Hi all
So this is an odd one but I genuinely want to know if I was TAH in this situation.
I’m good friends with a colleague (Sarah) at work and we work a lot of our shifts together.
Sarah had booked overtime so she was on shift with me through this week. But cancelled a shift at short notice (48 hours) because she felt she needed a break or would be working 10 shifts in a row. That would leave me working alone for the shift so I said I would email to ask for another staff member to be provided to help me. She asked that I not do this as it could get her into trouble (company policy is 72 hours notice to cancel a shift) but it would really be doing her a favour if I didn’t draw too much attention to it. I am able to work the shift on my own but it’s much harder with 1 person, I agreed not to write the email asking for the shift to be covered which she was really grateful for.
yesterday evening was a really difficult shift and I was worried about working alone the next shift so I emailed the colleagues on my team asking if they could do a bit of extra prep before my shift started (if they had a chance as they were fully staffed). I genuinely didn’t think about Sarah or getting her in any trouble, I just wanted to ask for a bit of help. It hadn’t occurred to me that I was drawing attention to the fact she’d cancelled her shift, I have no desire to see her get into trouble for anything and especially not because of something I’ve said or done. It was stupid not selfish.
Later when I met Sarah and told her that I’d emailed asking for the extra help she became really angry and upset, saying that I’d gone behind her back and really let her down by writing the email. she believed it was a passive aggressive way of me getting her to come in that night to help and made it clear she felt I’d betrayed her trust by not backing her up. I panicked and walked away (I have pretty severe social phobia and will literally run from confrontation)
Later I went back to see her and apologised and tried to explain that it was not at all my intention to get her in trouble, She accepted my apology but still clearly believes that I wrote the email and possibly got her in trouble intentionally.
We left on good terms and she made it clear she wouldn’t carry on being angry at me but I can’t stop feeling bad about what happened. As I said, I didn’t write the email for any reason other than to ask for help but I’ve let my only friend down and it’s clear it really hurt her feelings and damaged her trust in me.
So honest answers please AITA?
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