he wanted to go out with her, but he was shy so he didn’t have the guts to ask her out. I was crushed! A week later, Amy started giving me the silent treatment out of nowhere.
I begged Amy to tell me why she was so angry with me, she wrote me a note explaining everything she hated about me
Image credits: the blowup (not the actual photo)
Part of the note was that she feels like I am “in the way of Lucas and her.” After about two months, she acts like our little issue never happened! Then, after a couple weeks, we still hadn’t spoken about our “argument” and she dropped yet another bomb on me.
Joe (M17), Lucas’s best friend, started calling Amy by Lucas’s name as a joke, so she knows the secret was gonna get out. What secret? They were texting a lot and were going to go to the Homecoming dance together but he was out of town which, by the way, she had been keeping from me. But wait! There’s more.
She has no idea that I am hurt by this, in fact, I study theater and plan to major in the theatric arts so I easily fooled her into thinking that I was happy for her and even though I am over Lucas (since the letter) I was still hurt.
Actually, every time I see her I act all bubbly and excited for her when in reality, I have daggers in my stomach
Image credits: Ben White (not the actual photo)
And it gets worse. I even asked her if she would go out with him. Her answer: “Probably, but since a lot of my friends have liked him in the past, I might feel pretty bad about it.” Then we were hanging out after school at Starbucks and the words “I would totally, like, marry Lucas tomorrow.” came out of her mouth. The truth is, honestly, she is a cheerleader and gorgeous so he most likely feels the same way, you know, classic football player, cheerleader love story, but I feel really upset about it and she doesn’t know. I don’t want anyone to feel the way I felt after she wrote me that note and so I am very hesitant to tell her how I feel.
I don’t know what to do! All she does is talk about him. Also, ever since she told me about the whole Homecoming story she wants to be best friends again, so like now you want me back? Come on.
So like, AITA for being pissed off about this and wanting her to shut her trap about it? I honestly need help. Also, if you’re confused by anything I said, please leave a comment and I will clarify.
Moderator’s note:
Please note that the images included in this article are for illustrative purposes only and do not represent the actual individuals or items discussed in the story.
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1. Having a crush on someone doesn't entitle you to anything. It's fine to ask your friend to dial down the chat about Lucas a little, but you can't call dibs on a person. 2. It doesn't sound like your friendship is that solid, you pretend to be happy when you see her, she gives you the silent treatment. You're in high school, not kindergarten. You can either talk through things or your friendship isn't that important to both of you.
I think the first thing to remember is that having a crush on Lucas, even if Amy knew, doesn't mean you have first claim on him. He's his own person and it is perfectly reasonable for him to like Amy and not you...that's just how life works. You can't make that decision for him. Secondly, Amy is also her own person and it is reasonable for her to like Lucas back. Yes, it was rude for her to not be honest with you, but it doesn't sound like you're being honest with her either. I would encourage you to take the higher ground, explain why you are upset but be willing to hear her as well.
1. Having a crush on someone doesn't entitle you to anything. It's fine to ask your friend to dial down the chat about Lucas a little, but you can't call dibs on a person. 2. It doesn't sound like your friendship is that solid, you pretend to be happy when you see her, she gives you the silent treatment. You're in high school, not kindergarten. You can either talk through things or your friendship isn't that important to both of you.
I think the first thing to remember is that having a crush on Lucas, even if Amy knew, doesn't mean you have first claim on him. He's his own person and it is perfectly reasonable for him to like Amy and not you...that's just how life works. You can't make that decision for him. Secondly, Amy is also her own person and it is reasonable for her to like Lucas back. Yes, it was rude for her to not be honest with you, but it doesn't sound like you're being honest with her either. I would encourage you to take the higher ground, explain why you are upset but be willing to hear her as well.
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